Due to Chance
by Zentrodie
Summary: A simple game of chance changes the lives of not only the command staff but everybody they interact with
1. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer

Yeah yeah I know I shouldn't start another story, but I like have a four story rotation. This idea has been rattling around in my brain for some time, and I think its got promise. It'll be slightly longer, and will be darker in some respects than my other stories. Yeah, you know when I go dark its usually pitch, but I don't think it'll be 'that' bad.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 1

He could hear sirens in the distance yet saw no cars, in fact Shinji Ikari saw no signs of humanity at all. Holding the phone receiver in his hand, the polite automated voice repeated the fact that all lines were down, the confused boy set it back onto the receiver. "I shouldn't have come," he mumbled and stole another glance at the photo that came with the request he come to Tokyo-3.

The picture was of a shocked looking blonde woman eating a Popsicle. Clad in a white lab coat, black slacks, and a dark blue top that had two buttons undone, the woman had a sense of stern beauty to her. Her eyes were wide with a hint of anger, the arrow drawn to point out her ample cleavage did attract Shinji's attention, but not for long. There was no point in getting excited over things like girls, why bother when he knew nothing would come of it.

"Repeat all non-military personnel please report to the nearest designated shelter" the firm voice shouted over a nearby speaker. From the lack of activity on the streets it was evident that nobody was taking any chances. Windows and doors were shuttered, cars abandoned on the street, and a sense of desperation lingered in the eternal summer air.

Checking his watch, Shinji hummed loudly, his ride was due any minute, but with the public address system screaming out danger he felt inclined to listen to it. "I guess I'll find out what father wanted from me later," he said as he stuffed the attractive photo into his back pocket. Looking up for a moment, his body seemed drawn to move against his will he saw a girl in the far distance. "M-miss?" Shinji called out to the girl with strange blue hair and pale complexion.

Revving the engine, Kaji pulled up right along side his target and honked the horn. Things were moving faster than he had hoped, and he needed to get the potential pilot back to base. Finding the boy staring off into space rather than hiding was a plus. Rolling down the window of his economy car, "You're Shinji Ikari, right? Get in, sorry things aren't as calm as I had originally planned." He flashed his best smile at the teenager hoping to calm him. Kaji saw the face of the boy from all the reports he read, a boy he had to change.

Turning away from the girl to the car, Shinji pointed at the girl's location, "What about her? Isn't it dangerous for her to be out?" Looking back however, Shinji saw the girl gone. Shrugging, Shinji quickly climbed into the passenger seat of the man's car. "N-never mind, I must be seeing things or she left," he rushed as embarrassment crept in. "What happened to the w-woman from the picture. I thought she was going to pick me up," Shinji hoped he didn't sound as pitiful as he thought he did.

Nodding as his sense of relief increased, Kaji just laughed and smacked Shinji's shoulder playfully. "I sent you that picture of Ritsuko, Shinji-kun. Thought it might make your more interested in being on time," Kaji had told Ritsuko he destroyed said photo, but she should have known better. "Sadly you'll have to wait to see her in the flesh, you're stuck with me on the drive in. Ryoji Kaji at your service, but please call me Kaji," he offered the boy his hand as he kept his eyes on the road.

Shaking the man's hand, Shinji didn't know how to feel about this man. "S-Shinji Ikari, pleased to meet you," he introduced himself cautiously. The suave man seemed to have good intentions, but Shinji wasn't one to trust others easily. "Do you know why I was called here?" he asked with a pleading desperation. Maybe life would be getting better between his estranged father and him, but Shinji had little hope for that.

Before Kaji could reply, the reason Shinji was summoned presented itself in the form of a giant foot stomping down nearby and making the tiny car pop into the air. The tires strained and the axel almost snapped, but the car survived. Swerved madly on the street as the airborne wheels reconnected with pavement, it took skill to prevent slamming into a pole.

Popping a cigarette into his mouth, Kaji's nerves were frayed yet he kept his composure before the boy. "That is why you're here, Shinji-kun," Kaji said after he lit his smoke and took a drag. The man had thought long and hard about how much to let Shinji know before getting to base. Official word was not to say a damn thing, but Kaji wasn't known for following the rules. "I'm going to tell you a few things that I shouldn't, but I think you need to know them before you make your decision," he swerved into the entrance ramp to Nerv and parked on the car-elevator.

Pulling out the brochure that came with the letter and photo, Shinji started scanning it frantically. Nothing said anything about giant monsters destroying cities, and oddly that made Shinji a little more relaxed. "What can I possible have to do with that…that monster back there?" he balked and pointed back at the lip of the doorway just as it vanished behind the elevator belt. A loud explosion forced the boy to wince, and thank the heavens he wasn't still outside.

"N2 mine, JSDF must be getting desperate," Kaji explained after his own ears stopped ringing. Almost laughing as Shinji continued to peruse the Nerv pamphlet, the spy took the flimsy paper out of the boy's hands. "You won't find the reason in there. Because Nerv's, and your father's, use for you is secret," Kaji flicked his smoldering butt out the window and rolled it back up. "Nerv created a sort of biomechanical giant, sadly it only responds to certain people. We hope you're one of those people, and using that mech, we call them Evangelions, you'll fight that fucker up there," he jerked his thumb back towards the angel.

Laughing dryly, Shinji shook his head and responded, "That's crazy. Even if you had something like that there is no way I can fight in it!" His slim hopes for a positive reason for the summons vanished like the smoke from Kaji's cigarette. "Anyway shouldn't there be more people that have had training for this than some stranger off the street?" he said at the incredulous nature of Kaji's statement.

Starting the car again and driving it towards the parking area, Kaji shrugged sadly. "We do have two others, but one is hurt and the other in Germany," Kaji was nervous about the second pilot. Who knew what type of upbringing Asuka was receiving under Katsuragi's tutelage. "And you'd have as much instruction as we can give you. But in the end it is your choice, and I wanted you to have time to think about it rather than blitz you with it all at once."

That had been part of Gendo's plan, and Kaji knew it. Put everything on Shinji all at once and force the teenager into a choice he wasn't ready for. If Shinji looked ready to bail, Kaji half suspected Gendo would have rolled Rei out to drive the knife deeper into Shinji's resolve. The extensive psychological reviews of the boy painted a sad picture of a child easily manipulated by a man such as his father.

As the pair walked in silence, Shinji's mind worked heatedly on what this man had said. It wasn't lost on the lad that Kaji admitted to breaking the rules in informing him about his real reasons for being in summoned. Shinji liked that, made him trust Kaji just a little bit more. "H-how badly hurt is this other pilot?" Shinji asked ashamed of himself. He wasn't a fighter, and if this other pilot was capable he was going to leave.

Closing his eyes and wincing, Kaji was glad he was a step ahead of Shinji so the boy didn't see the reaction. "Badly, she's on a lot of pain medication and banged up pretty badly from a test gone wrong," he relented in telling. It was playing right into Gendo's hand, setting Shinji up with no recourse but to pilot. "But think of it this way, you'll be saving the damsel in distress and that earns you big points when it comes to women," Kaji turned and flashed Shinji a thumbs up. Knowing the girl was Ayanami Rei, Kaji was reluctant to use sex appeal, but it was something.

"And what would you know of women?" Ritsuko asked as she walked out of an open elevator. Wrapping her arms lightly around the man, she kissed his cheek before turning to Shinji. "I won't guess why you two were talking about Ayanami, I'll just assume you were going against orders again," she said mockingly. Disengaging herself from Kaji, Ritsuko extended her hand to the timid boy, "Ritsuko Akagi, pleasure to meet you."

The woman truly was beautiful, but something about her made Shinji leery of her. She appeared cold and calculating, he felt she was evaluating him as she bore down on him with those unfeeling green eyes. "Kaji-san was telling me about the other pilots," Shinji meeped out and extended his hand to grasp Ritsuko's. Her hand was soft but the grip firm and steady.

Her eyebrows rose at Shinji's admission, "Something you shouldn't know about until after we presented you with our request." She didn't sound angry or reproachful, just stating a fact. Turning to Kaji as the trio boarded the elevator, "When will you ever learn and follow regulations? Or do you want to be reprimanded?"

Chuckling, Kaji nudged Shinji in the gut, "Nothing like the picture is she?" He had to lighten the mood, had to keep Shinji upbeat and freethinking. "You'd never guess under her heartless exterior my dear Ritsu-chan is a real softy," Kaji accentuated his comment by hugging his girlfriend tightly. It was a dangerous game he was playing, working as a double agent, but with Ritsuko's help he was sure he was in safe hands.

"What picture?" Ritsuko asked in general confusion as Shinji presented the aforementioned article. Grabbing the eight by ten image of herself, Ritsuko's face flared a brilliant red as she tore the thing to pieces. "How could you sent that to him! You told me you destroyed the damn thing!" she fumed and stomped on the picture. It had been taken a month before they started dating, and she was in a real low spot in her life. Everything had been falling apart, but then Kaji asked her out and things started to change.

Whispering loudly to the giggling teenager Kaji hoped to keep the atmosphere pleasant, "Isn't she adorable when she's embarrassed?" He knew how far he could push Ritsuko before she actually got angry, and he was nowhere near that point. Things were to tense with the angel attacking to get overly offended by a simple picture that was borderline lewd. "Anyway, Shinji-kun, we're taking you to the Eva's loading area. Will you have made your decision before we get there?" he could see the boy still debating.

"Oh speaking of that, they've already suited Ayanami up and have her ready to load," Ritsuko's tone was harsher than she wanted it to be. Kaji was just to prone to acts of stupid heroism that it made Ritsuko worry. He was ordered not to let Shinji know anything about the Eva's in hopes to shock him into piloting. The boy was the only real chance they had at living, Rei would die if she piloted. If Kaji was fired or worse, Ritsuko didn't know what she would do, her life was now bound to his a little too tightly.

His demeanor of relaxation dropped almost instantly and he slammed his fist against the side of the elevator as the door opened. "Why the fuck did they do that? Is it more of the commander's bullshit to get Shinji under thumb before he gets a chance to fucking think?" Kaji raged. Gendo was up to something, something dangerous and Kaji had to find out what it was. "Why else would he be parading the First around like that?" he questioned.

Catching sight of Shinji unconsciously taking a step back from the man, Ritsuko sighed heavily. "When the EMP effect of the N2 blast made us lose track of your car the worst was feared. Even though I told them your car would die well before you do," Ritsuko tried joking. "Regardless the commanders' believed it was a justifiable excuse to get Rei prepped," but Ritsuko half suspected Kaji was right about things.

The rest of the walk from the elevator to the hanger was in silence. Shinji noticed Kaji and Ritsuko held one-another's hand and grinned a little at that. While he never expected to find somebody to care about, he enjoyed seeing others that did. People got happiness where they could, his came from music while normal people found it in other people. He still wanted to run away, now knowing his father only called him because of a potential use.

The trio walked through an assembly of workers that frantically prepped computers and machines. A frenzies energy lingered over everybody as they waited for either salvation or death at the hands of the beast they knew was coming. Many noticed the teenage boy walking with part of the command staff, and almost disobeyed orders. They were told not to address the boy, not to hint/beg/mention anything about his purpose. But it was hard, knowing if that boy left they would die made it painfully hard not to prostrate themselves before him and plead he take up the mantle of pilot.

Walking into a darkened room, Shinji saw Ritsuko head to a computer console and enter a few commands that resulted in the lights coming on. Seeing the head of Unit-01, Shinji took a stutter step backwards. "That is the thing you want me to pilot?" he asked with amazement and fear radiating from his words. It was gigantic, it was foreboding, and more than intimidating. "How can you expect me to pilot that?" he turned to Kaji as the man stood gazing at a medical bed.

"We just want you to try, Shinji-kun, that is all. If…if we don't stop the Angel we're all going to die," Ritsuko answered for Kaji. Part of Ritsuko would never like Rei, not knowing what she did about the albino, but most of her hatred for the child had drained over the years. "Will you at least try?" she asked as Shinji took a few fugitive steps towards Rei's bed.

"If you will not pilot, she will in your place," Gendo's voice boomed from the command box above the hanger. He had been listening to Kaji's breach of doctrine ever since the two males entered the base. Gendo left nothing to chance, and while Kaji was rough around the edges he did get the job done.

His breath caught in his throat as Shinji recognized the body on the bed. It was the girl he saw up on the street, but covered in bandages. "I don't really have a choice do I? She can't even sit up," his voice was borderline cracked. He felt like he was pushed up against a wall with no options. He didn't want this, didn't want it at all, but he couldn't let that girl die for his cowardice. "I-I'll do it," he said as the girl opened her undamaged eye and gazed up at him.

X-X

His eyes dully opened to the easily forgettable dimly lit hospital room. Staring up at the droll ceiling tiles, Shinji rubbed his forehead. "What happened," he moaned and sat up. He couldn't remember much of anything after he was put inside that monstrosity. Pain, confusing, fear, and yet something familiar were vague recollections passing into and out of his mind. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Shinji had one thing he had to do before all others, use the bathroom.

On unsteady legs he shuffled to the toilet and let lose his several hours of unconscious buildup. "Must have won or we'd be dead," he mused. Shutting the door behind him, Shinji meandered out of his room and into the hallway. Compelled to move, he just let his body take him wherever it wanted. It wasn't the first time he got wonder lust, it came hand in hand with his depression. He never felt like doing anything constructive so he'd just walk, and he felt no desire to lie back down on that thin and itchy mattress.

The windows gave a glance of the Geo-Front, but with the lack of lighting the night time scene was more a glob of bizarre shapes. The hallway was mostly vacant, an older man sat leaning against the wall with a hand wrapped around an IV-stand, an illuminated nurse's station had a bored looking forty-ish looking woman with shaggy brown hair reading a magazine. It was the typical scene in hospital at night, nothing going on except people sleeping or trying to stave off boredom.

Trailing the window with his fingers, the cool touch was nice on his fingers, Shinji walked away from the nurse's station towards an elevator. "What happens now?" he mused as he turned and put his back to window and leaned against it. Did he stay and continue to pilot that machine until the girl got better, or did he just leave? He had nothing to go back to, his teacher had over the years made it painfully clear he wasn't a part of the family, and he had very few friends at his old school.

A ding emanated from the elevator as its doors opened. Two night nurses wheeled the bed with the now gowned Ayanami Rei down the hall. They knew better to ask questions about the girl, anybody who did stopped showing up to work. How she got hurt was listed as an accident, the female night nurse hoped the girl didn't scar, and the male just remembered the rumors about the girl and the commander.

Rei's brain was foggy with drugs and pain, but she was able to catch sight of the boy by the widow again as she was wheeled past him. It was the commander's son, not that it mattered. Ryoji had informed her that his name was Shinji, and he piloted to prevent her from doing so, in effect saving her life. What that fact was supposed to convey Rei didn't know, she'd ask the commander if she was supposed to respond in some way. Seeing his hand trailing out towards her, Rei's head tilted as far as the pain would allow. He looked sad, why would he look sad if she was the one hurt? No matter, her brain just shut down as the drugs took hold and sleep overcame her.

Watching the bed, one of its wheels squealed and flailed about madly, Shinji's heart did go out to the girl. He didn't like seeing people hurt, especially that bad. "I guess I'll stay until she's at least better," he whispered. Did he expect repayment or even acknowledgement from her for his actions? No, Shinji had long ago abandoned the idea that doing a good deed garnered any form of positive karmic repayment. He did it, because he felt he had to, because he wouldn't wish pain on others. His mind did catch one small glimmer as the pale light illuminated the girl's features as she passed by. _She was cute._

But cute girls were a dime a dozen, and not being attractive himself meant he was destined to look but not touch. Why bother trying when you knew it was pointless, it would only result in more pain than from the start.

Walking back to his room, suddenly more tired than before, Shinji found the bed wasn't nearly as bad as when he first woke up. Pouring himself a glass of water from the bedside pitcher, he took a long gulp to eliminate the cotton mouth he had, pulled the thin sheet up to his neck and fell asleep.

X-X

Reading the print out of Shinji's supposed living arrangements, Kaji's mind started thinking. He had seen the interplay between the commander and his son, and it wasn't pretty. Gendo just bore down on the kid, and Shinji shrunk in on himself. Kaji would have believed the idea that if Gendo told Shinji to jump off a cliff the boy would ask which one. Gendo had too many dragons under his control, and it was Kaji's duty to undermine that until either Gendo proved to be on the up-and-up or exposed.

That and something about Shinji, Kaji liked and didn't want to see the boy suffer more than he had to. Kindred spirits, the fact they shared a similarly shitty childhood, or maybe it was just a whim, whatever it was Kaji was going to see to it that this boy didn't fall through the cracks. "Are you sure you're alright with living on your own in that part of town, Shinji? It's not the safest," Kaji asked leading the lad away from the commander's office, in which Shinji said a full two words.

"I'll be fine, Kaji-san, I'm used to it anyway," Shinji confessed with a shrug of his shoulders. The spell his father cast on him broke after he didn't have to stare at the man's face. Gendo intimidated Shinji to nearly a catatonic state, he was terrified of the man yet hated him for abandoning him. "I learned how to cook and clean at my old place, so it'll be alright, really," he repeated on seeing Kaji giving him a slight frown.

Clapping down on Shinji's shoulders, Kaji beamed a toothy grin at him, "Good way to be, but how about you move in with Ritsuko and me." They had just gotten a new place upon the joint decision to start living together. It allowed them to pool their knowledge better, and Kaji just loved being around the aloof woman. "We have a spare bedroom, two actually, so it wouldn't be a concern unless you don't like cats," Kaji's nose wrinkled at that. Ritsuko's two damn cats hated him with a passion. The black female, Luna, tore his clothing to shreds, and the white male, Artemis, used his case for its litter box.

Quite despite himself, Shinji found himself smiling back at the man who had a magnetic personality. "I wouldn't want to be a nuisance, so I-I'm good on my own," but his voice was all but singing. Something in how Kaji acted and spoke to him, Shinji liked it, made him feel actually welcome. "A-and I wouldn't want to get in the way of you two…" Shinji was more worried he'd embarrass himself in front of the beautiful woman.

Spinning Shinji around, Kaji kept his hands on the boy's shoulders and propelled him forward towards his car. "Speak nothing of it my boy, you're living with us now whether you like it or not. And don't fret about Ritsuko to much, like I said before she acts all distant and cold, but once you thaw her…she's butter," Kaji got the response from the boy he hoped in a spreading blush. Kid had self esteem issues all right, but that wasn't anything Kaji and Ritsuko couldn't fix. "Just don't let me catch you putting the moves on my woman, young man, or we'll have to fight it out," Kaji joked.

The image of the torn photo popped into Shinji's mind and his blush spread. "I-I wouldn't dare, Kaji-san! Seriously I wouldn't try that!" he flubbed. Girls were something Shinji put on the 'nice to look at, but outside of my world' category of things. Women like Ritsuko were paramount to goddesses that wouldn't deem him worth of piss if he was on fire. "Are you sure you want me to move in with you?" that hope in his voice dripped off with its clinging anxiety.

He could see it, Kaji could see Shinji timidly reaching outside of his comfort zone and trying to believe in something. It was so pathetically sad that it struck a cord deep inside the unshaven man. "Of course I am, boy. Wouldn't have said so otherwise. Now come on, this calls for a celebration," he wrapped an arm around Shinji's neck and gave the boy a few a noogie. It was going to be a lot of work, the kid's past really did a number on him, but Kaji had hope.

The duo got into Kaji's nearly dead car, and drove out of the Geo-Front with the afternoon sun starting to fade into dusk. They passed the drive time with idle chatter, Kaji learning more about Shinji with each carefully masked question. Few friends, dependency issues, severe depression, but underneath was a solid core of determination and that was a perfect foundation. The car came to a sudden stop on the rise above the city as the sun hung in its giant orange brilliance just against the western horizon.

"Come on out, buddy, I have something to show ya," Kaji gestured to the boy that had been silent the entire time. Pulling a smoke from his pack, he only had two left, Kaji grimaced. The cost of cigarettes was always on the rise, and both Ritsuko and he had a pack a day habit. Pulling out his celphone, he gazed at the tiny instrument and back at Shinji and his shoulders sagged. _She'll either kiss me or kill me over this._ He really should have checked with her before altering their lives with a child.

Standing with his hands gripping the metal divide, Shinji's eyes sparkled with an odd childlike joy he thought himself incapable of. "The buildings are growing out of the ground!" he cheered and marveled at the manmade miracle he was witnessing. Turning to Kaji, he saw the man on the phone and turned back to watch more of the city growing. He had protected it, with his own hands he had protected it. He couldn't remember much, but he did know that it was he that stopped the beast, and that did make him feel a little better.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Kaji let out the sigh of a man who knew he had just burnt a bridge. Ritsuko wasn't super keen on the idea of taking Shinji in, but relented that Kaji had a point. Shinji's wellbeing was paramount to survival, and the boy's mental state could only be improved by having what was akin to actual parental supervision. "Amazing sight isn't it? Great place to bring girls up on dates. The imagery gets them every time lets you get in for a little reward," he said to announce his arrival at the bar with the boy.

"It really is something else isn't it," Shinji chose to ignore Kaji's comment about women. He just watched as the sun finally vanished behind the horizon leaving a wonderful mixture of reds, blues, and oranges in its wake. Slapping at a mosquito that chose his left arm as a good place to score a bite, Shinji took a few steps backward from the divider. "Was Akagi-san alright with this?" he asked with the belief that Ritsuko not only hated the idea but vetoed it right out of existence.

Boy was quick thinker too, Kaji couldn't help but notice. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked back towards his car. "She thinks it will be good for you," which wasn't a lie. "Just as long as you don't turn out to be a cat torturer, in which case she'll kill you, things will be fine," Kaji just hoped that if either of them were exposed that Shinji didn't catch the flack for it. "Come on, lets hit a grocery store and score us some eats, if we don't hurry and get home Ritsuko will try cooking and I don't think I want the place burnt down," he was only half joking. Ritsuko made a passable instant meal, but beyond that it was either frozen or burnt.

X-X

Lying in their bed, his arm wrapped around Ritsuko's side gently cupping her exposed breast, Kaji kissed her shoulder lightly. "Still angry at me?" he asked in a hushed tone. He had yet to dislodge himself from her, but it wasn't something they worried about. Ritsuko was on the pill, as neither of them really wanted kids yet, not with their uncertain futures.

Rubbing her back against the man she first thought was a pig but eventually came to love, Ritsuko tittered. "No, I still hate you as a person, but love how you make me feel. This is a purely physical relationship after all," she replied in the same hushed tone. One of the things she picked up from Misato was the ability to tease and joke around with Kaji. Misato…Ritsuko didn't know if she feared or hated that name. Kaji had loved Misato, Misato broke it off, but what if Misato came back?

Giving the nipple a little tease, Kaji breathed in deeply of Ritsuko's scent, it was medical and sterile like the lab she worked in, but he grew to enjoy it. "Well if that's the case I better start acting my part as the male stud more often," he gave the woman a quick pump more as a joke than any real start of coitus. "Seriously though, I think having him move in with us is a good idea. We can keep an eye on him, maybe help him out of that shell of his. Though I think he might have a crush on you," Kaji accentuated that with another kiss to Ritsuko's neck.

Murmuring pleasantly as Kaji did what he did well, Ritsuko agreed by shaking her head. "He does seem to need some help, but I think you're exaggerating his feelings for me. I get the impression he's afraid of me. Maybe he's afraid of women in general, you know how shy kids can be," she bit down on her lip as Kaji started moving again. "But what about…you know?" she asked hoping to keep her voice soft.

"We get him nose canceling headphones so he doesn't hear the screams you drag out of me with that sexy body of yours," Kaji said huskily as he slowly started to build up steam. He knew Ritsuko was referring more to his work as a mole for the government, and her cooperation with him that lovemaking, but players were supposed to play. "As for that other thing, we'll just have to be extra careful about it. With him here it's likely to actually detract some of the heat we might get," he hoped at least.

Covering her mouth with her hand, Ritsuko closed her eyes as the made love for the second time that night, and the second time in their new apartment. It wasn't the best exchange they had, both to nervous about Shinji hearing to really get into it, but it helped calm them down. As she felt the man withdraw, her eyes hazy with incoming sleep, she slipped, "Do you think about Misato often?"

He could feel her body going tense against his as she spoke. Misato was going to be a shadow on their relationship it seemed forever. "I get updates from her over in Germany ever so often. She apparently hit it off really well with the Second Child," Kaji tried all he could to make Ritsuko stop feeling inadequate but it was yelling at a brick wall it seamed. "So I don't really think about her much, she was a great friend, but we just didn't work out. Not like us," he moved to kiss her again but Ritsuko's hand prevented it.

"Then why do you keep that coin, Kaji, why do you keep it?" Ritsuko asked with a sudden sorrow in her voice. The sound of a woman terribly afraid the person behind her was just going to vanish one day. She lived in fear of that coin, as everything good about her current life came from the outcome of it. What would her life had been like if Kaji had went to Germany instead of Misato. How would she have gotten out of her depression, would she have gotten out of it? "Do you keep it to remind yourself of her, or how you lost her?" Ritsuko forced her eyes shut to keep from seeing the damn thing on the nightstand.

Pushing her hand away, Kaji forced the woman to roll over so he could get a good look at her. She was shaking, borderline ready to cry, and it worried him. Yes he loved her, but he couldn't keep reinforcing it when she had such low opinion of herself. "I keep it because it was that coin flip that eventually lead us together. You know what I was like back then, I was lucky I didn't get my damn self killed with how brazen my actions were. You helped me overcome that, you are not Misato's substitute, Ritsuko. I liked Misato a lot, Ritsuko, but I love you. Never think otherwise," he pleaded hoping the believed it this time.

Nodding, Ritsuko didn't believe him. Misato was more fun, sexier, more normal that she was. Ritsuko had seem so many men try and fail at wooing Misato, only to see Kaji knock her out of the park so effortlessly that it seemed they were destined for one another. "I know you do…and so do I. Now lets get some sleep, I want to get Shinji into Nerv early tomorrow to get him started on tests and to get a plug suit ready for him," Ritsuko yawned and cuddled closely to Kaji's broad chest.

Wrapping his arms around her, Kaji pressed his chin to the top of her head and held her until he was certain she was sleeping. "I hope we all live through this, I really do," he yawned and joined his mate in the wonderful experience of sleep. They'd deal with the Ayanami issue later, just like they'd deal with Misato. If something came of it, they'd face it, if not it was just something on the backburner.

In a room on the far end of the apartment, Shinji slept soundly in his new bed under the unfamiliar ceiling. A new life was starting for him, he only could pray it was better than the one he left behind.

X-X

Authors Notes

And there you have the premise! I always wondered what would have happened if Misato and Kaji traded places. Asuka's comment about having met Misato before the ship got me thinking…maybe it was possible. It might be a stretch, or it might not be. Either way I'm going to try my hand at this. Hope ya enjoy

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	2. Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimer

Its time for chapter two of this one. I have such plans and thoughts about this one, I hope I can live up to them in my own head. Hope you guys like it too.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 2

It left a bad taste in his mouth, but Kaji had to abide by the conditions set by Gendo and Kozo about living with Shinji. Writing weekly status reports about the boys activities, and then delivering it to the men was equivalent of spying on the boy or being the schoolyard nark. But that was the yolk he had to bare if he was to keep Shinji in his care, and it helped that he told Shinji about it on day two.

Kaji was a little stunned when Shinji just shrugged as if it didn't matter, or he expected it. The two weeks of living with the boy had giving Kaji a fair share of unexpected moments for better and worse. Shinji was on hell of a cook, Kaji thought he was decent but Shinji blew him out of the water. On the personal front though, Kaji's reports showed Shinji talking to nobody outside of Ritsuko and himself. Kaji was going to have to bolster that boy's confidence or Shinji would wallow in depression.

"Kid needs to get laid, bet that would do wonders for his confidence," Kaji chuckled as he approached his two best male subordinates. "So how are things doing in our fair city, guys?" he called out to Makoto and Shigeru. Waving at the men as they looked over their shoulders' at him, Kaji hoped Ritsuko was doing better with Shinji down on the targeting range. "Or are you guys checking out the women again on the surveillance cameras?" he half joked.

A dry laugh, almost halting, Makoto shook his head and spun around in his chair. "We've managed to get a number of the weapons caches loaded and prepped. Only about five percent behind schedule too, crew two says they'll be finished by the end of day today," he saluted Kaji mockingly. "As for the women, you can rest assured we were not spying on your girlfriend, Akagi-san is safe with Maya down with the Third Child," he nodded slightly.

"Repairs to the armor plating were finished early last night as well," Shigeru added to the report without turning around. Typing in a few commands, the lover of air guitars pulled up the report and pointed at the details to his superior. "Casualties were very low, and we've got media outlets saying none took place, unofficially we now know we had four deaths and twenty-three accidents," Shigeru mournfully admitted. Spinning around to face Kaji however, a wicked toothy smile spread across his face, "And Makoto has only been watching the camera outside the women's changing room for twenty minutes today."

Kaji liked his two male subordinates, Shigeru was more flighty when it came to work but more stable on the social front. Makoto…Makoto was excellent when it came to on the cuff planning and reactionary tactics, but he had a weakness for the ladies that worried Kaji to a degree. Whenever he planned a small guy's night out to keep morale high, Kaji was never disappointed in seeing Makoto strike out with any number of women.

Towering over Makoto, Kaji let his mask of displeasure settle over his features, "You were hoping to see Ritsuko in the buff weren't you? You've been trying to horn in on MY woman haven't you?" he leaned over and bore down on the man. Kaji could smell the cheap cologne Makoto wore, and was tempted to tell him that it might be the cause he never got a date. He could see the man sweating and cringing into his chair, "Tell me what you were hoping to see by watching Ritsuko and Maya, and maybe I won't have you cleaning the toilets."

Blubbering under the perceived threat, "The Third Child! We've been hearing a lot of strange rumors about him, and its got me worried is all." Turning back to his station, Makoto flicked the switch that reconnected his monitor to the camera in the training room. His finger shakily pointed at the goliath's movements. "Y-you live with him right? What can you tell us about him? I mean he looks so…so…timid," the word hung low and distasteful in the air.

From the corner of his eye, Kaji caught sight of one of the mysteries of his life approaching. Ritsuko had helped Fuyutski with a few tests regarding Rei, and all of them were red flags about the girl. Had they not started dating at the same time, Kaji wondered what else Ritsuko might have learned about Rei other than the existence of the Dummy Plug and Rei's need to sync with it. Hoping to kill two birds with one stone, Kaji was trying to get Rei and Shinji to become friends, it was hard work as Rei was a hard nut to crack.

Smiling mentally, Kaji was glad for the timing. "Shinji-kun is a lot braver than you would have been given the situation, Makoto. He came at the behest of a man that abandoned him, piloted the Eva with no training, and killed an angel all so the First Child wouldn't be hurt. Could you have done something so selfless, Voyeur-kun?" Kaji jutted his finger squarely at Makoto's chest. Kaji spied Shigeru almost about to wet himself with suppressed laughter.

"Ryoji-san, I was ordered to see you after my physical rehabilitation ended. What did you need of me?" Rei butted into the conversation as Kaji's words ended. Her left arm was in a sling, but at least the cast was off, and her eye had a protective shield over it, but it was due to come off any day now. Her modified plugsuit had the arms removed, but still looked uncomfortable and a trickle of sweat from over exertion was seen on her face.

Swiveling on the balls of his feet, Kaji greeted the mysterious young teen with one of his roguish smiles. He had seen Ritsuko melt under its well practiced charm, he could hope it had some effect on the girl. "Head down to the targeting range, Ritsuko has a few questions for you about your recovery. And you could give Shinji some moral support while you're there," he winked playfully at the girl. He had been doing everything in his power to get and keep Shinji in the girl's mind. He didn't want them dating or anything, but if it happened he wouldn't stop it, he just wanted to break the girl away from the potential threat that was Gendo Ikari.

With a salute with her good arm, Rei left without a word to join Ritsuko and Maya in observing Shinji's training. She disappeared just as silently as she appeared.

"That girl creeps me right the fuck out," Shigeru said without care for decorum or proper etiquette. His head shook slowly back and forth as a grimace wafted unnervingly on his face. "She's so quiet and…those rumors about the commander are just sick. So why are you trying to get her and the Third together?" he tried to not come across as disapproving but it didn't work.

Thinking for a moment, Kaji decided to join the melancholy Ayanami in providing support to the only active pilot they had. "Not like I want them screwing each other or anything. I just think those two need friends like we need pilots. Both of them appear to be dangerously depressed, Shinji is getting better though. So I figure why not get them at least on SPEAKING terms with each other. They will have to act as a team, and what better reason than friendship," he stuffed his hands in his pocket and turned for the door Rei just walked through.

"What about the rumor about the commander and her through?" Makoto squeaked out. His face was almost plastered to the screen as Rei appeared on it next to Ritsuko and Maya…Matoko's eyes were more on Maya's ass than anything else. "You have to admit that with you taking in the Third Child over his biological father, yet the man still is listed as the First's guardian leads credence to it," the words were whispered almost fearful that somebody was listening that he didn't want to hear him talking.

Kaji didn't know what to make of the rumors, he had more pressing matters to investigate. He'd in time regret his decision, but at the moment he waved off the concerns. "I'm sure the commander isn't a pedophile, either of them. So I think this whole 'Gendo is banging Ayanami' thing needs to stop. I'm all for a good rumor, but that is just sick," he laughed nervously looking up at the empty commanders' box. "Think I'll go and see how our little savior is doing," he waved at the men and left with the unsettling image of either commander of sub-commander doing just what the rumor said. "Nah, can't happen," he shrugged hit the button for the elevator.

It was just the crew trying to come up with a reason why Gendo would be such a dick to his own child yet spend time with another. Nobody 'liked' Gendo, but they knew the man was the man in charge for a reason. Gendo and Fuyutski had plans, could get said plans done, and were responsible for such mind crushing decisions that it hurt to think about them. So, to cope, the crew came up with the rumors. Some said Gendo was a vampire and Kozo a demon. Others said the men were lovers. And the least charming, and most distasteful, rumor was that one or both of the men sampled the goods of the First Child.

Kaji entered the small room that hosted the computers that fed the Eva with mock battle conditions, he got a look of the giant purple beast moving and firing its blanks at targets he couldn't see. He did notice Ritsuko looked perturbed, and he attributed it to the silent girl watching along side her. "And how is he doing today?" he asked aloud and mentally chuckled at Maya jumping at the sound of his voice.

"P-Pilot Ikari's sync rate is up a good three percent from yesterday. It's almost as if he was born to pilot or something," her voice held a whimsical quality borderline hero worship. Not masking her disdain for Rei well, Maya passed over the girl and handed Kaji the print outs from the tests earlier in the day. "Akagi-sempai however…" fearfully Maya turned back to Ritsuko.

Turning off the connection between the test station and Unit-01, Ritsuko frowned. "He's not a fighter, he follows orders well…but maybe a little too well. I don't know what to do, because he won't say anything back, he just complies to everything we ask of him," her tone was neutral but she was wringing her hands. Turning the connection back on she asked, "Ready for a few more rounds, Shinji-kun?"

Knowing Ritsuko better than the other people in the box, Kaji didn't like what he was seeing. Ritsuko was afraid, she didn't like what she was doing, and she also didn't like having Rei so close. They had talked a few times about Shinji, and Kaji did enjoy the factoid that Ritsuko was warming up to the lad, but he didn't know how Shinji took to her. "Let me try something," Kaji asked sauntering up to the microphone. "Shinji-kun, looking good out there today," he started warmly, encouraging the boy was essential.

"Kaji-san?" Shinji's questioning voice peeked over the line almost embarrassed. The mighty arms of Unit-01 shifted and lowered its rifle. "I'm just doing what Akagi-san tells me to do, n-nothing really worth mentioning," the words were spoken quick and almost tumbled over one another.

Turning his back to the windows, Kaji gave Maya a quick wink. She blushed faintly, but Kaji saw her nervously look at Ritsuko. _Maya is either a lesbian with the wants for Ritsuko, wants me to stick it to her, or…_Maya was a little to eager to watch Shinji, and her voice was pitched. Hero worship, crush, or maybe genuine interest, Kaji didn't let himself dwell. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about Shinji-kun. You're doing great at following orders, but what if you didn't have orders? What if the orders didn't mesh with what you saw or knew? Remember you're the one with the best view of the battle, we offer our advice on what we know. But in the end it's you that makes the decision. Having us tell you what to do will work, but only so far. You've got a good head on your shoulders, you should rely on that first and us second," he nodded to his own logic.

Ritsuko shook her head, but the smile on her face betrayed her true emotions. "Must you always know what to say?" she asked and kissed his cheek. Taking the microphone from Kaji's outstretched hand, "I think Kaji has something, Shinji-kun. I'll be sending you a few stranger scenarios, but we won't offer you as much details. Lets see how you can handle this on your own," she shoved Kaji, who was standing to close for work situations. "And don't think I didn't see that wink mister," Ritsuko confessed playfully before seeing to Shinji's training.

X-X

Flipping the omelets out of the pan on onto the plates, Shinji sighed contently. He had expected to have failed the suddenly more difficult testing that Kaji set up for him, but he amazed even himself with his aptitude to think on his feet. His smile was small, almost barely noticeable, but it was there. "Breakfast is ready," he called out to the two adults, who he learned were not morning people in any regard. He hadn't be able to get two words out of Kaji before the man had two cups of coffee, Ritsuko was better…but Shinji didn't try talking to Ritsuko much.

Her green robe was tied half heartedly around her waist, giving a glimpse of the white lacy nightgown she slept in show freely. Ritsuko popped her first cigarette of the day into her mouth and all but fell into her chair, the cup of coffee was already there just how she liked it. "Shinji…you're a godsend…" she said deadpan and slurped up her coffee. Wiping a drop that escaped her wrath, "You shouldn't have to care to us like this, spoiling us," she tried joking.

Setting the plate of egg, red pepper, sautéed carp, and cheese before the waking woman, Shinji just waved his hand at her. "I-it isn't a big deal, Ritsuko-san," he was uncomfortable calling her by her first name but both adults insisted. "I like getting up early, I like cooking, so why not combine the two?" he set Kaji's place but he didn't expect the other man for a few minutes. Which meant awkward silence between him, and the woman he thought didn't care at all about him.

Taking a fugitive nibble, half a bite, Ritsuko sniffed at the food before sliding it into her mouth. Pounding the table gently with her hand, "That is reason enough to wake up. Boy you can cook a mean breakfast." She kept her eyes on Shinji as he moved about the small kitchen before setting at the furthest place from her at the table. "So how are things at school?" she asked and took another swig of her coffee.

Feeling the furry bodies of Ritsuko's cats at his feet, Shinji looked down and saw the little beggars wide eyes. "I put your food by the stove," he spoke to the felines with a cheeky grin and scratched the black cat behind the ears. He had to admit, Shinji didn't know originally if he was going to like the cats, but they were lovable furballs that got along with him perfectly. As the two cats dashed for the food, Shinji picked at the food he created, "It's going alright, but you know that already."

Taking another bite, almost half of the dish, Ritsuko rolled her hand over. "We know the facts, Shinji-kun, but facts and feelings are different. We want to make sure you're happy or at the least not suffering at school," Ritsuko came off just a little too harsh, as she cringed just as Shinji did. "Make any friends? They find out you're a pilot yet? Nobody giving you any shit?" her attempt to sound softer was a marginal improvement.

Chewing on one pepper that had been undercooked, Shinji shrugged. He didn't try to make friends, he didn't try talking to anybody. He saw no point in it. They wouldn't like him, but they would tolerate him. His class seemed peaceful enough, had a score of attractive young women, but he either focused on class or daydreamed. "Nothing much going on there really. I've talked to a few people, but the pilot issue never came up," Shinji just shrugged. Over the past two weeks, Kaji made it clear it wasn't an issue if his classmates learned he was a pilot, it was inevitable. The maddeningly friendly man even went so far as to say he could use his pilot status to get a girlfriend, or at least a female body.

Finishing her smoke, Ritsuko slyly looked towards her bedroom. It was still shut, and it was still silent. "Well when it does don't worry about it. I'm not sure what Kaji said about it, but if anybody gives you trouble over it just remind them that they'd be dead if it wasn't for you and your actions," Ritsuko ground the glowing embers against the overused ashtray. She smiled softly and added, "I'm sure he said you could use your status to get some tail, but I'm sure you're a better man than that, am I right?" her eyebrow raised questioningly.

Blushing softly, Shinji actually found himself staring into Ritsuko's eyes. "I-I-would never do something like that!" he gushed. The idea of using the Evangelion to get anything hadn't entered Shinji's mind. He was shocked to learn he was going to be paid for his services, and paid very well as risking his life merited healthy bonuses. "I guess…I guess I don't want them to learn that I'm the pilot in case I mess up and somebody gets hurt," the responsibility of protecting humanity was a tremendous burden, one Shinji didn't want.

A scowl dirtied up Ritsuko's face. "Anybody that blames you for accidents revolving around the Eva's is a fool. Shit is going to happen, it won't be pretty, and I'm sorry to say you will make mistakes, its human nature. But if those close minded idiots can't see the greater good, then…fuck them. You don't need to associate with idiots," Ritsuko said hotly without noticing Shinji's wincing at her words. "Humanity is a bunch of fools that think they can buy or sell anything they want…think they can get whoever they want just because they have a little power…because they know things," Ritsuko's eyes hardened but she wasn't seeing anything. She was lost in the sea of memory.

Looking at his half eaten meal, Shinji wasn't hungry anymore. Ritsuko's little trip down memory lane unnerved him to the point he wanted to leave. "I-I think I'll head to school early today. Hokari-san said she needs me to fill out a few forms regarding my transfer," he hurriedly gathered the empty plates and deposited them in the sink. Ritsuko was a scary woman, Shinji could never seem to please yet always upset. He tried, tried hard to either avoid her or please her, but it never seemed to work out. Gathering his school bag, he saw her still sitting pensively at the table, staring off into space. He had done or said something to trigger something in her, and it was best to run rather than face the beast.

Joining Ritsuko ten minutes after Shinji fled, Kaji unwrapped his breakfast, thoughtfully covered by the young chef. "Well that could have gone over better, you scared him right out of the apartment," Kaji mentioned as he sniffed at the food. He had been listening while trying to wake up, and heard Ritsuko go off unexpectedly on Shinji as unburied memories came forth. "He makes killer eggs, kids going to be a real lady killer if he gets over his self-esteem issue. They'll be lining up to be serviced then feed by him," he chuckled.

Her forehead resting against the back of her hands, Ritsuko dutifully examined her empty plate. "I fucking terrify him! I don't mean to, but I just…just don't stop to think before I speak and…god I wish I had your natural talent for people," her regret poured out of her. "He has a legitimate fear, and I go off on him because of my past! How far back do you think I set our little relationship?" she asked looking up at her boyfriend.

A chunk of egg hanging from the corner of his mouth, Kaji shrugged. "I still think he's secretly in love with you, but if you insist in thinking he's afraid I'd say a good day or two back. He's getting better, I bet even you can see that, but it'll take time," he sipped his coffee, cold now but that was his punishment for not getting up on time. "Though I have to admit I was wrong about one thing, and I'm going to hate myself for this," he moaned and pulled a cigarette from his pack.

Getting out of her chair and adjusting her robe, Ritsuko rotated her shoulder. "And what would that be? Me living with him and not making him horrified of women?" she headed to the bedroom to get her clothing.

"No, not that," Kaji called out louder so she could hear over the distance. "It's your cats. I assumed they hated me because I was a male, but they seem to love Shinji more than they you. They fawn over him, Luna's taken to sleeping on his bed, if you hadn't noticed," he waited for the crash from the bedroom…and was not disappointed.

Falling to the ground in shock, Ritsuko sat on the floor with her overturned drawers worth of clothing on her head and body. "That traitor! I nursed her from a kitten and she runs to the first man that isn't a damn gigolo!" Ritsuko called out as she pulled a bra off her head.

Kaji just laughed and went to help the woman up, and to race her to the shower for first dibs.

X-X

Standing over the boy he just punched, Touji still didn't feel satisfied. Not given to violence as a first resort, Touji had suspected that punching the guy responsible for his sister getting hurt would have made him feel better. It didn't, made him feel small and even more bitter. "Anything to say for yourself, kid?" Touji asked cracking his knuckles.

Shinji just rubbed his forearm under his nose and looked relieved to see just snot and no blood. "I didn't pilot it because I wanted to," he confessed looking away from the larger boy. "And I don't know why you're taking your anger out on me," he spit out the build up saliva in his mouth.

Grabbing the pilot's collar, Touji dragged the thin boy to his feet. "So you're saying you got my sister hurt and you didn't even want to pilot that thing? Why the fuck didn't they get somebody who knew HOW to then huh? Why did they have you, a fuckwad, do it and do more damage to the city than that monster did!" He was aware mentally that he wasn't making sense with his actions and questions. But all he could see was Mari, Mari looking at him from under the crumpled ceiling with shocked accusation.

Reality said it was Touji's fault Mari got hurt. He had been so sure it was just another drill, that nothing was really going to happen that he told his litter sister to just go back to her room. Then when the building shook, the beast taking missile blasts yet remained unhurt did he act. They were to late to get into the shelters, all the nearby ones were under lockdown. So it was his bright idea to hide in the subway. A beam crashed when Unit-01 was incased in the suicidal attack from the angel. It hit Mari, hurt her, left her bedridden and possible paralyzed from the waist down. But he couldn't blame himself for that, to accept his guilt would be to great a task for Touji at the moment. So when he heard Shinji was the pilot after a gaggle of girls asked him over IM, Touji had his scapegoat.

For his part, Shinji did nothing and said nothing as Touji hoisted him into the air and held him up on his toes. He was aware that a gathering of students was filling in around them, watching them, and judging him. "I'm sorry your sister was hurt, but they didn't have any other options at the time. If I didn't pilot, nobody would have," he didn't mask his disgust for himself.

Rage at himself misdirected at the boy he could see wasn't lying forced Touji to hurl Shinji at the ground. "Sorry isn't good enough! What if she can't walk again! What if she gets a scar! What!" he screamed so loud spittle flew from his lips. He had to have some greater reason for Mari's injury than Nerv was low in pilots and grabbed the first available! Things had to conform to some greater design than Mari's being paralyzed because he was to stupid to heed the warnings!

Something snapped in the boy covered in dust and blossoming bruises. A fire that wasn't there in his eyes before burst into existence. Standing up and dusting himself off, anybody from Nerv would have seen Shinji trying to stand similar to the way Kaji did. "Sorry is the best I can offer you. You're asking me all these questions, why not answer on for me. What would have happened if I hadn't piloted? What would have happened to your sister and you if nobody stopped that thing?" his voice lacked the strength needed to be really powerful, but several students either looked away or started to move to intercept Touji.

"I…she…fuck!" Touji screamed and stomped his foot. He wasn't stupid, contrary to what the girls thought. If this boy wasn't telling stories to hit up the girls or make a name for himself. If he was telling the truth and Nerv truly didn't have any options other than to use an untrained person to save them…then Shinji had in fact saved Mari's life, his own, and everybody else. But before he could act on Shinji's question, the sirens started blaring again.

"Ikari-kun, we are needed at Nerv, I'll go ahead," Rei said announcing her presence in the crowd. She had witnessed the whole event with Touji and Shinji's outing as a pilot, but said and did nothing. It wasn't her place to get in the way, Shinji had Section-2 agents just as she did that would have stopped things if they escalated. But something felt odd…she had twice stopped herself from interfering with the larger boy's actions, only to stop and look at her hands confused.

Touji just watched as Shinji got up and followed after the freak. "Lets get going to the shelters," he said to Kensuke who he knew was hovering around somewhere within earshot. He wasn't going to make the mistake again of not heeding the call of safety. But that girl, Rei, had actually been watching him pummel her co-worker and did nothing to stop him. More reason to avoid her like everybody else did, she had all the signs of damaged goods, a freak with no personality, known for saying creepy or off putting comments. Let Nerv keep the weirdo's, maybe being with Nerv fucked their brains over.

"Man we have to sneak out and see that thing in action!" Kensuke pleaded to his buddy as the followed the other students to the nearest shelter. While Shinji had been laying on the ground, Kensuke did try to inform the beaten pilot as to Touji's intentions, but didn't think Shinji heard him at all. "We owe it to him to cheer him on when the time comes!" he said sowing the seeds of their inevitable encounter with the mighty beast of Unit-01.

X-X

Sitting in the isolation cell, Shinji's body still felt traces of the pain his machine felt. While he could see his stomach hadn't been pierced by energy tendrils, he had the sensation that he had. He had been tempted, oh so tempted to pretend he hadn't seen the two boys he was later informed were named Touji and Kensuke had been between his unit's fingers. But just like when he stood up to the boy Touji, he knew Kaji wouldn't resort to such cowardice.

So he had let them into his entry plug, Ritsuko had said he was being stupid and going against orders, just another way of failing the woman Shinji supposed. But as he lay prone on the ground, he saw the Angel's core, it gave him an idea that was contrary to Kaji's retreat and rearm suggestion. He took it, he killed it, and now he was sitting in the dark awaiting a chastisement. Guess Kaji's talk the other day was just more bullshit after all.

When the door suddenly opened and he was bathed in searing white light, Shinji shielded his eyes as best as he could as the blob of shade moved into his room and again their was darkness. "Are you going to yell at me like Akagi-san did?" he forced his voice not to convey his fear and anxiety. If he had upset Kaji, if he had pissed off the only person in the whole city that genuinely seemed to give a shit about his existence, Shinji was just going to run. It was better to run than face a world that hated him.

Leaning against the wall, its cold slick surface was welcoming to his stiff and ridged back, Kaji sighed languished. "I'm supposed to, Shinji-kun, that's what they sent me in here to do. They want me to berate you for disobeying my command. I'm to remind you that you're a soldier and soldiers follow the orders given to them," Kaji light up a match, for a moment the two could see each other as Kaji lit his smoke. Kaji saw the dark circles under Shinji's eyes, and the defeated expression.

"What about my classmates, are they in trouble too?" Shinji didn't bother trying to defend himself. "I'm sure you know about what happened at school before the attack, and he had a legitimate reason for what he did," Shinji would have done the same, he thought, if he had a sibling hurt by somebody.

The cherry of his cigarette danced in the room, and it was enchanting, but Kaji just took a deep drag and let the course smoke fill his lungs. "You're not going to say anything about why you attacked and didn't run away, Shinji?" Kaji's tone was questioning but softer. "As for your friends, they did seem to be worried about you and said it was all their fault for what happened, are having a talk down with Ritsuko right now. The small one looked ready to cry and the big one that had his one sided fight with you ready to puke. So there is another feather in your cap, you can face Ritsuko without wetting yourself," Kaji sat down next to Shinji feeling his way with his hands.

Nodding, not that Kaji saw it, Shinji smiled thinly. "Well I won't lie and say I'm upset that they're getting a little punishment," Shinji was so selfless that he didn't like getting revenge against those that hurt him. "As for what I did…what can I say really? I mean I saw an opening as I was letting them into my entry plug. I remember how the last creature reacted to my hitting the sphere in its chest so…I lunged. I thought that once I hit the core it would die," Shinji's shoulders sunk. He disappointed everybody by acting how he did, and to make it worse he was actually doing what Kaji had told him to do the day before! Then he felt Kaji's arm around his shoulder, his heart skipped a beat.

Squeezing Shinji's shoulder supportively, Kaji laughed joyously. "Now that is what I wanted to hear my boy!" he sounded ready to laugh again but didn't. "I'm not going to say shit about what you did, because I trust your judgment in that situation. If you didn't have a reason for doing it, I would have been upset at your recklessness. But no, you had a legitimate cause that we didn't see, you acted on gut instinct, and got us a near perfect sample to study. You did good, despite what the others say," he gave Shinji's shoulder another squeeze.

Facing the soothing voice, Shinji felt pride again wash through him. He had made this man proud! Kaji was quickly rising up the ranks in Shinji's mind as a person to aspire to, he wanted to make Kaji proud almost as much as he strived to make his father proud. Kaji was an infectious man, that brought joy instead of destruction. Kaji's personality made Shinji at ease, unlike the confusion Ritsuko presented. "But if…if I did the right thing, why did Akagi-san get so angry at me?" he couldn't help but ask.

Releasing his hold on Shinji, Kaji moved towards the door. Giving it three quick raps, he was almost out of time. "Because Ritsuko isn't known for her social graces. You might not believe this, but she is worried that you're terrified of her. Like I told you before, she's a real softy once you get past the veneer. You two have a lot in common, don't let her cold exterior push you away," he confessed. The door opened again and the blinding light covered everything. "Now I'm sorry to say you'll have to stay in here for a little longer, the punishment for doing the right thing. But when we get you home, its party time," he flashed the boy the thumbs up and rejoined the world of lies and deceit.

Back in the darkness, Shinji couldn't keep his grin from widening. He had saved everybody again, and this time it seemed nobody got hurt! He even got complimented! While Ritsuko still was a mystery, Kaji was a good man, and Shinji could put up with a little more it seemed than he earlier suspected. "I wonder how things will be at school now that this whole mess is in the open?" he asked aloud. Nobody responded save the echo the confined space provided. But now the darkness wasn't quite to confining, his mind wasn't as burdened, and maybe he'd take Kaji's advice and approach Ritsuko differently.

X-X

"Didn't expect the Angels to attack again so soon," Kozo commented idly as Gendo and he moved down deeper into terminal dogma. "But it appears the Third Child has been making marked improvement on his training," he couldn't help but barb as Gendo made no noticeable sign of reaction.

Entering his password into the secret console on the elevator, Gendo set the floor. "He will do as he needs to. Until we have Unit-00 back in working condition and we get Unit-02 from Germany he has no option but to do as we say," he grunted and adjusted his tight fitting collar. "It was fortuitous that we got the specimen this time," he said almost as an afterthought.

Closing his eyes, Kozo felt remorse that what Gendo just said was as close to a compliment that Shinji would ever receive unless Gendo needed to pull the leash. "True, we'll be able to learn a lot about our foe from that little gift we received," he added. Walking through the open door of the elevator towards the secrets of Nerv, Kozo started to sweat unnoticed.

"Not that it really matters what we learn of them, we have the scrolls and that is enough to prepare us," Gendo swiped his badge at a door and walked into the dirty room. A cot, hardly a bed in any regards, was propped against the wall with bloody bandages and wads of cast off cleaning supplies. Putting his hands against the tube of the dummy plug, Gendo fixed his tired eyes on the empty tube. "How is progress with the system going?" he asked with the hint of expectant dissatisfaction.

Opening his case, Kozo handed Gendo the current status on the dummy plug, it wasn't good. "It'll take longer than I thought. It is a shame we lost the young Akagi when we did, she would have made a valued asset," he couldn't keep looking at Gendo or the tube. Secrets were good only as long as they remained so, best to not probe deeper lest suspicion rise. "She isn't the woman her mother was, but the younger Akagi is still a genius. Are you sure we couldn't ask her?" he fumbled his hands over each other.

Turning from the amber filled tube, Gendo headed to the next door leading to the graveyard of cast off units. "No, we know she is in league with Kaji so she is to likely to side with him. But Ryoji is still a valued asset to keep around," Gendo stood overlooking the great bonewastes that had taken up residency in the basement of Nerv.

"As long as he works more for us than for them, I agree to keep him around, but you could apply a little force to Akagi and she might turn to our aid," Kozo presented happy to be out of the room of the dummy plug. It was his task to get it working, it was his duty to work with that shadow of Yui, and it was his cross to bear. "And aren't you worried that they both took in your son?" Kozo had taken a personal interest in Shinji, his duty to his departed best-student.

Head down in contemplation, Gendo grunted. "No, Akagi is too attached to Ryoji to be of use, and I don't care what they do with that boy as long as they keep him piloting. We cannot fail, it is not an option," Gendo's clenched fist was white with stress. His eyes danced crazed with whatever fevered vision he was seeing. "Get the dummy plug working, that is your task now professor, you're the only option we have for it. I'll see to Seele and the other hurdles in our way. On the plus side Adam has been found, I'll test our little spy in retrieving it when we sent him to fetch Major Katsuragi and the Second Child," Gendo headed back to the door.

Fuyutski just watched as Gendo left him alone with the corpses of their failures. It was their plan, Gendo's, Yui's and his own to undertake this scenario, but it wasn't wanted for Yui to be taken. Kozo feared for Gendo's sanity at the loss of Yui, and with good reason. But no matter, he'd see to Gendo when the time came. For now it was just as he said. He'd see to Ayanami and the dummy plug…

X-X

Author notes

Man I forgot how slow Eva starts off…been awhile. Trying to show changes and such. Continuing to try using my new style of keeping PoV more fixed and less all over the place. I like how its turning out, but I'd be more than happy to hear your thoughts. Its different than my old way, and it might not work as well as I think it does.

Anyway, hope you're enjoying.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie(dot)geo(at)yahoo(dot)com


	3. Chapter 3

Standard Disclaimer

And another cycle complete. I'm glad to be on this story again, its fresh and enjoyable to write. Hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. I know this stuff is just fan-fiction but…its just enjoyable. Some might say it's a waste of time, waste of space, or even insipid but we don't agree, you and I.

X-X

Due to Chance

It took all his talent to keep his composure as he walked across the cavernous room that was Gendo's office, but Kaji did it with style. It wasn't an unexpected call, he did get called to talk to the commanders quite often, however he knew this wasn't going to be the standard 'how are things going' meeting. Coming to a halt a good two feet away from the ebony desk, Kaji saluted sharply. "You wished to see me, sirs?" he addressed the two watching him.

Watching from behind his tented hands, Gendo's tinted glasses reflected the dim light of the room. "You canceled the order given to Section-2. You pulled back the agents following the runaway Third Child. Fuyutski wanted to give you the opportunity to explain yourself," the man drooled out and lowered his hands to show a complex and disapproving frown.

Taking a step closer to Gendo, Fuyutski held out his hands in a pseudo peace offering. "We just don't understand what made you do it, Kaji-kun. If we lose track of pilot Ikari, how can we pull him back in if we need him? It is a risky and dangerous thing to do with the only available pilot we have," his diplomatic tones wafted carefully through the room.

Squinting as the light behind the men shadowed them, Kaji nodded mentally. It was exactly what he expected. A week after the fourth angel was downed, and Shinji was released from his brief stay at the hospital, shit hit the fan. Now a day after Shinji ran off into the night, Kaji had to explain why he found it acceptable to remove the protection the boy had. "Sirs, I believe that Shinji's actions are merely his minds way of coping with what has been a drastic change in his life," Kaji began his rationalization.

Pushing his slipping glasses back up, Gendo made a non-committal grunt. "Your report stated his mental state was recovering. Are you now recanting that statement?" the question had an edge to it, a very dangerous edge. Pushing the folder containing both Kaji's and Ritsuko's reports on Shinji closer to the spy, Gendo tapped his finger on the manila folder.

He could feel a cold sweat run down his back. Dealing with these men was a true life and death situation. Kaji played a dangerous game, exposure meant death, disobedience meant death, but he had to play. "He is getting better, just the combined effects of the last angel and his incarceration caused a blowback. As for his Section-2 guards, I thought they would do more harm than good. They would make it seem as if we don't trust him, by giving the illusion that we let him go off on his own would build his trust in us," he had to show he was more aligned with Nerv than Shinji less the Commander take issue.

"Illusion?" Kozo's eyebrows rose slightly and a smile threatened to expose the elder man. "Are you not telling us something, Kaji?" Kozo asked as he scooped up the folder of data on Shinji. Opening it, he flipped through several photos and documents all pertaining to Shinji. "What ace do you have up your sleeve this time?" Kozo took a small candid photo of Shinji out of the file and set it back down.

He didn't want to expose his ace, but Kaji had no choice. "I ordered all but one agent to stop tailing Shinji. Sonozaki is still trailing him, but keeping out of sight. Her orders are to watch, but not intrude until the order is given. So, like I said, he gets the illusion of being on his own to blow off some steam. When he's feeling more level headed, or we have an emergency, he'll be back," Kaji hoped anyway.

He had a lot of faith in Shinji. Even the video footage from inside the jail cell gave credence that the boy was made of sterner stuff than people gave him credit. It was a big mistake that made Kaji all but drive Shinji out, but that had been a real bad day. Ritsuko was still blaming herself, but he was going to put an end to that if things got worse.

Again Gendo made a grunt that was neither positive or negative, simply a grunt of a man that appeared bored. "Keep us updated on her reports," Gendo gave no sign of caring about the actual wellbeing of the pilot. "We do have another matter to discuss while you are here," he reached down and pulled out a single piece of paper with a photo paper clipped to it. Sliding the documents across the table, "Events transpiring elsewhere are going according to schedule."

Pulling the photo away from the paper, Kaji didn't know what he was looking at for a moment. It appeared to be a semi-transparent shrimp, but the document cleared that up, and oh how Kaji didn't like what he knew was coming. Adam, he was holding a picture of Adam in his hand. "Where was it found?" his throat was impossibly dry that it hurt to talk. His briefing on the angels, data Nerv only imparted to him with the threat of death over it.

"None of your concern," Kozo quipped almost as soon as Kaji spoke. Adjusting his uniform, the older man's eyes turned suspicious, almost accusing. "All you need to know is that you'll be procuring it when you go to meet and gather the Second Child, Unit-02, and her guardian once preparations are complete in Germany," his words flowed out smooth as silk.

Quite despite himself Kaji mouthed the name 'Misato' without really noticing. "When the time comes I'll be ready," Kaji informed the men that were tightening the noose around his neck. He had to know what Gendo needed that abomination for, had to learn more of the secrets behind Nerv, or all could be lost. "Did you need anything else from me, sirs?" he wanted out of that damnable room and the sick men in it.

As Gendo waved his hand dismissingly, Kozo did raise his hand with one gnarled finger extended upward. "I did have one more thing to ask, but not really of you but you're lovely girlfriend," the old man purposefully said. "I have some figures that I'm having issue figuring out, a file out on the Magi, she'll know where. Tell her to look into it if she has time," Kozo took a fugitive, fearful, look at Gendo then back at Kaji, "It is very important that this matter be executed as quickly and quietly as possible."

Kaji felt that one like a punch to the gut, but he didn't let the man still watching him know it. "I'll inform her of your request when we get home today," he said with as much civility as he could muster. Then with another sharp salute the spy fled the lions den. She wasn't going to like Kozo's little request, Kaji knew that. Was it another issue with the dummy plug, was it Ayanami, both, or some new mad scientist experiment that was draining Ritsuko's sanity.

Shutting the door to Gendo's office, he could hear muffled voices from the command bridge, one of which mentioned his name. Shinji's bout of teenage rebellion had a lot of folks scared, and that fear transferred to anger at him. They blamed him for Shinji's state, and any problems that could come from it. What did they expect from him damn it! The boy had issues, most of which were purposefully given to him to make a useful puppet. Kaji had years of parental neglect and dependency issues to work through.

No matter, Kaji had hope he could keep the boy's spirits up and bring him back into the light. One little runaway wasn't going to darken Kaji's feelings for the lad, and with each passing day Kaji took more to the boy. Shinji was so much like he had been at that age, and Kaji felt it a type of karmic repayment in healing the boy. _Maybe I should see if I can get Maya to give him a lil loving…if she isn't a lesbian. _

Almost laughing as he thought of approaching the timid girl and asking 'hey why don't you bang Shinji to give him some confidence' he walked up to the guys at their stations. It was time for the morning meeting, see how close Unit-00 was to being reactivated, and how Ayanami's healing was progressing. He did spy Maya checking out the little talk, but couldn't make out her expression. No matter, he wasn't that stupid to think the woman was really on the make for Shinji. It was just a silly idea his tired and fearful mind came up with, no substance at all.

X-X

His feet hurt, he was hungry, but Shinji still had a lot of thinking to do. Did he really want to stay in this city where his life was threatened, or did he want to return to the life he had before. It was a pointless question, as the life he had before wasn't really a life. He knew he was just going through the motions back then, and had no real desire to go back to it.

Wandering through the hillsides around the town, the tree's swaying in the light breeze of the afternoon, he heard a voice off in the distance. "What else do I have to do," he muttered as he turned towards the faint sounds. He had been thankful he'd not been grabbed by the guys in suits that had stalked him since he came to town, but that in itself made him think.

If they weren't following him now it was one of two things. One he had been written off as gone and never coming back, or the more positive thought they didn't think he needed constant guards. It was no real matter, either way he was glad to be able to walk and think. It did his mind wonders to just get away and think, daydream, and hope all sorts of things he'd never normally let himself consider.

Walking and his SDAT were his only two constants in life, it seemed, well loneliness but Shinji didn't even consider that anymore. Being alone was just the natural order. He was undesired and thus would not have friends or companions. It was alright, he was used to it, and in a way it was safer. If he let people in, they could hurt him more than if he just kept them away.

Kaji for example.

Shinji foolishly let the man into his comfort zone and was thrashed to ribbons leading to this little sabbatical. Kaji went off on him, and as a result Shinji did what also came natural, he ran. Now he felt foolish, but could he go back and ask forgiveness? Try to get back that small spark of human warmth that Kaji and maybe Ritsuko could offer?

A smell hit his nose as he approached the voice, now louder, and it made him salivate profusely. It wasn't the dirty or rotten smell of some dead animal, no somebody was cooking. "Maybe I could just…" Shinji wasn't above stealing to keep himself fed, his stomach rumbled in agreement. The voice sounded far off, but he could see a small fire now, and a campsite built around it.

Sneaking closer to the small fire pit, Shinji could smell the aroma of undercooked rice, but at that moment in time it was heavenly. The cooker was hung on a metal rod supported by two forked branches, crude but effective. "Now how do I get it off?" he wondered aloud staring at his salvation but not knowing how to get it.

"Use the stick on the side to prop the rod off the left side, then slide it off," a voice explained from behind.

Spinning around so quickly he fell back, dangerously close to the fire, Shinji held an arm out protectively in front of his face. "I wasn't going to take all of it!" he yelped shrilly. He peeked through his fingers, seeing the gun made him almost wet himself, how brave he felt. But bravery didn't need to be fed, bravery didn't need to worry, bravery was mindlessly throwing ones life in harms way. Bravery was for fools. Sneaking another peek, however, Shinji saw somebody he actually knew. "Wait…weren't you?" he let his hand slide down.

Kensuke shouldered his mock-rifle and grinned sheepishly, "Yup, Kensuke Aida at your service, Ikari-kun." Grabbing a stick on the side of the fire, Kensuke liberated his dinner and let the container tumble to the ground to cool. "Haven't seen you in almost two weeks, Nerv stuff?" Kensuke asked while helping Shinji off the ground.

"Something like that," Shinji lied. "What are you doing out here?" he couldn't help but ask. Watching the boy scooping out two helpings of rice, Shinji didn't want to offend his current benefactor, but it was a little strange. "Your friend isn't here too, is he?" he hated that smidgen of fear in his voice. Like most humans, Shinji hated pain, and Touji had thus far been a large deliverer of it.

Handing his guest half of the food he prepared, Kensuke shrugged. "I'm training myself to join the JSDF after I get out of school. And no, Touji doesn't come out here with me. He say's I'm being stupid, but I think he just doesn't like sleeping on the ground," the boy laughed a little. Taking a bite of the rice, he stuck his tongue out, "Ew…I could never get the hang of cooking rice like this."

If the food tasted bad, Shinji didn't notice, he didn't even taste it as he shoveled it down his throat. "Thanks for the food," he got out between bites. After several frenzied minutes of scarfing down the food, Shinji was pleasantly surprised when Kensuke handed him the other half. "You sure?" he eyed the food predatorily.

"I can't stand the taste, but you don't have that issue," Kensuke said offhandedly. Getting back to his feat, Kensuke set his wooden rifle down along with the others. Watching Shinji eat, Kensuke's head weaved back and forth, seemingly contemplating some great thought. "You going to be coming back to school soon? Touji's been going nuts worrying that we got you in trouble during that last battle," Kensuke walked around Shinji, giving the boy a wide birth.

Picking the last of the sticky rice off his face and popping it into his mouth, Shinji let out a content burp. "Yeah…I should be back in a day or so," he was going home, if he could still call it that. What life he had here was better than the drab existence back with his teacher. Sure he could die, but death didn't always seem like such a bad thing to Shinji. "And I didn't get in trouble, not really," he didn't consider the cell a real punishment. "What about you guys, I heard Ritsuko-san really gave it to you," he did wish he could have seen that. Ritsuko was a damn scary woman when angry.

Coming to a rest across the fire from Shinji, Kensuke stoked the flames a little. "Yeah that blond lady was really something. Really pretty but damn did she say some threatening things," Kensuke didn't go into anymore detail. "You want to stay the night here with me? Be nice to have somebody to talk to for a change," Kensuke stole a glance at Shinji with one open eye.

Strange, this boy was strange, but Shinji didn't mind it to much. His body was tired, and he could suffer through some conversation for a place to lay down. "Sure, if you don't really mind my company," he was leery of taking a risk, but this boy Kensuke did seem friendly enough.

His face breaking into a wide goofy smile, Kensuke bounced as he sat. "Wouldn't have asked if I did mind. I've had so many questions about the Evangelion's that I've wanted to ask for ages, but Ayanami scares the shit out of me so I could never ask!" Kensuke gushed.

And with that cryptic comment, Kensuke beset the tired pilot with a bevy of questions, stories, jokes, and other quips to keep the two occupied well past the sun setting. Kensuke apologized for Touji, but said the jock would want to apologize in person too. And quite despite himself, Shinji enjoyed the company, enjoyed the time with this boy, and a small friendship was born out in the woods by the tiny fire.

X-X

Sitting on the couch, tub of ice cream in her lap and a large plastic cup of rum and coke to her right, Ritsuko Akagi was not having a wonderful time. One of her cheesy B-horror movies playing on the television, she proceeded to destroy her frozen treat and bash her brain in with alcohol. "I should have known this would happen, should have fucking knew it," she moaned and bit hard into the metal spoon.

She had left the lights off, the movies worked better in the dark, even if it was a cheesy zombie movie. Her cup, half filled with rum the other a cheap generic coke, had a strong taste to it, but she masked the bitterness with ice cream. Now most drinkers find it bad to mix dairy with booze, Ritsuko didn't care. She was ruining a child's life, and potentially dooming the entire human race!

"What was he thinking bringing Shinji-kun here! He should have known better…should have known I would do this," Ritsuko took a large chug of her drink. The movie was only in its opening twenty minutes, but she was almost needing a refill. How long…how long until her horrid past sent the man she loved away, she didn't think it would be long.

The door opened, she could hear that over the canned scream of the doomed protagonist on screen. "Leave the lights off," she said loudly and set her spoon back in the tub. He'd question her, ask her what was wrong, and try to help. She loved that about him, stupid gullible lug. But she didn't want him to pity her, feared he stayed simply out of pity, and that wasn't what she wanted. "Leave them off," she muttered and wasn't upset by the sudden intrusion of their energy efficient bulbs flickering to life.

Taking his customary seat at her side, Kaji kept his mouth shut for a few minutes and just soaked in the scene. "Bad day?" he eventually asked after a second hero failed to survive the zombie apocalypse. His arm, with painstaking slowness, wrapped around Ritsuko's shoulder and held the woman gently. "I told you, you're not responsible for anything that's happened," he punctuated his statement by kissing her temple.

"Of course not, I just scared the living shit out of him. Drove him from not only the apartment but Nerv in total. All because I can't think of a way of actually communicating with him, no not my fault at all," Ritsuko sniffed loudly and put another spoonful in her mouth. If she had to blame anybody, Ritsuko blamed her mother for more than just a few problems with her life. "God, Kaji, I'm doing the same thing to him that she did to me…what the hell is wrong with me?" she almost knocked her cup over reaching for it.

Taking both the booze and ice cream away from Ritsuko, Kaji set them on the coffee table in front of the television. "Hun, this is just a defense mechanism he has! It would have happened eventually even if you were the happiest person in the world. He's not leaving, he's just getting his head together is all. Don't blame this shit on yourself, you're too good for that," he gave her a good hug.

Grabbing a hold of the man's shirt, Ritsuko clung to him and half laughed cried against his chest. Good? What good was she really? She wasn't half the scientist her mother was, nor half the woman. But that little fact made Ritsuko sickly happy. Momma went and fucked the wrong man and got killed for it. How Rei fit into things, Ritsuko needed to know, and her mother's journal made it painfully clear the albino had something to do with it. No, Ritsuko was just a glorified system administrator that got lucky with landing the man she adored. Funny how Ritsuko didn't see how closely she did mirror the boy she believed she drove away.

"So what happens if we need him tomorrow, or the day after and he's still getting his head together, as you aptly said. What if an angel attacks tonight, but our only pilot is off collecting himself from the damage I inflicted?" she pushed herself away to get a good look at Kaji's distinguished features. Kaji was a near perfect liar, but Ritsuko knew more than one of his tells.

"Then Mion will bring him back in," Kaji said effortlessly. "I called back everybody but Mion. Thought she'd be the best one to keep on him in case of emergencies," he further explained as he paused the movie. Scene wasn't particularly pleasant, a woman being bitten in the neck with a glorious blood spray, the effect was the living room was bathed in red light. "She's been following him since yesterday. Says he's been wandering town. Walked past the school a few times, slept in a movie theatre last night, and is with one of those boys right now. He's safe, and so are we," he patted her shoulders

Letting out a deep sigh, Ritsuko had to hand it to Kaji for always being one step ahead. One agent could move around a lot easier and quieter than a whole platoon of them. But why Mion Sonozaki? Was it a favor she was doing for Kaji, or were they seeing each other on the side. Mion was attractive, Mion was fun, Mion was a lot like Misato…

No best not go down that avenue of thought right now, her alcohol addled brain reinforced. Mion was also considered borderline insane by most people that got to know her. Switching from flightily and fun to down right frightening then next, Mion kept the crew guessing. "Why Mion, Kaji…aren't you afraid she might…I don't know, snap or something on him?" she asked with a small shine recovering in her eyes. Having the fear of instant annihilation removed did wonders in recovering her mood.

Picking up Ritsuko's cup and taking a drink himself, Kaji winced as he set the cup back down. "Made it strong as shit tonight, hun," he told. "As for Mion, couple reasons really. One I like the idea of an attractive woman watching Shinji's back. Two she's crafty as an old man so she'd see a trap coming. And three, when shit goes down that woman can scare the shit out of grown men, myself included," he grabbed the nearly empty container of vanilla ice cream. "What did you say to me the last time you polished off one of these on your own?" he favored her a half smile.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was because they hadn't in a while, but Ritsuko felt a powerful desire for the man at her side. "Said I'd need you to help me work off the calories," she reached up and started unbuttoning Kaji's shirt. "I'm sorry for being like this, Kaji, you're a real prince for putting up with somebody as messed up as me," she pulled the shirt open.

His hand trailing from her shoulder down to her parted legs, Kaji just tilted his head. "You did eat an awful lot, going to need a lot of exercise to work that off," his hand slipped past her clothing with practiced ease. "And don't feel sorry, babe, you're a complex and wonderful woman, I'm glad things turned out this way for us," he leaned in and kissed keeping her from contradicting him.

She let him grab her, hold her hands away from her body as they slowly began what they hadn't done in three plus weeks. Her fears alleviated for the moment, she'd deal with her problems with Shinji when he came back. Assuming Kaji was right, and she had no reason to doubt him. Breaking the kiss, her breathing labored, "You never did…tell me why…you knew he was going to run off…"

Stiffening, Kaji's hands suddenly pulled away from Ritsuko's perky breast and dampened panty. "I uh…to be honest…I went off on him the night before he ran off," Kaji's head hung low, a scolded dog. "I was having a real bad day, Tenkawa-san called to say he's disappointed in my latest reports. Shinji came into the bathroom while I was shaving, startled me and I nicked myself. I tried joking with him about if he was excited about going back to school and the women that would be waiting for the returning hero. He apologized for scaring me, and put himself down again…and I just…kinda snapped at him. Nothing major, but yelled a bit, saw the look on his face and knew it was the last straw," he turned away from Ritsuko, back towards the still framed screen.

A small nasty part of Ritsuko loved it. Even Kaji could screw up and make a mess from time to time, it wasn't just her. She'd never admit to it, but Kaji's confession made her happy. "Well if the great Kaji-sama can do some damage, I guess mine can be over looked this time too," she drew his face back to hers. The fire was still there, and she could see Kaji's tented pants, it was going to be loud in the apartment very soon. "And don't worry about Tenkawa, I have some new data from that garbage Fuyutski wants me to work on that will make up for it," she capitalized on Kaji's shock by pouncing.

It was exactly what she needed to get her mind off her problems.

X-X

Her life, if you could call it a life, was far from normal, but Ayanami Rei had nothing to compare it to. Eat, sleep, and Nerv were the three staples of her life, and that was all her life was. Her wounds from the botched test with Unit-00 were all healed, leaving room for those smaller but somehow nastier ones to start returning. No matter, it was also a part of her life.

Her alarm clock sounded, it was worthless as she was always up before the thing rang. Rei quickly donned her school uniform and ate a small bowl of lettuce for breakfast. Her mind was occupied however, with strange thoughts she was perplexed by. The day before, right before she went to synchronize with the dummy plug for the first time since the accident, Ryoji Kaji spoke to her again.

The commanders were adamant Rei be careful around him, and as ordered she did so. She couldn't question her orders, not if she wanted to continue to draw breath. Something He never let her forget. It was the price of continued living, service. Kaji was a dangerous man, she had to be leery of what he said. But his comments about the Commander's son were perplexing.

The bland breakfast was quickly finished, the bowl dumped into the sink for later cleaning. Gathering her school supplies, an empty satchel that was never filled, Rei cared little for homework anyway, she stepped out of her apartment and left the building unlocked as usual.

_Kaji-kun said Ikari-kun hasn't left Nerv. He claims Ikari-kun will return. _What that meant to Rei, she hadn't the foggiest, but Kaji kept reminding her that it was Shinji that saved Rei's life, and nobody else. Kaji kept saying Shinji kept her from further pain, kept her from being slain in combat due to her weakened body. His cryptic comment the day before left her mind clouded.

"You know what they say about the life you save, you're responsible for it for the rest of that person's life. So Shinji's responsible for you Ayanami. Why not let him take responsibility a little…get to know him. Boy is a good kid, you two might get along."

What did Kaji mean by that? Rei didn't worry to much about it, but in her off hours, and those were many, she allowed the thought to come back. Was Kaji insinuating the two of them should couple, that Rei should in trust her life to the Third Child, or was it simple stated to cause this confusion.

Stepping out of her building into the early morning streets, Rei paused briefly and showed a brief glimpse of the humanity she possessed by blinking rapidly. "Ikari-kun?" she stated confused at seeing the boy walking towards her in dirty and torn clothing.

"Oh Ayanami…you live here?" the tired looking boy asked mildly shocked. "Didn't think anybody lived in this part of the city, it's so run down," he gestured to some of the more dilapidated buildings.

Nodding once, Rei hoped Shinji's visit was truly a coincidence and not the start of yet another required service. It would make her late for school, and she was still to tender for such activities as she told Him last night. "I was told you were returning by Kaji-kun, is that true?" until she could pilot and replace him it was imperative he stay. Even after she was better it would be for the greater good that he remain.

Her increased heart rate agreed wholly with that statement, her mind however was bothered and annoyed.

"I guess Kaji-san knows me pretty good," Shinji said more to himself than to girl before him. Averting his eyes from the piercing red eyes boring down him. "And yeah I'm going to start going to school again tomorrow, and I'll probably see you at Nerv tonight. That is if Ritsuko-san doesn't punish me again," he said bashfully. "I see they took the sling off your arm…is it feeling better?" he sounded unsure worried at what he asked.

Flexing her fingers, Rei made a fist to show her healed arm. Turning down the road, Rei started walking. Either the boy would follow or not, no real issue for Rei. Would he be making visits, what it be different than with Him? Rei did owe Shinji her life, and that debt was needed to be repaid, as she was conditioned to believe. She could hear him walking slowly behind her, halting half steps but she knew he was there.

"A-Ayanami am I bothering you?" the lad asked over the crisp morning air. "I could walk a different way if I am, but you seem…" he trailed off unwilling to say another word regarding her.

Not once breaking stride, Rei stated the obvious as normal, "Your precious does not impact me at all." That wasn't the total truth though, he did annoy her to a small degree. He was a smear on her normal existence, he was a new creature to interact with and until she knew how to do so without hindrance it would remain. And those insipid words from Kaji kept coming back to make her question.

Ikari had saved her for no reason other than kindness. Ikari stayed to pilot for her, for no reason for himself. Ikari broke the main rule Rei had for living. Nobody did anything for free. Everybody did things for a reason, everything had to be paid for in some way or another. He made her pay for living with compliance and silence…would Ikari eventually prove true to her reality or was the liar to be believed…could this one boy have actually done his deed purely out of goodwill?

Rei didn't want to believe it, so she wouldn't. In silence she continued to walk to school. Twice Shinji tried starting a conversation, both of which she just nodded or shrugged. Eventually he stopped trying, and blissful silence returned. Three blocks later Shinji said goodbye and headed off towards his apartment, she continued to school. She felt the odd stares and glares of the other students, but didn't care about them. She had no reason to care, no point to care for anything. Just eat, sleep, and Nerv.

X-X

Walking into the door of the apartment, his mind still perturbed by the odd conversation with Rei, Shinji couldn't help but smile at his welcome. Two very anxious cats were borderline fighting each other to be the first to great him. Luna won by jumped on top and using white cat as a spring board into Shinji's arms. "I missed you guys too," he murmured and rubbed his nose against Luna's.

"Did you forget something Kaji?" Ritsuko called out rushing to the door, her robe discarded on her way to the shower, she stood topless but not bottomless before her teenage ward. "SHINJI!" she yelped and covered her exposure with her arms. "W-what are you doing…here?" she sounded as confused as she looked.

Turning his back to the stunningly attractive woman, Shinji' eyes almost popped out of their sockets. He had suspected that the typically conservatively dressed woman was well endowed, now he knew it for a fact. "I uh…uh…well you see…I c-came back…is that ok?" if she didn't hate him already, seeing her topless wasn't doing him any favors.

Hissing as she drew in air, Ritsuko rushed off to grab the nearest shirt she could find. Returning to the door with one of Kaji's white collared shirts hastily thrown over her head, Ritsuko was anything but calm and collected. "Sorry about that, Shinji-kun. I just wasn't expecting you to come back this early and Kaji left about five minutes ago. I-I-I was on my way to take a shower when you came in and…I'm babbling aren't I?" she grabbed at her head dramatically.

With slow and deliberate motion, Shinji turned back to see the now clothed doctor. Luna still held protectively against his chest, his fingers ran at the ridges of the cat's ears earning him a very loud purr. "It's ok Ritsuko-san, I uh…should have said something when I came back in," he didn't know why he was apologizing, but he knew he was blushing like a fool. Real people looked a lot more attractive than any image on paper or computer ever did. "D-did you want me to leave?" he gave Luna a bit too tight of a squeeze and the cat jumped out of his arms and sauntered to her food dish.

Leaning heavily against the dividing wall, Ritsuko's shoulders sank as her forehead scrunched together forming deed ravines. "This is your home now, Shinji-kun. Both Kaji and I want you to stay with us for as long as you want to. I'd question why you came back, but that's none of my business," she turned herself showing Shinji her backside but not intentionally. "I'd offer you some breakfast, but neither Kaji or myself have been cooking anything since you ran off," her head dropped the moment she said that.

Shinji caught it, what Ritsuko regretted saying. It was a thinly veiled accusation. Was she being cruel or not, was left to Shinji's imagination, but the words were clear as day for him. 'You selfishly left.' Taking his shoes off, acting much like the doctor, Shinji refused to face her direction. Finding the collection of shoes for casual and exercise more interesting, "I'm not that hungry. But if you want I can make something small for you while you take your shower." When in doubt bribe or provide…maybe she'd not talk to him if he kept her mouth full.

Her rumbling stomach answered for her. "I uh…if you want Shinji. I swear Kaji as going to hunt you down today if you didn't show up. I can go awhile without food, that man however I think is all stomach," she smiled wistfully to herself. Moving quickly from the door back to the waiting shower, Ritsuko half tripped on one of Kaji's misplaced shoes and almost fell. Catching herself with the wall, her face was a noble scarlet. "I'll leave some how water for you, looks like you could use a hot bath yourself," she called as she retreated.

Waiting a few moments to allow the woman to find safety in the bathroom, Shinji headed to the kitchen to make a small meal. "Thank you, I think I really could. I ache all over," he confessed, a testament to sleeping on the hard ground. Gathering all the needed components to cook, the boy felt the all to familiar sense of foreboding coming back. Alone with Ritsuko, hopefully she'd go to work after eating or something. Anything but stay around him, after that little wake-up call, he was ready to crawl in a hole and hide.

That was until…

Opening the door a crack, Ritsuko peeked her head out, "Shinji…I'm glad you came back, Kaji will be too. We both missed you, even if it was just a few days. We're happy to have you here," her face was laden with confusion and uncertainty but the tone was honest. Shutting the door again, Ritsuko took her shower.

Shinji…Shinji felt a small warming in his chest. This was home, his teacher's place had just been a building, but here…he could lie to himself and believe it'd be different. It was easy to do, he so wanted to believe it anyway. Here was home, and the people he lived with might actually care.

X-X

Notes

Like I said this will be a lil bit darker than my other stuff so…brace for impact and get the mind ready for this shit! Anyway…hope you enjoyed despite the slowness of the pace. It'll be picking up soon.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	4. Chapter 4

Yeah it's a little sudden to get the next chapter of this but…I really wanted to get this one out. Don't worry it was doing during the week so I can get the next What We… out this week too…but I really felt the need for this one. You'll understand after its complete…some of my reviews always have to be ONE CHAPTER TO SOON

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 4

For a change, Ritsuko actually thought things were going a bit better for her and her flatmates. A full week went by without her having scared, yelled at, or otherwise rattled Shinji in anyway! It was small progress, but any progress was a godsend. It was a tiny mark of pride in the scientist that the boy didn't immediately vacate the room she was in if they would be alone together. They didn't talk much, mostly like computers, that being data only no needless communication, but they did talk a little.

Shinji even surprised her by watching one of her movies with her the night before, Kaji had been called by his government contact and left for the night. A full night of just them, small almost normal human conversation, but the alcohol helped a little. What bothered Ritsuko the most was the fact that Shinji called the end of the 'faux documentary' well before she remembered doing it herself the first time she watched it.

Now sitting the long way across the supper table from the boy, Ritsuko wasn't quite as intimidated by him. Kaji being around did calm Shinji down, her beau did have that affect on others. Sampling the meal, curry, Ritsuko wafted the pungent smell to her nostrils before depositing the delicacy in her mouth. "Spicy, just the way I like it, good job," she winked at the lad and was shocked to see him smile back.

Pouring his helping of curry into a waiting cup of ramen, Kaji licked his lips in anticipation. "If you got her gold-star I can't wait to get a bite," the man's voice was chipper and upbeat as always. Stirring the mixture thoroughly, Kaji stopped when both sets of eyes fell upon him questioningly. "What? This is the best way to get real curry flavored ramen, didn't I teach you guys this trick before?" he questioned before slurping up the noodles.

Giggling despite himself, Shinji just shook his head. "I don't think you have. And I don't think I've seen anybody eat ramen like that before either," Shinji critiqued and fell comfortably back against his chair. "You seem to be in a real good mood today too, Kaji-san. Did something good happen at work to keep you there so long? I almost didn't think you'd be here for supper," the boy asked as he reached down to sneak a treat to the little beggars.

"Keep doing that Shinji and they'll get fat," Ritsuko said without missing a beat. She could tell he was feeding her ungrateful felines, wondered if that was why the adored him so much. "And yes, Kaji, do tell us why you never came home last night and why you were at Nerv all day?" she peeked with one open eye at the man. They had all left Nerv after a synchronization test together, planned on sharing the movie experience, but Kaji just left. Normally he'd call her when he was going to be late, the spy game played horribly on her nerves after all.

Winking twice with his left eye, the signal they chose to signify it was time for play-language, Kaji slurped up more food. "Tenkawa-san really kept me late last night. He was ecstatic to see those documents. Seems those chemicals are used in artificially aging human cells. Slept on his couch while he finished going over every damn thing you got me, really got him off my back," Kaji leaned over and kissed the frazzled woman on the cheek. "After that I had my morning shift, and get this! Motoko actually has a date!" the man almost fell out of his seat laughing.

It made her day to know she helped Kaji, really gave meaning to her life. Helping him made it feel like she wasn't just taking from him, that she was contributing something other than a warm body filled with problems. "Well I hope he didn't pay for this one, news says 'pay-dates' are back on the rise," she let out a single half laugh and chased it with some barley tea. "And since we're on social topics, how are things going for you at school?" like Shinji, Ritsuko felt more comfortable talking to the other while Kaji was around to smooth over any rough ground.

Chewing on a particularly spicy piece of carrot, Shinji nearly chocked at the sudden attention. It took a big gulp of water and Kaji's back patting to make the unruly vegetable submit to destruction via stomach. "I uh…I called in Touji's favor today," his face red from the near strangulation or humiliation. "I said something to embarrass Ayanami so I tried to make her laugh…stuck my finger up his nose and made a silly face. A lot of people laughed…" he didn't continue.

"Long way to go for somebody that punched you day one," Kaji grabbed and shook the boy's shoulder. "Proud of you, our little social caterpillar is becoming a butterfly as we speak. Next you'll actually be talking to her or one of the girls that actually laughed," Kaji congratulated. Favoring himself a soft drink, he took a mighty chug to wash the spice away. "Or has the cold and aloof Ayanami already burrowed a way into your sites?" he winked playfully.

Alternating between Ritsuko and Kaji, Shinji had the looks of somebody about ready to run. "It's not like that, really," he clarified as he picked at his almost empty plate. "I don't know her that well. I only really talked to her once, besides the comment today…said she'd be a good mother," his face did garner some additional crimson. Kaji's and Ritsuko's laughing didn't help. "A-and yesterday during the test I saw her talking to my f-father…she actually looked almost happy," he set his chopsticks down, the rest of his food would go uneaten.

Thumbing her nose, Ritsuko wasn't to keen on the commander, but he got the job done. "I can't say I know Ayanami much myself," she didn't know if she hated or was afraid of the girl. Her mother's notes were sketchy on Rei, but they weren't happy. "But she does appear to get along well with Commander Ikari, not so much Fuyutski though," Ritsuko couldn't recall a single time Rei even spoke to the Sub-Commander. As she thought of the peculiar girl, a memory came flaring to life, "Oh speaking of Ayanami I'm going to have to get her new ID to her before the activation test tomorrow…just don't know when the hell I'll get around to it," she moaned. Why Fuyutski had given it to her of all people to get to Rei was beyond her.

Whether it was a sudden desire to do a favor for Ritsuko or the wish to talk with Rei, the doctor was left to guess, but Shinji's head peeked up. "I-I could give it to her. At-at school tomorrow I can give it to her," he tentatively reached out and snatched up the badge Ritsuko dropped on the table. Holding the card reverently in his hands, he gazed questioningly at the picture, "Maybe I can apologize again for making her uncomfortable."

"What if she's not at school, Shinji-kun, she is known to miss from time to time," Kaji asked from behind the rim of his can. His features were honed and reading Shinji's every move for any body language that could give the lad up. Setting the can, now empty, down with a small 'tin', Kaji let out a mighty belch, "We could get you her address I guess. You could pick her up on your way to Nerv if all else fails."

"I-I know where she lives already," the boy squeaked out. Cringing back as both Ritsuko and Kaji leaned in with sudden unexpected zeal, he dropped the badge back on the table. "When I ca-came back last week, I came in from her side of town. S-saw her leaving her building heading for school," he finished his water and started gathering plates. "So…if I have to be at Nerv so early tomorrow and the test isn't till seven or so…what can I do there?" he asked with all the telling of somebody pleading to change the topic.

Was he developing feelings for Rei, or was it just human curiosity. Ritsuko was actually interested to know. Shinji had all the signs of somebody that would have issues with relationships, but if he was interested in Rei that would be a site to see. "I'm going to go swimming myself as we wait, you could bring a suit with you," she offered off handedly. He was an interesting boy when Ritsuko didn't have to directly interact with him. The way he went about life trying to please everybody and offend nobody. Constantly afraid of reprisal…reminded her painfully of herself before Misato and Kaji entered her life.

Taking the plate from Kaji's outstretched hand, Shinji's sighed. "I can't swim…I don't think humans were meant to float," he averted his eyes from Ritsuko. His feat shuffled dejectedly as he moved to the kitchen.

"Well Ritsuko does have a heads up on you with her built in floatation devices though, doesn't she Shinji," Kaji called jokingly. His head pulled back to catch sight of the boy's back. The sound of dishes not being placed but dropped into the sink was the response from the kitchen. "You ok in there Shinji?" Kaji turned to Ritsuko worriedly.

Rushing out of the kitchen and towards his room, face blazon, "I'm going to go to be early tonight. I'll get Ayanami her badge. Night!" His body was a human torpedo locked onto the solace of his room, and the safety of solitude.

Elbows propped up on the table, Kaji scrunched up his face. "That was odd, you think it was something I said? He's timid about girls and all but I don't know why mentioning my favorite pair would freak him out so much," the spy quipped and nearly jumped as Luna brushed up along his leg on her way to Shinji's room.

Pounding the table once, Ritsuko laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. "I…I…Oh god I can't talk…" her lungs couldn't keep enough air in them to say the words she needed to. Neither Shinji nor she mentioned the little show from Shinji's return home, but Ritsuko had no doubt what sent Shinji off with his tail between his legs. Taking three stuttering breaths, she finally got herself under control. "The day Shinji got back from his walk-about…after you left…" Ritsuko leaned in and whispered the rest in Kaji's ear.

The 'WHAT' Kaji screamed garnered the pair a warning the next day from management for noise volition.

X-X

Maybe he shouldn't have been so confident in wanting to help Ritsuko, Shinji reconsidered. The humidity was on the rise as he walking squarely towards the sun and Ayanami's apartment. She hadn't been at school, and that meant he was going to have to make a private visit to her apartment. Thankfully her address with apartment number was on the card, he knew the building just nothing else till he read it. He kept telling himself not to be worried or self conscious, he was just delivering her card. That was all, no ulterior motive.

"Why is there a car…" he muttered to himself as he finally made the last drive towards his first destination. He hadn't seen a car that was functional in blocks, and yet there sat a very expensive looking one right outside the door to Rei's place. "Is…is that…" he licked his lips and came to a stop. What if that was his father's car, what if his father was visiting Rei?

A flair of jealousy raged up inside him, deep and bitter like a long spoiled fruit. His father could visit Ayanami but he couldn't spare him two minutes for a phone conversation. Kaji's words that his father didn't deserve the affection he lavished on the man never felt truer to Shinji then they did at that one moment. But with his jealousy came fear. What if his father didn't want him to visit Rei or something?

Eyeing the alley adjacent to Rei's building, Shinji dashed inside amid the smelly trashcans and free flowing garbage. Bravery was overrated, and interacting with his estranged father wasn't something for today, maybe another day. For ten minutes Shinji hid behind a rusty trash bin, waiting and watching the car. Thoughts and worries about upsetting Ayanami again were flung from his mind, replaced with the dread of standing before his father.

When he heard the door open to the complex, Shinji sucked in his breath and his head became dizzy. Anticipation for seeing the back of his father's head, the burnt hands he had only once glimpsed, and hopefully nothing else.

But it wasn't his father he saw climbing into the car, that luxurious black classy car. It was the man that was always with his father, it was the sub-commander. Fumbling forward, Shinji bounced off the bin with his shoulder causing the contents to rattle and crash inside. Instinctually, the lad pulled back and drew close in on himself. He almost wet himself with a fear he couldn't rationalize.

"Somebody there? Hello?" Kozo called out taking large fugitive steps towards the alley. "Say something!" the older man yelled and took several more steps towards the dumpster.

_Please go away! Please go away! PLEASE GO AWAY!_ Shinji's mind begged and pleaded. He couldn't tell why he was so afraid though, just something deep in him stated it was best to stay hidden, away from anybodies sight for now. Surely the man would question why he had hid, ask him all sorts of questions, and likely not believe the answers. His eyes clenched, his body frozen in place, he nearly collapsed when he heard the car door shut, the engine kick on, and finally drive away.

"What the hell is wrong with me, he seems like a nice enough guy," Shinji said to himself. But even then something didn't sit right. Why would the sub-commander visit Rei? Baring that, why would Ritsuko say that the man gave her Rei's card if he was planning a visit the next day? "M-Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing…talking to her about the test today…yeah…" Shinji didn't like the distrust in his own voice.

Dusting himself off, the rust from the green dumpster was reluctant to release its hold it got from the humidity. His heart still racing in his chest, Shinji peeked out of the alley, only once he was sure the car was far enough away did he sneak out and rush to the door to the apartment. Stepping in, he had hoped to be relieved with some air conditioning, but no, not in that building.

The building, to Shinji anyway, appeared vacant. He knew better of course, but that was the only reason he ascended the steps to the fourth floor. "Well she has to be here or she'd have left with Fuyutski-san," he reasoned as he lightly rapped on the girl's door.

No response.

He knocked again, harder this time.

No response.

Mustering what was left of his waning courage; Shinji tried the door and miraculously found it open. "Ayanami-san, your door is open! I-I'm coming in!" he hoped his voice carried through the apartment. _This is too much for me! Just leave the card in her mailbox and be done with this!_ He wasn't ready to talk to Rei again, not after the disaster the last time had been and his mother comment.

Finding the mailbox overburden with junk mail and fliers however, Shinji groaned as fate had it in for him. "She'd never find it in that mess, she must not check it," he begrudged. Walking further into the blistering hot apartment, no A/C here either for the hot lad, Shinji was instantly assailed by a noxious stench. But it was a stench he recognized faintly from Kaji and Ritsuko's bedding, just on a level far more nauseating.

His little chat with Kaji after moving in, which left him red faced and embarrassed, had filled him in on a few things. A sock on the apartment door meant, take a walk because the two lovers were exploring a few things. It only happened once, and the smell of the sheets Shinji cleaned had been similar to the stench he smelled now. But that wasn't possible, no…Touji said Rei didn't have a boyfriend, Rei hardly talked to people.

"A-Ayanami are you in here?" Shinji called out again stepping past a large assortment of bandages and cast off tissue paper. The smell was mostly coming from that pile, a horrid combination of the bloody bandages and whatever excretion was on the tissues. Another thing Shinji noticed as he entered the only real room in the apartment was the slovenly state of it. Now he wasn't a clean freak, but he was sickened by what he saw.

Besides a stack of books in one corner, an impeccably kept viola, and a small dresser with some beakers and vials on it, Shinji found nearly no signs of life. Dirt and grim were everywhere, dust wafted in the air and danced in the light that streamed through the cracked window. "I'll just put it by…on that dresser," he swallowed hard and tried not to step on anything as he walked towards it.

Setting the image that had nearly captivated him the night before on the stand; Shinji was sidetracked by the fluids in the test tube and beakers. A small sparkling of the water in the beaker held a quaint majestic quality. Purity in a sea of dirt, clean and untainted amid the surroundings thrust upon it. "Does she not have any glasses?" he asked himself bending closer to inspect the tools that appeared so out of place.

His attention was instantly shifted however when a tiny speck of light blossomed into a full fledged beckon. The bathroom door opened, and there standing before him with only a towel draped over her shoulders, was the mysterious yet alluring First Child. Quite despite himself, Shinji noticed that Rei was in fact a natural blue haired girl as his eyes drifted low for the one thing Ritsuko did not accidentally show him. "A-A-A" he tried saying her name but his vocal cords locked up.

Her head tilted to the side in a bird like manner as Rei observed the intruder to her domain. A frown, tiny but present on her features was the only indication of her attitude towards the invasion of both privacy and residency. "Ikari," she said listlessly as she let the towel drop from her shoulders.

Taking blind steps backwards as Rei approached, Shinji expected what any teenager would upon stumbling upon a nude female. He expected physical retaliation, a scream, or anything else to show she was upset or angry. "W-what are you…A-Ayanami?" his voice was high pitched even for him as the girl continued to close the distance between them. "W-what was sub commander F-Fuyutski doing he-ere?" he drawled as he continued his backward stumbling. Yelping as he finally connected with something solid, her bed, Shinji fell back and a dust plumb erupted from the mattress.

"He was here for an appointment, I assume that is why you are here," the flat monotone voice hinted at something, something that might have been sadness. Sitting on her bed, Rei hovered over the prone body of the boy on her bed. "Am I correct?" her face was near inches from his, here red eyes boring down relentlessly on the male.

"NO!" Shinji's shrill voice echoed loudly in the tiny room. Watching Rei pull back in shock, the frown on her face twisting into a parody of confusion, Shinji felt faint. "I…your dresser…card…Ritsuko-san…she-she wanted me to give it to you…you're old one…ex-expired," he rolled to the side escaping the hovering child. "I-I'm sorry for barging in…door open, nobody answered…sorry," he gasped as he forced his weak legs to carry his body up to standing and rush to the hall to the door.

Sitting back up on the bed, Rei glanced over at the beakers and did see a new badge staring blankly back at her. "I see. Has it been tested?" she grabbed her discarded shirt and pulled it on as she spoke. Grabbing her nearly torn undergarment, she slid them on and grimaced as the elastic band was indeed broken.

He couldn't keep his eyes focused, his fingers tensed and un-tensed randomly and not in accordance to his wishes. Just what the hell did he stumble in on! Why did she hang over him like that, oh god the smell was getting worse. He had to get out, get out and think over this whole mess. Better yet he had to tell Kaji or Ritsuko…SOMEBODY had to know what the hell was going on, and it wasn't him. His thoughts went to dark places that made him want to wretch, but he had to be wrong. Things like that only happened on the TV show of the week.

"I-I don't know…I could wait for you at the doors though…if it doesn't work…let you in?" he tried to get his uncooperative lungs to force the words out, but they only came out in sudden bursts followed by silence. Every fiber of his being was saying something was horribly wrong, that he had to run. But if he ran…ran totally from this thing he might have found…who would put a stop to it?

He couldn't do that! Yes he was a coward, yes he was weak, but he wasn't that selfish. He could tell somebody, Kaji or Ritsuko would know more…would tell him the truth. Something like Kozo came to administer some medical test or something, something to explain what his over active imagination was making him think. "W-would that be alright Ayanami?"

Already buttoning her skirt, Rei nodded with an accompanying, "Acceptable." As the word hung limply in the air, she heard the door shut as Shinji vacated the room. "He did not come as He did…he came to give me my card and nothing more…" her frown lessened even more she almost looked bored, her lips a thin flat line. "That is acceptable," she grabbed her new ID and tossed the old away.

X-X

Running up to Ritsuko at the bay of computers, Kaji hadn't really expected a call from her, least of all one so perturbed. "What's up babe, the test is in about twenty minutes, and I was planning to watch it with the guys up in the command bridge," he huffed out wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. Damn complex had plenty of elevators, but it they were always going the wrong way when he needed one. It was Ritsuko's expression, one he so rarely saw, that put Kaji on edge, "Something wrong?"

Pointing at the monitor, Ritsuko gazed over Kaji's shoulder at Maya and the other techs. "You haven't told Shinji about those rumors about the commanders and Ayanami have you?" she kept alternating between Kaji and the monitor showing Shinji's worried face and a large mute overlay. "I know he could have heard if from just about anybody else on base, but I really doubt he's been talking to people besides you and I," she grabbed at her arms.

Waving at the boy, Kaji shrugged with growing worry, "No, why would I? I think that's a piece of shit rumor. Why somebody tell him and weird him out or something?" Kaji did think Shinji was a bit naïve, but to believe one of the commanders was a sicko was something else. Ritsuko's face paled further, and Kaji tried laughing through his discomfort, "That is it isn't it?" Oh God he hoped it was just a big joke.

Flipping the microphone back on, Ritsuko hovered over the monitor and lowered the volume. "Shinji-kun, tell Kaji the same thing you told me, don't leave out any details alright. I'm sure it's all a miss understanding, but just to be safe," she didn't sound very convincing.

Doe eyed and twitching with pent up nervousness, Shinji looked about as uncomfortable as he could get. "Well it's just I saw the sub-commander leaving Ayanami's apartment when I went to deliver her card. He-he was there for over ten minutes…I was hiding in the alley thinking it was my father," Shinji turned away from the camera and fidgeted in the entry plug. "A-after he left I went up to drop the card off, but she didn't answer the door so I went in to leave it someplace she'd find it. T-turns out she was in the shower…and it smelled really bad in there…but if she was in the shower when I got in…wouldn't that mean she was in it when the Sub-Commander was in there?" his voice cracked but concern edged out over his fear.

"Alright boss, I'll check into it and make sure your lovely princess is safe," Kaji winked at Shinji and flipped the volume back to mute. Putting his back to the camera, just in case Shinji had developed the ability to read lips and didn't tell anybody, Kaji rotated his head and popped his neck. "I don't see the concern, babe, so what if the old coot was at her place. She likely got in the shower or something after he left and Shinji just missed the time or something. And we know she isn't the most social creature so her place is just dirty I bet," Kaji would never admit it, but if Ritsuko wasn't around he'd have lived like a pig.

Standing with Kaji between her and the camera, Ritsuko put her palm to her forehead and shuddered. "Kaji…he gave me the card to give to her. Why would he do that if he was planning a visit? And Shinji didn't tell you the full story he told me. He said it smelled like our sheets in there. Could you go and just check it out while everybody is distracted by the reactivation test?" she put her hand pleadingly on his arm.

"If YOU'RE asking me to check out Ayanami I really don't have an option do I?" Kaji was visibly shaken. He knew his woman had an issue with Rei, at times Kaji thought she hated Ayanami. Leaning in and kissing her cheek, "Call me after the test is over so I know my time is almost up. And I'm betting this is all a big load of misunderstandings," oh how he prayed that was the case. Nothing would make the shit explode faster than learning one of the commanders had a thing for little kids.

With one last hand trailing down his back from Ritsuko, Kaji was off sprinting. His car, the ol' reliable piece of crap, was parked near the entrance ramp, and started with its typical gagging coughing rattle. Turning the stereo up loud, it helped keep his mind off the pure stupidity of what he was doing. "There is no way Shinji saw what he thought he did, no chance in hell!" but his hands were cold and clammy.

It made an odd sense his rational and darker mind whispered to him as he cleared the entrance ramp and hit the streets of the city. Who spent the most time with Ayanami? Kozo. Who was responsible for her medical records? Kozo. Who kept having Ritsuko assist him in testing odd things regarding Ayanami? Kozo. And who was the least likely person to suspect in such a sick thing? Kozo.

"Bullshit! I'm just buying into this shit because the old bastard is so secretive," Kaji crunched the butt of his last smoke between his teeth. His digging into Kozo's past wasn't very pretty either. Old man was a respected professor until he ran afoul one Yui Ikari, after that he quit his job at the university and joined with Gehrin. "This is just a waste of time," he muttered taking a large drag of his cigarette.

Slowing the car, it sputtered and crested to the side as one of the tires nearly blew out, Kaji put it into park right in front of Ayanami's building. "Wow…kid lives in a real shit hole," he whistled and spit out his cashed butt. Finding Rei's apartment number on a ratty ledger on an abandoned managers station, Kaji ascended the four flights of steps, not even bothering to check if the elevator worked. He half suspected the building was held together by a few million cockroaches holding hands.

"Let's get this farce over with quickly," he whispered. Pressing his back against the wall by the door, Kaji tried the handle and found the door unlocked. His blood was pumping now, this was the type of life he enjoyed living. Not the paper pusher, or meeting attender of his public face, but the do-or-die element of his real calling. With the suspicions about him already, if this turned out to be a bug hunt and he was caught? Well he'd have to run like a bitch to escape the hit squad.

Strike one came as he entered the apartment and the smell overwhelmed him. Gagging, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and covered his mouth and nose. "Oh fuck he was right about the damn smell," he dry heaved. Stalking slowly into the building, the moonlight cast an occasional beam through the clouds into the single window. Trying the light switch one of the three bulbs flickered to life, the other two remained dead.

Kicking at a large pile of bandages and cast off tissue paper, Kaji found strike two. "Please tell me the girl either has a boyfriend or is selling herself for designer purses like those kids on the news," he knew both were untrue. Pulling a baggy and pen out of his inner pocket and without directly touching them propped several of the tissues into the bag.

The one good sign was the lack of a condom…he could hope that whatever happened here was foreplay and that was it. Knowing Rei had just recovered from some mighty damaging injuries, Kaji would suspect Kozo smart enough not to push the envelope least he get caught. "This isn't good…if it is him…what the fuck does that mean then?" Kaji pocketed the evidence and moved deeper into the apartment.

Nothing else, not that the evidence he had and the witness weren't damning enough, gave any proof to a male visit. Hell Kaji didn't really want to believe anybody lived in the dive, let along a teenage girl. _I can't have her move in with us, Rits would never allow it. But what about the units next to ours? _He was already thinking three steps ahead. If it was true, and the depression in his stomach making him want to pee was adding credence to it, then Rei was going to need support from friends. Shinji was the only person that came to mind having read Ayanami's profile.

Kneeling by the viola, Kaji picked the instrument up and held it at arms length as if it were a viper about to strike. "Why are you so clean when everything else is so dirty?" he asked the wooden instrument. Flipping it on its back, Kaji found the inscription.

'From Kozo'

Strike three.

Setting the instrument back where he picked it up, Kaji backed out of the door after shutting the light back off. "Nothing is definite until this gets tested…but if it is him…" Kaji swallowed hard and ran off back to the waiting car. He didn't like what his conscious was telling him…mocking him with. He had brushed off the rumors, put no stock in them at all. If it was true though, he had turned a blind eye to it, and that meant Ayanami had been suffering under the sick bastard's hand for how long?

On his drive back to Nerv, he called a few of his loyal contacts. A quick test would damn or save him. It wasn't impossible that some thug found Rei and opted to 'date' her. Rei hadn't the social graces to know the difference from being a warm body and being an actual girlfriend. But deep down, Kaji knew the truth already. He made his deposit to his men in medical, gave them the mandatory hush money, and was back in the car in less than ten minutes. They'd have the news for him by daybreak thanks to Nerv keeping files on everybody.

As he drove back home, thoughts of the upcoming days were jumbled and panicked. Ritsuko called, the test was successful, Unit-00 was back on the roster! He said he'd let her know what he found out later, he didn't want Shinji getting nervous or anything without due cause. If it was a teenage lothario, it'd do the lad's pride a mighty blow. However, if it was true, Shinji had in fact saved the girl from untold horror.

Unfortunately fate had other issues to attend to first, the fifth angel crested the Tokyo-3 horizon at dawn.

X-X

A strange day and a half indeed had transpired for the young Ayanami. Finding herself unnerved when Shinji's shrill scream reverberated out from the feed from the entry plug hadn't been anticipated. Why she cared at all was a mystery to her, but somehow she had actually been worried after the initial attack. When Ritsuko informed her that the pilot had indeed survived but would be incapacitated until later, Rei actually nodded and felt a sense of relief. Odd how those emotions that never get used fight to resurface from the places they hide.

Better news came just after she was freed from her own entry plug, having used her Eva to steal the rifle for the nights attack. Kaji had been the proponent of this news, and a hand written letter from the commander confirmed it. Kozo had been apprehended by security and was currently in the detention cells. While Rei didn't put much stock in Kaji's recounting of things, it was Gendo's note saying Kozo had over stepped his bounds and was to be severely punished that made Rei…feel.

Her coping mechanism had been hard and sturdy, but now it was fracturing. She felt so many things that it made her wish to never feel anything. Anger for being abused and lied to by Him. Hatred for the things he made her do, playing that damn viola, touching his flaccid member with her hands, and for his own use of his fingers in places not meant for him. But at the time she was under the false impression that Kozo could terminate her life if he so saw fit.

But the feelings, those mysterious and bothersome things, weren't all bad. Miraculously she felt relief. It was over, those things she hated doing were no longer there. She was freed of the burden He had placed on her. Maybe the most confusing emotion she felt was thankfulness. That boy, that strange and curious boy, had ended something she had expected to have to deal with all her life. Shinji ended things before He could bestow upon her 'the gift' he had so been looking forward too.

In hindsight Rei was happy to have been injured as severely as she had been. It prolonged His wishes long enough to make it a moot point. But still…the hate for that man grew and intensified a hundred fold upon learning it was all for his own sick pleasures. No matter though, even though she disliked it immensely, it was over. Now it was truly just eat, sleep, and Nerv.

Oh and protecting Shinji during the upcoming mission.

Pushing the tray of food and new plugsuit towards Shinji's medical suite, Rei stopped. The squeaky wheel of the cart peeled out in anger upon its grinding halt, but nobody heeded its rage. _I owe him my life, if Kaji's words are to be believed. Now I owe him my freedom from Him. _She could scarcely fathom what that meant, truly meant. All she new was her stomach felt strange, her legs not quite their sturdy dependable self.

Pushing open the flimsy door, Rei found the source of her newfound joy sitting up in bed staring out the window. He hadn't noticed her, he looked deep in thought, and with the small infraction of time, she studied him. Shinji wasn't big or small, wasn't particularly handsome nor was he ugly, and he didn't know he was naked covered only by a thin sheet. "I brought you food. You'll need to eat before the mission," she quipped and extended the mission outline. "You are exposed," she mentioned as her noticed the sheet tumbling lower giving her a glimpse of tiny hairs.

Yelping and pulling the aforementioned sheet up to his armpits, Shinji's face matched that of the setting sun. "S-sorry! Sorry…I've been apologizing to you a lot lately," he solemnly stated. Picking up the detailed report, he idly flipped though it.

"Does my presence here bother you?" Rei asked in her normal tone, but her eyebrow raised a smidgen. "I could leave you to your food if that is the case," she didn't know what to say to him. She never cared about conversation before, but somehow she felt the need to say something, anything to convey the odd sensation in her. But those atrophied brain cells had no way of acting.

Setting the report down, Shinji fell back against his pillow, careful to take the sheet with him. "I would think you'd be…be bothered by me, not the other way around," he absently grabbed the tray of food off the cart. Taking stock of what was on it, sniffing the air above it, he grimaced and dropped it back on the cart. "I can't seem to do anything but embarrasses you, or bother you. Even now I almost flashed you," he closed his eyes and laid down.

Again hearing him talk, Rei wanted, pleaded with her intellect to unfreeze and come up with some words some phrase to convey her feelings. She failed, as everything she thought of saying didn't quite seem to be right. "That is incorrect. I am not bothered by you," was the best she could come up with. Bending at the knees, Rei grabbed Shinji's new plugsuit and tossed it on the bed. "The operation is to begin in under three hours. I suggest you get some rest," she favored him with a soft nod and left the room as quietly as she entered.

Walking to the changing rooms, she felt a new sensation. Frustration. Why had her mind locked up, why did she keep seeing Him when she tried to speak. Words had never had any real meaning to her before. Sure she'd have a nice meal with the commander now and again, but it was more her listening to him talk than talking back. Now that she wanted to say even the tiniest of words of gratitude, her lips remained steadfastly sealed.

Standing outside the locker room, Rei's frustration finally boiled over and she slammed her fist against the wall. "Such thoughts are pointless. My connection is to Eva, my purpose is Eva, and that is what I must concentrate on," the pain in her hand helped her concentrate. Sliding out of her clothing, Rei stopped as she held her plugsuit in her hands. Memories, visions, and hateful pinches from her failures to appease Him flooded her mind.

A lone tear streaked down her cheek as she tried to lock those hateful mental protrusions back in the box in her mind. She had no time for such weaknesses. She had a mission tonight, and she would not fail. Shinji would be protected even if it cost her life, she owed it to him anyway as he had already done the same.

X-X

Faster, must move faster, faster still damn it! Speed was the only thing on Shinji's mind after the Fifth Angel was left sitting with a hole in its center. Dropping out of his entry plug with reckless abandon, the pain that blossomed in his ankle was hot and blinding. Yet through that pain he forced himself to hobble at a steady trot to his goal, Ayanami's plug.

"Please be ok, please, please, please be ok," he chorused as the pain in his ankle mocked him. The night air was crisp and cool, a stark contrast to what the day had been. He could hear crickets chirping and the brief glimpse of fireflies as he traversed the sparse distance between start and finish. His mind didn't register the simple majesty of nature, no it was highly tuned on the fact Rei had taken a good piece of that attack without protection, and fell silently to the ground after.

Kaji had informed him after Rei gave him his new plugsuit, informed him of what happened while he slept. Shinji could NOT let it end that way for her. Being put through something as bad as that only to die the same day as her liberation, if God existed she couldn't be that cruel. Unable to slow himself, the boy didn't stop but plowed into Ayanami's plug and dropped to the ground for the briefest moment.

Like a cork in water, Shinji shot back up to his feet as if he didn't just face plant into the metallic structure. His fingers danced against the entry panel entering the command to force the plug open. With a hiss the hatch burst open and a trickling, far less than it should have, LCL leaked out and pooled at his feet. Hoisting himself up, Shinji peered in without so much as breathing.

There she lay, head leaning against her chest, she looked asleep with one hand dangling on her side the other on her chest. "Ayanami! Ayanami say something," Shinji cried as he climbed deeper into the plug. The image of Unit-00 standing defiantly in front of him bathed in light refused to vacate his minds eye. She made no sign of life, nothing to signify she even heard him. Sliding his arms under her around her, her back to his chest, Shinji drug the unconscious girl from the plug and laid her as gently on the ground as he could.

She wasn't breathing. No simple rise and fall of her chest, that damn simple thing we always take for granted. For a moment, one mind shattering moment, Shinji panicked thinking she was dead. Bathed in moonlight her pale skin shimmered and seemed to glow.

"NO!" he screamed and put one fist just below her breasts and the other on top of it. It could NOT end that way! He wouldn't allow whatever killer god existed to take her yet! Pushing down hard and in a steady rhyme, he performed basic resuscitation techniques. Again and again he pressed, Rei's body bouncing against the ground with each push.

Then, like a mighty volcano, Rei erupted with the no-longer oxygenated LCL that had been clogging her lungs. Her eyes fluttered open, dazed and disorganized, her head wobbled around as consciousness returned to her. "I am…alive?" she propped herself up with her hands and saw her savior gazing back at her with tear lined eyes. "Ikari-kun?" she breathlessly asked.

He didn't care that Rei expelled her used LCL on his head, he didn't care about smelling like blood, because he only cared about her eyes being open. "Ayanami, you're alright!" he whimpered and fell backwards and sat heavily in the grass. His face split open with a relieved smile, "I was so worried you died. Y-you can't say goodbye before a mission like that…it-it makes me worry," he sniffed hard and ran his arm under his arm to get the cast off mucus.

"I apologize, but I do not know how…how to feel right now," Rei said with growing frustration and confusion. "You are crying, is it my fault?" she reached out and caught some of the liquid on her palm. Drawing her hand back she gazed upon the smeared excretion.

She was safe, just as odd as ever, but she was safe and alive. "I'm crying because I'm happy you're ok, Ayanami. And you can feel whatever you want to, just do what feels natural," oh how he wanted to give her a hug, something to convey his joy at her surviving being a living shield. But his fear prevented such an action. She was a stranger to him, one he wanted to befriend notwithstanding, but until he was sure it wouldn't offend her…well his arms would remain on the ground supporting himself.

Closing her eyes, Rei was a statue, a humanoid sized doll, and then in one brilliant moment she smiled. It lasted a whole five seconds before fading from a true smile to that of just upturned lips, but it had happened.

Shinji was too stunned to comment, such a show of emotion wasn't expected, welcome, but still unexpected. Helping Rei to her feet, the two stumbled to the approaching recovery team. They had won the day on multiple fronts, and it was time to rest, recuperate, and begin healing.

X-X

Authors Notes

I guess my attempt at masking the real culprit failed miserably. Everybody instantly assumed it was Gendo when I was trying to guide you all to Kozo. Well chalk that up to me not being good enough to convey things. Oh well. I had this idea burning in my head as soon as I finished the last chapter and did not want to wait a month to get to it. Hope you enjoyed it, despite the darker tones.

Anyway have fun and enjoy the rest of summer.

Update…shit just seems to like to piss with me for no real reason. As it turns out my apartments wiring is totally shit so my internet doesn't work. I had to load this chap on a flash drive, drive to a panara and upload it from there on my old laptop…so updates might be intermittent until this gets worked out. Sorry.

Ja-Mata!

Zentrodie

1(866) 594-1234


	5. Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimer

Well the pool is closed and the weather turning cooler. I like fall, but with no swimming it's a bit sad. Well I hope you all have good things going on. Personally my new role as an OO programmer is going well, if I can get the environment working correctly…stupid RSA. Anyway hope you enjoy this next chapter

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 5

He didn't know if he was relieved or angry that the old bastard was gone, but Kaji saw the hole at Gendo's side plain as day. "The dismantling of Fifth Angel is going according to schedule, sir. Unit-00 is still going to require a great deal of repairs though from that attack it took," he read from his report. Two weeks of sitting around and waiting to hear the fate of the sub-commander and Kaji wasn't happy with the eventual payload. It seemed far too lax for the crime.

"Pilot Ayanami has fully recovered from her injuries and has returned to school as well," Ritsuko added from Kaji's side. Opening her own folder, light reflected from the laminated parcel and illuminated her face with its band. "We'll be leaving for Tokyo-2 tomorrow to attend the Jet-Alone demonstration. And if it is acceptable we would like permission to stay an extra day, make for a total of three, for a small reprieve. We'll have our phones in case of emergency," her head tilted minutely in Kaji's direction as she stole a glance.

Reclining in his seat, Gendo fixed his glasses before adjusting his back for maximum comfort. "Approved on the condition that a VTOL be stationed nearby to airlift you back if the need calls for it," his bored reply lingered ominously in the room. Pushing the stack of papers on his desk closer to the pair, "Your request for change in housing for Pilot Ayanami is denied, however."

BULLSHIT! Kaji stomped his foot hard and advanced on Gendo's desk. "Sir, why would such a request be denied? Her apartment is in violation to every health code known to man! She's recovering from a life altering set of abuse and should be under closer observation!" he rallied. Turning to Ritsuko he gestured to his co-conspirator hoping she'd back him up. Something had to be done to better that girl's life, but why was the commander preventing it!

Clearly uncomfortable at the sudden attention, Ritsuko stalled by fixing her hair and coughing into her fist. "She's already broke three of the four therapists on staff, sir. She simply refuses to talk to them about anything. The reports they gave state she just sits there silently until the time is up and walks out. The only person we see her talking to is you and…the Third Child," she avoided Shinji's name as everybody did when talking to Gendo.

Nodding fiercely in agreement with the unspoken comment, Kaji was hoping to build the momentum into something Gendo couldn't deny. "She's going to need to open up to somebody eventually and I want Shinji to be there when she needs it," Kaji wasn't going to spare the commander the truth. Shinji was Gendo's son damn it, the bastard should acknowledge that fact if nothing less. In the short time he'd known Shinji, Kaji could see himself caring for the boy well after the angels were gone. "All I'm requesting is she be giving one of the open units on our apartment's floor. Just give her the option to talk to somebody if and when she needs it. Why deny her that?" he made a wide sweeping gesture with his hands.

Leaning closer to his desk, Gendo's eyes closed behind those dark glasses of his. For several tense moments he was a statue, seemingly not even breathing. "Agreed on the condition that Akagi assists the former sub-commander in working on the Dummy Plug," he opened his eyes and smirked as he tossed the ball back in Kaji's court.

That fire in his belly roared to greater intensity, but Kaji kept his cool. "That is entrapment, sir, and you know it. These two issues are unrelated," oh how he wanted to go further. Kaji wanted to rebel against Kozo's lack of serious punishment. House arrest and supervised access to the projects he championed was not enough pain for the sick old man. But humanity's continued existence didn't care for the actions the man took regarding one of its defenders.

Stunning Kaji, Ritsuko sighed, "I'll do it as long as armed guards keep that…man…from touching me or getting within five yards of Pilot Ayanami." Her head sunk, her body collapsing on itself, but her voice held a defensive pride in it. Spinning on her heels, casting her eyes over her shoulder at the men she added, "If that is all I'll go and get the move underway."

His hand shooed the bottle blond on her way, "That will be all for you Akagi-kun," Gendo kept his gaze squarely on Kaji. His left hand knocked on the desk in a rapid succession three times, soft yet noticeable. He didn't make a sound until he heard the open and close of his office door. "Are you prepared for what you must do at the presentation?" Gendo asked pulling out a small cloth covered parcel.

Taking said silk wrapped bundle, Kaji stashed it in his inside pocket. "I use the password in this to get passed security, find our contact, and give him the hacked OS," Kaji repeated his mission objective verbatim. He had studied the complex that was going to be used again and again. The perfect line of escape known, marked, and ingrained to memory. Playing both sides was dangerous, and tomorrow he would be playing for Nerv. Helping sabotage the competition wouldn't be easy, but he was up to it. The added reward of an extended vacation was nice too.

A thin smile crept across Gendo's face as he adjusted his glasses again. "You are displeased with something captain Ryoji?" Gendo's slick and smooth tone wafted through the air like a pungent stench. "Not having second thoughts about where your loyalties lie I hope," he stretched his arms out and knocked over the stack of papers regarding Ayanami's move.

"I just think the sub-commander got off easy for his crime is all, sir. If I had five minutes alone with him in a dark room, maybe then I'd be satisfied is all," Kaji opted for honesty. Why bother fibbing when you know the other party would know the truth. Kaji saw that girl, that odd and peculiar girl, and couldn't believe some old fucker would use his power over her to get some cheap sexual thrill. What made it worse was it had been Shinji that exposed it all and not him, what the hell kind of man didn't even try inspecting those damn rumors.

Spinning his chair around, Gendo stared blankly out the window. "Fuyutski is imperative for the defense against the angels. The projects he and he alone know are essential," the man's tone lost its casual edge and hinted at something people thought Gendo incapable of, remorse. "When the time comes though, if you play your cards right, something might be arranged for you. Now see to your mission," Gendo waved Kaji off without another word.

Following Ritsuko's path out of the office, Kaji didn't know if he had won or lost that round with the man. Rei was moving closer to him, but Ritsuko had to submit to something she loathed. Kozo still got off with a slap on the wrist, but, if he understood right, he was going to get a chance to relieve some stress in a room without windows with the old bastard.

"Just have to wait and see how this plays out," Kaji moaned as he approached Motoko who was still going on about his third date with this mystery woman. Idly, Kaji wondered if putting Rei so close to her only human contact was good for Shinji. The boy had his own issues with what Kozo did, but to thrust the victim in his face…maybe it was dangerous. _He's stronger than he things he is, and maybe this will be good for both of them._ Though Kaji was nefarious for second guessing himself.

X-X

Shutting his book, Shinji rotated his shoulder to work the kink out of it. Math was never his strong point, but with Ritsuko's occasional help he'd overcome his earlier problems. With supper sitting well in his stomach, he made a simple grilled trout, he let his mind wander. Kaji and Ritsuko were quiet over supper, Shinji didn't press. If they wanted to talk they would talk, if they wanted alone time Kaji could have just used the secret phrase they coined 'how about that drywall' and Shinji would have left.

But nothing came of the meal, he did feel bad about making Ritsuko leave the table though. He asked about Rei's move, they mentioned it to him before, and the woman abruptly stood up and walked to her shared bedroom. All he did was upset her, nothing ever changed in that regard. Kaji did confess that Rei's move came at a price that Ritsuko was going to have to pay. At that time he brought out his homework and let his mind focus on something that wasn't women and his failure at dealing with them.

It was a fleeting reprisal as Ritsuko emerged from her hiding only twenty minutes into his studies and joined Kaji on the couch. As he worked he heard a steady stream of Ritsuko typing on her laptop and the drone of the World Cup game playing on the television with Kaji's occasional commentary. It was off though, the two would joke and talk to each other, but not tonight.

Now the question the lad was faced with was did he retire to his room and music, or brave the chair adjacent to the television and share some time with the couple. Still not fully back to trusting Kaji as he did pre-runaway, Shinji was making strides towards it. Ritsuko, well Ritsuko was different, Shinji resigned himself to being tolerated by her. _I won't get better if I don't try…and Kaji-san would try. _

Dropping his books off in his room, Shinji took a deep calming breath and joined the pair. Taking his seat, Luna hoping up to claim his lap as Artemis crept around his legs, he grinned as Kaji cheered on the German team. Now did he try talking to them, actual initiate contact or just wait for the inevitable questions to come his way. He remained tightlipped his courage spent taking his seat.

"So good of you to join us, Shinji-kun," Kaji said after he sat back down. Taking a swig of his post supper beer, he let out a loud belly belch and rubbed at his stubbly chin. "We have some news you might find interesting about the next few days," Kaji turned the volume of the television down, it was a commercial anyway.

Saving her document, part of her new burden, Ritsuko set the computer on the coffee table. "Luna get down you pest," she batted at the cat that was purring loudly. After chasing not only one but both cats away, Ritsuko reclined and popped her legs up next to her laptop. "Kaji and I will be leaving tomorrow for three days to Tokyo-2 for Nerv business," she stole some of Kaji's thunder.

The warmth the cat generated was still phantom traces on his lap. A bit ashamed of it, Shinji did enjoy the vibrations from the purring cat, but would never say it. "Oh, d-did I need to go too? What is it for?" he hoped he wouldn't have to stay on base or anything while they were away. So many people there made him uncomfortable. They were all nice, it seemed, but as Kozo demonstrated even if somebody appears nice they might be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Waving his beer dismissively, Kaji fumbled a bit as the intoxicant wore at his brain. "Nah, you'd just be bored anyway. It's a conference from the JSDF and their soon to fail automated answer to the Eva's," Kaji wiped his spittle off on the back of his hand. "After that, Rits-chan and I thought we'd take a little vacation and sample the local flavor," he slide his hand over and grasped Ritsuko's shoulder playfully.

Shrugging off Kaji's none-to-subtle affections, Ritsuko sternly stared the man back down. "We just wanted to let you know about us being gone is all. If you were a normal boy I'd leave numbers for take out and ask you not have a big party here but…" she winced as her statement came out all wrong.

Crestfallen, Shinji didn't see the apologetic look on Ritsuko's face, his attention to the television. He didn't see the men kicking the ball around, he just tuned it out. "That's alright I know I'm a little different than the other guys. Kensuke and Touji can't even cook rice," he admitted. It wasn't his fault he was socially awkward, was it? He didn't try to better himself in the eyes of his peers, in fact saw no reason too. They didn't care about him, he didn't care about them, it was the perfect system. "So you'll be back Monday?" he asked figuring out the departure date.

Leaning against Ritsuko, Kaji saw her trying to repair the damage her casual dismissal of Shinji's social repertoire caused. "Monday evening as we'll have to report in to Nerv for a day of hell making up for all the missed time," he tried joking. His attention was diverted as he watched the checkered ball sail into the goal, "AND GERMANY GOES TO THE NEXT ROUND!" He got to his feet cheering and pumping his hands in victory.

A smile returned to Shinji's face at Kaji's over enthusiasm for a country so far away. "Why do you like Germany so much anyway Kaji-san?" his depression wasn't as great as it used to be giving to rapid recovery of mood. Kaji's infectious personality helped a lot though, gave Shinji a goal to aspire to, and an odd confidant and source of advice. Though Shinji still was too nervous to listen to Kaji advocate he use his status as pilot to get a little sampling of tail.

Reclaiming her laptop, Ritsuko's fingers stopped as Kaji's thrusting stopped. "We have a…branch of Nerv that's in Germany. Since Japan is already out of the tournament he's routing for the next chance we have at victory," her words where rehearsed, practiced, and lacked any real emotion. "And speaking of Germany, we'll be getting a new pilot and Unit-02 from them soon," Ritsuko's eyes never left her screen, they didn't move at all, locked in place.

Taking his seat again, a noticeable gap between Ritsuko and him, Kaji finished his beer. "Yeah, going to be meeting with the delivery fleet in two or three weeks for the trip. Now that is something I'd like you to come with me for. Hell you can bring those friends of yours with you for a little vacation of your own," Kaji stole fearfully glances at Ritsuko who continued sitting still and unmoving.

While he was no prodigy in the manner of judging atmospheres between people, Shinji could sense something was brewing between Kaji and Ritsuko. "Think I'll take a bath," he quipped as his go-to escape statement. He'd let them talk things out in private and hope it got better afterward. Seeing them together made Shinji feel good. The two had issues and fights at times, but they always got back together. It was miraculous in Shinji's eyes.

As he gathered his bathing utensils, Shinji's body froze as he heard Kaji let out a quick request that rattled Shinji's mind for the rest of the night.

"Oh and Ayanami is going to be moving in next door starting tomorrow. Why don't you invite her over while were gone. See if she'll open up to you a little. Hell you could help her unpack and move in maybe," the unshaven man said simply and easily as if he was talking about tying shoes.

Shinji's mind went into overdrive, and as much as he tried running from the idea of Rei and he talking it couldn't be denied. Over the last two weeks, Rei had actually spoken to him. Nothing grand or earthshaking for normal people, but for the girl that never said a word before to greet him and say good-bye…it left him feel odd and confused. No matter, things like that were often just the results of an overactive imagination. Nothing could happen, he kept telling himself that all night.

X-X

Not one to take to issues of pride very often, Ritsuko had the distinct feeling that Nerv was being mocked at the conference. Surrounded by tables laden with people, Nerv's representative's number two, Kaji and herself. The asininely huge table had a glut of booze well out of reach, not that she felt like drinking, but all pointed that nobody was taking Nerv's presence seriously. Well joke was going to be on them, Nerv was going to be the victor here if Kaji's contact proved legitimate.

"And with its power source being a nuclear reactor, Jet-Alone can run indefinitely. You'll not have a three minute window of operation here. No, you'll have an army that can go countless hours protecting our civilization," the commenter, a slim but haggard looking man by the name of Koji Kusinagi, took great pride in slamming the competition. "Remote piloted by a crack team, you'll also not have the fragile mindset of teenagers to add fuel to the potential fire," he snorted as he saw the two Nerv representatives. A woman and a dirty looking man, no contest.

She felt Kaji's breath, warm and moist, caressing her neck as he leaned in, but Ritsuko fought to maintain the air of dignity and poise. There would be plenty of time for celebrations later.

"Can I let into him now or what, Babe? I'm tired of this man's preaching and think we should knock him down a peg," Kaji rocked on his chair. Bouncing in his seat, Kaji had all the energy of the teenagers Koji mentioned. "It'll be so easy too, I won't go to far, but just suck some of the air out of his sails," he pleaded and breathed heavier.

_Damn him for knowing my weaknesses._ Ritsuko was a woman of simple pleasures, and Kaji knew them like the back of his hand. "Don't break him to hard dear, and remember to not expose yourself," she was glad he listened to her regarding such matters. He was such a loose cannon at times, Ritsuko expected one day he'd overstep his bounds, but if he kept listening to her maybe they'd both live through this.

Raising his and after getting the green light, Kaji's body radiated composure. "Kusinagi-kun, if I might interject?" he called out breaking the man from his sales pitch. After being recognized by the snide man, "Regarding your 'skilled team' and power source, do you honestly think those are points of pride and not issues we need to be worried about?" he offered simply and easily.

Koji leaned in closer to the mic as if he was hoping Nerv would try something. "If you're asking if I think having an extended time limit to face our enemies and being helmed by a team trained in such issues, then yes. It's far better than a tool that needs to be plugged in or stops after such a short time, and has a history of going berserk, much like a crazed woman, then yes. I say the Jet-Alone is perfect for fighting the Angels," he replied comically. Sure the room laughed at his mocking of Nerv, but when Kaji kept smiling a bead of sweet marred Koji's demeanor.

"Funny you'd say that, as I think that is why the Evangelion's are superior to your little remote controlled toy," Kaji took several steps closer to the podium. "What happens if the radio signal gets jammed or encounters interference? A few moments of delayed communication could mean your precious reactor gets a direct hit and explodes. Are your pilots ready for the unpredictable nature of the Angels? Can they adapt to things they can't see at a moments notice? Can the camera's accurately depict the indescribable nature of the Angels?" with each question Kaji took another step forward.

Shaking her head, Ritsuko leaned over the table and grabbed a bottle of wine. It was going to be a good show after all. Kaji was a master at breaking people down, mostly due to them not taking him seriously. Her lover was a coiled viper that people thought was a garden snake. Watching the JSDF spokesman cringing and getting flustered, Ritsuko felt pride in the points Kaji was using, as she was the one to find them and stress them. Just in the sexist world they lived in, the men would only trust other men and women were just their to take dictation.

Continuing with his verbal assault Kaji was almost on stage at this point, "And I'd rather have a hysterical woman fighting against a crazed monster than a computer geek that doesn't know the first thing about actual combat." Kaji stood directly in front of the man who was red with fury.

"WE" Koji shrieked as his emotions surged. Coughing and fixing his uniform the spokesman tried again. "We've planned for those contingencies, nothing could go wrong. I have the utmost confidence in our pilots abilities to overcome the issues you presented," but the room was now chatting and not favorably. Voices could be heard parroting the Nerv dog's questions and concerns. "This afternoon's presentation will prove everything I've said," he turned and gestured to the general to take the stage for the next part of the presentation.

Heading back to the table, Kaji's swagger was pronounced. "Do I get a gold-star?" he leaned in close to Ritsuko as he hung over his chair.

If they weren't in public she'd have kissed him, but due to decorum she lightly patted his cheek. "You do read my reports after all," Ritsuko tried sounding bored but it came out to energetic. The specks on the Jet-Alone weren't bad, in her opinion, they just left to much open to chance. She took pride in her work on the Eva's, and seeing the opposition throw their failures in her face, Ritsuko wanted to sink her teeth into the man, but had to relent. "But I think you may have gone a little too far. You might have made him make a mess of himself," she joked.

Taking his seat as the general on stage started talking about the afternoon's physical demonstration. Kaji sighed and hung his arms over the back of his chair. "Good, little runt needs to learn his place," he grabbed the glass of wine Ritsuko had poured for him.

Checking her watch, it was a little past ten, Ritsuko nudged Kaji's arm. "It's time for your trip to the bathroom," she got them man to start his operation. She needed the wine to keep her nerves under control. If Kaji got caught, it was game over for both of them. Thankful that Kaji's objective was just to get a man a disk, Ritsuko tried not to think about it. Letting her mind drift in and out of the presentation she found herself thinking of Shinji. What was he going to be doing for the next few days as they ate at fancy restaurants, drank a lot, and explored each others flesh? Whatever it was, she hoped it did the boy some good. He deserved it she thought.

X-X

Cleaning the apartment after the small 'party' he had, Shinji busied himself to ignore the feeling he was avoiding something. Said party consisted of Touji, Kensuke, and himself playing some games that Kensuke brought over and eating food Shinji prepared. They said he was obligated to have the little bash since it was Sunday and his guardians would be back the next day, Shinji thought they just wanted to see what his apartment was like. Everything went fine, that is until Touji found a bottle of whisky hidden in a cupboard.

Touji couldn't handle his booze for anything. So shortly after the whisky and coke combo was imbibed Kensuke was supporting the staggering jock out the door. It was a far cry from the 'party all night' that they initially planned, but Shinji was glad that the evening ended earlier. Their company was fun and enjoyable, but Shinji was just more of a private person that needed some alone time.

Shutting the closet door, the broom back in its trusty spot, Shinji couldn't help but notice the phone. Kaji had called that morning asking how Rei's move went, and unable to lie well Shinji told the truth. He hadn't heard a word from Ayanami nor had he saw to her move. She intimidated him, and not because of the recent events, simply put she was mysterious and attractive. A dangerous combination for a shy boy that put relationships as the furthest thing to care about.

Sure Touji and Kensuke had joked about Rei and him, they caught sight of Rei actually greeting Shinji the day before. They asked if he had set up the move to be closer to 'his girlfriend' and his blushing in response hadn't helped much. He couldn't tell them the truth, it wasn't for him to say. He wanted to be there for her in case she needed a friend, if he could call himself that he wasn't sure.

Filling the cats' water bowl, he scratched at Luna's head and tried to fight back the urge to visit his new neighbor. Being half past eight, he could lie to himself and say it was to late to visit, that she was studying or bathing, or any other number of things. But he had a lot of food left from the get together, and well…he wanted to know she was alright. Better he doubted, but at least recovering from what happened.

"Maybe I'll watch some television," he told the cats' as they descended upon the food and water dishes. Mindless drivel for sure, but television did help pass the time when nothing else was going on. It was to late for a walk, he regretted that small fact, but it would have to wait. His plans however abruptly ended when he heard the doorbell chime. His motion stopped instantly, hand poised to grab the remote just hung in the air.

It could have been Kensuke coming back to pick up something he forgot. Ritsuko did say she might send her subordinate over to check on him. A delivery man, mailman, religious fanatic, anybody, but Shinji had the sinking suspicion he knew what happened. Kaji might have made another call, but not to this particular unit. With agonizing slowness, he approached the door and cringed when the chime went off a second time.

"Hello?" he asked out stupidly as he grasped the handle of the door. Moving to open it, he found he hadn't unlatched it or worked the lock yet. "One-one second," he called to his mystery guest as he fumbled undoing the protective devices. And just as he hoped/feared his guest stood mutely gazing at him as he flung the door open. "A-Ayanami, how are you tonight?" he gestured for her to enter and stood out of her way.

Briskly passing Shinji, Ayanami strolled into the apartment with equal measures of poise and confusion. "I received a call from Ryoji-san to inquire to what you've eaten and he said I was to have you assist me in unpacking," Rei wandered deeper into the apartment that mirrored her own in layout. "Is this going to be an issue?" she stopped her advance to find her host standing behind her with his hands behind his back.

Did he curse Kaji to the thousand hells or thank him for forcing this upon him? Shinji was banking on the former, but wouldn't agree to anything yet. "N-no issue. I have some food on the table that I ate for supper. Mostly some sandwiches, snacks, and a bowl of salad," he tried eating healthy on occasion, though Kensuke mocked him for being skin and bones already. "D-did you want some?" he asked leading his guest to the kitchen and the food he'd yet to put away.

Following close, very close, behind Shinji, Rei made no vocal acknowledgement. Once to saw the offered food, she grabbed the utensils and prepared herself a salad in one of the dirty bowls. "I do no eat meat, but this will suffice," she sniffed at the food and blinked rapidly as the scents assailed her senses. Taking a small bite, Rei's eyes closed as she chewed.

Adding the tray of turkey and lettuce sandwiches to the refrigerator, Shinji left the chips and cookies out in case Rei wanted a little more. "I didn't know you were a vegetarian," he found it easier to talk to her without looking at her. "I-is the salad good? I tried making a new type of dressing, Ritsuko-san doesn't like classic types and I thought she might enjoy this," he wouldn't call it a bribe as Ritsuko had nothing Shinji wanted, a peace offering would have been a better comparison.

"Ayanami are you alright? If you don't like it you don't have to eat it," he added as Rei continued to chew with eyes closed. Touji, who claimed hated anything remotely healthy, enjoyed it, but Shinji had to accept that not everybody would like his culinary experiments. It was her silence that unnerved him so much, he realized. The other girls he was forced to suffer through were so vocal and gabby, that Rei stuck out for more than just her unique complexion. "Ayanami?" he inched closer to her hoping she wasn't choking.

Her eyes popped open and she devastated the bowl of food with rapid assaults from her pilfered chopsticks. She didn't eat as much as she inhaled the simple combination of lettuce, tomato, croutons, and the ginger/garlic based dressing. After her rather unexpected display of eating, Rei set the bowl down, "It was most agreeable. Now if you have no other issues we should see to the unpacking." Pivoting on the balls of her feet she made a hasty, if not embarrassed, retreat from the kitchen.

Following at a relaxed pace, Shinji's shock was comprehensible. She liked it! She more than liked it, if that show was real. It did his confidence a load of good to see such animated and dare he say comical reaction from the stoic girl. "Do you have a lot of boxes, Ayanami?" he normally went to bed around ten so unless she had legions of items it wasn't going to be an issue.

"I do not know what you qualify as a lot so I cannot answer that," she replied opening the door to Shinji's apartment. Moving with purpose and haste, Rei didn't check if she was being followed. Stopping at her door, she opened it without using her keycard, she was keeping the tradition of unlocked doors alive and well. "The large furniture was delivered the first day, and the boxes came late today due to a shipping error. One of the four was misplaced by the contracted mover," she informed as she turned on the lights.

It was just so barren it was sad even to Shinji. Moving from his shared dwelling into this unit seemed almost a mockery. The sensation of life and humanity his apartment had been totally absent in Rei's. No couch, television, or any signs of habitation in the kitchen or living room. He wanted to ask where all her stuff was, but the memory of her old apartment quelled that. She had nothing to move that would have gone in those rooms.

He stalled as she opened the door to her room, it was hot and stuffy unlike where he had just left. "Why don't you try the air conditioner, Ayanami? It's all apart of the expense so it wouldn't hurt to make yourself more comfortable," he headed to the small orb affixed to the wall. He couldn't help but notice it was set to off, and looked to not have even been looked at. Being averse to forcing his opinion and wishes on others, he'd not have mentioned if had he not seen her sweating.

Standing in the threshold to her bedroom, Rei tilted her head to the side much akin to a bird. "It works?" she asked incredulously. Retreating back to Shinji's position, she timidly flicked the switch to 'on' and skittered when the rattling device clicked on. "It works," she said again more amazed than before.

Let it slide, be smart and let it slide, his brain screamed at him. It was pathetic to think she'd never tried it as she never had a working unit before. Just how bad was her life before, what did she do? Another question best left unasked. "Let's see about those boxes?" he pointed at her room and walked ahead of her. Standing by the control, she had been so close, almost touching him, and yet she didn't even bat an eyelash at the idea. Wasn't she nervous like he was? Afraid she'd do or say something to upset or worry.

The bedroom was marginally better than the empty living room. It had her bed, cleaned by the movers as they transferred it. Her dresser right next to it still held those beakers, he'd ask her about them someday if ever given the opportunity. Her boxes were sitting in the middle of the room, he couldn't help but notice she had chosen the same room as he was staying in. It struck him as odd that she didn't take the master bedroom, but with so little in the way of possessions, maybe it was all for convenience.

They worked in silence mostly. They'd open a box, Shinji would ask where she wanted the contents, and the two would shuffle about avoiding touching one another, avoid talking to one another, and after that box was empty move on to the next. Once it came to her undergarments, Shinji nearly panicked. Why didn't she mind him handling her bra and panties? Shouldn't she have been upset, but no. Rei handed him a heaping mound of them and told him to put them in the forth drawer.

The last box however…that hadn't gone over very well. "That's odd, this one is sealed with tape," he commented as he picked up the smaller box. It had some mass to it, and judging by the size suspected the as of yet unseen viola was inside. Using his apartment key to cut through the tape, he saw Rei hanging the last of her uniforms in the closet. She did still look confused, yet in that confusing was a subtle beauty that he found himself lost in.

Finding herself the unsuspecting source of Shinji's gaze, Rei's cheeks faintly colored. "Is that the final box?" was that regret in her voice or was Shinji simply hoping she enjoyed his company. Approaching the box as Shinji held it out to her, Rei opened the top and in one moment changed from emotionless and peculiarly confused to livid.

"So it was the viola, I was wondering where it was. I didn't know you played," Shinji said offhandedly as Rei gripped the box and yanked it from his hands. It was that overt force that keyed Shinji in on something he hadn't expected. A moment later when Rei was walking out of the room, almost a slow jog, that he began to worry. "Ayanami?" he called out to her.

In the middle of her empty living room, Rei grabbed the neck instrument and let the box fall to the ground. Packing peanuts exploded from the top as the box fell to the side from the simple act of gravity. Holding the viola like a club, Rei clutched it so tightly the cords cut into her hand and dainty blood droplets dirtied the faux hardwood floor. Shinji stood in the hallway between the bedroom and living room and watched her standing there, fury pouring out of her.

For three full minutes Rei just stood there holding that infernal instrument and if her hate had a physical form would have caused the wood to combust. Then in one mighty rage filled scream she slammed the viola to the ground as humanities mighty caveman ancestors would have done. It splintered and cracked but held its shape, for a moment. But blow after blow to the ground, each accompanied by the sustained wail, the instrument that symbolized her old life shattered into its component pieces.

But that wasn't enough, once the neck and broken free of the base, Rei's bare feet pounded and ground. Dust and flakes of wood mixed with the blood from her damaged feet as the girl destroyed the symbol of what she hated most. When she was spent, and nothing remained of what had once been Yui Ikari's prized viola, she fell to her knees amid the chaos she created.

When she felt hands grasping for her own, she rebelled at first and fought off, "No" she feebly stated. Then her eyes cleared, it wasn't Him, it was Shinji, she relented. She watched as the boy silently wrapped her bleeding hands with gauze from her bathroom and fresh bandages. He helped her to her bed, her feet leaving blood stains on the ground as they moved, and there he did the same treatment to her feet. He never spoke, but acted tenderly and with great care not to hurt her more.

He knew he had to say something, Rei's little demonstration proof enough that she wasn't as good as Ritsuko thought. "Ayanami…Rei-san…if you ever want to talk about anything," Shinji swallowed hard. He had to be strong, he had witnessed a call for help, and as much as he wanted to run from it, knew he couldn't. She deserved better than that. Nervous that he overstepped his bounds by using her name, he continued regardless, "If you ever want to talk, or just hang out, and not be alone…come to me. I'll be there," he didn't know what else to do or say.

Sitting on her bed, Rei didn't say anything either, she leaned against the boy was all. Moments later she fell asleep, her explosive destruction of the viola had sapped her strength. But she slept soundly against the newfound pillar she had been provided. Shinji just laid her down, moved her to a good position, and watched her sleep for some time. Fixing her hair as he checked his watch and it declared it was now in fact Monday, Shinji left and locked the door as he did.

X-X

Walking through the apartment, Misato inspected as much as she could for what few things still needed packing. A lot of what she saw was staying, things like the refrigerator, furniture, and food, what little left was necessary for the remaining time at the apartment. It had suited her and her ward well for the years they lived there, but it was time to say goodbye. Japan, she was going back to Japan after all these years. Back to where he was.

Misato hadn't spoken to Kaji directly since their falling out, but she tried keeping tabs on him as much as working in a secret government facility would allow. So not much. She knew he was a captain now, but other than that she knew nothing. It wasn't like she was actively seeking him either, it was his fault anyway for the break up so he should be the one to apologize.

"Well the kitchen is good…not that I use anything in here," she giggled as she pulled a beer out of Pen-Pen's fridge. No, it wasn't her duty to cook her ward did that if it wasn't an ordered meal. Oh Asuka, when she first semi-adopted that girl Misato was going to rip the girl's larynx out and sauté it. But over the years and over many a fight, the two came to terms, well after Misato beat the superiority complex out of the firebrand and made her much more agreeable.

Not that Asuka was without ego, no, Misato wasn't a miracle worker in that regard. But the girl was tempered now, focused, and a hell of a lot more fun to be around. "She's like a little me…well…a smarter and more athletic me," Misato shrugged and popped the top of her can. Walking down the barren hallways, the pictures already boxed up and taken by the movers, Misato headed to confront the girl she lived with for so long.

"Asuka you better be packing this time! We move to the ship in less than three weeks so no more procrastinating!" Misato called through the locked door. Asuka's need for privacy concerned Misato a little, but credited a lot to the girl going through that 'awkward teenage' phase. "You're not doing anything naughty in there are you?" she couldn't help but tease…Asuka had recently discovered the joys of adulthood.

Unlocking the door, headphones firmly planted in her ears, Asuka's head bopped to the music. "I'm packed already so you can relax, nothing but my weekly clothing is left," Asuka huffed and fell back to her desk and waiting book. Conversational Japanese and customs were the flavors of the day.

"Still trying to master Japanese in two weeks?" Misato was galled by the time Asuka took to learn things. One week after Misato handed Asuka the first level book on learning Japanese the girl set the rule that no German was going to be used in the apartment to help her learn. Misato was stunned, but learned long ago that once Asuka set her mind to something to NOT confront her…or it'd be pain.

Tossing the cashed book onto the pile of others already finished, Asuka flashed Misato a toothy grin. "I will not be looked down upon by those kids over there who try and trick me with ignorance!" her chest puffed out and a swarthy smile crested her face. "So unless you have something else to nag me about, or you're here to tell me I can use your perfume on my date tomorrow I'd like to get back to studying," Asuka said reaching for Advanced Japanese.

Asuka's tendency to get asked out alarmed Misato at first, the girl was so young but so many older teenagers kept asking her out. She favored them as well as Misato favored German beer, not well. But Asuka at least let them treat her, and sent them packing with their shattered pride…maybe a 'sorry but no' kiss on the cheek. Playful to some degree, but suddenly no-nonsense the next as one broken armed Romeo found out. Misato had to wonder how Asuka's teen years would have mirrored hers, had she not been comatose.

Having received a secret communiqué from Nerv-Japan for head officers only, Misato did have one little bit of information for her ward. "Well I do have one thing for you, and it's not going to be a good thing," Misato sat on Asuka's bed and prayed the girl wouldn't hate Japanese beds to much. Waiting for Asuka to take the earbuds out, Misato readied herself. "It seems that I'll be taking on a lot more duties once we get over there. The sub-commander has been jailed for molesting the First Child. He didn't rape her, thankfully, but…it went far enough to warrant his arrest," Misato expected a rather large reaction from her quasi-daughter.

And boy did she get it.

Picking up a book at random, Asuka demonstrated her knowledge of physics and applied mathematics by tearing a book in half as if it were a single page. "That sick fuck!" Asuka genuinely avoided slurs deeming them beneath her, but would slip on rare occasions. "How did they find out about it? Can I step on him with my Eva?" Asuka spun around in her chair to await Kozo's fate.

Hoping Asuka hadn't destroyed something important, Misato was pleased to see it was just a sappy romance novel that Asuka favored. "The Third Child, the boy if you remember, stumbled upon it while delivering her security badge. He warned top brass and a day later he was in custody. And no, you can't stomp him. You'd end up in jail for murder and I doubt you'd like it there. No music or video games in prison," Misato hit Asuka in two of her week points.

Head bobbing in understanding, Asuka popped her earbud back in. "Hmm well its good to know. I won't aim to take the top spot from her so quick then, give her time to adjust before I claim my rightful place at the top," Asuka's tone held no ego or malice, just stating a fact. She was good, better than good, and she knew it. It wasn't pride or boasting, she held no contempt for the other pilots. No, they were challenges for her to overcome to better herself. And that is what Asuka wanted, to better herself, to be better than Misato.

Rubbing Asuka's head, something Misato almost lost a finger to the first week they lived together, she marveled at the changed girl. After the incident with her real mother, and her father's subsequent near-abandonment of her, Misato took Asuka in. The girl was a real bitter pill, thought she was king shit and wouldn't take no for an answer. Well, Misato fought that battle, and while Asuka still had some pride about her skill it was well deserved and in most times modest.

"Good girl, and you might thank that boy Shinji too, if it wasn't for him who knows," Misato gave Asuka's shoulder a playful squeeze and elicited a giggle. "Get some sleep tonight, and be kind to that boy you're going to blow off tomorrow. And I know you're going to, you have your 'lets be friends' dress hanging up," Misato rattled off knowing Asuka's mind far to well for any potential lies.

Turning up the volume, Asuka just dismissed Misato and went back to her studies. Japanese was a hard language even for a genius to learn. Like all things in her life, Asuka was dedicated to her task, was going to complete it, have fun while doing it, and be successful. She didn't know how to fail.

Shutting the door behind her, Misato listened for a while as Asuka's music droned from the other side of the door. "She's a good kid," Misato was proud of her parenting job. Was it the best? Hell no, Asuka got away with some things that a normal parent would faint from hearing. But what counted was they cared about each other, were there for each other, and soon would take Japan by storm. "Are you thinking of me though?" she wondered aloud to the man she hadn't heard from only about for so long. "I can't wait to see Ritsuko either, I just hope she hasn't chained herself to her lab," with another long sign Misato went to finish some paper work for their new apartment.

X-X

Author notes

I can bet already that some people will not like this chapter. Sorry about that, but I don't think the Rei/Shinji scene was out of character for somebody that experienced what occurred in this story. And I'm hoping you don't hate my portrayal of Asuka and Misato. Its different but not out of the realm of possibility. Living together for so long would bring changes out of both of them, so I hope you give it a chance.

On a side note I'm just about finished with Persona 3 – FES. I've had it for ages but the damn floor bosses were intimidating. Now I just have to beat the reaper, conquer monad and finally beat the damn game!

Hope you enjoyed, hope you keep reading, and take some time out to enjoy life

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	6. Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimer

Was an off weekend again, sorry for the strange timing lately. I'm trying to get back in the routine I like but it's been strange and lot of happenings lately. Game wise I blame Dead Rising 2 and the Lords of Shadow for being very large distractions, the former has been beaten and the later just started.

Anyway, enjoy

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 6

The droning engine of the VTOL was a hypnotic when accompanied with the vast emptiness of the ocean. Shinji fought back a yawn as his fellow passengers meandered about. Grinding against the thin cushion of his seat the tired boy tried to get a better position that wouldn't aggravate his back. Watching Kensuke gush and fawn over every small piece of the vehicle had long ago lost its appeal. Kaji, Shinji noticed, spent the majority of the flight either embarrassed or talking to the co-pilot, a fairly attractive brunette named Ayumi. The last member of the boarding party appeared just as bored as Shinji felt, but Shinji guessed Touji was like him and just enjoying some time away from school.

Swapping seats, Touji bounced down hard on the thin seat next to Shinji. Grabbing the rim of his hat, Touji ran his fingers across the brim. "What do you think? Mari picked it out of a magazine and said it'd look good on me," the jock's enthusiasm for the cheap black and white stripped hat was commendable. "She keeps asking when you're going to visit by the way, I think she's got some hero worship going on," Touji added and nudged Shinji with his elbow.

Call him a coward if you will, he called himself one anyway, Shinji had no real desire to see the child he hurt. "Looks good on you," he mentioned half hearted and yawned again. The last two weeks had sped through as if they were greased and rolled downhill screaming. From the announcement of this trip to this morning, Shinji dreaded meeting the new pilot. Spying the approaching dilapidated armada approaching stole a lot of Shinji's enthusiasm. "And if my schedule clears up I'll see what I can do," Shinji was very happy Kaji wasn't paying him any attention.

"Oh man it's a whole fleet! This is just awesome! Thanks for bringing us along Shin-man!" Kensuke cheered. Jumping up and down in the small passenger area, the military nut was not making any friends and stressing those he already had. A veritable Ping-Pong ball of energy, Kensuke video taped every moment of the trip for prosperity. "I never thought I'd see one of those in action!" he focused the lens on the battleship with the noticeable landing pad.

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Touji just offered the obligatory, "Yeah it's really amazing isn't it." Turning to Shinji, Touji parroted Kensuke's gushing with his hand. "So how's your girlfriend doing without her daily lunch?" Touji pulled his hat over his eyes in faux dramatic fashion. "Don't think we haven't noticed that the ice queen of Tokyo-3 has been talking to you either," Touji flicked the bill as he stretched his legs out.

Ayanami Rei. Shinji still had no real idea what to make of the poor yet strong girl. He could see where Touji and Kensuke might get the wrong idea about the two of them, but Shinji had no illusions regarding the pale girl. The day after she showed him her inner anger, things shifted between them. Having snuck back into her apartment and cleaning the mess she made, Shinji found the girl watching him on her freshly reopened wounds.

He reapplied fresh bandages and offered to cook her breakfast so she could stay off her foot. Rei agreed by not disagreeing. After she inhaled another meal of his, Shinji took the spare time to make her a simple lunch. This exchange happened the next day, and the next…and the next. Everyday save one, Shinji fixed the albino breakfast and lunch. He had nothing to do anyway and it made him feel good to help somebody that needed it. They didn't talk much, what little they did was trivial matters. But, at school, everybody noticed Rei's occasional acknowledgement of Shinji, something the girl never did before.

Back on the plane, Shinji's stomach lurched from a combination of the landing process and Touji's blatant comment. "I told you before, Touji, I only do it because she doesn't know how to cook. I get up so early it's more to help me pass the time than anything," his blushing face however stole a lot of his thunder. Grabbing at his stomach, he felt a rumble and feared he might need the barf bag after all, but the queasiness passed. "A-as for her talking to me, did you ever think it was Nerv related?" he questioned the boy who's smile was starting to annoy him.

"Nice try Shinji, but you and I both know that Nerv is the last thing you like talking about," Kaji announced joining the conversation. Spinning on his heels, the spy grabbed one of the cloth loops by the door to steady himself. "Though Suzuhara-kun, you might do well and accept the other part is true. Our little Ikari here is one hell of a cook, and Ayanami can't boil water I've been told," Kaji winked at Shinji as the final decent lowered the VTOL.

With a crash forward as touchdown occurred, Shinji heaved out a massive sigh. Once again Kaji came though at the clutch to save him. Rei was…Shinji thought of her as a friend, and he could lie to himself and think she felt the same. The day he missed making her food she actually appeared relieved to see him at school and asked about his health. Not a declaration of love by any stretch, but more than the average student got from the mysterious First Child.

Flinging the door open with gusto, Kensuke ramped out the door and with camera in hand proceeded to embarrass everybody else. The blades were still spinning as Kaji hoped off and offered a hand to the young woman he had charmed along the flight. Touji, unfortunately, found himself chasing after the hat his sister picked out for him as a swell from the ocean carried it off his head and down towards the edge. Shinji just stretched his aching back as he flexed his sore muscles, being cooped up on the VTOL for three hours had been rough.

"Somebody stop that hat! Anybody please! Come on!" Touji bellowed at the crewmembers aboard the ship. The hat, while cheap and gaudy, had been hand selected by his adorable yet bed ridden little sister. He was going to get it back even if he had to dive overboard to catch it. "Stop you fucking bastard stop!" his desperation rising as the air in his lungs drew shorter and shorter. The jock came to a rolling stop as a single yellow heeled foot stomped down on the wayward hat.

Rushing up to Touji's side as Kensuke flipped his camera off, Shinji got his first view of the pilot who destroyed every polling of pilot skill. He had seen foreigners before, Tokyo-3 was full of them, but this girl stood above them like an eagle before a sparrow. All Shinji did was watch as Touji tried to pry his hat out from under the girl's foot. When Kaji's hand clamped down on his shoulder, Shinji nearly screamed.

"So you must be Asuka Langley Soryu," Kaji extended the hand not on Shinji's shoulder to the girl. Giving a strong shake, Kaji added, "This is Ikari Shinji and his two friends Suzuhara at your feet and Aida filming this auspicious occasion." Kaji gestured to the two boys after reclaiming his hand. "Pleased to meet you," he bowed lightly.

Flying backward as Asuka's foot raised just enough to release her pray, Touji shot to his feet. "What the hell was that for? Couldn't you have used your damn hand and not step on this, it's a gift from my sister!" he shouted before getting a good look at the girl. Touji took a step back, almost as if hit in the stomach. "W-what you got to say for yourself?" his mouth finally worked well enough to speak.

Shrugging, Asuka pushed the hair that blew over her shoulder back. "She's got ok taste in hats I guess, and you're lucky I did anything. If I had felt like it, I could have let it go over the side. So I think you owe me a 'thank you,'" Asuka smirked as she stepped closer to the other men. Giving all four men a good once over she simply stated, "Pass, pass, I've heard enough to pass on you, and maybe," she ended on Shinji.

As fate would have it, the trio of teenagers and the grown man were favored with another strong breeze from the side of the ship. In one glorious billowing of fabric the quartet of males were favored with a showing of Asuka's plain white panties. With a snort and a fierce pushing down her yellow sundress, Asuka moved to Kensuke. "I don't know how it is in Japan, but in Germany men have to pay for seeing such a sight," she said in a very embarrassed tone.

Shinji still hadn't mastered the ability to speak, but he witnessed what the German girl meant by payment. Kensuke, Touji, and even Kaji got a fairly loud sounding smack to the face. When she was standing in front of him, those beautiful blue eyes so fierce and majestic bore down on him, Shinji just shut his eyes waiting for the pain.

He got none. Asuka's palm lightly cupped his cheek. His eyes opened and standing right before him filling his full scope of vision, Shinji's mind was blown officially by this woman.

"You get this one free for what you've done for the First, but next time you'll have to pay too. I can't be going easy on my rival," Asuka's confident voice belied she meant every syllable. After lightly patting Shinji's cheek, "Let's go, Misato wants to have a talk with you in the mess hall," Asuka started…before Touji went and made an enemy for life and flashed her. Asuka dispensed with justice with a mighty back hand that sent the jock to the floor.

X-X

She could here the larger boy complaining behind her, but Asuka had already written his opinion off as useless. Anybody that resorted to flashing a girl when his manhood was threatened wasn't worth a piss in the snow. "Misato said she'd be there when I brought you in, so likely she's not there yet," Asuka said over her shoulder and stole another glance of Kaji. So that was the infamous man that augmented her guardians taste in men and as a result hers. Sure he was attractive, but looks weren't enough.

"So how's life been with Katsuragi? She still drink beer for breakfast?" Kaji asked stepped up along Asuka's side. Keeping pace down the narrow corridor, the man forced the teenager to side step to avoid brushing up against him. "Or has rearing you mellowed her out?" his chuckle hinted at what he believed the answer to be.

Purposefully striding ahead and setting a faster pace, Asuka was not going to humor this man. He had every warning sign Misato warned her of, and that she saw in the other boys that tried winning her heart. To self assured, overly relaying on charisma, and simply looking down on anything female, well Asuka was not going to stand for that. "Misato's still favors that Japanese swill in the morning, but I've made strides in breaking her bad behaviors," Asuka's head cocked back in pride.

His head shaking, Kaji stole a glance behind him at the trio of boys, two still whispering mocking jests at their guide and the third who had yet to speak since landing. "I'd never would have believed Misato would take a child into her care, but it seems it worked out wonderfully for both of you," Kaji's head jerked as Asuka dodged his attempt to pat her shoulder. "I guess the stereotype of Westerners being more inclined to touch is just that," he laughed again.

"Oh I don't mind it on occasion, just I know enough about you from Misato to not want you anywhere near me," Asuka shrugged as she pulled open the door to the mess hall. "No offense Ryoji-san, but I know more about you than you know about me, and anybody that upsets Misato as you do is no friend of mine," Asuka fluffed her hair and sauntered into the room. Grabbing an empty table, "And in typical fashion, Misato is late so I guess we can sit and…chat." Not what she wanted mostly, but maybe she could gauge her rival a bit more.

Sitting next to Kaji, Shinji bashfully looked around the empty room. "I'd never think a ships cafeteria would be so big," he gaped as he continued to avoid looking at the German. He slid down the bench as Touji and Kensuke sat just a little to close for his liking. "D-do you think this Misato woman will be very long?" Shinji kept his head anchored on the door.

A lot more timid than she expected, but that could always be changed. "Misato likes to be fashionably late, or she's lost. She has no sense of direction at times," Asuka huffed and set her chin on her palm. Unlike the boy, Asuka kept Shinji always somehow in her vision. The news bomb Misato had dropped not two hours ago was still echoing in her head, and filling it with all types of lovely opportunities.

The boy before her had achieved something Asuka thought impossible. His initial sync ratio was more than twice hers when she started, and he had three confirmed kills. The first death executed during his very first sortie. Added to the mix was his rising scores, while still lower than hers, were rising steadily. Yes, this boy could spur her onward and upward to even greater heights. A good rival was something Asuka prayed for, and from the data the First Child wasn't even in Shinji's league. Anything to get better, higher, stronger, and broaden her already impeccable skills was worth seeking.

"I'm not that bad," Misato announced coming from the opposite side of the mess as they group had entered. Waving at her surrogate daughter, Misato's stride was interrupted only momentarily as Kaji waved back at her. "And I told you to wait a little up on deck before bringing them down, its not my fault you can't follow orders," Misato stuck her tongue out at the girl as she sat at the table.

"Misato Katsuragi, everybody else, everybody else, Misato Katsuragi" Asuka gestured from the group of males to Misato and back. As expected, as loathsome as she was to accept it, Asuka saw the two lesser boys almost start salivating at the sight of Misato. Peculiarly her hopeful rival seemed not interested, very interesting. But the pain still existed, Misato was still better. No matter what Asuka tried, Misato was always that one step above her. Looks, strategic planning, and even at having a fun time Misato made Asuka look like a novice. "Don't go wetting your pants boys," Asuka dryly recited as she made room for Misato to sit.

Coughing roughly, Kaji extended his hand across the small table. "Been a long time Katsuragi, and judging from your ward I'm guessing you're still upset?" Kaji rubbed at the back of his head with his free hand. Squirming in his seat as his hand hung in open air for an agonizingly long time, Misato eventually grabbed it and shook it with a genuine smile.

With two mighty pumps, Misato retrieved her hand from Kaji and extended it towards Shinji. "I might have exaggerated a few stories of our past, but I'm not going to buy your snake oil anymore. And you," Misato turned from Kaji to Shinji and her features softened. "You must be the famous Third Child, Ikari Shinji, cuter than I thought you'd be," she giggled as she reached across the table and grabbed the prone boy's hand. "Misato Katsuragi, the charming and thankless caretaker to the ball-buster Second Child," she winked at Asuka as she reclined back.

"I-uh…hello Katsuragi-san, these are my friends Touji and Kensuke," Shinji gestured to the two boys hopping on their seats. "H-how do you know my name though, I thought the records for the tests just had our designation," Shinji squirmed more under Misato's gaze.

Nudging Asuka's side, Misato quickly nodded in Shinji's direction. "You're very famous in our business Ikari-kun. Anybody that activates an Eva on their first try and takes it successfully into battle is going to make some splash. Asuka was insanely jealous of that little fact," Misato wrapped her arm around Asuka more to keep her moving than anything.

It was sickening, those men were almost dry humping her damn guardian right before her! Asuka had noticed how the idiot stopped short in his hate speak after seeing her up on the deck, so she knew they thought she was attractive. But with the exception of Shinji, the men were about to soil themselves! What made Misato so much better than her? She loved Misato like a mother, yes, but it was the biggest thorn in her side that despite how she improved it was never enough.

"Well now that I'm going to be in Tokyo-3, I'm sure you won't have to work nearly as hard as before. I'll take care of everything on my own if given the chance," Asuka's smile was as radiant as her boast. "You won't be the greatest for long, Third Child, I fully intend to own that title," she puffed her chest out, and enjoyed how he snuck back. He was timid, something she liked, but could he bare fangs if needed? That was the important part.

Releasing her hold on Asuka, Misato gave the two gabbing boys the obligatory smile and wave. "Anyway Ikari-kun, I hear that you're living with Kaji in an apartment. Does he still bring random women home on weekends after drinking too much?" Misato didn't let her anxiousness shine through, rather hid it inside her teasing.

Asuka heard the truth behind the question, but sagely let Misato think her desperation to know if Kaji was still available go unchecked. That was the one saving grace Asuka thought she had over Misato. She wasn't going to be chained to some man she claimed to hate only to pine after.

Oblivious to the motions Kaji was trying to give him that Asuka saw, Shinji just put his finger to his lower lip and bent his head back. "No, why would he when he has Ritsuko-san back at the apartment," Shinji said simply and plainly. He turned to Kaji and his expression shifted from confused to nervous as the man was covering his face with his hands.

"Look Katsuragi, we were going to tell you but you stopped talking to me years ago, and you haven't phoned Ritsuko in years," Kaji tried explaining as he got out of his seat. He took several quick steps closer to Misato with outstretched hands. "We'd have told you, but with all the secrecy with Nerv, and then the angels attacking again we just didn't have time!" he sounded sincere and apologetic.

A resounding smack echoed in the mess hall. Misato in one deft movement got to her feet and unleashed on the man with her left hand. "You fucking bastard! How long did it take you to jump my best friend?" Misato shouted. "Five damn seconds, a fucking email, anything to let me know this little factoid would have sufficed, but NO I get nothing?" Misato rounded the table and started for the door.

Touji and Kensuke followed at a discreet distance as Kaji was more open in his pursuit. "The road goes both ways Katsuragi! And we've only been seeing each other for a…a few years," his face winced at that little drop. "All this time you could have at least called her, she needed a friend and I was there when you weren't. Things just started off as friends and then before we knew it," he explained as Misato flung the door open and walked out of it. Kaji and his two unassuming tags were right behind.

"Typical Misato," Asuka sighed, "Seeing everybody else to blame but never once accepting any responsibility." Misato wasn't perfect, Asuka knew that, but where Asuka compared it was different. "But I'm glad you blew his cover before he tried something with her, Misato might not look it but she's got a glass heart," Asuka shuffled out from under the table.

Still gazing at the slowly shutting door, Shinji's head shook to the side. "I thought she would have known. Kaji-san has mentioned Katsuragi-san once or twice before," the boy shrugged his shoulders. "Should we follow after them?" he asked turning to find Asuka very close to the edge of personal space.

Arms crossed, Asuka had a lovely idea to gauge this boy's worthiness as her competition. "She's going to be running that guy around the whole ship, so let them worry about themselves. You," she poked Shinji's forehead playfully, "Are coming with me to see the instrument of your unseating." Grabbing Shinji's arm, she yanked the boy at a steady but not painful pace. The way he fidgeted and tried to avoid contact, it eased one of Asuka's fears. She'd seen boys try the 'I'm shy' card before only to be wolves in sheep's clothing, but this one seemed the real deal.

"Are-are you sure that's a good idea," Shinji shuffled and stumbled as he was lead down the metallic corridors of the battleship. Of course it was necessary, as supremacy had to be stamped in steel for all to know. His meek comments and questions went mostly unanswered as Asuka had a goal in mind and wasn't going to be deterred for anything.

After showing Shinji her Eva, proudly standing on the chest, Asuka filled him in on a few of the upgrades other than the color. When she fell thanks to the vibrations from the depth charge, she was pleasantly surprised to find Shinji had actually caught her. So he could move if a fire was under him…most interesting. But that was for later, now it was time to show him her superior piloting. Then she'd take her rightful place as his superior, without any doubt in anybodies mind.

X-X

In the last twenty minutes somebody had just taken the dial representing Kaji's life and switched it to fucked. Flying back across the ocean to the relative safety of Tokyo-3, the spy could only sit and listen to his ex giving frantic updates regarding the unexpected, to them, battle. And there he sat, the cause of the attack secured in bakelite in a case on his lap. He was safe for now, but how would everybody react to his bout of supposed cowardice? Misato's joyous shouting of his name was instantly replaced with disbelief as his escape craft took off leaving the woman to learn real fast how to order the Evangelion around.

Kaji's one saving grace was somehow Shinji had gotten into the entry plug with Asuka. He'd never ask what drove the two pilots into that situation, Shinji wasn't known for being a lady killer and that girl of Misato's appeared to be a real ball breaker yet somehow they were together in a very cramped space.

From Misato's static riddled comments to the pilots, it was clear Shinji had taken the helm. It did make Kaji smile to know that the new pilot actual balked at the sight of the angel, only temporary it sounded, but Asuka had broke down in the face of the enemy giving Shinji the chance to control the behemoth. They'd succeed, Misato wasn't stupid, and the plan she had would work if the navy escort allowed it.

But what was the cost he was to pay for this little necessary act of subterfuge? Everybody on that damn boat had seen him seemingly turn tail and run. It had been the order all along, not that anybody save Kaji knew it. If an angel attack, Kaji had his orders to escape with Adam and leave the fate of Unit-02 in the hands of the pilot. Shinji was likely going to go back several yards on the trust stick over this one. But what choice did he have? Follow orders or face Gendo's wrath for disobedience.

Gazing out across the vast expanse of blue ocean, Kaji packed himself a cigarette. Nobody was going to comment on this little act, as the pilot was smoking himself. Slipping the toxin between his lips, Kaji rested his elbows on the thin case on his lap. Ritsuko was going to tear him a new one for the damage this was going to cause to their ward. Abandoning a boy with abandonment issues, real smooth super spy.

The other issue, one Kaji hadn't expected, had been Misato. Dear God she looked beautiful. He had expected some changes in her, prepared himself for the woman to be angry, sad, or even happy to see him. What he hadn't expected was how he was going to feel. Ritsuko was in his heart, but when he saw those chocolate brown eyes Kaji's mind exploded in memories of simpler times.

Cracking the case open, the spy grimaced at seeing the palm sized creature that had caused so much pain and anguish. A momentary thought of tossing the accursed thing over into the ocean was almost overwhelming. But, even if mankind couldn't find the tiny case the angels could. At least by playing along and being the dutiful currier, Kaji could hope to stop whatever Gendo was plotting.

"I owe Shinji a big one, even if I hadn't left him behind," Kaji exhaled a mighty plume of grey smoke. Sealing the case, the smell of bakelite was overpowering, Kaji dropped it to the ground. Shinji's little info-bomb for Misato had set the stage wonderfully for him to move about and get the fucking shrimp. All Kaji had to do was pretend to be upset with Misato and chase after her long enough to lose his tails. Once they were gone, stop the charade of hunting after Misato, find his contact, and score the goods.

Misato's learning of his relationship was inevitable, at least it served a good cause. Despite the pain he saw in Misato's face, Kaji didn't feel too bad for her. The road did go both ways, and Misato had made zero effort in the last few years to contact Ritsuko or him. Kaji could forgive Misato for ignoring him, but her ignoring of Ritsuko pained the man deeply. The two women had been so close, but Misato just dropped off the face of the earth, stopped talking to the bottle blond, and when Ritsuko needed a friend was nowhere to be seen.

"I just hope Ritsuko is ready for Misato's return," he mused as he snuffed out his smoldering carcinogen. Kaji wasn't stupid, he saw the fear in Ritsuko related to Misato. With Katsuragi back and in the same town, Kaji was going to have to be careful to not upset Ritsuko more. But damn did Misato strike a cord, even after all this time Kaji couldn't refute that she stirred something in him. "We were dumb kids back then, and I won't play kids games anymore," he clenched his fist hoping he believed what he said.

As the reports of the angel's destruction rained in over the crackling radio, Kaji's head bobbed with a smile. "Shinji scores another win," but if he heard correctly something odd happened in the plug. Asuka and Shinji achieved a score though impossible. "Please don't let this be something important…and please keep that girl away from Shinji," Kaji moaned and turned off the tuner. Something about that girl, her air of superiority, attitude, or maybe he was just upset that she wasn't taken in by his charms, Kaji found Asuka irksome.

Checking his watch, Kaji grimaced again. He wasn't going to be able to pick up Shinji at the dock, and that meant Ritsuko was going to have to. Ritsuko and Misato's first meeting in years and just after Misato learned of their relationship. Possibly a good thing for him not to be present after all. Closing his eyes, Kaji hunkered down for a quick nap. He'd have hell to pay to Ritsuko and Shinji over this, but he'd think of something. The droning engine worked wonderfully to lull the man to sleep, and his dreams were of the past and chances not taken.

X-X

The smell of brine and dead fish did not make Ritsuko's afternoon, yet at the pier she stood. Two of the ships had already docked and unloaded cargo and passengers, Shinji's friends among them, but the last and most important had just anchored. "I know she found out…she had to have found out…SOMEBODY would have said something," she proceeded to place her finger in her mouth and bite hard. What if Misato already wormed her way into Kaji's heart again, what if she was already going to be ditched?

Biting harder, the pain helped her mind to clear. Kaji cared about her, he wouldn't drop her at the first sign of Misato's return. Her tooth marked finger didn't agree, but at least it ceased to be attacked. Strolling up to the ramp, Ritsuko's nerves unwound at the sight before her. "Well if I knew you had this hobby young man I'd be more worried about you stealing my cloths," Ritsuko fought to keep from laughing. Their had to be an explanation, but seeing Shinji in a deep red female plugsuit made it damn hard to keep a straight face.

Covering his fake breast, his face almost matching the hue of the suit, Shinji just wobbled back and forth as he descended. "M-my cloths were on one of the ships that sank, Ritsuko-san. I-I don't LIKE being dressed like this," his hand tugged at the crotch that was looking a wee bit constricting. "Can we please get some spare clothing or something soon, this really hurts," he spied around for anybody else that might be watching.

"Your friends were unloaded more than an hour ago, their parents already took them home," Ritsuko called out as Shinji got off the unloading ramp. "No need to worry about them seeing your cross dressing hobby," Ritsuko pinched Shinji's cheeks as she bowed over. When he was embarrassed like this or acting shy, Ritsuko found it damn hard to not tease him. Odd how if she wasn't teasing she could hardly speak to the boy normally.

Brushing past the pair, not hitting but coming damn close, Asuka tugged at her collar. "It's rude to block the ramp," she nagged. Grabbing her long and still dripping hair, Asuka wrung out a mighty orange glop of LCL onto the dock. Standing before Ritsuko, Asuka gave the woman an appraising once-over. "Hm…not as big as Misato's but you are a lot more striking than I'd think from your voice," Asuka nodded in approval. Gripping Shinji's shoulder, Asuka spun the boy out of Ritsuko's grasp. "You beat me this time, Third, but I won't be shocked next time we go into battle so savor the flavor," Asuka smiled and patted Shinji's cheek again.

Pinching her own cheek, Ritsuko almost thought she was dreaming. "You are the Second Child? And here the rumors were you were a vain and self absorbed little terror," Ritsuko wasn't sure but she might have been complementing Asuka. The girl appeared sincere but well driven to succeed at all costs. "I-is Misato coming too? She is your guardian right?" the doctor asked and gazed up at the empty ramp. It wasn't fear, no fear was to light a word to describe Ritsuko's terror of meeting her long absent friend.

Squeezing Shinji's cheeks as the boy timidly fought to escape her clutches, Asuka half turned to the question. "Oh Misato got pulled into a meeting with that crusty admiral that claims its her fault for loosing some of those ships. Old fart doesn't want to accept the fact that we'd be dead if it wasn't for us," she roped her arm around Shinji and gave him a squeeze. "Little mouse here had some teeth in that battle, but my roar is louder," she pushed the boy away gently into Ritsuko's arms. "So you mind giving me a ride to base? Misato forgot to get an apartment set up for us so its barracks life for awhile," her tone was just as energetic as her body. Moving and flipping, never stationary, but such was Asuka Langley Soryu.

"We could hit a store on the way to the GeoFront so I can get something different to wear first?" Shinji continued to blush and tug at his crotch subtly. Inching further and further away from the new pilot, Shinji took solace behind Ritsuko, much like a child hiding from a bully behind his mother. "I-I'd like to get Asuka-san her plugsuit back," he stated weakly.

Stomping her foot and growling, her smile just as radiant, "I told you idiot to drop the 'san'! I won't be held by your silly eastern formalities! ASUKA you'll call me ASUKA, Shinji!" she chased after the boy who fled before her to the idling car. "Get back here and face my justice!" she sang as she chased after her pray.

Casting one last look up at the ship, Ritsuko was almost positive she saw Misato's head dash under the side. Nah, Misato wasn't that childish to hide…it was her job to be the skittish one. Walking at a leisurely pace after Asuka and Shinji, the formers voice booming in the open area, Ritsuko took the moment to relax. She'd dodged the bullet for now, but it was just a matter of time. As for Asuka herself, Ritsuko was perplexed at the difference in the girl's attitude from the initial easement from after her mother's accident.

"No matter, it's not like we have a choice in pilots anyway," Ritsuko shrugged and watched Asuka chase Shinji around the car. That was going to be interesting. What was that timid boy going to make of being the new pilots competitor, as was evident in everything the German did and said. "Hope she doesn't hurt the progress we've made, might do him good though," she popped a smoke in her mouth, grabbed her keys, and unlocked the car.

X-X

His bones ached from the cramped accommodations of his cell, but Kozo knew his freedom couldn't be far away. What did those fools know anyway, nothing! That's what they knew in reality. He had done nothing wrong, if anything he was asked to do it! The way that girl looked at him in that tube, begging, pleading, it wasn't his fault damn it! And the reality that the girl Ayanami Rei didn't really exist! Not as those peons knew it, she was the reincarnation! Had to be without a doubt! How else could she play that violin so well, how else could she know the things she knew about the past?

With the sound of the key sliding into the catch, Kozo got off his cot, more a thing strip of metal with a rotten mattress. "It's about time you crawled in here," Kozo said drolly as his visitor walked in and shut the door behind him. "You need me, that much has always been apparent, but know that I won't take this slander lying down, Ikari," Kozo dusted his rumpled and worn uniform.

Handing over a set of papers, Gendo's face remained the neutral it always seemed to be. "Here is the verdict from the old men," he gruffly stated and leaned against the wall. His eyes accosted by his glasses shined weakly through them. "They don't agree with your defense, nor do the command staff that learned of your little altercation with Rei," the elder Ikari adjusted his glasses.

Pulling his cracked glasses out of his inner pocket, Kozo slide them on to allow the simple act of reading. Stomping his foot Kozo let out a resounding hoot in the small cell. "House arrest and continuing my work on the Dummy plug with the help of Akagi," wiping a tear from his eye Kozo never felt vindication ring so true. "I won't ask how you blackmailed the young Akagi into this, but if it bites your ass it won't be me taking the blame," he folded the document and slide it into his pocket. "Would you kindly get out of my way so I can be heading home?" he tried walking past Gendo only to have the insufferable brute block him.

After cracking his knuckles, Gendo shoved the aged man back to the cot. "You gave her Yui's violin," was all he said. The man who had been a barroom brawler in his youth hunkered over the old professor. "Why did you jeopardize the scenario for your petty indulgences?" Gendo took off his own glasses and dropped them into his pocket, the dull light made wicked shadows of his features.

Wincing as his aged bones didn't take kindly to the abuse, Kozo rubbed at the underside of his knees. "I gave her BACK her violin, as you know," Kozo rolled his eyes. What Yui saw in this fool of a man, he would never know. A perfect patsy, but beside the gruff visage the man was of no use. "And don't stand their looking down on me, I saw how you were with her. Eating meals with her while ignoring your own son, doting on her yet keeping her in that small box for your own keeping," Kozo laughed at the man. "You and I are the same, Gendo, I simply chose to stop lying to myself about the woman who I loved more than you could fathom," he stood back up and moved back towards the door.

His left palm lashed out in the blink of an eye sending Kozo against the wall, but Gendo didn't show the slightly sign of stress. "Wrong professor, Rei is not Yui, it is a shame you've grown to senile to learn that fact," Gendo exhaled with a bored hitch. Rapping his fingers against the door he called out, "Open." Pivoting on his heels, Gendo briskly walked out of the door and resealed it, peeking his head through the window.

"You can't do this Ikari! The report said I was to be subject to house arrest while not working on the project!" Kozo's withered fingers wrapped around the steel bars. This wasn't possible! The scenario was originally crafted by Yui and him! Seele was just the damn backers, they had no right to get in his way! Who cares what Yui's latest incarnation and he did in private! "You open this door you sorry excuse for a tool or I'll have you reported back to your masters!" Kozo's face was red with anger as he spat through the grate.

Pulling out another note, Gendo tossed it in Kozo's face. "If I am a tool what does that make you?" Gendo smirked as Kozo picked up and read the note. "Welcome to your new home professor," his voice came as close to joy as it would dear get as he waved and walked down the hall. "You'll find the guards and Akagi less likely to help you escape your new residence so I'd not make matters worse for yourself. A man your age wouldn't do well falling down stairs," Gendo walked out of the brig without another word.

His fingers wrapped around those bars so hard he popped joints, but Kozo didn't feel any pain. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" he felt tears cascading down his cheeks. It wasn't fair! That bastard couldn't do this to him! He helped put Gendo into that position only to take the fall if the scenario failed! But when he saw the truth, saw Yui's smiling face behind that pale imitation things changed! "GENDO GET BACK HERE!" his pleas reverberated in the brig. Then blinding white pain exploded against his face as the butt of a rifle knocked him back.

"Shut your yap, child molester," the guard who had just clubbed the man called out. "I've a daughter that girl's age, sick fuck," Sagara Testarossa's dark expression matched his icy tone. Smacking his rifle against the door, the metallic boom was ear splitting in the tiny lime green metallic box. Sagara was a good man, good at his job, and neigh incorruptible.

X-X

Authors Notes

Very heavy story chapter here, hope you can see the slight changes in Asuka and don't take to much offense with it. I simply think that if Asuka and/or Shinji had a decent upbringing they'd have been a lot more stable. While neither are 'cured' I this story, I do try to show some 'improvement' in their mindsets. Some of you won't agree, might even hate how I just portrayed the resident German, but I hope you give me time to elaborate and round the character out.

Anyway, hope I get over my weekend writing hump and back into the swing of things. Hope you enjoyed, and have a great Halloween!

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	7. Chapter 7

Standard Disclaimer

Sigh work is getting odd again due to a lot of people being moved around. Messes with my head and makes me worry about continued employment. I do not want to be unemployed in this current economy, but we'll see what happens. Hope you had a fun Halloween, I did.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 7

Flipping through the negatives as yet another satisfied customer walked off with a copy of number forty-three and seventeen, Touji growled. Those two pictures had been taken during gym the previous day so showed the newest female in school in bloomers, but that wasn't what was making Touji less than a happy camper. It was how the girl electrified the school the moment she stepped into it! It was as if the skies opened and a goddess descended upon them, but Touji knew better.

"Asuka-Asuka-Asuka, can't these people see her for the devil she really is?" Touji moped as another boy got in line. "Just because she has bigger tits than the girls in our grade doesn't mean they have to fawn over her like they do," he handed the latest boy the folder of photos Kensuke had snapped. Waving at Shinji as the boy came out into the quad, Touji noticed Shinji had again given Rei a meal duo to a marked lack of distinction in the boy's satchel.

Handing the boy back his change, Kensuke rolled his eyes. "A number fourteen, good choice," Kensuke commented on the image of Asuka drinking from a fountain, hard shot to get without being seen. "And the only reason you hate her is because she laid you flat on your ass after you flashed her," Kensuke snickered. Folding up the stockpile of images, the geek stole them back out of sight as Shinji plopped down next to them. "And how is our city's hero doing today?" he said half-mockingly.

Spinning the top off a bottle of tea, Shinji took a large chug as he leaned against the communal tree. With remnants trailing down his face he finally got out, "Tired. This morning's tests weren't so bad. But then Asuka went and requested we actually spar against one another. Katsuragi-san actually agreed to it." Collapsing in on himself, Shinji blew up at his face, "Asuka then proceeded to beat the tar out of me…I did get in some small wins to make it a tie overall. Asuka wasn't happy."

Picking the onions out of his sandwich, store provided, Touji grimaced. "Looks like you get to have shit at work and shit at school. Girl is the devil isn't she, but why you using her first name? Something you ain't telling us?" Touji pitched his head to the side to just get a glimpse of Shinji. It was odd, somehow he connected with Shinji on a deeper level than Kensuke. He didn't want to come off as a dick, but part of Kensuke's personality would always keep them apart on some level, Shinji didn't have that.

Actually smiling, Shinji sat up a bit more against the tree and waved his hand dismissingly. A sudden joy in his voice that sounded alien coming from him he recounted, "She's not that bad Touji, you just got off on the wrong foot. As for her name, she insists that she be on a first name basis with her rival." Opening his lunch, Shinji picked a little at it with a content smile on his face. "Wish I had her passion for things, everything is a challenge, everything is something to overcome and become better for," he crunched though a rather crisp section of food.

Adjusting his glasses, Kensuke leaned over and gave Shinji a good steady review. "Do we detect the hint of emotion in zee words of zee Ikari we zee?" Kensuke dropped into his mad-scientist voice. "You one of the growing number of Soryu followers? What would your girlfriend say if she knew you were getting sweet on somebody else?" he prodded Shinji in the temple with his index finger.

"Yeah, Shin-man, never heard you so…soft when talking about anybody," Touji's reply was a lot harsher than Kensuke's. It was a damn act, why couldn't anybody else see through Asuka's disguise. He had seen the true face of the beast on that ship when she slapped them all…all except Shinji that is. Something about Shinji helping Ayanami, Touji never did follow up why that little slap wasn't administered. "My advice is stick with your ice-queen and let some other poor sap be eaten up and spat out by that bitch," Touji took a savage bight of his sandwich before accepting Shinji's leftovers.

A slightly discoloration to his cheeks, Shinji wasn't make any believers out of his friends today. "For one, I'm not 'soft' on Asuka or anything. She's just…I don't know hard to dislike after you get to know her. And I keep telling you, I'm not dating Ayana…mi," Shinji's voice died in his throat as the girl in question came walking out into the quad obviously looking for somebody.

Finding her target, Rei made a straight-line approached, going so far as to step between a gaggle of chatting girls. Bending at the knees, she came within a foot of Shinji and slowly extended the empty food box. "It was more acceptable than normal, t-thank you," she said as if the words were alien to her, almost like she couldn't grasp the meaning. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small plastic card, "This was prepared for you since you request my door be locked." With her task finished, the girl with a quizzical and confused expression stood and made a hasty retreat.

Eyeing the card, Touji couldn't help but ask, "What was that all about?" Never in his life had Touji seen Rei look anywhere near as normal as she just did. Something had to be happening between those two and it couldn't just be food based. If he was a betting man, he'd have placed all of his allowance on Rei actually being shy about things just then. "Key to her apartment or something," he joked.

Sliding Rei's box back into his satchel, Shinji swallowed hard and pulled out his wallet. "A-actually it is," he winced as the two boys gasped and shouted twin 'yeah!'s. Setting Rei's door key in the same fold of his wallet as his own key, his face went to full red. "It's not what you think! S-she never locked her door before, said she had nothing worth protecting. I-I d-disagreed with her and insisted she keep the door locked. Well it made things strange when I came over to cook so…" he rolled his hand over and tried to not embarrass himself more. It didn't help that Rei's actions had been heavily watched and several groups of people, men and women alike, were talking and pointing at him.

Grabbing Kensuke's hand, Touji shot them both up in a victory V. His jostling knocked the remnants of Shinji's lunch onto the ground making a very nice mess of things, but who the hell cared. "Shin-man's got the key to paradise and a free invitation to use it! You can NOT deny she's got something for ya now! Girl doesn't look at a single guy, let alone give her key to nobody till you show up! You that girl's man now," Touji slurred happily.

The duo would have continued to provoke and goad Shinji into some sort of confession had they not overheard something rather unexpected. "Soryu is going to talk to Ayanami!" a random boy rush along shouting. The two most attractive girls in the class meeting officially on campus for the first time was going to be an event for the ages! The trio joined the growing throng of followers, Touji kept his eye on Shinji however, hoping that the joking had some staking in reality.

X-X

Things were going a lot better than she would have initially thought. The school was what she feared yet expected, but Asuka could adapt. Just like in Germany the students were easily grouped into three categories. The sheep, the wolves, and the geeks and it was evident that she was already the head wolf. The girls fawned over her looks, style, and western sophistication. Having her degree in psychology, Asuka took great pleasure in analyzing everything that came about. While it was a possibility they were lying of faking, she was typically able to evaluate just how an approaching classmate would talk based on body language.

It was a sad truth that the boys were of lesser stock than she was used to, however. They were attractive yes, strong jawed and muscular just like back in Germany, but their goals were much more…upfront and obvious. While the boys she used to deal with would try to be subversive about the whole issue, the Japanese boys just up and laid it on the table. They wanted her to be their girlfriend, and they expected pussy on date three. Ta-ta boys, it wasn't nice knowing you, as she didn't get to know them at all.

Yet the love letters poured into her shoebox. At times it frustrated her, she almost stomped on them one day, but she'd at least honor the courage it took to deliver the card. Each day she gathered the passive attempt to woo her, read them, and then dispose of them. Some promised fancy meals and gifts, others were more blunt and basic. She did not need to know that Koji had a seven inch penis and knew how to use it, but alas she did now.

As for the girls, Asuka preferred the Japanese women over the German equivalents. It could have been due to the fact she spent most of her time around adults or college students, but the girl's in her class seemed nicer, or at the least easier to read. They were clingers, followers, or backstabbers. The class-representative did prove that exceptions to the mold could exist however, Hikari was an instant friend the moment the girl told Asuka that the neural interfaces she wore weren't school approved. Girl had guts, knew basic fashion, and was easy to talk to.

As she strolled down the sun bleached sidewalk towards the spot she was told Rei spends her post-eating lunch time, Asuka's step had a skip in it. Shinji…that boy was going to push her to higher grounds whether he liked it or not. The first impression had been spot on, he was meek when fate allowed it, but if necessary he became steel. Today's spar had been a test of how much it would take to make him fight back. He did so wonderfully and even beat her legitimately enough for Misato to call a draw. She savored that, somebody that could challenge her! Somebody that forced her to get better, somebody to improve along side her, and…secretly…a male that wasn't under Misato's spell.

But her anticipation for a good rival had to take a back seat at the moment. It was time for her to get to know her lesser rival. Ayanami Rei had been present at their tests, but since Unit-00 was still being repaired hadn't participated in much. Asuka tried to keep tabs on the girl, but the aloof albino had left long before the match ended. Knowing almost nothing about Rei save what happened in the past, and a few rumors the girls were saying about Shinji and her, Asuka was going to change that. She just hoped the crowd tagging along didn't affect things.

Coming up behind that mop of unruly blue hair she'd only spied a few times, Asuka glanced over Rei's shoulder. " ello, Ayanami, how are you today?" she tried sounding friendly. Asuka didn't buy the 'Rei is dating Shinji' rumors simply because she knew the facts. Shinji had helped the girl be freed of a nasty situation, so Rei was likely not in the market for a boyfriend. Watching as Rei moved her book out from under her shadow, Asuka focused on the title on top of the page, "What you reading?"

"A book Dr. Yamaguchi suggested," Rei's deadpan delivery was followed with her shutting the book and setting it down. "What did you want, Second?" Rei asked glancing over her shoulder at the confident German. Spinning in her seat, the backless bench allowed for the two pilots to follow their exchange face to face.

Sticking her hand out, Asuka didn't care if the Japanese tradition was to avoid touching, she smiled broadly. "I wanted to say 'hi' since we haven't had chance to talk at Nerv. And I wanted to say we should be friends," her head bobbed ever so slightly to her own inner logic. Reading Rei's facial expression was hard, one might have said beyond Asuka's capability. There was almost nothing there, save a hint of annoyance, but at what she couldn't grasp.

Glancing over Asuka's shoulder, Rei's eyes widened a smidgen. "If I am ordered to I will," she glanced down at the book on her lap. She fingered the edges of the text before setting it to her side. "Was their anything else?" her voice hitched ever the slightest amount.

Her hand hung in the air for a few moments before she groaned inwardly and sat down next to Rei. "Why only if ordered? Do I upset you, something about me you don't like?" Asuka asked with genuine interest. Acting the way she did, Asuka knew a lot of others wouldn't like her, but she didn't give a rat's ass about them. Rei however, Asuka was going to put her safety in this girl's hands at times and wanted said girl to care enough to try and save her if the time came for it.

Showing no inclination of whether Asuka's proximity bothered her or not, Rei continued to stare off into the gathering of students. "I see no purpose in being friends. As for like or dislike, is see no purpose to care one way or the other. So to reiterate, I will care if ordered to," Rei's nose scrunched up a tiny amount before she clenched the book harder.

It was going to be a low blow, but Asuka had to get through the girl's defenses somehow. "What about Shinji? Were you ordered to talk to him? Ordered to be his friend?" Asuka saw the boy in question on the far side of the group. Such concern and worry on his face made his motives far easier to read. Asuka knew Shinji was concerned not only about Rei but both of them. Odd how he could be so expressive when they were far away, but up close Shinji was almost as allusive as her current prey. "Would you stop talking to him, or at the least eating the food he makes if ordered?" Asuka had seen that little act, and earned the boy a few more points in her book.

The book fell out of her open hands, and it clattered to the ground amid ruffling pages. "I-Ikari-kun's actions are his own. I did not advocate his taking up the task he set himself up on," something dangerous edged into her tone. "If I were ordered, I would," she swallowed and dipped her head, "stop all interaction with him."

"That's sad," Asuka's tone was one of extreme shock. "Look, I'm obviously not going to convince you of this now. But how about this then? I'll leave the invitation open for you. If you ever do feel like talking to somebody else, somebody not Shinji, know that you can talk to me. I know about…" Asuka rolled her eyes and flinched towards the crowd. "So if there is something you want to talk about, but think talking to a boy is strange, come to me," she smacked Rei's back hard but playfully. "And you seriously need to get over this ordering business. I won't let any of those crotchety old bastards tell me who or who I can't talk to with my private time. And if you really think you'd stop talking to that lil rival of mine if ordered, you don't know yourself very well," with another wave Asuka hopped off the bench and headed back to the throng of humanity.

It was subtle, but Asuka had sensed it from the highly defensive Ayanami. Rei's dropping of the book had been the final stray that she felt 'something' for Shinji. Love, friendship, or maybe just a sense of gratitude, something dwelled inside that girl regarding her rival. It had taken a lot in her not to get upset at Rei's refusal to at least shake hands, but Asuka would be the better woman and let it be water under the bridge. What happened to Rei, Asuka wouldn't wish on her worst enemy, and that likely shifted the girl into a dangerous place. Give the girl time, keep reiterating the fact that she would be open and available to talk to, and maybe in time Rei would open up.

If not however, it was Rei's loss, not hers. Asuka had her pick of friends, and her pick of the litter of would by suitors. She wasn't in the market, but it was nice to know…but when she ever brought them home, they'd see Misato. Seeing the pinnacle of sexiness and mature beauty and then…well Asuka would not suffer a male that saw her as second. On her way back to class, Asuka chatted up a few of the girl's who showed an proficiency towards make-up and perfume, maybe they'd help narrow the gap between her guardian and her.

X-X

While he had expected some blow back from his actions little over a week ago, Kaji hadn't expected the absolute frigged atmosphere in the apartment. Shinji took it just as Kaji expected, the boy showed no outward sign of pain but spent more time in his room than before. A few well time chats with the boy, Kaji hinted that he hadn't left him on purpose, and got the feeling Shinji was starting to come back around to at least talking openly to him. Ritsuko however, well Kaji was still sleeping on the couch.

Today went exceptionally poorly for the man, as Misato's whelp went and pushed her way further into venues of annoyance. Setting up mock battle just to see how she faired against Shinji was stupid. Thankfully no damage occurred to the Units or the Geo-Front, but it was a needless activity! All to stoke the girl's ego, well Shinji stuck it to her just as hard as she did him. Three points to three points and then Kaji forced Misato to end the farce.

During this whole event of heightened maturity, Kaji couldn't help but notice Ritsuko never left her lab. She never left the lab anymore, Kaji realized, not when Misato was on shift. The good doctor just stayed holed up in that room, coming up with a vast array of excuses as to why she couldn't be bothered. Kaji saw that fearful expression every day, and it was eating at him. But he couldn't do anything about it as Ritsuko was still giving him the cold shoulder. Funny how the boy Ritsuko got mad over was further along the road of forgiveness than she was.

It was time to put a stop to that though. Maybe Misato was going to hate him for the rest of her life, but Kaji wasn't going to let the unexplained rift exist between Ritsuko and Misato. They would be friends or nothing, Kaji wasn't going to let Ritsuko hide from it anymore. If given the opportunity he'd talk to Misato about what happened regarding the sudden relationship, but well Misato wasn't talking to him about non-work items at the moment either.

Kicking his feet off, Kaji sniffed the air, with no scent of food in the air he groaned. "And here I thought I'd get a good meal in before I go and throw gas on this fire," he muttered as he loosened his tie. Maybe that was for the best though, with nothing else to do, he could get right at his little talk with Ritsuko. Love of his life or not, Ritsuko could be just so stubborn at times. "Rits-chan I know you're here, log said you left a good hour before I did today," he called out as he hung his jacket up leaving him only in his white t-shirt.

"Spying on me now are you? Or were you just making sure you had more time to do your little games?" Ritsuko called from the couch. Laptop on her stomach, head on the arm rest, the woman was taking up every cushion. "And I'll have you know that I went in four hours early to work on the Dummy Plug, so don't give me shit about leaving early," she spat out as she saved her report. "And yes 'he' was there, I think the bastard is on the fence of sanity, only I don't know what side he's on," she shuddered and closed her computer.

Taking one of the open chairs, Kaji turned off the news report and set the remote down with excessive force. "Baby, I think its time we have a talk. Things haven't been the same since, well since she came back. We need to talk about this, and I want you to listen to me, and not be blinded by my needing to follow my orders back on that ship," he saw her legs, those fine and taught limbs swing over the couch instantly. She was wicked pissed still, but they'd played this song and dance before.

Setting the laptop on the coffee table, Ritsuko tugged at her collar, her blue shirt was still tucked into her black skirt. "And what do we have to talk about regarding that? Misato coming back and you spending so much time with her, you just up and leaving Shinji alone without so much as a word, or how you forced me to be the one to get him?" with each question she extended a finger and pointed to it. "So which should we start with?" she balled her fist and tried to glare down the man.

If Misato knew how much Ritsuko feared her, Kaji half suspected it would have made the woman hysterical. So many fights reverted into the big 'you love Misato more than me' argument, that both of them knew was utter bullshit. But Ritsuko just was living in fear, fear of replacement or abandonment. Funny, maybe that's why she was so upset about what he did to Shinji, she was superimposing her feelings onto him.

"Baby, you know I love you, know I'm not going to leave you, and you have to stop withdrawing into yourself like this," Kaji reached out to grab her arm, but she drew away from him. "Is Shinji here right now?" Kaji flicked his head towards the boy's room. He'd talk more openly if the boy wasn't, but if Shinji was around certain words would be edited.

"In his room from the moment he got home, no thanks to you. I have hard enough time getting along with him on a good day, and now he's terrified we're just going to chuck him out the door again I bet," Ritsuko crossed her legs and sneered. Her upper leg jerked and bounced with boundless energy, "But that little fact must have been lost on you in your quest to be Gendo's lapdog."

With a mighty sigh, Kaji resigned himself to his fate. It was going to be one of those types of fights. One the plus side it was going to end with them in bed together, on the bad he was going to have to utterly break Ritsuko down to get over her mental walls. "If I had stayed like I WANTED to, I would have been ratted out by somebody, and I'd likely be dead or fired right now. Shinji accepts this, why can't you?" he said point blank. It was true, enough people on that ship, Gendo would have gotten one to talk eventually and with the delicate tightrope he was on, Kaji would have fallen.

Tilting her head to the side, putting her finger to her cheek in a move Kaji many times said he hated, Ritsuko acted the dumb blond. "I don't know, maybe because he's a teenager or maybe because he actually looks up to you, why I don't know," she tried to be hurtful. "But foregoing that little fact, what about the other two issues, Kaji-kun?" she uncrossed and re-crossed her legs.

"Well I can't help the timing of the flight, and I don't trust anybody else to get him other than you, so you'll have to forgive me for not being the master of space and time," Kaji's own anger was getting the better of him. That damn haughty manner, how was purposefully goading him by acting exactly how he hated. She was to smart to act like the fool, she was better than that. But when she wanted to get under his skin, out comes the stupidity quirks. "As for Misato, she's not said a word to me that wasn't related to work! The only reason I have been spending time with her is to fill her in on the duties we'll be sharing since Kozo went to the funny farm!" he shouted exactly the wrong words.

Getting off the couch, Ritsuko paced around it, dragging her left foot as she went, nearly tripping over Artemis. "So you admit to spending time with her at work, you could just as easily write a report or have one of your subordinates do it, but no. The great Kaji has to spend his personal time at work with the one that got away," Ritsuko stomped her foot, but the quiver in her voice was evident.

And there it was, her real fear made evident through all the posturing and masks. "Ritsuko, honey," Kaji stood up and tried to grab her on one of her passes and missed. "You just need to talk to Misato, alright? You'll understand that nothing is going on between us, nothing will! She was your friend before she was mine. Don't let us being together ruin that, you'll never be that close again, but maybe something still exists," he pleaded and actually managed to snag her on her next lap.

Fighting against him as he held her back to his chest, Ritsuko squirmed. "TALK To her? What do I say to her, Kaji?" Ritsuko pulled her arms up and thrust them against Kaji's embrace braking free. "Sorry while you were gone I stole your ex-boyfriend? Or how about 'I know you still love him, but tough shit, lets be friends?' that would be rich!" Ritsuko's mask of control cracked more and more. Taking several deep breaths, dangerously close to hyperventilating, "She hates me Kaji! How can she not!"

That was unexpected, another reason for her upset nature. Kaji hadn't expected that one, that Ritsuko did fear losing Misato's friendship. How Ritsuko could care when Misato abandoned both of them, and left Ritsuko to fend for herself when she was facing whatever darkness was in her past. Ritsuko just cared to much, yet hardly anybody knew it.

"We should end this farce and you should just go to her now…leave the broken and spoiled bitch behind and start anew," Ritsuko finally sobbed and ran off to their shared bedroom with a slam of the door. Sobs emanated from the room, languished and broken. But for the first time in a week, honesty in her actions.

Gazing at his feet, Kaji hated having to do this to her on occasion, but it was the only way to help her. Knocking on Shinji's door, the man had his wallet out as it opened. "I'm sure you heard some of that, so be a sport and go out and get some supper or see a movie on me?" Kaji winked at Shinji with a sad smile. Handing over a few bills, the spy ruffled Shinji's head. "Don't worry, this happens to her from time to time. She keeps so much inside that it spills over, and at times like this I have to push that bucket over to get all the bad out. She'll be fine," Kaji was amazed at how Shinji seemed distraught.

"O-ok, Kaji-san. I'll be back in a fe-few hours," Shinji scrambled out of the apartment with the money stuffed deep down in his pockets.

Kaji, after hearing the door close, headed to the kitchen and poured two shots of bourbon. One was for him, the other Ritsuko. The liquid burnt down his throat causing his eyes to water, he poured himself another shot. For all the pain she caused though, Kaji was believed she was worth it. He found her like he expected, curled up in the bed, and after a good hour of just holding her, no words, they broke apart, drank their drink, and made love.

X-X

The venues of the shopping arcade were packed with late afternoon shoppers hunting for the best deals. It was a scene Shinji was familiar with, he did most of the shopping for the apartment after moving in. But what he wanted to do now was just walk. Walk from stall to stall, street to street, and just watch the people go about their normal boring lives. He envied them. They were simple happy families without much care, as they weren't responsible for the continued safety of the city.

A mother slapped her son on the hand for taking a bite of an apple, nothing big but it was something Shinji couldn't identify with. Normal family interaction and affection, it seemed so strange to see. For the left behind, the unwanted such as himself, he saw those small acts as something marvelous. The crying child didn't know his mother punished him to prevent future problems, all he knew was the immediate pain, lucky him.

With his hands in his pockets his left curled around the wad of bills he got from Kaji, Shinji wafted down the from the grocery section towards the entertainment venue. It was to late to see a move, but the arcade was open, and he could grab something light on the way back home…well the apartment. It might never truly be a home, regardless of how they treated him. He'd always feel like an outsider, the cold stillness between Ritsuko and him was testament to that.

Kaji's reasoning for leaving the ship when it was attack made sense to Shinji, even if it was a lie at least Kaji had the decency to lie about it. Nobody wanted to die, not even him, so why shouldn't Kaji have left given the option. As shitty as life got, it was never bad enough to throw in the towel. If Ayanami could continue with life after what happened to her, Shinji couldn't quit and show what a coward he was.

The only thing that could have made his walk better was if he had his music player. Turn up the sound, turn off the brain, and watch humanity at its best flitter away their lives. As he moved deeper into the division the populous changed from adults to teenagers. Small gatherings of friends passed by without noticing him, it was the normal. Outside of Nerv and those who knew he was a pilot, Shinji lead the life of an unknown and uncared for.

He wasn't attractive enough to garner attention or ugly enough to be spurned. Normal in every regard, and compiled with his fear of others meant he passed through the crowd like a shadow, a wrath among the living. Exactly how he wished it to be, because if they didn't see you they couldn't hurt you. If you never got involved with somebody they couldn't leave you. Nice and safe, peaceful yet boring.

Fate however, is always ready to throw exactly what a person doesn't want at them when they aren't paying attention. As he turned down the avenue to the arcade, Shinji was stopped at the sight of a small blockade of people gawking at something. He could hear broken bits of their conversations, most sounded like a fight was about to occur. While normally he'd not have cared, let those who want to fight fight, Shinji saw something unexpected flair up through the throng.

A bright cropping of red hair, familiar red hair. It might have been a dye job, the city was rife with odd hair styles lately, but Shinji had to examine closer. What if it was Asuka and something happened to her that he could have helped prevent, just like with Ayanami Shinji found his body moving in exact contrast to the life he wished to live. Pushing his way through the larger than initially expected crowd, Shinji broke through and saw a vision of pure dread. There was Asuka, confidently/smugly staring down a man at least four years her elder.

"Look I know you think you're hot shit because your some foreigner or something, but nobody tells me to 'fuck off' do you understand?" Kazuharu Fukuyama bellowed as he glared down at the offensive teenager. "I've known women far superior to you and your smug little tight ass, now if you apologize to me, maybe I won't have to take this further," he adjusted his white gloved hands.

Her grin peeled back revealing her gleaming teeth, Asuka was loving this little exchange by every indication. "Oh, did poor baby have his ego hurt by the wittle girl that turned him down?" Asuka cooed and batted her eyes mockingly. "Your money means nothing to me, and likely all those 'superior' women were simply after you for your money. You don't have a personality worth caring about if I impeded your manhood so easily," she turned her back to him. Holding her hand up fingers about an inch apart, "This look accurate?"

Oh hell this was stupid, terribly terribly stupid of him, but Shinji was rushing the damn man. If Asuka knew the guy finally snapped, fist drawn back and ready to strike, she made no indication. But he couldn't just let her get hurt over it! He heard the collective gasp of the crowd, either by the fact the man was going to punch a girl from behind or that Shinji had entered the fray he didn't know, let along care.

Time slowed, his vision tunneled and the only thing he saw was the man in his white suit. It was going to hurt, like every interaction with people did, but at least it was just going to be physical pain. Pushing Asuka's back, he sent her teetering forward as the blow landed on the side of his face sending him to the ground. Oh yeah, that bastard could throw a mean punch.

Getting back to his feet, Shinji saw the shocked look on the man's face. "W-what kind of man hits a girl in the back?" Shinji was able to muster as the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. Damn that hurt, hit him right in the temple making his vision swim and his balance was all kinds of messed up. Why had he been so stupid! Asuka egged the man on, didn't that mean she deserved the hit herself, yet there he was gazing up at the furious man.

"Oh so a white knight rides in to save the fair damsel in distress?" Kuzuhara mocked. Grabbing the challenger's collar, he lifted the bag if twigs Shinji was off his heels. "This girl isn't worth it, but you know? If you want to take her beating for her, at least it means I didn't hit a girl after all," he wound back his fist and let fly.

Asuka easily caught it, and held it. "Shinji, Shinji, Shinji I had it all under control, but the act was noted," she winked at her flinching boy. Squeezing the wrist in her hand tighter, Asuka managed to get such a shrill yelp of pain from Kuzuhara it was like tuning a musical instrument. "I expected a punch, not a shove, but oh well we learn to improvise," she giggled and pushed Shinji's chest and he fell back to the ground staring up at the two locked in a close embrace.

Kuzuhara tried to break out of the bitch's hold, but wouldn't you know it she was stronger than he was. "Let go, I-I-I'll pay you?' he whimpered as the feral gleam in his opponents eyes danced wickedly. Her smile was radiant though, and for a second she lessoned her grip, only to flip him on his back, jump in the air, and land on his stomach. Using the blow as a spring board she leapt off, into a back flip, and landed on her feet. He had passed out as soon as she landed.

Helping Shinji to his feet, Asuka's ferocity was still radiating out of her. "I've studied martial arts, Shinji. I knew he was going to attack me and I was going to deal with it. So why did you feel the sudden urge to get plowed," she asked as she dusted him off. Grabbing his jaw she turned his head from side to side, and with one open eye examined his face. "Going to bruise, nothing to bad though," was her analysis.

Heading over to a bench as he watched an unscrupulous man mug the downed Kuzuhara and disappear into the crowd, Shinji sat heavily. "I-I don't know really. I just saw the crowd and then saw your hair so I came to investigate. When you turned your back and he balled his fist…" Shinji shrugged. It was the truth, he had no good explanation for his actions. He just didn't want something to happen to her if he could have prevented it. How was he supposed to know she was capable of such acts of self-defense anyway!

"I'll go grab you a cold soda or something to help with the swelling," Asuka just shook her head. The expression on her face shifted from jovial animalistic tendencies to a softer grin. Scampering off to a nearby vending machine she made her selection. Handing him the can, "Just don't open it, that's for me after it warms as my victory prize. Guys like that," Asuka thumbed over at the pile of defeated male, "Never be like that jerk or I'll have to do the same to you."

Such confidence, utter and profound sense of self, Shinji envied Asuka at that moment. The sun catching her darker foreign skin and hair, covered her in an aura of flame. Unadulterated beauty, pure and simple, and it pained Shinji to see it. Girls like her would never talk to him, and the only reason Asuka favored him so much as a 'how do you do' was because of Nerv and Eva. With how much he cursed his fate to be a pilot, it had brought him much.

Opening his mouth to talk, Shinji dibbled blood down his shirt and pants, a wonderful show of his victory. Taking the offered tissues from Asuka, he dabbed his mouth. It hurt to talk, but the more he said the less it stung. "Don't think I could be like him, don't have the confidence to talk to strangers like that," he smiled a bight and that hurt like a flaming bitch. "Sorry I disrupted your plan, I didn't know," he shrugged a bit. The few people that remained from the gathering had moved into the arcade, a few were keeping tabs on the talking pair, most laughing at Shinji for having his girl fight for him.

"Don't apologize, Shinji, and unless you were spying on my files, making you a creepy pervert, why would you know that I've a third degree black-belt," Asuka shrugged and sat next to Shinji on the bench. "And for what it's worth you gave me the chance to really punish that slime for the pain he deserved," she spat out at the unconscious body. "Can you believe he hit on me and gets all riled up after I tell him to leave, he presses, I press back, and well you saw the end of it. Seriously, men to full of themselves need to be taken down a peg, seriously," she slapped Shinji's back playfully.

Pitching forward from the unexpected force, Shinji nearly dropped the can of soothing coldness. Just what was this creature next to him? She was his exact opposite it seemed. Happy, skilled, and ready to tell anybody and everybody her opinion. "W-well I've seen a couple of guys ask you out so t-that part is easy to believe, the rest," he tapped his lip again and when finding no new blood handed Asuka the can. "Must feel nice to know people are at least interested in you," he said whimsically and soft enough he thought nobody heard him.

Shinji was wrong however as Asuka responded to his little self debasement. "From what I hear from the girls one or two have their eye on you so you have that going for you. And I'll give you another point for not flaunting your pilot status, I'd have to administer a little pain if I'd have heard you did that," popping the top of her can, Asuka drained it in one gulp. "We're pilots' cause they can't be, we're better than they are because of that. But we can't just sit on our laurels and let those little people feed us candies. We owe it to them to get better, we owe it to them to keep them safe. We…I…have to project those who can't project themselves," her eyes lost focus as she gazed off into the horizon, her inner demons speaking to her in words only she could hear.

Lost in the mystery this new girl presented to him, Shinji left her alone for a good ten minutes as Asuka said nothing and was content to stare off. When she did come back to the world of thinking she asked him where they were off to. It was fate that brought them together, so they ought to make the most of it. With nothing really so say, Shinji offered to take her on one of his favorite walking paths, and get some quick food. As they walked, Asuka commenting that the path would be great for her morning jog, Shinji didn't learn much about the girl.

She could talk, and did so ad nausea, but once she came back from her lost thoughts she said nothing of real depth. Mostly talked about how life at the barracks was dull and she couldn't wait to get into an apartment. Asuka asked a few questions about Kaji and Ritsuko, to which Shinji replied about the fight he heard. Time flew by, and before he knew it, it was time for him to head home. With a pat to his cheek from Asuka, Shinji found his chest constricted, his head confused, but when he reminded himself it wasn't going to be the happy movie ending, the depression came back. Like the old friend that it was, it wrapped around Shinji comfortingly and reminded him that nothing would be what he wanted.

At least the apartment was quite when he got home, a few muffled cries from the shared bedroom told Shinji what was happening behind it. Another of life's joys he'd never know. No matter, if the urge came, and it seldom did, his hand would be good enough.

X-X

Authors notes

It's a tricky thing keeping Asuka the way I want her. I don't want this to come off to strong one way or the other for our favorite latex wearing pilots, but I don't want it too depressing either. Well hope it works out. This was a more 'depressing' chapter but not all will be that way.

On a side note, I've gotten a few reviews regarding this story and my current love hina story 'or get off the pot' and I'll ask you this. Am I going to slow with these, pacing wise?

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	8. Chapter 8

Standard Disclaimer

Well Christmas is over and New Year's is approaching, hope you got some nice stuff and had a good time. Mine went very well, ate a bit too much but I can live with it. As you likely noticed my chapters have been coming out erratically, blame the holidays for it. Soon I'll be back on track as nothing will be happening that affects me.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 8

Target the center of mass, adjust for distance and wind speeds, squeeze the trigger do not pull it, and fire. Rapid muzzle flashes and searing hot empty bullet casings ejected from the chamber as Kaji fired his entire clip. Heat and the smell of ozone greeted him as he lowered his weapon and took off his earphones. Hitting the recall button, he pulled back his practice target. "Like I said guys, its all about keeping calm and not tensing up, right Maya?" he tore his paper off the clip and handed it to Makoto.

Gazing down at the humanoid overlay on paper, Makoto poked his finger through two of the holes. They were all in the center of mass, all kill shots, and the man sighed. "I could practice all day everyday for a month and not get shots off like this. You've a talent for this, I'll keep saying it Kaji," the timid man handed the paper over to Shigeru.

Calling back her own target, Maya chuckled and tore off her own. It was almost as good as Kaji's, though two shots did miss. "It's not like this really matters much. I can shoot this just fine, but I doubt I could ever really fire at a person," she held the paper out from her body and examined it before balling it up and tossing it in the garbage. "But enough of this, why did you want us down in the shooting range anyway Makoto?" Maya asked as she ejected the clip from the range's provided gun and handing it over.

Taking the still warm handgun, Makoto slid his clip in and headed to the edge of the range. "Well it's been awhile since we talked, all of us. Things have been different since Katsuragi and the Second Child showed up. They've been here for about a month now and…well I don't know how to say it really," the man petered off. Putting his earplugs in, the man flipped off the safety and fired. He hit the target six times, only two in lethal areas.

Leaning against the wall, Shigeru laughed ruefully as Makoto called back his sheet. "With shooting like that I'm glad you're not piloting an Eva, we'd all be doomed," he grabbed Makoto's shoulder and gave it a tug. "But I know what he means, Akagi-san hasn't been around much, that girl makes us run all kinds of strange scenarios, and the other pilots are just off. What do you make out of all of it Kaji?" he turned the man they all used to answer to.

Kaji saw Misato's entrance, and he wasn't surprised by it. Misato had a way of making waves wherever she went, and Nerv was no different. "I for one am glad she's here, I'm not half the tactician she is. So having her come up with the strategies is a good thing. As for Ritsuko, well she's been under a lot of stress lately with being put on assignment with him," Kaji lied as fluidly as ever. While Ritsuko and his relationship was back in the pink, Kaji could still see that fear in Ritsuko's eyes whenever Shinji mentioned Misato.

"Anything I can do to help Sempai out?" Maya quipped as she took the gun back from Makoto and started for the door. "At times she gets very defensive, or just spaces out, but she never did that before Katsuragi showed up," Maya turned the gun back in to the range manager.

That was an understatement, but Kaji had a plan to force Ritsuko into finally confronting Misato. Whatever came out of it, friendship, bitter enemies, or simply an understanding he'd never guess but it was time for the pussyfooting to end. Following closely behind Maya, favoring himself a small peek, "Not really, her project is highly classified so there is nothing anybody can really do to help her. As for Katsuragi, well the three of us have a complicated past," he just shrugged and hoped the others didn't press.

Hands in pocket, Shigeru followed Kaji's example and let his eyes drift south of Maya's border. Watching the swaying petit rump, "What about that Second Child? I've never seen a kid so damn incensed on being the best at what they do before, and the way she badges the Third, man I feel sorry for that boy." Smacking the elevator button with his palm, Shigeru nodded to some internal thought that went unspoken.

"Girl defiantly knows what she wants, and she's going to get it one way or another," Maya added with a hint of anger. "You live with Ikari-kun, what does he have to say regarding the Second's attitude towards him?" she tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator door refused to open.

Was that jealousy in Maya's voice that Kaji heard? While he joked with Ritsuko that they should ask Maya to give Shinji a confidence fuck, he had thought he was just looking to deeply into things. "While I think Soryu is a bad influence on Shinji, forcing him to go at her pace, Ritsuko seems to think it's good for both of them. Girl has a stick shoved up her ass so far its coming out her mouth, and I think Misato put it there," Kaji rolled his eyes and clenched his fist. "Why do these damn elevators take so damn long," he fussed.

"So no truth to the rumor that the Second and Third are an item?" Makoto asked as he pulled at the heel of his shoe. "I heard from Akito down in the LCL factory that he saw the girl all over the Third after their tests yesterday," he ground his foot back on the ground with a satisfied smile.

Chuckling Shigeru's head wobbled from side to side, "For a man with a phantom girlfriend, you spend a lot of time thinking about other women. First you pine after that Katsuragi, now you're talking about her ward." Wincing as Makoto's fist bounced off his shoulder, Shigeru rubbed at the well earned blow. "Just kidding man, but are we EVER going to see this woman of yours?" he at least sounded sincere.

"That gives me an idea!" Kaji chirped as the door finally opened. "Double date, Ritsuko and I and you two, how about it?" Kaji held his hand to the elevator door keeping it open. If he didn't force Ritsuko out of the apartment, Kaji half suspected the woman would never leave except for work and groceries. She acted like she hated going out with him, but Kaji could tell that she enjoyed it but it was a thing Ritsuko just never thought about doing personally.

"Oh! Can we make it a triple? I'll go with Maya so we can all see this mystery woman?" Shigeru asked. Hitting the button for the command deck, his excitement was smeared over his face like bad makeup. "Hell if you really want bring those kids too so we can gauge if that firebrand really does have plans to hook her talons into that boy," he was alive with pent up energy.

No, defiantly not! Kaji wasn't going to let his idea, which did have two purposes, get out of his control. "Rits-baby doesn't like big crowds, and I do NOT want Shinji off with that girl," Asuka reminded Kaji too much of how Misato had been years ago. But Kaji wanted, aside from helping Ritsuko relax a bit, was to see this mystery woman too. Makoto might have been compromised, and this woman was just a spy using the lonely man's weakness to exploit secrets.

"I guess I can ask Aoi-chan about it, she does like going out," Makoto couldn't have sounded more reluctant if somebody was pulling out his teeth. As the elevator chimed and its door opened, he shuffled towards the entrance with the rest of them. "I'll ask her and let you know once we come up with something, alright?" Makoto relented.

Makoto's hero worship again made Kaji both happy and sad. Happy he got what he wanted, sad that Makoto was so easy to goad. "Excellent, I'll let Ritsuko know," and he knew where to find her. Since Misato was on base, Ritsuko would be hiding in her lab. For an adult, Ritsuko was so childish at times it made Kaji want to laugh. "Mind coming over to watch the apartment, Maya? I don't think I want to leave Shinji-kun alone with Asuka being only two blocks away," Kaji hated how almost all Nerv apartments were within walking distance to each other.

Her face going a light pink, Maya just waved her hands, "I don't think that's necessary Kaji. From what I see in him, I doubt you have to worry about Ikari-kun being left alone." Shuffling quickly past Kaji, Maya tumbled back into him as the alarm klaxons started going off.

Holding the startled Maya in his arms, Kaji felt a chill worm into his body. "Angel attack," he muttered. It was time to toss his boy off to the wolves and pray Shinji didn't die. It was hard, harder than he ever thought possible. Before letting Shinji into his life, Kaji had never wanted children, laughed at the very idea of it. But he felt now, that maybe this is how a father felt when he watched his son join the military.

X-X

Well that went just as horribly as possible. Walking down the long bland corridor to the physical training room, Misato was livid. Her debut as tactical commander ruined by Asuka's over confidence and disobeying orders! Time and time again Misato reminded Asuka to follow orders, to listen to her when she had something to say, and what did Asuka due? Rush off without even so much as a probing shot to gauge the angel's reaction.

Slowing her walk, Misato spied something else strange, the First Child was standing outside her destination in naught but a swimsuit, water droplets, and a confused expression. Well she'd worry about whatever the Commander's little pet pilot was doing later, now was time for a reprimand. As much as it pained her, the Third Child totally outclassed and overshadowed Asuka during the battle. He listened to orders, adapted when necessary, and provided a long enough deterrent to fully understand what they were up against before being overwhelmed, all while Asuka was already incapacitated.

"Something going on in there that shouldn't be, Ayanami?" Misato joked as she tapped Rei's shoulder. The girl jumped the tiniest amounts, and that brought a smile to Misato's face. Ayanami Rei was human after all, despite all she'd seen over the last month. Misato swore that the only two people to get any form of emotional response from the girl were the two Ikari men. "They've cloths on I hope?" Misato teased further.

With her cover blown, Rei stood up tall and saluted Misato. "They are clothed, and they are not involved in any activity that is prohibited," but Rei's voice had a strange hint to it, indecipherable but not her normal. "Though I would suggest that it be stopped before the Second causes Ikari-kun damage," Rei flung the door open and waltzed in.

Puzzled over why Rei had been hiding and what the girl meant, Misato just shrugged and followed. Misato was to upset with Asuka right now to worry about some teenager's confused hormones. Sure Shinji did in a way save Ayanami, Misato saw nothing the girl did as any evidence to be worried about. In fact, Misato was taking a shine to the timid boy, Kaji was doing a good job raising him quite to her disbelief.

"Asuka you have a lot to answer for, my humiliation for having to turn command over to the damn JSSDF for starters," Misato bellowed in her most authoritative voice. When she came across the two wayward pilots however, Misato came to a full stop. Leave it to Asuka to take out her frustrations with her fists. It was something Misato couldn't break the girl of, when Asuka got upset or frustrated the girl just had to hit things.

Clad in a Gi and sparing gloves, Asuka had her hair tied back in a ponytail and was pouring buckets of sweat. "Right, left, left, right, right, kick," Asuka rattled off as she attacked her sparing partner. Hitting the padded gloves Shinji was wearing every time, Asuka failed to mention what leg she was going to use and promptly sent Shinji to the ground. "Oops, sorry about that Shinji," she offered her hand to pull him up.

"Asuka Langley Soryu, what do you have to say for yourself regarding the mission you just botched?" Misato asked once she again was capable of talking. Judging from Shinji's haggard posture and the few bruises on his face and legs, Misato wisely guessed Asuka had been abusing the lad since they were released from their Eva's. "Well I'm waiting for an explanation," Misato crossed her arms and walked right up to the two.

Taking a towel from a bench, Rei stepped past Misato and handed it to Shinji. "Are you hurt, she missed her mark several times it appears," Rei's fingers traced a rather large discoloration on Shinji's cheek. Turning to Asuka she added, "Abusing a pilot when an Angel is present is very foolish."

Sneering at Rei, Asuka blew her off and grabbed a towel of her own. Pressing it to her head and neck, Asuka almost growled. "How was I supposed to know it could split it two? I took the initiative as you so often told me to do, I attack what appeared to be a weak opponent. As for you First, a few little love taps won't beat him down, so don't pamper him, right Shinji?" Asuka nodded as she tossed her gloves off into a corner.

Bearing her own fangs, Misato hated it when Asuka got so defensive, it made the girl impossible to talk to. But Misato knew the ways past those little safe guards all to well, and her sparing partner would make an excellent decoy. "Maybe you would have learned about its ability if you did what Shinji did?" Misato dropped Shinji's first name as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Misato knew Asuka's taste in boys was not right for her personality, but she suspected this Shinji would be a good fit even if Asuka didn't.

"I-I only found out thanks to Asuka taking the first attack though," Shinji tried to cover for Asuka. Flinching as Rei's cold hands poked and prodded his few bruises, Shinji tried to clean off the perspiration. "As for the rest, I just played defensively so it's not like I did anything special," he gushed. Finally having enough of Rei's probing, Shinji gently captured her hands, "I'm fine Ayanami, Asuka is right its not like it hurts much, nothing compared to…"

Stepping up to Shinji, Misato just smiled and drew him into a small hug. "No-no Shinji, you actually found out how they heal each others damage, saw the pattern in their attack, and kept them from destroying Unit-02!" Pushing the blushing boy away, Misato saw the fire back in Asuka's eyes just as she wanted. "So, I ask you Asuka, what will you do next time? Follow orders or rush off leaving Shinji to pick up the pieces?" it hurt to do it, but Misato had to make Asuka understand! This wasn't some test or drill anymore! The teenager had to listen now, it wasn't time to flaunt herself like back in Germany!

Grabbing Shinji away from Misato, a very irate German flung the boy towards the door. "Shameless! Not content with pining over the one that got away you have to go after…" Asuka closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Once calmed, she opened to see Misato still looking upset, "I'll listen, but only if I don't know for a fact that my plan is better. I'm sorry I over reacted, sorry I didn't listen, and I'm sorry I botched both of our first missions." Bowing slightly, Asuka kept her head down.

Ruffling Asuka's hair, Misato didn't miss the fact that the albino rushed out of the room after Shinji. If Misato didn't know better, she'd wager Asuka was going to have some competition if she ever realized that boy was a catch. "Good girl, but if you ever insinuate I still have feelings for that man whore I'm going to delete all your music," Misato gave Asuka's cheek a small and painless smack. She didn't still love Kaji, no that was foolish, it was illogical…it was a horrible reality.

Standing back up straight, Asuka looked about the room and found it was empty. "Damn he's gone, I wanted a few more rounds to get ride of this damn taste of failure. So what IS the plan then?" Asuka gathered her gear and stashed it back in her bag. Hoisting it over her shoulder, she stopped to grab Shinji's forgotten SDAT player. Popping a bud into her ear she turned it on, "I will not fail again. Oh he has nice taste in music."

Oh yes, Asuka was taking to this one differently than the other boys did, Misato smiled inwardly. It did Misato's heart and mind good to see Asuka interested in a boy that wasn't walking machismo. "I have no idea, Asuka. But we'll come up with something in the week we have before D-day," though the tremor in her voice didn't help with the confidence level.

"Oh there you are Katsuragi-san!" Maya said with a sense of jubilation. "I've been all over the base looking for you, Kaji-san wanted me to give you this," Maya handed over a disk before saluting and walking off.

"Girl doesn't like me at all," Misato said to Asuka as she held out the diskette. "Talk to Ritsuko," Misato read aloud what was written on the disks cover. "I have been avoiding her haven't I?" she said to herself as Asuka's head bobbed to Shinji's music. But what do you say to the woman with your ex? She didn't know the situation that brought them together, didn't know how stable the relationship was, and didn't truly know her own heart. But she just been given a ticket to learn, not that she realized it yet.

X-X

"I'm telling you man, something is strange about this whole setup, why isn't he at his apartment anymore?" Kensuke asked as Touji and he finished climbing the stairs. They missed the elevator by moments, some bitch got on before they could see anything but her skirt. "We have an angel attack, the thing is still around, and now Shinji's been moved? It's a conspiracy I tell you!" it had to be, why else wouldn't Shinji be at school?

His pinky in his left nostril, Touji showed just about as much thought he gave Kensuke's conspiracy theory. "Maybe they just needed more space for whatever training they have for him? Hell that devil hasn't been at school either," he shrugged and flicked his find off his finger at the wall. Walking past the elevator as the door opened, Touji spun to give the broad a piece of his mind, "Hey, why didn't you save the door for…class rep?"

Pushing his slipping glasses up, Kensuke fought to control his laugh. Of course it had to be the one girl Touji couldn't rage on leaving the jock standing stupidly. "What are you doing here Hokari?" he asked with a growing belief that maybe Touji was onto something. Stepping aside so the object of Touji's hidden affections, Kensuke believed anyway, could go past, he followed closely. "Here to see Shinji? How nice of you?" he loved watching Touji react as if hit.

Rolling her eyes, Hikari scoffed at the odd comment. "No, I'm on my way to visit Asuka, I'd ask why you two are at her apartment? Not trying to get more of those pictures I hope, I've been confiscating them all week!" she stomped her foot to emphasize her anger.

Keeping up with her, Kensuke pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket with the details he got from the man at Shinji's apartment. Coming to a stop when Hikari did, Kensuke could almost sense what was to come. "Wait, this is the place Shinji's at…you're saying this is Soryu's apartment?" a giddiness washed over Kensuke's voice. Maybe this would be just as fun as he suspected.

Pushing the buzzer, Hikari tugged at her collar, "Yeah this is Asuka's place…are you saying…" Hikari's eyes fluttered rapidly as the notion came to her as well. "You have to have gotten the wrong address, Ikari-kun can't be here!" she took a step away from the door as rustling could be heard behind it.

Pulling the door open, both Asuka and Shinji's heads popped though the crack, Asuka's on top and with a wide content smile. The pair spoke in unison, "You guys finally got here, we expected you to come earlier!" Asuka's voice overpowered and nearly drowned Shinji's out. It wasn't surprising as Shinji had the expression of somebody mortified while Asuka was her normal confident self.

"You two are…this is just wrong! Shin-man why are you siding with the devil!" Touji screamed and pressed his hands to his head. Throwing the door open, the jock's jaw dropped as he fell to his knees. "What the hell is this?" Touji balked at the nearly matching leotards the couple were wearing.

Kensuke was already laughing as he watched the pair shuffle about embarrassed. "Oh this is rich! You two look priceless! I wish I had my camera to record this for prosperity!" he wiped a tear from his eye as he stepped into the apartment followed by Touji and Hikari. Whatever was going on, Kensuke was sure it was damn hilarious. Walking down the hall he found himself in the living room, or the center of chaos whatever it was.

Still talking and walking in unison, the pair retreated to their dance mats. "We have to move and act in synchronization with each other, and we only have three more days to get this dance down perfectly," Asuka sounded confident, Shinji more worried. "Talking like this is supposed to help us get in sync with one another," the ended by putting their headphones back on.

"MISATO-SAN!" Touji helped as he rounded the corner into the room. Almost throwing himself on the couch next to the woman, he almost collided into Rei. "H-how is it going? Did you come up with this plan, really cool by the way," his overly stimulated mind raced out.

Taking a seat on the floor, next to Hikari, Kensuke felt embarrassed for Touji. That woman was so far above both of them they weren't even in the same country let along league. But Kensuke found it hard to keep his own little friend from showing his appreciation as Misato tugged on a strap of her tank top. "Well this explains why we didn't find Shinji at his apartment," he grabbed a handful of chips from a bowl at Misato's feet.

Fanning herself with the printed out plans, Misato grimaced and pointed at the duo. "Well I think its best if you watch for yourselves boys, and Hikari-chan Pen-Pen is in his cooler right now so you won't be able to see him right now," she ended with a swig of her beer.

Feeling warm himself, Kensuke didn't know if it was due to his proximity to Misato or the apartment itself. "Well come-on man! Show us what you've been doing for the last few days!" Kensuke cheered on his comrade. With how good the talking in unison went, Kensuke had high hopes. His hopes were dashed fairly quickly.

The pair started off in perfect unison, but Asuka continued to speed up faster and faster. Shinji tried valiantly to keep pace, but in the end it was the same as before the other teens showed up. Asuka just moved faster than Shinji was capable and the boy fell or faltered, and then Asuka would sigh and help the boy back up.

"This is a joke right, Shin-man? Stop dicking around and let us see you actually do it," Touji said with the compassion of a stone. Stealing glances at Misato, Touji had spent more time analyzing the woman's curves than the dance that might save their life.

Taking one of the refilled water bottles, Asuka took a big drink before splashing some on her. "Sadly Shinji's not acting, he just can't keep pace. You need to step it up, Shinji! The angel won't let us dictate the timing so we have to be ready to go faster!" Asuka waggled her finger pensively at the boy as she too started fanning herself. "Why the hell hasn't that damn A/C repair man got here yet! This apartment is boiling!" she wined as she reset the pad.

"Asuka, remember what I said about compromise? You two CAN set the pace if you are aggressive enough, but if you go faster than Shinji it's all worthless," Misato countered. Handing Rei a set of headphones, "Here watch this, you've studied the maneuvers right Ayanami?" Misato reclined and laid her arm along the couches back and behind Touji.

Well that was going to suck, Kensuke thought. Touji was likely to think it was some odd come-on from Misato and the jock would never live it down. But the more interesting show was with the girls his own age. Kensuke watched as Asuka sulked off her mat to be replaced by the ice-queen of Tokyo-3, and the girl he suspected Shinji liked. The two soon to be dances, he witnessed, shared a look and a small nod. "Holy shit," he swore, he generally disliked swearing, as the new team danced perfectly in sync the first time.

As the danced ended, Asuka politely ushered Rei off her mat with more force than necessary. "Don't say a word Misato, don't say it! You, First, will NOT get my part in this and you!" Asuka grabbed Shinji around the neck, drew it to her side, and gave him a wicked noogie. "You will get faster and I will go slower! Compromise! Now let's keep this going!" Asuka shoved Shinji back yet caught his hand before he fell down.

Catching his breath, and his balance, Shinji just looked at Kensuke and shrugged before getting a drink of water. "We are getting better, and t-thanks for showing them that I'm not totally hopeless Ayanami," Shinji's tone softened as he mentioned the strange girl's name. Re-adjusting his headphones, Shinji reset the music and got into position.

Well, well, well this was truly an interesting sight indeed. Was that Shinji being openly emotional with Ayanami or was it a cast off from the display with Asuka? Kensuke might just have to set up a little wager on which of the girls Shinji actually chose! They were both beautiful if not sculpted girls, yet their personalities drove off everybody including him. Kensuke's heart was currently set on Chizuru Morimoto from the next class up.

"Thanks for helping me put Asuka's mind back on track, Ayanami, she can get to fixated on improving herself that she misses sight of the goal," Misato whispered just loud enough for the watching teens to hear. "It was a little amazing you did so well for your first time, it is a shame we can't use Unit-00," Misato didn't come off as convincing as she would have liked, an obvious lie if nothing else.

Eyes focused on Shinji, Rei's head bobbed the slightest amount. "I was ordered to review the pattern, and I have been observing Ikari-kun's actions long enough to determine the proper pace," nothing to hint at any emotion, nothing at all.

Turning from Ayanami, where Kensuke was almost positive he saw a frown, back to the dancers, he relaxed a bit. "Now that is better…still sucks but better!" he cheered Shinji on. The two were doing better, but Kensuke could see Asuka slowly picking up the pace, it never got to the point Shinji fumbled, but he could see Shinji struggling.

After watching the duo for an hour, Misato called break and the teens relaxed openly. They chatted (all except Ayanami), the ate snacks, and all the while Kensuke watched as Touji stayed close to Misato, Hikari glared at Touji, and Shinji kept his eyes on Asuka or Rei. Who would he pick, Kensuke wondered, he thought he saw more focus on Asuka, but it might just be pre-fight jitters. No matter what, it made Kensuke feel a little better about his normally down trodden friend. Shinji was breaking out of the shell that wrapped around him, at least Kensuke hoped.

X-X

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, her damp hair spilling over her right shoulder, Asuka traced her reflections face. Tomorrow was the day, they'd face those damn twin Angels and see who was stronger, who deserved to live! Those who were strong lived, those who were weak died. Mother was weak, Misato was strong, and Asuka wanted to be strong, wanted to live! "He's strong too…despite how he looks and acts," Asuka smiled and grabbed the top of her bikini.

Misato was gone for the night, Asuka suspected trying to weasel herself back in that assholes good graces. Why Misato still cared about Kaji, Asuka wouldn't guess, but Asuka saw through Misato's deception, pity Misato didn't. But on a lighter note, it was time to play a little prank on her rival. He was so pent up, so nervous at times, and it just made Asuka want to tease him.

"He'll hemorrhage! I just know it!" Asuka tied the top of her bikini and hide it behind her towel. Giving the elastic band of the lower half of the suit a good tug she felt it snap back into place. "I'm just as good as she is, but they just don't see it. But he's not like those stupid boys," Asuka traced her lips on the mirror again before wrapped her waist up in a towel.

Pulling open the door to her shared apartment, Asuka was hit by a draft of hot air, stupid A/C was going to be broken for another two days while parts were ordered. "Oh Shinji! Where are you?" she cooed as she stepped barefoot through the apartment. She'd have to force Misato to help her clean up after the week of training, that was if they were deemed fit to live.

"In your living room, something wrong?" the boy's voice wafted through the apartment. He sounded tired, worn our, and ready for sleep.

A shiver went down Asuka's back, a pleasant almost electric shiver. She pushed him, oh dead god did she push him when nobody was around! Three days of training since the First had the audacity to show her up, Asuka got Shinji up to a state she was proud of. But what amazed Asuka was how simply it came to the boy! If she kept at a steady pace of increasing, not her drastic one, he kept on getting better. At the end she was doing exactly what she wanted, she was moving at speeds hard even for her and he was keeping up!

Finding him laying on the couch, propped up with one arm and the other holding his earphones, Asuka smiled devilishly at him. "Well since Misato is gone for the night, and you did such an excellent job during the training, I figured I owed you a reward," she said huskily as she rounded the couch. He was trembling, oh wow did that set off a rush in her. Misato teased the life out of Shinji when they were all together, and yet Misato never got this type of reaction.

"A-Asuka what are you doing…stop t-t-teasing me alright?" Shinji back peddled to the armrest yet didn't take his eyes off her. He swallowed hard, yet his was transfixed, driven to continue gazing at her, his SDAT fell to the ground at his side. "W-what are you…" he gasped as she sauntered over to him, standing just above him.

Was this…did she…oh my…she actually liked this boy! Just seeing him watch her, just being around him, it was so intoxicating and refreshing! He was her rival that was for sure, but something else. When he tried to protect her, when he spared with her, and when they chatted during the training, something about him just rubbed her exactly the right way. "I'm giving you a reward my little rival," she almost had regrets about teasing him this way…but that too was part of his allure.

Grabbing the fringe of her top towel, Asuka pulled them both in opposite directions revealing the truth. When his eyes popped open and he quickly spun the face the couch, Asuka felt a strange absence of something. What was it, it was odd but for the life of her she couldn't fell something she had been annoyed with. Oh that's right the string behind her neck stopped itching, dry suit was always so irritating. But if she didn't feel that… She looked down so see her own pert bust, growing daily she said to herself at night, open to the humid apartment air.

Yelping in a queer girly way that didn't suit her at all, Asuka rewrapped herself with the towel. "I…Shit! That wasn't what…I didn't mean to…it was going to be a joke. I have my swimsuit on underneath," she heard herself talking, but the shame wasn't really there. She should have hit this boy, yet it wasn't like he asked or even wanted it. It was just a prank that backfired. Her hand caressed Shinji's neck, "Say something, Shinji. Whatever comes to mind, just say something," her heart was pounding.

He tried to draw his legs up to his chest, but he was to close to the couch to maneuver that well. Wincing at Asuka's feather light touch, he cringed as he spoke one word, "Beautiful."

Asuka had heard that word over and over again from would be boyfriends, but she never really believed it. It was always quantified in her mind as 'you look good, but compared to your guardian you're not that great.' Her biggest fear, aside from finding herself to weak to survive like her failure of a mother, was finding she wasn't good enough. But when she heard him say it, she believed it.

Grabbing Shinji's shoulder, Asuka wanted, no had to know something. Pushing him down on the couch, she saw his eyes shut, likely preparing himself for whatever punishment she deemed fitting for the crime. Well, it was going to be a strange punishment indeed. She kissed him, lightly on the lips, "Sweet, you have a sweet taste." And it was a very enjoyable taste, so she went in for seconds, only this time it was a bigger helping. As she probed his lips with her tongue, he reacted perfectly and opened his mouth in shock. Far from her first kiss, Asuka did consider herself fairly skilled in the craft.

Again her rival amazed her, she doubted somebody of her personality type ever kissed a girl before, but here he was making her all squishy inside. Breaking away, she saw his eyes still sealed but he was panting very nicely. "Let's give us a try, Shinji. What do you say? Rivals don't have to be enemies…and you…" she didn't have a word to qualify it. He just, in some odd way she felt he completed her, she didn't HAVE to be the best and she suspected he'd still care. She was the best, but it felt good to know she didn't have to be.

When he sheepishly agreed she kissed him for the third time, it was soft more of a thank you than an expression of love. Pushing him against the back of the couch, she laid next to him, his arms around her waist, as they watched television and eventually fell asleep. She was right, damn it felt good to know she had somebody to cover her back, somebody weaker yet stronger. Maybe it was just a contact high, but at that moment as sleep fell over her, Asuka was sure she made the right choice.

X-X

Flipping through the binder of DVD's she'd collected over the years, Ritsuko was growing frustrated by seeing the same disks popping to mind. She'd watched them all yes, but she kept going back to the same ones over and over again. The shorter ones worked best, she could get through a full one and drink without fearing falling asleep mid movie. "I am going to be so glad when Shinji comes back tomorrow, be nice to have somebody help me clean and cook for a change," Ritsuko jabbed as she selected a disk and shut the binder.

Setting two drinks down, Ritsuko's favorite mighty glass of rum and coke and a more sensible beer for himself, Kaji dry laughed. "If you wanted to ruin your taste buds with my cooking I could have made something. But I didn't see you complain when I paid for that take out food yesterday," he sat on the couch and popped his legs up on the coffee table.

Sliding the movie, she opted on a slightly longer one since Kaji was watching with her, Ritsuko grabbed her drink and took a sip. It was too weak, Kaji always made her drinks weak. "I'll admit I was glad to have something that was from a package like I make, and since you did pay for it I really can't complain," she relented and sat with one side leaning against Kaji. "Congratulations on your plan working again, another angel down," she kissed his cheek before grabbing the remote.

"Feels odd not to have been commanding the Eva's personally this time, but it did allow me time to get some info that they've been pressing for," Kaji said with a hint of melancholy. "And as loath as I am to admit it, that Soryu did a good job this time around," he followed up with a small drink from his bottle.

Drawing a mighty swallow of her carbonated beverage, Ritsuko felt the welcoming warmth spread across her cheeks. It was a weak drink, but if she drank it fast enough she'd get a good drunk going on. "Got a call from Misato today, I bet you had something to do with that, but before you say anything she was asking me to go out drinking with her some time next week," Ritsuko hit the menu button to skip the promo's of movies long since out. Kaji had to have put Misato up to it, damn him for forcing her to stop shying away from the inevitable.

Sliding his arm off the couch and around Ritsuko's shoulder, Kaji grunted. "All I did was write a quick note on the disk for the mission plan. And all it said was to have her call you, the rest was up to her," he confessed. "Be friends, be enemies, but I don't want you hiding from her. You have every right to go about the base however you want, having you shut in like some bad secret isn't fair to you," his tone hardened and had a lethal edge to it.

Snuggling up closer to him, Ritsuko took another large drink followed by a whiff of Kaji's cologne. It was her favorite scent too, musky yet mellow a perfect combination. She didn't deserve him, Ritsuko knew that whole heartedly, but she never wanted to lose him. So maybe she ramped up the kinkiness from time to time to keep him interested. Misato was known for being a hellcat back in the days, and…well…Ritsuko loved the stranger aspects of lovemaking.

"I won't promise anything, but I will at least try to be civil with her when we do go out," Ritsuko relented as Kaji's hand wafted off her shoulder and cupped her breast. It wasn't a sexual thing either, more of a state of norm for them. This little outing with Misato scared Ritsuko nearly into a panic, but Kaji wanted her to do it so she would. "As much as I miss Shinji's cooking, I'm going to miss our alone time too. One day he'll walk in on us and that will mess him up good," she giggled as the booze worked its mind fogging magic on her.

Trying to pay attention to the movie, Kaji nodded between sips of beer. "You two have been getting along better though right? He's not been hiding from you for over a month, you haven't snapped on him in twice that. I told you he'd grow on you," Kaji gave her a good squeeze and let out a mighty belch.

Yes, Shinji was growing on her mainly as she was starting to see a mini her staring back at her. Shinji was always trying to please, never trying to be a pest, and that was Ritsuko's attitude towards Kaji to a T. "He's a good kid, so as much as it pains me to do so, I'll admit you were right to take him in. Once I grow tired of you I'll have him take your place, think he'd mind having an older lover?" she joked. Kaji was her man, if she lost him then well…dying alone would be her fate.

"Kid has his choice of two from what the rumors say, though I hope that little European tart stays far away from him. Something about her reads me the wrong way," Kaji set his bottle down half empty on the floor. "Though I can't really see a relationship with Ayanami working either though. They're good friends, only friend that girl has, but with her past I wonder if it wouldn't do more harm to her. Fucking bastard, he just had to fuck things up," Kaji spat out.

Ah yes, the illustrious sub-commander. Ritsuko hated him, hated having to work with him, but she had no choice. Kaji's plan needed a sacrifice, so Ritsuko ran towards it to keep him at her side just a little longer. Damn fear…it clouded her mind! She knew that Kaji wouldn't have needed her to do it, she KNEW he loved her for her and not the sex or the favors. But when she was alone at night, that fear came back. Whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

Kaji is out with somebody else.

Kaji has grown tired of you.

You'll die alone.

You'll die alone like your mother!

You're just like your mother!

"I have to pee," Ritsuko announced brashly and freed herself from the warm embrace. Her drink was already three fourths gone, but she'd make another, then settle in for the rest of the movie. After a quick bladder releasing, she heard the door chime as she was making her way back. "I'll get it," she called with a distinct drunken slur. Opening the door without checking it, Ritsuko's blinked her eyes to make sure she was really seeing what she was seeing, "Ayanami? You're a little late in coming over aren't ya? If…if you wanted to see Shinji, sorry to tell ya Kat-Katsuragi took that girl of hers and him out for a victory celebration. He'll be back tomorrow. Want me to…to have him call you or stop by?" she ran her mouth like always when drunk.

Rei just stood there, head tilted to a side and she frowned. "It is of no consequence. I shall come another time when he is home," she turned on the balls of her feet and headed home without another word.

Leaning against the door, Ritsuko just watched the girl walk. "Now that girl…reminds me of myself…just hope she doesn't try banging Shinji to get him," she felt a churning in her stomach. Too much booze to fast, she needed to sit soon or she might vomit. Well back to the couch, back to the movie, and let the odd parallel she saw in Rei go forgotten. When she woke up the next morning, clothing gone but a warm body next to her, Ritsuko wondered what happened after she blacked out mid movie. No matter, she bet she enjoyed whatever it was.

X-X

Notes

Trying to keep things moving, trying to be realistic with the changed characters. As for the Shinji/Asuka scene, no official pairing is set yet. Asuka said it herself, it's a little trial and with her changed 'more positive' character I see her as a person willing to try dating a lot of people before settling. So hope you enjoyed this, hope you keep reading, and well..have a great New Years!

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	9. Chapter 9

Standard Disclaimer

Round and round the cycle of my stories goes, and we're back to this one. I've got ideas for more stories, but I feel having fewer on-going at one time is best. If I have too many it takes to long to get back to one. At the current rate each story gets an update a month. Sure if you only like one…it's a long wait, sorry.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 9

One hand held while the other made small circular gestures along the plate, but Ritsuko was on auto-pilot. It was so simple to fall back into habits, that a week after having Shinji back both Kaji and she had already started taking advantage of the boy's accommodating nature. Breakfast was rather good today, so good that she asked to help him clean up as Kaji took the shower first. She wasn't shocked to be downgraded to simply drying the dishes.

"So are you going to tell us why you've been so happy lately? Or is it the fact you get to go back to school so rousing that it's making you smile?" Ritsuko couldn't help but tease. It helped keep her mind off the fact she was going on that stupid double date tonight. Adding the plate to the pile, she tittered as Shinji yelped. "I do pay some attention to you, Shinji-kun, and you're positively glowing today," she tossed the dripping towel into the sink and spun around.

Lowering the pot he used into the soapy water, Shinji just held it under for a few moments without speaking. "I guess I am happier, aren't I?" he sounded just as shocked at the fact as Ritsuko was to announce it. "Guess at first I thought she was playing with me, that she was joking or pitying me or something," Shinji sloshed the pot up and down. Grabbing a steal wool pad started scrubbing at the caked on food mess. "She even said she's going to tell the others about it at school today," he finally turned to Ritsuko with a small secret smile.

Eyebrow raising, Ritsuko pulled out a cigarette and put it between her lips. "Go on don't leave me in the dark. Or are you trying to be cryptic and vague?" she wiggled her nose at the boy in mock aggravation. Oh he was finally starting to grow on her, or vice versa, she didn't know. They still had their rough patches, but at least at the moment Ritsuko wasn't terrified of mentally scarring the boy. Lighting her smoke, she heard the shower stopping, "But if I had to guess you have a girlfriend?"

Pulling the pot out, nice and clean, Shinji moved it over to the empty sink well and washed the soup off. Nodding without saying a word, he was lost to reverence and misbelieve. Moving to the next and final piece of dishes to do, Shinji offered no further information.

Well that was one thing Ritsuko was still irked by, Shinji's damn shyness. Exhaling a small circle of smoke, one of her many talents, Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Going to give me a name or am I going to have to call up Section-2 and get the girl's name from them?" but something worried her. When did Shinji get the chance to meet a girl over the past two weeks? Between the angel battle, short hospital stay for a prolonged check up, and mandatory post-battle tests he hadn't been to school. Only Asuka and Rei were around him at that time, neither were options Ritsuko favored.

Walking out of the bathroom, towel rapped around his head and sans-shirt, Kaji rubbed at his scalp. "You two still working on those dishes? Explains why I kept getting gouts of cold water. I suspect the young Ikari did that on purpose, hoping I'd fall and he could steal my lovely Akagi for himself," Kaji joked. Strolling over to Ritsuko he let her put her cigarette in his mouth after a kiss to the cheek. "I interrupt something?" he finally asked as the stillness of the room hit him.

Leave it to Kaji to make such a grand entrance at just the wrong time. But Ritsuko enjoyed it even if it disrupted Shinji's confession. "Shinji-kun here was just about to tell me who his girlfriend is. I had to know what was making him so happy this morning, and well…you cut him off before he could spill the beans," she took her smoke back after Kaji took a long drag. If nothing else, having Kaji in the room would force Shinji to confess.

Pulling the plug out from the drain, Shinji grabbed a towel and dried his hands off. Spinning on his heels, keeping his back pressed against the sink, the boy had the look of a caged animal. "A-Asuka," a strange tremor almost bordering reverence was heard in that one stuttered word. "Before the last battle, she said we should…we should 'give us a try' and after the tests yesterday we talked about it again. She said she's going to tell everybody today at school," his face beamed with unknown joy.

Hissing loud, Kaji grabbed and ripped the towel off his head. A panicked energy flowing out of the man, he prowled around the table. "Ouch, Shinji-kun, you picked a real big bag of potential pain for yourself with that one," he finally said harshly. Picking his shirt off the back of his chair, he slide it on and started buttoning. "I know her type, my boy, and they're nothing but trouble. You sure you want that? I mean I bet you could have your pick of the ladies if you wanted," desperation near pleading all to clear.

"Not like they're getting married or anything Kaji," Ritsuko queerly found herself upset with the man. Shinji nearly sunk after hearing Kaji's rebuttal, that look of happiness evaporated and was replaced with Shinji's normal expression of blank or depressed. "Kids their age date all around, this might only last a week or two, no reason to get upset," she dropped her cashed butt into the trey. Grabbing Shinji's shoulders, she pried him away from the counter and propelled him towards the bathroom. "Take your shower, Shinji, while we talk about this, ok?" she winked at him hoping for a response. She got none.

His knuckles were white as he clenched the table edge, but Kaji kept his comments to himself until the shower turned on. "This is a mistake, Rits-baby, a really big one that we should put a stop to right now," Kaji rapped his right hand against the table loud and hard. "That girl will destroy all the work we've done in helping Shinji, I can guarantee it!" he punctuated his comment with more jutting of his finger.

Ritsuko didn't buy it, not for a boy like Shinji. They lad had dependency issues, that much was painfully evident, but maybe a girlfriend might help with that. And with his shyness it was the girl that was going to have to make the first move, so Asuka just got off first. "Their teenagers, Kaji, its just going to be stupid little things anyway! Phone calls, maybe a kiss here and there, and eventually they'll get bored of it and break up. This could be good for him, we keep an eye on them, and when this shit ends we remind him that other girls exist. What's the harm that could happen?" she asked level faced. Having Kaji in her life was the single shining reason she didn't eat a bullet, maybe Asuka could give the same to Shinji.

Fixing his tie, Kaji just slowly shook his head. "I don't know, Rits, I really don't. That girl has heartbreaker written all over her. Hell I still think we should push the Ayanami issue more. Those two have a hell of a lot more in common that Shinji and Misato's whelp," Kaji flinched after his verbal slip. Putting his hands to his hips, he spun back around to see the damage his one word slip caused.

So that was it, another nail in her coffin. Misato, it always boiled down to Misato with Kaji didn't it. "You're only against this because Asuka is living with Misato, aren't you?" not that Ritsuko needed to hear his reply. The question was 'why'. Why was he against this, and how did Misato factor into it. "Afraid she'll come over to drop or pick up the girl and you'd have to see her. Afraid you'll be tempted by her? Is that it? IS IT!" Ritsuko found that irrational fear back and screamed it.

Moving to try and hug her, Kaji found Ritsuko's hand on his chest pushing him back. "No, baby, that's not it. I see Soryu as a small version of Misato actually. I remember what Misato was back when we first met her, and is that the type of girl you want Shinji with?" Kaji tried explaining, but something was off about his words. Something wasn't being fully told.

Sighing heavily, her head feeling as if it weighed twice its normal mass, Ritsuko let it drop. "She only got bad when she was with you, Kaji. Before your arrival…before you two started dating Misato was the best thing that happened to my life. Can we…can we just see if it works for them?" she looked up and smiled a shaking and almost broken smile. It was hard, damn hard to fight it, but she was doing better and keeping the Misato-wolf outside the door. "You've given me so much, I just want…hope somebody can do the same for him," she flinched her head towards the bathroom.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, his universal symbol for defeat, Kaji kicked at the air. "You're right, I hate to admit it, but you're right. I kept pushing him to get a girl, hoping it'd do him some good. Just hoped it was Ayanami and kill two birds with one stone, or some other little girl…not her," Kaji moved in close and kissed Ritsuko lightly. "Friends again?" he gave her at toothy grin.

Giving him a swat on the butt, Ritsuko felt that rush of relief wash over her. "Yes friends, though I'm still upset about this stupid date you're making me go on. I don't care about Makoto's girlfriend. And I doubt she's a spy like you think she is. Likely some lonely woman that he met at just the right time," she lied. Dates were wonderful, but she'd never consciously agree to that. As for Makoto's little lady, Ritsuko didn't know, but could hope Kaji was just being paranoid.

The pair fell into biennial conversation after the first argument over Shinji and Asuka concluded. They talked about Ritsuko's hidden little project, what movies they planned on buying, and other simple issues couples often wasted time on. Eventually Shinji came back into the room, and Kaji apologized. Ritsuko's heart melted a little at that astonished and almost comical joy on Shinji's face. But then…another issue that would become much greater announced itself. Ayanami had come over to collect Shinji for the walk to school.

X-X

Sitting at his desk, the morning hum of excitement and resentment from all the other students didn't really faze Shinji. His talk with Asuka the day before had him thinking of other things, mostly revolving around when the girl would make her appearance. She had told him not to expect her this morning for the walk to school, important matters she assured him, but it left him thinking. Ayanami hadn't said much, other than a soft 'thank you' for the lunch he provided. He was going to have to find some time to spend with Rei, with so much happening lately he hadn't the time he wished to spend with his first 'real' friend in Tokyo-3.

"The conquering hero returns to bask in the accolades of his fellow man!" Touji had the audacity to break Shinji out of his inner thoughts. Roughly shaking the lad, Touji's mirth was echoed on much of the student body. "Let's give him a round of applause ladies and gentlemen, mostly the ladies though!" he continued to smile that insipid smile and shake.

Much to Shinji's embarrassment, the classroom did break out into a series of claps and cheers. He didn't want that, didn't want attention at all, he just wanted to be left alone and ignored. Because if they cheered him now, what happened when he made a mistake, what would greet him then? Best to have nothing, less he get pain. "It-it wasn't just me though. Asuka played an equal part in the mission, Touji," oh how he wanted Asuka there now. She'd have loved the attention.

Popping open his laptop, Kensuke just grinned as Touji did. "Not the first time, found this footage on the net after the battle," he almost sang. It was the video of Asuka's near instant defeat, followed by five minutes of pain Shinji wished to have forgotten. Once the video ended he added, "So if you factor that into things, it puts you as the more vital pilot for this little battle. You deserve at least that much recognition."

Phantom pains ran down Shinji's legs and arms, memories of the battle that refused to leave. He knew it wasn't really his body that was hurt, but when your brain thinks it is…who is to say it wasn't really his body being torn to pieces. Shutting the laptop and handing it back to Kensuke, Shinji noticed a small strip of paper, neatly folded, behind where the monitor had been. Scooping it up he tried to deflect that attention all the more, "You saw us practicing, Kensuke, you know Asuka was better than me. I just got lucky is all."

"You damn ass should get lucky, Shin-man," Touji announced bluntly as he sat down. With the other students returning to their own devices, Touji felt it time to talk shop. "You've the pick of the litter if you haven't noticed, Shin-man. Ayanami aside, you could walk up to a girl and just say 'you're my woman' and I bet you'd hit a double that day!" Touji eyed the female populace. "So…hypothetically who WOULD you pick?" he leaned in conspiratorially close.

Where was Asuka already! If she showed up and did what she did best, being the center of attention, it would spare him all this aggravation. Another annoyance though was the constant insistence he was dating Rei, Rei was his friend and just because the girl lacked social skills was no reason to insist her attempts at friendship meant more than they did. "I-I-I don't want a relationship with somebody just for their body…" no Asuka was more than just an amalgamation of body parts. The girl just radiated confidence and determination, Shinji envied that. "As for Ayanami, I keep telling you she doesn't think of me like that. She just doesn't know how to relate well so it comes out differently," he spied the mop of blue hair and nodded to his own logic.

Kensuke followed Shinji's gaze and drew back a smidgen. "Dude, that girl likes you. Deny it all you want, but we've seen her interact enough to know if she cares or doesn't. But if you want to bask in ignorance, don't be shocked if one day she just ups and drops the bomb on you," his upturned hands comically turned over and he whistled his imaginary bomb falling. Spanning the room, "Don't see Soryu here either, what's up with that one, my dear Ikari-chan?"

"Don't call me chan, please. It sounds odd coming from you," Shinji joked a little. He wasn't incapable of humor, he often kept it inside though in cause his choice of words offended. With Asuka's request of dating bolstering his confidence however, Shinji was taking small steps outside his comfort zone. "Asuka will be here soon though, I wish she'd get here already though," he said exasperated. Giving Rei one last look, he was a little shocked to see her looking back at him and quickly turning back. Did she not want him to notice that look?

Sitting back down in his chair, Touji groaned irritably. "That girl is evil I tell you, plain and unadulterated evil. You'd do well to keep her far away from you or she'll rip your balls off and shove them down your throat," Touji ground his teeth and pulled out some paper and a pencil. "Evil I say," he started drawing as his words lost steam.

With Touji off in his Asuka hating funk, and Kensuke hammering away on his computer, Shinji's attention drifted to that note he hid from them. Unfolding the meticulously folded scrap of paper, Shinji lost his breath for a moment. It was a love letter, simple and to the point, some girl was confessing to him! Likely thrown on his desk when his vision was obscured, since it was without a name, Shinji had no idea who wrote it. It simple said that they liked him, and wanted to meet him at the music room after school. Not good, not good at all! Asuka was going to ruin that poor girls day! She'd hate him, whoever she was.

Almost to punctuate Shinji's fears, Asuka confidently opened the door and thrust herself into the limelight. Waving Shinji to come up to her, Asuka cleared her throat. "Attention everybody, I've two things to tell you before class starts today," her smile was radiant as she swept her arm from left to right.

His breathing was short and a fast intake followed by rough exhales, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He had expected her to do it solo, but now she had him in front of the class. More attention, he didn't want it, but a small part of him had accepted it. If he was with Asuka, attention was going to be a large part of it. He was going to have to get used to it, and a tiny part of him did like it. It was a small thrill to have all their eyes on him, following and listening to everything he said. As much as it terrified him, he found himself liking it!

Wrapping her arm around Shinji's waist supportively, Asuka winked at him playfully. If she could sense his fear or not, she was there for him as she was forcing him to do something against his nature. "First I just wanted to confirm we have yet again proved ourselves stronger than our enemy! We won, and we did it for all of us!" the hand not around Shinji was raised in triumph.

The classroom erupted into cheers again, more the boys yelling out indistinctly. Raucous clapping and chair stomping ensued, climaxing in several fairly blatant comments directed at the firebrand pilot. Catcalls would have been too mild for it, direct statements of love and lust for the unique and outspoken German from a few hidden boys.

Holding out her hand for silence, Asuka's grin lost some of its luster as the crass comments ended. "On that lovely note of love and affection," Asuka turned to Shinji and nodded. She was going to do something, something to really shake things up, just as she always seemed to. "My second topic of importance is that Shinji Ikari and myself are officially off the table," she announced. Wrapping an arm behind Shinji's neck, she bent him backward and drew his lips to hers. Deep and meaningful, she kissed the boy in full view of the entire class.

The eruption was catastrophic as the open display of affection continued past the thirty second mark. Yells of anger were intermixed with excitement and shock. The boys were clearly unhappy at losing a chance, but the girls were less so as most were just amazed at Asuka's choice.

As he felt himself being pulled back up, Shinji opened his eyes to that beautiful face, blue eyes softly gazing into his. It was going to be a wild ride, but if she kept holding his hand as she was now, he wasn't afraid of falling. Kissing her cheek, he felt himself propelled by some unseen force to mimic what she did but declined. Heading back to his desk, he scanned for his mystery note-giver, but found nothing to point her out. He did notice that through the whole mess, Ayanami didn't stop looking out the window. More proof that he was right about her not caring. As he walked past her, his heart was beating to hard for him to notice the fractured pen he stepped on when he passed.

X-X

Standing outside the testing rooms, Misato's hand stalled two inches from the handle. She did feel like talking to Ritsuko, but she just didn't know what to say really. Anger and frustration were on her mind, but at who and why? Ritsuko wasn't the most forward of women, Misato never remembered the woman asking a man out or showing any real interest in one before. But if that was the case, it was Kaji that made the first move, and that meant it was unfair to be angry at Ritsuko. Emotions sucked, but at least she had an excuse for talking now.

Summing up her courage, Misato gripped the handle and opened the door. Taking several large yet mechanical steps in, she was always amazed by these rooms. So much technology, so much she didn't understand, and yet her one-time friend was master in this domain, did wonders on her inferiority complex. Seeing Maya and Ritsuko at the console, Misato's courage waved for just a moment.

"Oh Katsuragi-san, didn't expect to see you down here," Maya sounded genuinely surprised. With one hand on Ritsuko's shoulder, Maya grimaced just a tad before turning back to whatever Ritsuko was showing her. "Are we late for the meeting you scheduled with the commander?" the dispassionate woman wondered aloud.

That woman really didn't care about her at all, but Misato had no idea what she did to offend the mousy girl. Her feet clicked loudly as she crossed the gun-metal gray lab towards the flickering screens. "No, the meeting isn't for about twenty minutes, and I don't think you really need to go if you don't want to Ibuki-kun. I just have a proposition for the Commander," she tried sounded apologetic. Spying over Ritsuko's non-obscured shoulder, "What are you working on?"

"Test results from yesterday. Shinji-kun made a massive upswing, Soryu stayed the same, and Ayanami is actually down a bit," Ritsuko took her glasses off and bit the end lightly. Spinning around in her chair, knocking Maya off her shoulder and nearly kicking Misato, Ritsuko gave her brow a squeeze. "So what does bring you here?" the curt reply was dropped openly.

Guess Ritsuko hadn't updated her social repartee since she last spoke to the woman, Misato wasn't shocked. "Look, I know we've not exactly been on the best terms since I got back, but I wanted to try and talk about that. We haven't had a chance for that drink yet, so I thought…with our common problem it could be an olive branch?" Misato scrunched her shoulders up and winced openly. It used to make Ritsuko laugh to see it, and she had to hope not that much had changed.

Almost appearing against Ritsuko's will, the doctor lips curled up lightly and the sharpest exhale out her nose. "I've been busy, you've been busy, and I've wanted to talk to you too," she put her glasses back on. "If I didn't have a double date tonight I'd say today, but I'm guessing a triple date would be a bit hard for us right now," she gave Maya a look. "Can you run these through the Magi and see if they have any explanation. Oh and run that program I have set up, I'll review the results later," Ritsuko spun back around to face her consol.

"Sure thing, Sempai," Maya sounded a little to chipper. Turning to Misato, "Katsuragi," she saluted sharply and briskly walked past and out of the room.

Taking Maya's place at Ritsuko's side, "That girl hates me, she give you any reason why?" Misato had to ask. Talking to Ritsuko had never been this hard in the past, but back then Kaji was in her bed not Ritsuko's. Reading what few details made sense to her, Misato grimaced, Asuka wasn't going to like those damn results.

Rotating her shoulders, Ritsuko rocked in her chair. "Maya's just not used to having the boat rocked is all. Give her some time and she'll grow to tolerate you, maybe even like you," Ritsuko sounded almost like she was joking. "So…what did you want to talk about?" she drawled out.

"Aside Asuka losing more ground to Shinji-kun, I wanted to let you know that our little pilots are an item," Misato bounced as she stood. Shinji would do Asuka a lot of good, at least Misato hoped. A boy that wasn't simple a walking hard-on was a lot different than Asuka's typical date, and her own. The silence that greeted her little comment left Misato still pulsed, "With what I've seen of Shinji-kun, I wasn't sure if he'd tell you or not."

Powering down her station, Ritsuko briskly pushed passed Misato, "Found out this morning. He seems really happy about it, but Kaji is worried Soryu might not be the beset for a kid like Shinji." With a small shrug, Ritsuko headed towards the door, "I'm all for it as long as things don't complicate matters. Shinji would do good to have somebody to care for. He's got nobody else it seems."

Well she didn't expect things to be stars and flowers between them, but Misato wasn't much caring for Ritsuko's bitchiness. If anybody should be mad, it should be her! Ritsuko took Kaji from her, but here she was acting like it was the inverse. "Yeah well Kaji hasn't made the best relationship choices in his life, so I'll trust Asuka. She's had boyfriends before, but they never lasted long. Her type hasn't been too good, but Shinji appears to be different.

Ritsuko's forward moment came to a sudden halt. Spinning around, Ritsuko's eyes were alight with rage, her forehead scrunched and her fists shook at her side. Opening her mouth once, she shut it without a word and walked off.

Staring up at the ceiling, Misato whistled low and long. "Just great. First time I talk to her I act the bitch. Asuka would laugh at me and rightly so," she let out a few humorless chuckles. She hadn't meant to push Ritsuko off, she did miss the damn batty woman. Just she was ready to start over again with Kaji, ready to make anew and then found him gone. Taken by the one person she thought was safe.

"Maybe she'll still have that drink with me," thought Misato was going to have to offer to pay she bet. Following behind Ritsuko at a very safe distance, she might have seen the trail of her coat once but it was doubtful. Things got worse in the commander's office, Ritsuko was practically glued to Kaji's side. And when she offered the commander her request to move a monitoring station to the volcano, both of her old friends sided against her. Thankfully…strangely enough, the commander sided with her to monitor the site.

X-X

The restaurant was one they often frequented, fancy but not extravagant or expensive. Done up in an Italian feel, they served what could pass as that vintage of food, as good as you could get in Japan anyway. What Kaji really liked about the place is the clientele, middle class and salary men, which prevented a great deal of potential emotional explosions. With Ritsuko at his side, in his favorite sleeveless black dress, Kaji waved at Makoto as they approached the table.

"I don't see your date, she didn't stiff you did she?" Kaji joke as he pulled out Ritsuko's chair. It was a corner table, good and far away from the majority of the other patrons. It was later in the evening, well past the normal supper rush, just as planned. Signaling the waiter, "I'll take a scotch and soda." Good to get a drink in, he wasn't going to touch it, but it gave the illusion he wasn't spying, made it seem like he was really there to have a fun time.

Taking the offered seat, Ritsuko added her order to the mix, "Rum and coke please." Scooting her chair in, letting Kaji take the seat across from Makoto, Ritsuko scanned the restaurant. "Where is this girlfriend of yours, Makoto? Have to admit I'm a little excited to meet her myself," her well rehearsed lines came out flawlessly.

Tugging at his collar, smile so wide it had a hint of lunacy to it, Makoto tittered, "She had to make a call, we got here a bit earlier than you two, and well had to make a one to her office." The man squirmed in his chair with an abundance of childlike nervousness. "You'll love her trust me," he waved over at the mystery woman.

He hated doing this, but Kaji had to be sure. Spying for the JSDF was one thing, but if this woman was working for competition, it could cause more than he wanted to lose. Sabotage, murder, or blackmail could hurt not only himself but Ritsuko and the pilots. Ritsuko knew the risks too, which was why she agreed to this little date, that and a chance to get out. If life were kind this girl was just what Makoto thought she was and everything could continue. However, if she wasn't on the up-and-up, well…Kaji had ways.

Opening the menu, Ritsuko glanced over the unhealthy yet tasty options. "Don't know why I bother looking, I always get the same thing," she droned on. Her head flinched just slightly as a woman, presumably Makoto's date, brushed past her to the one remaining seat. "Ah, you must be Aoi," Ritsuko extended her hand as a courtesy.

Looking nothing like her name intoned, Aoi took Ritsuko's hand and gave it a small shake. The woman was tall, emerald green eyes, short brown hair roughly the length of Ritsuko's, but she had a soft face. Beautiful, far more so than expected, though she was almost rail thin, perhaps an A-cup if Kaji had to guess. Strike one against Makoto, but maybe she saw something in him that kept her with him, when she was turning heads as she sat.

The woman's voice was nearly regal, strong and proud, "Aoi Tachibana, and you must be Ritsuko Akagi and Ryoji Kaji. I've heard a great deal about you two." Sitting close to Makoto, closer than Ritsuko and Kaji sat, she held her man's hand on the table. "We already know what we want to order, so whenever you're ready," she took up her glass, a red wine.

"Tachibana-kun, we were starting to think you didn't exist back at the base," Kaji joked, but kept his attention on her reactions. "Thinking our little Makoto-chan here made you up to make himself look better. I'm pleased that wasn't the case," oh how he hoped at least. Makoto was a good guy, Kaji really liked him, so it would hurt to have to break him if the case needed it. Giving Ritsuko's foot two quick taps, he hoped his movements went unnoticed.

Taking her drink from the waiter, Ritsuko held up the menu to the man. "I'll take one of these and he'll have that," she pointed to the items on the menu rather than say them. As the man walked away after taking the other orders, Ritsuko saw Aoi queerly looking at her. "I can never say the damn things and it's embarrassing so I just point at it. Why they can't just call it 'Chicken with red-sauce' and "Steak with garlic-sauce' is beyond me," she said hotly.

"A-Akagi-san hates being embarrassed, you see," Makoto quickly added. Why he was nervous was unknown, but he was nearly sweating. "So how is Ikari-kun doing this evening, I-I mean if you're eating here doesn't that mean he's going to have to order out or-or something?" he squeaked out and gave Aoi's hand a squeeze.

Tapping Ritsuko's foot twice again, damn waiter messed up the timing perfectly, Kaji brought his glass to his lips but didn't drink. "Well funny thing is Shinji does most of the cooking anyway. So if anything it'll be easier for him if we're not there. He can cook less," Kaji did not want to talk about Shinji tonight. Asuka…why of all the girls the boy could pick did he pick little Misato! And if this woman was shacking up with Makoto for information, the less handed to her the better.

Taking a good drink from her own glass, Ritsuko set the glass down without it making a sound. "So, Tachibana-kun, tell us about yourself? You know about us, but we know nothing about you? How did you meet? What do you do?" Ritsuko asked nonchalantly as she leaned across the table. It was just one girl asking another girly questions, nothing a man could ask without being seen as odd or hitting on said woman.

Swirling the dark fluid around her wine glass, Aoi's head wobbled. "I'm a secretary at an electronics firm. Pays nice but the damn glass ceiling is horrible as is the harassment. As for Makoto-chan and I, we met at a video rental store. I was getting some exercise DVD's, and he was at the check out behind me," she gave his hand a visible squeeze.

Strike two potentially, but only Kaji knew that one. It was an ongoing joke between Makoto, Kaji, and Shigeru that Makoto only rented porn. If this girl saw his rentals and didn't mind it, well maybe they were into some kinky shit, but it sounded a little too convenient. Judging by the woman's expensive cream colored suit and gold necklace, Kaji couldn't help but wonder what was paying for such extravagance.

The conversation lapsed into simple matters, Kaji kept the topic moving but always safe topics. Politics, religion, and their work were highly avoided. Worry again set in, not for Aoi but for Ritsuko, when she ordered her third drink. They were small, but Kaji needed her sober. Makoto however, in his anxiousness slipped a micky into Kaji's carefully controlled environment however.

"So any truth to the rumor that Ikari-kun and Soryu-kun are dating? I overheard Katsuragi talking about it, but it seems rather unexpected considering," Makoto's own glass had been refilled twice over the course of the meal. "I mean if it's true, aren't you worried that right now she could be over at your place? Kids move faster nowadays than when we were that age," he fumbled with his knife and fork.

Fuck he hadn't thought of that, and he really should have. Asuka was a girl that moved at her own pace, what if it was just as Makoto said. "I don't think we have to worry about that. Shinji-kun isn't the type to move that fast. But maybe a call wouldn't hurt," he tapped Ritsuko's foot four times. It was time for a little girl talk in the bathroom, hopefully Ritsuko was sober enough for it.

Taking the hint, Ritsuko slid out of her chair with poise and grace. "Why don't you do that, while I visit the ladies room, Aoi-kun?" Ritsuko continued the tried and true tradition of women moving to the facilities in packs. Following behind the potential threat, Ritsuko seemed to be in total control of herself.

"Isn't she great, Kaji? Beautiful, charming, and smart! I'm in love," Makoto rapped his fingers on the table and bounced his head quickly.

Maybe a little to perfect, but not enough to go on yet sadly, but maybe Ritsuko would get something. "She's a real find, I'll give you that," he winked at his buddy as he got out of his seat. Pulling out his phone, he hit the button for the apartment and stuck a finger in his other ear, a group of drunkards at the bar were making it hard to hear. After a few to many rings for his liking the phone finally picked up. Preempting Shinji, "And just what were you doing young man to keep me waiting so long?"

A frazzled and winded Shinji replied, "I-uh-well…I've company and…well...um…we were studying?"

Double damn, Kaji knew when Shinji was lying and the boy was screaming his discomfort over the phone. "Did I interrupt a little make-out session, Shinji-kun? You don't have to hide it if you are, but why sound so uncertain about it?" Kaji was already envisioning a bad end to things. If Asuka was pushing Shinji into things he wasn't ready for, dragging him into things he was afraid of, well that would have to stop.

Silence for almost a half a minute was Shinji's initial reply. "Yeah it's Asuka-chan, and we were…not doing anything that bad. It really did start as us just studying," Shinji's breathe sounded to be coming back. "W-when will Ritsuko-san and you be coming back?" a little too eagerly he asked.

"Probably not till late, so don't stay up waiting," Kaji tried sounding ok with everything. He wasn't, not at all, but he couldn't really think of why! Hell the more he thought about the joke about Maya boffing Shinji once, the more he thought a little loving would do the boy good. So why when the option was on the table, did he dislike it? One word summed it up, Misato. If it were any other girl, Kaji would have told Shinji where his condoms were. But since this girl had ties to Misato, Kaji was afraid of her. Stupid feelings, he hated that he couldn't just hate Misato, hated that he still felt something. Wished he didn't. "Well you take care of that studying now, night Shinji," he heard a non-committal sound and hung up.

Thinking for a moment, Kaji got a wicked idea to make sure things didn't go to fast or easy for the young German. Dialing up the least used number on his phone, Kaji wasn't shocked that it rang just once before it was answered. "Ayanami, I need you to go to my apartment and keep an eye on Shinji. Apparently Soryu came over and is making our dear Ikari a little uncomfortable. If they ask just say 'you didn't want to be alone' and that should take care of things," he should feel bad about it, but Kaji just couldn't bring himself to.

"Understood," was the only word Rei said before hanging up her phone. What she made of the order, Kaji wouldn't know.

Heading back to the table, Ritsuko and Aoi were still gone so Kaji ordered Ritsuko a coke to replace her alcohol laden drink. When she came back, Ritsuko couldn't tell the difference. The evening went off without further issues, good or bad. In the end he was only a smidge closer to knowing the truth about Makoto's woman, but he had a name and that opened doors. Misato's little volcano plan however put Kaji's schemes back a ways, damn that woman when she was right.

X-X

Authors notes

Moving the plot along and trying to keep things sensible. Closing doors and opening suspicion is fun. Have to admit that my 'new' style of single point of view per scene works a lot better with this espionage stuff, more mystery is good.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't mind the pace. Its hard to keep a good one at times, don't want to be to bogged down in pointless or move to fast and miss out on good scenes.

Oh well, can't be perfect.

Ja mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie-dot-geo-at-yahoo-dot-com)


	10. Chapter 10

Standard Disclaimer

Starting to feel a bit better, which is good, and work is getting a little easier as of late which is also good! My cat is still descending into 'kitty-crazy' so that's a bit of a mind jarring Craziness, but we all do what we can I suppose. With the completion of 'The Gift' I've started thinking about the next mash-up for Mercaba and I think I have a good one.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 10

Flipping through the assortment of files and observation reports, Kaji thumped his left hand against the doorframe to the command deck. Something was up with Tachibana, but he just didn't have the time to get into it personally. A week and a half of Section-2 surveillance equated too little more than learning her address and what time she left her apartment in the morning. If he had his way, Kaji would have dropped the whole lot of them and replaced them with people he knew could do the damn job.

"Morning guys how are things in our fine city, oh and where is Shigeru?" Kaji asked cordially knowing full well where the music enthusiast was. Misato had grabbed him and a slew of other tech's for her damn volcano exploration. For the life of him, Kaji got a bad feeling about that little diversion. "Maya, Ritsuko wanted me to thank you for all the help you've been giving her," he loved watching that girl squirm.

True to form, Maya blushed softly and spun in her chair. Was it due to Kaji's charms or the topic of Ritsuko, nobody knew, but Maya's smile was broad and honest. "Always glad to help Sempai. Especially after they made her take on all of Fuyutski's work," that man's name was still used as a curse among those in the know. Turning back to her work, "And aside from being understaffed today thanks to Katsuragi, everything looks fine."

Chuckling lightly, Makoto added his little observation, "Maya, why do you dislike the captain so much? She gets the job done, she's energetic, and…" Sagely going silent, Makoto attempted to not put his foot in his mouth.

Ah Makoto, Kaji enjoyed his time with the overly honest man. His friendship with Makoto was what made his investigation of Aoi all the harder. He didn't want to hurt the geek, but if it was Nerv's safety or Makoto's bed-buddy, Nerv won every time. Tossing the files at his station, Kaji fired up his computer, "Hey Maya you've not been on deck since our little date, but you'll never guess what we learned about our dear Makoto-chan." Play nice, make it sound social and cordial, and sneak in a few probing questions.

"That he's smitten with the captain despite having a phantom girlfriend? I could have told you that by his little comment right now," Maya hotly contested. Her fingers danced atop her keyboard at speeds only Ritsuko could surpass. "And its not that I dislike her, its just ever since she's arrived things have changed. But I guess that girl of hers, the Second, has been a real boon to Ikari-kun," Maya's typing slowed ever so slightly.

Not where Kaji wanted to go with the conversation, not at all. Yes he saw Shinji's mood brighten, boy was defiantly enjoying his time with Soryu. But Kaji could just predict what would happen when the girl wrenched the boy's heart out. Misato did it to him, and Asuka was trained by Misato. Trying to recapture the flow, "Well he might be a bit of a cheating heart, but no. Aoi Tachibana is in fact a real woman and not a figment of his imagination as we believed."

"Hey!" Makoto yelped out and officially abandoning his work for the time being. "You're joking right? I mean why would I ever do such an odd thing as that," he spun his chair around so quick he nearly fell out of it. "And I'd never cheat on Aoi-chan, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me," conviction poured from his soul.

Joining in on the little impromptu break, Maya reached for her cup of morning coffee. "So you weren't about to say attractive or sexy during your little talk about Katsuragi?" Maya's eyebrow arched questioningly. Sipping her steaming brew Maya crossed her legs, "You sure sounded like you were."

Being a man, Kaji couldn't help but take a quick peek at Maya's toned and slim legs. Girl was a real number if you looked past the tomboyish upper torso. But rumors as they were, were hard to refute. Lot of the guys thought she was a lesbian, and Kaji maybe through parental fears thought maybe Maya was a little to interested in Shinji. No matter, it wasn't like he was afraid he'd find Maya stalking the boy and stealing his boxers. "We tease, Makoto, we tease. But for awhile all we got was your word that she existed and no proof. And get this Maya," here was where Kaji felt a smidge of regret, "they met at the video store."

Gasping, Maya covered her mouth as the smile and shock were a private affair for her. "She caught you renting adult movies and still didn't run away from you? She didn't bump into you in the back section did she?" Maya leaned forward as her interest piqued.

Flubbing, Makoto spun back to his console, his face completely red. "I don't always rent movies like that!" he didn't deny that he did rent said movies though. "And no, she wasn't renting anything like that. She was getting exercise DVD's," he put his hands back on his keyboard but they didn't move. Something was churning behind those glasses of his, but he offered no extra details.

"Aw, don't act all hurt you big lug, it's kind of cute in a strange way," Maya tried to apologize. Catching Kaji helping himself to a small look, Maya subconsciously turned away from the man. "Men will be men, so at least she's not a prude or judgmental, right?" a note of ire rose in her cordial tone.

Scratching at his nose, Kaji realized he had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. But it wasn't a sin to look was it? But Maya had acted her part wonderfully, goading Makoto into confirming the strangeness of his meeting with his 'perfect woman'. "After seeing that girl of yours though, Makoto, have to admit I don't know why she'd need exercise tapes," he tried to come off as complimentary. But it was another flaw in the woman's story that irritated Kaji's honed senses. The woman was a stick, so why the need for exercise?

His fingers stopped typing in whatever command he was trying to focus on, but Makoto didn't turn back around. His head wafted up in thought, "Yeah, I asked her about that the other night. She says she wants to get into yoga and stuff, stretching and flexibility. You know that kind of stuff, not weight loss," he giggled a little and rubbed at his nose.

That was more information than Kaji wanted to know on a personal level, but his logical side knew it was important. So Makoto's little lady was into some freaky stuff in the bedroom, and Makoto got to benefit. They were both adults, and Kaji did admit that some of the stuff Ritsuko and he did was far from vanilla, but for a new couple? He was going to have to take care of this personally. Section-2 was too inept for the task, and enough red flags were raised to make this a priority matter. Hopefully it was just as it seemed, Aoi was just a very open and experimental woman.

Picking up the phone after it started ringing, Makoto's complexion went for red to pale in the span of moments. "I see, yes, I'll bring them in Katsuragi-san. I'll tell Kaji right away too, thank you Katsuragi-san, goodbye," he hung up the phone with a shaky hand. Robotically spinning in his chair, Makoto tried talking but his voice didn't come out.

It wasn't necessary though, Kaji had seen that look enough on more than one person's face. "She actually found an angel in that damn volcano," Kaji took the liberty of talking for the dumbstruck Makoto. "And now we have to call the pilots in to discus what we're going to do about it," Kaji hissed through his teeth. It had been hard for him to tell Shinji he couldn't go on the class trip, boy took it like he did everything else without complaint. But this was a new low, asking him if he didn't mind jumping into a volcano to try and capture an angel. Wonderful.

"I'll contact Ikari-kun and Ayanami-kun if you want to call Soryu," Maya offered as she pulled out her personal phone. Already dialing the number, she didn't allow either man to offer a counter argument. The air in the bridge had already shifted from lighthearted to dire, all in the span of a few moments.

X-X

It was a damn dangerous operation, but as much as Ritsuko wanted to strike it down she couldn't. Nerv had far too much to gain if they could actually capture and contain an Angel. So, Misato's plan of dropping an Eva into the volcano was going to happen. Now it was the simple matter of telling the pilots about it and let the lucky Number 02 know that she was going to be the one to take the plunge.

"You think she'll be alright with this?" Ritsuko asked masking her nervousness well enough. Talking to Misato had at one time been the high point of her day, but those days were long gone. Walking towards the pool, one she had longed to get into but her schedule really was doing much to prevent it. "I mean it's not your standard mission, and while it would be great to get it, we don't 'need' it," she peeked timidly at her walking companion.

If Misato was nervous, the captain masked it just as well as Ritsuko did. "Alright with it? I'm going to have to order her to leave Nerv tonight or she'd camp out in her Eva!" Misato joked as she tugged at her slipping shoe. "After the debacle her first mission was, to finally get a shot at being the lone pilots might finally give me some peace," Misato smiled weakly at Ritsuko as the sounds of them walking echoed loudly. "S-so how have things been going for you? Maya have a voodoo doll of me yet?" she offered.

Picturing in her mind a tiny Misato shaped doll, Ritsuko let slip a single laugh. "If she has one of you I haven't seen it, why having some aches and pains I should know about?" the tension was slowly ever so slowly dwindling. Misato had shown no outward appearance of trying to take Kaji from her, maybe she had moved on. It wasn't outside of possibility. Misato had been the one to break it off, so maybe just maybe Ritsuko had no reason to fear. "As for myself, things have been boring mostly. Shinji-kun does make for a nice venue to alleviate it though. Watching Kaji and him together is something else," Ritsuko didn't expect Kaji to be so taken in by the boy. It was heart warming.

Stretching her arms above her head, Misato wiggled her nose, "No, just whenever I see that girl she gives me the cold shoulder. She's about the only person that does that around here," Misato carefully avoided eye contact with Ritsuko. "And I'll admit when Shinji-kun visits I find it damn hard not to tease him. It's like he has a big sign on his back that just begs for it. But seeing Asuka and him together is cute, I think Asuka really likes him," Misato was near whimsical.

Having not seen the pair together, Shinji sagely kept the meetings away from Kaji, Ritsuko could only speculate. "Shinji does seem a bit happier around the apartment. When he first moved in I swore he only had one expression, gloomy. But he's been opening up to us…well Kaji. At times the two of us have troubles from time to time," that was an understatement but the less Ritsuko said about it the better.

"Sounds like he's a lot like you used to be," Misato said after a few moments of silence. "When we first met, I thought you were just a bitch. Cold, emotionless, and a ball buster of a bitch. But once we started talking," Misato's face light up as she reached for the door to the pool. "Well you're still a bitch, but you're not cold or emotionless, and I…well lets just say I miss the old days we used to share," she let her hand stall on the door.

Was she really like that? Ritsuko had to admit that at times she did think Shinji was the mirror of her past, maybe her present too. It might have explained why she had such a hard time with him, she just saw herself in him. All the things she hated about herself, all the private self loathing given a human form. Then there was the other similarity that she never wanted to think about…he lost his mother as she had. Mother, that one word made Ritsuko cringe inside so hard that it nearly made her drop to the ground. The great Naoko Akagi, the shadow she'd never get out from under who was only surpassed by the other late great Yui Ikari. Ritsuko heard Yui's name said in contempt more than once.

Shaking her head clear of all the repressed memories of failure and hate, Ritsuko reached out for the other door. "And I thought you were a flighty airhead who was going to fail college. You could talk the ear off a deaf man, but he would have just been staring at those damn tits of yours. But I learned you, even though still talked too much, were nice to talk to," Ritsuko nodded to her own thoughts and pulled the door open.

The scene was almost surreal, Shinji was at his computer with Ayanami at his side as Asuka swam laps in the pool. Rei was pointing at something on the screen, one hand on Shinji's shoulder, but who was teacher and pupil was something to obscure to know. Clad in her white swimsuit, Ritsuko couldn't tell where Rei's skin began and the suit covered. What was the oddity was how Shinji wasn't pushing the girl away, wasn't flinching or cringing as she'd seen him to countless other times whenever anybody got close.

Breaking the stillness of the moment, Misato cupped her mouth and called out loudly, "Asuka get your butt out here, we've got a mission to talk about," turning to the young Ikari Misato's eye twitched. "So Ayanami, helping Shinji here with his homework? OH and what did you think of Asuka's new swimsuit Shinji? She picked it out for that trip she thought she could have went on," Misato teased.

Now that was something Ritsuko hadn't expected, Misato didn't care for Rei or maybe it was a fear Shinji did care for her. Spying the screen of the computer over Shinji's shoulder, she noticed a few physics equations and rolled her eyes. "If I had to guess, Ayanami is helping Shinji. His science scores are a little on the low end," she didn't try to demean the boy.

"Ikari-kun was having a problem with the theory of thermal expansion. I offered my assistance in the matter," Rei said flatly as she took a seat at the table without offering any other words on the matter.

Dripping water everywhere, splashing her way past Misato, Asuka took the chair to Shinji's left. "Hand me my towel would you Shinji," she asked after she patted his arm leaving a wet palm print. After the lad complied, she wrapped it around her dripping mane, "So going to tell us why we've been ordered to base then told to waste time till you got here?"

"Girl is impatient as ever," Misato grabbed Asuka by the nose and wiggled it. "And yes we're going to tell you about the upcoming mission. As we speak preparations are underway for a capture operation," releasing Asuka's nose, Misato's hand slid to the young girl's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Going to be dropping an Eva into Mt Asama to try and capture what we believe to be an Angel's egg," Misato alternated between the pilots.

Another unexpected turn, Ritsuko had never thought she'd see. Misato, through all her bluff and bravado, was afraid! Afraid of sending Asuka into this mission, but what made her think was…would she be that nervous if it were Shinji being put in harms way? Pacing around the foursome, Ritsuko took over for the stalled mother hen. "We believe we found a chrysalis in the deeper reaches of the volcano. Equipping the pilot and their Eva with Type-D equipment, we're going to attempt to capture it for study and disposal," she could see a mixture of emotions on the pilots faces.

Rei was unreadable as normal, her eyes fixed on Shinji or straying momentarily to Asuka. The male pilot had the expected look of a doomed man, not surprising as he had most tactical experience and the likely choice in the mission. Asuka, oh how that girl broke out into what appeared to be a fit of giddiness. She wanted the mission, she had every telling indication that she'd have volunteered if it were an option.

Misato bit the bullet and concluded with, "Due to Unit-02's more advanced plug ins, Asuka you've been selected for this mission. Unit-01 will be onsite as well in case anything goes bad," she hugged the girl lightly from behind. "Unit-00 will remain in Tokyo-3 in the off chance an angel attacks while this one is dormant. Sorry Ayanami, but we do need to cover our defenses," Misato didn't sound sorry in the slightest.

If Rei took offense, it wasn't noted as she stood, saluted, "If that is all I would like to return to the pool." She walked past the group, her hand for the briefest of moments trailed along Shinji's back, possibly by accident, as she went back to the water and dove in.

"That girl really needs more friends," Asuka took the towel of her head and gave Misato a good thwack with it. "And you don't be so clingy! I know you're worried, appreciated, but don't get all sappy on me," she squirmed away from Misato and bumped into Shinji. "And you, I thought I told you not to be so chummy with her, you're my man and I will not allow any cheating!" Asuka applied her knuckles to Shinji's temples as he actually smiled and laughed.

It appeared so effortless, so easy for them, that Ritsuko hated both of them for it at that moment. Both Asuka and Misato were just so much more open, they just walked in and had that effect on Shinji when it took her months to get the smallest of smiles. How was that fair? "Well the timetable is set, day after tomorrow will be the date. So you two keep your phones nearby in case something changes, Asuka I'll need you here tomorrow to test out the new plug-suit," she wanted out of that room now.

Leaving the sound of laughter and the lovely smell of chlorine behind, Ritsuko felt her fist shaking. Who was she mad at again anyway? It wasn't Misato or Asuka's fault that she couldn't open up the way they could. It wasn't Shinji's fault for being happy. But she was angry at them all the same. Why wasn't she good enough for that type of reaction? Everybody else, Kaji included, just clinked in a way that made her feel the outcast.

Taking a few deep breaths, damn hyperventilation was coming back, Ritsuko headed to her office to calm down. Thankfully nobody saw her or questioned her, they likely had to much on their minds to notice anyway. In the safety of her lab, Ritsuko sat down, let out a few anguished sobs, and recollected herself. She was getting better, she wasn't being replaced or forgotten, she was her own woman and that was all she had to be.

X-X

Popping the last of the meal into her mouth, Misato savored the flavor with relish. It was something she could really get used it, being spoiled as it were by her ward's boyfriend. The food wasn't fresh, but the boy kept a portion for her from the meal they ate while she was still at Nerv. Coming home to a home cooked meal, the apartment cleaner than when she left for Mt. Asama, was a very welcome feeling. When Shinji got the chance to clean, Misato would never ask, but suspected Asuka had sequestered herself in her room to put on something more appropriate.

Hearing the sounds of video games from the living room, Misato let out a discrete belch. Joining the pair, "Shinji-kun you really shouldn't spoil us like this, or you'll have to take responsibility," she teased as she fell into a laying position on the couch. With the two on the ground in front of the television, she didn't mind monopolizing the furniture. "And is this what you two have been doing all day since you left Nerv?" she grabbed a cushion to use as a pillow.

Her controller weaving around in front of her, Asuka's focus was so intense that it was startling. "Aside from him cooking, and a few things I had to take care of, yes. Got this one new on the way back, and he's got the audacity to be better than me at it," she shoulder bumped her boyfriend. "He won't stay on top for long though," she licked her lips as she continued to mash her buttons.

Not quite as focused as Asuka was, Shinji's shoulders were relaxed as he efficiently entered his combatant's moves. "Sorry it wasn't hot, but Asuka-c-chan wanted to eat earlier so we could f-focus on the game," his stuttering hinted at something not quite truthful about his statement. "Oh and I gave Pen-Pen some of the left over fish, hope you don't mind," Shinji's focus shifted to the bird just long enough to get beaten.

Throwing her left hand up in victory, Asuka lassoed Shinji's neck with her right. Pulling the lad in close, she pressed the side of her head to his. "Victory! I told you I'd beat you this round. And I already told you, that bird is used to eating Misato's cooking so no matter WHAT you feed him, it won't kill the damn pervert," Asuka released her hold letting Shinji shoot back like a rubber band.

They were so cute together, but Misato wondered just what Asuka was doing when she wasn't around. "No worries Shinji-kun, any food is better than none. And Asuka here doesn't make enough for two," Misato reached out and ruffled the top of Asuka's head. This really was how Misato liked it. Peaceful but with a hint of excitement. Shinji wasn't as forward as the other boys Asuka dated, meaning Misato didn't have to worry about finding used condoms. Thankfully, Misato did ask before moving to Tokyo-3, Asuka never did give a boy her once in a lifetime gift. "As for the cleaning though, I hope you don't think us slobs or anything, but we just haven't had much time lately," she said lamely.

Tossing her controller to the ground, Asuka stood up and stretched right above the young man. Either on purpose or simply due to not caring gave the young lad a tantalizing glimpse of her toned and petite waist. "You bought ice-cream too didn't you, Shin-chan?" she asked heading towards the kitchen. "And I told him not to bother cleaning, you'd just mess it up, but he said he was bored while I took care of things," she again didn't really state what those things were.

Turning off the console and bundling up the controllers, Shinji with a rosy tint to his cheeks replied, "Yeah, I put it behind…um…Misato-san's hard liquor." He still appeared to have issues saying Misato's name fully, but he did abide by the rule to do so. Once Asuka had left the room, he did bashfully turn to the lounging woman, "I clean our apartment a lot so it was nothing really. Asuka was in her room working on something so it really did help pass the time."

The teasing light was on, and Misato was a slave to its call. "You didn't find anything you shouldn't have, did you Shinji-kun?" Misato didn't know if he touched her room, doubted it really. No, Shinji was head over heels for Asuka so Misato didn't worry about the boy sneaking off with a pair of her panty's as one boy tried in the past. "And you didn't hear anything odd coming from Asuka's door did you?" Misato had heard that in the past few weeks, but Asuka did have normal teenage hormones after all.

Blinking hard and fast, Shinji's mouth opened and closed a few times before he shook his head hard. "No-no-no nothing like that really!" he blustered out with his face even redder than before. "I-I-I stuck to the kitchen and living room, it-it's not my place to go into your rooms," his hands waved frantically at the insinuation.

Letting out one gut buster of a belly laugh, Misato rubbed her stomach and put a hand over her eye as the chuckles fell out like water. "Shinji-kun, you truly are one of a kind. I couldn't have asked for a better boy for Asuka to bring home," and she meant every word. Male pride clashed with Asuka's pride, and when Asuka's pride was challenged bad things happened. Shinji had little, so Misato could see it working. "Now tell the truth, did you two have a little game of tonsil hockey while you were alone?" nothing to much she hoped, but a little slap and tickle was ok in moderation.

Shinji didn't answer with words so much as he fell back down to the ground hard. A mighty thump as he all but crashed down, looking down at his crossed feet, his face tried to remain neutral but a smile kept peeking through. "I-I don't think we should talk about stuff like this Katsuragi-san," Shinji mumbled and wiggled on the floor.

Bingo, Misato rubbed her chin as she fought to keep herself from laughing again. It wasn't Shinji's fault for being so shy about things, but it was funny to see nonetheless. "No kiss and tell, huh? Well I'll just have to get it from Asuka," she slowly and quietly rolled off the couch. With his attention on his lap, in some remembrance possibly, Misato stalked her pray. "Or I could just…" she pounced on the boy pressing him to the ground and tickling his exposed stomach, "get you to squeal and tell me all you're hiding from me."

The crash of ceramic on tile reverberated in the room followed by Asuka's shrill voice. "GET OFF OF HIM!" the German bellowed as she rushed the pair on the ground. Pulling Misato off Shinji, Asuka gave the woman a shove towards the couch, eyes glazed over with venom. "What the hell were you doing Misato?" she hotly demanded an explanation as she helped Shinji to sit up, he was laughing but didn't look to happy about it.

"I was…just teasing him is all," Misato put her hands up in defeat. Asuka never got this upset over something so trivial before. It wasn't like Misato never teased the boy in front of her before, so why the show of dominance. "I just asked what you two were hiding from me, and I know you weren't just playing games all day. The apartment has 'that smell' to it," Misato pulled herself back to the couch. She lied about their being a musky aroma to the room, but Asuka wasn't thinking and Misato knew it.

Almost possessively, Asuka kept an arm around Shinji's waist after fixing his upturned shirt. "Fine we made out for a little bit if you have to know. Nothing like what you do with the last guy you dated. I swear I never wanted to sit on the couch after what you did on it!" she retorted with a dwindling fire. "And you tease to hard sometimes, Misato, why not think about how others would feel from time to time," she clutched Shinji's shirt tightly at the edge.

Gently freeing himself from Asuka's grip, he nodded once and tapped Asuka's chin with his knuckle. "It-it's ok, but it is getting late so I should be headed home," he got to his feet followed quickly by Asuka. "See you tomorrow at Nerv? It's only fair if you go that I go to, unless you don't want me….don't want me to go," he shuffled his feet a little as Asuka kept herself close to him.

"You're to forgiving," Asuka stuck her tongue out at Misato, "But that's part of your charm. And you damn ass better be there tomorrow. If I have to miss out on my vacation I at least want to spend my free time with my boyfriend." Giving the boy a peck on the cheek, she led him to the door.

Turning the station from the auxiliary input to the news, Misato still felt rattled at the outburst. If Asuka calmed down, she'd ask her about what just happened, but Misato doubted Asuka would be forthcoming with details anytime soon. An apology was necessary though, Misato was loath to give it though but knew it was mandatory. That look on Asuka's face was ferocious, and she had to admit maybe she went to far with tickling Shinji.

Listening to the talking heads discus rising trade deficits with the United States, Misato kept her ears trained on the door. Muffled talking followed by the door shutting was the best she could make out, nothing to good but at least Asuka would be calmer after a more prolonged good night kiss. When Asuka did join her, after cleaning up the broken bowl and spilled ice cream, Misato did apologize. At first the air had been open, devoid of acceptance, but Asuka did relent and accept. Sadly no details were offered as to why Shinji-teasing was officially off limits now, but Misato would accept it.

X-X

With his towel firmly wrapped around his waist, Shinji sank into the sulfurous waters of the outdoor bath. After the scalding heat from the volcano, the water in the bath was tepid. But it was a reward for services rendered in saving not only Unit-02 but Asuka as well. That alone made him feel like he was ten feet tall. Sure he got the mandatory reprimand from Misato, but Shinji suspected she was just going through the motions.

"Wonder what she meant by that," Shinji muttered as he went deeper into the pungent waters. After he caught her, focusing on that beautiful face in his monitor to keep the pain at bay, she said she was going to give him a big reward. "Knowing her it could be just about anything," he snickered. It was odd, being with Asuka, but Shinji wouldn't lie and say he disliked it. She was pushy, egotistical, but also kind and her ego wasn't for show. Asuka deserved every accolade she claimed, it wasn't boasting just the stating of a fact.

Sinking his feet into the water, Kaji startled the young man but setting a large box down. "Not interrupting anything am I?" the man announced his arrival. "Don't know what's in this box, but it has your name on it," Kaji patted the large box that made an odd wark sound.

Not a fan of the public bath philosophy, Shinji was glad to see Kaji had a towel wrapped around himself as well. "I bet I know what's inside it," Shinji recognized that sound anywhere. "Misato-san did you ship Pen-Pen here under my name?" Shinji yelled at the dividing wall. He had heard the muted voiced off and on of Asuka and Misato, but opted to not complicate matters by trying to talk to them. Opening the box, Shinji's couldn't contain his laughter as the penguin bolted into the water.

"Yeah! I did, but I didn't expect you to see it until you got out. He does belong on the men's side after all. Asuka would skin him if he got over here," Misato's voice wafted through the humid air. "Somebody else over there with you, Shinji-kun, thought I heard a voice," Misato's words echoed through the small bath.

While Shinji wasn't the most observant person on the planet, he did know that Misato and Kaji had some dealings in the past. Ritsuko's continually reminded both males of that fact. "S-should I say something?" he whispered to the man he wished was his father. Somebody that cared, or at least appeared to, yeah Shinji liked that idea a whole lot. When Kaji nodded, albeit hesitantly, "Kaji-san is over here with me," Shinji responded.

"She'd have eventually recognized my voice," Kaji shrugged and slapped the water with his hand before getting in. "It's a shame Ritsuko had to go back to Nerv, bet she'd have loved a dip in here. She's always wanted to come," he scooped up some of the water and dribbled it on Shinji's head. "Maybe the three of us can come back some time. Four if you insist on Asuka coming," Kaji smirked.

Thankful the heat of the water masked his red cheeks, Shinji just sank up to his nose in the water. What that girl saw in him, Shinji didn't know or even question. Would it last? Shinji never put stock in prolonged happiness, but he would ride it for as long as possible. Coming up for air, he saw Kaji staring at the wall. "What happened between Katsuragi-san and you?" he couldn't help but ask. He often wondered what had occurred, but never had the bravery to ask, well the days heroics stole it out of him.

Leaning against the wall of the bath, Kaji dipped a cloth in the water then covered his eyes with it. "We dated back in college. It got pretty heavy, I thought about asking her to marry me. But I was never very 'open' about my feelings, she wasn't either," a hint of remorse ate at the man. "So instead of being honest, we fought, broke up, and she headed off to Germany and I stayed here. In the end it lead to the best thing in my life so I guess it was for the greater good," but why didn't he sound totally convinced.

Watching Pen-Pen float on top of the water, Shinji let the tiny story sink in. More to it had to exist, but Shinji wasn't going to pry. Maybe he would ask Misato someday for her side of things or how Ritsuko fit into the mix, but today he heard enough. "Are you going to reprimand me too about what I did during the operation," Shinji tugged his towel tighter as he stood up and waded deeper into the pool, further from Kaji.

Before Kaji could talk, Asuka's queerly mellow voice wafted over, "Shinji, toss me your shampoo will ya? We forgot ours and yours doesn't smell to bad." A splashing could be heard near the wall as Asuka made her request.

Catching the bottle as Kaji tossed it to him, Shinji splashed his way to the wooden divider himself. "Tossing it over now, look out," he warned before lofting the plastic bottle over. His heart warmed even more though, she liked the way his hair smelled. Such a simple statement made him happy, but simple pleasures were the best. Complex things were too hard, to much work to aim for, and to fleeting when the evaporated. Yes, simple was best.

"Ouch! Stupid pointed corner! You didn't aim for my breast did you?" Asuka's joking retort was followed by a yelp as Misato acted on some unseen impulse.

Shinji's mind wandered over possibilities and found hiding himself in the water was best. A healthy reaction yes, but one he didn't like to indulge in. Sitting in the pool, thinking cold and calming thoughts to banish such impossibilities from his mind, he saw Kaji peeking at him and shame washed over. "A-are you upset at me?" his mousy voice matched his inner thoughts.

His head wobbled to and fro quickly, but his face remained neutral. "Upset at you for saving a comrade who just so happens to be your little lady? No, I'm not upset about that," Kaji left his statement purposefully vague. "I am upset that they couldn't let Ayanami come out for a little R&R herself. The girl is cooped up all the time unless you visit her or she's at Nerv," he peeked at Shinji again. "I know it's not my place to ask, and you do have your lovely little Soryu, but if you have the time spend a little of it with that girl will you? Help her open up to others," Kaji hinted at no other reason than that.

"Asuka says the same thing, about her not doing much I mean," Shinji corrected himself. He wasn't blind to some of Asuka's less favorable qualities, he accepted the good as well as the bad. The night Rei came to break up their little make-out session, Shinji saw Asuka masking her anger well. Selfishness wasn't strange, and Shinji wasn't blind to what Asuka might have been thinking either. But Rei was just a friend, despite what others said, Shinji knew her better than they did.

Once his body was again calm, and he turned out the splashing and yelping from the other side of the wall, Shinji waded closer to Kaji again. "I've been meaning to spend more time with Ayanami, but Asuka's always got something planned for us to do," something Shinji enjoyed. He didn't have to make the plans, Asuka knew what she wanted to do and that's what they did. If he didn't like it, she never asked to do it again, give and take. "Maybe we can all do something together," he wondered aloud.

"That is dangerous thinking, my boy, dangerous thinking," Kaji took off his towel and tossed it back towards the doors. "Women are tricky things, and if yours is anything like the woman she lives with you'll do good to not give her any grounds to suspect," Kaji turned to that wall again. "Asuka might think you're on the make for Ayanami, might get jealous. Jealousy is a very ugly thing, makes you do and say things you might not normally do," Kaji splashed a little at Shinji and smiled. "Though if you do spend time with Ayanami alone you might learn you like her more," more than a little hope was there.

How did he feel about Ayanami? He liked her of course, felt really bad about what happened to her, but did his feelings go beyond friendship? "Never thought about it like that," Shinji was glad he spoke aloud. Chancing upsetting the applecart was not something Shinji planned for. Never expecting a girlfriend before, Asuka alone left his mind reeling at the possibilities of good and bad, add to that Rei and that made for an unbalanced equation. The rumors about them were false, but if that changed…what would he do?

He didn't have an answer for that. Watching the sun set, Shinji felt cold in the heated water. It was a silly fear, Rei's actions were just misconstrued by the others. Shyness coupled with lack of social etiquette was all. He hoped anyway, Shinji wouldn't want to hurt either girl if he had to actually make some sort of decision. Such simply wasn't in his nature, he'd run if it came to it, he knew it! Run and ruin everything. So it simply had to be a false rumor…please let it just be a damn rumor!

X-X

Authors Notes

Little short on this chapter, I had a plan for a fifth scene, but it didn't fit well with the others so I'll use it elsewhere. Trying to keep the plot moving and the characters evolving and not stagnating. I love me my complex characters and intertwining storylines. Hope you're still enjoying this story and continue to support it.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	11. Chapter 11

Standard Disclaimer

Damn work has gotten odd for me, but hopefully it'll be getting better soon. I'm trying to fight off the bouts of 'spring fever' that I have sprouting up due to the changes in weather in this ol' part of the country. Well that's enough prattle from me I suppose.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 11

The unpleasant feeling she had just wouldn't go away, and Ritsuko knew the source of it. It didn't come from the nude teenager floating in a tube of LCL connected to a machine that scanned her alpha waves, it came from the other human in the room with her. Hell she wasn't sure human was the proper term for Fuyutski, scum sounded better on her lips and heart. With the mess of Unit-02's little magma dive a week ago forgotten, it was back to work as normal.

"How are you feeling Ayanami? You're taking longer than normal today," Kozo asked from his console. His feet were shackled but the man's eyes and hands were free to roam wherever then wanted. "Do it like I told you to, clear your mind and focus on the plug, just like I told you," his voice reverberated those commands effortlessly.

Her disgust ramped up to uncontrollable, Ritsuko thought she even saw shame mar the visage of the traumatized girl. "Get out, Fuyutski, I can finish the rest. And it is likely your presence today that is making her uncomfortable," Ritsuko pointed at the door as she ordered the man out. Working with Ayanami had slowly started making Ritsuko reassess her feelings for the girl. Her old animosity for whatever Rei did to hasten her mother's death was replaced with pity and a small helping of camaraderie.

Hatred and rage beset the twisted old man, "Know your place whelp! This work you can hardly comprehend! Don't speak to me as if you've mastered it!" His chains jingled as he shuffled towards Ritsuko. Face red with anger, spit dripping from his haggard mouth, "You are nothing like your mother. SHE knew what this was, SHE knew her place!"

"And SHE is dead," Ritsuko retorted not impressed with Kozo's attempts to upset her. Nothing Kozo did caused anything but disgust in Ritsuko now. Pushing the call-button, "Guards take the EX sub-commander back to his home, he has become unruly," Ritsuko kept her gaze locked on that withered old man. Yes mother was one of Ritsuko's most hated words, but she did have one thing over Naoko, she was alive and could improve.

Two Section-2 agents briskly entered the room and hooked their arms around Kozo's and drug the man out kicking and screaming. The crazed man screamed Rei's name and the late Yui Ikari's name insanely as the doors shut leaving the two women alone. Kozo's unintelligible screams faded as he was carried to heaven only knew, and likely cared.

Silence pervaded the chamber for several minutes as Ritsuko couldn't think of anything to say. She really had come to understand the procedure enough to grasp what she was doing, but the end result still evaded her intellect. From what she could gather, Rei's alpha waves were being synced with a system of entry plugs for some sort of auto pilot. Why it was just Rei that was undergoing such strange procedures Ritsuko sagely didn't ask.

As the void of sound became deafening, Rei was the one to break it. "Thank you," it was just a simple little showing of gratitude said just as mutely as she said everything else. But floating in that tube, exposed for the room to see, Rei did look more relaxed if not relieved.

Quite beside herself, Ritsuko felt herself feeling for the girl. "I think both of us wanted him gone. So don't worry about thanking me, Ayanami," Ritsuko was uncomfortable receiving thanks from the girl she at one time disliked for no reason. Continuing with the process, "Ah see I was right, you're doing much better now. We should be done here within the hour. Got any plans?" Ritsuko lied but hoped it would affect the girl. The progress bar was still moving slow, but she had to try something.

Closing her eyes, Rei exhaled deeply as she floated lower to the bottom to the tube. "Ikari-kun lent me several books yesterday. They will suffice for passing the time," she offered nothing else easily.

Ah something Ritsuko could use, Shinji had spent all afternoon at Ayanami's apartment as Asuka and Misato had some plans. "That is right Shinji paid you a visit yesterday. Did you two do anything fun? He's been being drug around by the leash Soryu has on him for so long Kaji and I hardly see him at times," Ritsuko joked. Shinji still was a fixture of the apartment, but Asuka did monopolize the boy's time.

Her eyes opened briskly and her chest lurched ever so slightly, but Rei showed little else regarding Ritsuko's little question. "Ikari-kun played his cello for me, we watched a film on the player he brought over, and we spoke," Rei sounded confused at herself confused with what she felt. "He cooked me a meal," she drifted softly out.

Not the best judge of humanity, Ritsuko had to think Rei was progressing out of whatever quagmire of depression she had been in. Shinji was helping the girl, but Rei needed more friends than just the one boy. "That was very thoughtful of him, did you enjoy it?" Ritsuko had to wonder if she was this vague when she spoke to others. Kaji's hope for a relationship between the two teens seemed dangerous to Ritsuko though. Rei needed therapy not a boyfriend. "Have you thought of inviting Soryu over to your place or any other of the kids from your school?" Ritsuko noticed a spike in the progress bar.

Her long and fine fingers curled into a fist, as Rei's body tensed. "She is not welcome," Rei's gaze was set to something only she could see in the far distance. "As for other students, they do not interest me. As for the film, I understood little but what I could gleam was enjoyable. The music was better," she relaxed her hand. Effortlessly moving up and down in the tube, Rei's image distorted and warped though the curve of the tank.

That was unexpected, but not out of the realm of possibility. Not a good sign though, and Ritsuko knew it. If Ayanami did have feelings for her young ward, then things were going to get nasty once it came to a head. It was just like Misato and her back in college, only Ritsuko liked Misato. Rei did not have any indication for liking the ever improving Second Child.

But knowing something is dangerous is the first step in avoiding it, so Ritsuko hoped to change things. "Do you have any reason for not wanting Soryu over? You might like her if you got to know her. She seems agreeable, and if Shinji-kun is ok with her, and he is mighty picky when it comes to people, maybe she's not all bad?" Ritsuko marveled at the jumps in percentages. And she did believe that Shinji was a little to like her in the avoidance of humanity category. Ritsuko knew the type of person she liked and avoided all else.

Fingers furling and unfurling repeatedly, Rei's breathing raced. "She hurts, is abrasive, and forceful," to whom Rei didn't mention. "If ordered to interact with her more I will, but I will not engage her otherwise," her brow crested and her forehead furrowed.

Closing her eyes, Ritsuko just grunted as she rammed her head against the worst thing she could have said. Asuka could be perceived to be a lot like Kozo might have been, in Rei's mind. Telling the girl to interact with Asuka was paramount to saying Kozo was an 'ok' guy. "Well I won't order you to do that, and even if you were ordered to I say don't do things that make you feel uncomfortable Ayanami," Ritsuko gently smiled at the girl.

With just a nod, Rei closed her eyes and refused to speak again during the test. Focusing instead on completing her task as efficiently as possible, once it ended she wrapped herself in a towel and headed to the changing rooms.

"That poor girl, hope things get better for her," Ritsuko drummed her fingers against the console as she finished her work. Something was odd about Rei, that much was clearly evident, but Ritsuko didn't think anybody deserved the pain that child endured. Maybe it would be a good idea to have Shinji hang out with her more, just until they could get more people to support her.

Unfolding her phone as it vibrated in her pocket, Ritsuko couldn't contain her giddiness as she read Kaji's name on the screen. He still made her feel loved and protected, likely always would. "Yes what did you forget this time? You do know that since its Sunday Shinji doesn't have school right?" she could hear Kaji's excitement over the phone.

"Two days, babe, that's when we'll need new lights for the apartment," Kaji hastily provided. "Two days…oh and we're going out for dinner with Makoto today since Shinji's got his little date tonight," he slyly added.

Rubbing her temple with the end of her pen, Ritsuko felt that anxiety growing inside her already. Kaji's code phrase for his next little spy mission. Two days till the power at Nerv was shut off and he risked his life again, she hated it. "O-ok Kaji, I'll head home and change before we go out. Its not some place fancy again is it?" she was already planning a stop at a motel on the way back. If he was going to risk his life, she wanted to get as much time from him as they could…if the worse were to come.

"Nah, it's the place all those salary men go to. Simple sitting room with some big mugs of Saporo and cheap food it'll be great. I've found a few oddities in Tachibana's story and I want to talk to him about it," Kaji informed.

The chat went on for a good twenty minutes longer, mostly about what both were doing. Kaji was a little taken aback by Ritsuko's more favorable attitude towards Rei, but didn't press for details. Ritsuko also didn't question where this new data about Aoi came from, she did not want to know. If she knew what Kaji had to do for his data, she might tell somebody and get him exposed. The only thing Ritsuko wanted Kaji exposed to was her and vice versa.

X-X

Re-shouldering her duffle bag, Asuka hugged Shinji's arm lightly with the other arm. This was exactly what she wanted to do on their sparse days off, some physical excursion, a little wandering, and just being together. Her mind was plagued with just how far to take things, it wasn't like they had a place to be alone for it, but Asuka wanted her reward for Shinji to be special. As far as dates they went on, it had started off better than normal.

What amazed Asuka more than anything was the fact that they didn't have to talk to get along. Unlike the guys she dated before, vocal communication wasn't a damn necessity! Their date started with a jog around the park by the shopping arcade. For the first two miles she listened to her music without saying a word, for the last two miles she listened to Shinji's as the swapped players. No words needed! And thanks to his improving, she found him pushing her to increase her pace now!

After the run Asuka insisted they try the newly opened rock-climbing gym. It was a simulated wall unfortunately, not like in Germany, but it was great! Pulling Shinji from the more populated areas to a more private area, she got him to relax enough to enjoy it. Still leagues below her, she hoped this new activity would build his upper body strength and them maybe they could hit an actual rock face. A small negative side affect though of her efforts to make Shinji a real source of competition was other girls were taking note of his improved physique. He wasn't a pile of man meat, but he was more toned now, more attractive, a very good and bad situation.

Spying that tranquil face of his, Asuka had to wonder, why did he do it though? "What's on your mind, my little puppy?" she teased him with her pet name. She called him that cause he really did come to her call like a puppy, and well…it was cute to watch him fidget when she did. "Not upset that our date so far has been all sweating and none of that boring traditional stuff?" she gave his arm a squeeze. Whenever he did offer a complaint Asuka oddly found herself glad! He wasn't just going through the motions, the things he liked he said, and the things he didn't he voiced. Hell going out singing with Hikari was fine after he said he didn't care for it.

"I don't get enough exercise so it was alright. Have to admit I was afraid of the climbing at first, but it was fun after I stopped falling," the lad said with a small head bob. Fixing his own duffle bag brought at Asuka's insistence, held his dirty clothing. "I could go for something cool though it's hotter out than expected. What about you?" he patted her hand with his free one.

Spotting a bench, Asuka detached herself from her man and skipped over to it. Plopping down, crossing her legs, she set her bag down and kicked it under herself. "Go grab us some ice cream at that shop over there," she pointed at a shop about a block away. Wanting some time to think, a damn annoying thought had kept itching at her mind, Asuka didn't mind sending the lad off on a further jaunt than necessary. Leaning her head to poke her cheek out expectantly she demanded, "Don't forget to sign out."

Nervously spying the passing crowd eyeing them and commenting, Shinji fidgeted as he neared his girlfriend. Stuttering lightly, "Y-you're impossible at times." Smiling none-the-less, he give the girl a quick peck on the cheek before scampering off towards the shop already pulling his wallet out.

Unabashedly watching his now firmer rump, Asuka nodded in approval. He really did at times seem to be crafted just for her. Pushing her when she needed it, supporting when she wanted it, and filled her confidence with his comments. But that damn incessant voice in her mind wouldn't shut up!

_Why does he do so much for so little?_

_Is he pitying you and acting on your whims because he feels sorry?_

_Does he really care, or is he just going through the motions because it's easier?_

It goaded her and riled her up, but she couldn't answer those questions! From seeing him interact with other students and his friends, she knew he wasn't one to take charge. But she knew from Hikari's stories that he wasn't cruel either. Shinji was caring, she knew that much, but afraid of getting to close. Damn they were similar in that regard, but with him Asuka could see herself letting go. However Shinji's attitude was so laid back, so accommodating that it made her question things.

What if he really was just bored or pitied her so he followed her commands. She did not want pity! She was above it, and if he thought he as doing her good by it than fuck him! To flat out ask however wouldn't solve anything, if it was what she feared he'd say whatever she wanted to hear and she couldn't tell the difference. Worse was what if he did confirm it. Having never really felt this way about any of her previous beaus, she didn't know how she would react if worse came to worse. For God's sake he jumped into a volcano for her! Who else could say they risked their life for her?

"Excuse me, this seat taken?" a voice, smooth and refined, called out. The man, roughly a year older than Asuka smiled suavely the fair maiden. His short black hair, longer than Shinji's by a good two inches, was finely styled and his clothing while not extravagant showed a sense of taste with a hint of money. Already sitting down, close but not violating personal space, "It's rare to see a beauty such as yourself sitting alone."

Her inner doubts and fears drifted to the back of her mind as she was approached. "Oh, really?" she loved this game. Play with the poor fools who think they could have anything or anyone they wanted due to a pretty face or some money. "Just enjoying a small break from my workout," she kicked at her bag. Glancing over the would by suitor, she didn't spy that lax yet agreeable face of Shinji yet. She still had time to have fun.

Inching a tiny bit closer, under the guise of getting relaxed, the teen held made a wide hand gesture. "You don't look like you need to exercise at all, not an inch of you is out of place, if you don't mind my saying so. Kouta Kusinagi, and you are?" his hand drifted close in what might have passed for a handshake from somebody unfamiliar with the actual gesture.

Reading the signs of attraction all over the boy's body, Asuka took a moment to evaluate him. This was a boy more inline with what she used to date, and mentally comparing him to Shinji it was striking. "You'd be amazed at what a little exercise could do for you, Kusinagi-kun," she remained neutral. He was attractive, a scale up from Shinji, larger built in the muscular form, easily more out going than her current guy since he did approach her, and that smell wafting of him just screamed money. Whatever cologne he was wearing likely made the other lesser girls wet with fantasies, she found it nauseating.

Nonchalantly apprising Asuka's body with a very well concealed, but still noticed, once over, Kouta hummed softly. "I've always been a fan of a good run, I can get a mile in under four minutes last time I ran. But enough about that, I'm gushing and trying to impress you," he actually smiled and winked playfully. "You want to go out someplace? Movie, late lunch, or something?" he asked openly.

At least this male wasn't trying to use trickery or false pretenses, Asuka tallied in her mind. The her from a year ago likely would have agreed, gone out at his expense, and left him on the wayside after his ego flared. He was under her, a four minute mile was abysmal! Shinji was already better than that, and thanks to him so was she. "Sorry Kusinagi-kun, I'm not really…" she started before stopping as the bastard had the audacity to grab her hand. Not harshly or hard, but overly friendly. This male did NOT have touching privileges.

"Hear me out now first, please," a small neediness bordering desperation subtly marred his good looks. "I'd pay for the whole thing, it wouldn't be a date per say, just us getting to know each other better. I mean how do you know we wouldn't be a good match unless we actually spoke in a more private setting?" he tried to reason.

Did she want THIS in Shinji? No, hell it was down right depressing her to see this guy so blatantly begging for some of her time. He'd never last, he'd give up on her or fall for Misato…he defiantly had 'bigger better deal' written all over him. While not a bad guy, not like the fool that tried taking an up skirt picture of her for blackmail, but just not her type anymore. Good looks weren't everything anymore, she wanted more substance, she wanted somebody that wasn't just wanting a trophy. Kouta didn't see her as a life partner, he saw her as a pretty doll. Asuka hated dolls, hated the weak, and he was weak. Before she could say anything however…

"Asuka-chan I have your ice cream," Shinji approached the talking pair from behind. Handing the girl the treat from over the bench, the lad actually looked a trifle perturbed. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, sir, but we have places we need to get going to, if you don't mind," a forcefulness underlined his carefully constructed passive aggressive statement.

Eyes going wide, the boy actually smiled wide, "So your name is Asuka! Tricky girl you never did tell me your name." Holding his hand out to Shinji, he winked at the lad, "You're brother gave you away. Mind if I tag along with you two, I'll even pay for you if you want." The boy stood up still holding his hand out warmly.

Now this was unexpected, Asuka had to admit. She'd never seen quite that look on Shinji's face before, what was it? Anger, depression, jealousy, or something else. Taking a lick of her cone, green tea flavored (her new favorite thanks to Shinji), she remained silent just to see how this would unfold.

Rubbing at the back of his head, Shinji's fingers spun his own cone around in his hand. "Sorry, but Asuka-chan is my girlfriend, not family. W-we're on a date actually. I don't want to be rude," Shinji's voice hitched just once as the boy pulled his hand back. After a moment of hesitation, the two boys' eyes staring into one another, Shinji's meekness vanished. "Now if you'll excuse us, we do have plans and three is really a crowd for them," defiant and yet peaceful in his approach Shinji wasn't wavering.

Taking a step back, the boy chuckled and crooned his head skyward. "All the good ones are always taken. Sorry for bothering you two then, Asuka-san," he nodded to Asuka once and ventured off back on the prowl to end his own loneliness.

Getting to her feet, putting her bag back over her shoulder, Asuka left Shinji standing there as she briskly walked down the arcade away from Kouta. Shinji stood up for himself…stood up for their relationship. Shinji had to have seen the boy had at least fifty pounds on him, yet store the boy down. For her…no not just for her…for THEM. Fears…she was too good for them! Banish such foolish things! In that one little act of defense, Shinji obliterated those nagging questions. Fears were for the weak, fears were not for them! And that one fear she had…about what really to give Shinji for a reward was suddenly not an issue. It was time she became a woman.

Rushing up to Asuka's side, Shinji's duffle flopped back and forth. "A-Asuka are you upset with me? Did you want to talk to that guy? I…I didn't want to break up your conversation if you did, but from how he was sitting, what he was saying…I just thought he was trying to…you know hit on you. I guess I was worried you'd…no, I was afraid you'd like him better," Shinji's confidence from before was gone, replaced with a worried look and a hand dripping with melting ice cream.

Damn lovable dope was right and still didn't want to upset her. "I'm not upset, Shin-chan, just thinking. And you were right, he did want something that isn't his," she didn't finish but in her mind she knew the last of that statement was 'because it's yours.' Still finding that confused yet appealing face Asuka dropped her duffel, jabbed her left arm out and pulled Shinji in for a very open and very exposed kiss. She heard a wet splat, one of their cones falling to the ground most likely, but didn't care. Let the world watch, let them live in jealous awe of them! Breaking the kiss, a few cheer from those watching graced her ears, "Let's hit the video arcade, I feel like I can take on the world!"

Shinji didn't protest, his body was to frozen in revere to do anything else but be dragged. Their date continued with more of Asuka's requests, and more fun. After getting a phone call from Misato though, telling her that her guardian was going out drinking with co-workers, Asuka changed her plans. It wasn't going to be 'some time in the future' Shinji and she were walking into the world of adults this very night!

X-X

Standing in his customary position in the center of the large beam of light, Gendo was by every definition composed. Meetings with SEELE were more of an annoyance than anything else. The old men believed him loyal, and until it really mattered he was. The end was the only deviation from the official scenario, so how they got there wasn't of real import to him. As the obelisks lit up around him, Gendo took one deep breath and switched from a relaxed to stern stance.

Kiel was the only member not to mask his identity, instead his hologram was of his decayed form. "Ikari, it appears that the Dummy Plug has almost been brought back in line with our projections. But other equally vital projects have still not advanced. What do you have to say for this lack of progress?" it wasn't accusing, no that was to emotional for SEELE 01.

Before Gendo could speak the distorted voice, speaking in broken Japanese, "How was it that you were able to get the Dummy Plug so quickly up to par, anyway? Last report from Fuyutski stated numerous issues that needed to be circumvented or reworked." A general muttering accompanied SEELE 06's comment but nothing beyond committal noises and agreement.

They knew the answer to the latter question, Gendo had no doubt. SEELE had spies everywhere, and he had cleared Kozo's incarceration with them anyway. Stupid old fools were playing games with him. Well he had a few dragons in his grasp yet. "I'll address member six first. Akagi Ritsuko has been quick to grasp the subtleties of the system that Fuyutski was having issues with. Her talents surpass that of her predecessor allowing her to think of solutions he had not," Gendo's thoughts on the late Naoko's daughter were confused.

A general murmuring followed Gendo's little refresher. A female sounding distortion then prompted, "Could Akagi-kun be tasked to the other projects that Fuyutski has floundered in?"

With nobody else to actually look at but Kiel, Gendo saw the same apprehension marring the old bastards features. Ritsuko wasn't in his pocket like her mother had been. No, Ritsuko was in league with the UN spy, not that anybody but Kiel and Gendo knew that. "Akagi is a trusted member of the bridge and science crew, but putting her into receivership of such sensitive information as the other Black Projects is questionable," Gendo sure as hell didn't trust anybody that he couldn't control.

Running his fingers across his visor, Kiel cleared his ancient throat to garner attention from the masses. "In this matter we are in agreement Ikari. The Black Projects are of the most sensitive nature, but they are also imperative. With Fuyutski's unfortunate discovery however, we might need to make acceptations to insure the scenario goes as planned," Kiel leaned in closer to whatever table he was sitting at and bored down on Gendo.

While Rei was just a tool for the man, Gendo did have a sense of morals. Few would believe him capable of anything beyond firm application of law or adherence to necessity, but he had a soul. Fuyutski's abuse of Rei was abhorrent to Gendo, child abuse was beyond the calls of necessity. While human's were sexual beings in nature, Gendo got by with his hand, so why shouldn't the old bastard. Rei was not Yui, not even a shade despite the genetic remnant a shame Kozo's weak mind was so easily plied. And Kiel knew Gendo's stance and was intentionally pushing his buttons. Well to bad, Gendo was to far trained for that.

"If Akagi-kun is to be tasked with the other projects, we will need something to insure her cooperation once the truths are known. Threats are only so good as ones willingness to carry them out, and we have nothing to threaten her with," Gendo confessed regrettably. The idea of exposing the spy came to mind, but Ryoji had his part to play and was valuable despite his duplicitous nature. No, he couldn't threaten to kill Ritsuko's lover to get her to work.

SEELE-03's heavy accent cut through the growing chatter, "It is believed that something regarding her mother might be used to goad her into compliance. Our resources will endeavor to find you something, Ikari. But until then you are ordered to put Akagi-kun to task on the less heretical projects." As the voice's reverberation died in the small room used to communicate between SEELE and Nerv died, so did all of the lights save for Kiel's.

His head wobbled on its thick and heavy neck, but Kiel still had a sense of virility to him, "This is a dangerous time Ikari. We need somebody of skill to make up the lost time that your Second thrust upon us. You are responsible for this, but as it is a necessity some assistance will be given if we are able." With his last comment given, Kiel vanished without waiting for a rebuttal.

It could be worse, Gendo noted. Nobody said he had to keep Ritsuko alive and as a science officer she could be replaced if an 'accident' were to happen. Sure he'd put her on the other projects, swear her to secrecy. Using the First and Third Child's mental health as an initial offering chip, he'd ramp up the dial of intimidation if needed. Worse came to worse and she threatened treachery, well just like her mother had an accident and then vanished he could arrange the same for the daughter. Maybe keep her alive and sequestered in Terminal Dogma to finish the work. Only if necessary mind you, if she played ball, well that was fine then.

X-X

Sitting on his bench, Makoto felt like he was on top of the world. A woman to the left, Maya, and a woman to the right, Misato, he felt the envy of the small restaurant/bar. Whether anybody was paying attention to him at all or not didn't matter, in his mind he was a big man. Neither were his woman he knew, but it was the image that mattered. Taking a big swig of his oversized mug of beer, he whipped the foam off his upper lip with satisfaction. Life really had taken a change for him after meeting Aoi.

Well into her forth beer, Maya grumbled over the menu. "They never have anything good on the daily special here. All the same stuff I can make at home," she pouted and pounded her glass mug down. "And where is everybody else Makoto! It's almost six already and I want to get some food in me soon," Maya slugged the only man at her table in the shoulder.

"They'll be here, don't worry," Makoto rubbed at the throbbing impact. Maya was a bad drunk, all the bridge crew knew it, and she was working fast on getting blitzed as far as Makoto could see. The other patrons, he noticed, didn't pay much attention openly. Men in white collared shirts palling around after a hard day coding, selling, or whatever the normal man did. "What do you think of the place Katsuragi-san?" he tried not staring at Misato…she was awfully tempting.

Only on her second mug, and it was only half down, after the hour of sitting at the small table, Misato ran her finger along the top of the glass. "Place is a bit crowded and noisy," she peered over at a man who had his tie around his forehead, "But that adds to the atmosphere." Taking a sip she picked up her menu glanced over the offered food items. "I am glad I overheard you two though, it's nice to give Asuka a night to herself on occasion," Misato jabbed at the plastic laminated menu at whatever selection she wanted.

"Sorry to be so late, Ritsuko got called into the big man's office right before we…left," Kaji announced the pair's arrival as he sat down opposite Makoto. For all the man's typical smoothness, he was out of sorts as he took stock of the full table roster. Clearing his throat and back on game, "Didn't expect to see you here Katsuragi."

Taking her seat more gingerly than Kaji's wild throw under the table, Ritsuko looked haggard and tired. "So Misato's here, no big deal. Get me a menu, I'm hungry and don't go crazy with the beer tonight," she even sounded ready to collapse. Leaning over the table, one hand supporting her brow, Ritsuko's full attention was on the meager offering of food that was to be had. "Hey Maya, think you can pick up a little more of those diagnostics we spoke about? I'm going to be put on more projects downstairs," the woman asked without looking.

It was a case of hero worship, but Makoto couldn't help it. Kaji was just the man he had thought he was in college, and wanted to be now. "You two doing alright? We almost ordered without you. K-Katsuragi-san got invited after Shigeru started talking about coming here before he left for the day," he spied from over his glass. How could he become as suave, charismatic, and a dwindling want of being popular with the ladies.

"I just had a long day is all Makoto, no worries," Ritsuko waved her free hand dismissively. Leaning back, Ritsuko tugged on the hem of the waitress serving the table behind them. "Don't see Shigeru, bet his band actually had to call him in, figures," she added exasperated.

"Look I told you guys to stop harass…oh it's you," the waitress, a college aged twenty-something, lost her enflamed retort after realizing who grabbed at her. "Almost dropped this on you," the girl hefted two full glass steins, "You guys ready to order?" She set the order of beers on the table in the space Shigeru would have taken as she pulled out her order pad, not without smiling and batting her eyelashes at Kaji.

As the others gave their orders, Makoto just soaked it all in. That woman, their waitress, he had asked out not more than three months ago. Of course she said she was looking for somebody closer to her age, but she had no issue with Kaji. Guy had all the luck, but for whatever reason he stuck with Ritsuko? As a co-worker and occasional interaction the woman was fine, but Kaji could have anybody so why her? It made the simple man wonder, maybe things were more than skin deep, maybe there was more to Akagi than he realized. Giving his order, a simple order of sushi, he burped contently.

Setting her fifth stein down, she ordered a sixth, Maya was half on the table, "I-I'll help ya out, Sempai, no problem. Just leave the shpecks at my station an uh'll get to it ash shoon as I can." The lousy drunk reached across the table and ran a hand down Ritsuko's arm and gave a toothy grin. "Sho buck up, alright? It's party night!" Maya shot her hands back and knocked them off a fellow reveler who didn't seem to notice.

Squirming next to Makoto, Misato alternated between nervously looking at Kaji to concern for Ritsuko. "They're not over working you, are they Rits?" her fingers tugged at her unbuttoned top. Sweat trickled down her neck down that ventilation shaft, as the large number of drinkers' added healthy amount of body heat. With a growing strength, "I could put in to get a few more people down there to help if you need it."

"What I need is a strong drink, which they don't serve here. I'll remedy that when I get home, assuming Shinji-kun hasn't decided to pour it down the drain," Ritsuko's tired face actually smiled. Hinting at happiness, "Maybe he'll actually drink it instead. He's a teenager, god only knows what he does when we don't show up. Knowing him though it's likely he's cleaning or playing with my cats."

Now that was a strange kid, Makoto couldn't help but feel. What little interaction he had with the pilots lead the man to think all the pilots were wacko's. "When I was his age all I thought about was getting a girlfriend, and getting good grades. Spent too much time on the latter and too little on the former," he tried to have that laid back and debonair air as Kaji but just came out as sad. "What about you Katsuragi, afraid of what your ward is up to?" he nudged Misato with his shoulder.

After the table erupted into gales of laughter at the man's expense, Misato put down her nearly empty second glass. As Kaji peered over his first round at her, "Asuka's been known to take a nip or two whenever the month gets the better of her, like last week. But I used to be worried she'd have some dumb kid over and I'd walk in on something I didn't want to see. Thankfully that isn't a concern right now," Misato held her glass out towards Kaji and Ritsuko.

Clanking her coffee mug of tea against Kaji and Misato's glass stein's Ritsuko's face melted into relaxation and relief. "Yeah, Shinji-kun isn't going to be pushing that girl anywhere she doesn't want to go. I hardly think he even…you know…and I thought boys his age were all about self experimentation," Ritsuko gave the hard glare to Kaji before breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"I can't speak for all men, but I think its good how Shinji-kun is," Kaji's stern and angry resolve switched to a goofy face as he pounded down half his glass. "What about you Makoto, your days of 'self experimentation'," he leaned his head against Ritsuko's shoulder, "over now that you've got your own lady love? Where is she anyway?" Kaji's head bounced about as Ritsuko forcibly removed it from her shoulder.

Ah, Aoi really was a life changer for the man. "Things really have gotten pretty heavy for us, but she had to work late tonight so couldn't make it. And I was glad to make this just a co-workers thing," he looked down at his empty stein. Aoi was always so interested in his work and co-workers that he was initially afraid she was after Kaji after they met. Thankfully she cleared that little issue up last night, a night to remember for sure. "As for the topic at hand," he hoped they got the pun, "experimentation is all the rage, just not solo."

Punching the same shoulder, harder this time, Maya tittered, "Pervert! But we all knew you were a pervert, so if she's ok with you being like that she must be one too. Perfect match." Maya listed dangerously on the bench before leaning in and knocking into her empty stein. "What does she do that keeps her out so late though? She's not a stripper or something and you're just lying about it due to shame are you? Men and their little secrets." she punched his arm twice more.

Ok, Maya's little love taps were starting to really hurt and annoy the man, but Makoto wasn't going to ruin the evening over her being an inept drunk. "We are not perverts, and if you must know she works for Anaheim Electronics," he felt his chest well up with pride. He had never heard of the company before, but he trusted her when she said they made 'big things'. Spotting one of the over taxed and abused waitresses coming with trays, "Food's here."

Kaji just finished his drink and slowly set it down with a pronounced frown. "Anaheim huh? Name is very familiar to me," he offered nothing else but did order another drink. Covering his food with soy sauce, Kaji and Ritsuko picked and poked at each other's food.

Conversation became a muted affair as food took precedence over talking. The latest soccer match and the upcoming elections were the biggest topics, but Makoto didn't pay much attention. No he's subconscious was drawn to the beauty at his side. While faithful to Aoi without doubt, Misato was just…just so different and wild that watching her tug on her top to alleviate the heat brought a familiar tightening to his slacks. But damned if she wasn't giving Kaji the eye right in front of Ritsuko! As Maya put down another mug, Kaji, Misato, and he only did damage to half of theirs.

As her tray of sashimi neared empty, Maya stumbled as she got to her feet. Bracing herself against Makoto, "I…I need to use the restroom," she slurred as she bounced of Misato with enough force to force Misato's face into the plate of half eaten curry. "Sorry Katsuragi, not a lot of room to move," she had no remorse at all.

"What I would expect from a clumsy boy like you," Misato fired off as she grabbed a napkin. Cleaning her face off, her lips curled back in a fierce snarl and exhaling a very strong hint of booze. Twirling around, she caused Makoto to suck in large breaths as her hand grabbed his thigh to steady herself. "Why don't you tell me why you hate me so damn much, Ibuki? I'm sick of all this masquerading around the fact of it! You've hated me since day one, and while Ritsuko kept telling me you'd get better you just keep getting worse," Misato's hand not on Makoto was curling around her mug.

Both Kaji and Ritsuko turned to one another, with a nod from Kaji Ritsuko tried diplomacy. Thankfully sober, "Misato, you're both drunk, why not just let it slide for now alright? Evenings still young and it would be bad to ruin things now." The plan had been to hit a movie, bowling, or whatever they felt like after the meal, but with the current air things weren't looking to good.

"NO! She has every right to know why I despise her so much," Maya held up a finger as she wobbled back and forth. The sounds of the bar started to settle down as the mousy girl garnered more attention. "Bitch comes in and right off the bat almost all the guys are dry humpin' her leg. You, Sempai, start getting depressed and stop coming up to talk to us…talk to ME, and it's her fault! Even her damn whelp of a ward comes up and nabs Shinji-kun! It's like she's tailor made to destroy what friends I have!"

Confusion was etched on all four of their faces as they took in Maya's now red eyes. Being friends with her longer than the rest, Makoto felt it his need to speak, "Maya, what are you going on about? Akagi hasn't been hiding, and what is this business with the pilots?" The rumors about her being a lesbian were one thing, but Makoto had to douse the flame of any sordid Maya/Shinji gossip. Hell he didn't know if Maya swung that way, and didn't care if she did. "How is any of this Katsuragi's fault?" he wanted to know.

"Akito would have been one year older than Shinji-kun had he lived. My only family to survive after second impact died in my arms! Then I see Shinji-kun…he…I would have like to think Akito would have been like him, now her whelp…little mini-Katsuragi has him. And don't you lie to me and tell me that Sempai isn't avoiding her! You mentioned it yourself after she showed up! But no! You can't appose her now cause if your darling little tramp dumps you you'll want to drive between her legs!" Maya shouted as she started crying. "But you'll have to wait cause she's fucking eyeing Kaji right the hell now! Haven't taken enough from us yet have you? Need to break Sempai mo…"

Misato snapped and splashed her unfinished drink in Maya's face. "Don't talk about Asuka like that! That girl has had more suffering than you can fathom!" Misato grabbed Maya's hair and pulled the girl in close. "And what goes on between my friend and I is our business. I was avoiding her just as much as she was avoiding me. But we…we're getting past that," hesitation lingered in Misato's voice. Flinging Maya back, Misato grabbed her bag. "As for Shinji-kun, well I don't know what to say but sorry. I have no family other than Asuka so I don't know how you feel," she sat back down, which was the mistake.

Dripping wet, Maya didn't take Misato's little talk to well as she grabbed two mugs from the table behind to her side and poured them on her opponents head. "I don't want your pity, I want you to leave and for things to come a back. I want my friend back, I want Shinji-kun normal, and I want it all back in the box before you showed up to destroy it," Maya sobered up quite a bit with the splash to the face.

As the bar erupted into a showering of catcalls and whistles the three non-booze covered diners went into action. Kaji suggested that he and Makoto take care of Maya and leave Ritsuko to take Misato back. While Makoto stalled, and tried to say he would be better to take Misato home, the captain sided with Kaji and left into the early night with her arm draped around Ritsuko's shoulder. That was one ruined night, and all Makoto had to show for it was knowledge of Maya's sad past and her crying against Kaji's chest. Not good at all.

X-X

Falling back against the door to her apartment, Misato's head was throbbing and it wasn't from that little bit of drinking she did. Stress and agitation made for a killer cocktail of mental abuse. Stumbling over a pair of shoes out of place, Misato lashed out, "Damn it Asuka! I thought we had an agreement about where to put our shoes!" Not fair for her to take her anger out on Asuka, but Maya wasn't around to stomp into the ground.

Heading into the kitchen for a much needed aspirin, the first thing Misato noticed was how quite the apartment was. It was only a little after eight and already the living room was empty. Television was playing a movie, one of Asuka's favorite sappy movies, Misato thought it was near soft-core porn but all the new movies seemed that way to her. Popping the pills in her mouth and chasing it with a cup of water, the weary female spotted two dirty dishes.

Pulling the clean pot out of the sink, Misato found herself capable of smiling. "Guess Shinji-kun and you had a little date tonight. Hope it went better than my outing did," she put the pot back in the sink. On a whim, she pulled the garbage open and sure enough found an empty wine bottle. "Lucky I'm not a fan of wine little girl, or I'd be very upset with you," but wine wasn't bad compared to what they could have drunk of hers.

Yawning loudly, Misato turned off the kitchen light and wafted to the living room and the playing movie. "Turning off your movie," she announced to her silent roommate as she pushed the power button. If Asuka wasn't going to answer her, Misato was going to take it as a yes, unwritten rule they had. Flipping through the stations and finding a nice game show, she fell onto the couch and rested her head on the armrest. "Defiantly not the best night of my life," she rolled on her back.

It started off good enough, but then that damn waif just had to get to drunk to hold back anymore. How was anything that Maya was upset about really her fault anyway? Misato couldn't have known how Ritsuko would react to her coming back, hell she was terrified of Ritsuko to a degree upon moving back. Ritsuko was always the smart one, the good one, the clean one, and she was…well she was the party girl. Guys want to take the good girl home after they grew tired of fucking the party girl they left behind. Nobody married 'easy'.

A muffled yelp from Asuka's room caught Misato's attention. Pulling herself up, the sleep wasn't quite so forth coming now. "Asuka?" she called out getting to her feet. Those were Asuka's shoes she tripped over right? She hadn't checked, but if they weren't Asuka's then that meant. No, she wouldn't have Shinji over this late on a school night…and they wouldn't be doing something behind closed doors either.

Pressing her ear to Asuka's door, something she normally did when about to tease her young semi-daughter. If it wasn't for that asshole of a surrogate father of hers, Misato would have adopted Asuka already. Bastard had the gall to hit on her in front of Asuka, he got the slap he deserved. Holding her breath, Misato prayed it was just one of Asuka's infrequent visits to finger town, or using the not-quite joke birthday gift.

"Found ah! Ah! Another thing you're g-good at…that's right…ooh you really do pick up fast," Asuka's breathless voice panted through the door.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How the hell did this happen? What was really happening? Misato only spoke to Asuka over lunch about going out late with the co-workers, it was not the green light for hanky-panky! First things first however, it was time to break up the little party. Grabbing the door handle, Misato made no delicate maneuver when she slammed the door open and rushed into the room. "What the hell is going on here?" she bellowed. The sight before her was very unexpected as Asuka had the young Ikari boy's head between her legs with her hands on his head. "Guess Ritsuko was right about what you're playing with, Ikari-kun, now GET OUT!" Misato screamed.

"M-Misato? What the hell do you think you're doing bursting in like this?" Asuka's shrill voice reached near ear shattering. Grabbing a spare pillow off her bed, the German covered her very bare chest with the pink frilly object. Frantically turning to Shinji who had fallen back on his rump from his kneeling positing at the end of her bed, Asuka's body trembled in rage. "How dare you barge in here?" she demanded.

Not wanting to see a young teenage boy naked, Misato grabbed Shinji's clothing off the ground and threw them at the boy. "Get out of here Ikari-kun, princess and I have to have a chat, and you being here won't make it easy. If you hurry you can catch up with Ritsuko who walked me home. Feel free to tell her WHY you're here, because I will tomorrow regardless," Misato hiked her thumb at the door. Moving out of the boy's way as he tiptoed towards the door, she couldn't help but sate her curiosity and take a peek. Not bad for a boy his age, Asuka picked a real gem in the rough.

"A-Asuka-chan?" Shinji stopped at the door, timidly looking at Misato and her. His hands kept his clothing mostly coving his body, but with so much exposed it was hard to keep everything behind his wadded clothing.

Pressing the pillow to her chest, Asuka covered her fairer part with her hands as she leaned forward. "Go, we'll talk about this tomorrow at school," she wiped her head to the door but kept her eyes on Misato. The pair remained silent for the two minutes it took Shinji to dress outside the room and leave the apartment. "Are you just going to stare at me or are you going to hand me my robe?" Asuka pointed at her nightly sleep attire.

Was it betrayal she felt, shame, or was she just upset at what Asuka had almost done? Room smelled lightly of sex, mostly likely Shinji had just started the foreplay before the main course before she broke in. Tossing Asuka the white robe, "Care to explain what I broke up, or are you going to say it was nothing?" Taking a seat on Asuka's bed she felt the girl stirring around behind her. What really made the knife in Misato's heart turn was the thought that this was her fault by leading by example.

"It was something alright, and you had no right to barge in her like you did," Asuka huffed as she tied the sash of her robe. "I was going to reward my rescuer and boyfriend for services rendered, but you just had to take offense to it," Asuka sounded calmer than a few moments before. Perhaps the clothing or the lack of a tongue pressed against her insides helped her think clearly.

Shoulders sagging, Misato was at a loss for what to do or say, so she went off instinct. "You're a fourteen year old girl, Asuka. You shouldn't be offering yourself to some guy, even if you like him, EVEN if he did save your life. You're far too young for this type of thing. A-a-and if you persist in this type of thing I'll have to…" Misato didn't know what she could do really. Threaten to break them up? Ha! Asuka would chew that request up and spit it back in her face while asking for seconds. No, Misato had to be more dubious than that to put the breaks on Asuka's quest to lose her virginity.

Sitting down next to Misato, Asuka kept a good two feet between them. "So I'm too young to make love to the guy I have feelings for, but I'm totally old enough to be dropped into a volcano. Oh and fight to the death against monsters. Sounds like the age argument isn't going to work here, Misato," Asuka crossed her legs and hugged her chest hard. "Do you not think I knew what I was doing? You think this was spontaneous like with Fritz back in Germany? I learned my lesson back then and you know it," Asuka huffed indignantly.

Ah Fritz Weber the young stud that tried to push his luck a little too far after Asuka changed her mind. Boy got a kick to the balls and a wall to the face, and that was just from Asuka. Misato never told the girl that she had his father transferred after and moved off base, doubted Asuka cared. Misato noticed a distinct change in Asuka's tastes and attitudes after that failed boyfriend. More and more signs that she couldn't win this argument kept flying at her, but Misato had to try! Had to prevent Asuka from going down the path she had wrongly chosen.

"You think you know what you're doing, from where you sit now what you planned was totally right," Misato swallowed hard, it was going to be a bitter pill. "And you did learn your lesson back there with that little bastard, but what if you are taking things to fast?" turning to her ward, Misato was given a tasteful view of the side of Asuka's head. "How about we make a deal Asuka, you stop seeing Ikari-kun for a month. See how if you still have those feelings for him after that, and if you both do…well…we go back to the stalking on the door?" Misato's old sign for Asuka to take a walk as her date was going well.

Getting off her bed, Asuka paced the room pensively. "That's not fair to either Shinji or me, and you know it. Why should we have to stop seeing each other because you don't want us 'going to fast'," righteous indignation filled the girl. "We've been dating for over a month now, and I've known him for three times that already. It may seem sudden to you, but I've heard you putting out on the damn second date! So you can't tell me 'it's still too soon'," Asuka huffed and grabbed her music player.

And that was the future Misato wanted Asuka to avoid. She tried to fill the void in her heart with other men. Men that reminded her of Kaji, and while she was far from easy, she did have a small list of men in her black book. Her dating history in Germany consisted of over seven men, and six of them had seen what Shinji had seen in Asuka not twenty minutes ago. "Please Asuka…for me can you do this? I don't…don't ask you for much. But know this is for you own good that I'm asking. I thought…thought that I was in love with those men too and look what they did to me?" Misato was openly crying now.

Moving, with smooth shift of emotion, to Misato's side, Asuka tried to console her mother figure. "Sorry, I was too harsh it didn't come out like I wanted. I was angry and wanted to hurt you," she confessed after breaking the small contact. "As for Shinji and me…I'll consider it if you do one thing for me first," Asuka turned her back to Misato.

"What, what is that?" Misato hated herself for lowering herself to such dirty tactics. She hated showing her weakness to Asuka, wanted to be the strong and firm woman she normally was. But Asuka wouldn't respond well to that, Misato had to let the girl see the truth behind the mask on occasion. Truth as Misato wasn't happy with how her life was going. She was in her thirties already, felt lonely, and while Asuka was cherished above all things wanted a significant other.

"Tell me how you really feel about that guy, Shinji's guardian," Asuka popped an ear bud in and flipped on her player. "No lies, no bullshit, tell me straight up how you feel about that guy?" Asuka's passion died out as she asked.

"I love him, Asuka…I still love him more than any other man I've met," Misato confessed to herself and to her shame. God she still loved Kaji so much that it hurt to see him with her best friend. "I love him and I don't know what I can do about it," Misato fell back onto Asuka's bed and blotted out the light with her hand. Whether it was the booze taking effect or just the emotional strain it didn't matter, Misato fell asleep in moments. When she woke up, Asuka was curled up at her side like she used to do when she had a bad dream. And it was a bad dream, Misato's life was a very bad dream.

X-X

Authors notes

Bit of a mix of good and bad in this chapter and trying to keep things moving forward. Hope I didn't offend anybody, but some people might not see what I'm aiming for, and that's my fault as a story teller. The Misato/Asuka relationship is something I'm trying to be careful with and depict in a very supportive light, hope that comes across.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to support my oddities of fantasy.

Ja mata

Zentrodie


	12. Chapter 12

Standard Disclaimer

Ouch I've been a bit sick last few days. Don't know what's the cause but the A/C likely isn't helping. ACEN was very fun buy physically draining as well. Been thinking, I've been writing a lot of stories in a contemporary time period…think I want to try a sci-fi or fantasy for a bit. So once the Love Hina story ends that might be the next project

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 12

Tugging at her collar, Ritsuko could feel the building heat of the train car the moment the door opened. Damn heat wave was going to make the day a living hell, more so for Kaji and her than anybody else but she was willing to suffer it. Without the miracle that was air conditioning the Geofront was going to be one big oven and they were all going to be sitting in it. But Kaji needed to reset the power to cover his tracks, so it was going to be a long day.

Fidgeting as she took a seat, Maya looked everywhere but at Ritsuko and Shigeru. "I didn't miss anything yesterday did I?" the tech sounded worse than she looked. Her messy and unkempt uniform was wrinkled and had several buttons out of place. Through a cracked voice, "I hardly remember the other day, yesterday I spent praying to the porcelain god."

Maya, Ritsuko WANTED to feel bad for the girl but just couldn't. "Maybe that will teach you to not drink as much next time," the haughty and snide comment left Ritsuko feeling a little remorseful. The girl looked about ready to cry, but here Ritsuko was pouring gas on the fire. But damn Maya for throwing the whole Kaji/Misato debate back into the air. Ritsuko didn't want to think about that, and had done a good job of it until Maya's drunken rambling.

Standing up and taking the handrail, Shigeru snickered. "You mean you don't remember what you did to Katsuragi? Man Makoto was all about telling me about the whole evening," the musician couldn't read a scene very well. Untucking his shirt, the man tugged at his uniform to fan his sweating chest. "Wish I hadn't had a gig and could have seen it. But then again Makoto does like to embellish," Shigeru's head crooned back in remembrance.

Hoping nobody noticed her stark difference in clothing choice for the day, Ritsuko didn't feel as much of the heat due to her lighter apparel. "Why don't you tell us what Makoto told you and we can verify it for you. Going to be a long ride in today with the heat, it'd give us something to do," she sounded bored. Keeping her mental cool was going to be harder than physical. Another chance at Kaji's discovery and potential death, it never stopped being nerve wracking. Hell they spent the whole day after work on a date giving Shinji ample time to break the 'no-seeing Asuka' rule, and Ritsuko for one didn't care.

The month long ban on seeing the German appeared to have severely disheartened the boy, but Kaji meant more to her than Shinji. So if Shinji wanted to go bang Asuka while Ritsuko and Kaji spent what might have be there last day together, let him. If the day went off without a hitch however, Kaji and her agreed to actually talk to Shinji about the why of the little imposed time apart. Ritsuko just hoped Kaji's reasons stemmed from more paternal and less Misato related.

Back in the early morning commute, Shigeru leaned forward so far that he had to hold himself up by the arm bar. The train was mostly empty save for the few Nerv commuters, "He said Maya-chan here dumped a few mugs of beer on Misato's head. Said something about either being in love with you Akagi-sempai and being friends with Ikari-kun, or vice-versa. He wasn't too clear on what the words were." Waving back and forth, Shigeru was giving Maya a very appraising eye.

As Ritsuko was rolling her eyes and covering her mouth, Maya's face blanched. "I said what? A-Akagi-sempai…I…I…I think of you as a wonderful superior…or Shinji-kun as a great young man, but I…I don't…" Maya's hitched forward and grabbed at her stomach. Doubled over on her seat, Maya hitched every so few seconds. "This isn't happening, I can't believe I would say something like either of those," a morose sadness pervaded the girl.

Uncomfortable with her own actions, Ritsuko patted Maya's back gingerly. Lesbian or not, Ritsuko wasn't keen on the whole contact with Maya. It wasn't Maya personally either, Ritsuko simply didn't like touching people she wasn't 'on that level' with. "Maya you didn't say either," she accentuated her comment with a few light pats. If nothing else, Maya's outburst would keep attention off her and that was welcome.

Stunning both of her friends, Maya shot up and grabbed at Ritsuko. Had the doctor been wearing the lab coat she normally did Maya would have latched onto the fringes of the coat, Ritsuko had no coat today. As such Maya had two handfuls of light t-shirt and incidentally grabbing her sempai's chest. "I-I didn't? What did I say then? Please don't tell me I said something even worse?" Maya's cheeks were matching her eyes with hints of red.

Turning from Maya to Shigeru, Ritsuko felt the need to smack that man very hard. Here Maya was having a very bad morning, and the damn man was about ready to pop with laughter. Why did men get such a thrill from women having a bad time, she hated it. Grabbing Maya's hands, being stimulated wasn't good for her morning, Ritsuko freed herself. "Maya, basically you said why you were upset with Misato. You said it upset you that you saw me as hiding from her. And you stated that you hoped your brother would have been like Shinji if he lived. And that you were afraid Soryu-kun was going to be a bad influence on him," Ritsuko's calm and flat voice never wavered.

Maya's reaction was instant. Shoulder's slumped over and head fell forward nearly hitting Ritsuko's due to their proximity. "I'm going to kill Makoto when I see him. How could he have thought I…I AM going to hurt him for this," Maya actually wiped a lone tear from her eye. "Making me think I said something so…strange when all I said was the truth. Sorry for not coming clean about Akito ages ago, but it was a personal loss that I guess is out of the bag," Maya let out a very relieved sigh.

Pulling himself back up tall, Shigeru did the best he could to mask his sudden concern. "Tell me about that later will ya Maya?" he gripped at Maya's shoulder. "As for the rest of it, you really think that the Second is a bad influence on the Third? Boy looks a lot happier now than when he first showed up," Shigeru mused. He stumbled forward as the train rocked roughly as it started descending into the base. "Damn train, one of these day's I'm going to fall and it's going to really hurt. And why ARE you here today Akagi-san, thought you drove in on Tuesday," the man grumbled.

Speaking before Maya could, Ritsuko felt the need to keep the focus away from her. If people noticed too much off about her, they might start trying to tie things together after the end of the day. Ties to her invariable tied to Kaji, Ritsuko would swallow her tongue before exposing that man. "I guess I could tell you before Misato does, but currently Soryu and Shinji are taking a little time apart. Somehow Misato got Soryu to agree to a month separation," Ritsuko watched the heavy lined walls passing by at fast speeds. Her stomach lurched at the sudden decent as usual, they were almost at the end of the line. Train didn't enter the base, but got damn near it, leaving them to walk the remainder.

Shigeru winced and let out a long whistle, "Ouch, fell sorry for Ikari-kun then. Girl like that will have a new guy by the end of the week. Hope he has some good memories of that relationship, they don't come around often." Jerking forward as the train stopped, Shigeru shook off a pain in his hand as he let go. Walking through the open door, "What brought that about anyway? Katsuragi doesn't seem the type to force that girl into breaking up with a guy for no reason. She worried Ikari-kun is like his father?" He leaned against the door to keep it open for Maya and Ritsuko to pass.

Lightly smacking Shigeru as she walked past him, simply for effect, Maya's eyes hardened as she stopped for a moment to bore down on the man. "And what makes you think Ikari-kun isn't better off without her? Girl like that is going to be a walking STD if Katsuragi is any indication. Ikari-kun deserves somebody that isn't some glory hound hell bent on being the best for some damn fixation," Maya shook with fury before stomping past Shigeru.

Shrugging at the man, Ritsuko just kept pace with Maya with him in tow. Knowing it would get out sooner or later, Ritsuko hoped at least if she broke the news to her, Maya wouldn't get even more irate. "Turns out after our little outing ended abruptly, Misato walked in on Shinji and Soryu in a very comprising position," that got Maya to stop Ritsuko found half-humorous. With both sets of eyes on here, the doctor could tell they wanted more details. "She found Shinji with his head between the young Soryu's legs. They didn't get further than that, but it was enough for Misato to put the brakes on them," Ritsuko was tempted to think Misato was right to do so.

"Whoa, didn't think the kid had it in him to go down on a girl. Think I'll buy him a soda next time I see him," Shigeru sagely maneuvered around Maya and hustled off. Stopping at the utility elevator, "Just hope things go good for them. He did look happy with her," he ducked into the shaft and was gone.

Ritsuko was looking forward to her elevator ride later in the day. Best way to cover Kaji was to provide an alibi, and the plan was simple. After he got his work done he was going to be in the 5-B elevator as the power went out, Ritsuko was going to be in it with him. With several hours of time to themselves, they would make proper use of it. With the heat it would mask any stench with the over powering reek of sweat.

Walking past Shigeru's descending elevator, Maya's body trembled with unknown emotion. "Don't let them get back together, Akagi-sempai. That girl isn't a good match for Shinji-kun, hell anybody is better than that little foreign tart," she said low and nearly under her breath. "You can see it can't you, girl is just using him. Making him into something he wasn't meant to be, something he doesn't want. You can see that can't you?" Maya asked as she hit the button to their elevator.

As much as she wanted to disagree, Ritsuko saw what Maya was hinting at. "She does force her will onto Shinji-kun an awful lot. But maybe it's not all for the worst. He's more physically active now, in the good way," she was quick to amend. The boy was still shy yet sweet, but now stronger and faster. It was a shame she was so terrified of Shinji, to this day something about the boy just triggered the fear center of her brain. "I won't try and stop them from getting back together after the thirty days, but if they really are so different they'll split apart on their own over this," Ritsuko stepped into the open cab, thankfully it was empty.

Shaking her head, Maya stepped in and hit the button for the lab area. "I hope you're right Akagi-sempai, I really do. Because if that girl hurts him, pilot or not, I'm going to toss her off a catwalk," it was impossible to tell if she was joking or serious. Leaning against the cab, hands gripping the thin metal support beams, "That is a nice dress you're wearing today, Akagi-sempai. Oh and you never did say why you didn't drive in today"

Damn, somebody did notice it. Keeping her cool, Ritsuko fixed her hair as casually as she could. "Thought I'd try something a little lighter. Kaji said he wanted to take Shinji-kun out for something after work. The boy is upset about the whole Soryu mess. As for the car, Kaji took it to plan our little date. Welcome to come if you want," Ritsuko would have to talk to Kaji about her little lie while they shared their elevator.

Closing her eyes, Maya's internal thoughts played out on her face. Going from worried, to elated, back to worried, and finally a big smile, Maya's eyes opened again dancing with unseen possibilities. "Sounds like a good idea. We can talk about it over lunch if you don't mind. I think we need to get Ikari-kun's mind off of easy and pretty to women of more substance," Maya flawlessly lanced Ritsuko's plan painfully.

"W-we'll see," Ritsuko chewed on the inside of her lip so hard it drew blood. That was the time she was to meet Kaji, but Maya had that look about her. The look of somebody that wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. "We'll see," she was going to just have to hope Kaji was safe…she'd have to get to him after the power outage. If he was in the elevator she could relax, if he wasn't nothing Maya talked about would matter.

Checking her watch, Ritsuko felt her stomach rumbling. "I hate these early mornings, Shinji-kun has me spoiled on breakfast," she could envision him cooking right now. Oh how that boy tried so hard to make everybody happy, and how easily he succeeded in the small things. Shinji was, in Ritsuko's eyes, the expert of the small. Larger things however, he failed much like she did in not trying them. "He should be getting up right about now, assuming the cats haven't woken him up already," damn Luna for sleeping with him all the time now!

Teasing Maya with how silly Shinji looked in his apron with two cats at his feet, well Ritsuko garnered a smile and a lot happier Maya. They worked in relative ease and jovial spirits for several hours. That is until the power went out, just as Ritsuko was told, so far so good.

X-X

Shielding her eyes with her hand, Asuka blew a few strands of hair out of her face. Walking towards the Geo-Front wasn't a bad thing, but when she was forced to put up with a girl that was for whatever reason hating on her was annoying. Rei could have whatever reason she wanted to dislike her, Asuka didn't mind. But to constant cold shoulder, the arbitrary countering of her ideas, and the gall to stay between Shinji and her was getting old at lighting fast speeds.

"Misato is going to pay for this, going to break headboards upon headboards," Asuka mused as she watched Shinji cranking the automatic door open. Trust, everything in the Soryu/Katsuragi household boiled down to it. And up until today, Asuka felt Misato trusted her. Well Misato's calling of Ayanami and telling her of the wager was a slap to the face of trust. "Shouldn't you be helping him Wondergirl? I would be but you'd nark me out to Misato," Asuka huffed.

Straining against the reluctant metal, sweat streaming down his face, Shinji stopped and let out a groan. "It's alright, Asuka-chan, not like there is enough space for two sets of hands. We'd likely just hit our heads together as we tried anyway," he shrugged and half smiled at her. Opening his mouth to speak again, he chose not to and went back to opening the door. "Almost…huh…huh…done anyway," he panted as he worked.

Finding Ayanami reading the emergency actions guide again, Asuka swung her bag from her back to her front. Pulling her own guide out, Asuka wasn't going to be beaten by some dishrag of a girl. Shinji might not see it, but Asuka wasn't too blind to see it. This girl, Rei, was planning to make a move on not only Shinji but her top spot. Reading the procedures aloud, "If the city comes into a state of emergencies all personal are to report to the Geo-Front at once. Wouldn't it have been easier for Section-2 just to drive us rather than walking the whole way?"

"The agents' primary goal is to protect the command staff in the case of an emergency," Rei said calmly as she put her orders away. Her blue hair matted with sweat and dirt, Rei did in fact head over to Shinji and gripped the bar over his hands. "As Soryu is impatient allow me to assist," she commanded as she started helping without waiting for an answer.

With the extra assistance, Shinji quickly moved the explosion proof door open far enough for them to squeeze into. "After you two," he gestured before bending over to pant heavily. His body rocked with enormous gales of air being taken in as his body dripped from every pore. "Have to agree with Asuka-chan though, Ayanami, nice car ride over would have been nice wouldn't it? Even you're sweating," he followed the pair into the emergency lit corridor.

Waiting at the door for Shinji to walk through, Asuka put her palm to his back to support him. "Just helping him to walk, First, don't take it as a violation of Misato and my agreement," she fired off quickly before Rei reminded her. Whispering in Shinji's ear however, "I just wanted to hold your hand. Only been a day so it's not like we haven't seen each other. But I missed it." And funny thing was she did. They weren't an obsessed couple that had to see each other everyday, but when they were forbidden to…well forbidden fruit was the most desired.

To winded to speak, Shinji just nodded and gave Asuka's arm a squeeze. Letting himself be lead by the two girls, Shinji would point out the various numbered sections on the wall and on the map. Once his lungs were no longer pained, "Are we going up? Shouldn't we be going down?"

"Soryu insisted on this direction, had we taken the left…" Rei started to announce before the faint sounds of the street became more important.

"Repeat an angel has been sighted coming towards Tokyo-3! Again an angel is approaching the city!" the familiar voice of Makoto chorused loudly and brokenly over a PA system.

Letting go of Shinji, Asuka practically danced before Rei and playfully poked the girl's nose. "If we went left we wouldn't have heard that now would we. Now we know we have to double our efforts and speed to get to the others in time," Asuka announced in an attempt to salvage her mistake. Perfection wasn't in her motto, but she didn't like being blatantly wrong. Pulling out her map, she examined it but found the markings smeared and to crumbled to read. "Fine, my map is useless, which way do we go Ayanami?" Asuka held up her hands in defeat. Couldn't win without proper armaments.

Shinji however came to Asuka's rescue from being beaten by Ayanami. By choice or just luck, he pointed at an air duct. "Would these be the quickest way to the hangers? They have the same number as the floor we get off on," he pointed at the shaft above his head questioningly.

Her head tilting to the side ever so softly, Rei nodded. "Ikari-kun is correct. This would be the most direct path to the hanger bay," Rei was already pulling down the emergency ladder. Setting the hooks into place, Rei stumbled backward into Shinji who then fell into the wall. "Soryu, you are the least physically taxed at the moment, could you attach this," she handed over the ladder.

Hoping Shinji wasn't enjoying Rei grinding her ass against his crotch, Asuka counted to ten in her mind. "Just glad you didn't break it, but at least you acknowledge I have the most stamina…well Shinji might have more but we haven't had the chance to find out yet," she winked at Shinji as she hung the ladder. Rei might not actually be considering stealing Shinji while during the forced time apart, girl was just socially awkward. "Ayanami," Asuka started climbing up the ladder, "Why don't you come visit me some time. We didn't get off on the best of terms and…"

Dodging the metal grill as it fell to the ground, Rei's hand traced down Shinji's arm for a moment. "Did Akagi-san ask you to propose this to me?" Rei almost sounded curt. Stepping up to Asuka as the girl climbed back down, Rei was face to face with the girl. Calmly yet with a hint of resentment, "If I am ordered to interact with you I will. Ikari-kun however is the only person I chose to interact with." Without another word Rei ascended the ladder and disappeared into the shaft.

Ok, Shinji had to have seen that little announcement. She had tried being nice again, tried to help the shut in get a little more contact. "What is it about me she doesn't like," she asked. Grabbing Shinji's hand, Asuka drew the smelly boy into a hug. "She's going to try and steal you from me, just you watch," she drew back and kissed Shinji's nose. Watching him squirm and blush, Asuka was really going to miss that. "Just don't get lazy while we can't exercise together. I expect you faster when we go running," she wiggled his nose with her fingers and bounded up the ladder.

Shinji just watched Asuka as she went, the show of up skirt sent the boy stammering and blushing. "I-I'll impress you when this is over. J-just you watch," he muttered something under his breath but Asuka couldn't hear it. Following behind Asuka, Shinji kept his head down and towards the ground, not risking another peek.

Stealing glances back every so often as they moved through the cramped and painfully hot shaft, Asuka got a wicked idea. With one hand, Asuka grabbed her skirt and pulled it up over her waist. A full view of her blue and white stripped panty's given to the boy behind her. "Hey Shin-chan look at this," Asuka cooed while watching for Rei to stop and look back. When Rei didn't, Asuka gazed back at the mesmerized Shinji. He'd wait for her…that boy was hers and she was ready to be his. Damn Misato, but if she could do it, then Asuka was going to ask Misato to give up on that damn Kaji person. Guy gave her the creeps.

Amid Shinji's horse coughing, Asuka knew a sign of severe dehydration, she pulled her skirt back down into place. "Just keep that in mind if you're ever alone with a suddenly amorous First child. Maybe I'm misreading her, maybe not, but I think she wants my little puppy," Asuka teased as she started crawling again. Shinji didn't respond, he didn't have to, Asuka was sure he understood. The shaft continued for a good twenty minutes before the sounds of the crew alerted them to the end of the line. It was time to prove she deserved to live again. To the victors went the spoil, to the weak and defeated death.

X-X

His back ached but Kaji couldn't get a good positing in the elevator cart, not with Misato taking up more than her fair share of it. This was defiantly not going according to his plan, Ritsuko was supposed to be here to help pass the hours till power came back. They were going to share all the damning information he just learned, and ease him out of a little problem. Damn thing about risking his life for his true masters was it triggered certain biological impulses. Ritsuko told him it was the natural instinct following a life or death encounter, the very powerful desire to procreate. Damn primitive instinct.

Stripped down to her t-shirt and panty's Misato kept her back to Kaji as she fanned herself. "Damn it's hot in this stupid tin can. I thought Nerv had back-ups on top of back-ups, so how did this happen?" she glanced over her shoulder at the topless Kaji. Her eyes strayed a little south and stayed a bit longer than was friendly. "I would have been better off missing this elevator. Would be nicer if my company wasn't giving me the silent treatment," Misato grumbled and turned back.

Damn him for thinking the voice he heard was Ritsuko! She was supposed to have been in the cart already waiting for him, but no it was empty. So when he heard the 'hold it' call he instantly put his hand out. Where instead of his girlfriend however, low and behold he found it was his ex. "Just got a lot on my mind right now, Katsuragi. And I don't know what to talk about really," he shifted his leg to mask his low standing erection.

Spinning around and putting her back to the wall, Misato crossed her legs as she leaned forward and pointed at Kaji. Her undergarment clearly showing, Misato went on as if it was no big deal, "You could start with telling me the truth about the young Ikari Shinji." Misato leaned back and actually bounced her head against the handhold, "Damn this thing is tiny. So spill it, is the boy actually a little perv like I heard his dad is?"

Was Shinji a pervert? Holy hell, that was as far from reality as possible. Unable to take the heat, Kaji unbuttoned his shirt and started tugging on it to generate a small breeze. "Shinji is about as big a pervert as Ayanami. I heard about the little tongue and cheek encounter you broke up, and I bet it was your little ward that started it," Kaji pointed the accusing finger at Misato. It was as he imagined, Asuka was a little Misato and going to either make his boy insanely happy or crush his fragile heart.

Grating her teeth, Misato grabbed at her hair in clumps. "Don't lie to me Kaji, he has to have some teenage boy in him. Please tell me he does. Because if Asuka did drag him into her room, did insist he lick the flower," Misato's steam ran dry and she slumped forward. Hands going to her thighs, the woman just slapped the toned muscles in frustration. "I've heard the rumor that Gendo was a big manipulator, apple doesn't fall far from the tree," the desperation in her voice was flagrant.

"Katsuragi, I checked his room about a week ago for any pornography, Ritsuko's orders. Know what I found?" Kaji pressed the defense of his ward. However a smell was wreaking havoc on him, Misato. Oh lord he could smell her, and it wasn't sweat he was getting a whiff of. No that would be easy to downplay, he was getting a good strong sniff of that tight place between her legs she was showing him. She had to know she was doing it, she knew he was with her damn friend, so why push it!

Pulling her top off, leaving just her bra on, Misato wrung out the sweat from it and tossed it to the pile. "I hate the heat, if I hate anything more than the fucking angels it's the heat," she whined. Keeping her eyes skyward she did move her legs together and firmly in front of her. "And what did you find, if you say condoms I'm going to claim victory right here and forbid Asuka from seeing the little liar," she did not sound at all like she believed a word she said.

Coughing hoarsely as Misato all but flaunted herself at him, Kaji found it very hard to pull his eyes away. "Nothing, Katsuragi, I found absolutely nothing. Hell I was tempted to put one of my DVD's under his mattress so he WOULD have something," he found himself smiling despite himself. "And Misa-chan, while you are a very beautiful woman, maybe you can put some of your clothing back on," he hoped she took the hint.

Slapping her palm against the wall of the cab, Misato let out a deafening scream. "I knew he was just the right type for her! I so wished he was hiding something like her old boyfriends," Misato mumbled. "And you've seen me in far less and I am not going to sweat like a pig if I can help it. Three hours in this damn thing, you'd think they'd have fixed it by now," she tugged at the small strip of cloth that made up her bra strap.

Any other day and he'd not be so incensed by her luscious body. Old memories of holding her and teasing her invaded his thoughts. He tried to combat them with all the good memories of Ritsuko and his genuine love for her, but he had loved Misato too. Smacking his cheek, hoping the pain would combat the growing lust, "So what is so wrong with your little girl hooking up with Shinji. I should be the one upset with how fast SHE is taking things. If she's just playing with him, do you know the blow back we'd get from that?" using that anger helped to shift his focus.

"It's because if it was her that was moving things along, I'm worried she took up some of my…bad habits," Misato found herself gazing into Kaji's eyes. "I don't want her to do some of the worse things I have done. Hell I know Shinji-kun wasn't to blame all along, but I so wanted to." Letting out a firm laugh, Misato's strap slipped off accidentally, "If he tried forcing Asuka, that girl would have broken him, no offense, but Asuka is bigger than your boy. Kaji raising a child, never thought I'd hear that one." Whimsy laced the cab as Misato's laugh tapered off.

Him with a child, Kaji would never have thought Misato capable of tending that bird let alone a teenager. "Same goes for you, Katsuragi. But I'll admit I think it did you a world of good. You've changed a lot from when we dated. You're more focused, dependable," he almost said beautiful but was able to stay his tongue. "As for Shinji, I don't know why initially I took him in. Sympathy maybe, but over time I've really come to take to him. He's a good kid," he wouldn't say what he thought of Asuka though.

Standing up, Misato pulled off the receiver for the cart again and gave the handle a few good flips. "Damn thing is still offline. You'd think an angel was attacking or something with how long this is taking," she sat back down right next to Kaji. "This way we can have more leg room," she explained as she spread her legs along the floor. "And he is a good kid. I wonder what would have happened if you lost that coin toss back then. Would I be raising him and you Asuka?" she asked in all honesty.

Kaji raising that little self motivator and gold star winning girl? Before he knew it, Kaji was grabbing his knees as he laughed so hard it hurt. "That would be a disaster on par with Second-impact. Me tending to a teenage girl whose idea of a date is rock climbing and running, and you with Shinji? Hell that boy would be your slave!" he swiped at a tear dribbling down his eye. No, this scenario was far better, Kaji wouldn't know the first thing in tending to a teenage girl, hell he was winging it with Shinji and thankful he hadn't fucked up to much yet.

Punching Kaji's arm with a little more oomph than friendly, Misato scowled at the man. "I would not!" she opened her mouth to talk but then amended, "Alright I likely would have. Boy is just so good at cooking and cleaning. I feel I'm being spoiled by my girl's boyfriend, how nasty is that?" she laughed and wrapped her arm around Kaji's shoulders. "Have you given him the talk?" she leaned her head against his.

"K-Katsuragi," Kaji gently took Misato's arm and pulled if off of him. "This isn't right. Can't we go back to just talking about Shinji-kun and Soryu? We shouldn't…" he tried to form some argument but it was hard. He loved Ritsuko, through and through, but right now he body craved sex. Due to his ape-man ancestors needed to make babies after somebody got eaten, he had the most painful erection and Misato wasn't helping. "You know I'm with Ritsuko, and that I…"

Misato kissed the man silencing his argument. When Kaji didn't resist she pushed harder and licked at his lips as if she were knocking on the door to his mouth. That however didn't happen and she pulled back. "Kaji, I still love you," she responded with her eyes closed. "It was a mistake. I know that now. I tried dating, I tried putting you out of my mind. But when I saw you with Ritsuko, saw how happy you were, all I could think was…why wasn't it us instead?" her arms laced around Kaji's neck and pulled him closer.

He shouldn't do it, he couldn't do it! They'd be found out, no doubt, and then the shit storm would truly begin. Kaji knew of Ritsuko's inferiority complex and fears of Misato, even one time would devastate the woman and he didn't want to do that! His hands weakly grabbed at Misato's arms, "Misato, please…we had our chance and we…we both went our separate ways." But part of him never did stop caring, and that nasty little demon of selfishness was saying they could try again. Or if nothing else he could get a quick lay and call it a day.

Peppering his unshaven face with light kisses, Misato wasn't taking no for an answer. "Tell me, tell me to my face that you have no feelings for me anymore and I'll stop. We could…could take it slow. Give you time to break things off with Ritsuko so it doesn't hurt too much. She knows…she knows how I felt, how I feel," Misato tried to rationalize.

Closing his eyes, Kaji did his best to regain control of his hormones. This was wrong and he knew it, but it felt so right to hold her like this again. Ritsuko's face popped up in his mind and he inhaled deeply. "Misato, I…" he opened his eyes and found Misato had taken off her bra. She looked so vulnerable, a fine china turned into human form, it would be a sacrilege to break it.

Just this one time, then no more. For old times sake, he'd tell Misato that it was a mistake after…it was only going to be this one time…Ritsuko would understand under the circumstances.

With his denial firmly in place, Kaji advanced.

X-X

It felt surreal to look at the dark cityscape without any power, but Shinji was amazed by it. Following Ritsuko's advice, the trio of pilots guided their beasts outside of the city after the angel was defeated and waited for pick up. The good doctor said it would minimize damage to the units and the city itself, Shinji thought she just wanted them out of the city and potential looters way. Maybe he would have been safer with the thugs and criminals taking advantage of the power outage than sitting between Asuka and Rei.

"At least it's not as hot anymore, nice cool breeze up here," the lone male pilot tried to keep the females peaceful. The battle had been easy, so far the easiest they've had, but there was no real joy at the moment. His current ex-girlfriend and his close friend were not exactly on peaceful terms with one another. "And I think that about evens us up for the volcano, Asuka-chan," he joked lightly.

Being the only one laying down, Asuka hummed lightly as eyes curled up to see the boy. "No, sorry Shin-chan, but you saved my life back there, and you know what they say about the life you save," her toothy grin promised either pleasure or pain. Kicking one leg over the other, Asuka wiggled against the grass in her plugsuit. "You are stuck with me for the rest of your life," she reached out with one hand and captured Shinji's.

"The same is for myself," Rei said softly sitting a respectable distance to Shinji's left. She briefly turned to him and smiled the briefest hint of emotion, but in the pale of moonlight it was marvelous. "Ryoji-kun said the same after you saved me after the Fifth," and then she was watching the city again the smile only a vague memory.

Now he wasn't the smartest male, knew social norms only a trifle more than Ayanami herself, but Shinji knew danger better than most. And he was in danger now. Upset Asuka, upset Rei, or maybe even upset both. He did not want any of the options, but the tension was thick. "We all fight together, just like today. We couldn't have pulled the mission off if any of us were missing. Doesn't that mean you both saved me too?" a weak defense from a weak position. But Asuka's hand, even through the suit felt wonderful.

Clicking her tongue, Asuka's hand slithered out of Shinji's grasp thanks to the remnant LCL. Propping her head up with her crossed arms, "I think you and I could have done it alone. It would have just been a longer shot. But we did win. We prove we are worthy again." She let out a yawn and batted an irritant out of her eye. "City looks freaky with no power. Like a city of the dead, what it would be had we failed," she switched the leg that was on top.

"Worth is not proven in battle alone," Rei leaned forward and hugged her legs. "Challenge does not make for the right to live. Some who have overcome great obstacles do not deserve the life and respect they had garnered," Rei's tone was harsher than normal borderline angered. "Not all is a competition to notch off," Rei's hands tightened.

Was Rei talking about Asuka or the bastard, Shinji couldn't tell, hoped it was the latter. "True, but then again not all challenges are bad things. K-keeping the apartment clean is a challenge and I like that," he joked. Both girls turned to him in unison with unreadable expressions. Asuka, Shinji could think was holding back a laugh, while Rei seemed introspective. "I-I-I agree with you too Asuka, the city looks a little off with no lights. Peaceful almost, but still different," he hoped they couldn't see his blushing.

"You forgot the chan again, I better not have to retrain you when the month is over," Asuka rolled over. Crawling closer to Shinji, the redhead laid her head in his lap using it like a pillow to gaze out over the city. "As for 'good challenges' I think I have one in mind for Misato. If she wants me to suffer for some fear of hers, I'm going to ask for the same from her," her hand grabbed at Shinji's leg.

His body tensed as Asuka made herself comfortable, but Shinji did like it. "Sorry, I'm still trying to get used to the idea," he'd never admit he was afraid though. He was afraid that this month was the end of their relationship, afraid that the time apart would earn Asuka a different more suitable man. He wasn't much, Shinji knew that, but he was trying. With Kaji as a goal to aspire to and assist, and with Asuka lighting the fire he thought he was making good progress. He was getting happier, he hated himself for that. All it took was a well placed stone to bring the house down.

As soon as Asuka let out a content murmur, Rei followed suit and inched closer to Shinji. Not as bold as the German however, Rei just leaned against Shinji's side as a support. The girl said nothing until a few snores emanated from Asuka. "You are not her servant. Do not change if you do not wish it. As we have spoken, to be ourselves is what is right. To do what others make us do is not," she did what he said she could when she felt unsure or bad. Rei held Shinji's empty hand and said nothing else. Her motives were hers alone and she offered them to nobody.

Shinji sat confused but content. Rei wasn't being forward or romantic, he believed. It was just her seeking comfort from one of the few places she could get it. Asuka's way of speaking had an affect on Rei, Shinji noticed. Sometimes it was good, but when Asuka became possessive it was typically bad for Rei. He held her hand gingerly, and as time passed he too felt tired. Fighting to maintain consciousness, Asuka's snores helpful for that, Shinji had to have hope.

Asuka said she loved him as he cared for her, this month wouldn't be a bad thing. Once it was over, Shinji would know if the girl was just playing with him or not. It'd hurt if she was toying with him, it would hurt one hell of a lot. But he'd know, and while he prayed it was real and true a small part of him never allowed for him to accept it.

"Hey look the lights are coming back on, should we wake Asuka-chan?" Shinji nodded his head at the slumbering vixen. Even in her sleep Asuka was animated and vibrant, it was hard not to keep watching her. Watching Rei shake his head, he shrugged, Asuka could see it when she woke of her own volition. "I wanted to ask you something, Ayanami. If you don't want to I'll understand completely, but I wanted to ask," Shinji sucked up his courage.

He wanted to encourage Rei, help her to heal, give her something that she cared for that would make her happy. Though it was tied to a dark part of her life, Shinji thought he had an idea. "Y-you listen to me play my cello a lot. I would like to…to play WITH you. If you…I mean if you think you want to. It might be…be fun?" he had to hope that after all that time she might have come to enjoy playing the violin despite where she got it.

For a full minute Rei said nothing, she did nothing but hold Shinji's hand and look at it. "I would…" she voice hung pregnant over the din of the cicadas, "enjoy that greatly. Would you procure me a replacement instrument?" Again her face hinted at a smile as she admitted her tiny wanting.

"Sure, just give me a few days," Shinji nodded vigorously. Playing with and for Asuka had been great fun for both of them. Sure they played mostly pieces Asuka liked full of energy and tempo, but somehow Shinji doubted Rei would want such pieces. Hearing the churning of an approaching helicopter, Shinji shook Asuka's shoulder to wake the girl up. Over the whirring of the blades, drowned out by the engine, "Maybe some day we can play together." That damn ideal of hope again, hope that his girlfriend might become friends with his closest friend. Shinji was a fool for hopes.

X-X

A joyous cheer went up from the crew surrounding her as Ritsuko finally got the air conditioning and standard lights back up. Not as deafening as when they heard the explosion from the Angel and the three burst volley indicating the children were victorious again, but still very loud. Amid countless pats on the back and comments, Maya did not feel as happy as the rest of the crew did. Something was bothering her Sempai, and Maya was intent on finding out what it was.

Standing below a vent, her smaller height allowed her to scurry through the throng of larger men, Maya let the cooling blast wash over her grimy face. "Once again Sempai you came through for us. You got the Eva's prepared, got the systems back up and running, and not once let the atmosphere effect you," Maya gushed. Ritsuko truly was a remarkable woman, in every way Ritsuko was somebody Maya wanted to emulate. Shame she was with Kaji, Ritsuko could have done much better.

Taking a small hand towel from Makoto, Ritsuko cleaned off the dirt and muck she happened across while working on the system. "It wasn't much of a plan for the angel really. Pilots had to improvise a lot so they deserve more of the praise. As for the systems, I know them better than most so I knew what to redirect and how to do it," she tossed the towel back at the man following behind her.

A sadistic smile briefly wafted across Maya's face at Makoto blanching at the nasty rag hitting his face. That man was in for a world of hurt at her hands for making her so panic stricken this morning. "Should we send somebody to collect the pilots?" she hoped Shinji was alright. Poor kid had to many troubles in his life, but a kind word here and there to him, Maya noticed, meant the world to him. Unfortunately thoughts of Shinji lead to darker thoughts, her lost brother and more recently Katsuragi and the insufferable Second Child.

Ever the apple polisher to women, Makoto winked at Maya, "Already sent a VTOL to pick them up. Soon as power was restored I radioed the order in. I figured they'd like the cabin of the chopper more than the ground." Moving past the throng of employees heading out for the day, Makoto was puzzled as Ritsuko headed the opposite direction. "Akagi-san, something you forgot? The emergency crew will be working all night to get things ready for the evaluation in the morning," he hastily put his bulky over shirt back on.

Wanting a shower and a beer more than more walking on sore feet, Maya was tempted not to follow. But if she could help Ritsuko, maybe congratulate Shinji, Maya was willing to suffer a little more. As long as it wasn't TOO much longer. Then something struck Maya as to Ritsuko's now apparent distraction. Where was her boyfriend, and for that matter where was Katsuragi? "Sempai, I'm sure he's fine. Likely got stuck in one of the elevators waiting for the override," she tried to ease Ritsuko's worries. Damn system was fickle about opening elevator doors after the power went out. Some would work fine, those that had access to sensitive areas had to be manually opened.

Opening the door the to the stairwell, Ritsuko's hair blew about as a gulf of hot air rushed out. "I hate it when that happens," she muttered and fixed her tresses. "And you know me to well, Maya. I won't be able to rest easy, or get a ride home, if I don't find that lazy good-for-nothing," Ritsuko's dry tone held an on timbre to it. Rushing down the steps, Ritsuko had to grab the handrail as she nearly fell over.

Keeping the distance between each other short, Maya was about to grab Ritsuko to keep the rushing woman from hurting herself. When Makoto bounced off her back, Maya did stop, "Why are you following us? I'm just going to keep an eye on Sempai. She's so focused right now I'm worried she'd hurt herself on accident. Or were you hoping to get more lies to spread about me?" Maya whirled around and locked Makoto in a stare so fierce he took a step back.

Adjusting his glasses, Makoto's hand went from them to the back of his head. Uneasiness and shame intermixed spectacularly on his geeky countenance. Unevenly he got out, "I, uh, wanted to apologize about that. Shigeru told me about what happened on the train this morning. It was a joke that got out of hand. Y-You must know the rumors about you, I mean if I know them everybody does right?" He took another step back as Ritsuko's footfalls echoed from deeper down the stairs.

Rumors, rumors, and more rumors was that to be the story of Maya's life? In school it had been that she was a delinquent all because she didn't hang out with the rest of the girls. Then it was that Akito was her lovechild with a teacher who had left early. After the teacher moved away, the rumor changed to Maya killing the child in a fit of anger. High school had been the start of the lesbian rumors, all because she wouldn't spread her legs like the easy girls. Sure Maya found women attractive, Ritsuko very much so, but that didn't make her a lesbian did it? So what if she'd rather actually spend time with women than men, at least it was more honest.

Wanting to let her friend, and he was despite all the grief he gave her, speak for himself, "Why don't you enlighten me on the rumor of the day? I swear I thought we were adults here, but parish the thought of not prattling around like a bunch of kids." What angered Maya the most was how she had to hear of Makoto's story from Shigeru, not from the man himself. Didn't friends try to make life easier for one another, she was trying too with Ritsuko and Shinji, so why couldn't her other friends help her once in awhile?

Another step back, nearly back on the top of the landing, shame overrode all other visual cues from the man. Shoulders slumped down, his chin pressed to his chest, Makoto drooled out, "Well two actually. One is that you're in love with Akagi-sempai, the other is that you have a think for the Third Child. We know its bull, your outburst the other day proved that, but the others that don't know you as good as we do." His shoulders gave a listless shrug as he robotically lifted his chin to look at Maya.

Typical. She wasn't like the other women so they all had to slander her to make themselves feel better, superior. "What if they were true though, what would change if either of those were real? What if I wanted to sleep with either Sempai or Shinji-kun? Would that make me a sick woman, dirty? Or does it turn you on?" Maya found herself walking up towards her 'friend.' Something in Makoto had changed recently, and Maya bet it had to do with his little tart.

His face turning red, Makoto continued his retreat. "Maya, what's gotten into you? I know it's not true," his hands waved about to ward off the advancing technician. His head collided painfully against the door, "And n-nothing would change about you even if it were true. It would be odd for you to be with a boy so young, but new repopulation laws and all. As for Akagi…well…" his momentum stuttered and eventually stalled completely.

Men just didn't know what to think about women that didn't play 'normal' did they. "Nothing has gotten into me other than I'm upset. Upset that my friends can't tell me to my face what people are saying about me," she took a step closer. "Upset that I have to hear odd stories started by my 'friend' to another on the bus!" another step. Now a mere inches from him, "I'm upset with you Makoto. You've changed since you started dating that woman. Is sex really that important to you?"

Brutishly pushing Maya away from him, Makoto grabbed at his shirt with one hand and the door handle with the other. "I've not changed! And it's not just about that! We…we love each other!" somehow he didn't sound too convinced of that. "You're the one who has changed Maya. You used to be fun, dedicated, and focused. Now all you seem to do is bitch and whine about Katsuragi and the Second Child. Maybe…maybe it would be better if we didn't talk to each other outside of work anymore," he couldn't look at her as he spoke. Door open, Makoto stood half-in and half-out waiting for Maya's retort.

It hadn't hurt more than it startled her, but Maya's heart was racing so fast and her breathing so rapid she got light headed. A surge of anger rippled through her frame, "Fine, go fuck that whore of yours. When you find out she's just with you to get access to Nerv don't come back here hoping to be forgiven!" Maya stomped her foot as she screamed. He didn't answer her in words, he just slammed the door.

Her last syllable reverberated into stairwell long after the door shut, and Maya listened to it fade. Stupid bastard letting his balls lead his brain! Was he ever really her friend, or was he keeping her around as a backup in case things fell through with other women. Well to hell with him and his libido, Maya didn't need it or any other mouse pretending to be a man. She was comfortable with her loneliness, it was a warm blanket that she wrapped herself up in. If you never expected a significant other, you never felt the pain of their absence. Nothing wrong with a sex life that was made of nothing but herself and purchased items.

She wasn't lonely at all, she didn't feel neglected and forgotten. She…she was happy with how things were. Not a thing she'd change, nope, not one thing. Let Ritsuko be with Kaji, let Shinji be with Soryu, let Makoto be with Aoi, and let Maya be with Maya.

Clenching her eyes tight, Maya banished those horrid feelings of jealousy out of her mind. Ritsuko needed her now, maybe she could apologize to Makoto in a day or two. Emotions ran high after a battle. Resuming her descent down the stairs, throwing herself down them with reckless abandon, Maya was shocked to see the door five stories down just shutting. Had Ritsuko stopped and listened to Makoto and her little fight? Signs pointed to yes when she opened the door and found Ritsuko only a few feet away from the door standing.

"Don't worry about him, Maya. He's always been stupid and quick to say stupid things. I'll have Kaji talk to him and get the fool to apologize," Ritsuko didn't even look back at Maya as she spoke. Resuming her brisk pace, Ritsuko made a bee-line for the elevator yet stalled in front of it. "Can you hear anything inside?" the woman asked almost breathlessly.

Trying to get her nerves to settle, Maya pressed her ear to the elevator door. Regardless of the heat that was going to take days to clear, the door felt cool and refreshing. Hearing what sounded like people, Maya quipped, "Sounds like talking. A man and a woman, can't make out what they're saying, but definitely two people." A small notion planted itself in Maya's head. Kaji and Misato in an elevator for over half a day…lot of opportunity there.

Hand stalling over the keypad, Ritsuko entered the security code and took a step back as the machine whirred to life. As the doors opened to reveal a fully clothed Kaji and Misato sitting across from one another, Ritsuko sighed, "You two missed a big show. Angel attacked while the power was out, that's why it took us so long to help you out." Her hand reached out to Kaji and pulled the man off the ground.

Pinching her nose, Maya was overcome by the horrendous stench from inside the cart. "Worse than a sauna in there. Ryoji-kun you need a shower bad," Maya didn't even dignify Misato with an acknowledgment. After Ritsuko cleared up the haze of memories from the bar, Maya no longer felt it necessary to play nice with the life wrecker. But something about that smell, maybe it was her imagination, maybe she just wanted to think Kaji was just as weak willed as Makoto, but Maya could have sworn she smelled…

Giving Ritsuko a quick peek on the cheek, Kaji took a decisive step away from the woman. "What I need Maya, is the bathroom. Holding it in for so long, I'm going to burst," Kaji patted his stomach as a child would have. Breaking into a run, the roguish man making a straight line for the men's room.

"Same with me, way too much coffee this morning. Next time an angel attacks and I'm stuck in an elevator, I hope I'm alone so I can pick a corner and have a squat," Misato joked with a little too much happiness than liked. Heading the opposite way Kaji did, Nerv wanted to keep the urge to steal a gander to a minimum, Misato went to the woman's lavatory.

Damn imagination, but Maya took a step into the elevator to take a look anyway. Nothing seemed out of place, not that things couldn't have been hidden or taken with the conspirators'. "I don't know, I don't know," Maya mused. "Sempai?" Maya asked as she thought she noticed something on the wall. Turning to find Ritsuko gone, she shrugged and went back to her examination. "Maybe I'm just trying too hard," Maya shook her head and left the cart. Nothing there, not that she could find anyway. "I hope I'm wrong, for Sempai's sake, but I just think," she prayed it was just her fancy.

X-X

Notes

A lot happened in this chapter, just the full degree of it isn't yet known. Trying to keep things moving but not 'too fast' on multiple fronts. Work has been a weird thing for me lately and its got me all out of sorts sadly. Hope I can take care of that and get back to normal soon.

Again thinking I want to write a fantasy based or themed story coming up. Comic but with ability for action…any ideas/recommendations would be appreciated.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	13. Chapter 13

Standard Disclaimer

Darn summer hasn't allowed me enough swimming this year. Anger and hostility abound! Oh well, them are the breaks. Time for me serious story and less mostly comedy stuff. Hope you're enjoying it so far, and I hope you're getting outside for some sun from time to time.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 13

The loud crash of heavy plastic on wood echoed loudly around him, Kaji saluted the act with a swig of his beer bottle. Bowling wasn't what he had in mind when he left work having finally finished the paperwork the Angel fight created, but something had to be done to get Shinji out of the apartment. It also helped to get his mind off of his less than stellar moments. Unfortunately Maya wanted to come along for her little 'pick me up' idea and wanted Ritsuko to come too. Just wonderful, the woman he had betrayed and hadn't confessed to was going to be around.

"Not bad, Maya, didn't know you were such an ace," Kaji congratulated Maya's spare. It was fun to get out, and Kaji did notice Shinji's growing depression as week two of the separation went on. "Good thing this is your partners first time or Ritsuko and I would be up shit creek," Kaji teased. Swatting Ritsuko's knee high white short covered ass as she sat, he winked at her scowl.

Grabbing his ball, Shinji's shoulder comically hung drastically lower, the lad's head just petered about. "Sorry, Ibuki-san, I'm not doing to good at this. I'll try better," much of Shinji's recent energy was noticeably absent from his voice. Swinging his arm and the ball upward, he held it before his face and braced it. With a sigh he muttered, "A lot on my mind today is all."

Standing at a respectable arms length away, Maya gingerly poked and prodded Shinji into the proper stance. "Don't let him get to you, Shinji-kun. And I told you outside of Nerv it's alright to call me Maya," she softly corrected with a warm face. With a nod of approval she sauntered over to the score table and her waiting bottle of beer. "See isn't this such a better idea than just taking him out for something to eat or a movie? Get him active and thinking rather than brooding about that girl?" she tried to force her idea across.

Yes Maya, Asuka was a demon incarnate and was going to suck Shinji's soul out through his dick. Did the woman really think that, or was Makoto's slander making Kaji jaded as well. With what he had found in the bowels of Nerv, Kaji was all for Shinji shacking up with Asuka over Rei now, no doubt about it. Whatever Rei was, it wasn't normal and would only be worse than whatever heartbreak Asuka could dish out.

"I don't know Maya, Asuka isn't all bad I guess," Ritsuko rolled her shoulders over noncommittally. "So what if she's an over achiever, girl has some drive at least. Not like a lot of other girls," Ritsuko gestured to the other teen girls at the bowling alley. Sipping a soda the doctor started clapping, "See Shinji-kun, you can do it if you have help," all the adults winced at Ritsuko's verbal slip.

Jotting down Shinji's nine out of ten, Kaji offered up a very solid clap. "She's just trying to psych with you, Shinji, don't let her get ya down," he tried to reverse the damage. Getting out of the chair, he grabbed his own ball, "Not doing bad for a first timer, and I think you got a few looks from the other ladies here." With a wink at Shinji, Kaji nodded as the boy did have a faint grin. Moving to the lane, he lined up his shot.

Patting the chair next to her, Maya moved over for Shinji to sit. "So what is on your mind today, Shinji-kun? Ritsuko said you gave Ayanami a gift this morning, something blossoming between you two/" her exuberance was far exceeding causal interest. Covering the hand Shinji had on the seat with hers comfortingly, "Things aren't so bad now are they? Don't let that other business get you down."

With a resounding crack, Kaji's ball hit home and earned him his fourth non-consecutive strike of the evening. Maya was just going to make things worse isn't she? He was going to have to have Ritsuko put a stop to that. Unable to tell Ritsuko the full story about the tank of Rei's, he did tell Ritsuko enough for her to know Rei wasn't normal. Blasted thing of being a spy, was if you told secrets to others they might tell them to the wrong person and get exposed.

Pulling his legs in as Ritsuko rounded the curved booth around the score machine, Shinji's chin dipped against his chest. "It's n-not what you think M-Maya-san," he was clearly uncomfortable using the woman's name. "Ayanami and I are friends, and I wanted…wanted to get her something that might make her happy. Since she liked listening to me play, and I know she played before…" he paused for emphasis. "Well I thought she might like playing for a better reason, maybe help her get over the bad memories," the boy ended up looking at Kaji for support.

Under normal conditions Kaji would have flashed the boy the thumb for a good idea. Get the girl happy and maybe she might turn around and make him happy. Kaji didn't want that now, not until he knew more about what exactly Ayanami Rei was. "Now don't be leading the boy astray, Maya. He has a girlfriend already, this whole bet is half over now. Before you know it the young Soryu will be back," for a change Kaji liked that idea.

"I got eight," Ritsuko announced as she sat back down and the shuffling recommenced. As Maya moved off to take her turn, "It was thoughtful though what you did for Ayanami, Shinji-kun. But I think it is more important to help her open up to others. Get her more friends so she doesn't have to rely on you so much. You can't always be there for her," her conflicted emotions were masked as she took a drink of her soda.

The boy looked out at Maya's svelte pink top and black slacks, but his vision lacked focus. "Actually, I think Asuka is going to break it off with me," he didn't actually sound surprised. "I see her talking to boys over lunch, she looks happy. And one of them was bragging during gym about taking her to a concert tomorrow. I'd call but that violates the bet, and she'd never forgive me if I caused her to lose that," he again didn't sound to upset about it.

Pinching Kaji as the man's jaw hung loose, Ritsuko was quick to try and offer some explanation. "You can ask her at the sync test tomorrow if you're that worried. But know that Misato used to do that with guys while she was dating Kaji," now it was Ritsuko's turn to sound upset. "She'd let whatever guy wanted to pay for her movies, meals, or drinks do so and then just head back to Kaji after," she leaned over to try and offer some support but aborted midway.

He pleaded for Ritsuko not to mention Misato sometime during the day, but Kaji had burned up all his good karma. Piping in to add to Ritsuko's less than flowery review of Misato's old habits added, "Yeah, this might be a good thing. Unless you wanted to see that concert yourself, you might have dodged a bullet." Kaji hadn't dodged two of Misato's bullets over the last two weeks.

A late night of working in his office two days after the attack on repair notices had the man well into the after hours shift. Misato just so happened to be working the third-shift that night and helped herself into his office. They talked a bit, mostly about how breaking things off with Ritsuko was progressing. Since they weren't, it was a brief conversation. Then Misato locked the door, talking got more heated. An hour later he was in the showers cleaning himself off. The worse of his bouts of infidelity had been two days ago when Misato called him to a love hotel. He was going to tell her to stop, tell her it was over and he loved Ritsuko. She sucker punched him with honestly telling him of her true and genuine feelings. Kaji was a damn weakly for that. But it had to stop before Ritsuko learned of it and got hurt.

Shrugging lightly, Shinji actually smiled briefly as Maya matched Kaji's strike with a strike. With renewed vigor, "I won't lie and say I wasn't expecting it. She's too good for me, and I knew this was inevitable." Getting out of the seat, the self-condemned boy, turned to his surrogate parents, "It's not a big deal. I had fun while it lasted, and I now I know better."

Lunging on the boy as he passed, Maya gave the boy's side a ticklish squeeze as she walked. "He looks a little better, you say something to him while I was up?" Maya pried as she was oft to do.

Grabbing Kaji's beer, Ritsuko swallowed the remaining half and set the empty down. "Shinji-kun just learned something important is all. Think he's moving on," it was hard to miss the self incrimination in her speech. "Oh, you'll love this Maya, Kaji learned something about Makoto's little girlfriend," Ritsuko shook herself out of her inner debate and scooted along the turn order.

When it rained it poured, and Kaji had no umbrella. Damn bitch of a girl had to just toss gas on the fire without knowing it. Shinji had been making such progress, and now…now Kaji saw the same frightening similarity in Shinji as he dreaded in Ritsuko. They had eyes of somebody that was on the edge of giving up. Ritsuko only had them when the two of them fought, oh how she'd have them if his damn stupidity got out. "Its sounding like Soryu might have picked herself up another boy. So while Shinji hasn't been shaking up with Ayanami, she's not been as…faithful," he dropped the last word like a ton of bricks.

Reaching over the table, Maya chuckled as she grabbed her beer. "Good, he could do better than that little tart. I told you didn't I? Told you she'd be just like that guardian of hers," Maya's intensity was borderline frightening. Taking a drink, she flailed her arm wide and struck Ritsuko's side lightly, "Sorry Sempai, just I knew Katsuragi was bad news once Makoto started eye humping her, the bastard, anyway what about that girl of his? Please tell me she used to be a guy or something?" the woman seethed a little too hard.

His own emotions regarding Misato having spiked with confusion, Kaji wasn't enjoying Maya debasing the woman he had at one time wanted to marry. "Nothing so definite yet, but I'm working on it," he stalled to calm his mind. Defending Misato in front of Ritsuko would be a red flag. "Turns out Anaheim Electronics did have an employee named Aoi Tachibana, but she was fired some three years ago. She was part of their marketing department," Kaji singled for another drink. What that meant Kaji wasn't to sure, but he'd have to dig to find out why the woman lied.

Clapping again as Shinji scored a spare, Maya whistled loudly getting several of the nearby groups to look. "Take a look ladies! Well behaved, cute, smart, brave, and single!" she catcalled the approaching boy. Once the blushing pilot sat, "You have to loosen up, Shinji-kun! Being so worried about what one little girl that doesn't know what she missed won't help you. Bet we could get you a real beauty of a girl tonight even!" Maya was all smiles after Kaji's little bombshell.

Getting out of the booth again, Kaji rolled his eyes. "You did say that Hokari girl was cute didn't you?" Kaji winked at Shinji's embarrassment. Was going to be hard to shift from pushing Ayanami to somebody else, but what option did he have. He hadn't even told Ritsuko about the damn angel in the basement of Nerv. How could anybody work there knowing that thing existed!

As he headed over to the lane, Kaji could hear the girls talking, much to Shinji's mortification he bet. Ritsuko was defending Misato…defending Misato! Would miracles never cease and curses never burn? He couldn't make it all out, but he could hear just enough to know Ritsuko was back on friendly terms with her old friend. Great, what Kaji always wanted but not how he wanted it. He wanted Ritsuko to have friends, get out more, have fun…like they were doing with Shinji right now. But Misato was likely just watching Ritsuko and gauging her emotional state, waiting for him to drop the bomb.

Oh he had fucked up, fucked up big time. His ball went into the gutter, not surprising. The damn thing tugged hard on his finger as he released it, his mind just wasn't on the game now. What he had with Ritsuko was real and genuine, but he was risking it for fun sex and the old memories of an old flame. Damn it! How stupid could he be, it had to stop, had to stop before Ritsuko learned. "Fuck!" he yelped as the ball fell off his hand jerking to the side and tearing off part of his fingernail.

Rushing to his side, Ritsuko's face was awash with concern. "What happened, didn't break it did you?" she took his hand in hers. Examining the hand closely, gently probing and pushing at the joints and tissue, she was exuded worry and affection. Looking at him erotically, "Want me to suck it to make the pain go away?"

Yeah, he royally screwed the pooch on this one. The rest of the evening he sat out as his finger throbbed with pain, his mood was matching. Maya continued to pester and sound the bitch in his ears. She sure didn't come off as wanting to bone Shinji, but he could see the big sister vibe in full effect. Ritsuko was her normal aloof self, no change in public for her. And Shinji, that boy that he grew to care for…well Shinji was unreadable. Did the boy really not care? Kaji, to himself anyway, agreed with what Shinji said. Take what joy you could from the moment, as you never knew when it was going to end. Damn he hoped their end wasn't coming soon.

X-X

Checking his watch, Shinji saw that he had well over four hours till he needed to start heading for Nerv. Good thing too, he wasn't really wanting to see Asuka, not after hearing more gossip around the classroom. Apparently his currently not-girlfriend was going to see a movie with the boy that took her to the concert the day before. It was painful, but not shocking, to learn of it. Not being able to talk to her about it was worse, but he was well versed in reading between the lines of things.

Just like how he knew not to stay at the apartment right now. Kaji had a look about him that screamed of needing to be alone with Ritsuko. So, Shinji found himself standing outside of Ayanami's apartment with his finger poised over her doorbell. He could just let himself in, as he did every morning to make her breakfast and lunch. But if she was practicing or reading he'd hate to startle her. "No use standing around," he sighed and spun on his feet. Maybe a good run would help, since he had kept to the exercise regime as a way of keeping himself occupied.

"Ikari-kun," Rei's docile voice wafted over the din of her air conditioner. Her door was open a mere sliver, just allowing one blood red iris to protrude into the world of the norm. Her fingers gripped the door tightly as she opened it too little over a foot. With a little more tenor she asked, "Did you require anything of me, or did you wish to 'hang out'?"

Caught red handed outside her door left Shinji with little wiggle room for explanations. Lying to Rei, hell lying at all was never his strong suit. If he didn't want to talk he just didn't, or he tried to change subjects. Those weren't options now, but to just admit to feeling lonely, well it was new to Shinji. "I…didn't want to intrude if you were doing anything," he admitted. When did being alone start to hurt…when did he start to notice it at all? When Asuka thrust herself into his life and stripped him of the comforting blanket of his illusions, that's when.

Pushing the door open wide enough for Shinji to enter, Rei receded into the sunlit apartment she called home. "Nothing I was doing is of great import. You may stay if you so wish," Rei's tone left a little lingering question. It almost sounded like she wanted him to stay. Picking up her new violin, Rei sat on the couch Shinji had helped her pick out months ago. Placing the bow to the strings she hesitated, then pulled the bow away.

Closing the door quietly behind him, Shinji just watched as Rei held the instrument to her shoulder. "Is something wrong with it? I didn't…didn't know what size you wanted so I guessed," he apologized. Crossing the still mostly vacant apartment, Shinji stopped when something caught his eye. Ayanami's satchel lay open on the floor next to her shoes. Normally that wouldn't have caused pause, it was always a little messy, but the shine he saw from the lip was different. "Buy some magazines, Ayanami-san?" he knelt to examine.

Setting the violin down on the center cushion, Rei shook her head slowly. "Ibuki gave them to me after my morning examination today. Though they are mostly confusing or filled with irrelevant matters," uneasiness pervaded her standard firm tone. Her hand stroked the violin lovingly, "The instrument is tuned and the strings prepared, but I…I do not know if I can play it."

Maya Ibuki, Shinji was perplexed by that woman as of late. The bowling from two days ago had been fun, but Maya's catcalls started to make him uncomfortable. He was going to honor the deal that Asuka and he set out on, and when Asuka said it was over he wasn't sure he'd try dating again. Why welcome pain into your life? So it boiled down to Maya meaning well, but in doing so carving more scars into his already eviscerated emotions.

Scooping out the topmost magazine, Teen Life, that had slide out, Shinji flipped through the pages as he headed further from the door. "Top ways to fix your hair, first date faux pas, low calorie lunches, and the best new singles, Did you read this Ayanami-san?" he asked. Taking up the seat furthest from the girl, the violin taking up the space between them, he always wanted to give her space. One of Shinji's big fears was he'd cross an unknown line with Rei and trigger another destructive outburst. "Is it interesting?" he had a hard time picturing Rei reading such articles.

Her head bobbed once as she kept her eyes locked onto his. "I am trying to broaden my knowledge of topics. Ibuki claims it will make me 'stand out less'," she didn't sound too interested however. "As for my interest in such matters, it doesn't matter," she picked up the violin and placed it on her lap. Her fingers danced upon its top, gliding along its side, "Why did you get me this?"

Suddenly very uncomfortable, Shinji shifted listlessly in his seat. "Well…I thought you might have liked playing. Y-you enjoy listening to me play, and thought maybe…it'd be fun to play to-together some time?" he stammered hard due to his nerves. He didn't want to give Rei the wrong impression. He wasn't on the make for her, not that she was bad or anything. He found her to be a very unique yet charming girl in her own way. "But if you don't want it, I could take it back or…" he lost the ability to speak.

Rei smiled at him, barely an upturning of the lips, but it was present and solely directed at him. "Thank you," she said simply. Putting the instrument to her shoulder, nestled under her chin, Rei began to play. Not perfectly, but very close, she let out a stream of melancholic tones that seemed to mimic the players normal mannerisms. For twenty minutes Rei played with her eyes closed with serenity. Then suddenly she stopped, the instrument jerked away from her yet she still held it. Her eyes began to moisten, "I have…missed this feeling. It was how it was before he…"

A sense of being punched in the stomach nearly doubled Shinji over as realization dawned upon him. Fuyutski used to make her play for him, and here he was giving her a new violin and asking her to play. "Ayanami…I'm…I'm sorry I didn't think, I only wanted…oh God I'm so sorry," he started babbling. The expression, haunted yet content would never leave his memories, it was hung up alongside her smiling face. "S-should I leave?" he was already standing and headed for the door.

She stopped his escape with one word, "Shinji!" It wasn't very loud, nor commanding, but her use of his first name held a certain power. With great care and respect she put the violin back in its case and shut the lid. "Do not leave. I was not," she stood up and twirled around. The sun illuminated her hair and skin, made her nearly translucent and glowing. "I am…happy," it came out as much a shock to her as her audience. Her fingers clenched at the patch of cloth above her heart, "Clean, it feels clean."

With his hand on the door, his arm bent at a painful angle, Shinji was captivated by the vision before him. It wasn't one of lust or even wanting, but of connection and relief. "I'm glad, Aya…Rei-san, would you like to play some more?" he let go of the knob. His arm thanked him as the pain subsided, on slow unsteady feet he approached the contemplative girl. "Or would you…like to talk?" he had remembered Ritsuko saying it would help Rei to talk about things. Was he the best suited for it? Hell no, he knew he was far from normal, but he accepted who he was and where he was. Asuka helped fill in that confidence gap.

Taking a few steps closer towards the door, Rei's hands finally fell to her side and hung limply. "For now, privacy. Later we can play together," she nodded to some internal debate. Grabbing her satchel off the ground, Rei shouldered it and stood quite close to her guest. "Soryu?" was all she said, her eyelids twitched ever so slightly.

Having spent more time with Rei than most, and more time caring about her than all save one, Shinji could read her fairly well now. Much like parents of identical twins can easily tell said children apart, Shinji could tell an itch from an intentional motion easily. Asuka upset Rei on some foundational level, their attitudes to different to mess well currently. But, Shinji found endearing, Rei would ask him about the girl. Why Rei asked, Shinji chalked up to Misato's standing order for her to keep tabs on Asuka

Taking a step back from Rei, having her less than a foot away set off his proximity fears, Shinji shrugged. "You know she doesn't talk to me at school, and at Nerv. She's hard set as ever on beating Misato on this bet of theirs," he tried to brush it off. A damn bet…he lost a girl he was coming to actually love due to a bet. But better to lose it while the damage was smaller, than to have had them cross a line and then lose her. His moroseness did encroach when he added, "I think she has a new boyfriend though."

Keeping her distance, Rei's shoulder rotated and the magazines could be heard shifting around inside. "I have over heard talk as of such, your reaction?" she tilted her head ever so slightly. Examining and remembering everything she saw, Rei would have made for a very skilled interrogator. With a quizzical air, "Are not such events typically received as negatives?"

He didn't want this to be the topic they talked about, but he really hadn't stated it. "My reaction?" he parroted as he strove to find the right words. Tilting his head back, examining the tiles of her ceiling, Shinji tapped his foot. "Upset I guess, but realistically I sort of expected it from the start. Asuka is…" he stopped short of gushing. Thinking about that impeccably maintained hair, impishly cute face, and razor sharp wit, well all it did was remind him of what he was to lose. "Asuka is out of my league," and if Rei tried at all she would be too.

Surprising the lad, Rei's hands when to his face and held it. Drawing his gaze down to hers, red on blue, Rei lurched in uncertainly. Her arms went wide as Shinji briskly tore free from her near embrace. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked with a slight tremor. "The magazines state that a girlfriend is to try and ease the pain of her boyfriend when sad. Physical contact is their highest ranked measure to do that," she recited as if it were a cake recipe.

Breathing was coming hard, his heart hurt as it pounded, so he took to the wall. Bracing one arm against it, he bent at the waist and tried to collect himself. Holding a reassuring hand at Rei, more too ward her off than to really calm her. "Difference between a boy and girl who are friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, R-Rei-san," he was suddenly uncomfortable using such a familiar term with her. Yes she was his friend, but until Asuka dashed the last of his hopes he wasn't going to stray. "You didn't do anything wrong, I just…wasn't ready for that is all," his vision started to be less blurred and his breathing steady.

What the hell that was, Shinji hadn't really known! Since his relationship with Asuka he had gotten a lot better about being closer to people. Confidence higher, self-esteem starting to reform, but after the bomb dropped he felt suddenly weak and exposed. Rei being that close, it trigged a fight or flight of which he chose the former. Touji's teasing about Rei liking him beyond just friends…well it terrified him now. Would he lose Rei's friendship like he would Asuka if the German's near total absence in his life now pointed to.

"What is the difference?" Rei asked as she retreated to her couch. Pulling out a well-thumbed magazine, she began to flip through it. Lazar sharp focus on the contents, she poured over it. "I did not locate any defining trait of a coupling in the literature that differentiated from our current involvement," minute traces of irritation crept at the sides of her speech.

Did he dare sit again, or would it be better to leave now and spare himself any further confusion. The watch wasn't any help, they had still about two hours left till they were needed. Stupid preparation for cross unit testing, he'd not even get a chance to see Asuka. Taking a deep breath he found that budding core of strength and sat down. Best to help Rei before somebody take advantage of it, "It's subtle with us I think. I think Kaji-san put it best when he said…a relationship is when two people wouldn't mind being alone on an island alone together with nothing else to keep them occupied."

Rei closed the magazine and let it fall from her lap. "So a sexual attraction is required between both sides of the pairing to make is more formal?" she swiveled to get a better look at her compatriot. "I am…uncomfortable with thoughts of that nature. I do not find you unattractive, the inverse in fact, but I am…" her hands started shaking as she looked at them.

An image of Asuka appeared in his mind, making him think 'what would she do now'. Grasping Rei's hands, the audible sharp intake of hair was prevalent. "Then that means you shouldn't press anything Rei-san. I think you might be confused right now. If you wanted me as a boyfriend, you wouldn't have that…fear?" he wasn't sure he was right. Rei had gone through a terrifying ordeal…but it offered him an out.

"If it makes you uncomfortable you shouldn't do it, never do things that make you uncomfortable. And if anybody tries," a cold burning fire light behind Shinji's eyes. He'd not let her be hurt if he could. She was his friend, and he'd fight for her, help her understand, and watch her leave when the time came.

Unable to take her eyes off the small touch of hands, Rei's cheeks might have blushed or it might have been a trick of the light. "A film while we wait to leave?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. She met with no resistance as she moved to the player Shinji had provided, and chose a science documentary to watch. Mating habits of higher mammals, and started it. "Documentaries, they are most fascinating," she never noticed Shinji's shocked and embarrassed face.

X-X

Smacking her lips together, Asuka fixed her lipstick in the mirror. She wasn't going to use eye shadow due to the humidity, it would run and make her look nasty. No perfume or any of her good clothing though, today's provider wasn't worth the extra effort. A nice movie that she'd been wanting to see for the last week, maybe get a meal out of it if things went well. Being nice to so many wanting would be usurpers' was a pain, but Asuka wasn't above a free meal.

"Hurry up in there Asuka, I have to get ready for work tonight," Misato impatiently knocked on the door. Cracking the door open a smidge, Misato let out a sigh, "Good I thought you were still in the shower. Move over so I can at least fix my hair." Butting her way into a place before the mirror, Misato grabbed one of her combs and started fixing her bed head.

Giving her shirt a good tug down, Asuka posed for Misato, "What do you think? Not to flashy is it?" She wasn't going to break down, not going to buckle. They were both more than half way over this little hurtle, and Asuka was going to win. Plans for the victory date in her head, Asuka wanted to drag Misato's nose through her defeat. Letting the shirt go she added, "And why do you care how you look for the late shift?"

Tugging most of the knots out, Misato closed one eye as she appraised Asuka. Confidently saying, "I'm thinking you owe me an apology young lady. Second date with this new boy, and you have the nicer clothing on? Thinking I'm never going to taste the young Ikari's food again unless I invite him over." Pushing Asuka the rest of the way off of the mirror, Misato grabbed her deodorant and started applying it.

The hell? "Misato, I'm not dating this boy. I'm using your tried and true method of being polite but not a bitch. Getting this guy, cute but dumb as a post, to treat me as I let him down easily," Asuka huffed. Crossing her arms, the German sat upon the closed porcelain throne. Crossing her legs, "You just wait, in two more weeks he's going to be back and I expect you to sleep somewhere else." It wasn't being a slut or whore, Asuka loved Shinji. This time apart, she spent a lot of time self reflecting on it. And her conclusion…Shinji was the one that she felt she most responded with.

Balking, Misato dropped the deodorant back down as she looked at Asuka through the mirror. "And he's ok with you dating other boys? Asuka I never had a man when I let those guys treat me. Young Ikari-kun is either not interested or far to trusting," Misato grabbed one of her work shirts and tugged it on. Reproach working its way in, "Plus, shouldn't you be worried, didn't you say the boys in your class were a little more perverse than the German boys?"

Leave it to Misato to contradict herself, Asuka rolled her eyes at the hypocrisy. "Misato, you forbade me from calling him as part of the bet. And you have your pet Ayanami watching me like a hawk at school and Nerv. Shinji doesn't know I'm doing this. Now if you LET me call him to tell him that's one thing, but you don't," she said hotly. Sliding off her seat as Misato shoed her off, "And like I said, Akito is cute but not smart. I could handle him if things got bad. Anyway I have the mace you got me." Pulling the plastic spray from her purse, Asuka flashed it to her worried guardian.

Buttoning up her outer shirt, Misato then reached for her hat. With a mighty sigh, "I did forbid that didn't I. Well I hope you're right, cause if you're so set on him I'd feel a little guilty if something happened from your bouts of infidelity." Misato sagely ducked to the side as a wet towel flew past her head and splattered against the mirror. Holding her hands up, "Look, I was expecting you to go behind my back and call him alright? I forgot how seriously you take things at times."

No she didn't, and Asuka was starting to know this. Misato, for as much as Asuka loved the woman, did not follow her own advice at all. "I trust him, when was the last time you could say that about one of your dates?" she couldn't help but dig. Advancing on her guardian, Asuka swatted Misato's hands away and fixed the hat herself. "You never did tell me why you're getting so dolled up for the late shift zombies," for that matter Misato had been a lot happier as of late. Hopefully it was something good, Misato didn't have enough good things for Asuka's taste.

Leaving the bathroom, Asuka following leisurely behind, Misato sulked as she stepped over a pile of dirty clothing. "Shit this place is a sty again. How come we couldn't keep it clean?" she picked up one of her dirty bras and tossed it into a pile. Dodging landmines of food containers and magazines, "As for today, well Kaji is working tonight."

That was a name Asuka didn't care for at all. The man was no good for Misato, to similar in style to really be good for her. "Misato, please tell me you're still not going after your old friend's guy? Didn't you tell me that it was in poor taste? And this place is a mess because you won't let Shinji come visit," she mumbled the last part. It was odd how she came to depend on Shinji for some of the small stuff. Her room was clean, but the rest of the place was a mess. Oh how she missed her little puppy, but once the next two weeks were over he was going to get such a head scratching.

Grabbing some toast off the kitchen table, Misato sat down to a warm yet open beer. "I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile Asuka, but due to all the angel related paper work I wasn't wanting the headache," Misato play knocked herself on the head. Sipping the can, the connoisseur of beer, blanched as she swallowed. With her tongue out she was vaguely able to get out, "Kaji and I are getting back together actually. So he'll likely be moving in here soon. Not like he can live with Rits if he's mine again."

"What about Shinji? He moving in here too?" Asuka suddenly was enraptured by Misato's odd taste in men. "If I remember he doesn't get along to well with that cold hearted woman," Asuka pulled out her chair yet hung over the back rather than sit. Shinji didn't talk much about his roommates, but when he did it was Kaji/good and Ritsuko/fearful. To get to live with him, well for that Asuka was willing to put of with Misato's poor taste.

Slowly, achingly slow, Misato's eyes widened as she put the can back down. Pushing the foul brew away, "No, Asuka. No he is not. I agreed to let you date him, knowing that you might be giving away something precious. But this month bet is not an excuse to let move your boyfriend into the apartment. Kaji and I are consenting adults, but you two are still just teenagers. Ritsuko said they were getting along better, so he'll stay there," Misato did try to sound apologetic.

Well that was the straw that broke Asuka's back. "That is such bullshit Misato! How can you tell me with a straight face that you can have your man move in, and I have still hide my affection for Shinji? I mean how long until Kaji and you start having sex? The amount of time I hear you going at yourself saying…his…" that look on Misato's face. Oh god, Asuka knew when Misato was ashamed just by looking at her. "You've already started to…he's still WITH her and you're…Misato!" Asuka exploded.

Drawing her finger across her throat, Misato looked panicked as if somebody was listening to them. "Not so loud Asuka! And it wasn't like I we just one day decided to fuck. Things have been coming to a head for awhile now, and it just sort of happened," Misato calmed as she grabbed the can. Pounding the nasty beverage down, "It's…not fair I know. To hear me say one thing and do another, but I've told you Asuka that I love him. I feel bad for Ritsuko too, I really do, but he was mine first. And I'm not going to let some stupid spat ruin what we had," Misato held the empty can for a moment then smashed it.

That damn hypocrite, Asuka was trembling with anger. Counting to ten didn't help, so she counted to twenty…still nothing. Once she hit a hundred her eyes opened and her nails stopped biting into her palms. "You can try and explain it to me all you want, but it's your friend you need to tell it to. I don't know all the bullshit you've got going on, but I remember stories of that guy. How he cheated on you, how he hurt you, and now you're crawling back to him," it sickened Asuka to see her strong and proud mentor so…lowered.

"Don't you think I know that Asuka? But…I don't know how to do it," Misato tossed the can into the bin. "I want her happy, but I don't want her with him," it sounded just as pitiful as expected. Reaching across the table, Misato took hold of Asuka's hand, "I'm sorry Asuka I truly am. You have every right to be with Shinji-kun if you want. Bet over, you win. I can't forbid you to be with him, and at the same time be with Kaji as he cheats on my best friend. But he will be moving in, and Shinji will not. That is just how it works," Misato gave Asuka's hand a squeeze.

She won…she WON! Giving Misato's hand a good shake, Asuka was to blinded by the sudden shift in fate to realize Misato's duplicity. "Well he's at Nerv today late, so I'll inform my little Shin-chan of the good news tomorrow, but for now I have a movie to see. I recommend you tell Akagi though, better to hear it from you than the man that fucked her and left," Asuka pulled her hand free and headed off to her date.

As she anticipated, the boy was overly affectionate and had plans so far reaching Asuka bet he could see the wedding cake. Her mind wasn't on him though, it was on Shinji. She had seen him of course, but wouldn't risk losing with that damn watch dog on his back. Well tomorrow she was going to give Rei a real show, and laugh in her face when Misato said it didn't matter. Yes, things were going right now, and soon she'd have all she wanted back. Good times, good times…and as she headed home alone, after breaking the poor boys heart, Misato was with Kaji again.

X-X

He refused to feel bad about the fight with Maya, but that didn't stop Makoto from spying on the girl while he worked. Nobody should blame him for calling out Maya's stubbornness or selfishness either. However he kept seeing her standing by that door hurt, and he just had to twist the knife. Thankfully getting the city back up and running kept everybody busy for the last few weeks.

"Oi!" Shigeru chucked a peanut shell at his co-worker. "Snap out of it and get back to work. Katsuragi might be all over the place but we have the big man today," the air-guitarist thumbed at the command box. Recalibrating the alert system, Shigeru spoke in low tones fearful of the attention of Gendo, "You've had two weeks to apologize to her, so stop brooding about it."

Grinding his teeth, Makoto didn't like having his mood broadcast back at him. "I am not brooding! Anyway, it's Maya that should apologize not me. She's the one that's been acting all nuts lately," he defended. Just because she had a less than stellar childhood, and Akagi was having issues wasn't any reason for Maya to take her anger out on him. Adding more fuel to his fire, "And she thinks I'm only with Aoi due to sex," that was pure foolishness.

Handing the disgruntled man some printouts, Maya leaned in close to his ear, "That's because you are. Nothing you say about her is real and you don't care." Giving the man a wicked smirk, Maya spun her chair around and plopped down. Not adhering to the lower volume, Maya was loud and boisterous, "But why should you check if what she was feeding you was true, you wouldn't listen anyway."

His hands stalled over the diagnostic tests they were doing, Makoto's body went ridged. She had heard him, hadn't she? NO! He refused to feel guilty or wrong! "What bullshit are you talking about now? More conspiracy theories? Let me guess Katsuragi, the Second Child, and Aoi stole your lunch money or your new vibe?" his glasses started slipping. Correcting the agitation he turned to his male friend for backup.

Alternating between Maya and Makoto, Shigeru leaned back and stretched. "I think its break time. My stuff is running a self-diagnostic, and I want to hear both sides of this little tiff now. I'm sick of being both of your sounding boards while you avoid each other like children," he gruffly pushed himself out of his chair. Clamping down hard on Makoto's shoulder, "If you even dare to say you've work to do I will hit you so hard you'll wake up and your cloths will be back in style."

If this was what it took for Maya to be put back in her place and things return to normal, fine. "Let's get this over with. I could use a coffee anyway," he mumbled. It had been true he hadn't really been working this morning. Giving the command box a look, the commander either didn't notice or care about their actions. Giving Maya a thumb towards the door, "I hope you have some more details on just how my girlfriend has been lying to me."

Roughly brushing off Shigeru's helping hand, Maya corrected her manhandled uniform. Leaving the bridge, "Yeah I do have details for you and you're little tramp." Walking in silence past several other morning crew, Maya held the door open to the break room for the men. "I know somebody that would have held it open for me," she snidely jibed.

Pulling a wrinkled bill out of his pocket, Makoto forced it into the failing machine. Maya was needling and pissing him off to the point of boiling his blood. Punching the button for cream and sugar harder than needed, his thumb was sore. "So let's hear today's latest gossip from everybody's favorite rumor monger?" he pulled his light brown brew out of the machine. Taking a sip, it burnt just like he wanted, "Or is today the day you step out of the closet?" When her glib smile failed to diminish he felt a chill.

Drumming her fingers across the table, the lighting reflecting off the green and grey paintjob made her features demonic in appearance. Clicking her tongue, Maya's eyebrows arched, "Is that the best you can do Makoto-chan? You're repeating yourself. If its rumors you want I have them. I don't go looking for them, they come to me. But this is more about what I've heard from a very reputable source." She leaned back in her chair, her arms laced behind it as to push her chest out.

Buying himself a candy bar, Shigeru bit the top off and spat it in the garbage. "I don't care about rumors, or Aoi, or anything to be honest with both of you. We've been friends since we started working here, and I want to know what the fuck happened to both of you to break that up?" he savagely tore into his processed treat. Spitting out pieces of peanut and chocolate, "So one of you, I don't care who, please tell me what happened after the angel to cause this pettiness?"

His right hand ringed around his coffee cup as his left dangled at his side, but Makoto's mind was not as relaxed. "Maya's just being a busybody is all. Always putting her nose in where it doesn't belong," he'd observed her long enough. Makoto knew Maya's buttons, knew how and when to push them. It came with being friends so long, she trusted him. Well he didn't need her as a fallback anymore, "She's trying to ruin others happiness because she's alone. So while she checks out the ladies room and junior highs she tries to derail my relationship."

Grabbing Makoto's coffee, Maya drew back but hesitated. Instead of tossing it in his face she set it back down with a wordless grumble. "I'm trying to help you, you self-centered ass. And all you can do…is throw lies and garbage in my face," her chair screeched as she got out of it. "Fine, I don't care anymore about you, Makoto-kun. Shigeru, sorry for wasting your time with this. If he ever grows up, you know where to find me," her head hung low as she headed for the door.

He had won! Take that stupid bitch! A sharp pain in his chest contrasted his mental victory dance. "What, Maya, not going to fill me in on the big reveal you had? I thought you were made of tougher stuff," he just didn't know when to quit. Not winning much, as he saw it, Makoto wanted to bask for as long as he could in the winner's circle. Nice girlfriend, some good guy friends, and a nice job…he could live without Maya. Reaching over to grab the drink Maya nearly pelted him with, "And if you ever feel like coming clean, you know where…Shigeru?"

Following closely behind Maya, Shigeru was filled with disgust. "You went too far this time, man. Maya isn't like that and you know it! You heard the reason and still you…Hope that girl of yours is worth it, cause she is turning you into a real dick," he opened the door for Maya with an apologetic shrug.

"Aoi Tachibana doesn't work for Anaheim Electronics anymore, hasn't for a while, Aoba. She's been lying to you," Maya listlessly said before leaving the break room with Shigeru in tow.

Pulling the cup away from his lips a fraction of a second before drinking, Makoto covered his lap in scalding hot coffee. Leaping out of his seat, he fanned his crotch in the futile attempt to lower the pain. "Wait…wait!" he called to the shut door, but nobody came back. Who had found that out…Maya said it was a reliable source. It was standard procedure to check out potential security leaks…but Kaji did those. Kaji! Kaji found something out about Aoi? Lies, Maya had to be using this as a way of breaking them up.

His victory felt bittersweet, almost like he lost more than he gained from it. Aoi did ask a lot of questions about Nerv and the pilots, but he just thought she was curious. NO! He wasn't going to fall for it. He'd ask her tonight, he'd trust her! They were the ones who were wrong about her, she said she loved him.

X-X

Movie night was again upon her, and Ritsuko for one was ready for a little relaxation. Pouring herself an extra strong drink to go with her tense nerves, she spied the living room. Shinji was going to be watching with them tonight, he was picking the movies, but that was fine. Anything was better than spending time working on the Dummy Plug and Nerv's other assorted black projects.

Tossing a straw into her drink, she gave it a good swirl, "Pizza is supposed to be here pretty soon right?" Shinji could have cooked for them, but Kaji thought it would be nice to give him the night off. Patting her stomach as she sat next to Kaji, "I didn't have time for lunch today so I'm starving."

Instantly wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Kaji gave Ritsuko's side a good squeeze. "Yeah I don't feel anything extra here today," his jovial mood was a constant. After sipping his beer, he nestled it between his legs and hit play on the DVD player. "Now let's see what Shinji-kun picked out for us tonight," he dropped the remote once the screen flipped from stand-by to playing.

Hunched over on the chair, Shinji's smile was nearly from ear to ear. "Yeah, I called a half hour ago. You wanted half plain and half sausage right?" his boundless energy splurged over into his voice. Leaning back and mimicking the relaxed posture of his peers, "I don't think I've had pizza from this place before. Anything special about it?"

Why it was her favorite type, that's what was special about it. "Deep dish American style. Sauce on top and really thick cheese," was all Ritsuko would say about it though. Drawing in her lovely poison, her head buzzed at the potency of her drink. Lovely, a nice movie, her best food, and her man was finally relaxed at her side. Hearing the door chime, "Be a dear and get that Shinji-kun? Money is on the counter by the door." She watched him nod and head off from over the lip of her bright green cup.

"Guess we were wrong about Soryu after all," Kaji whispered once Shinji was out of earshot. "Don't think I've seen him so happy before. Just wait until she officially gets her claws into him," he snickered a little. Taking another drink from his bottle, the man let out a belch of mighty proportions.

Snuggling up to Kaji while the interruption was gone, Ritsuko was the picture of content. "I won't worry about that if you don't. Though I could put contraceptive in the LCL to make sure she doesn't get knocked up," a pregnant pilot Ritsuko did not want. It had come as a shocker when Shinji announced the bet was off after he came home from school. Not that Ritsuko couldn't tell by looking at the boy. Like herself, Shinji kept his emotional cards close to the chest, but not today. "You doing better," she leaned her head back to gaze at Kaji.

Placing the perspiring bottle on Ritsuko's forehead, leaving a near perfect circle, Kaji flashed her the thumbs-up. "Couldn't be better if I won the lottery. You, Shinji, and me finally getting some time to relax," he drifted towards the TV as he lost focus. "Nothing could be better," he parroted softer.

Hearing Shinji coming back, Ritsuko reluctantly moved away from her leaning. Kaji was typically a little rattled and on edge after a mission, it took him awhile to get back to normal. Last few weeks where tense for Ritsuko, not wanting to push to hard less he get angry. She felt odd at times, like he was hiding something, or holding back, but today was different. Sign of good things to come. "What's taking so long Shinji-kun, I want some food in me," she teased looking over the couch her eyes popped open, "Ayanami?"

Standing slightly behind Shinji, Rei's head nodded lightly. "I heard the knocking and was alerted. It is late for company, I thought intruder. Upon Shinji-kun's clarification he invited me over," Rei circled the couch opposite Shinji's walking and took up residence in the open chair. Noticing both Kaji and Ritsuko giving her a skeptical stare she started to get back up, "If my presence is not desired I shall leave."

"Sit Ayanami, sit," Ritsuko was quick to recover. "Just not expecting you is all. You can stay if you want, eat too if you're hungry. Think crust tends to fill us up fast," she gestured to the pizza box Shinji had opened. Breathing in the saucy aroma, she was already salivating. Grabbing the already prepared cutter and plate, Ritsuko cut herself a slab. "Hope you don't mind scary movies, that's what's on the agenda tonight," she took a small sampling bite.

Ayanami Rei, Ritsuko didn't know exactly what Kaji did about the girl but she found it hard to care. Spending so much time with her, see her react to things, Ritsuko found it so hard to dislike the girl. Now it wasn't friendship or anything she felt, pity was closer, but Ritsuko wasn't going to damn the girl for whatever secret Kaji found. Plans were being made to get her down there to review it as well, but until then Rei was ok to visit. Everybody needed friends or they'd crack, Ritsuko knew that better than most.

Cutting himself and Kaji a piece of sausage, and getting Rei a piece of cheese, Shinji handed out the respective plates. Sitting back down, Shinji didn't quite know what to make of the mass of food on his lap, "Thanks, Ritsuko-san, I feel better knowing Rei-san gets out a little more. She's home alone too much." He tried picking up the piece but the top started sliding off the bottom and burnt his hand.

Handing the teens a set of knives and forks, Kaji laughed teasingly. "Try using these, makes it a lot easier. Once you become pros like us you can try picking it up," he demonstrated his master skills by lifting and biting into his piece. Chasing the deliciousness down with his beer, "And did I hear you two finally started using each others first names? Bout time, you've been friends for months now."

Staring at the food as if it were an alien beast, Rei held her utensils comically in her fists. "This is a complicated process," she was so focused on the food it started the three observers to laugh. If Rei could show embarrassment any better nobody at the table had saw it yet. Eyelids fluttered, brow creased, and her fingers clutched tighter, "You take joy from my troubles?"

Setting her half eaten piece on the table, Ritsuko gestured for Rei to do the same. "No, just never saw somebody so focused on pizza before," she still had a half-grin going. Taking Rei's knife and fork, she cut the slab into manageable chunks. "And I think it's good for both of you to be on less formal terms," Ritsuko saw Rei's eyes gleaming as they stared over her shoulder, likely at Shinji. If Rei was such a danger as Kaji insisted she was, wouldn't it be better of Rei sided with Shinji over her current master?

Jumping off the couch, nearly tumbling his beer, Kaji reached into his pocket. "Damn thing is set to vibrate, be right back," he yelped. The man did a merry dance as he tried to pull his phone from his pocket.

"So you two want a drink? It's Saturday and you don't have tests tomorrow, I don't see the harm," Ritsuko picked up and shook her drink for emphasis. They had stress filled lives, equal or more so than her own, and a little drink here and there wasn't a bad thing. "I'll make you one of my specials, but not as strong," she was quick to turn to Shinji. He knew, or at least heard, of her strong taste in booze.

Sharing a look with Ayanami, Shinji nodded once to Ritsuko. "I guess one can't hurt us, right?" he asked Ayanami. He didn't get an immediate answer, several still moments later Rei nodded since she was unable to speak, to much cheese to chew. "N-not to strong now alright?" his tried and true worrisome voice eked through.

Pausing the movie, it was getting to the first kill of the evening, Ritsuko headed off to the kitchen to make a few little drinks. She wasn't going to get Kaji all to herself so why not spread the joy around. It was hard for her to be upset when Kaji was getting back to his old self. Soon it'd be like that damn spy mission never happened. And so what if Rei had some secret, girl seemed perfectly fine right now. If she spouted fangs and a tail later, well they'd deal with it later.

Finding Shinji and Rei chatting, well more Shinji talking to Rei, and a pensive Kaji when she got back, Ritsuko did a double take. Please don't let it be another mission, she begged mentally. "Here you two go, drink it slow, and is something wrong?" she asked as she sat down and leaned against Kaji.

"Nothing major, just a…Shigeru is having a problem I'll have to help him with tomorrow," the man grumbled and took another drink. Grabbing his food, he took the remote from Ritsuko's hand and started the movie again. "Enough of that for now though, lets party," he let out boisterously.

Just her imagination, had to be, but for a second she could have sworn he was frowning. Shigeru had issues from time to time, but for him to call Kaji so late it must have been something. Well, she could always try patching things back together with Misato a little more since she couldn't go out with Kaji. No biggie, Misato was in a great mood as of late. Things were finally looking to get back to normal. It was a good night for Ritsuko.

X-X

Notes

Trying to keep things moving and interesting. Nice mixture of good and bad in this one I think. Hope ya enjoy it. As for myself I have to ideas perculating in my brain at the moment. One is the replacement for the now finished love hina story, and the other will be the replacement for the soon to end Eva/Girls Bravo cross over…so look for that!

Ja-mata

zentrodie


	14. Chapter 14

Standard Disclaimer

Finally back to this story, I do quite enjoy it a lot. Good mix of elements to play with, good and bad stuff. Summer is coming to a rapid end, work is getting better, and things have the air of progress. Good times, hope you're all doing good.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 14

The world had lost focus, things were moving around her but Ritsuko wasn't paying them any real attention. She just sat in front of the bay of monitors showing the three Children performing their duties, Misato was idly talking about something, and she just sat there. Late…she was very late, and she didn't know if that made her happy or not. A defective pill maybe? Had she forgotten to take it when she was supposed to? Would Kaji want a child? He had started being a little aloof again, but with his handler calling more often it was expected.

"Ritsuko are you paying attention?" Misato gave the scientist's shoulder a shake. Slurping noisily on her coffee, the captain's eye twitched with a hint of annoyance. "Look I'm sorry I asked Ibuki-kun to leave, I wasn't in the mood to put up with her this morning alright? So you HAVE to stay with me alright?" her cup clinked loudly on the console as she set it down.

Blinking rapidly as reality came crushing back down on her, Ritsuko felt her world physically rocked. "Oh, sorry Misato have some of my own…tests on my mind," she was running her own damn pregnancy test in her lab at this very moment. "Add to that worries about Shinji and your ward and my head is all mixed up," her options for the potential life in her belly took up the majority of her mind. Her chest inflated wide as she inhaled through her nose, it whistled and tickled a little, "what was it again?"

Pointing at a few of the readings from the test, Misato all but screamed worried. "We have a problem here," she gestured to Shinji and Asuka's reading. "Looks like Asuka and Shinji have both improved, they're equal now…but…" she hissed as she reached across the console. Twisting a dongle, Misato cringed back and sucked in her breathe, "I was afraid of that."

"What? So Shinji's got a better score than her. They're both high enough to not cause problems. What is the matter?" Ritsuko wasn't seeing Misato's point. Hell Ritsuko didn't care about the scores today, that was an issue for another day. Today had been another odd but queerly enjoyable session with Rei and the dummy plug. Odd how Ritsuko had gotten used to seeing the girl floating nude in LCL, and Rei did at least sound better. Seeing Misato giving her the stink eye, "What, you think a week of them going on like rabbits is to blame for this?"

Rubbing her temples in frustration, Misato did not seem to enjoy the humor in Ritsuko's statement. No, something seemed to be playing on her mind due to several aborted statements and a very pensive attitude. "First off I don't think our little lovebirds have done the deed yet. I've been keeping tabs on things at my apartment, and I doubt they'd use a motel. So unless you've been letting them shack up at your place they're both still pristine as fallen snow," Misato watched Asuka's concentrating face closely.

Relief, strangely enough, wafted through Ritsuko's tense shoulders. Her muscles relaxed as the notion that the boy in her care wasn't yet off reliving Kaji's old college days. Whether or not Shinji's personality was ready for it or not, she suspected not, Ritsuko was glad he hadn't ran towards adulthood too fast. Things got complicated really fast once that step had been taken. Would it happen? With Asuka being close to Misato's personality, Ritsuko had no doubt that Shinji's time was short.

"Well mother hen you can relax, Shinji-kun hasn't had the time alone with her at my place lately. It's been a week since that bet ended, what is Soryu's hold up? I thought she said she was going to drag him into a room caveman style," Ritsuko tried joking. It was still strange being around Misato, but her old friend had been popping up a lot lately. She wasn't trying to avoid Misato, but I was just peculiar that Misato had the odd habit lately of showing up when she got into work. "So cherry's aside, what is the deal?" Ritsuko was hoping it kept her mind off her lab and the results that she'd find.

Nearly collapsing into her chair, Misato's head lolled to the side and a bit sappy grin fell over her face, her body seemed to melt into the chair. "You have no idea how good that makes me feel. I'm guessing Asuka started to think of the possible consequences of shagging without worry. Guess I do owe Shinji-kun a hand in that. Boy has helped change Asuka's rather excessive nature since they started dating. Whatever you did with him, I'm glad for it," her head popped back up with her goofy grin. "And that is why we can't let Asuka know Shinji-kun passed her," the grin vanished as if it hadn't been there.

Shinji had been himself far before the time Ritsuko was given the opportunity to ruin his life. "I can't take any credit for Shinji-kun's personality. Some people are just that way, and I'm thinking it's due to his past," she had to believe Misato read Shinji's psyc profile once Asuka started dating him. Typing in a few commands, the tests were over for the day and the readings captured. "With his low self-esteem, I would argue that telling him he's the highest rated pilot might actually do him some good," Kaji would know for sure. Ritsuko was terrified of the idea of Kaji not being there…she had no idea how to raise Shinji alone.

"Alright guys, that's all for now," Misato flipped the intercom on for her announcement. Wearily glancing at Ritsuko, "Asuka you better be careful, Shinji-kun is coming up right behind you. If you start to slack now lover boy might just pass you up," Misato flashed Shinji a thumb's up. "Now get out and get changed little lady. You and I have…the new rules to talk about, and I'm going to owe up," Misato sounded like she was talking to the firing squad.

The firebrand's overpowering voice yelled out in a mix of adulation and exuberance, "It's about time we talked about it! I've…we've been wanting to talk about this with you for the last five days! And you!" Asuka's attention shifted from her guardian to her paramour, "You try and get above me and I'll show you what it means to get too big for your britches!" The German sounded happy, but Ritsuko thought she saw something dangerous in that girl's eyes.

Shinji and Rei for their parts simply thanked the two adults for paying attention to the tests and letting them out on time. Getting out first, Shinji saw to helping Asuka out of her test-plug and after a brief hug from the girl, saw to helping Ayanami. Asuka did briefly glare at Rei, but when Shinji quickly returned to her side, her foot tapping impatiently, she just latched onto his arm and dragged him off.

"They're going to need a hose to clean the mess off the showers if that girl of yours finds she likes the taste of adulthood," Ritsuko joked lightly after watching the show. Asuka did appear to be a more level headed Misato from ages past. Shinji was going to be in for a mighty wild ride, thankfully Kaji could fill in the gaps for him where Ritsuko couldn't. About to question Misato further, Ritsuko saw something that bothered her, "Ayanami is something wrong?"

Rei just turned to the glass divide with her impassive stare and tilted her head to the side. "Ikari-kun tells me not to do things I dislike and yet he…" she trailed off and shook her head. "No problems Akagi-san, I merely am having a moment of confusion. Ibuki said to talk to her when such issues come up," with a nod Rei headed off behind the other two pilots.

"That girl just gets stranger and stranger," Misato shrugged and reclaimed her empty coffee mug. "And I can tell you're still wondering why we didn't let princess know she'd been dethroned," she held the cup upside down and stole the last drop from it. Spying the room cautiously, Misato closed her eyes and started breathing in large yet patterned breaths. "She'd get very angry for being surpassed. Asuka would then take it out on Shinji, either openly or subconsciously. I've not seen her like a boy a fraction as much as him so…I'd hate for her inferiority complex to ruin that," she relented.

That did have a ring to it, and it didn't cut Shinji down any. "Guess that is valid. She still gets the rush of being 'on top'," Ritsuko saw that her innuendo stuck home as Misato lurched forward. "And Shinji-kun hears that he's going up to. Not as big a boon to him, but I'll admit this little dating thing has really shown a change in him," he wasn't as radiant as he was that one drunken Saturday but he wasn't openly depressed. Ritsuko could rarely judge Shinji unless it was something big. "So what were these rules you were talking about," Ritsuko was stalling. The longer she put off going to her lab the longer she could imagine things were going to stay the same.

Misato's left hand started fidgeting, it twitched and vibrated as if something was attached to it. It got so bad the woman had to grab it with her right to stop it. "T-two fold actually. First was the standard woman's guide to 'I have a guy over and you need to take a walk'," Misato chuckled nervously. "You can see why I've been putting it off. I mean I like Shinji-kun, but it's something else to know he'll be," she collapsed forward bending at the waist.

Was she supposed to feel that way about Shinji? If so…she didn't. Ritsuko's fear was Asuka getting knocked up, not the effects on Shinji's mind. To her, Shinji would be happy just being in a relationship with Asuka, as she was with Kaji, and all the rest was just icing on the cake. But if that was Misato's big concern, why did her slowly approaching friendship status acquaintance look worse after saying it. A sensation of icy cold started spreading, first from her womb out towards her fingers, "And what is number two?"

Oh how that left hand really started to dance and jive about now. Getting to her feet, Misato started pacing the small room, her expensive shows clicked and clacked as she stepped down hard on her heels. "Part of the bet with Asuka…well…she made me promise something," Misato twirled her hair about her finger. "And I've been wanting…we've been wanting to tell you for a while now, Ritsuko," Misato stalled for a short moment.

Walking to the window showing the testing chamber, a lone janitor was in there cleaning up the mess by herself, Misato pounded her fist against the Plexiglas. "There is no easy way to say this, and since he has been unable to…I'll just out and say it. Kaji and I have been seeing each other since the last angel," Misato's words echoed in the room and then silence. "The last time was yesterday actually. I-I know you're with him, but…but he was mine first. I made a mistake back then when we broke up. It's not fair to you, and I know you're upset and…" Misato's confession petered out limply.

"No…no…no…no," Ritsuko cupped her mouth as that cold sensation just up and swallowed her. Kaji said he had to help Shigeru yesterday! Numbness just washed up on her in waves, her vision was fully centered on Misato. Grabbing the keyboard, Ritsuko slowly and quietly got out of her seat. Was that why Kaji hadn't been nearly the same amount of time with her? All her fears, worries, and vaguely brushed aside concerns were real? "No…no…" she pulled the keyboard back over her head and…dropped it.

Jumping at the clatter of plastic on ground, Misato spun around to see the vacant expression on Ritsuko's face. "I suggested we tell you together, but he kept saying that…" Misato didn't continue. Taking a step away from Ritsuko, the captain made a wide circle around the woman. "Look, I know you don't want to see me right now…either of us. I know I wouldn't, but just know I…we didn't want to hurt you Ritsuko," Misato had very little ground to support her comment. Somebody with a smoking gun can't just say 'sorry' and expect the wounded to accept it.

Her hand was trembling violently as she pulled out her phone. It was a joke, Misato was just taking the joke well to far. Dialing up Kaji, he had the night shift so he was at the apartment, Ritsuko just felt that cold get worse. The random phone calls, the late night meetings, the damn elevator…she turned a blind eye to them. He had assured her that nothing was going on with Misato, promised her right before they had…

"Hey babe, did you forget something?" Kaji's rich voice asked as he picked up on the other side.

It was never Ritsuko's way to beat around the bush, and in her frenzied state couldn't tie her shoes let alone come up with a cunning trap for Kaji. "Misato just told me that you and she have been seeing each other. Said you were with her yesterday and not with Shigeru, explain," despite her most sincere plea that it was a lie her voice was cold and devoid of all emotion.

Silence followed by a clatter, the phone bouncing off the ground. A moment later Kaji was back, his tone off stride and unhinged, "I…Ritsuko it was a mistake. I've been…I've wanted to…" he fumbled trying to come up with the best words to say.

Regardless of what Kaji would have said, Ritsuko wouldn't have heard it. His initial comment was enough to confirm it. Her cell fell to the ground and in a moment of rage, she stomped the tiny plastic device into a pieces. Screaming long and hard, her throat aching from the strain but went unnoticed, Ritsuko crumpled to the ground, hugging her legs. She had known it would come…known it was too good to be true.

Yes, this was just what she expected the moment she saw Misato again after all those years. Hell, she half suspected Kaji would have left her for any number of other women. But that didn't make the pain any less hurtful. A small bomb went off in her soul, and the fallout hadn't even begun to fall. That was when the phone in the lab started ringing. Was it Kaji?

"H-hello?" oh how it hurt to talk, but Ritsuko had to. She had to put it all back in the box, broom away all evidence of her shattered life. "Oh…Maya what is it?" as much as she dreaded talking to Kaji she hadn't wanted to talk to Maya yet. But that mousy tech had to remind her of something she had suddenly forgotten, her test. "Oh yes, I was testing some…angel samples. What was the outcome?" she should have known Maya would have stumbled into her lab! At times Ritsuko wanted to…to… "Positive? T-thank you Maya," Ritsuko hung up the phone and just shambled out of the test chamber.

She headed to the shower, disrobed and climbed in a private stall. She was pregnant, she was with Kaji's child. But…nobody knew it but her, and if Maya had half a brain the tech would know what she had said was a lie. Alright…ok…she could handle it. Even though Kaji had summarily stabbed her in the heart, Ritsuko wasn't going to do the same. She'd take care of it…and nobody would know…nobody except her.

X-X

Shit could not get any worse if he had a hernia and had to crap without toilet paper. Kaji paced back and forth as the Eva's were being loaded up on the elevators to send them off into battle. While he wasn't in control of the battle, the source of his personal troubles was, he had to watch his boy head off to face it. To make matters worse Ritsuko hadn't been seen since yesterday. Over a full day of her being gone, and already Kaji's mind was dancing over the reproductions. Was she dead, drunk, avoiding him, or any other potential horrors?

After her brief call, his damn fool brain had locked up and just couldn't think of what to say in the face of cold hard reality, he had raced to Nerv. All that he found at the base was Maya who gave him one firm and deserved slap to the face before walking off. He tried asking the woman later, and Maya hadn't been the friendliest of people to ask. All the tech said was 'Ritsuko told me what you did and that she's taking off for the day'. Nothing else, no phone calls, no letters, his clothing hadn't been thrown out of the apartment. Nothing, and that was the harshest thing he could have gotten.

"Kaji, Unit-00 is in position, Unit-02 is moving, and Unit-01 got caught up on some power lines but is on the move again," Makoto was at least talking to the cheater. Pushing his keys hard and leaning over his console, Makoto was plastered over his screen. "No movement from the…whatever it is," he shrugged at both Misato and Kaji.

Her face popping up on the main monitor, Asuka sneered annoyed. "It's a damn angel! Can we stop skipping around the issue just because some computer can't make its mind up? It's either an angel or a sentient giant beach ball that wants us dead. Either way we'll take care of it. Right Shinji?" she turned her head to view her internal video feed.

"Cut the chatter Asuka," Misato was quick to silence the pilots' pre-game banter. "We have the Magi for a reason, and Maya is trying her best to understand the readings with R-Akagi gone," Misato gazed off at the vacant space Ritsuko occupied during battle with trepidation. "Just concentrate on getting into position and hold until we give the order," she said directly to her ward.

Turning on his own microphone, Kaji felt compelled to say something as well. This had been his job, still felt like it now with Shinji still on the front line. "Like M-Misato said," her name fell from his lips like a brick. He didn't know what to make of that damn woman now. He had loved her before, he wouldn't lie and say the sex was bad, but he didn't want that in a relationship anymore. Fucked up is what he did, now how to unfuck up. Forcing his resisting vocal cords to work, "Just keep observing the…beach ball…for now and once we have a plan of action go for it."

The pilots all called off in their various mannerisms their agreement. Rei was upfront and held little care, Shinji sounded reluctant but held to the command, Asuka said the words without any indication of caring about them.

The command bridge just watched the feed from the Eva's cameras with baited breath. What was this Angel's attack going to be, how was it going to try and kill them? Things had happened so fast that the whole base was shell shocked. Odd news from Nerv-America, and then this oddity above their city, all with Ritsuko being absent and unable to provide her valued report.

Flipping off his comm. channel, Kaji ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I think Soryu is going to stomp on me in her Eva," he bemoaned loudly. For whatever reason Asuka did not like him, and likely for the same reason Ritsuko was missing. But he had done the deed, and he had failed to confess. So…while he stalled to think of a way to seek atonement from Ritsuko, Misato pushed the envelope the other way. She assumed he was going to break it off with Ritsuko, not like he gave her any reason NOT to suspect it. FUCK!

Fixing his wrangled collar, Misato winked playfully at him for a moment before putting her business face back on. "She won't because she knows she won't be able to pilot or see her little Ikari-kun anymore," she had said in hushed tones. "Think we can trust Maya's judgment on this, or are we going to have to wing it on instinct?" she put a knuckle in her mouth and bit hard, an old tell of frustration.

"What is the status of the creature," Ritsuko announced her arrival on the bridge much to those who knew amazement. Her hair was a tangled mess, eyes inked in red, a bruise under her left eye, and the clothing she had worn the day before still on yet caked in a mix of blood and possible vomit. Shouting loud enough to cut through the haze of emotions, "We can talk about my being out of dress code later, what is the FUCKING status?"

Maya was quick to fill Ritsuko in as best as she could, but Kaji wasn't even listening to the words. He just saw the train wreck, wanted to rush to her and help, but knew Ritsuko far to well for that. Doing something in public would just get him hurt worse, but he still didn't know WHAT he was going to do. Misato still thought he was going to move in, her words from the night before all but demanded it. But he had to live to see tomorrow before it was an issue.

But as Ritsuko was being informed of things, Asuka's impatience finally wore to thin. "Shinji, it's drifting over towards you! You know what to do! I'll be right behind you," her confidence echoed through the bridge crew with raw terror.

"Ikari-kun don't…" Rei's request was drowned out by a savage war cry from the German urging the sole male warrior on.

Kaji felt his bowels loosen as the scene played out before everybody. Shinji, against Misato's orders, rushed faster down the street he was stationed than Asuka anticipated him capable of. Rounding a building, slamming the mighty purple behemoth against the structure nearly toppled it. Asuka's stunned exclamation for him to wait since she was still far too distant to help was answered by three consecutive shots.

Then all hell broke out. The angel vanished amid cheers of victory from the foolish and Kaji's wordless shout at Shinji. Somehow the angel got below him, they knew for sure now as Maya said the damn obvious, and what they saw defied reality yet couldn't be denied. The city was sinking into the angel, Unit-01 included.

"I-I can't get free! It's cold! Help Asuka!" Shinji was panicking and rightly so as his building sized mech had sank up to its waist in the angel. "Asuka help! Ayanami, Ritsuko-san, Kaji!" Shinji's comm. went dead as the mighty Unit-01 was swallowed whole.

Asuka had tried her damn hardest to get to him, but with her perches sinking just as quickly as she got to them, it was impossible. It took Misato's executive order that she'd pull Asuka back manually by her power cord to get the German to answer to reason.

They actually had to do so with Ayanami as the pilot of Unit-00 refused to abandon her compatriot despite Unit-01's cord going max length and snapping.

Great…just fucking great. "I asked how it could get worse…the hell is wrong with me?" Kaji lurched forward as if hit in the stomach. This fear was nearly as bad as what hit him when Ritsuko accused him of cheating…funny how it wasn't worse. The angel was back to being its odd ball form, Unit-02 and Unit-00 were back in their bays and the pilots, well Asuka, were demanding blood. Ritsuko gave him one soul shattered look of pure emptiness and headed down to her lab to work, and Misato…well Misato had left him to see to Asuka.

"Just great," he felt sick, and he had only himself to blame.

X-X

Watching the two remaining pilots mull about in the pool area, Misato was tempted to get somebody else to tell them the plan of attack. She didn't like it, not one bit, but Misato had to admit it was the only thing anybody could think of. Ritsuko had proposed it and she lived with the damn kid! But then again Ritsuko looked about as stable as a plate on stick during the briefing. She tried to rationalize away Ritsuko's pain, but Misato did feel quite bad about it all.

They had become friends long before either of them met Kaji, and Misato had hoped it would have stayed. Daydreams of them becoming old women together, teasing the younger generations as they walked down the street together had at one time been prevalent in her mind and heart. Then came Kaji and a whirlwind of sex, stupidity, love, and even more stupidity. The single time they all shared a bed Misato sheepishly remembered being more interested in Ritsuko…not that she was siding for the other team.

But like all things in Misato's past, things fell apart in a glorious explosion of her own stupidity and forced values. Kaji was reminding her to much of her father, and (to her anyway) not serious about the relationship at all. So they split up, but one had to go to Germany. So rather than the original plan of Ritsuko going and them getting married, Misato tended to dream big, she headed to Germany all based on that infernal coin.

First few years had been hard and lonely. Men asked her out of course, she knew she was attractive, but nothing stuck, not like Kaji. He became the image she compared all her dates to, him and his sweet memory. Then came that cold and distant little girl, Asuka, who Misato felt the overwhelming need to help. So dating came less and less, Kaji's memory taking up mythic proportions in her mind with nothing else to really compare it to. Few dates, few rolls in the hay since Misato felt odd bringing men home knowing Asuka was there, and the lack of a real man became staggering.

But all that ended when she got the notice she was returning to Japan. She was going home, a home she had ignored due to foolish pride and not wanting to sound desperate. What was waiting for her ruined her half held belief that Kaji would never change, never settle down, and never mature. He was with somebody, was raising a child, and a lot of his old annoyances were gone. Only the person he was with…was the last person she wanted him with.

Anybody else Misato could have cared less if she tore Kaji from them, even if he yanked him out while the two were having sex. Misato had long come to terms with her heart over the years in Germany, but to get what she wanted she had to sacrifice something, and that was her friendship with Ritsuko. No amount of rationalizing, lying, or denial could fix that, not after seeing the mess Ritsuko was today. She had burned that bridge, and her old memories of friendship with the woman filled her head as she tried to work up the courage to tell her quasi-daughter they were going to watch Shinji get bombed.

"Just get it over with like pulling off a band-aid," Misato gave her face a few light smacks to get her motivated. Pushing open the door, the stench of chlorine assaulted her nose, she headed to the small table where Asuka sat. "Ayanami dry off and come over here for the briefing," she called to the only one that could hear here. Asuka was off wherever Asuka went to be alone when in a crowd, headphones on and music blaring. Pulling off the noise canceling and very expensive set, Misato tried imagine Asuka's state of mind, "Sorry kiddo, its time to talk shop."

Pulling her mp3 player out of her pocket, Asuka turned it off and chucked it angrily on the metal table. "About time we did something, he does have a limited amount of oxygen in that damn thing," she huffed as she yanked her headphones off from around her neck. Her right leg bounced as if filled with electricity as she bore down on her guardian. "What is the plan to get him back?" her eyes got distracted a moment as Ayanami approached.

Standing dripping across the table from Asuka, Rei looked impassively on as the surrogate family quarreled. "Katsuragi-san, you implied we are to sortie soon?" Rei looked at a chair for a moment then put her hand on its back. Water splashed on the table in random intervals, but Rei showed now sign of noticing or caring about her current state.

Asuka had surprised Misato in nearly disobeying orders to try and save Shinji. The captain could not believe Ayanami had to be forced back to base, but knowing Rei's profile Misato admitted she should have expected more. They were not going to like this, no they were going to hate it even more than she did. But they had no options, the angels had to be killed. With her rationalization firmly set, "Girls, it is not a rescue mission. The U.N. will be dropping all remaining N2 mines into the angel and detonating them simultaneously. You'll both be present to contain the blast and react to anything it might have that we haven't seen." And now to wait the emotional explosion.

Blinking back, almost physically struck by Misato's words, Asuka just pointed at the captain. Not saying a word, Asuka's single extended finger jutted out at Misato's throat. When Misato nodded, a half frown and unable to meet her eyes, Asuka picked up her birthday gift headphones and snapped them in half. One half went into the pool and the other bounced against the wall sending plastic bits to the four corners of the room. Still wordless, Asuka got out of her chair, chucked that too into the pool and left to the changing room without a word.

"That could have gone a lot worse," Misato said to Rei who had yet to even move after the announcement. "Kaji was able to get the joint chiefs to push the time table forward so we'll at least try to do this before Ikari-kun asphyxiates," oh how that sounded like a real victory. Picking up Asuka's player, Misato pocketed the device and sighed at Ayanami's nonmoving near deathlike stance. "Something you want to add Ayanami? I don't like this either. Ikari-kun is a good kid, he's done wonderful things to help Asuka and there IS a chance he'll survive," Ritsuko had told them and it was a fraction so low it was comical, but it wasn't zero.

Ayanami's head just wobbled to and fro, a doll with a broken neck. "He…cannot die," was all Rei said before she followed Asuka to the changing rooms leaving a trail of water in her wake.

Shuddering a little, Rei's delivery had given her goose bumps, Misato rubbed her arm to try and give back a little of the warmth she had lost. "Well I've ruined to young women's days," she felt little joy in that fact. Leaving out the opposite door, more to avoid any chance meeting with Asuka again, Misato headed to the bridge and the waiting mission. Hopefully Kaji would be there, at least then she could lose herself in the hopeful future they had…if the mines worked.

The base was quiet as she walked the long white and green corridors, her shoes made terrible echoes as she went. A young boy forced into a war he didn't want to be in was likely going to die today if he wasn't dead already. Asuka was going to be traumatized by this and that hurt Misato more. The girl finally opened herself truly to another, and what did she get?

With all nonessential staff in shelters, Misato did find the command bridge empty save for Kaji hunched over a screen showing the angel. The mission wasn't going to start for another hour so likely the rest of the staff were drinking, smoking, fucking, or anything else they wanted to do before they might die. What did Shinji do before he…NO…he wasn't dead yet. Kaji even said the boy performed a miracle or two already. Getting Asuka to love him had to have counted for at least three.

Putting her hands on either side of Kaji's head, Misato sought comfort where she could. Heavy was the head that bore the crown, "How you holding up hun?" He stiffened when she touched him, he had to have been so lost in thought he hadn't heard her. "Still upset about the mission?" she'd have been if Asuka was in Shinji's place. But for Kaji it had to be a double whammy with Ritsuko being the one to suggest the idea. His ex just saying to nuke the area that the boy he lived with was stuck.

"I feel like somebody filled my legs with lead, my chest with ice, and my head with napalm, Misato," Kaji did pat her hand. Whatever was on his mind, it kept him staring at that screen. "Keep hoping to see him fall out of that thing, hope is the only thing I have now. He shouldn't have to die like that. Alone in some monster. Not knowing what the future has for him," Kaji grumbled out the last.

She knew were Kaji was headed with her little trailer, but Misato had been firm about it. Shinji, even before the angel attacked, was not moving in with her. Asuka came first, and having a boy Shinji's age living with her wouldn't do any good. Ritsuko would get better, the woman was to stubborn not to. And if Shinji did some how survive the bombing, Ayanami needed him close at hand in case of a break down. Kaji had signed off on that little missive himself.

Bending at the knees, Misato spun around the chair to get a good view of Kaji's profile. No red eyes, men never did cry easy did they, but a somber expression of massive grief. "You're right, but at least he knows you care…" she had nearly said 'cared' and was wise not to. "And it's not like you can't visit him at the base or something. Just because we're…" Misato stopped talking once Kaji did move. He just stared at her awestruck and dumbfounded.

Getting out of his chair, careful not to even touch Misato, Kaji pulled out a smoke and lit up on the spot. "Is that all you can…at a time like this you're…Misato he…" he just shook his head harder trying to force what Misato was doing in his mind. "We'll talk later, I can't deal with this and…us right now," Kaji squinted hard and sat back down. Eyes glued to the screen.

It was a big change, a massive change for everybody, so Misato let Kaji's request go through. What choice did any of them really have now anyway?

Slowly more and more of the staff came into the room, same morose expression of those attending a funeral. Ritsuko never showed up, Misato was glad to not feel that extra guilt. She ordered the bombing run amid an angry slur of swears from Asuka…Misato thought she heard a stifled cry. But before the first of the bombs dropped that boy did perform a miracle, a bloody rebirth into the world, violent and gory as the first. Misato did see Kaji crying then, but happiness was allowed wasn't it?

X-X

Laying on his bed, Shinji did not feel tired at all. After a quick contamination check and physical the doctor, a mid aged but nice woman he never saw before, Shinji had been dismissed into Kaji's care. The ride back to the apartment had been strange, Shinji could tell Kaji wanted to say something but just couldn't. So they arrived late, past seven, and Shinji still didn't feel hungry. Ritsuko was waiting for them, and she didn't look happy. The suitcase at her feet and grim expression were the punctuations marks on that.

Sequestering himself to his room, Shinji just tried to think clearly about what happened while inside the angel. Nothing felt the same, it was as if he didn't come back to the same universe he had started in. And the event inside the angel, if that was truly inside the beast and not someplace else entirely. It was all so jumbled and to make matters worse he was forgetting it all. He remembered thinking he was going to die, the smell of blood, panicking and attacking the hatch, and then it went weird.

That couldn't have been his mother, he couldn't remember her face! So the thing he saw had to have been a hallucination. But it felt so real, felt so warm and comforting. Arms spread out open and inviting him in, wrapping around him and holding him close, and telling him everything would be alright. A dream, it all had to be a dream.

"Why don't you just go stay with HER then!" Ritsuko's voice exploded through the thin door. "You've been fucking her for over a month and ignoring me, so what SHOULD I think Kaji?" despite the decibels Ritsuko's voice was queerly lacking in emotion.

Another thing Shinji didn't want to endure right now. Kaji and Ritsuko fought from time to time, and after being with Asuka so long Shinji understood it better. A couple could have arguments and still care for each other, Asuka wasn't always the easiest to get along with. But this, this sounded a lot more serious than 'you left the seat up again'.

A scratching sound on his door forced Shinji to roll off his bed and shuffle towards the sound. Pulling the door open a crack the two felines scampered in to avoid the dimly lit living room and the ongoing verbal spat. "Going to ride it out in here are you two?" he chuckled as the cats stopped to look at him. Artemis jumped up on his bed without a second thought, but Luna stood at the foot of it and wiggled her butt in contemplation. Scooping up the black cat, Shinji brought her cute face close to his, but was worried, "You're feeling thinner than normal. Hope you're alright," he gingerly plopped her down next to the other cat.

It was Kaji's turn to do some yelling, "Look I'm sorry alright! I never meant to…no…no let me finish damn it! I fucked up I know that, but I wanted us to all be friends again and it got out of hand!"

Scratching Luna's head, Shinji didn't like the sounds of things at all. They never got this heated up before, but Asuka had hinted at something before she gave him a kiss and headed home. Oh how he wanted her hear right now, something-Anything to drown out that fighting. But he had to stay for a check up and Misato wanted to leave so…Asuka had to go with her. Rei, well his father took her away for some reason that Shinji would ask her about later.

"Leave, go to her if she's so damn important to you! You have to love her more than the crazy bitch you live with right? Why else would you be fucking her and not…not…" Ritsuko's voice finally broke down into unintelligible sounds and a door slammed hard.

Whatever had just happened, Shinji was going to know about it soon, judging by the sound of walking towards his door. He was able to piece most of it together from the fragmented shouts though. Kaji had cheated on Ritsuko with somebody, who Shinji didn't know let alone want to. Kaji had been an idol of his, somebody that did the right thing, somebody that was cool. While he was growing fonder of Ritsuko, Kaji had been the real warmth of the apartment that both Ritsuko and he circled around. Now, well now Shinji knew the truth. Kaji was no white knight, he was human as the next flawed person.

Opening the door, Kaji peeked in and upon seeing Shinji sitting up opened the door. "Guess you weren't sleeping after all. Hard to sleep with all that yelling huh?" he asked as he found an open spot on the edge of Shinji's bed and sat down. Leaning back on his hands, the man examined Shinji's ceiling with great interest. "Odd, tiles are different in this room than the rest of the apartment. Never noticed that before," he let out a humorless chuckle.

Luna's bony body moved from between Kaji and Shinji to the boy's lap and went back to her purring sleep. Shinji mindlessly scratched behind her ears, "You cheated on Ritsuko-san?" He'd give the man the benefit of the doubt at first, maybe things were more complicated than he knew. Asuka did say though that cheaters deserved to be ran over by a truck driven by the victim. Shinji had no aims to cheat. Finding it easier to look at Kaji's feet, funny how the man still had his shoes on as if he expected to leave, "Is that why you were fighting?"

Falling back on the bed, giving Artemis a good scare, Kaji groaned loudly as he tugged at his hair. "I didn't mean too, Shinji-kun. Honestly I tried not to. But things just have a nasty habit of getting worse when you try to cover things up. Katsuragi and I have been…I really screwed the pooch on this one," the man sounded beaten and deflated.

Feeling the white cat curling up on his side for protection, Shinji used his free hand to pet that one. At least Kaji had been honest after the event was exposed and didn't try to hide it more. "What is going to happen now?" he could think of a few things but none sounded feasible. But Kaji and Misato having sex, Shinji hadn't expected that one. Misato seemed like a nice if not slightly sadistic woman due to her teasing. It was hard for him to see Misato goading a practically married man into infidelity. His voice cracked as he asked, "Things can't stay the same now can they?"

Sitting back up, Kaji put a hand on Shinji's shoulder and let it sit nearly encompassing the boy's whole side. "I'm going to be moving out tonight. Hopefully it won't be for long. I want…I really want to make things work between Ritsuko and me. Can't believe I let it get so bad. Sex isn't worth ruining a good thing, Shinji-kun. I don't know if Soryu and you have made that step yet, but if you're with her just for sex break it off before you do. Trust me, Misato and I have played this game in the past and it ended badly," his thick hand fell off and moved to his lap.

"Where are you going to go?" Shinji suddenly felt very uncomfortable and nervous. Kaji was leaving and didn't say 'we are moving' he said 'I am' which meant Shinji was staying with Ritsuko. Their relationship had gotten better, he felt mostly comfortable around the svelte doctor, but at times she still terrified him. Clearing his throat, stalling to keep his own fears hidden, "You're not moving in with Misato-san are you?" Asuka didn't seem to like him, and it would be strange to see him with Misato, very strange.

Getting off Shinji's bed, the shift in weight sent the boy bouncing to the side, Kaji let out a long and low whistle. "Don't have much of a choice really. Shigeru and Makoto don't have space, Maya likely would castrate me in my sleep, and I can't get into my own place tonight. So…and I know once I move in it will just make things worse…for awhile I'll be there. It's not like I don't have 'some' feelings for Misato…they're just not the same as…" Kaji stopped trying to justify himself to the teenager.

Following Kaji down the hall as the man walked, Shinji felt as if he had been betrayed by Kaji as well. Just like his father, Kaji was leaving him for something he couldn't understand. While Ritsuko was better than his teacher, she was still distant and aloof. Worse Kaji destroyed Shinji's ideal of the man. Gone was somebody to aspire to, not entirely but a great deal of mud had been cast on Kaji's image. Watching Kaji pick up the suitcase, clothing hanging out of the seems, he weakly offered, "I hope things get sorted out soon and you can come back."

Pitifully, Kaji nodded as he walked out the door, "You and me both, kiddo, you and me both." Handing Shinji his key, Kaji sniffed back hard, "Keep an eye on her for me. Told you before she's softer than she looks, and I did a real number on her. Don't let her hurt herself because I did something stupid. Just…just be there for her if you can?" With a nod, Kaji waved and walked down to the stairs and was gone.

Shinji just watched the hallway for awhile hoping Kaji walked back and said it was all a joke. Kaji never showed back up, but Ayanami did and asked why he was just standing there. Rather than upset Ritsuko more, Shinji visited Rei's apartment for awhile and told her about what transpired. For her part, Rei was attentive and listened carefully. She offered her unique insight into matters, and after an extraordinarily cute yawn, Shinji left the tired girl to her rest. He'd ask about his father later.

Plopping back down on his bed an hour after leaving Rei's, his phone started chiming. Asuka was calling and she wanted answers as to why her home had been invaded, and then spent a full two hours just talking. At least not everything was bad, Shinji reasoned. He still had Asuka at his side, and Rei as well he guessed. Yeah, it wasn't bad and hopefully Kaji and Ritsuko fixed things up before long. He had to have hope right?

X-X

Pulling out, Makoto rolled to the left and fell heavily onto his side of the bed. Three damn times already, Aoi was insatiable but finally he thought she was going to need a breather. Best part of the angel attacks was this happened afterward, Aoi and he spent the whole night together. They'd eat a nice dinner, get some drink in them, talk, fuck, talk, fuck, and then sleep.

Snuggling up to Makoto's right, Aoi put one refined hand to his bare chest and tugged on some of the scraggly chest hair. "Glad I don't work tomorrow, I'll be walking funny after tonight," she teased and took a nip of his earlobe. Resting her head on his arm, "So how are things now at the base?"

Internally Makoto flinched at Aoi's question, but he did his damnedest not to show up. Damn Maya for putting doubt in his mind! But it was there, a poisoned pearl in the oyster of his life. Petting her hair with the hand of his pinned arm he answered, "Not much but rumors now that the angel has been taken care of. Things were a little hectic when Unit-01 was absorbed, people thought the pilot dead." He was happy it wasn't the case, Shinji seemed an alright kid, but Makoto was more worried how they'd survive with only the two insane girls.

Closing her eyes, Aoi's hand strayed south to just above Makoto's navel. "Unit-01, that's the boy pilot right? The one you said was having sex with the German right?" Aoi yawned. Her hand made small circles about his bellybutton while her other had vanished under the sheets.

Please don't be wanting another go, Makoto pleaded mentally. The sex was great, but his body just couldn't take anymore. Wasn't three times enough? How many times did it take to fill her need? He just wanted sleep now, sleep and to ignore the growing worry in his mind. Why did an employee at an electronics company care so much about Nerv and its personnel. Playing coy, Makoto snaked his free hand down and grabbed Aoi's by the wrist and held it against his stomach.

"Well I don't know for sure if they are, but that's the rumor. That and something is going on between Ikari-kun and Ayanami-kun as well. But that is harder to believe considering…" he stopped his damn fool mouth before he slipped. Ayanami's abuse by the sub-commander was to remain a secret to everybody. If news got out of that, the political shit-storm would be mighty high. "Other than the pilots it seems Kaji and Akagi might be on the outs," he didn't know how he felt about that. If Kaji was with Misato…wait why did he care about Misato with Aoi's pleasant heat right next to him?

Her hidden hand made its sneak attack and grabbed Makoto's flaccid member and started to work it. "Don't like how you say that woman's name, baby. I'm the only girl you need," she smiled viciously as she worked up steam. "And considering what? Ayanami is that odd girl you mentioned. Lives next to Akagi," she gyrated her wrist like a pro. "Come on baby, you can tell me. Who am I going to tell anyway, the other bored ladies at work?" she cooed right before she kissed his cheek.

Making the mistake of releasing one hand to get the other, Makoto needed to think straight and having a hand-job wasn't going to facilitate that. Moment his hand let got, Aoi wrenched the other down to massage the other half of the bait and tackle. "A-Aoi why do you w-want to know so much?" damn she was good at that. He never asked how many lovers she had before him, but it had to a few or one really demanding one to get her this good.

The meaty sound of her hands smacking against flesh was dulled by the sheets, but it still filled the small room that constituted as Makoto's bedroom. "Curiosity really. Public gets almost no details about Nerv due to the media block out. If you don't want to talk about it, its ok," her hands slowly stopped working their sensual magic on the well abused piece of meat.

Oh she was evil, evil incarnate! He was so close, and his pride wouldn't let him finish up himself. So this was her game, get him primed up and ready to fire but then stop if he didn't answer. But while he wanted to answer her, some small ounce of dignity forced him to say, "You don't work for Anaheim Electronics anymore, do you?" His stomach cooled instantly and his toes curled at his involuntary accusation.

Her fingers recaptured Makoto's member, but didn't move she held it hostage. "Was a matter of time till you found out I'm unemployed. Does it bother you that I'm living off a trust fund my parents set up for me before they died?" she let her hand slide down along her hostage. "Lot of guys today are afraid they'd get girls that do nothing but stay at home. I was worried you'd not want to be with an unemployed and useless…" she started sniffing as a twinkling of moisture filled her eyes.

Unemployed that was it? It fit the profile, she didn't work for Anaheim and that was all Maya had said! "It's alright honey, I don't mind," he pulled her close and kissed her. "Look for another job if you want, or you can just move in here permanently. I make enough for at least two, and if you wanted to help with the trust, then it'd be easier," a weight left his chest so massive it made him ready for another two or three sessions.

Aoi was happy to oblige the man, and the questions continued after each time. Only this time Makoto was more willing to answer them. Ayanami's past, his evaluation of Shinji and Asuka's mentality, what he thought of Ritsuko, and countless other little rumors about Nerv and its people. Aoi was likely just bored, he told himself as he answered. What would an unemployed woman do with Nerv personnel info anyway? It was all looking better for him now. Come work tomorrow he'd tell Maya to her smug lesbian face that Aoi wasn't a threat, and probably could work her fingers better than the dike could!

Yup, Makoto was finally having his winning streak in life. Shigeru and Maya could go suck a railroad spike! Everything was finally going his way.

X-X

Author notes

Darker chapter I know, but things will be getting brighter in the next. As some of you know I don't like to linger on things to long and let them stagnate. To me stories have to move at the pace that best suits them. As this isn't a filler story, it needs to keep up pace. Hope it wasn't too depressing for you, but relationships are iffy things, and people are hardly the most sane when they've had their emotions flailed.

Well enough of me justifying my choices, hope you liked this chapter. Oh and things might be getting a little more delayed for a few weeks as I've gone from having NO projects to code to having THREE that I'm the only developer for and they want it done ASAP so I'll likely have a lot of overtime and that drains the creative juices.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie-dot-geo-at-yahoo-dot-com)


	15. Chapter 15

Standard Disclaimer

Man work was a beast last week, and my projects are just going to get more stressful till its over at the end of the month. Hope you don't mind the delays and such, but not much else I can do. Writing is a thing I do when I can, which stinks but that's life. Well I hope you're getting ready for Halloween…its always epic.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 15

Sitting on his bed, already dressed and ready for school, Shinji eyed his cello in the corner. He'd been playing over at Ayanami's a lot over the last week and a half, or doing random things with Asuka. Anything to stay out of the apartment, to keep away from accepting reality. The dates were great, but even Asuka was out of sorts with the sudden changes, which was why they didn't spend even more time together. Shinji didn't want to admit it, but when Asuka got depressed or upset it was a little frightening.

Getting off the mattress, Luna scampered off if and out the door, he popped his back and grabbed his satchel. Kaji was still gone, Shinji didn't like that fact. Life had changed dramatically since that night, and it was not for the better. With trepidation Shinji stood by the ajar door just listening. Quiet, it was very quiet this morning, some days that was good, others it wasn't. "Well Maya-san was over last night, maybe she's in a better mood now," Shinji reasoned as he pulled the door open enough for himself.

Maya had been over quite often, more so than Shinji was comfortable with. In short bursts he could put on his complementary face and interact with Maya, but the more he was around her the more uneasy he became. It was Maya's insistence that Asuka wasn't good for him, that Asuka was a 'bad girl', and that he should find somebody better suited for him. Shinji didn't like hearing that, he was leery to admit it, but the bit 'L' word was flirting around in his mind dangerously.

Stepping out into the still and dark apartment, Shinji headed to the kitchen and started making a small breakfast for Ayanami and himself. "Maya-san means well, it's just," Shinji shrugged as he turned the heater of the stove to low. While he admitted he had opened up greatly to people, Asuka's influence, something about Maya's negativity towards his girlfriend irked him. If he knew WHY Maya was so hard on the German it might be better, but he wasn't going to ask.

"Ritsuko-san, d-do you want some breakfast?" he called out loudly with just a note of fear in his voice. Feeling a warm body brush up against his legs, Shinji found his two feline friends were wanting there breakfast as well. "I feel bad for her," he eyed her closed door. Cracking open a can of wet-cat food for the very vocal cats, he dropped it in there bowl. "Guess she's still sleeping," he mused and turned back to his cooking.

Sleeping a lot, drinking a lot, and acting strange were the big changes in Ritsuko as Shinji could see. The first few days after Kaji left, Shinji had feared the woman might do something drastic. Even as social awkward as he was, Shinji had seen the signs of severe depression borderline suicidal tendencies. The night following Kaji's departure, Shinji found the woman standing over the sink burning all of the photos of Kaji and her. When he asked her about it, Ritsuko simply replied 'why keep them?'.

Stirring the broth, Shinji shuddered at the memory of that odd night. "She's gotten better though," he nodded to his analysis. Maya had been instrumental in knocking the funk out of Ritsuko, he noted and was grateful for. It pained him to think that he didn't know what HE could do for Ritsuko. He liked her alright, living with her for so long it was hard not to develop some fondness for her, and it was hard to see her brought so low. Tapping the wooden spoon to his chin, "Will I be like that when Asuka…"

Shaking that image out of his head, impossible to banish but he could suppress it. Asuka was very vocal with him about her dislike of Kaji at her apartment. But what Shinji noticed more then Asuka's dislike of Kaji, was her hatred of time lost with Misato. 'Kaji is stealing her away', 'She doesn't have time for me anymore', and 'She's always making kissy faces at him' were Asuka's general completes whenever they spent time together.

He stopped stirring the meatless broth and turned off the heat with a languished sigh. "It's all she talks about anymore. And I don't…what can I do about any of this?" he asked the busily eating cats. It was the sense of powerlessness that pervaded his waking hours. He couldn't help Ritsuko cope with the pain of abandonment, he couldn't help Asuka and Misato come to terms, and he could see Maya trying her best but he just couldn't help her either.

Everything was falling apart around him, and try as he might to hold it together it was like sand in his palms.

Pouring the broth into a sealable bowl, Shinji smacked his face hard to knock the funk out of his head. "No! If you wallow like this you'll not do anything. Didn't Asuka teach you anything?" he nodded angrily. The old him would have just sat there and let if fall around in flames, but not the new him! No, he had to at least try, try and keep what he cherished and fix what he could. Getting Ritsuko and Kaji back together, that was outside his powers but he COULD help Ritsuko in his own way.

"Kaji-san said she liked…" nodded Shinji went back to the refrigerator and pulled out a few random elements. He hardly made American food unless he was cooking for Asuka, something he hadn't done since the split, but he was well skilled at it. Pancakes, Kaji said when he first moved it that Ritsuko loved them. Kaji went on to say he would make them for Ritsuko as a peace offering whenever he pissed her off. Cracking the eggs into a bowl, "Well I can at least try and make things nicer for her."

While the suicidal fear was gone, Ritsuko still moved about as if in a dreamlike haze. Coming home from work, throwing a movie in, and getting plastered to the point of passing out on the couch. Shinji had moved her to her bedroom those few times, and tried to forget how she called him Kaji, and asked if he wanted a little fun, during a few lapse moments of sobriety.

Once the mound of pancakes were finished, the dishes washed, and the cats appeased, Shinji tossed his apron on the hook and smiled. "Yeah, I need to try and help her get over this too. We might not get along great, but she deserves…" he thought she deserved something more than just a border. Friends maybe, closer than the arms length they kept one another. Hell if things never got better between the two adults, it was just going to be Shinji and her from now on.

Feeling the call of nature, Shinji headed to the bathroom before making the trip to rouse the disheartened scientist. Maybe it was his more positive attitude, not being totally awake yet, or just carelessness but Shinji didn't notice the light was already one when he opened the door. When he pulled it open, Shinji was granted a full frontal view of Ritsuko standing and drying her hair.

Hand gripping the door, Shinji was paralyzed with a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and fixation. He had noticed it vaguely from time to time, but never took full stock in it until now. Ritsuko was a beautiful woman, very much so. It wasn't shout out loud beauty like Misato had, it was more subtle and drawing. But eclipsed with the moisture of the bath still clinging to her capturing the light, her more relaxed (compared to her typical stiffness) posture, Ritsuko was a vision. And as a side note he noticed the tuft of hair by her legs was not blond.

Not making a move to cover herself, hardly reacting at all to the intrusion, Ritsuko titled her head slightly. "Either come in or shut the door, you're letting the heat out," she sounded bored or non-pulsed at the sudden intrusion of her younger ward. Continuing to rub at her scalp, "Maya and I didn't keep you up last night did we?"

Opening his mouth to talk, Shinji was vaguely aware that he was unable to say a word. When Ritsuko shifted away from him, more towards the mirror, the spell was broken and Shinji quickly vacated the room and shut the door in all due haste. "Sorry! Sorry Ritsuko-san, I thought you were-were still sleeping. And no, no I didn't hear anything," he lied but with the door shut he hoped she wouldn't notice.

He had listened intently to Maya and Ritsuko's conversation well into the late of night. Ritsuko's crying fit, Maya's constant attempts to keep the doctor's spirits up with promises of 'other fish' and 'he doesn't know what he lost', Shinji heard it all. Time heals wounds, better to love and lost than to ever love at all, and countless other platitudes wafted through Shinji's head.

Seeing Ritsuko and thinking how he'd take Asuka's eventual boredom with him, he thought whoever said that was full of shit. Some wounds could scab over, but heal? That was a fools wish.

Leaning against the door, Shinji knocked the back of his head against the door in frustration. "I-uh-I made you some pancakes, Ritsuko-san. T-they're on the table next to the coffee. I'm..I'm going to go have breakfast with Ayanami," he shutter sighed. Why hadn't she reacted to him? Why hadn't she gotten upset, embarrassed, hell why didn't she show any care that he had just seen _all_ of her?

Lazily calling through the door, Ritsuko still sounded as if she didn't care. "Thanks, Shinji-kun. I know things have been, different, lately. Oh and Maya said she'll be coming home again with me tonight, so just a heads up," she could be hard shuffling about behind the thin door.

Grabbing the food and his school gear, Shinji quickly vacated the apartment. The surrealism of what just happened left his fingers twitching and his breathing ragged. The very few times he'd seen Asuka in all her wondrous glory, the girl appeared apprehensive and a trifle nervous. For Asuka to show any sign of weakness was one thing, but Shinji was her boyfriend so it was one thing. For Ritsuko to be so nonchalant about it was just, he didn't know but it made him think of many worrisome things.

He wouldn't tell anybody about it though, nothing good would come from that. No, it was a one time freak occurrence that he wasn't going to think about any further. Just a tired or hung-over Ritsuko not realizing she was nude is all that was. Standing outside Rei's door, Shinji set his satchel down and went to ring the buzzer but stopped.

Closing his eyes, he grabbed the door handle and depressed it. He gritted his teeth as it depressed and the door swung open. "Rei-san, what did I say about locking the door? It's not safe for you to leave it unlocked," he felt like he was a broken record. Shutting, and locking, the door behind him, Shinji advanced into the moderately dirty apartment. Rei never did take well to cleaning, he was sad to admit. "I'll clean up a bit after school if Asuka doesn't want to hang out," he stepped over a pile of junk mail.

Looking over her shoulder from the couch, Rei set down whatever magazine Maya had last given her and stood up. "I recently unlocked it to allow you entry. It is locked when company is not expected," she replied with a hint of humor. Subtle and hard to read, Rei was developing a broader spectrum of emotions. Most if not all were currently only practiced or seen on Shinji, but he was appreciative of the effort. Taking the container from Shinji's hand, "You are later than normal, is Akagi unwell?"

Was that concern Shinji heard in Rei's voice or was he hearing what he wanted to? Often he thought he was picking up stray concerns of Rei only to have it be just his wishes, but this time it was hard to deny. "S-she's fine, better than the last few days. Maya-san was over last night till late and they stay up talking. Ritsuko-san seems to be getting over the hardest part," or so he so wished to believe.

Without commenting, Rei simply nodded and headed to the small table where the bowls were waiting. The girl poured the two bowls as she had the last few days Shinji opted to avoid eating with Ritsuko. Rei never complained when Shinji would eat with her, quite the opposite in fact. She had actually stated she enjoyed the meals, saying 'meals tasted better' when they ate together.

As Rei started to dine, Shinji helped himself to the only other chair at the table, and began to dine. "So what was the latest magazine Maya-san gave you? I didn't disturb you did I?" he knew she would tell him if he had been. Rei, he was so happy to know, would not lie or tell him what he wanted to here. She was honest to a fault, or simple said she couldn't say. No guess work, no hesitation, no doubt. Touji and Kensuke's damn comments made him occasionally pause as a 'red question' came to mind. Best not to ask those.

Ripping off a hunk of bread, Rei didn't need slices unless she wanted a sandwich, she dunked it in the broth. With well prepared soup dribbling down her chin, "It is another of the dating magazines. I was reading an article regarding face panting to attract male attention, but the complexion guide left me with little options." Her eyes lingered on Shinji for a moment, a puzzled knot to her brow, and then she went back to eating. Her unkempt hair swayed listlessly under her assault of the dish.

Thankfully he had calmed down enough from his encounter with Ritsuko, or Shinji would have missed the faint tell. "I don't think you should put to much stock in those magazines. You have fair skin is all, I'm sure if you actually 'wanted' to use that stuff you'd find something that worked," Shinji smiled at the girl. He suspected Rei was feeling uncomfortable again with her skin tone. If Maya had realized that those magazines would have sparked Rei finally noticing her unique physical condition, he suspected she'd not have given the magazines.

The tiniest hint of a smile crested Rei's lips, "If you believe so." Without further comment on the issue, Rei let it slip and continued eating. They turned on the news to listen to the weather forecast, and both were greeted with a very unwelcome sight. "I will contact the commander, we should both head to Nerv," she was already out of her chair and heading for the door.

Thoughts of Rei becoming more self-aware of herself, for better or worse, were blown out of Shinji's mind due to the report on the news. "This is going to be bad isn't it," he was quick to follow behind Rei. Somebody got a hold of Rei's file or something, as the news story of the morning was 'Ex-Sub-Commander of Nerv found guilty of sexual assault of First-Child'. Shinji didn't know much about Nerv's PR department, but he was smart enough to know a shit storm was brewing.

X-X

His other problems with life took a sidestep to the overwhelming urge to find Makoto and throttle the life out of the damn idiot. Hustling into the command bridge, Kaji saw that he wasn't the only person alarmed at the news and wanting to know what to do. Maya and Shigeru were talking to Shinji and Ayanami, Gendo was in his box over looking everything, and the lower level staff just appeared pensive. The moment Misato and he walked onto the bridge all eyes turned on them. Just what he loathed, they were expecting answers from them.

Breaking between Kaji and Misato, Asuka spun indignantly at the pair. "Try to keep it professional today will you? Pawing at each other while a PR crisis is going on might just make things worse. Last thing we need is that prick saying the two captains can't keep their libido in check," Asuka's eyes never left Kaji's and held such ferocity that it was near frightening. Her ultimatum delivered, Asuka made a beeline for her beau and the Child of the hour.

Feeling Misato take his hand, he looked down at it and felt repulsed and how comforting it was. "Girl hates me with ever fiber of her being doesn't she?" he groaned. From the moment he moved in, Asuka just went about making him feel unwelcome. Kaji didn't need help feeling strange at Misato's, Asuka just emphasized the point to agonizing levels. "Think we should split the pilots off and have one of us talk to them? I'd say have Ritsuko do it, but…" Misato's hand tightened when he said the name of the woman not present.

Striding towards the gathering crowd, Misato cast her eyes up at the command box and nodded to Gendo who didn't move. "Asuka will grow to like you, she just is territorial. It happened with the few boyfriends I tried having back in Germany. As for breaking them out, let them hear the first part then you take them to the galley or something. The more sensitive things regarding Fuyutski would best be told without Ayanami around," Misato pulled out a folded piece of paper.

Having gotten advanced warning the day before about the little news blurb, Kaji and Misato had spent all night coming up with a plan of attack for the aftermath. Misato was going to be the figurehead, Kaji was all about letting the attractive woman play nice for the reporters already snooping around. Stuffing his hands in his pocket, freeing himself from Misato in the processes, he made tight fists. "The brig is too good for Makoto right now," he whispered to Misato as the finally got to all the gathered.

"Is it true?", "Didn't the Sub-Commander retire?", "Why weren't we told!", and countless other questions rose out of the assembled staff that had made it in quite early that morning. Many were dressed in casual clothing having rushed in upon hearing the news, others were away from there post just to question the authenticity of Makoto's girlfriend's attempt at breaking into the news reporter game.

Holding her hands out to silence the masses, Misato for a moment appeared pensive and distraught. "Calm down everybody! We'll have a publication soon regarding the news bulletin, and we assure you that it is all a total lie," Misato's face didn't waver or show any indication of fallacy. With full conviction, "We have brought Aoba and Tachibana in for creating false statements about Nerv and its personnel."

Kaji saw Shinji past the group of people and wasn't surprised by the shocked expression on the boy's face. The commander had said point blank to Misato over a two minute phone call, deny everything to everyone possible. Nerv controlled the information, the people involved, and contact to the press so if they nipped it in the bud and brought to light Makoto and Aoi's torrid little affair it would cast doubt on the story. But that did mean they had to make a deal with the devil to make it believable.

"And to further prove Sub-Commander Fuyutski's innocence in the matter," Kaji's mind locked up but his tongue was on autopilot. Misato gently pressed her hand to his back, again he felt self loathing so deep he could choke on it. "He will be talking to the press himself to explain just how ludicrous all of the allegations are. As for the lesser publicized comments regarding Pilot Ikari and Pilot Soryu, we all know that their mental health is top priority and has been from day one," Kaji's lies flowed like water and the masses drank it like wine.

As Misato continued to feed the easily tricked masses wanting to believe the good above the bad, Kaji headed past them to the pilots and Maya. "Well how about we take our leave and have a little chat ourselves shall we? My office alright with you?" Kaji winced at the dark glares he received. Ayanami looked a little downtrodden which was telling for the girl, Asuka was seething, Maya turned her nose up at him and headed off without a word, and Shinji just stood between the two girls and had the blankest expression Kaji had seen the boy deliver.

Waiting for the two girls to start walking, Shinji was the last to move, keeping closer to Rei than Asuka. "Is that going to mean what I think it means, Kaji-san?" bitterness and a low burning anger was just below the boy's surface. His hands were making fists and relaxing them in steady intervals. "Is that the 'truth' of things that we'll have to believe?" Shinji sagely waited until they had left the bridge and away from eavesdroppers.

Not quite so discrete as Shinji, Asuka's retort was sharp and loud, "Because if it is, its total bullshit. Who came up with that stupid idea?" Asuka's footfalls were more stomps than walking, the girl was literally vibrating with anger. "Dirty old bastard abusing his power, perverted decayed…" her grumbling transitioned to German and outside of Kaji's understanding.

Wincing at his new roommate's verbal assault, Kaji spied for anybody in earshot. Thankfully nobody was, as this damn girl outburst could have left many listeners wondering. If he at least knew why Asuka dislike him so much maybe Kaji could try and sooth it. As it was, all Kaji could think was Asuka didn't want anybody getting between Misato and her, rather childish for 'das wunderkind'.

From his past experience with Asuka, the girl had been fine, while Ritsuko and he were together. He thought of her as an over achiever, a girl that strived to be the best she could, and willing to put forth all the effort needed to get it. Everything changed the day he moved in though. Hell Kaji knew for a fact that Asuka spent far less time with Shinji now due to his new hopefully temporary residence. Five times a week Shinji went out to Misato's or on a date with the girl prior to the break up. Now Asuka maybe left three days a week, and Shinji never visited. He didn't fault Shinji for that, it would have to be queer to be in that situation.

"Why don't we hold it down, Soryu, until we get to my office shall we?" Kaji was just a little more curt than her wanted to be. Asuka just rubbed him the wrong way, and he had been rubbed raw. If she was like this with Shinji when alone, it was a wonder they were still dating. "I'm not particularly happy with how things are myself, but these were the Commander's orders," Kaji literally walked into Shinji after he said that as the boy stopped moving.

For a few moments, Shinji's fist shook at his side as the boy's head was cast down. "My father…he…" a strange sound left the boy's lips almost like a snarl. With a burst of energy, Shinji strode ahead from his stationary position. They all walked in quiet self contemplation the rest of the way to Kaji's office. Asuka did slow down to walk beside Shinji, holding his hand as they walked. Muffled talking could be heard between the two, but it was too hard to pick up.

After the long and painfully quiet walk, Kaji slid his card through the reader to his office and let the Children enter. He only had two seats besides his own, and he knew Shinji would let the girl's sit. He was still damn proud of that boy, it hurt to not see him daily anymore. Hopefully he could fix his mess, hopefully he could repair the damage between Ritsuko and him. Shutting and locking the door, Kaji turned the air conditioner up loud to mask the sounds even more. He knew he had listening devices in his office, he just couldn't remove them.

Taking his own seat, Kaji rubbed at his brow. "Look I know what this is total shit, through and through I'd like nothing more than to break Fuyutski's pelvis into tiny shards. But thanks to Makoto and his fuck-buddy we have a PR nightmare and a potential public outcry if we let them believe it's true. As insipid as it is, we need the public to look at us favorably, to continue to pay our bills, and trust us to keep things running here," he hated how damn political things were. If Nerv failed humanity was doomed, but they still needed money.

"So you let a potential rapist out to cover your lies about shit? I don't even care what he said about me, hell he can think whatever he wants about me. But if I see that fucker get in the same room as Ayanami…" Asuka looked about ready to snap until Shinji put a hand on her back. A miracle panacea that was the young Ikari calmed Asuka down, "It's not fair, not in any way of the word. And it better be temporary."

Shinji's hands skillfully messaged Asuka's left shoulder as he bore down on Kaji. He had no way of knowing it, but Shinji was doing a damn fine impression of his father's glare. "Agreed, I don't believe Nerv should let him out even to cover the lies. Why should Ayanami have to be put in harms way just for this, day, week, month?" Shinji asked. Having been told before of Kozo's mental state and seeming obsession with Ayanami, Shinji's jaw was set and ridged.

Whatever spell Shinji cast over Asuka, Kaji hoped it held longer and he was willing to teach it to him. "We plan to keep him out and under Section-2 surveillance only as long as necessary. We've already put the two responsible for this in the brig, but Makoto will be released when time calls for his skills. He technically didn't break any laws, but we will hold them both as long as possible," damn laws sucked at times. Being a whistleblower wasn't a crime, and all Makoto had done was divulge a conspiracy to keep the public dumb. Finally Kaji turned to the silent third participant and felt revolted to say, "Ayanami, you understand this and will abide by the order to keep the truth a secret?"

Robotically, Rei's head bobbed up and down but did not say a word. Rings of puffy and black were under her eyes, but aside that Rei told no emotional information, and showed no sign of defiance.

"Shin-chan, take Ayanami out of here to get something to eat, some air, or anything. I want a word alone with Ryoji, alright? I'll be right out if you want to wait for me at the entrance," Asuka batted her eyelashes expertly and kissed Shinji's cheek. Shooing him out of the room without further order or comment, Asuka resealed the door. A pregnant pause filled the room only to be broken by Asuka slamming her fist against the door fiercely. "If it wasn't for him I'd have gone and told the press it was all true, if to keep Ayanami's dignity," Asuka said darkly.

While he wanted to talk to Asuka about her sour attitude towards him, Kaji didn't think this was the time. "Asuka, today isn't really the best opportunity for this, is it? You and I have some issues, I realize this, but isn't putting out the fires…" Kaji tried to reason with the girl, but such was not to be it seemed. He actually flinched as Asuka turned, pure unadulterated anger in her eyes.

"I don't like you. You hurt Misato in the past, and I know you'll hurt her again. I can smell it on you like that cheap cologne you wear. You want back with that Akagi woman, maybe you want both, I don't know," Asuka kicked a chair out of the way and leaned heavily over the desk. "This isn't the best time I know, but it's the only time I can get you away from her. She's the closest thing to family to me, and for every ounce of pain you inflict on her…" Asuka just shook her head slowly.

Was she threatening him? Kaji had guns pointed at him, held at knifepoint, and was constantly in danger of being exposed as the spy he was, but this was different. He was genuinely afraid of Asuka at the moment, if only for a moment. The girl had the perfect armor, if he touched a hair on her head he'd disappear as everybody wanted Kozo to, only Kaji didn't have the immunity to death the old fucker did. What was worse was the girl was right! Misato was still smitten, likely already picking out the wedding patterns, while he was trying to find a way to break it off easily.

The anger died in Asuka's face, replaced with disgust and sadness. "What ever did she see in you? Two timing bastard, at least Shinji didn't pick up any of your bad habits," she sighed and left the room as silently as Rei had.

Kaji just sat there for a few moments letting it all sink in. He read Asuka's psych profile, and it was all clear in black and white, but he had just let the illusion take precedence. Asuka was just as broken as Shinji and Rei…maybe not as much as Rei and her sisters in the basement. While the pilots worked to heal their mental wounds, the adults were working hard to break them more, and Kaji was currently the one holding the knife.

X-X

Sweat was coating his body making his shirt stick to his chest, but Touji was too focused on the game to care. Kensuke wasn't much of a match, but he was playing more to keep his mind occupied than to really burn calories. They had opted to use the school gym which was thankfully devoid of any club use at the time, the drizzle outside did make the outdoor courts to slick for quick moments.

"You really need to game more and computer less, Ken," Touji chided his counterpart. Touji felt the burn of his lungs for oxygen, but Kensuke looked to be dying of asphyxiation. "Maybe you can get on Shin-man's exercise plan, you did always say you wanted Soryu to order you around," Touji head-faked left and was stunned when Kensuke didn't fall for it.

Taking in massive quantities of air, perspiration was flowing off Kensuke in mighty torrents. "But if I did, I'd be better than you now like he is," Kensuke wheezed out, his chest puffing out comically. With a slow lumbering swat, Kensuke managed to knock the ball out of Touji's stunned hand, and stumble to the three-point line. "And S-S-Shinji might take offense t-to me cutting in on his time with her," he geek took a panic shot as Touji advanced.

Watching the ball soar over his head, Touji was awestruck as it went through the net, the bounce of the ball was mimicked by somebody clapping from behind him. Neglecting the intrusion for the moment he addressed Kensuke's little comment, "Yeah I guess he is above me now. Whatever Soryu is doing to him its making him more physically apt than before, happier to. Just hope its worth it for him in the end," he relented. It truly had amazed Touji when Shinji and he last played and the 'lesser boy' trumped him good.

"T-t-time out alright, I feel like I'm about to hurl," Kensuke shambled over to the side of the court and fell to his butt hard. Intoning his head to the side, "C-class-rep is here." The spent geek tried wafting his hand in the girl's direction but the feeble gesture wasn't needed. "Oh, and doesn't that t-tie the game?" he had one eye open as he smiled sadistically.

For a moment Touji's heart skipped a beat as he headed over to his convalescing friend. While he did find Shinji's guardian attractive, something about the blond just didn't do it for him. Asuka's guardian was another matter, but the German made it painfully clear to avoid dangerous thoughts about that woman and Touji listened. That left the class-rep the closest girl he knew, and while on the plain side Touji had a thing for freckles.

Without looking at her, Touji hoped he could get his damn fool self together before anything important happened. "What has you here this late class-rep? School's been out for a few hours now," he put his hands on his hips and turned around trying to look cool. Seeing the girl in her casual clothing, a green sundress with a light yellow over shirt, he felt a little heat in his cheeks. Attempting his best suave voice, "Not looking for us are you?"

Rolling her eyes, Hikari had a small smile none-the-less, as she approached and handed a small stack of papers. "Ikari-kun's print outs. I figured you'd be seeing him later," trading off the obligation, Hikari pointed at Kensuke. "Is he going to be alright?" she couldn't keep her caring nature at bay if she tried.

Falling on his back, Kensuke's smile just broadened as his arms and legs spread to the four winds. "Better now, Touji's been working his frustration off on my before we hit Shin-man's. That news report has him all worked up, I keep telling him Nerv already had a press release about it explaining how it was all just a ploy," the internet at its best had provided Kensuke with Misato's press-release earlier during the school day. The computer enthusiast had a new wallpaper of Misato in her formal military attire.

Turning back speculatively to Touji, Hikari had an air of pensiveness and apprehension. "You don't believe the news release?" Hikari tilted her head worried. "If I didn't interact with Ayanami-san on a daily basis I might have…thought it funny. But she's been actually a little more approachable lately, well if Ikari-kun is around. She even tried talking to me last week once, I'd not think she'd be…I mean if that was happening would she…" Hikari stopped unable to think of the words to explain what was going on in her mind.

Flipping through the sheets of paper, most of it Touji didn't now how to answer himself, maybe he'd stay and get Shinji to help him when he dropped it off. "I don't know. It's a little odd that they'd have that news release if it could be explained away that easy. And look who's telling us everything is alright. Ken I'd think you'd be all about hacking into Nerv to learn more about this," Touji shot hotly at the almost recovered yet sweaty Kensuke.

"I'm all for hacking Nerv for data on the Angels and the Eva's, never thought about going for personal information. Think they have the female officers' three-sizes?" Kensuke slowly got up to unsteady and shaky legs. Bending at his waist, he rubbed at the back of his head. "I guess I could try something if you're that worried. But you'd think Shin-man would say SOMETHING about Ayanami if shit like that happened. He's closer to her than anybody I now. Class-Rep, does Soryu ever say anything about the three of them…" Kensuke shut up quick.

Glaring at the perverted question, Hikari had her arms crossed and was tapping her feet in a good impression of Asuka. "You're such a perv, Kensuke, you've been one for far to long too," the childhood friend rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Asuka says Ayanami is just a little strange. She was worried that Ayanami was going to make a play on Ikari-kun, but she's come off that I think," for a moment Hikari became quite, almost contemplative. Shaking whatever thought out of her head Hikari continued, "I hope you're wrong to be worried, Suzuhara, I really do. I'm not friends with Ayanami, but I don't want, you know."

Leaning backward, Touji looked at Hikari upside down as he did. "Know what you're talking about, hope I am too but I'll ask Shin-man when I drop these off. He can't lie for shit so I'll know if I ask him point blank. Ayanami ain't the nicest chick, but that would still suck. Suck even more to know they've been shouldering that stuff on their own without tellin'" Touji felt a growing boil of animosity. What could he do to help if something had happened, why hadn't Shinji said anything about it? Didn't Shinji trust them?

"Don't know if that's a good idea," Kensuke adjusted his glasses and tugged on the collar of his shirt. "If something did happen to Ayanami, is it any of our business? I sure wouldn't want that being public knowledge if it happened to me. Hell, maybe the reason Ayanami is so close to Shin-man has something to do with it?" he asked the other two teens with a morose fascination. Something you wanted to know, but deep down feared the answer.

Sharing an uneasy exchange with Hikari, Touji shrugged. "Hadn't thought of it like that. Hell I don't like people knowing when I have athletes foot, couldn't imagine that shit," he spit on the floor regulations be damned. Feeling powerless sucked. Against the Angels was one thing, when his buddy's quasi-girlfriend was the victim it was even worse. "Maybe I won't ask. What about you, class-rep, going to ask Soryu?" he hoped Hikari's actions would give him some guidance.

That pensive look came back to Hikari's charming and defined face, "I haven't had much time to talk with Asuka lately. Something about Katsuragi and some new boyfriend, she won't go into details but she's worried about Katsuragi. It's strange to see her look…I don't know afraid is the best I can think to compare it to. Whatever it is, Asuka's been holed up in her apartment for and not in the chatty mood. I'll likely just give the print outs to Katsuragi and not even see her," she kicked at the air despondently.

"Did you want to do something with m-us then? If…if Soryu ain't doing shit with ya, why not hang with us?" Touji couldn't believe himself! He had asked her out! Not on a date, but it was a step. Upon seeing the startled expression, very cute in his mind, "Not today, tomorrow…or the day after?"

"I'd…like that," Hikari shifted from Touji to Kensuke before turning around. "Well I better get a move on. You guys should too before it gets too late," with a wave Hikari was off. In her wake, Kensuke ceaselessly teased Touji about having the hots for Hikari, a fact the jock denied constantly.

X-X

"Koji-kun increase the LCL flow to body-C please, it's below the threshold," Ritsuko tapped on the monitor displaying the current readings. Watching the bar slowly rise past the dividing line, she nodded, "Excellent. Keep regulating the flow and test with electric shocks to the various components. As long as they react I think we can consider this test a success." Koji was an alright assistant, but the man was required to be told what to do or he sat around doing nothing.

It was a shame the artificial bodies were nearly ready for the pilots to test against, it gave Ritsuko a lot to keep her mind occupied over the last week. Idle thoughts were the enemy right now, reminding her of the empty bed she'd eventually return to. Shinji was still at the apartment, a fact she had mixed emotions about. He was a nice kid who she liked having around, but with Kaji gone it meant she had to directly interact with him. She didn't want that, was terrified of fucking it up like she did everything else.

Taking his headphones off, Koji Tenkawa, smiled broadly at his current supervisor and flashed her the thumbs up. "All green across the board, Akagi-san. Think that about wraps it up for the preliminary testing doesn't it?" getting out of his seat, the man stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Reluctantly, Ritsuko checked the readouts and nodded. "Yeah, I'll schedule the live test for sometime next week," she saw the man checking the clock on the wall. It was well past suppertime, no wonder she was hungry, but she didn't want to leave just yet. "You can go, I'll finish up a few last checks on the artificial bodies," she dismissed the man eager to leave.

Gazing through the Plexiglas divider at the headless bodies, wires and tubes winding out of the necks, Ritsuko envied them. "No brain means no thoughts or feelings," Ritsuko traced the form of one of the bodies and let out a bitter laugh. Her severe depression had lifted slightly, or at least she accepted reality more. Loosing Kaji wasn't going to break her, it would have been a blessing had it done so. No, Ritsuko was sane which meant she had to actually deal with her pain.

Leaning on the control panel, Ritsuko rested her chin on her hands forlorn. The pain wasn't as bad now, it had been replaced with emptiness and cold. "I knew it would happen the moment she came back. How the fuck could I not suspect it," she closed her eyes to combat the burning in her eyes. She'd done enough of that, far too much. Finding the best way to cope with losing the man she loved was to shut out everything.

"At least they're doing me the service of not trying to talk to me and explain it," she muttered. Her eyes rebelled against her and opened letting the damn heathen reality back in. Her happy little life, as deluded as it had been, was no more. Loneliness and mental self abuse were the norm. 'If only I had…' and 'if things had been different' played through her mind if she let it. Hence she threw herself into her work for the first few days.

Work had helped drown out the voices in her head saying she had failed and it was what she deserved. The voice, it sounded like her mother's, kept saying she'd end up just like the Akagi of old. Used, abused, and discarded when the better model came up. Eventually Ritsuko fought off the urge to find a service revolver and shut the voice up permanently. It was her own self-doubt that caused things, nobody else. That's when she shut off caring and all emotion she could. Just work, sleep, booze, masturbation, and avoiding everybody she could.

"Sempai are you still here?" Maya asked loudly as she walked into the open lab. "Was thinking you might have left, you weren't answering the phone and I've been calling for over an hour. Something wrong?" Maya approached with that damnable look of concern smeared over her boyishly cute face.

Checking the clock, Ritsuko gasped as it was just over an hour since she had last looked at it. She'd been lost in her haze for that long and didn't realize it? Shaking her funk off, Ritsuko put her best face forward, less Maya try to probe deeper. "Just finishing some tests on the tank. Dummy plug work really helped get this little chore finished. Be ready for the Children in a day or two," she hiked her thumb at the bluish liquid filled tank. Getting out of her chair, her body ached from sitting hunched over so long, "Still want to come over, or did you want to get a bite to eat someplace?"

Studying Ritsuko's face for several long and silent moments, Maya nodded her head slowly. "Be nice to give Ikari-kun a night off of cooking. Think all the pilots are off together right now anyway. Didn't expect Soryu to be so concerned for Ayanami-kun, but I guess even _she_ can be nice from time to time," Maya didn't sound happy about her little discovery.

Quite despite herself, Ritsuko felt a smile worm its way onto her face. Maya had been so good to her since the break up. But it would only be a matter of days till the ol' Akagi craziness she'd inherited from Naoko, that of falling for a man that would only hurt in the end, would drive the woman away. Shinji was another issue entirely, just hearing his name brought spikes of confusion in her mind. He had…he had been nicer to her than before. Making her favorite breakfast, actually trying to talk to her a little, what was the boy playing at?

"I guess everybody has their good and bad days. In a few I bet Soryu-kun is back to forcing Shinji-kun back on the race to the top. Be nice to tell her she's even further behind him on scores now than before," Ritsuko chuckled to herself as she put on her lab coat. How would Misato's little girl take the news she was steadily losing to her boyfriend? Covering her mouth as she yawned she spoke through it, "So what are you in the mood for?"

Opening the door to the lab, Maya held it open after passing through it, "Anything but American food, goes right to my hips." Wiggling her legs a little, Maya frowned at the perceived extra mass in them. "You watch the news broadcast with Fuyutski?" Maya couldn't have said his name with more disdain.

Walking to the elevator, her steps echoing in the long drab corridor, Ritsuko grunted. She hadn't paid any attention to it, let Nerv lie however they want. "As long as they keep guards on him till we lock him back up, I'm ok with it. Nerv will do what it has to, I know the truth, you did too. And I doubt Section-2 will be dumb enough to let him get close to any of the pilots now," part of her did hope he tried and was gun down 'on accident'. Ayanami wasn't her favorite person, but she had a soft spot for the girl to be true.

Crossing her arms, Maya didn't seem to agree with Ritsuko's more accepting nature. "I don't like it. Nor do I like how we had Katsuragi all trumped up as our spokesperson," Maya tapped her toe against the ground waiting for the elevator. "Just hope I don't have to interact with him during his hopefully brief stint out of wherever the commander is keeping him," Maya was exasperated.

"Nothing you can do about it, just take what you can and wait for it to move on. Learn that Maya, everything moves on," Ritsuko said levelly. Getting into the cab, Ritsuko hit the floor for the cars. She'd drive tonight, and let Maya drive back to the apartment after drinking her fill. Sweet mind numbing elixir of booze was on order, she didn't work tomorrow so she was going to get tanked. If lucky she'd find some man wanting a quickie and she could get laid. Why bother trying for another relationship, it'd just end the same.

Take what she could, leave the rest. People would do it to her if she let them, why not do the inverse. It was all the same once you stopped caring, and she had. Go through the motions of life, the peaks and troughs were the same if you didn't notice. Comforting grey oblivion, it was nice to just stop feeling…oh so nice.

X-X

A cool night breeze ruffled Asuka's hair as she walked hand in hand with Shinji down the street towards her apartment in silence. The day hadn't been anything she had ever anticipated, how could she have? Waking up to Misato panicking was never good, Asuka's first fear was pregnancy till she remembered Misato's little problem. Once she did hear what was the cause of Misato's unrest, well Asuka felt justified anger.

Some damn asshole put pussy above safety and went and sold out Nerv secrets to a wannabe reporter. If Asuka could have gotten into Makoto's cell she'd have insured he got a proper punishment. It wasn't that Asuka was particularly fond of Ayanami, she tried to be friends but the elusive First-Child didn't want any part of it, but Asuka wasn't heartless at all. Knowing Shinji would be worried, she never doubted Rei was just a friend to him, Asuka took one for the team that day and spent as much time as she could with Ayanami.

If nothing else the day spent tooling about town trying to keep Ayanami's mind off things had offered Asuka a glimpse into the Shinji/Ayanami dynamic. Shinji, at least she thought, was trying to be the best friend he could to the odd girl but not romantic in any regard. Rei, as awkward as she was, didn't give off a vibe of being on the make for Shinji either. Asuka had thought in the past that the girl was just playing coy, but after some of the odd exchanges between the two, some Shinji had to clarify for her, it was clear Rei was just…different.

Squeezing Shinji's hand harder, Asuka felt a burning warmth in her chest. He wasn't leading her own, wasn't pretending, Shinji actually cared for her. "Odd day, think she'll be ok?" Asuka watched another couple walking past in a lot more amorous hold. Seeing the older man openly groping his girlfriend's ass as they walked, Asuka couldn't help but wonder. She had wanted to take her relationship with Shinji to the next level, but things just got so confusing with this whole Kaji business.

Keeping pace with Asuka's nonhurried yet quick stride, Shinji's head bobbed. "It'll be strange for a while, at least until _he _is back where he belongs. But if we keep an eye out on her things should be fine," Shinji pulled his hand up taking Asuka's with it. Kissing the back of the German's hand, "Wanted to thank you today for what you did for her though. I know Rei-san and you don't get along well, but I think she appreciated what you did for her."

Rei appreciated being with Shinji, Asuka knew she was just an additional fixture but was ok with that. "It's not like I hate her…hell I don't even hate Ryoji. I just," Asuka's head dipped as that damn feeling of weakness came back. She couldn't allow for weakness, hated admitting that she was at times. But Shinji never judged her, he was perfect for her in that regard. She let down the walls a little, "I just don't want things to change. Before it was just Misato, you, and me and that was great. Now…well Ayanami was always there but now Ryoji and Misato are…"

Taking a queue from a couple on a bench the passed, Shinji disengaged his hand from hers and wrapped it around her waist. "Yeah it is a little strange now, well very strange I guess. Ritsuko-san took it really hard the first few days, now she's just…different," Shinji's timbre was off. Pulling the girl against his body, Shinji did seem to have a small air of contentment about him he oft didn't when physically close. "I have missed our time together though. But you have your reasons," he didn't come off as resentful or even upset.

Yeah, her relationship with Shinji had suffered a lot thanks to her trying to keep Misato and Kaji apart. Kaji…Asuka knew he wasn't a 'bad guy', not if Shinji's comments were even half accurate. It was just Asuka knew Misato was seeing something that wasn't there. Kaji seemed out of place at the apartment, trying to keep Misato from rushing to fast into things, Asuka saw it and that was why she didn't hate the man. Misato was so blinded by nostalgia that she couldn't see reality. Perhaps in time one of the two 'adults' would change, but Asuka didn't want Misato hurt.

Coming up to the building, Asuka didn't want the little mini-date to end. "I've missed it a lot too. Sorry if I'm being selfish, but I have to watch out for Misato. If I don't I'd hate to see what would happen to her," Asuka was enjoying Shinji's warmth far more than normal. He wasn't the 'touchy-feely' type neither was she for that matter, but right now it soothed her frazzled nerves. "Oh…the lights are out. So either they're fucking or…" Asuka was suddenly very aware of Shinji's scent.

"T-they don't…do they?" Shinji gazed up at the apartment's veranda with a queasy expression. "Hard to think of Kaji-san with somebody other than Ritsuko-san. And I don't want to think of Katsuragi-san like that at all," Shinji shuddered a little.

Another reason Asuka realized she loved Shinji, he wasn't smitten with just a pretty face. "Lets go up, I know you were just going to walk me home…but if they are still dealing with the aftermath…I know I could, if you were willing…use some r-relaxation," she was overcome with a sudden bought of shyness. She was in fact asking her boyfriend to come up and make love to her. It was to be the end of childhood and walking into the arms of adulthood. But with her mind as it was, that feeling of helplessness of the situation, Asuka wanted something she could hold onto that was real and true.

"A-are you sure?" Shinji didn't move from her side, but did relax his hands hold of her side. "What if they are up there?" he looked at Asuka and his features softened.

Nodding her head once, Asuka smiled earnestly, "Then we'll be quiet." Putting her own arm around him, Asuka lead him upstairs. The apartment was empty, save for Pen-Pen, and Asuka felt that rush of expectation again. It was going to happen, Shinji was going to help her chase away the black wings of doubt growing steadily stronger in her mind, if only for the night. Leading Shinji to her room, she left him to take a quick stop in the bathroom. Checking her stock of birth control pills, she was up to date so no worries there.

Quickly changing into a nicer piece of underwear, Asuka's heart was beating so fast she grew lightheaded and stumbled a little. "This is what I want, what we want," she traced her face in the mirror. It was true too, they had danced about the issue enough, they weren't just fucking for fucking sake…

For the next two and a half hours the two teenagers explored the garden of earthly delights, the pain Asuka felt the first time wasn't to bad, thought she would make Shinji clean the bloodstain in the morning. Once they were both spent, Asuka naked as the day she was born found tranquility in the arms of the man she had found could push her to higher and better things…in all things.

X-X

Author notes

Man work has been kicking me hard a lot lately. Sorry for the delay on this but it couldn't be helped. On and I did realize I jumbled the angel order a bit…sorry about that. I know its my story and I could have them come in any order I actually wanted, but I try to keep it consistent with the source material. I'll have ye ol' falling bomb but after the nano-machine one.

Hope you enjoyed this and what I'm trying to do with it.

Ja mata

zentrodie


	16. Chapter 16

Standard Disclaimer

Man I've missed this story, but I had to re-read it up to this point to recapture a lot of my ideas for it. Been awhile since it started. Work has still been jerking with me, but its getting better. Oh and happy thanksgiving.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter - 16

Sitting in an interrogation room in the high security wing of Nerv, Kaji's head wasn't really in the game. He was supposed to be briefing Makoto and Aoi about their chances and choices, but he just didn't care. Life had been derailed and he had no idea what to do to get it back on track. Options blossomed around him like poisoned mushrooms around the one edible one. The solution was somewhere, he just had to decide what he wanted and what he was willing to risk to get it.

"So did a few days in solitary get both of your heads cleared?" Kaji focused on Makoto. Of the two across from him, it was the Nerv operative that was the important one. Makoto was a skilled employee who was needed to survive against the angels. Aoi was just a glory hound that was trying to finagle Nerv secrets into a job as a news caster or fame. Reclining in his chair, the only comfortable one in the room, Kaji added, "If not we can just put you back in till you're willing to talk sensibly."

Spying at Aoi with a weak smile, Makoto shrugged his shoulders weekly. "Kaji-san, what Aoi did wasn't really against the law was it? She didn't expose any classified secrets, and the public has the right to know what's going on here," he said forcibly. Reaching out for the woman, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. His voice gaining strength, "She was just trying to tell the public what is really going on here."

Kaji saw what the man was doing, and couldn't fault Makoto for it. Makoto was just trying to protect the woman he cared for from potential pain, even if he didn't agree with what she did. He had tried to do that, tried to protect Ritsuko from his stupidity and failed miserably. She wouldn't even talk to him now, not that he was trying to hard to. He didn't know what to say to her, didn't know how he could recover what he had squandered.

Taking Ritsuko's biggest fear and throwing it in her face was probably not the best move. He had known ever since they started dating Ritsuko feared Misato's return, and what did he do? Fuck Misato behind Ritsuko's back and try to rationalize it. Way to go big-man, he couldn't have hurt Ritsuko more if he had shot her in the chest.

Gently freeing her hand from Makoto's, Aoi didn't share the same smile as he did. "What are you going to do with us, Ryoji-san? I take it you have an offer for us or we wouldn't be in this room right now," she sounded tired and the circles under her eyes added to the effect. Her dirty and stained clothing hung limply on her petit frame. Leaning on her palm, "I wont' deny what I did was questionable, but I had the publics best interest in mind."

Judging from the money she got for the story, all but returned due to the Nerv media broadcast, Kaji didn't buy it. Aoi wanted money, power, or fame for the story and nothing more. "First off I'll tell you that the money you received from the Tokyo-3 Tattler has been returned," Kaji frowned when Aoi slammed her palm on the table visibly upset. Tough shit lady, nobody at Nerv was going to have sympathy for her. Not after the looks Fuyutski was getting and the livid nature of the pilots.

Getting out of his chair, Kaji felt a bit of sympathy for Makoto though. Guy thought he finally got a girl, still did by the looks of it. Kaji suspected otherwise. "Nerv has three options for you two," he hadn't come up with them, Section-2 did. "One is you both move in together, Makoto continues to work at Nerv, and you Tachibana-kun are under house arrest for an undetermined time," that was the ideal solution Kaji hoped for. They got to keep Makoto and the man kept his woman.

Filling a paper cup with water from the dispenser Kaji did not see Aoi liking that option judging from her body language. "Second is one or both of you move to the United States. Apparently something happened to the branch there and we need recon. It'd be a long and tedious assignment, of course we'd demand you keep secret about what you find," Kaji swallowed the nasty flavored water. "And third is, you disappear. Section-2 takes you somewhere and you live the rest of your life there for however long that was," Kaji suspected Gendo wanted that solution.

Reaching for Aoi's hand again, Makoto's face lit up like a candle. "Of course we'll take the first option. If you're willing to take me back, I've no reason not to take that option," he looked expectantly at Aoi.

Again pulling her hand away from Makoto's, Aoi slowly shook her head with a pained expression on her face. "I'll take America. Sorry Hyuga-kun, but I was only really with you for the story," she did at least sound apologetic. Watching the man's face contort into abstract horror she turned to Kaji. "When can this happen? I've no family, my stuff can be shipped can't it?"

Kaji winced mentally at the fact he had suspected. Not many would feel anything at Makoto's pain, but Kaji did. "Next plane out if you're that eager," he nodded at the one-way mirror and the door opened. Watching as the two burly agents walked in, guns at their sides, Kaji wondered if the agents would actually honor the deal without Makoto going too. Retaking his seat as the men started leading Aoi out of the room, "Know that you'll be under observation."

"I-I know I will be," Aoi timidly shrunk between the men that scorned her. "Hyuga-kun…I'm sorry it had to end like this. You're a real sweet guy and all, but I just saw your badge in your wallet at the store and thought…thought I could use it to help myself out of debt. I didn't mean to hurt you," anything else she would have said was cut off as the men were done letting her talk. As the door shut, Aoi was never seen by anybody in Nerv Japan again.

Getting another paper cup of water, Kaji put it in front of Makoto whose chin was dipped against his chest. "Sorry it had to end like this for you, but don't be expecting anybody at Nerv except me to have any compassion for you," Kaji tapped the cup. Makoto had put everybody in a very bad spot for sex, Kaji could empathize to a degree. Only Kaji hurt Ritsuko and possibly Shinji with his infidelity. "You still want to stay on and work with us? We need you, I won't lie, but things won't be how they were before," he explained.

Grabbing at the cup with limp and slow fingers, Makoto held it in his hand for a few moments before throwing it at the wall. In the dim light of the interrogation room, the man broke down sobbing. "She said…she said she loved me! I believed her, Kaji! I believed every damn word she said! I-I-I," he started hyperventilating. Holding his hand up as Kaji moved to act, the broken man took a deep breath. "I ruined at least two perfectly good friendships over her. Least I could do to make reparations is to keep working," he croaked out.

Ah Maya and Shigeru, Kaji wondered how long it would take for them to rub Makoto's nose in things. Not that Kaji really cared about that. No, Kaji's mind still was on his own problems. The venue of doors he could take, and the horror that was behind most of them.

Did he try to reconnect with Ritsuko after tearing her heart in sunders? How could he even begin to try that? Or did he write that off as a dead end and try making a life with Misato? He wouldn't lie and say he didn't care about Misato, he just couldn't see them working as well as Ritsuko and he did. But if he broke it off with Misato, what guarantee did he have that Ritsuko would ever take him back after what he did? Hell he was still sleeping in Misato's futon, and they did still have sex occasionally! He was clearly not showing Katsuragi any signs he wasn't serious about her.

Kaji was just the type of guy that needed somebody in his life. Girlfriend, roommate, or a fellow gang member he had always been 'with' somebody. He couldn't live on his own. And with Misato he had somebody, was it who he wanted? No, he had wanted Ritsuko, but his damn penis didn't care what body it went into as long as it was warm. So did he risk losing everybody by trying to win Ritsuko back, or stick with the safe bet and stay with Misato? The issue of Asuka accepting him was iffy, but judging by the girl being all smiles for the last two days, she hardly even recognized him.

"Kaji!" Makoto shouted breaking the spy out of his stupor. "When can I leave here? I…I want to take a shower, get some food, and drink myself to sleep," the tech's haggard voice moaned miserably. "Then I'll try to fix the shards of my broken life tomorrow," he stood up, the chair screeched against the green and white checkered floor.

Having his inner demons disturbed, Kaji blinked quickly as reality came crushing back into focus. "Oh yeah, you can go after you fill out a few forms with Section-2. You're going to have a lot of restrictions for awhile," Kaji pointed at the door and another set of guards came through along with Shigeru. Watching the exchange between the two men, Shigeru sneered vehemently at the meek Makoto who passed by, Kaji rubbed at his eyes, "What did you need Aoba?"

Keeping his eyes on the departing man, Shigeru stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked. "You said you wanted me to get you once the Third Child got her, and he's here not," Shigeru's anger boiled over into his words. "Test isn't for a few hours, maybe he's in for some prelim tests or something," his fists were clearly visible in his slacks.

Rubbing his hand against the side of his face, fatigue was working its lovely magic on him at the moment, Kaji nodded. Making small talk with Shigeru as they headed towards the changing rooms, Kaji felt impending dread. While Shinji hadn't appeared to take his absence to harshly, it wasn't the pilot Kaji was worried about. Talking to Ritsuko just wasn't possible, she refused to be around him at work and refused his calls. So Shinji was a convenient way of finding out just how much damage he had caused.

Waving goodbye to Shigeru, who he had learned watched the whole interrogation, Kaji waited outside the changing room for Shinji. "Wonder if he's the cause of little miss Gold-Star's attitude change," he wondered aloud. The day before had been surreal for him at the apartment. Asuka, walking the walk Kaji had seen before, was all smiles and was extra affectionate with Misato. He saw the two women talking softly to one another, and at one point Misato broke down crying, but when asked Misato said it wasn't Kaji's concern.

"Kaji-san, were you waiting for me?" Shinji skidded to a halt as he entered the hall. "Is something wrong?" back was the neutral look on Shinji's face.

Gesturing to the hallway, "I'll walk with you wherever you're going, Shinji-kun. I just want to have a little talk with you if you don't mind," damn Kaji missed that kid. Odd how unexpected that was, learning he missed Shinji. While he missed Ritsuko leagues above what he missed Shinji, it was still powerful and a wave of guilt struck Kaji in the stomach. "You doing alright? Haven't had a chance to talk to you with all the craziness we've been having?" Kaji kept his pace slow to maximize conversation time.

With a glimmer in his eye, Shinji didn't appear to hold Kaji any ill will. "Been really good lately. The uh…apartment is getting to a strange degree of normal," he shrugged a little at that. "Asuka and I though…we'll I'm sure you know already," Shinji rubbed at his nose as they walk keeping a secret smile to himself.

Then it struck Kaji, the realization of what happened between Asuka and Shinji and the oddness at his apartment. "Congratulations Shinji-kun, Just don't make the mistake I did and throw away what you've got going on," Kaji roped his arm around Shinji's shoulder and gave him a one armed hug. Shinji was a man now and Asuka was a woman. "And don't go getting her pregnant, both of you are far too young for children," Kaji felt another pang of guilt. Would Ritsuko and he have a child if they got back together? Misato was barren, but Ritsuko...could she be the mother of his child?

His face turning red, Shinji's head hung a little. "I told Asuka-chan that since I haven't…well we never used a condom. But she said she's on the pill," Shinji turned to Kaji worriedly. "H-how have you been, Kaji-san? It's strange not having you around the apartment," Shinji skillfully disengaged from Kaji but kept a social distance.

And that was the question of the day, how was he? Confused and worried were the best adjectives for his mental state. "I could have be better, but it's not that bad. Even though your girlfriend makes it clear she doesn't want me there. I miss Ritsuko and you, but after what I did…I don't know if Rits would take me back. H-how is she doing Shinji-kun? She hasn't done anything strange has she?" Kaji had to know. At times her depression worried Kaji painfully, he had no idea what to expect after what had happened.

Stopping outside the test chamber, Shinji glanced inside and back at Kaji. His voice low, "I was worried at first that she'd _do_ something." The pensive look on his face didn't leave, "But she's gotten much better. Maya-san's been visiting a lot. And aside from a few strange things its…not bad?" A confused look adorned the boy's face, but he offered no other details.

Rei coming up behind them broke the duo of their conversation, and Kaji watched the two friends enter the test chamber. Tonight was going to be the simulated body test, he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around for that. But Shinji had alleviated at least some of Kaji's worries. If Ritsuko had done something drastic because of him, he'd never forgive himself. But that didn't solve his problem. All he knew was he had to act soon, owe up to his mistake and beg for forgiveness, forsaking Misato. Or accept he had lost what he cherished most and see if something could be rekindled with Misato. He just wished he knew the right answer.

X-X

A slow boiling anger festered in Maya's gut as she knew Misato was leaning against the wall behind her. It couldn't be helped however, testing the artificial bodies was a big deal, at least the traitor wasn't there. Maya had done everything in her power to avoid Kaji and all the pain he caused. To think she had once looked up to the man, once thought he might make Ritsuko happy. Fat lot of good he turned out to be.

"Alright children if you'd just walk through the door into the clean room we can get this started," Ritsuko said over the microphone. Appearing to be having one of her better days, the good scientist didn't have the dark rings under her eyes and was quite lucid. "We told you already the basics of the tests today. You'll be trying to synchronize with the bodies like you do your units," she flipped of the switch and leaned back.

Asuka's boisterous voice quickly light up the speaker, "Well I know I can synchronize with some units already." A trickling of giggles followed from the German at her own joke. Walking through the door on camera, Asuka stood proudly at the entrance of the walkway. "Well here I am just as everybody wants me, naked as the day I was born and about to get doused with chemicals. Shin-chan get your scrawny butt out here before the First does. I do NOT want you stealing looks at her," she commanded her boyfriend.

Grumbling, Maya did not like the new and improved Second Child. All day long the girl was just telling innuendo laden jokes, smiling broadly, insulting Ayanami, and being overly possessive of Shinji. Leaning over to her microphone, "Soryu-kun, all three of you have to go at once. The cameras are off, and those chemicals aren't cheap. You'll just have to trust Ikari-kun to be a gentleman." He was, Maya knew, as long as Asuka hadn't tried taken that away from him.

"Just give it to her Ibuki," Misato called out from the back of the room. "She's still not come down from the emotional high she hit the other day. Everybody's first time is different, and well Asuka seems to really like what she found," Misato didn't quite come off as being happy at her little comment. A few of the men in the room whispered to each other, and not just one exchanged a few bills at bets won.

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Ritsuko groaned loudly. "So that was why Shinji-kun was so happy yesterday. Great now I have to worry about walking in on that. Going to put contraceptives in the LCL," she queued up several commands on the consol. Noticing Ayanami on one of the cameras Ritsuko changed frequencies to match Rei's room, "Ayanami its ok, he's not in the room."

Maya felt sick to her stomach that she hadn't thought of that little fact. And as Rei instantly entered to cleaning room after Ritsuko's tidbit, Maya felt doubly bad for neglecting it. Adding in, "Don't worry, he's actually with Commander Ikari right now and will be during he whole test. So he won't even be hearing you." The lie about the cameras being off was one thing, but they had to insure nothing bad happened.

"Puppy-kun get over here now! I don't want you in the middle. This is not an human sandwich with you as the meat," Asuka's powerful voice was laden with glee. Whatever was going on in Asuka's mind, she was just pouring out a newfound enjoyment for life. "So unless you want to give those perverts listening to us a real show, we need to get going. Ayanami, if you want to watch I guess I'll allow it this time," she snickered.

Bashfully walking to Asuka's side, Shinji tried to hold down his embarrassment. "Asuka you're teasing to ha…" Shinji yelped as Asuka grabbed him around the neck and pulled it against her body. His head nestled in her armpit, face given the perfect view of not only Asuka's stomach, but Rei's feet as well, "Wha-what are you doing Asuka-chan!"

"You forgot the chan last time!" Asuka mocked as she administered a noogie to his head. "Want in on this First? Get some revenge on what this closet pervert has been up to? Or maybe just revenge on all men in general, first hit is free," Asuka flexed her arm crushing Shinji against her.

"Damn it Soryu stop fucking around!" Maya actually snapped. She couldn't stand seeing this debauchery. Asuka was just what Maya thought she was, a sluttish tart! It was clear Shinji wasn't that comfortable with what she was doing, yet she kept on doing it. The girl was riding the sex high a little to long, and Maya was not liking seeing Shinji suffer for it. "Now let go of him, and take this seriously or I WILL turn the cameras on and put the footage on the internet? Would you like that?" Maya seethed.

Spinning slowly to face Maya, Ritsuko's eyes only fluttered a little. "Not that big a deal Maya. Give Asuka a week and she'll stop caring about it at all. Sex is just an act like any other," Ritsuko shrugged and turned back to the monitors. "Ibuki has a point though. I don't want to be here all night, and while listening to Soryu pretend to be molesting Shinji is funny it doesn't get the test run over any faster," Ritsuko reclined in her chair and yawned.

The pilots got into their respective lines, Shinji going back to the center, Asuka flipped the camera off with a smile. Ayanami however had a pronounced scowl and Shinji, to his embarrassment, was showing that Asuka's little action had a very pronounced effect on him. Hands covering his erection, Shinji lead the charge across the room as the disinfectant started spraying.

As the pilots climbed into the test chambers, Misato angrily spun Maya's chair around as a few of the other tech's watched on. "The hell is wrong with you Ibuki? Asuka's just a little over zealous right now is all. She'll calm down in a day or two. Didn't you feel ANYTHIGN when you lost your virginity? Hell why am I taking her deflowering better than you are and you're not even living with either of them?" Misato's eyebrow twitched as she gnashed her teeth.

"Because she's acting like a little whore is why, and that is not good for Ayanami or Shinji-kun!" Maya retorted. Much like Ritsuko, Maya had been spending a bit more time with the timid Ayanami and learned a great deal about the girl. Rei was terribly introspective and shy, and Maya wanted to help with that. It worked doubly so that Maya suspected Rei had a small thing for Shinji, and Maya wanted to encourage that relationship. Pushing Misato out of her face, "You saw the same thing I did. This goes beyond simple 'I'm a woman now'! Something got tripped upstairs in that girls head!"

Rounding Maya's chair, further away from Ritsuko, Misato gave her old friend a cautious look. "I'll admit she's taken it a bit differently than I suspected. But she's happy! Honestly and truly happy, and if she teases a bit I'm ok with it! Now if you're upset that your fixation on Shinji-kun being your replacement broth…," Misato's head jerked hard to the side as Maya's fist slammed into it.

Seething, Maya was seeing red. "Don't talk about my brother like that! Don't compare him! Shinji-kun is NOT a replacement for Akito…not anymore," Maya's fists trembled at her side. "Did you not think that maybe Ayanami might not take well to seeing a situation like that? Did it ever enter that tiny brain of yours that maybe Shinji-kun didn't like it either? Why everybody and their damn brother bends over backwards for you and that damn whelp of yours!" Maya's whole body rocked angrily.

Rubbing her arm against her lip, Misato scanned it for blood and found none. "Is this really about the pilots or is it about K-Kaji?" Misato took a step out of Maya's range. "I wasn't your favorite person before, and now after…fuck this isn't important right now," Misato found the eyes of all the other workers on them. "I'll give you that love tap for free Ibuki, I did step over the line. I don't know what its like to have somebody I love die in my arms like you did. But know this, if you say one WORD of disapproval to Asuka about this," Misato just shook her head.

"Ok children," Ritsuko was looking at the two bickering adults. "Personally I don't care if they're fucking. As long as it doesn't impact their piloting neither of you have any real authority to say otherwise. And as I have an appointment after this," Ritsuko turned back to the tests and started the processes.

Five minutes later the angel attacked.

X-X

Crawling deeper into the inner workings of the Magi, Ritsuko felt a dark humor over the sudden change reality had taken. An hour ago she was just the crazy bitch that everybody felt comfortable using and tossing away, now she was supposed to be the fucking hero. Without her knowledge of the Magi they were all going to die. Misato would die, her little girl would die, Kaji would die, and she would die. Big loss that would be wouldn't it?

"But I have my promise," Ritsuko mumbled out as the screwdriver in her teeth chattered. She had to live, if for no other reason than to mock her mother. Spitting the saliva covered Philips into her left hand she turned to her current assistant, "How we doing on time Maya?"

On her hands and knees behind the doctor, Maya checked her watch with a look of disdain. "Only about ten minutes until the angel over takes the logic traps and finishes hacking the last of the Magi. I just wonder how it knows to blow the base up," Maya's eyes wandered around the tunnel. "Are these…why are their so many notes on the walls here?" she quipped and pulled one down to read it.

Prying off the first casing, Ritsuko gazed at the synthetic brain with a hint of revulsion. "Immortal three times over, only you would haunt me even in death," Ritsuko spat out. Kneeling before the brain, she shifted the bag she had hoisted on her shoulder and pulled out connecter pins. "These are her notes, Maya, the illustrious Naoko Akagi's backdoor, passwords, and trap notes for her creation," Ritsuko said. Taking great joy in it, she stabbed the faux brain with the needle with excessive force.

Gathering more and more of the notes off the wall, Maya gushed at what she was reading. "This is amazing! I never knew the Magi had so much extra potential than what we were using it for," she flipped through a few of the notes and sat by Ritsuko. "Your mother created something truly amazing with these. But…what are," she pointed at the exposed brain and the two similar enclosures.

Sparing Maya a momentary glance, Ritsuko was filled with a bitter sense of betrayal and hate. Everybody just had to damn love that fucking woman! They didn't know the truth, all they knew was the great Naoko was such a genius and made the impossible possible. Applying the last of the connection needles, Ritsuko booted up her laptop. "These, as you so quaintly pointed out, are the Magi themselves. Meet my mother, Maya, meet her three times over," she gestured to the exposed and bleeding grey matter.

"Your mother?" Maya gasped and dropped a few of the notes. "She used her own personality for the Magi? I would have never suspected," she gathered up what she had dropped and piled them next to Ritsuko. Starting her own computer, Maya turned to see the gathering of nervous looking tech's at the entrance hatch. "The natives are getting restless. Wish they'd just go wait somewhere else," she shuttered.

Picking up the top note that just said 'damn you Ikari' Ritsuko felt that rush of joy again. _Oh__Mother,__the__one__thing__you__never__did__get__that__you__wanted.__Drove__you__over__the__edge__didn__'__t__it._ Ritsuko had read what little notes her mother left after her 'accident' and it painted a story so rich Ritsuko ate it up like fine cream. Her mother, the person that could never relent on getting what she wanted, had failed to woo the heart of the commander of all people.

Scanning the angel's progress, Ritsuko's stomach loosened. "Yes, mom just had to use herself you see. Nobody else would be sufficient for her needs. So she kept herself as a scientist, a mother, and a woman," she snorted when she said mother. Naoko was a mother only in the fact she gave birth, the rest was just pain. "It's a shame I have to save the woman that she was, but oddly fitting I guess," she began her work.

Picking up the 'Ikari' note, Maya's fist wobbled slightly. "Your mother…she was with the commander? I thought he was married," Maya said more to herself. Starting her own work, more to keep herself occupied likely as only Ritsuko's work had any real impact, Maya was turning paler as the moments passed. "Can't believe Katsuragi had the gall to…" she muttered just a little too loud.

Ah yes, Misato and Kaji, the perfect reason for Ritsuko to smash her keyboard and say fuck it all. But with her mind placated with booze, self gratification, and denial Ritsuko hardly felt anything anymore. "Yes Maya, my mother was fucking the commander. She thought she could get him to love her with her body. Turns out she couldn't and that broke the damn woman's mind. She even claimed to have killed Ayanami before taking her swan dive onto her creation," Ritsuko's slow pealing laughter echoed in the long channel.

Her hands stopped moving, resting on the gentle warmth of her keyboard, Maya was too stunned to type. "Sempai, are you…are you alright?" Maya was just now noticing the odd behavior of the woman next to her. "Is this about my little explosion before the test? I was just…it was just nerves is all. And I'm sorry for bringing up Katsuragi. This business with your mother, are-are you sure you don't want me to…" she reached for Ritsuko's laptop slowly.

Slapping Maya's hand with excessive force, Ritsuko wasn't going to have any of that. "No Maya, I have this. You're good, but I'm better. I had to be better, mother wouldn't allow for daughter of hers to NOT be the best," Ritsuko shrugged as she started isolating the angel's signature. Twitching her head towards her companion, "Sorry if I hit you to hard, but I don't have time for gentleness. As for myself, Maya, I'm perfectly fine. I just have to save the one person I don't want to, but if I don't' we all die."

Drawing in on herself, Maya rubbed her damaged hand with the other. "Sorry about that Sempai, I just wanted to help," Maya inched away from the woman ever so slightly. "You never did talk about your mother before, I didn't…didn't want to bring up bad memories," she slowly started typing again.

Pinpointing the angel's location within the Magi, Ritsuko began to enact her plan. "Nothing to be sorry about, woman got what she deserved in the end. She drove dad to suicide, forced me since birth to be perfect and follow in her footsteps. I had no friends because the great Naoko's daughter had to take extra classes. I had nothing but that woman's impossible goals, and in the end she dies because she couldn't get one man to love her. I promised myself I'd not become her…and I won't," Ritsuko glared at her screen with frightening intensity.

Yes, her promise to herself. She had to live just to mock her mother's death. No easy escape for her, she had to live with the pain, the one thing she did better than her mother. Naoko had lost Gendo and in that took her own life. Well Ritsuko had lost Kaji but she would live with it, just to turn the screws on her long dead mother. So what if her life now consisted of work and dully suppressed rage. She was growing to like it. Do what she wanted without care.

Gently patting Ritsuko's shoulder, Maya's eyes were turning pink. "You don't have to do it alone Sempai. I'll be there for you and-and Shinji-kun too. We'll both be her for you if you need us," Maya said as reassuringly as possible. "I'm sorry I never tried to find out about this issue you had with…her," she grabbed the notes with her hand and scrunched them up.

Ah yes the nice little boy living with her, the boy that was trying to make her life bearable just like Maya. "Thanks Maya, but I'm fine," and she believed it full heartedly. Typing as fast as her fingers could, it was a race against time, the angel was nearing completion of its task just as she was. "Want to go out for a drink after this? I could kill for some rum about now," her liver wouldn't like it, but that thing could fuck off.

"I'd love to Sempai, but I think most bars will be closed by the time we get to leave," laughing a little, Maya relaxed a trifle. "But if you wanted I'd not mind going over to your place. My apartment just feels a little empty right now. Makes me depressed," she confessed.

Almost…almost….DONE! Ritsuko slammed her finger on the enter button and her program executed. The last sector of the Magi not corrupted flashed for a few moments and then the whole Magi was freed of the angelic corruption. Turning to Maya, Ritsuko's mind literally said fuck it and pulled the mousy girl in for a fierce kiss. Maya had always seemed to the doctor like a lesbian, Ritsuko wanted to feel a warm body again…why not Maya?

Maya didn't feel that way. Shoving Ritsuko off, Maya started coughing hoarsely, "S-sempai what was that? I'm not…I don't…?" Her eyes wide in disbelieve, Maya looked appalled and a little sick. Rubbing her lips, "W-was that just because you're happy or…?"

And in that moment Ritsuko realized she had been wrong about Maya. "Yeah, just little overboard due to taking down the angel. Happy to be alive, sorry if I startled you," she sounded just as dead as she felt inside. No matter, there were other bodies, failing that she'd just do it herself again. Seeing Maya relax, Ritsuko started crawling out to the triumphant cheers of the crowds waiting for them. They didn't thank her personally, no they were just cheering to be cheering.

Fine, fuck it, she didn't do what she did for their accolades, she had her own reasons. As pitiful as it made her feel though, she did look for Kaji. He wasn't there and neither was Misato, the coldness inside her intensified. They were likely off celebrating the victory, god it made her feel pitiful how much she missed him. Try as she might she just couldn't turn off all her emotions. It was dwindling, fading faster each day, but knowing that even though she saved the day she didn't get her prize…

"I want to go home," she said as the tapped Maya's shoulder. Possibly her little act of affection and ruined the plans and Maya wouldn't want to interact with her anymore. It would happen eventually, everybody left her eventually. Tugging her shirt open a little more, "You still up for some drinks?"

Maya looked around the room for a few moments, head turned down in thought, but finally she smiled at the tired woman. "Sure Sempai, but how about we get Shinji-kun before we leave. They are likely still in the lake and I bet they don't want to stay there all night," she practically bounced on her feet.

Ruining those who knew the truths mood however, Shigeru ran amongst them with panic etched across his face. "Somebody knocked the commander out and the sub-commander is missing!" the room fell deathly quite after that. Ritsuko and Maya followed the other bridge crew to the commander's office to see just what the hell was going on. The celebration was postponed.

X-X

His heart was beating painfully fast in his chest, but Fuyutski pressed on regardless. Pressed against the wall, slowly making his way down the hallway, he spied for any would be defenders. Being in Terminal Dogma helped a great deal with limiting the number of guards however, only those with access could get down. Or those that could hack their way in.

"Never did find my secondary access codes did you," the wise old man felt a savage glee in that. Gendo for all his pomp and persona was nowhere near as smart as he was, and it would make his success all the more triumphant. "Fools, going to cast me aside because I see the truth where they are to blinded by petty desires," he fumbled to pull his badge out of his pocket.

As Ritsuko worked to prevent the take over of the Magi, Gendo and Kozo had been summoned for an impromptu meeting from SEELE. The old bastards who dreamed for immortality were going to replace him with Ritsuko fully. The damn insipid brood of the whore Naoko apparently understood the Dummy System better than he did. Well, Kozo had a little back up plan.

Thankfully Gendo's office had to be devoid of Section-2 for the meeting to take place. And Gendo had underestimated the conniving insane old man. A quick punch to the throat dropped Gendo to his knees, and that gave Kozo time to break a chair over the bastard's back knocking him out. Now on borrowed time, Kozo moved through the bowels of Nerv to in-act his master plan.

"They can't take what is mine, they can't take my Yui from me," he muttered. Shambling from one wall to the other, a large pain in chest and a numbness spreading in his left arm worried the professor. His time was limited, but it wouldn't kill him, no he had to live and see his prize again. Clutching at his chest he panted, "She was lead astray by that bastard is all. He wouldn't see the truth. Yui reincarnated and at MY side as she should have been all along."

Yes that was what life should have been all those years ago. Yui and he together, Shinji as their son, and a life that they all deserved was what a true reality would be. Well he could strive for it now. But first he had to insure Yui's survival! They'd try to take her away, taint her mind, or worse replace her with one of the soulless dolls!

But getting to the heart of the Dummy System was taking far too long! His body wasn't working as quickly as he wanted, and yet he had to take it slow less he get spotted by the mandatory two guards on the floor. Lurching forward, his head bounced off the security door to the prize, Kozo ran his card through the reader. It glared red at him and buzzed angrily, just as the red warning lights turned off. The angel threat was over! He had to hasten his actions.

Dropping the first card, he had hoped that Gendo wouldn't have been swift enough to cancel his access, Kozo pulled out his billfold. "Always have an ace up your sleeve, Rokubungi, guess you forgot that lesson," his aged lips pealed back over his teeth. Scanning the second card, he pursed his lips, a moment of blind panic seared through him as the reader made no action. He hadn't suspected the need for a third back up! If he couldn't get in…the light turned green and the door hissed open.

With no other need for the card, he fully expected to be apprehended after he succeeded here, Kozo dropped not only the card but his billfold as well. Walking briskly into the dimly illuminated room, it was bathed in a low orange light, the sick man approached the tank. Putting his hands and forehead against it, he smiled deliriously. "Your daughters look so much like you, Yui, but I know the truth. You WERE among them…why else…why else would you…" he tittered as he pulled away from his viewing.

Shambling towards the controls, his erection made it hard to walk straight, his mind on fire with delirium, he fired up the controls. "Only one…sorry daughters but your mother must be the only one…can be the only one," he cried a lone tear for Yui's soon to be dead daughters. But to keep Gendo from replacing his beloved, to insure her survival the others must die. Swallowing hard his mouth was dry, "He'd kill you before recognizing you were here for me and not him."

Despite or even due to his mental imbalance, Kozo made quick work of the few programmed safe guards protecting the tank. Staring at the purge command, a big 'Yes' and 'No' button was the last thing keeping the tank of floating bodies alive, if the term truly applied to them.

"Step away from the console, sir. Don't make us hurt you," Kaji's voice shattered the relative calm of the room. The light of the hallway masked his body, making him appear a large black shadow, with his arm pointed out. "We saw what you did to the commander and suspected you'd come here. Why didn't you just finish him off?" Kaji shuffled further into the room letting a second body in as well.

Misato's voice was equally booming in the small room, "Whatever you're doing here…oh my god what is." Whatever Misato was expected to happen died on her lips as she saw what the room held. A metallic clatter followed by her running towards the tank left Misato's entrance sadly non-supportive.

The spy and the daughter of Katsuragi, interesting. "So you HAVE been in here before, Ryoji-kun. I bet Rokubungi that you'd break in here at some point. Guess another sign that I was smarter than him," Kozo spun around but had his hand on the console. He couldn't be stopped now, even if he didn't hit the button the timer would expire if left long enough. Due to the highly illegal nature of human cloning it was the default to purge and not save. "And I wanted that fool to live with what I've done here. I want him to feel aguish and suffer with the knowledge that MY Yui lives while his little Rei is dead," the numbness was spreading.

Misato stumbled away from the tank and pointed her finger accusingly at Fuyutski. "You monster! What the hell were you fucking doing down here? Why do you have…what IS this?" Misato turned back to the tank in utter disbelief. "What is Nerv doing with something like this," she muttered to herself.

Under the guise of readjusting himself, Kozo hit the enter key. "We're saving humanity Katsuragi, or didn't your father tell you that when he and his team started Armageddon? Odd how his daughter ended up trying to finish what he started," Kozo lurched forward as pain spiked his chest. Falling to his knees, he felt fulfilled despite his condition. He had won…the tank was going to fall apart, the spares dead and gone. The dummy plug all but destroyed save for the few units already created, and his beloved Yui the only remaining vessel. "Yes, Katsuragi knew what he was doing, and you're just his nursemaid cleaning up his shit," Kozo's head rocked off the panel as Kaji slammed his fist into it.

"Shut the fuck up old man! Misato's father had nothing to do with…oh shit," Kaji saw the screen just behind Kozo's head. "You old fool what have you done," Kaji could only watch on in disgust. The bodies, smiling and floating without a care in the world, began to dissolve and break apart before their eyes, Fuyutski's giggling was the only sound heard.

Prying herself away from the grotesque show before her, Misato was ashen white. "What is this Kaji? My father, you knowing about this room, and-and just what the hell is Ayanami Rei?" she appeared as if a strong breeze would knock her over. Shaking her head slowly, "Just who are we working for here? To what end?"

"You're working for the advancement of humanity! Seele wants us all dead! Rokubungi wants Yui's old body back! And they'll get nothing! I'd rather the world BURN!" Fuyutski started hacking. The pain and numbness were growing in equal measure as his vision darkened. An odd glowing drew his attention just beyond the spy. It was formless at first but as it approached him he could see it clearer and clearer. In a moment of shock he sputtered out, "YUI!" then passed out. It took over two hours for the emergency EMT's to confirm he was going to live.

X-X

As a strange buzz befell his current roommate, Shinji and his girlfriend sat oblivious to the madness occurring around them. More than a little embarrassed by not only the events leading up to his sitting in the changing room, but his current predicament, Shinji was more than a little shell shocked.

After their expulsion into the lake, the trio of pilots sat, or lay in Shinji's case, in their LCL with the hatches open. Having no clothing, Shinji hadn't been to keen on sitting as seeing his fellow pilots nude wouldn't have been a good thing. While he had seen both sans clothing before, he sagely suspected Asuka wouldn't have been happy if he saw Rei without her clothing. Hell he suspected Rei to have changed greatly from the girl who he had once seen as such.

So the trio just sat and bobbed in the rather deep lake in the Geofront. Asuka had, as usual, guided the conversation from topic to topic. Shinji did have to include Rei in the talks or he suspected Asuka wouldn't have. His girlfriend had gotten a smidge better at including Rei in things, Shinji would have liked for them to get along better but relented to fate. Things got strange once they saw the searchlights on the side of the lake and they learned they had to swim to shore.

Asuka claimed boldly that she'd help him get back due to his inability just as Rei offered her assistance. Not really wanting to have EITHER girl help him, Shinji had to admit it made more sense for Asuka to help him. They had been intimate, and he was horrified of offending Rei by being so close while nude. She wasn't glass, he knew that, but why test waters that didn't need to be tested? Well much to his shame, Asuka had been in a very teasing mood as they 'swam' back.

Taking advantage of the situation, Asuka rubbed against him, her hand trailed a bit south from time to time, and she knew she was messing with his head. Being that she knew he had a few issues with physical contact, Asuka had to have been doing it purposefully due to the open chance. It was hard to describe, but some part of Shinji's mind just disliked touching people. He was getting better, Asuka's aid being the driving force, but what she did as they approached the agents sent to get them just made Shinji red with embarrassment.

And now he sat, still in the nude, on the changing bench with Asuka on his lap. More precisely an equally naked Asuka's rump was on his legs, arms around his neck, and legs jutting to his right. Willpower was all that kept his little friend from standing up and smacking Asuka's rump. Embarrassing but it was also exhilarating. One main thing was keeping him for enjoying it though, "Asuka-chan, this isn't…what if somebody walks in?"

Content to just sit on his lap, Asuka leaned against his chest and rubbed her wet hair against the side of his face. "Why do you think we're on the female side? I'm covering what they can't see, and I don't want to see some old man's willy," she giggled and kicked her feet. Her voice was soft and relaxed, the tone reserved for times like this when they were alone. Softly murmuring, "Hell I wouldn't even mind of Ayanami walked in. She was checking you out you know, during the walk down the hall."

Asuka just teased too much, and Shinji hated when she used Rei as part of it. But it wasn't in his nature to rock the boat. If he upset Asuka, well she might just grow tired of him and he didn't want to go back to solitude. Stroking her hair as she loved, "She was not and you know it. Rei-san said it herself a few weeks ago, things like that make her uncomfortable. And I guess I'm worried if she did see us like this. I don't…don't want anybody to see us like this. It's just for us." He knew it now he honestly loved the girl on his lap.

Giggling, Asuka pulled away from Shinji and flicked his nose with her left hand. "A woman can tell, but maybe it was just curiosity. And I agree, only you can see this side of me. My little puppy, who goads me to higher heights, and doesn't…" her voice went mute as she kissed Shinji's cheek. Reapplying her arm, she reclined back against him, "I love being with you like this. Another thing we have to excel at you know, which means lots of practice."

Knowing what she meant, Shinji closed his eyes and tried his hardest to resist the siren on his lap. He failed miserably as he felt heat spread outward and upward. If Asuka minded his sudden pressing against her thigh she said nothing. "What do you think is going on up there? We've been back on base for more than an hour and neither Ritsuko or Misato have tried to contact us," his hand not petting her head held her shoulder. She was just so warm and inviting, a blessing he'd never suspected. But blessings had cost, and Asuka's cost was doing a few things he didn't care for. While she had taken their one night of carnal bliss to heart, he was still not so keen.

Yawning contently, Asuka smacked her lips as her head dipped. "I don't care what they're doing. Can't be too important or they'd have called for us, and not have let Wondergirl go. She did go didn't she?" Asuka didn't sound too interested in the answer. Grabbing Shinji's hand, she lowered it to under her armpit and across her chest. Peeking at his blushing face with one eye, "You need to get used to this, Shin-chan. Or is my body not good enough for you?"

That shiver of desire sparked down his spine again, but they couldn't! Not here with so many people! It was hard enough just sitting like this, if somebody saw them…if anybody walked in. Gazing down at the perfect body nestled on his lap, Shinji's heart started beating painfully. "I-I think she left. You said you saw her getting changed before you pulled me over here. And…Asuka-chan you're to good for me, honestly," he nuzzled his head against her. Another payment for her, catering to her ego, not that he minded that one bit. He believed it anyway, Asuka was so far out of his league the fact that he was holding her was mesmerizing.

Smiling her beautiful yet prideful smile at him, Asuka closed that eye and pulled closer to him. "You say that, and I believe you. I say you make me happier than I've known and you doubt. Silly boy, don't you know that I'm usually right?" she yawned again. Sleepily, "As for Ayanami, I think she left. Heard her walk out. Doubt she'd be the type to peep anyway. You're to comfortable Shinji, and your friend down there is positively burning my leg."

"Then sleep, I'll wake you if I hear somebody coming," Shinji started rocking the girl in his arms gently. It didn't take long for her arms to go limp and her breathing to level out. Taking a moment to kiss her forehead, he brushed the hair out of her face. It was odd at times, hard for him at times, but he didn't want it to end. Her temper could be tolerated, her whims suffered through, and her demands and forceful nature accepted. He'd take the good with the bad.

Asuka slept in Shinji's arms for over an hour before he gently shook her awake. The sounds of approaching women could be heard, and Shinji had to get over to his side before they showed up. It was Ritsuko and Maya, they told the fully dressed teens about what happened with Kozo. That the man broke free, damaged some systems, and had a near fatal heart attack. Misato and Kaji were going to have to stay later, so Maya offered to drive Asuka home.

Ritsuko informed the duo that she would drive Shinji and Rei home as well.

X-X

Authors notes

A lot of plot points and slightly darker tones. I tried to make up for that with the fluff at the end here. Hope it wasn't to sweet of a scene for you. Hope you have a happy Turkey Day and get your shopping done early this year.

It is a shame I don't get more feedback on this story, but I guess serious doesn't garner as much attention as silly. So to those of you still reading this, I thank you heartily.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	17. Chapter 17

Standard Disclaimer

Again I want to apologize for the delays in my stories as of late. Holidays ate a lot of time, then my cat passed on early in January and that really messed with my head. Things are getting back on course and I'm going to endeavor to get things back on track. Thanks for the understanding.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 17

Lurching forward in his bed, Shinji shot up so fast it sent Luna off his bed and to the ground startled. Panting heavily, sweat dribbling down his face, Shinji reached up and put his hand to his forehead. "Just a dream…a very bad dream," he murmured trying to get his mind to accept it. The vision he had awoken from hadn't been a nightmarish hell, no it was more personal and that's what terrified the boy. He could deal with death, it was his duty to do so, but what he had seen in that vision. Shaking his head, his hand going drawing back the thin sheet, he bemoaned "This isn't good, not at all."

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Luna jumped back up now that Shinji was calm and not thrashing. From the pile of clothing that he slept on, Artemis looked at the scene then went back to slumber. Running his fingers across that short black fur, Shinji's chest still hammered with the adrenalin that his little dream caused. "Luna, why did I dream that? Asuka-chan would never cheat on me, she'd end it first," he scratched under her chin.

Looking out his window, the darkness of night was still prevalent, he checked his clock. "Only midnight? What I get for going to bed early," he muttered and flipped off the alarm. He was wide awake now so the odds of going to sleep were dashed. Not that he had to sleep, it was Sunday and he had a date with Asuka anyway. Letting out a shudder, he finally started to calm down, "If this is what it feels like to lose somebody, no wonder Ritsuko-san is…"

With Luna curled up on his lap, her purrs eliciting a vibration just tuned enough to get an erection from the boy. "Bad kitty," he scolded the pampered feline that didn't care. The dream though, it had been so real and the Asuka bit was only half of what made it so terrifying. It had been simple and stupid to his waking mind, but that's how all dreams were. Simple enough, he had went to find Asuka, flows and a ring in hand, he was going to tell her that he loved her.

Odd how nether of them really said that to the other, Shinji still wasn't sure if it was love or just intense infatuation on his part. As the memories faded into his subconscious again, the lad wasn't sure if he was going to meet her at school, her apartment, or Nerv. What he did recall was opening a door, a metallic green door he recalled, and finding Asuka with Touji of all people. They weren't just going at each other, they were doing something Shinji didn't even know how to describe.

Kensuke would have told him it was sixty-nine, but Shinji was vague on terms. And as Asuka and he kept things vanilla save for a few hand plays, it wasn't like he was well versed. His dream self had demanded to know what was happening and the dream Asuka looked up from her task. Touji's member was a good foot and a half in Shinji's dream. Once her oral obstruction was gone told Shinji distinctly, 'If I want to get better at having sex I need somebody more than two inches. Anyway I said we were just going to try this, not like we loved each other or anything.'

Suddenly dream Shinji had been all too aware that he was nude and Asuka's analysis of his member was an over estimate, Shinji couldn't even see it. Touji looked away to shrug at Shinji before diving back into his task. Before Shinji could refute Asuka's claim, the second and even more mind breaking event occurred. Ayanami Rei grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face her. All Rei said was 'As you did what you don't like, I can only assume your words are lies.' Then Kozo appeared at her side, took her hand, and lead her away.

Standing between the two girls, Asuka and Touji having moved on to even more lewd positions and Rei being led away by the bastard, dream Shinji had stood prone unable to move. He wanted to tell Rei to stay away from Fuyutski, he wanted to throttle Touji for having sex with Asuka. But in the end he did nothing…he fell to his knees but did nothing. That was when he woke up.

"I can't imagine how it would really feel. I don't think she'll leave me…not now anyway," Shinji gently picked Luna up and laid her on his pillow. Being wide awake jump started other aspects of Shinji's body, meaning he felt the need to pee. His time with Asuka was making him really think she cared about him, like him though she seemed reluctant to say the 'L' word, he wasn't going to judge. "But why does it hurt so much to think of her doing that?" he clenched the fabric of his shirt.

Not knowing if Ritsuko was up or not, she had worked the afternoon shift meaning she would have gotten home less than an hour ago, Shinji stealthily left his room. It had been three days since the disastrous events of the nude sync test and the angel she killed, and things were only started to calm down. Something had happened, something bad, but nobody was telling him what it was, weren't telling any of the pilots. Finding the living room light off, but the flickering of lights from the television was proof that Ritsuko was up.

Was it a good night or a bad night for the woman, Shinji hoped for the former. "Hi, Ritsuko-san, did work go well?" he called out to gauge the woman's mood. She had never said anything about his little run in they had in the bathroom, but her curves did come to his mind on occasion. Making his way behind the couch, another of those odd American horror movies playing, he saw the empty plates of food he made for her. A little louder he asked, "Was the food good? I tried something new today."

Eyes already a little hazy, Ritsuko lazily twisted her head to address her flatmate. "Oh it was great Shinji-kun, I told you that you didn't have to make me supper. But thanks all the same," she turned back to her movie and her cup of booze. Clad in only a bit blue t-shirt and her underwear, she had her legs kicked up on the coffee table showing off her toned legs. After a very audible drink, "Didn't wake you did I? I don't work tomorrow, Maya's taking my shift, so I felt like some movies."

"Had a nightmare," he said bashfully. Watching the movie for a few moments, it was some man in a hockey mask, Shinji shrugged and headed to the bathroom to take care of business. It seemed at least that Ritsuko was doing well, drunk, but fine. She had odd moments, like the shower incident, but on the whole he thought she was getting better. Smiling to himself, he washed his hands, she had liked his food. While he couldn't do much for her, he was glad he could at least be here for her. He felt he owed her something, giving him a place to live, making him feel welcome, and just not throwing him out. With Kaji gone, Shinji did worry that Ritsuko would have asked him to leave as well.

Shutting the door, he found he had an audience in the kitchen. "You don't always get treats when I'm in here you know," Shinji admonished to two greedy felines. Buckling under the cuteness of Luna flopping on her side and batting at him, he opened the cupboard to get their junk food. Trying to sound upset, and failing miserably at it, he stated, "Only a few. I don't want you guys getting fat."

"Shinji, make me another drink would you? This one is almost gone. Half ice with brandy, and a melon soda," Ritsuko slurred from the living room.

Dropping two separate piles of treats on the floor, Luna would eat them all otherwise, Shinji paused. "Maybe she is drinking to much, but it could be worse," he lied to himself. Mixing the drink, he took a whiff of the pungent aroma and wrinkled his nose. She like her drinks way to strong. Turning off the light, the large green plastic cup in hand, he guided over Ritsuko's discarded slacks by the light of the television. "Here you go Ritsuko-san," he handed over her drink.

Taking the intoxicant, Ritsuko sucked up a sample from the straw Shinji provided. "Better, Shinji, might make a good bartender out of you after all. Patting the cushion next to her, Ritsuko spared Shinji another glance, "Have a sit. Tell me about this dream of yours?" she actually sounded interested. Leaning forward she ran her finger against the plate to garner a little of the food remaining. "Or did you want to try going back to sleep," she shrugged.

Talk to Ritsuko about his dream or go back to bed? The Shinji that had first moved in would have flew to his room to avoid this, but now Shinji felt compelled to stay. Ritsuko was alone now, well he felt that's how she considered herself, and he wanted her to know he was still there for her. Taking her up on the offer, Shinji finally took notice of her choice in clothing, rather her lack thereof. Suddenly his mouth was a little dry, did she not know he could see her black frilly panties?

"Not really tired after it actually," he admitted reluctantly. He was a teenager damn it why was he letting a dream play with his head so much. Leaning back against the couch, insuring he gave Ritsuko a good amount of space, he tried not looking at her legs. "Basically I had a dream I found Asuka-chan and somebody else…" he didn't want to go into to much details. Ritsuko had to live his dream in reality, so he didn't want to go on to long.

She didn't answer immediately, no she had to take in a long gulp from her cup. Letting out a very unladylike belch, Ritsuko scratched at her stomach and hiked her shirt over her navel. "With what happened here its not surprising actually," Ritsuko finally said. Leaning on the armrest, her chin resting on her palm she continued, "You saw what happened between Kaji and me. Was it just her cheating or did this dream Asuka say anything? Might help identify why you think she might wander."

Blinking hard, Shinji found the light from the television cast Ritsuko in a pale glow. "Well you know how Asuka-chan likes to train in everything she does. Well in the dream she said I wasn't…that I couldn't help her get better at…" it was to damn embarrassing! It wasn't like he checked out the size of the other guys in the shower, but he wondered if he was up to size. What if he was to small for her…what if he wasn't really making her feel good?

Letting out a loud laugh, Ritsuko roped her arm around Shinji's shoulder and pulled her against him. With Shinji half on her chest, she breathed the heavy stink of rum and brandy on his face. "Shinji-kun, it's not about the size. All the important nerves are three inches inside a woman's vagina," she turned his face to look at her. "And I'll let you in on a secret. We did tape you three days ago, and after reviewing the tape I can say you got a healthy guy down there," she poked Shinji just above what she was talking about.

Her eyes went glassy for a few moments, just staring into Shinji's eyes with a half turned smile. She leaned in for a moment only to wipe her head to the side and drink more. "You're just worried Shinji-kun, don't be. That girl likes you, and sex isn't everything. Well it helps…if you want I can teach you a few things. Ever go down on her?" Ritsuko kicked her legs back up on the table. Talking candidly to him, she didn't even look at him now, she was to engrossed in the man cutting a teenage boy's throat.

With Ritsuko's hand around his neck and placed on his chest, Shinji was besides himself. He hadn't expected her to be so…touchy. Ritsuko never was the type he had seen to be so close to people. And she was so open about her speech, she never talked this openly to him before. Trying to not think of how warm her hand was, or the swell of her breast against his side, "I…we never really did anything like that. It's all so new to us. I wouldn't know how really."

Hugging Shinji absently, "Want me to show you what to do? It's easy really, girls are a lot simpler to please than media makes it seem. Find her clit, stick your tongue in and just…" she took another deep drink. "OH god…sorry Shinji-kun, just a-just a bit to much…" she burped hard. Her head tilted down against her chest, "God I'm pathetic. Just an old bitch teasing a teenager about girls. Why do you stay here?"

Her tone all but begged Shinji to refute her, not because she was fishing for complements but she truly believed it. The nervousness he felt at being so close to her, her hand on his chest, and that look like she might have actually tried kissing him fled him. "You're not old Ritsuko-san, and I don't think you're a bitch. I guess…I guess you're a lot like me. I don't want to bother people…and I think you're…" he couldn't think of words to say to convey what he felt.

Turning back to him, the glassiness out of her eyes, Ritsuko smiled broadly at him and shook her head slowly. "Don't talk Shinji-kun, lets just watch the movie," she did gaze at him for a few more moments before taking her own advice.

He didn't speak, didn't know what else he could have said. But he felt something in that moment, a connection to Ritsuko that might not have been present before. And for that he felt better. 'Ritsuko-san, you're not alone in this. I understand, and I'll be here.' As awake as he was when he sat down, an hour later, well into another movie, Shinji fell asleep against Ritsuko's side. In the morning when he woke up with her hand down his shirt, drool on her chin, he freed himself and laid her down on the couch. "She's getting better," oh how he wished he believed that.

X-X

Running her finger around the rim of her beer can, Misato tipped the half full container towards her and stood it on the edge. Her father, what had her father done in Antarctica that Fuyutski knew about. Worse, did Kaji know about it and the room they found the old fucker in? He hadn't been nearly as startled as she was to see a room of clones, and Misato wasn't one to think he was simply 'made of sterner stuff'. That was bullshit, it was so inhuman to see that even the hardest of minds would have taken at least a moment to take it in.

"You paying attention to me, Asuka, or is that music so loud you can't even hear me," Misato asked the girl across the table from her. Her little girl was a woman, still hard for her to accept that. If Shinji had been a different type of boy Misato could hate him for it, but knowing the two teens she knew who the driving force was. Reaching across the table, Misato pulled one of the ear buds out of Asuka's ears. Upon seeing Asuka's genuine smile Misato's mood brightened, "Glad of you to come back to the conversation."

Setting her portable gaming unit on the table next to her half eaten breakfast, Asuka turned her music player off. "Sorry, was grinding out a few levels before I went out for a jog," Asuka shrugged but damned if she wasn't still glowing. Poking at her eggs, it had been her turn to cook so it was a more western dish, "Did you need something?"

Envy and jealousy seared up in Misato from time to time just looking at how content Asuka was. "No date with Shinji today? Is the world coming to an end, a Sunday without you two hanging out," teasing was still par the course though. Shinji just made Asuka happy, well happy in ways Misato couldn't. Had she ever been so happy with Kaji as Asuka was with Shinji? Tapping her can forward it fell back on its base, "Well I guess even you can't be totally pulled away from your games and music, giving him the day off?"

Sticking her tongue out at Misato, Asuka clenched her eyes shut in mock anger. That fake became real as Kaji walked into the room and Asuka's continence plummeted. The smile gone, Asuka glared at Kaji as he moved towards the bathroom, "Oh we have a date, but he has something to do this morning that he isn't telling me. So I'll get my exercise done early so we can focus on having fun. Thinking roller skating in the park or maybe go to that new theme park, heard good things about it. Why?" Once the door shut to the privy Asuka was back to smiling at Misato.

Why did she hate Kaji so much, Misato wanted to know Asuka's reasons? But having asked her in the past resulting in an argument, Misato wasn't going to re-burn that bridge. "No reason, just we're going to a wedding this afternoon so I wanted to know where you'd be. But you at a theme park, don't know what's more odd you wanting to go on rides that bore you or Shinji-kun in a public place," she giggled at that one. The boy, despite all the changes Asuka brought out of him, just didn't seem to like being in crowds.

Her eyes opened wide for a few moments as Asuka took in the sudden knowledge. Quite despite herself a smile was curling in on the edges of her lips regardless of how hard she fought against it. "So not going to be back till late? That an invitation for me to have Shinji over to cook us some food?" the energy in Asuka's voice was raising. Turning off her game, she popped an ear bud back into her left ear. "Oh, mind if I borrow some of your lavender perfume for the date?" she got to her feet and did a few stretches.

"That's for adu…" Misato was about to deny Asuka's request but her line of thought got derailed. Lower her gaze to her half drank breakfast, "Yeah you can, but leave some for me." Asuka was an adult, Misato couldn't hold that rule against her anymore. But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing having a young woman rather than a young girl in the apartment…she could still tease right? Clearing the lump in her throat, "So you going to take your man to a love motel and spare me the need to clean your sheets today?"

The German's body just stopped moving as it had been. No longer was Asuka heading towards the door of the apartment, she had came to a complete and abrupt halt. Leg poised up in mid-stride, "I…I…I never thought of that! It's such a messy and smelly thing, think it's a good idea?" Slowly Asuka's leg reconnected with the dirty floor, Shinji hadn't had a chance to clean for them in awhile. Joking or not, Asuka's emotions were hiding behind her impish face.

Whether it was there or not, Misato believed she saw through Asuka's ruse. Hoping some of the innocence of youth still resided behind those steely blue eyes, Misato nodded at Asuka. "Well you do have Shinji-kun around here I guess you could just have him clean up after for you…have him do the floor in here while he's at it. That man of yours hasn't been pulling his weight around here," she gestured to the slovenly state of the apartment.

Snorting out her nose, Asuka shook her head hard, her hair flying to the four winds. Popping the other ear-bud in, "Why not have 'your' man try doing some work around here. He's been living her long enough and the only work he seems to be doing is on 'the plumbing'." Skipping out of line of sight, Asuka's laughter could be heard all the way to the door and then silence.

Kaji…was that all they did do anymore was have sex? They hadn't gone out on any real dates, hardly talked in the apartment, but Asuka did make it hard for privacy in the place. Somehow she thought it would be different than what it was. Seeing how much Asuka and Shinji did made Misato crave that sort of relationship at least a little. But with the whole reveal in terminal dogma, Misato was having a hard time even looking at Kaji. If he had kept the Rei business a secret from her, what else might he be hiding? Cheat once…cheater forever?

The toilet flushed and a few moments latter the door opened and the man in question left his hiding place. "You think she'll ever stop hating me?" Kaji asked with a hint of aggravation. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, the man sat at Asuka's half eaten plate of food. "I walk into the room and she's all smiles, she sees me and its right back to glaring daggers at me. What DID you tell her about me that colored me that way?" he took a bite of the left over food.

Reaching her hand across the table, she took hold of Kaji's and clenched hard. "Nothing but the truth, Kaji. She'll warm up to you in time though. Took me a few months for her to even call me by my first name," Misato felt a wave of nostalgia hit her. Asuka all that time ago, where did that angry and bitter girl go, far away never to return Misato hoped. Just if her scores kept dropping, Misato wouldn't be able to keep the ruse up that Shinji passed her. Forcing herself back to the fact, "You pick out your clothing for the wedding this afternoon?"

Taking back the hand Misato had requested, Kaji picked up his new coffee mug and took a deep drink. With a small head nod responded, "Thought I'd wear my suit, not like I have many options right now. Not even sure why I agreed to go to this, I hardly remember Tamari-kun." Popping a bit more egg into his mouth he made a few pleasant murmurs as he swallowed, "Kid can cook, not as good as Shinji-kun, but not bad."

Bring it up or let it go, Misato waged the battle in her mind. Kaji had to know something some inkling about what Nerv was doing, what her father had done. But if she asked and didn't like the answer, what then? What if it was so bad that she couldn't stand to see him anymore, what if she was alone again? Age was ticking, none stop, and as she approached thirty Misato wanted some stability in her life. And having two names on the adoption papers would really help to get Asuka away from that bastard father of hers.

Picking up the can again, she held it to her lips as she watched Kaji eat Asuka's leftovers. She couldn't help it, "Kaji, what can you tell me about that room and about my father? Don't say you know nothing, I nearly lost it when I saw those girls, but you…you seemed unaffected." Misato's need for revenge, she based her life on killing the angels that had killed her father. It wasn't because she loved the man, no she hated the man who made her mother cry, but Misato would avenge family.

The chopsticks fell from Kaji's prone fingers as he looked at Misato. He blinked several times, his mouth opened and closed a few times as he started to talk but aborted. "Are you sure you want to hear about your father Misato?' her name still came out without the desired emotional weight. "Ayanami was one thing, I suspected something odd about that girl after the commander started having Ri-Akagi working on special projects revolving around Ayanami. From what I could gather, they put that girl in some big machine and have her synchronize with things she never saw. Guess I was expecting 'something' like that," Kaji shrugged a little.

That damn chill was working up the back of her spine again, and its name was Ritsuko. Her old friend, hell Misato still wanted to be friends but after reclaiming Kaji it wasn't likely. Just how he avoided talking about her, tied to not say her first name, Misato could still tell he felt something for her. It was good though, they had been a couple for years, so for him to turn off the emotions like a switch would be odd. 'But he's mine now, like he was before…I love him and he lo…' he had never said it though. At least Ritsuko had to work today so no chance of seeing her at the wedding, so maybe Kaji and she could work on that.

"Makes sense about Ayanami I guess, heard enough of those test myself from Akagi" Misato wouldn't say the name either. Whatever Gendo had Ritsuko working on revolving the First Child was odd, but clones Misato would have never suspected. Now the big question, had her father damned the planet, helped, or something else. "My father Kaji, I need to know. I've spent so much time either hating the man for what he did to mom and me, or thinking I failed to live up to his expectations after he saved me. I joined Nerv to get revenge, for mankind and myself. If it was all because of him," she ground her teeth and slammed her fist on the table. Her can fell over much to Pen-Pen's delight as the bird started lapping up the spillage.

Hissing loudly, Kaji reached into his pockets and pulled out a smoke. Being forbidden to smoke in the apartment, Asuka could tell from the smell, Kaji looked pleadingly at Misato. After getting the head nod he lit up, "From what little I've read from the official files, I've only clearance for half of them, it seems like he was in charge of the whole operation down in the Antarctic."

Taking a deep drag, Kaji flicked his ashes on the remainder of the breakfast. "I've always wondered what happened down there, ever since being told the truth about Second Impact, and I've been sneaking about those files. Akagi would cover my tracks because she felt the same, we want to know what Nerv is hiding from us. And from what we've gathered, they knew something was there, Misato, they knew something strange was down there. Whether they knew the full truth or not, I can't be certain unless I get a promotion. But from what I've seen your father was in charge of all the tests, whatever they were trying to really do, it was at his order." Reclining back in his chair, Kaji appeared sympathetic to say the least.

Her body trembled as anger surged through her. Was she angry Kaji knew this and didn't tell her, angry at her father for tempting fate or worse, or angry that she could have checked herself but never thought to, Misato didn't know. All she knew was she didn't like it, not one bit. "What else is Nerv hiding, Kaji. This business with Ayanami, I don't want Asuka around her, and now you tell me this about my father…what else are they hiding?" Misato had never doubted Nerv before, but now. Now the veil over her eyes was being pulled back.

Putting his half smoked cigarette out in Asuka's eggs, Kaji just frowned. "I wish I knew that Misato-chan, I really wish I knew."

X-X

Reviewing the latest reports from some of the lower level tech-heads, Maya grimaced. "It looks like it'll take at least a full week at this speed to insure that the Magi are totally free of the angels influence, thanks," she didn't even bother looking at the young woman that handed her the printouts. It was bad, that's all Maya really needed to know, the angel did a real number on them.

Sparing Maya a glance, Shigeru stated the obvious, "Not to good is it? Who would have thought that those things would be smart enough to attack us in such a way?" His fingers slowed but didn't stop their incessant click-clacking of his keyboard. "Lucky we survived that one, never thought we'd have an angel we couldn't use the Eva's for," a glum sense pervaded his normally chipper tone.

Tossing the report onto the pile of older ones, nearly three inches thick now, Maya fell back heavily into her chair. "No kidding, it took a whole day to get the basic power back on for the base. Then the Magi were arguing over random things that they weren't even supposed to influence. If we didn't need all the old data I'd say reformat the bitches, but commanders orders," Maya let her hands dangle at her side.

"Weren't you supposed to have off today anyway, Maya, why are you even here?" Shigeru's fingers slowed to a crawl. Reaching for what looked to be his fifth soda of the shift, the man hammed it back, and released a mighty belch. After a long moan, "Caffeine you are a godsend. Where is Akagi-san, she'd make a lot faster work of this than we would, she's trained in it."

Sparing her half full mug of coffee, Maya could agree that the crutch of coffee was a strong one today. She had her lunch less than an hour ago, three hours left of her shift (assuming she could escape), and she was still pounding the coffee like water. "Akagi-sempai wanted to go to a wedding of one of her friends from college. And since we'd have died if it wasn't for her I offered to take her shift today," Maya was just a tad extra curt.

Nobody even mentioned Ritsuko unless it was in wonder why the blond wasn't there to work, Maya didn't care for that. The kiss aside, Maya tried to push it off as it never happened, Ritsuko was Maya's friend, one who didn't get the credit she was due. Having watched Ritsuko punish herself to work on the Magi surrounded by mementos of her departed mother, Maya felt a slow building resentment of the other staff of Nerv. Nobody congratulated Ritsuko, hell nobody even seemed to notice her after the threat ended. Only thing keeping Maya from visiting Ritsuko now was…well the memory of that kiss.

Setting up a total reformatting of the sub-systems in Balthazar, Maya groaned. "Would it have been so hard for you to have thanked Sempai for her what she did? I know Ryoji was more your friend than she was, but you could at least talk to her on occasion couldn't you?" Maya pleaded. Maybe Ritsuko just needed a date, hell maybe even a one-night stand to get over that pig. Quite despite Maya's forebrain an image of Ritsuko having sex with Shinji entered her mind and refused to leave.

Crushing the now empty can in his left hand, Shigeru dropped it in the trash next to his station. Putting his hands up in mock-defense, "Easy Maya easy, I've just been busy as it is. With the issues with you-know-who I've been to busy. As for thanking her for the angel, I won't lie as of late Akagi-san unnerves me a little. She's got some odd look in her eye, like she just doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore. Guess she took the break-up hard?" he finally turned to Maya giving her his full attention.

Kaji, Maya's feelings regarding her old quasi-friend were polarized. A small part of the tech still wondered how he was in the sack, that last vestige of her sexuality flaring. Anymore Maya considered herself non-sexual, she just had no drive that she wanted to accept while awake. The bigger part of her mind hated the bastard for cheating. If he had broke up formally with Ritsuko it would be one thing, people drift apart as she well knew, but Maya loathed cheaters.

"She does, but Sempai is just really good at masking her feelings," Maya defended what she considered Ritsuko's issue. "And regarding the break-up, Ryoji tore her heart out, stomped on it, and then fucked Katsuragi on the remains. How would you expect her to take…it," Maya's anger flared higher as Makoto made his way across the command deck to his station behind her. Trying not to even acknowledge the prick, "She's over him, I think, she's just not ready to start dating again. Yeah, yeah." Maybe that's why Ritsuko kissed her, simple loneliness and confusion. She had no reason to avoid the troubled woman. Ritsuko wasn't going to ruin their friendship by trying something with a straight arrow.

With a noncommittal shrug Shigeru kept his eyes on Makoto as well, "I guess. I've never had somebody cheat on me though. My girl friend is honest with me, tells me straight up what she's up to and wanting." A pour dig on the hurt man starting his console, but Makoto was on everybody in 'the know's shit list. Leaning forward, arms resting on his knees, "Think we should have a night out with her, just the three of us? Might brighten her spirits a bit."

She could feel the fucker staring at her, those pitiful and morose eyes begging for forgiveness, but Maya wasn't in the mood. "Could be a good idea, I'm hoping this wedding she's going to helps her. Nice to know that some people are still getting married. Good and strong relationships built on trust and mutual affection," suck on that you spineless bastard. Every thought of Makoto was tied to the fact that he betrayed them all for sex, not a relationship but sex. Poor Rei had been visible distraught over having 'him' around.

"Are you both going to keep saying things like that, or is it out of your system? I can work from another station if you want," Makoto's emotionless voice cut through the heavy atmosphere. His hands hung limply at his side, eyes had dark circles under them, and his hair looked as if it hadn't been washed in days. "I'd apologize for it, apologize till I'm blue in the face, but you won't forgive me so what's the point?" he droned.

Spinning in her chair, Maya jutted an angry finger in the man's direction. "Damn right a simple apology won't get you off the hook Hyuga-kun. Not just for what you said to me, but what you did to the pilots, hell what you did to Nerv as a whole! And for what? Tell me, tell me what was it for?" Maya was aware her voice was rising and people were turning to look. Taking a deep breath, doing whatever she could to wrangle in her anger it was a hard fought battle. "How about telling us, was it worth our friendships?" Maya said softer and turned to Shigeru who was nodding.

Robotically his fingers moved to the keyboard and logged into the system. His head falling against his shoulder, glasses nearly falling off, Makoto snickered a little. "I thought she loved me, Ibuki-sama, I really did. I honestly and truly thought that I was going to marry her, and we'd live happily together from that point on. So yes, when I believed she loved me it was worth it. The world was ours! We were going to expose the lies of Nerv, going to stick it to those that lie to our faces, and we were going to be happy." The man's shoulders hitched, eyes went red but he didn't cry, "Was it worth you two…" he mumbled the last word.

"What was that Hyuga-kun, I didn't quite hear that and I bet Maya didn't either," Shigeru jabbed back. Crossing his hands against his chest, the guitarist's brow furrowed, "Why not say it again a little louder so we can both hear you."

Defeated, utterly and totally broken, Makoto started laughing the way of the condemned. "No it wasn't worth it. You two were about my only real friends here, well you two and Kaji. Not to keen on making new friends I guess, but for what I thought I was going to get I thought it was worth it. I figured in time you'd forgive me Shigeru, and Maya I…I thought you…" he started laughing harder. "I thought I lost my chance with you ages ago so it was easier to make an enemy than a friend," his confession was meet with his head jerking forward and eying the woman full on.

Jerking back as if slapped, Maya felt the words leave her mouth. She hadn't even considered Makoto as a potential boyfriend, the man was just…not her type. Her type was slowly forming in her mind, but she was resisting as hard as she could. "Well, Hyuga-kun, life doesn't always work the way we want is it. Burning bridges is a bad thing," she turned away from him and back to her work. In time she'd try and talk to him, Maya could never stay angry for to long, but she new they'd never be as close as they were before. They might become pleasant acquaintances in the future but never again friends. That bridge was not just destroyed but the ashes scattered to the four winds.

X-X

Walking towards her apartment, Rei staggered and bounced her shoulder off the wall. It had been a long day and it was only four o'clock. Casting a glance at the Ikari/Akagi door, she contemplated knocking on it, perhaps she could impose on Shinji to cook for her. That idea was quickly dashed, it wasn't in her nature to ask for anything, and the lunch she had with the commander hadn't been to sparse. Pulling her key out, she was about to slide it down the reader when she heard music coming from inside.

"Shinji-kun left his cello," she's eyebrow raised questioningly. He was supposedly going to have a date with the volatile Second-Child, so why would he be here now? Pushing the door open, somber tones caressed her ears as she removed the last barrier to the audio waves. Taking her shoes off, she shut the door as silently as possible less she interrupt his playing. It was something she enjoyed greatly, listening to him play. It was personal, private, and she enjoyed the feeling of the music.

Stealthily moving through her Spartan apartment, Rei found her prey sitting on one of her few chairs before the sliding door to the balcony. With his back to her, he never stalled his hand and continued to play. The urge to sleep was still deep in her, so too was the desire for food, but first she had to know, why was Shinji here? She had seen him from her seat on the VTOL at the memorial, he hadn't seemed to upset at the time.

"Shinji-kun, is something the matter?" Rei asked in a lull in the playing. Her hands went to cover her ears as a loud screech peeled out of the strings as Shinji's hands went wild. Standing at a close distance, within arms reach, of him Rei hadn't expected such a dramatic reception to her docile tones. "You are in my apartment while I am not present, as we have cleaned recently I only wish to know if something is wrong," concern was new to her, but when Shinji was involved it reared its head on occasion.

Setting his bow down, Shinji slowly turned towards Rei. Running his hand under his nose, it glistened with cast off moisture, Shinji offered Rei a feeble smile. "S-sorry Rei-san, you know I left my cello after last time we had our little play sessions," something was off in Shinji's voice, it was brittle. The sessions were always solos, Shinji would play for a bit, then Rei would play, but they never played a duet. Sniffing his nose again he muttered, "Wanted to play a bit but didn't want to drag it home. Sorry if I'm bothering you."

Moving to the couch, her strength draining from her, Rei sat down with her hands folded in her lap. The day had been so taxing and it wasn't due to physical activity, more mental. The commander had rattled her world by informing her that she could no longer be replaced. Her safety was imperative now as 'he' had done something to alter the scenario. Then she was shown a secret she was sworn to keep unto death, Nerv had an angel in its deepest bowels and she had stabbed it with what the commander said was the Lance of Longinus.

But for Shinji she could suffer a bit more time awake, "You were to have a date with Soryu were you not. Is that the cause of your distress?" Something had altered Shinji's emotional state since the relatively calm boy at the cemetery. Soryu, that girl was goading and prodding Rei more and more and she didn't like it. Flaunting her relationship with Shinji, making him uncomfortable, forcing him to do things he didn't want, and just being a general nuisance. If she hurt Shinji though, truly hurt him…Rei's fingers curled into fists.

Spinning in his chair, half facing Rei, Shinji draped his arm over the chair his back in an odd angle. "Well we did have a date, sort-of, but things didn't go to well. We had a bit of a fight, but she already apologized for it so…I'm just thinking to hard I guess," he half shrugged. Glancing at the door, "You want me to leave, you must have had a-uh tiring day. Saw you with f-father earlier today."

Shaking her head slowly, Rei wanted more details and Shinji was proving to be shy about delivering. "The commander had some news for me regarding my additional tests, and he had a mission for me. I am fine to converse. Go on, tell me of your date, it might help sooth you. Talking to you has helped me in the past, perhaps it shall do the same for you," her eyes softened. Talking with Shinji had become something important to here. It helped to ease her mind about the issues regarding _him_ and gave her something to look forward to.

Gazing at the door again, Shinji appeared to be contemplating just leaving regardless, but in the end his head just sagged forward. "Maybe you're right, but if what I say makes you uncomfortable let me know and I'll stop," Shinji was firm in his demands. "While we were at an amusement park, Asuka whispered to me that she wanted to go to a l-love motel after. I told her I wasn't in the mood. She got upset, asked why. So I told her about what I did this morning, I didn't earlier because I didn't want to ruin the mood. Well she pressed by asking if I was worried my mother would be watching. I-I still said no," Shinji was finally looking at Rei, not just looking but intently gazing into her eyes with an unknown fire in them.

Sex, Rei still wasn't comfortable with that concept of life. No longer did she fear it or those that engaged in it, talking had helped with that. It was just, after being lied to for so long, being so close to having it forced upon her, it made her shiver. Shinji and Asuka having sex, well that made Rei feel odd in a different way that she didn't know. Talking to him about it though somehow didn't seem appropriate. Had she not been told she'd no longer need to sync with the dummy plug she'd have asked Ritsuko about it.

Hearing Shinji standing up for himself though, that filled Rei with a much more positive feeling. "Am I to assume she did not take the refusal well?" Rei scanned the clock on the wall. It wasn't late yet, but damned if she wasn't having trouble keeping her eyes focused. Coughing into her hand, more to force her body to react, she asked, "You said she apologized, something else happened after as well?"

Rolling his hand over, Shinji reclined more into the chair with sulking shoulders. "Yeah it did. After I told her no again, she got real quite for awhile. I tried to apologize but she didn't seem to listen. After a good ten minutes she asked me to get her a soda from one of the stands. When I got back, she was gone, no note or call just gone. Well I waited at the girls bathroom for a good twenty minutes incase she had to go, all I got was people calling me a pervert. I tried calling her but she didn't answer. Eventually I came home, and when I got to the building she called me. She apologized for leaving me, saying she understood how thinking of my mother would be a bit of a cold shower," he confessed. But something in his body language cried out worry.

Suppressing a yawn, Rei could see the events playing out in her mind. The girl didn't get something she wanted and vented her anger, typical spoiled child reaction. Upon self inspection Soryu would have realized she had been in the wrong, or she had more to lose if she let things go. "What does this mean for the two of you now then?" Rei asked innocently enough. The magazines she got from Maya were quite detailed on relationship breakers, and abandonment was high up on the causes.

Shrugging, Shinji's face was unreadable, "Nothing really, she apologized and I accepted. I just…I feel stupid making such a deal about it. Any other guy would stab me for a chance at what Asuka offered, but I said no. I said no because if I can't tell somebody 'no' when I don't want them to do something, who am I to tell you how to act." A shiver went down Shinji's back as something wormed its way into his mind. He didn't say what it was, but it worked him the wrong way in a bad way.

Getting off the couch, a wave of vertigo caused her to stumble forward, Rei approached the boy. Deep down she realized something, he was making it a point not just for himself but for her. Asuka was important to Shinji, Rei realized this, but he was important to her. Despite that he was willing to risk something to show her that personal space was worth any risk. As her magazines said, she wanted to show her application, but a kiss was to much so. Wrapping her arms around Shinji, she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling his heart rate accelerate, "Thank you," was all she said.

Bristling for a few moments, Shinji finally relaxed and wrapped on arm around Rei's waist. "Don't mention it, I'm not as strong as you. But I can still live by what I say, can't I?" he said softly as he stood. "Look its getting late and you look tired. How about you take a nap and I cook us some supper? Ritsuko-san isn't going to be home tonight, I don't want to eat alone, and it spares you from having to cook?" he gently backed away from her, soft smiling lighting up his face.

"That would be appreciated," Rei said as she found herself smiling back at him, nowhere near as expressive but she was. Letting him lead her back to the couch, she understood what the term pampering meant at that moment. He helped her to sit, fluffed a pillow, and just insured she was comfortable before heading to the kitchen. She tried to stay awake, listen to the sounds from the kitchen and his humming, but sleep stole over her quickly. Roughly an hour later he woke her and they dined. She was happy.

X-X

A nice strong drink, Kaji really need one right about now. Weddings, he didn't understand them in the slightest. He was all about making a life long commitment to the man or woman of your choice, but the religious nightmare and expensive party after, not at all. Having to spend his day off watching a woman he hardly remembered get hitched to somebody he didn't know, and then watch their friends fawn about the idea was stupid. To make matters worse, Misato was fixated on it, Kaji would bet she was envisioning their wedding.

Thankfully the pain didn't last all night and rather than head back to the apartment, Misato felt like she wanted a drink. So, they walked from the reception hall to the closest bar, nice upscale place full of suits and gowns, and got a seat at the bar. Of course though, Misato had to call home to check on the girl that loathed him. "Look maybe she's sleeping or has her music on loud. Just because Shinji-kun is home and she's not answering doesn't mean the place is burning down," Kaji tried to calm the mother hen.

Foregoing the normal beer, Misato held her martini between her left thumb and forefinger. Phone to her ear, she quipped, "It's not like her to not have her phone though. Shinji-kun sounded a little down beat too, makes me wonder if something happened." Sipping her drink, her foot tapped impatiently as she continued to let the phone ring. "About time you answered the phone young lady," Misato all but shouted finally, "Why haven't you been answering?"

Knowing it would take some time for this little converstion to end, Kaji pushed his chair away from the bar. Pointing at the bathroom he mouthed, "Be right back." He could see several of the finely attired patrons eyeing Misato after her little outburst, and personally he didn't like being gawked at. Stuffing his hands into his pocket, wrapping his fingers around his pack of smokes, he contemplated heading out for a little nicotine break. That thought was shot right out of his head when he caught sight of a booth right by the men's room.

"Ritsuko?" Kaji said incredulously. Sure as shit, his ex-girlfriend was sitting in a booth in her shoulderless black evening gown, the one he always got an erection seeing her in. "Ritsuko!" he shouted louder over the din of the crowd, but the blond didn't react. How could she when she was holding a drink in one hand…and pinching the cheek of some strange man with the other.

Dating somebody else already? Kaji wouldn't have thought it possible, not with how odd she'd been at Nerv and surely Shinji would have said something. Jealousy wasn't Kaji's strong point, but he just didn't like the idea of somebody else with Ritsuko. He wanted her, but just had no idea of how to go about it. The more time passed, the more complacent he became, and the larger the task of trying became.

Did he talk to her and realize he had finally lost out on what he had considered the best thing in his life, or did he chicken out. The answer was forced upon him as Ritsuko knocked her own pack of tobacco on the ground, reached down for it, and their eyes met. Raising one hand up, "H-hey Ritsuko, h-how are you doing?" Smoothness was not on his skill sheet for the evening.

A healthy red flush adorning her cheeks, Ritsuko squinted for a moment and leaned forward before falling back into the booth with a laugh. "Ten-Tenchi wanna meet my old roommate?" Ritsuko covered her eyes with one hand and pointed at Kaji with the other. Her head wobbling about, "Order me an udder one too. One fo chu too."

Approaching the table, Kaji could see Ritsuko was well beyond blitzed at this point. Worry for her lurched deeply from within him, "Ritsuko, maybe you shouldn't have anymore." Turning to the man, Kaji balked at the gentleman, who didn't look old enough to be drinking alcohol. "Tenchi-kun, maybe you should take her home. She seems a bit," he caught himself from reaching for her as she teetered on the bench.

Scoffing at Kaji, Tenchi just hammered back on his beer, "Sorry man, but we're having a nice night out. Raiko here and I just started. That wedding was so boring that we left early." The man, gave Kaji a quick head flinch towards the bathroom signaling him to leave. "Two's company, threes a crowd you know," his heavy laden eyes turned to Ritsuko.

The little fucker just wanted to have a one night stand! Kaji wouldn't let some street punk just fuck Ritsuko and leave her! Bastard didn't even know her real name. "Look, I don't want to stick my nose in where it's not wanted, but…does the word non-consent mean anything to you?" If he had to beat the little fucker down, Kaji wouldn't mind blooding up his shirt. What really made Kaji worried was what if this type of thing happened before or again while he wasn't there to stop it.

"Oh fuck off Kaji," Ritsuko barked while reaching for her drink. "I know what this is, I want somebody to fuck, he wants somebody to fuck, so we're going to have some drinks and go back to my place and fuck. What is it not ok for me to not have sex after you got tired of dealing with me?" she was all but shouting now. Turning to Tenchi, her voice losing its power asked, "You don't mind an old woman in bed do you? I can teach you a few things that those younger girls can't even conceive of"

Feeling his body temperature rising, Kaji tugged at his collar. "That's not what happened Ritsuko, and you know it," he pleaded. Damn this wasn't how he wanted to talk to her. Her drunk at a bar with what she admitted was a one-night-stand, and him with Misato on the phone with Asuka. Perfect timing, never was going to get it was he. Trying to think of something to tell her to dissuade her from her actions, "W-what about Shinji-kun? That wouldn't be a very good thing to have him go through now would it? I know he's at the apartment too."

"Look buddy, she doesn't like you anymore, and we're both consenting adults. So why don't you just go back to whatever stall you came from and leave us alone, alright? Like the beautiful woman said, she wants what I have and same goes for me," the smugness of the man was quite unbecoming. The number of cans, seven in number, likely spoke to his confidence and lack of care.

Ritsuko however, the woman's eyes focused for a few moments through the haze of drink. "He would be there wouldn't he. Could call and ask him to stay at Ayanami's," if she was talking to anybody or herself it was to vague to know. "Tired of going to sleep alone…being alone…but he IS there isn't he," she nodded to herself. Finally turning back to Kaji, eyes back to glassy and hazy, "Just go Kaji, I know Misato is here somewhere. Wouldn't do you any good to see 'the old bitch' hitting on you or however you'd spin it. Just…just go."

"Not until you promise me you won't do something you'll regret," Kaji said instantly. When the punk tried to stand up to counter him, Kaji shoved the thin man back into the booth with excessive force. Taking a step back, Ritsuko's brow was thick with lines and anger emanated out of her. He just didn't want to see her hurt, "Is it worth it to possibly get pregnant from some guy who doesn't even know your name?"

Pounding the last of her current drink, she set it down gently, and smiled at Tenchi who was sitting back up. "Who said I'd regret it. Nothing really matters in the end. As for pregnancy, if it were to happen," she shrugged, "nothing I really have to worry about either." Shooing her hand at Kaji, Ritsuko put her other hand on Tenchi's to stay the man from making another go at Kaji in a show of alpha male.

Defeated, Kaji just sulked off to the bathroom, he could hear them laughing as he did. She was an adult, single, and very beautiful. It was only time before somebody got up the courage to try talking to 'the ice queen of Nerv' and take what he foolishly lost. But what could he say to her, everything that came to mind wouldn't work given the current situation. Taking his piss, he left the restroom to find their table empty, whatever Ritsuko was going to do…Kaji could only hope it wouldn't hurt her. Misato was still on the phone with Asuka when he sat back down, so he ordered a double. He wanted to get drunk, really drunk.

X-X

Authors Notes

Trying to make the relationships believable. People have fights, shit gets bad, but if you try it gets better. Sorry again for the delay in this chapter, but I'm getting my shit back together and back on my schedule of writing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to support it.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	18. Chapter 18

Standard Disclaimer

Man work was rough last few weeks. Big deployment and a lot of crisis management. Long hours do not allow for good writing time. But now that its deployed it should mean things calm down and I can get back to a stable schedule of things. Hope you're not to upset with the delays.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 18

With his hands in his pockets, Kaji hustled around the base in pursuit of Ritsuko. He had to find her, warn her of what he finally found in the deepest bowels of Nerv. After the wedding a few weeks ago and the disastrous encounter at the bar, he had all but avoided her. What love he had for her was strained, she had moved on and replaced him so he had little recourse. But after finding an angel in terminal dogma, meaning Nerv now had two angels on site, Kaji had to warn her.

Scanning the bridge, Kaji was reminded of the simple fact that Ritsuko rarely visited anybody up there anymore. Damn, how fucked up had things gotten now. Talk to Shinji about her? Not yet, Kaji didn't know what to say to that boy now. The girl he had tried setting him up with used to have a tank full of clones, and they had a 'hostage' in the basement, that would likely cause anybody to break.

"Maybe the lab," he mumbled headed to the only other place he could think of for her to be when the pilots weren't on base. Taking the elevator, Kaji tried to calm himself, but found it a tall order. Nerv had a damn giant staked to a bloody cross! The LCL was angelic blood and the children were breathing it in! Just what was Gendo planning, and unless Ritsuko was feeling extra nice he risked exposure. Watching the floors tick by he cringed, "Not like I can hack a computer."

Striking out the moment the door opened, Kaji nearly ran Maya to the floor. "Sorry Maya, didn't mean to startle you," he reached out to catch the stumbling woman. Grabbing her arm he asked, "Ritsuko in her lab? Something I need to talk to her about." If nothing else, Kaji was relieved that Maya was still Ritsuko's friend. The mousy girl was a little off at times, but he never doubted her intentions for his ex. Though she was hanging around Shinji a little too much when he was on base for his taste. Seeing hesitation in Maya's fidgeting glance, "It's important, Maya."

Shrugging off his hand, Maya took a defiant step back from Kaji. "She is, but not for long. The commander requested Katsuragi, Sempai, you, and oddly enough me to meet in his office in twenty. Guess I don't have to hunt you down now," Maya explained. Giving the man a queer eye, "Ryoji-kun, can I ask you something? Why did you do it? Sempai and you…" she paused and examined the floor, "No, it's not my place to ask."

He hadn't expected Maya to ask that question, the girl was too coy and shy to ask the big questions. Maya, in Kaji's opinion, was too meek a girl to ever really stand out. The type of girl you tell what to do and she did it, who followed her boyfriends orders to the fullest extent and feared if she couldn't, Maya was a doormat. Good girl though, just not Kaji's type, but she had been fun to tease when times were nicer. "I'll see you at the meeting then, Ibuki-chan," he winked as he walked past her not even caring if she took offense.

Finding Ritsuko where Maya had said she'd be, Kaji stood behind the glass partition for a moment just to watch her. Damn he missed her, her dry wit, her smile, her stupid movies, her smell, her touch, he missed all of her. But there wasn't anything he could do, not now anyway. With a deep breath and a clenched fist, he walked in, "Hey Ritsuko, got a minute to talk?" He prayed she didn't ignore him right out of the gate.

Without missing a beat, Ritsuko continued working but replied, "Bout time you stopped hiding outside the lab. What did you need, we're expected to see the Commander shortly." She didn't stop or even turn to acknowledge him, Ritsuko continued to hammer keys and take swigs from her mug without breaking her stride.

Shutting the door, Kaji pushed the button of his scrambler. Whether the device worked as he was promised it would or not, Kaji didn't know but it made him feel more at ease. Taking the seat to Ritsuko's left, he gave the screen a quick glance. Unit-03? Why was she reading the specs for that? "Nerv has an angel in its bowels, Ritsuko. Not the one I brought from the pacific fleet either, a full sized one. Big ugly white bitch with a mask and the lance in it, bleeding LCL," he spied the door expecting any moment section two would burst in and nab him.

To her credit, Ritsuko's hands paused and she slowly turned to look at Kaji. Something, some unreadable emotion crossed her face but faded back into dull shock. "That confirms a few things I've been speculating, and the unexpected alert I erased from the system this morning," she mouthed. Turning back to her work, hands resisting to move for a moment but then burst back into speed. A sigh later, "What will you do now? Have you told her about any of this or your side job?"

His shoulders slouched and his head fell forward in defeat. "No, I haven't told her any of it yet. I don't know how. She'd either slap me, shoot me, turn me into the commander, or help me. With her I just don't know how she'd react. I'm telling you because…" he didn't know really. For her safety maybe, to ease his conscious about the hack, or maybe just maybe he thought she'd be grateful for the heads up. "As for what I'm to do, I need to find out what Nerv, the Commander, is really planning. A-aside from that, h-how have you been?" he mentally grimaced at how that came out. Needy and forced, he had no right to ask but needed to know.

Checking the time on the computer, Ritsuko saved her document and shut it down. "Are you asking about me generally or about the night of the wedding? Yes I remember running into you at the bar," she stood and put her hands into her pockets. Flinching her head towards the door, "Lets get moving or we'll be late. Doubt Misato would be happy to see you coming in late with me in tow."

Another twist of the knife please, Kaji sunk deeper into his chair before forcing himself up and to move. Damn woman could be hard as balls when she wanted to be, a simple turn of phrase or comment cut through all the bluff and venire he had set up. "Are you two seeing each other now? Y-you didn't…does he get along with Shinji-kun?" if she was happy Kaji would be happy. Not like he could expect her to wait for him to sort his shit out, not when he was still fucking Misato. All they really had it seemed, Misato and him, they didn't go out, just work and fuck. They got along well and it was fun, but just didn't click in the way Ritsuko and he did.

Popping a sucker into her mouth, Ritsuko rolled her eyes as she increased her pace. "I said I remember seeing you at the bar, didn't say I remember much after that. I assume we had sex back at the apartment though. We made a big mess of the futon, but whoever he was he was gone by the time I woke up. Shinji didn't say much about it, but did clean the futon for me," Ritsuko sounded non-pulsed by the whole exchange, as if she was talking about the weather.

Noticing the odd glances the other staff was giving not only Ritsuko but himself as they walked, Kaji was growing worried. The woman at his side was talking openly about a one-night stand and how she was letting a teenager clean up the mess! If Ritsuko had at least said it softly or whispered it, Kaji wouldn't be so startled. "Did you talk to Shinji about that? Y-you haven't done it again have you?" Kaji didn't want to say it but, maybe Ritsuko needed help. She could be doing some real damage to Shinji mentally with the way she was acting.

Waiting for the elevator door to close, thankfully they were the only two in the cabin, Ritsuko just leaned against the wall. "Not much to tell him that he didn't already know. Shinji-kun's no virgin anymore, Soryu saw to that, and I was drunk so for all I know he joined in the fun," she took the green sucker out of her mouth and examined it. "He has taken your place on the couch for my movies too. Just need to get him to drink with me now, hell maybe I can teach him a few things about pleasing a woman, bet Soryu would like it," joking or not Ritsuko's lips curled up in a small smile.

"You're kidding right, Rits, please tell me you're not serious about that! S-Shinji-kun and you…" Kaji didn't know what to say. In the past he knew Ritsuko to tell some real off color jokes, her uncanny ability to say things without any hint of deception had Kaji thinking she should have been an actress instead at times. "I'm all for him watching movies with you, hell kid could use a drink to relax too I bet, but…please just tell me you're kidding," he pleaded.

Looking Kaji right in the eye, any warmth or affection she was capable of showing was absent. Cold and calculated orbs beset the spy, "What does it matter either way? Joking or serious, what would it really matter in the end? Nothing really matters, Kaji, we're all just delaying the end, holding out as long as we can till we die. Misato and you, Maya not visiting anymore, hell even whatever the hell Ayanami is, does any of that shit even really matter? Tell me that, does any of this trivial shit matter in the larger scheme of things" she dropped her candy on the ground and crushed it.

The door to the cabin opened, it was their floor, and Kaji had no answer. In light of all things, Ritsuko was making some small sense. With the angels attacking, the fate of humanity at stake, and now finding out Nerv had one big fucking secret, did it really matter who slept with who? "Just…" he started but found Ritsuko walking past him and towards the commander's office. Catching up to her, "Ritsuko, I know I don't have the right to ask this, not after what I did, but please don't make things worse by doing that."

In a rare glimpse of raw seething emotion, Ritsuko pounded her fist against the door to the commander's office. "Don't make things worse. So you're saying I shouldn't seek any succor at all? The only damn human that seems to care about me anymore, I should just let him spoil me until he grows tired of me too then? You're right Kaji, you don't have the right to ask that," her whole body trembled as she glared pure hate at Kaji. "You have no idea what my life has become, but you feel it alright to dictate what I can and can't do, how nice for you," and just like that the mask of calm was back on Ritsuko's face.

He let Ritsuko go in first and waited a few moments, just in case Misato was already in the room. It sickened him, but he didn't want Misato to get the wrong idea, how pathetic of him. Just how had things degraded so far while he wasn't watching, while he planned to make it better but did nothing? After his few moments of cover, Kaji walked into the office and shut the door behind him. Sure enough Misato was waving at him with a smile that said she didn't have a care in the world. God he envied her for that. World was going to shit around her and yet Misato seemed oblivious to it all. What did startle the spy was the unexpected addition of one Ayanami Rei in the meeting.

Seated behind his gargantuan desk, Gendo adjusted his glasses with his gloved hands and grunted. "Now that you're all here, we can begin," Gendo appeared to be looking at Kaji as if upset for wasting time. "Due to the unfortunate events that transpired when the Magi were infected, certain facts were brought to light regarding some of Nerv's projects," Gendo gestured to the seated Rei.

Maya, being the only one to not see the tank of Rei's or be told of it, looked puzzled. "Sir, what are you talking about?" she asked dumbly breaking the man's discourse. "Sempai?" Maya turned when Ritsuko touched her shoulder and shook her head no.

Rapping his knuckle on his desk, Gendo recaptured the flow of the conversion. "Speak to Akagi after the meeting Ibuki, do not interrupt again," Gendo wasn't showing much patience or leniency at the moment. "The bodies you saw were created in an attempt so insure Pilot Ayanami would not need fear injury while piloting as a stock of blood and organs would be available in case of internal injuries," he claimed.

Kaji didn't believe a word of it, not a single fucking syllable. Rei had been hurt before and nobody brought up a spare body to 'fix' her with. No, Gendo was lying out through his teeth, and expectedly so. No matter what the bastard said, nobody was going to believe it so the prick was just paying them a head service to gloss it over. "Was that all you need to tell us sir?" Kaji could hope it was.

"No," Gendo destroyed Kaji's small hopes in that one word. "Due to the fact that we have lost the facility and Fuyutski's heart attack, and with the American's sending us Unit-03, things will be changing. For starters, Pilot Ayanami is no longer going to be on the active pilot roster," Misato seemed to be about to speak, but Gendo raised his hand. "The forth child has already been chosen to take her spot, and assuming the child accepts the role, he shall be testing Unit-03 and 00 shortly. You will find all pertinent data has been sent to your email accounts for evaluation, that is all," Gendo waved his hand dismissively at the troop.

Wanting to ask about it, ask why now was Rei so damn vital that she couldn't be expected to pilot like the others, Kaji took a step forward. Misato's hand on his side stopped him, she just did what Ritsuko did earlier, shook her head and pointed at the door. Damn it! Shinji and Asuka were still going to pilot and they didn't have a tank of fucking clones just get destroyed, but why was Rei so damn special? Well Kaji had his next mission now, find out just what the hell Rei was, and what Gendo had planned for her. Man never did anything without a reason, it was time to find out what that reason was.

X-X

Walking out of the principles office, Touji's mind and body were hazy and light. He was going to be a pilot, just like Shinji. While his sister got better care, what did it mean for him though? Having seen first hand a mental breakdown of a pilot, the jock knew it wasn't some simple or easy task. It terrified him, despite the persona he liked to exude, Touji was quite the pacifist. Fighting monsters to protect mankind, having all of mankind's fate on his shoulders…he needed to talk to Shinji about it.

On uneasy and watery legs, he returned to the classroom just in time for Hikari to be dismissing the students for the day. Hikari, could he ask her out knowing he could die at any time now, would he even have time for dating now? He got his answer as Asuka practically leapt out of her chair and made a beeline towards Shinji. Last few weeks had been endless fuel in teasing his buddy, Touji realized. Though up until the last few days Asuka had reverted to the devil persona she had initially garnered. "Whatever Shin-man did yesterday knocked the bitch out of her," he chuckled as he headed to his chair.

"A-Asuka-chan I thought you said you were going to go to the base to talk to Misato-san," Shinji's squeamish voice echoed through the room.

Touji just listened to the newlyweds as he packed his bag, hopefully this little early departure of 'Big-Red' would allow him time to chat with Shinji. Unable to resist taking a quick look, Touji got a full on view of Asuka grabbing Shinji's chin and pulling him in for a big ol' show of public affection. Defiantly something to ask about once the girl was gone, Shinji must have really gave it to the girl to turn her from sullen and angry to going all 'kissy-face' in public.

After she let the boy go, and affectionately patting his head, "I am, just wanted to thank you. I've been a bitch the last few days, and after last night…" She just smiled and ruffled his hair harder. "Well let's just say you gave me the confidence to bring this up now. Going to go tell Misato about all this," scratching the bottom of his chin, Asuka left with a wave, Shinji was noticeably dazed.

Well no time like the present, thankfully Kensuke wasn't here today to make it more complicated, he reasoned. Slinging his satchel over his shoulder, the enormity of what he had agreed to still hadn't really sunk in yet. "Yo earth to Shin-man, you still there?" he teased with a cheeky grin. Following Shinji's eyes to Asuka's departing form, Touji had to admit she had a damn fine ass. Rapping Shinji's head lightly, "Man-meat stop fawning over your girlfriend and get up. I need to talk to you a little."

As Shinji shook his head clear of whatever magic Asuka cast on his mind with the kiss, he was preempted bye one Hikari Hokari. "Suzuhara-kun! It's your turn to take Ayanami her print-outs today," she announced as she handed the papers over his shoulder to him. Leaning back, a small pink hue in her cheeks, "Is she sick or something Ikari-kun? She's been out for a few days."

"Ah class-rep, can't Shinji take them? He lives right next to her anyway!" Touji whined. He hadn't planned on delaying to long. Just a quick talk to Shinji about things and then off to the hospital to tell Mari about the change. If nothing else she'd get better, maybe ask Shinji to look after her if something bad did happen to him. Not like he could trust his father or grandfather, selfish bastards. Finding Hikari standing just a little to close for his expectations the suddenly childishness of his uncertain emotions kicked in, "N-need something else?"

Whatever caused her flush to appear it drained quickly. Hands to her hips, Hikari twisted her head and pointed her nose up in the air. Eyes closed and sounding quite high and mighty, "You can't just push your responsibilities off on others. This is YOUR task today, no matter what reason they had to call you to the office for. So no pushing it off on Ikari-kun. He's enough to do keeping Asuka's spirits up lately."

Waving his hands quickly and dismissively, Shinji's own good mood vanished thanks to Hikari's little verbal slip. "It's alright Touji, we-we can go together alright?" giving Hikari a momentary baleful glare, Shinji did not like having private news opened for others to hear. Gathering his meager belongings, the lad was quick to his feet, "You said you needed to talk to me right, we can talk on the way."

Trouble in paradise or just Shinji's attempt to keep Asuka's image pure, Touji didn't know but he was willing to let it slide. "Guess you're right," sliding the papers into his own satchel he gave Hikari an indignant wave as they walked past her. Doing his best to sound upset, Hikari could rub him the wrong way so it was easy, "Girl has a stick up her ass that somebody needs to pull out. I'd say the same for Soryu lately, but it seems you stuck another stick in rather than taking one out." Crass joke yes, but it got results, Shinji sputtered and became flustered.

"Asuka-chan's been having issues with Misato-san lately, and I've told you before how close those two are," Shinji said mutely. Fixing his bag onto the other shoulder, Shinji stepped out of the way of a gaggle of girls walking the other way. "So what did you need to talk to me about? You didn't get caught with photos again did you? Asuka-chan said she'd have to break the camera if she learned you got pictures of us again," Shinji warned.

Turning around, Touji gave the girls that just walked past an eye over. Yup, just as he was expecting, they were checking Shinji out. How Shinji didn't notice the sudden increase in his popularity, Touji would always wonder. 'Or maybe he knows, but doesn't care. He does seem smitten with Red.' Roping an arm around Shinji's next, Touji found his courage lacking all of the sudden. "Wondering about Ayanami and you really. You two seem chummy, wondering if you could give me any pointers. Getting a girl to like you but not in THAT way," he called himself a coward in his mind.

Brushing Touji's arm off, Shinji scowled and shook his head. "I've told you both time and time again, Touji, Rei-san is just a friend. We didn't just decide one day to be, it took time and shared interests," Shinji looked away for a moment, something threatened to spill out but didn't. Blinking rapidly, Shinji turned back to Touji with a accusatory stare, "You haven't asked about Rei-san in a long time to…so why don't you tell me the truth?"

Walking past more students, the jock finally paid them actual attention. They were happy, most anyway, in their carefree lives. Content to let Nerv and the pilots worry about the big stuff, he had been like them until an hour ago. "How about we wait a little longer, alright Shinji? I…I'm not quite ready to talk about it. It's something important. Glad Red didn't take you with her, hell I guess I'm glad I have to go to Ayanami's too," it gave him time to stall and try and rethink what he wanted to say.

Nodding to that, Shinji was content to let the sound of those around them fill the air. Kids bustled around them, cars honked, and the sounds of people going about life droned on. As they neared the apartment however, a full ten minutes of silence later, something prompted Shinji to talk. Uneasily he prompted, "This about something you don't want ME to know? Girl issue maybe?"

Was that fear in Shinji's voice? What did Shinji have to fear in the girl department, with a hottie like Asuka clearly happy with him? Derailed on his thought process by Shinji's little woman comment, Touji didn't know exactly how to answer. As they made their way up the steps of the apartment complex, "N-no Shin-man not girl issues, well unless you're aiming to add Hikari to your harem along with Red and Blue." Shinji HAD to feel something for Ayanami, Touji refused to see it any other way. But it begged the question, "Why do you ask that?"

Wiping some sweat from his brow, the humidity was quite high, Shinji's shoulders relaxed as his face brightened. "It's stupid, I had this dream that Asuka-chan and you…" he just shook his head. "You would tell me if you two were seeing each other behind my back right?" Shinji asked just a little to worriedly.

His hand paused at the handle to the floor exit, Touji almost felt giddy at the idea. Would he bang Soryu? Hell yes he would, but would he do it at the cost of Shinji's friendship? Hell no! Touji was a firm believer of friends being honest. "Shin-man, if something were going on between Soryu and me, I'd be telling you before it happened. No buddy of mine is going to have some two timing whore," he flexed his biceps and clamped down on it. As the neared Ayanami's door, Touji felt a sense of camaraderie that helped guide his confidence, Shinji worried about loosing Asuka! Kid came a damn long way from the wet rat Touji had first met those months ago. "Anyway, about what I wanted to tell you," he started but found Shinji running suddenly.

"Her door is open, she hasn't done this in ages. Stupid! Why didn't I come home this morning," Shinji swore as he rushed to the door and pushed it open. Standing at the threshold, Shinji just looked in with his hand on the frame. Without looking over at Touji he added, "I actually did spend the night at Asuka's place. Ritsuko-san's been working late last few days, she said Misato-san was too. So with her feeling so down I thought I could try cheering her up. Well we helped cheer each other up," he swallowed hard, "I haven't seen Rei-san in two days. Not since the day Ritsuko-san started working late."

Ritsuko, yeah that was Shinji's guardian and the chick that offered him the job today, Touji finally put two and two together. "Hey, Shin-man, about that Ritsuko chick. I saw her at school today…she offered to make me a pilot in exchange for letting Mari into one of Nerv's hospitals," there he said it! Shinji though, Shinji didn't seem to hear or even care. But since he started, Touji let the floodgates open, "Look man, I'm sorry but that lady you live with was fucking scary today, she looked like a zombie or some shit." Still Shinji just stood in the doorway, "Yo man you hearing me?"

Slowly, Shinji shifted and Touji wished the boy hadn't, as Shinji looked as if he was about to break into pieces. "I-I heard you…g-good for M-Mari-chan," he stammered as he turned back to that dark apartment door. "W-when do you start?" Shinji took the first reluctant step into the unit.

Following close behind, Touji was started to worry himself and not about Rei but Shinji. "Tomorrow, some trial outside the city or some shit, I don't really know. What's got you so spooked man," looking about Ayanami's apartment it didn't look that bad. It was very empty, but damn the deeper he got into the place the more it started to stink. Gagging as they neared the bedrooms, "Shit man what is that stench, like somebody took a piss on the floor or something."

Throwing Rei's bedroom door open, Shinji recoiled back as a wall of stench flowed out of it. "Rei-san!" Shinji yelped as he ran into the room. Coming out a few moments later, a very awake but pungent Rei in his arms, "What happened Rei-san, why are you…why were you laying like that?"

Now Touji had watched some odd things before, movies and internet video's that Kensuke had sent him before, but this was new. "S-she alright?" Touji asked stupidly pointing at the girl in Shinji's arms. Clad in nothing but her undergarments, Rei just clung to Shinji like a life preserver and dripped on the floor, apparently Rei had been laying in her own urine for some time having not left her bed.

Weakly, Rei held her hands around Shinji's neck and just repeated, "He took my purpose away. I'm not a pilot…my bond. I am nothing…no purpose."

Pulling Rei closer against him, Shinji looked pleadingly at Touji for help. "Get the door to the bathroom. Going to give her a bath, going to stay with her to get her to tell me what happened. Touji?" Shinji's eyes were shocked as Touji took a frightened step away from him. "Touji, Rei-san needs our help. B-being a pilot means a lot to her, just like Asuka-chan, but she's saying she's not one anymore. Touji!" Shinji demanded his friend's attention.

He couldn't do it, the girl looked beyond hurt she looked broken. The stench was to much, the devoid look on her face, it haunted him! "I…I can't," Touji turned, ran, and prayed Shinji didn't call after him. The shock was to much, was that what happened to all pilots in the end? And now he was one…was that his future too?

X-X

Secrets upon secrets, Misato vowed to delve into them and uncover exactly what Nerv was hiding from not only her but the populace at large. Kaji's little news bomb after the clone incident opened Misato's eyes to just how blind she had been. And it also gave her an inroad to her work, she had higher clearance based on rank. What she had found so far wasn't quite shocking, but nothing groundbreaking, nothing that put Asuka at risk.

"Just what are you hiding, Ikari, what makes Ayanami so special," she groaned as she opened a few more files. Not being the most skilled hacker, or very adept at computer usage as a whole, Misato brazenly went about her way. What could Nerv do to her though, she was a public figure thanks to the Fuyutski fiasco and the one that came up with all the plans. Scrolling down some of Rei's past history she leaned on her hand, "No family, no history at all really. Was there ever really an original or did she just come from here?"

Would make some sick sense, Misato never did really like Ritsuko's mother, woman gave off one hell of a bad vibe. "Leave it to that freak to make a little kid, but for what purpose?" that was the tricky part Misato couldn't, or wouldn't, speculate on. To many options and all of them bad, not least on her list was she was made FOR Fuyutski. Moving Rei's file to the side, she started working on the oh-so-sudden discovery of the Forth Child.

Tapping her finger on the left mouse button, Misato chewed in the inside of her mouth for a moment. Grunting, the smell of stale coffee permeating her nose in her tiny office, "Coincidences like this just don't happen. He's found that boy when Ayanami was put at risk. And this business of taking Unit-00 and the new 03?" She didn't like it at all, but what could she do. The idea of bringing Kaji in on some of her finds was tempting, but he knew a little too much already and that brought a new concern to the table. What if the man she loved wasn't being very truthful with her? Kaji just knew to much when he shouldn't, but that would mean…a spy?

"We need to talk," Asuka announced her presence by stating and wrapping her arms around Misato's neck playfully. A hint of remorse in her voice, her left earphone fell out and dangled on Misato's breast, "We've not talked much lately, and I feel partially to blame. You up for…" Asuka's hands fell to the side and just as quick as she added her heat to Misato's body she pulled it away. "The hell? Status revoked…and HE'S the replacement?" Asuka balked at her little bout of screen reading.

Turning around quickly, Misato made a point to shut off her monitor as she moved. "Damn it Asuka!" she barked, "I told you to knock before coming in my office!" More upset with herself for not hearing the open and close of the door, Misato had to take her anger out on something. Her fury quelled upon noticing how upset her quasi-daughter was, "That is sensitive information, I'll get in trouble if you know it to soon." A lame excuse but not an untrue one, the official announcement was set for tomorrow after the tests.

Stalking about the small confines of the office, Asuka's attitude shifted diametrically. "But her whole life has been Eva, just like mine, and she's just one day for not reason cut off?" Asuka's hands jostled about with a frantic energy. "Is that going to happen to me, Misato? One day Nerv just says 'sorry but we don't want you anymore'?" a subtle terror started to settle in. Spinning on the balls of her feet, "And you're making that sexist idiot a pilot? I won't lie and say Ayanami is a friend, I tried to be but she wanted none of it, but she deserves more than to be tossed out like a piece of toilet paper."

Asuka was smart, Misato knew that, but the girl was also just a teenager and full of emotions and hormones that would cause problematic issues to arise if she knew to much. Could Asuka be trusted to know the truth about Ayanami, Misato hedged her bet. "Look, Asuka, I didn't want you to find out this way. Hell I would rather I didn't know it either to be honest, but…but something is unnatural about Ayanami," Misato would trust her girl. "This whole mess started a few weeks back when that angel attacked the computers…" Misato went into a brief account of the event. She told of the tank, what happened to them, and how Fuyutski was responsible.

To her credit, Asuka did not vomit but she covered her mouth with one hand and her stomach with the other. "You're saying that Ayanami is a clone and this place had tanks of her? D-do they have tanks of Shinji and me?" Asuka wobbled on uneasy legs. Pulling one of Misato's spare chairs out the teen didn't sit but fell into it. Shaking her head, her mighty red tresses swaying, "This is NOT why I came here today. Not at all, and I doesn't really answer WHY she's off the roster! D-Does Shinji know about it?"

Knowing the feeling Asuka was radiating, Misato discreetly force shutdown her computer. How long she had been spacing out thinking about things before Asuka stunned her, Misato didn't want to know. But addressing the girl's question, "No, hardly anybody at Nerv does and nobody knows why the commander pulled her. The Commander, Kaji, myself, maybe Ritsuko, possibly Ayanami herself, and now you know about this little violation of human decency. Won't tell anybody will you?" Misato tensed as Asuka's mouth opened wide in astonishment. Adding fuel to the fire, "Word gets out on this, think of what it would do?"

Arms crossed, Asuka looked away indignantly, "I'm telling Shinji, of all of us he has the right to know. After all he's been through thanks to that girl, he has the right to know she's some freak." Her head crested and lulled down, "No, not a freak. She didn't ask for it, didn't ask for a lot of things. Guess I can see why Shin-chan goes out of his way sometimes to help her. Nobody else here seems to," she shared a look of co-shame with Misato. "When does Wondergirl learn she's been replaced with ape-boy?" Asuka popped her earbuds back in.

"She was informed in a meeting two days ago, when we got the news of Unit-03 being brought over here," Misato tugged on her collar. Rei had seemed to take it well, not that Misato had paid much attention to her. Asuka was right, only Shinji showed any outward caring for the girl, the commander was speculative. With a weak smile, Misato reached out and ruffled Asuka's hair, "So what DID you want to talk to me today? We haven't been on the best of terms since…since Kaji moved in." It was damn hard to be in her position though, Misato felt she loved Kaji and knew she wished she was Asuka's real mother. Why couldn't the three of them be happy together?

Still showing signs of shellshock, Asuka rocked in her chair as secret fears and concerns invaded her psyche. Rolling up the volume on her headset, she heaved a massive sigh and closed her eyes. "You're office smells bad. Smells like your room before Shin-chan cleans it, which he did yesterday," she opened one accusatory eye. Leaning back, taking her flimsy chair off its front two legs, "He made me promise, that if he cleaned the room, I'd talk to you about Ryoji-kun. Well I agreed after he spiced up the deal." A faint blush adorned her stoic features.

So Shinji learned that Asuka could be swayed using 'that', Misato didn't think Asuka would have let that alter her judgment. Or maybe Asuka was tricking her beau into thinking he was getting her to act when Asuka actually had plans herself. "So we're finally going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Misato sniffed the air and damned if she couldn't now smell a hint of musk. It had happened the day before, Kaji had been all in a huff about something and Misato needed some relaxant too with all the work regarding Unit-03. It wasn't a much, but it was something. Hoping this was the olive branch she wanted, "So, what about Kaji are we going to talk about?"

With a loud metallic click, Asuka fell back forward and let her chair slam on the ground. A bitter smile, reluctant and unabashed as she was capable, "I don't like him. I see how he looks at that Akagi woman and just know he's planning something. I don't like how you changed since you started seeing him again. You weren't so…we did things together, but now it's just…work, meals, and when you're about to go to bed with him. What happened to the fun loving but restrained Misato that years ago forced me to bathe with her to 'form bonds of friendship'?" Asuka reached her hand out openly to Misato.

She remembered that! Misato thought Asuka was too young to recall one of her first real attempts to befriend the depressed and narcissist child. Tentatively reaching out, Misato grasped Asuka's hand, firm and strong as always, and held it. "I've not changed neigh as much as you did little girl. Whatever Shinji-kun is doing to you, you're positively glowing and you've blown away just about all your old records," praising Asuka didn't get that pained look to leave the girl's face though. Damn, Misato hoped it would like it used to, "How about we set aside some time from now on for a little…mother and daughter time." There she said it, the offer was on the table, knowing Asuka's issues with her own mother, she feared claiming the word.

Her hand went slack for a moment, but only a moment, before Asuka yanked Misato off her feet and into a bear hug. "Stupid, stupid, you can't just spring that on me," Asuka buried her face against Misato's chest. After several tense moments of odd murmurings, the teen relaxed her grip. Collecting a sole tear from her eyes, "I'll be expecting a full day of time at least once a month, and maybe I can try tolerating your man if he swears he isn't going to go running off to that Akagi woman."

Petting Asuka's head, Misato's heart swelled, Asuka hadn't pushed off or raged against her. "I'm sure he's over Ritsuko, so you don't have to be my protector anymore. And I'll try not to dote on him as much," she had neglected her time with Asuka hadn't she. Feeling more emotional herself, "No more issues for today?"

Kaji, walking into the office as if it were his own, "Hey Misato, got a moment? I got a troubling call from Shinji-kun a few…I interrupt something?" The man had been smacking his phone against one hand with a pensive look about him, but came to a sudden halt upon seeing the view before him

"What is it about, Kaji?" she asked without hesitation. Without thinking, Misato released her hug on Asuka and headed to Kaji, knowing exactly two seconds after that she had just done one of the stupidest things in her life. Moments after telling her 'daughter' that she wouldn't dote on Kaji and give her more time, a girl Misato knew had trust issues, she ditches her for said man. Turning back to Asuka, the girl's head tilted forward, bangs covering her eyes, Misato saw twin fists violently twitching.

Then in an instant, Asuka's body calmed, eyes bright as star light, she flung her hair over her shoulder and headed past Kaji without so much as noticing him. "Don't keep her waiting, Ryoji-kun. You're what's most important it seems," and with that Asuka left the room and the adults in her wake.

"Oh this isn't good…I have no idea how much I'll have to work to fix what I just did," Misato felt her legs go weak. Kaji had to catch her before she hit the ground. Moments after making one of the most important connections in her life, Misato spit in the face of logic. Being helped into her chair, Misato didn't want to see Kaji right now, but the damage was done. Grunting, "So what is this call about?" After hearing Kaji's second hand account of Shinji's call, Misato was left more worried about Asuka than Rei. How would her girl take it if Gendo just up and said she wasn't a pilot, Ayanami's reaction wasn't all that stunning as to what Asuka was capable.

X-X

When Maya woke up that morning with a hangover she knew it wasn't going to be the greatest day, it quickly got worse. Her head felt like it was full of man eating ants all thanks to wanting to avoid thinking about the growing problem in her mind, Ritsuko. She still respected and held the scientist in high adulation, only problem was the brilliant mind was showing signs of strain and fracture. What did Maya do or say to that? So rather than think about Kaji's question on whether Maya thought Ritsuko capable of 'doing something with Shinji', she went out drinking with the other techs.

Drinking was something she did very seldom thanks to the negative emotions it brought out of her. But she wasn't going out with her closer friends, so no harm right? Well of course one of the guys hit on her hoping for a quick score no doubt, but before she could turn the man down Makoto did it for her! She hadn't even known the bastard was there and yet he came to her defense, not that it was needed. Her mood shattered, Maya hit the bottle harder and blacked out. Thankfully her bed was empty when she woke and she didn't as if she was fucked and ran from.

Her day off, with Misato and Ritsuko off doing the tests offsite she had nothing to do, Maya had every intention of not moving or thinking. Not think about Makoto, not think about the news about the tank at Nerv, and not thinking about Ritsuko. Did she think the woman would try something sexual with Shinji, not at all. But something about the woman worried Maya, just the unhinged and lack of care. And Maya did NOT want to think of that kiss either, best to leave it to Ritsuko's word on that.

Standing bleary eyed before the monitors in the command deck, Unit-02 and 01 prepped and ready to intercept the angel, Maya felt like curses. Her legs wobbled under the combined attack of fatigue and dehydration, "Unit-02, you're moving outside of your designated area. You're supposed to be closer to the target not Ikari-kun." Damn Maya wished somebody with better tactical sense was leading, she couldn't do it.

"We don't know what the angel is let along the condition of the test base. I am NOT going to let this thing get the jump on me like the Seventh did. Why divide ourselves?" Asuka shot back. The command deck all looked at one another confused at the sudden team playing Soryu. Her voice came through the speaker loudly, "Either I'm coming back for Shin-chan to cover my ass, or he's coming up here to get a better look at it."

A few muffled laughs were heard at the double entendre, but the jovial air in the room died as the commander's door opened and the man strode out. "You are to follow orders, Second-Child, and those were to engage where you are told. We are down one unit due to the incident at the test site. It is unknown what course the angel will take to get here, so maximum coverage is necessary," the man brutishly ordered.

Not wanting to look at the intimidating man, bloodshot eyes did not embolden confidence in ones peers, Maya shifted away from Gendo and to her consoles. Shinji's readings were spiking wonderfully, but despite Maya's earlier liking of it, Asuka's were starting to dip lower and lower. "You h-heard the commander, Asuka, stay the course. Once we know things better we'll-we'll move Ikari-kun to your position or you back," but judging from the commander's face that might not be true.

Cutting through the chatter, and preventing Asuka from digging a deeper hole, Shinji's voice lanced the thick atmosphere. "Are we even sure it's an angel attack? Maybe…maybe the unit just went berserk and damaged the communication line or something?" to any that heard the comment it was forced and all for Asuka's benefit.

"Bullshit, Puppy-kun, bullshit! We wouldn't be here like this if it was just some accident. They KNOW something is coming, they have too! Things are working just a little to easily for this to be unexpected. Ask yourself why was Ayanami taken off duty AND her unit moved away? To prevent her from helping if something were to happen. Now trust me, and get your butt over here! I forgave your for yesterday and you said you owed me one, and I'm collecting now," Asuka almost came across as joking.

Commander Ikari however wasn't in the mood for accommodating the German, "Cut off her comm. channel until contact with target is made. Third Child you are to remain in position."

Maya would have thought Shinji would do as he was told, boy was she in for a shock at the readings. "C-Commander, Unit-01 is moving from position and on an intercept course for Unit-02," she said reverently. Finally Shinji was snapping the cords his father had placed on him, good for him. As upset as she thought she should be for the teen breaking orders, she was proud of him. Over the months of talking and interacting with the man, she did consider him a man, his father was the big stopping point Maya saw in Shinji's life. Trying to not sound accepting, "C-Commander, what are your orders?"

The whole bridge was watching Gendo as the man adjusted his glasses. "We don't have time for hormones to ruin a mission. Activate the Dummy System and after increase pressure in the plug," no remorse or emotion accompanied the order.

"O-Ok sir," Maya was to surprised to say anything else. The system was untested and hardly known to anybody save Ritsuko, and the commander wanted it used? Opening a channel to Shinji, "S-sorry Ikari-kun, but I don't have a choice. I-I agree with you though." Hollow words but true, she still felt like vomiting. Doing as the commander ordered, Maya activated the system and waited for the fallout.

None came.

Statically, Shinji asked near mockingly, "Was something supposed to happen Ibuki-san? Something started whirring up but stopped. I'll be meeting Asuka-chan in a few moments. I owe her this for letting me help Ayanami yesterday, not that _THE COMMANDER_ cares." Shinji shut off his comm. leaving the bridge crew only video feed from the units and a few report drones to gage the battle.

Showing more emotion than ever seen in the man, Gendo slammed his fists down on the console before him. "Do not disobey me Third Child! Follow your orders! Ibuki!" Gendo turned angrily towards the young tech. "What is wrong with the Dummy System! Why hasn't it taken control of Unit-01?" he advanced upon the woman hunched over and flexing his fists.

Reading the numerous error reports spilling out of the system, Maya tore the sheet off and held it before her like a shield. "U-Unit-01 is rejecting the signal, s-something about incompatibility. Ritsuko-san was the expert, n-not me," Maya trembled before the tyrant approaching her. This was why she hated most men, if they couldn't control it they lashed out angrily. It was why she liked _him_ so much, it was never anger or violence unless it was a last resort.

As Gendo tore the paper from Maya's hands, Shigeru shouted for calm. "They've engaged the target! Unit-02 is laying suppression fire as Unit-01 is flanking it, it appears to be Unit-03 but the readings are all wrong. Orders?" Shigeru asked the whole deck.

"Designate it an angel, open channels to both units and order them to destroy it!" Gendo reigned in his frustration. Calmly folding the paper in half, he stuck it inside his jacket pocket. "The pilot of Unit-03 is expendable, salvage of the unit is also low priority," once again the veneer of total calm was in place.

"Sorry commander," it was Shinji who answered first, "But we say save the pilot first."

Asuka chimed in shortly after with, "You owe me again for this, Puppy-kun, he's your friend not mine. And I do NOT like taking the punches for you."

Maya listened to Shigeru's recounting of the battle. Asuka kept the angel occupied as Shinji surprised it from behind and pressed it to the ground. With the unit immobilized, Unit-02 recovered the entry plug and just as the angel threw Unit-01 off drove her blade through its core, mission complete. Damn Maya was proud of that man, he saved the pilot, took charge…not like the others. It was a damn shame what she heard next…and she wasn't brave enough to contradict orders.

"Ibuki, increase pressure to Unit-01's plug. For violation of direct orders, the Third Child is under administrative detention until further notice. Solitary confinement," Gendo walked out without another word, Rei was held by the arm and guided along with him.

X-X

Lying in her hospital bed, Ritsuko examined the ceiling tiles with loathing. Something about the pattern on them annoyed the scientist, they were mismatched and she hated it. Her nurse had told her she had at least two more days of observation for her wounds before she'd be allowed to leave, unlike Misato who was already gone. Fitting, Misato always got off easy, seemed fate just didn't want to hurt the bitch like it did Ritsuko.

Using her left hand, the right encased in a cast just in case, she hit the switch to elevate herself into a seated position. "Wouldn't be to bad if anybody actually visited. Three days of solitude and I'm already like this, to think I've become spoiled," she ruefully smiled at the events. Before Kaji she had been a being of solo existence, now after Kaji she actually wanted SOME human contact. Turning the television on, a report about Unit-03 was being played, "Would have thought Maya or Shinji would have come to visit."

Peeking her head through the door, Maya held a bouquet of flowers and a weak smile. "I've been drowning in paperwork, your paperwork," the tech confessed. Setting the flowers by Ritsuko's bed, Maya took up the only chair, "Been waiting outside your room for awhile now. Didn't want to wake you if you were sleeping."

Plucking the card out with the two fingers that didn't hurt to use, Ritsuko fought to keep the smile off her face. Damn weakness, damn feelings! She didn't want to feel anymore, but here she was getting misty eyed in her none eye patched right eye. Reading the names, Ritsuko instantly noticed Shinji's handwriting was off, "So what has been going on while I'm slacking off from my duties?"

"A lot of tests on the Suzuhara boy mostly. He came out of the ordeal unharmed physically, but Ryoji is worried he was contaminated some how by the angel," Maya flittered about arranging the flowers. A forced chuckle she added, "And cleaning up the mess Soryu made carving into Unit-03, which has been dismantled now."

Never try and trick a trickster, Ritsuko had learned that the hard way with Kaji but Maya was no master spy. The girl was hiding something, more than one Ritsuko would guess. Did Maya suspect her of something wicked like Kaji had? The fuck was Ritsuko to do huh? She wasn't going to have sex with Shinji, kill herself, or anything stupid, but everybody was giving her a wide berth as if she was a volatile chemical.

Putting the card back by the vase, Ritsuko depressed the button to give herself the next dose of painkillers. "You've got a nervous tick, Maya," Ritsuko's eyebrow raised tellingly, "Whenever you're trying to hide something your hands fidget. So why not just out and say what you want. Not like I can do anything to you in this condition." Strapped into the bed at the waist, she wasn't hurt more than a few bad bruises and a couple broken fingers, but she was immobilized.

Actually pulling a flower head off in shock, Maya gasped loudly, "I-uh-well." After a moment of silence, Maya daintily put her hands in her lap. Belabored Maya crumbled upon herself, "Ikari-kun has been put in solitary confinement following the battle. The Commander wanted him punished for disobeying orders and assisting Soryu in the battle. At first he ordered the Dummy System, but when that failed…" Maya's words started running over each other, an avalanche of repressed bitterness. "I'm so sorry Sempai, I know its nothing…but Ryoji-kun asked me if I thought you might be a risk to him and…" Maya's eyes were streaming tears.

Hardly able to place the order of events from Maya's broken dialogue, Ritsuko just turned her head back towards the television. "Go clean yourself up, Maya, you look like a damn fool with your makeup streaking," she interjected lazily. So Maya thought she cracked to then, it seemed. If the part about 'being a risk to him' was referring to Shinji. Hearing the chair screech against the linoleum, Ritsuko could put that fear to bed at least, "And know I wouldn't hurt Shinji, emotionally or physically. Nothing may really matter, but that means I can treat him how I want. And until recently I only had you and him. I'll treat the only one I have left now as good as I can."

"But I…Sempai I'm…" Maya stammered but didn't continue, she just walked out of the room and didn't come back. Ritsuko didn't mind, it didn't matter. Nothing really did, not anymore.

X-X

Authors Notes

Yes it is getting darker, but it won't all be dark. Peaks and valleys. Hope the changed events of Unit-03's encounter are believable from the new stand point as well as Rei's breakdown. I just feel that given Rei's history in this story, a life of being told one thing only to learn later it's a lie would take its toll, then take away the one thing she has been told by one of her most trusted people that her reason is gone…well even Rei can snap I feel.

Well you'll let me know if you agree/disagree I hope.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	19. Chapter 19

Standard Disclaimer

Round and round the cycle of writing goes where it stops…anybody paying attention knows. Yup, back to top of the order with Chances, getting to the part of Eva now where things hit the fan and the bottom falls out, aka its going to get messy. On a side note the pool opens this week making me one happy camper. Hope you all get a chance to hit up some swimming.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 19

As consciousness beset the young doctor, Ritsuko fought her best to keep it at bay. Being awake wasn't a fun thing, hell sobriety wasn't that much better. But her medical leave for her broken arm ended today a whole three days since the accident with Unit-03. The wonderful wave of painkillers and alcohol, stupid doctors said it was a bad idea to mix them, had to end. Rubbing at her eyes, she had a burning sensation in her throat, the tall-tell sign she had vomited during her blackout period the night before.

Moving to sit up, Ritsuko felt a jarring pain in her abdomen, and fell back down on her back. "Oh, guess I got lonely last night too," she chuckled. A quick peek at the source of the pain made it clear what she had done. Being pants and panty-less, Ritsuko could see the hilt of her rubber friend jutting out of her, "Guess I forgot to take you out." Pulling the nine-inches of green stress relief out of herself she tossed it into the corner. She'd have to clean up a bit after work, wouldn't do Shinji any good to see the sty the apartment had become.

Free of the obstruction in her vagina, the tired woman got up and started preparing for the day. It took a bit of extra effort with her right hand still in a sling, it came off today once she got to Nerv-medical. Stepping over take out containers and the few empty bottles of booze, she wrinkled her nose at the smell. Her cats rubbed against her legs demanding attention, food, and to clean the litter box as it was well past capacity. "Sorry guys, I've been having a bad few days. Forgot Shinji-kun wasn't here to take care of you," she scratched behind both of their ears.

Damn she missed that boy, hoped that whatever pissed the commander off would pass so he'd be released. Tossing a cup of water into the microwave and pulling out a cup of ramen, breakfast of champions, Ritsuko eyed the vodka in her freezer. "No, can't get drunk now, have to work," she reminded herself. But it was so tempting to just get blitzed and say fuck it all. That would be admitting defeat though, and she was not going to lose this battle. She'd show all those backstabbers and fake friends that Ritsuko Akagi was going to live just to spite them.

Her lukewarm ramen eaten, cats feed a can of wet food apiece, Ritsuko stopped as Luna dug into her meal. Kneeling down, the cold air conditioned air crested her nude bottom, "You're looking thinner Luna-girl," she felt a growing concern. Luna was older than Artemis by a good five years and was cresting into the elder years of her lifespan. The fluffy black cat looked as if she'd dropped a good pound or two and her fur was more ratty, not a good sign at all. Maybe she'd ask Shinji to take her to the vet after he was let out. A lot of things to ask Shinji of…assuming he was ever released back into her care.

Grabbing her clothing, the bitter Akagi quickly showered using her good hand to work out a little of the stress. A good morning orgasm helped chase away the bad feelings now a days. "Maybe I'll try the bars again, get another one night stand or something," she asked aloud as she dried herself off. Putting on the cleanest of her dirty clothing, she hadn't had tried to do any laundry since the accident, she headed out of the apartment.

Passing Ayanami's door, Ritsuko stopped and gazed at the portal. The door was slightly ajar, strange as she had never seen it like that before. Having not spent anytime with Rei since the destruction of the extra clones, Ritsuko felt a bout of shame, Rei was a nice kid, odd but nice. Opening the door, Ritsuko stepped in and was instantly assailed by the stench of the place. "Ayanami, you in here?" she called out stepping further into the apartment, much akin to her own right now, disheveled and unkempt.

A deadpan response instantly came, "I am, Akagi-san. Did you need anything?" Rei just sat on the couch, not moving, not doing anything other than sit in her school uniform.

Stepping over the used clothing and soiled tissues, Ritsuko grimaced in distaste. "Something bothering you Ayanami, you're just…" Ritsuko didn't know what to say really. She didn't know Rei 'that' well, but was unnerved all the same. No lights on, no sound, just Rei sitting patiently on the couch surrounded by filth. As if the girl hadn't tried living since she was taken off the pilot's roster, just going through the motions. Attempting a bit of humor, "You'll be late for school if you don't get moving."

Her cheeks sunken in, Rei much like Luna appeared thinner and more akin to an automaton than an actual person. "I am not going to school. There is no point in it at this juncture. I have the commanders permission to attend or not," she actually did turn to look at the woman who had the audacity to infringe upon her solitude. A small light did return to her eyes though as she asked, "Is Ikari-kun being released from solitary today?"

Poor girl, Ritsuko thought, poor poor girl. "I don't know Ayanami, but I think," she got a wicked idea. Knowing the security system thanks to her hidden promotion, Ritsuko felt a plan forming in her head. Thanks to her work with Rei, Gendo had her security rating bumped up to allow her access to the necessary secrets of Nerv, and that did provide for some fun things. "Want to see Shinji-kun today? I can get you into his cell," the smile on her face was positively evil. Wonder what Misato's little whelp of a girl would do if she lost Shinji to somebody else?

On her feet the moment after realization dawned upon her of the offer, Rei was at Ritsuko's side. "If that is a possibility, it would be accepted," Rei said with the hint of desperation. Her own clothing was ruffled and a black soy-sauce stain marred the off white colors. Her eyes fluttered briefly, "But I was not aware you had access to the detention levels."

With Rei in tow, Ritsuko headed out of the building and towards the waiting train station. "I wasn't aware I had it either until a week or so ago," Ritsuko informed. It had been the time she covered for Kaji's hacking attempts…damn she still loved that man. Love and hate summed it up better, all the good was met with the bitter truth of the betrayal. "This will be our little secret though Rei, alright? If word gets out, well then maybe somebody else would try to get a private meeting with the boy," Ritsuko teased.

If Rei got the innuendo or not, Ritsuko didn't know as Rei just nodded and said nothing. No matter, silence was good too. The train ride hadn't been too noticeable, a man (nice and young) had given her the eye as the rode, but Ritsuko wasn't drunk enough to let him grope her on the less then crowded cabin. On the contrary, Ritsuko's mind was fixated on her forming plan at a little revenge. Maybe nothing would happen between Shinji and Rei, but if it did…well it wouldn't break Ritsuko's heart if Misato's whelp was hurt as she had been. Hell she hoped something did happen as it meant Rei would be getting something nice too. Ritsuko felt kinship for the poor girl.

Walking into Nerv for the first time in days, nobody had tried talking to her over her little medical leave, Ritsuko got a few odd stares as the pair walked. It no longer fazed her though, the rumors and gossip she garnered. Let them think of her as a dirty secret or a crazed woman, she had been stupid to try and earn their respect, just another thing she had done to please Kaji. It was safer to stay away from them, to have one or two real close friends and say fuck the rest.

"Well Ayanami, just head down to security and wait for the guards to leave. That will be your clue to head in," Ritsuko gave the albino's shoulder a light tap. The eagerness in Rei, well it made Ritsuko feel something slight. Even if her newly formed plan turned to nothing, at least she made both of those kids days. Shinji, her only true friend at the moment, and Rei the girl Ritsuko could most identify with…let them be happy at least. Waiting for some random tech to walk past before adding, "I'll give you a window of two hours, then you'll have to leave. Go and have some fun."

With a brief nod, the expression on Ayanami's face was impossible to read. It was a subtle mixture of confusion, enthusiasm, happiness, and even fear. Not saying a word of thanks or even acknowledgement, Rei spun on the balls of her feet and headed off as Ritsuko had instructed.

Watching the girl disappear down the corridor, Ritsuko leaned against the wall contently. Well this was going to be her good deed for the day, regardless of what hell it potentially could bring. Fuck Asuka, fuck Misato, and most of all fuck Kaji, they could deal with little miss princess's shattered ego. "Maybe I'll drop the bomb about her failing scores too," Ritsuko mused as she headed to the bridge.

Finding the place exactly as she had left it, Maya and Shigeru working in tandem as Makoto was off on his own Ritsuko just shrugged. They were going to be petty punish the man forever it seemed, not that Ritsuko thought he sinned against nature. Makoto just tried to make the woman he wrongfully loved happy, hadn't they all been stupid in the name of love before, that damned vile emotion. Helping herself to some coffee, she headed to get briefed on what she missed. "Thanks for visiting me Maya, it broke up the loneliness of being at the apartment with nothing to do," Ritsuko jabbed.

Yelping in surprise, Maya spun around in her chair and cringed. "S-Sempai I didn't expect you on the bridge! Weren't you to get the cast off today?" Maya sheepishly avoided eye contact with her superior. "We'll go over the removal plan later Shigeru," she dismissed the man quickly. Following Ritsuko closely, the petit tech squirmed apprehensively, "S-sorry about not visiting Sempai, but we've been busy with a lot of things. The Forth-Child is having a lot of issues with his score, he can barely pilot Unit-00. And Soryu isn't helping to move Unit-03's body in protest of Shinji-kun's punishment. Doesn't help that Katsuragi is backing her."

Of course Misato would side with her precious little surrogate daughter. It was the closest thing to a child the barren woman would ever have. Sitting at a computer, Ritsuko pulled up a few commands, her one hand strayed to her stomach for a moment. A child…Kaji's child…THEIR child…what would it have become had she not…Shaking the regret away, Ritsuko issued a few random orders to the guards in the solitary confinement section, pointless busy word that would keep them from intruding on Rei's little visit. Turning off the cameras to prevent any little mementos, Ritsuko nodded.

"Well it couldn't be helped then could it," she finally responded to Maya. The cute little button nose Maya had wiggled Ritsuko noticed at the comment. It was a shame they'd not have a chance to play, but Ritsuko couldn't fault Maya for not being bi-curious. "Would have been nice if you at least called me though. Without Shinji-kun around, all I have are my cats anymore. Not like I had much before, but guess it was just a passing hope," she refused to admit being lonely. "Speaking of Shinji-kun, has any word been given on his release?" she asked flatly.

Approaching the two women, Kaji stood a respectable distance from them as he made his entrance known. "Bastard king said Shinji stays in the brig for another full week, and nobody but he can issue the order to get him out," Kaji all but spat out. To the unknowing Kaji was himself, but Ritsuko could see that scrutinizing and evaluating eye of his wafting all over her, "How you doing Ritsuko? Arm feeling better?"

Do not feel anything, do NOT feel anything…DON'T, she did. Ritsuko sank back into her chair filled with revulsion, not for Kaji but herself. Biting back tears, the woman just couldn't put her feelings for him away, love sucked. "I'm not glass Ryoji, I get the cast off in an hour or two. Now I know you're not here just to check up on me, what do you need?" she waved Maya off. Likely Kaji had another mission or objective that he needed her help with. Bitch part of being in her position was she was damn good at it, and Kaji needed her help.

Letting out a small whistle as he watched Maya's thin peach shaped rump wiggle away, Kaji leaned against the bay of computers Ritsuko sat by. Making sure nobody was in hearing distance, "I want to ask a favor Ritsuko," he let her attempt to distance themselves slide. "Think you can get Asuka in to see Shinji? Girl is getting really depressed. Haven't seen her get like that, but apparently Misato's really worried, and I won't lie and say I'm not worried about Shinji. He's been in the hole for days and we both know that can break anybody," Kaji offered a pained look at the woman.

Not what she expected, but not out of the realm of possibility, Ritsuko berated herself. Of course Kaji would know she had authority and the ability to do what he asked. "I'll see what I can do, but it won't be today," she just couldn't refuse him, never could. "And I never thought I'd hear the news that wonder girl had any human failings. Not with how she carries herself and Misato's praising of her. What has her royal highness in the emotional dumps? That time of the month?" Ritsuko joked as she started her actual work for the day.

Pushing himself away from the computer, Kaji put his hands up in defeat. "I don't know, girl hates me still so it's not like she'd tell me. Just ever since the last battle she's been…I don't know off. More self critical, and self abusive. Girl just HAS to be the best or the world is doomed or something," he fussed about not knowing exactly what to say. His hand reached out for Ritsuko but he pulled it back before touching her, "And if she knew about that," he pointed at Asuka's current scores and winced, "girl would likely break down completely. Thanks for…thanks for everything Ritsuko."

"Just leave Kaji, I'm not going to break the girl, I want to live too so breaking her wouldn't help," Ritsuko lied. She could smell his aftershave, her thighs rubbed together unconsciously. "As for your request, I'll let you know what I can do later today," she'd tell him the truth. Damn little girl would get what she wanted, but maybe Ritsuko would have the last laugh if Rei and Shinji DID get into something…she doubted it though.

After Kaji offered another weak apology, the rogue left Ritsuko to her own devices. Research, score listings, and a strange email from the commander to focus on the Dummy Plug more and to meet him after her shift ended. Wonder what the old man wanted. The cast came off just a little before lunch, the doctor had been an elderly woman and commented that Ritsuko needed more sun. Nosy old bitch, Ritsuko needed more booze and Shinji to cook her something good to eat more than she needed to be outside. Oh well, the day went off without a hitch. When she took Rei home with her, the commander cancelled the meeting upon seeing Rei, Ritsuko was sad to learn that all the pair had done was talk…oh well maybe next time.

X-X

She hadn't slept that night, no Misato was to stunned by some of the revelations she had found in the Nerv computers to sleep. Kaji had tried getting her to bed around midnight, but she just shook her head, opened another beer, and lied about having work to do. Kaji, that darling of a man, had really pulled a saving grace out for her yesterday though. How he got Ritsuko to agree to helping get Asuka into Shinji's cell today she'd not ask. It wasn't like she had to, she could tell Ritsuko still cared about him, but he wasn't going back to her.

Rolling the empty can of Yebisu across her fingers, not touching her palm with the flimsy metal, Misato tried to let everything sink in. Who would have suspected her big reveal came from shipping manifests that weren't even listed as secure. But it was all there, in theory anyway, that Nerv had an angel in its bowels, and had it trapped against something constructed of the same metal as the Eva's. She had to get into that room. The listings and readings, all her attempts to breech Nerv security lead to one of the few rooms beyond that horrify tank room. Whatever Ayanami was, Misato was glad only one remained.

While the Forth Child was proving to be quite inept at piloting, making Asuka and Shinji's achievements all the more striking, Misato would rather the perverted boy be piloting than whatever the hell Ayanami was. She wasn't natural, Misato knew that now, after reading Rei's files, or lack of them. The girl had no parents, no extended family, in reality Rei had no life prior to the age of five when Gendo took her in as her legal guardian. News of Rei's little breakdown was kept under wraps, command staff only, and Misato was going to keep it that way.

"Rare to see you awake this early," Asuka snidely commented as she exited her room. Walking past Misato's seated position on the couch, Asuka took up residency on the adjacent chair, swiped the remote off the table, and turned the station from the morning cartoons to a news station. Sipping coffee, Asuka hiked one leg over the other, "Any reason for this, or is it a fluke of nature?"

Still angry at me it seems, Misato analyzed Asuka's little comment. Try as she might, Misato couldn't fault Asuka in her shift in moods. Kaji's reintroduction to her life had left Misato in an emotional whirlwind that she was only now starting to recover from. Damage was already done, but Misato wasn't going to give up on the girl. The real question was how much of what she was learning could Asuka be told? That was the big worry, tell Asuka to much and she'd either crack, refuse to pilot, or not care.

Putting her empty back on the table, Misato opted to try being more upbeat, she did have a gift for Asuka today. "Hey, I was watching that, if I don't get my morning douse of animated bliss you know I'm a wreck all day," she joked at the long dead tradition of Asuka and her German cartoons. When Asuka didn't smile but scowled, Misato realized that the girl wasn't going to make it easy for you. Shoulders sagging, Misato bite the bullet, "Look Asuka, I'm sorry about the other day alright? It was a mistake. You DO mean more to me than he does."

Blowing the steam off her mug, Asuka's frumpy hair masked her eyes in a thin veil of red. Bitterly, "It doesn't look like it Misato, it really doesn't. I can't get a word out of you that isn't related to him in some way anymore." The redheads body starts trembling every so slightly as she haunches over, "You have the gall to say that bullshit to me at Nerv, then the next minute, no the next second you cast me to the side? How can…how can I trust you Misato? How can I trust anything you say, when if he asks you to do the opposite you'd do it?"

Misato had to hand it to Asuka, girl never got into a fight she wasn't sure she could win. Out gunned, out flanked, and unwilling to engage Misato just sat there as Asuka collected herself. She heard the door to her room open, great Kaji was up now to add fuel to the fire. Thankfully the man could read the atmosphere well enough to make a beeline straight for the bathroom. Waiting for the shower to turn on, "Asuka, I can only apologize so much, I can only tell you I love you so many times as it will take for you to actually believe me. And I will keep saying both until you accept it." At times Asuka needed a firm hand, now was one of them.

Getting up, her coffee mug spilling over and onto the table and rug, Asuka stormed past, "Say it again then! Maybe if he wasn't around I might believe it!" The dripping of heavily cream and sugared coffee plinked on the ground, Pen-Pen was already over at it lapping it up. Slamming the door to her room, Asuka made a deliberate act of turning on her music without headphones.

Eyes closed, Misato took a deep breath, not at all how she wanted the morning to go. She had hoped Asuka would have been more responsive, and then the news of today's post school meeting with Shinji might have actually garnered Asuka's return to happiness. No, Asuka was in a black-mood, exactly where Misato hated and feared her to be. A depressed Asuka only got more depressed and that worried Misato. So, with no recourse but to let the cat out of the bag early, she pounded on Asuka's door.

"Asuka turn that down for a minute…I have something you actually do want to hear," Misato called through the thin door. Thankfully the volume did lower just enough for her to not have to shout. A small prayer went to any listening deity that this little break in security would help Asuka back up. "We're arranging a little private time for Shinji and you today. Getting you past security so you can give your partner a little affection while he's locked up," Misato sang a little. If anything would get Asuka's attention that would have been in.

The music all but instantly turned off and a moment later the door slid open. Asuka, trying as hard as she could not to smile, was fighting to keep a skeptical look on. "But he's in solitary for doing what he was told. How can you get me in there, you can barely program the DVD player," Asuka's arms were crossed under her bust. Tapping her foot irritably, her hands subtly rubbed her belly, "Stupid cramps, stupid timing," she murmured under her breath.

So Asuka WAS having her period, thank god for that, Misato thought. Asuka wasn't pregnant, a fact Misato was all to happy to accept. With all the sex, hinted at or not, that her ward was having with her beau made Misato a little concerned. With one fear gone, "Well it's not me personally getting you in there." Eyeing the bathroom, she was tempted not to tell where the gift came from less Asuka refuse it on principle. "Kaji asked Akagi to help get you in. Either she wants to help Shinji, do it for Kaji, or she takes offense to him being punished for no reason, whatever reason she claims, she's going to get you in," Misato had to try getting Asuka to not hate Kaji.

Standing in thought, her head leaning to the side in contemplation, Asuka was an unreadable mask. "What time would this meeting be at?" she ventured after her prolonged silence. Taking a step back deeper into her room, Asuka left the door open as she unhurriedly went to her closet and started looking through her clothing. Grabbing various dresses from the closet, "To complicated…to big…he liked this one," she tossed the slinky dress onto her bed.

Unable to resist the urge to peek, Misato inched into the doorway and cringed at the site that she saw. Her voice only caught for a moment, "You'll have two or so hours after you get to the base. She'll take care of things. And if you ask me nicely…I'll try to get that lengthened." If Ritsuko had authority to do half the things she claimed…Misato just might have her way into the secrets she wanted. Just she doubted Ritsuko would do so willingly. That's what the gun was for.

As for Asuka's room, it was very telling to Misato that the girl was hiding more than not. It was in complete disarray. For a girl that had everything in its place, her music and game collection perfectly arranged and ordered, what Misato saw was akin to finding Asuka standing over a mutilated pet. Broken CD's, torn posters, a smashed controller in a corner. Asuka was not in a good place, but she wasn't saying anything about it. What worried Misato more was the fact that outside of the room's condition Asuka seemed only a trifle miffed. Damn she hoped that some time with Shinji helped. Heaven forbid Asuka ever learn the truth of her failing scores.

Asuka only grunted and continued her pursuit of the perfect outfit for the boy in the lightless cell. Shutting the door, she lied to herself saying she did it to give Asuka privacy and not to be reminded of Asuka's ability to hide her depression/anger. Getting herself ready for the day of work, more time spent reviewing the disastrous Forth Child, Misato did her own job of suppression. Asuka wasn't as bad as she was thinking, it wasn't like when she first took Asuka in. Just her period, the Kaji issue, and Shinji's incarceration, Asuka would get better after one of those were rectified.

Some twenty minutes later, Kaji was rapping her on the shoulder as Misato stared blankly at the news. A large number of Tokyo-3's population was leaving the city, world nations were questioning if more shouldn't be done to confront the Angels, the normal posturing. "You ready to go, babe?" Kaji asked leaning partially over the couch. Hiking his thumb at the still sealed door, Asuka had some more time before leaving for school, "You tell her about the plan?"

Favoring herself a small comfort, Misato kissed Kaji's stubbly cheek, "Yeah I did." Letting the man's large calloused hand's pull her off the couch, she noticed he cupped her breast and not her waist…flirt. "This will do her a world of good. She's a little too depressed about this. Shinji-kun did break orders to assist her, and she'd likely have been fine on her own anyway," she lied again to herself. Passing Asuka's door, "We're taking off for Nerv, Asuka. Remember let me know when you get in and I'll take care of everything!"

No reply came directly from the German, just more muffled talking made indistinguishable thanks to the music. Asuka would do what Asuka had planned, and Shinji would be her willing victim. The walk to the parking lot had been quite, Kaji was muttering about reports he had to file, and grumbling about the heat. Misato was content to hold his hand, taking what comfort she could from the contact as they walked. Such a little thing, but thankfully lately more little things were happening. Kaji was opening up more, they were acting more like a couple and not just bed-buddies. Only side effect was Asuka's unnoticed slipping further away.

Climbing into Kaji's rust bucket of a car, Misato couldn't help but gag at the stench of cigarettes as it assaulted her nostrils. "You smoke too much, Kaji. This car is damn ripe," she used the hand crank to open the window. The rule of no smoking in the apartment was normally not broken, he must have been smoking in his car to make up for it. "As for today's little gift for Asuka, how is it possible for Akagi to do it?" Misato asked hiding her eagerness. But it was an in, a way to learn just what her masters were hiding from her.

Chuckling lightly as he sucked a cancer-stick out of his pack, Kaji met Misato's window with his own opening. "Sorry babe, but it's about the only place I can smoke anymore. The break room is being remodeled so I can't use it, can't smoke in your car, and she won't let me in the apartment. Last time I tried she poured a glass of water on it," Kaji fired up his lighter. After a few questionable seconds, the old cars tired engine resisted started but finally gave in with a belch of foul smog, and the duo were off towards the parking deck.

Pulling into traffic, the early morning commute was already starting to get clogged with other vehicles of better make and model, Kaji angrily flipped the bird at a woman that cut him off. Biting down hard on his filter, "As for Akagi," Kaji did linger on the name for all but a moment, "I've seen her security clearance has been raised. It's been that way for a while, but I never realized it. I started looking for something I could do for Shinji-kun, and stumbled upon it. Kid did exactly what I told him to, and now he's penalized for it."

Misato had remembered that little bit of info, but chose to favor Asuka's side rather than Shinji's. Kaji had told her of the debacle the Forth Angel was, and how Kaji informed the wayward pilot to take battlefield orders with a grain of salt. Misato just wanted Asuka protected, and two verses one was a better strategic move. Three verses one would have been better, but the commander wisely got Ayanami out of the battle by having Unit-00 offsite.

Covering her mouth with her fingers, Misato let her mind drink in what Kaji had said though. "So Akagi's got higher clearance than we do? Don't you think that is odd, Kaji? We're the ones that are making the battlefield decisions and she's just one of the scientists working on non-essential projects. Why does she need higher clearance than us, what is she hiding?" she asked aloud. Kaji never hinted at Ritsuko having forbidden knowledge, but then again he never talked about Ritsuko at all, much to Misato's pleasure.

Dancing through the lanes of traffic, narrowly avoiding being clipped by a semi-trailer, Kaji took a heavy drag of his smoke. "Well if the timing is right, she didn't get her security bump until after she agreed to help Fuyutski on the Dummy Plug. It was part of a deal we made to get Ayanami closer to Shinji-kun to try and help her recover. At the time we didn't know the Dummy Plug was an automation system, so maybe …wait…wait-wait wait," Kaji's foot hit the accelerator hard as a dawning realization hit him.

Just as Kaji was having his moment of epiphany, Misato was white knuckled as the car zipped around others. "Kaji what the hell are you doing, pay attention to the road!" she thought it funny to be worried of being in a car. She drove faster than this with heavier traffic, but something in Kaji's face make Misato think that the man wasn't behind the wheel anymore. With a sigh of relief, Kaji shook his head and slowed down, she was much relieved.

Whatever revelation Kaji had, he kept it to himself, despite Misato's asking. 'I'll tell you once I confirm a few things' was the best she got out of him. More to worry about later, today had taken a change for her though. She'd get Ritsuko to help get Asuka to visit Shinji, and while her little girl rocked Shinji's world…well Misato might have Ritsuko open a few doors for her. Nerv had secrets in its basement, and her old friend had the keys. Maybe Ritsuko would play nice, she'd at least ask nicely at first, but if push came to shove, Misato was getting inside.

X-X

Sitting on the roof with the unwanted additions of Touji and Kensuke to the lunch group, Asuka popped another aspirin chased with luke warm tea. Damn cramps were annoying, but she welcomed the monthly annoyance to being a mother. If her history with 'mothers' told her anything, Asuka wanted to be far away from those bitches. Her real mother went crazy, her stepmother was annoying, and Misato…ok maybe they weren't always bad, but Misato had changed lately. Before Kaji, the man Misato swore was worth less than dirt, Misato had been the one shining light in Asuka's challenged life.

Now that light was Shinji, he hadn't betrayed her, he hadn't abandoned her, and she trusted him when he said he loved her. Yes, Shinji was something worth going through all this madness for, her beloved Puppy-kun. With Shinji at her side, Asuka had grown stronger, faster, and happier. Added to the mix that sex with the boy was paramount to bliss on tap, Asuka was looking forward to today's little liaison with rapt anticipation.

Picking at her food, Hikari was nestled closely to Touji's side, "Are you not eating Asuka? You haven't touched your food, and you look a bit pale today." The class representative spared her boyfriend of two days a moment to see to her friend. Putting the back of her hand to Asuka's forehead, "Not sick or anything are you? Is that why Ayanami is out so much, sickness at Nerv?"

Taking a massive bite out of his lunch, provided by Hikari, Touji nodded as he spat out bits of food, "Yeah, we know about Shin-man, but Ayanami ain't been around at the base and you look worse than normal." Holding his hand out to Kensuke who begrudgingly gave the jock a high-five for the joke, Touji laughed at his own statement.

Why did she have to put up with such idiots, Asuka wondered. Touji could barely make Unit-00 stand and was leagues below Shinji and her level of syncing, and was effectively just a moving target. But here he sat with that smug look on his face, he didn't garner the respect that the first three pilots earned. She didn't even think he'd improve if pushed like Shinji had, Touji was a lost cause.

Placating Hikari, Asuka picked at the food she had made that morning. It tasted bland, Shinji's lunches for her were far superior, but she'd tolerate what she could. "I'm just tired is all. Misato's been keeping me up late with that pig of a boyfriend of hers. I swear the walls are paper thin or she's doing it on purpose," not a total lie she had heard them, but it wasn't why she had been awake. Her scores were down a little, even more than before, she had to get better! She had to prove she had the right to pilot, the right to live and not depend on Shinji to do it for her.

Hiding behind the screen of his laptop, Kensuke would occasionally cast a jealous glare at the pilots, more Touji than Asuka. Hinting at envy, "I can't believe somebody is actually with Misato-sama. Shinji kept talking about that Kaji guy, but I always thought he was really into that blond. They looked good together the few times we saw them." More typing, furiously for a few moments followed with Kensuke shutting the laptop down, he moaned, "Seems they got the last of your original Eva scrapped. And here I hoped they'd fix it and I could pilot it. They picking anybody to be Ayanami's replacement?"

Gasping, Hikari covered her mouth and gave Asuka a fearful glance, "Aida-kun, they're not replacing her, right Asuka? You said she's just been taking off active duty or something." The girl was always quick to try and minimize damage.

Another reason to improve her skills, if they were dropping Ayanami they might just drop her too. The whole clone business, Asuka didn't know much about or have much of an opinion. All that mattered was improving and being worthy. Hell, if she failed enough for them to drop her…wouldn't that separate her from Shinji too? Her jaw set hard as her teeth ground together, "No they're not replacing Ayanami so no dice Aida. She's got some health issues or something they're looking into. That's why they put monkey-boy into her Unit. I swear Hikari you could do so much better than him." The idiot had tried to spy on her twice in the locker room already, claiming accidents each time.

Finishing Hikari's lunch, Touji handed his girlfriend back the bento box. "Yeah Ken, it's not all fun and games like you want it to be anyway. I have to sit in that orange goop all day, listen to Red here whine about Shinji's jail time. Which is her fault I'll remind everybody," Touji jutted an angry finger at the redhead. Getting to his feet, he reached for Hikari who took his hand. Popping his back Touji continued with his deluge of comments, "Bitched at by Akagi-san, who is a real ball breaker, or that cu-other girl Ibuki. All in all man, if it wasn't for my sister I'd not go through with it."

Failing to see any negative mentioned, Kensuke just continued to sulk by his half eaten bread roll. Falling back onto his hands, "Says the guy that gets to do it. Why couldn't they picked me, I want to do it. Man, Shinji and you get to…why can't I?" He stuffed his laptop into his bag and continued to mumble under his breath, a few names of girls in the class could be heard.

Heading to the door leading back to the school proper, Hikari stopped to wait for Asuka, "You coming Asuka, we don't have much time left before class." Any comments of Touji's worth as a paramour were left unsaid by the blushing woman, Touji's hand around her waist likely had something to do with it. "Oh and about our weekly shopping trip today…" she trailed off as she alternated between Touji and Asuka.

Getting off the ground, Asuka just waved dismissively at Hikari. In the emotional euphoria of Misato's little gift she had forgotten the standard weekly mall trawl with her friend. Mockingly, "I know you want to let that pig stick you with his manmeat," she held up her finger three inches apart, "Just use protection or he'll leave you the moment after your pregnant." Touji wouldn't be a father, no the worthless male would just leave Hikari to suffer alone if the case ever came. Grasping at the fence, she gazed at over the city, damn it girl get it together! You can't let them see you weak, they'd tear into her like wolves.

As Touji attempted to protest Asuka's assumption of size, Hikari spilled the beans, "He's a little bigger than…" Completely red faced at her blurting out of not only the speed at which their relationship was moving, but Touji's size in things. "S…sorry!" the girl squealed as she ran down from the rooftop with Touji chasing after.

Taking up the spot next to Asuka, Kensuke sighed heavily, "Didn't expect them to get together either. Should have though, Shinji saw it." He moaned and leaned backward against the fence but gave Asuka wide berth, "There really no hope for me to being a pilot? Things at Nerv seem odd lately, especially after losing a whole Eva."

At least this one had drive, no skill but drive had to count for something, Asuka fathomed. "No, no chance," he wasn't getting her Unit-02 and Shinji was proudly owning Unit-01. She sensed more than saw Kensuke had another question just begging to be asked, but she silenced him with a firm and disapproving stare. The coward fled, more reason he'd never make it as a pilot, cowards died.

Watching the hustle and bustle of the city from atop the school for another several minutes, the tired girl pressed hear face against the fence and strained her fingers against it. Everything just seemed to be going against her, but she wouldn't falter! Harder and harder she'd push herself, pick herself up after every blow and continue! Mother was wrong, she had value, Misato was wrong to pick a swinging dick over her, and the cowed students were wrong thinking she was indestructible. Shinji knew it though, just as she knew he was far from perfect to. Together they'd live through this.

The rest of the school day went quickly, Asuka hardly paying attention to the boring lectures of things she either already knew or knew to be lies. Hikari had tried talking to her via Instant Message, but it was just more defending of Touji which she didn't care about. Her innards yelled incessant pain at her, reminding her of her biological functions. She'd deny those as well, no children for her, never. Even if Shinji wanted them, she'd stick to that one rule, the one with him she'd never break. Thankfully the 'friends' she had among the other girls didn't bother her once Hikari let the class out for the day.

A crowded train met her on the way to Nerv, some pervert had the balls to try and touch her. He was left crying over a broken finger and a red hand print on his face. Only one person could touch besides her, and only when she wanted. And she wanted it now, not just because it felt good, but it helped calm her. Reminded her that not all people were out to use or control her, some people were good. Stopping in the pilots changing room, Asuka was quick to switch out of her panties and into the dress she chose. Silly to get dolled up for a lightless room, but it was the thought that counted.

The call to Misato had been odd, if anything Misato sounded more agitated than she was, but Asuka wasn't in the mood to worry about what Kaji had done now to warrant Misato's ire or lust. Shinji was waiting for her. Waiting as Misato instructed at the intersection of the security brig and the elevator down to the Eva hanger bay, she eventually saw the guards walk past.

No further obstructions were in her way, a clear path and unlocked doors awaited her on her trek to Shinji's cell. Opening his door, the light streamed into the cell from behind her, and there on a bench sat the thin and pale Shinji rubbing his eyes at the offending light. "Puppy-kun, got a minute to talk? You've been a bad dog leaving your master behind like this," she teased. He wasn't beneath her, but he seemed to like the demeaning title.

Getting up on malnourished and resisting legs, Shinji's eyes blinked rapidly. Amazed borderline not believing, "Asuka-chan is that you? I thought after yesterday I'd not see anybody until I was relea…" Shinji didn't get to finish his statement, at least not yet. The door shut quickly resealing the room in pitch blackness. Asuka rushed into his arms and covered his mouth with her own. Talking would be later, it was time to chase away the pain and the loneliness.

Not her proudest moment, as per the norm only Shinji saw the moments of weakness, Asuka let herself relax for the first time in days. The eagerness and desperation in her touches, caresses, and demands weren't lost on Shinji she noted, but he didn't resist either. The dress she had chosen for this little meeting hadn't stayed on for more than five minutes before cast it off along with tearing at Shinji's. She got her 'medication' on the tiny bench Shinji used as a bed. Not once or twice but three times, eating up much of the two hours of time she had been promised.

Having eventually moved to the ground, it provided more room to move, Asuka let Shinji hold her in post coital bliss. "Sorry for this, Shin-chan, it's been a bad few days for me out there. I had actually wanted to talk more than…but stress and all, that and your so damn comfortable. You don't blame me for getting you thrown in here do you?" she cooed as she tried to look at where she thought his face was. His hands, one on her shoulder squeezed, while the one on her stomach patted her and eased her cramps, worked magic on her mind and body. Snuggling closer, "I missed you."

Doing the best he could to deal with the bundle of nerves and worry in his arms, Shinji took only a little less than what he gave. A light chuckle, "You think I'm upset at this? The girl of my dreams comes to my cell and lets me make love to her? Asuka-chan, you've likely saved my sanity in here. They're hardly feeding me, leave me alone in the dark for days…and you come like this?" he slide his hand to her chest and gave it a light squeeze. Pulling her body closer to his as they laid side by side, "And no, I don't blame you. It was my choice to join you. I'd not have forgave myself if something unexpected had happened and I did nothing to prevent it."

Oh he knew exactly how to word things to her, Asuka hummed softly as drowsiness set in. Not condescending or accusing, Shinji knew her far too well now. "You were saying something about yesterday, before I…" she wasn't proud of her need, but if Asuka wanted something she took it. It was right to do it, it really did ease her mind a lot to get this sole source of affection. Letting her hand stray south to rub against the nub grinding against her thigh, "Didn't cheat on me did you? Some female guard offer herself to you or something?"

His own voice was taking on a dreamlike quality as fatigue set in, but Shinji was earnest with his discourse. "Ritsuko-san got Rei-san in here to talk to me, so no I didn't cheat on you. We talked about how she was doing after the whole incident at her apartment the day of the attack. If you have the time, I'd love you to spend some time with her, worried about her being alone," Shinji wisely continued his subtle ministrations.

Had it been any other girl, Asuka have been suspect, but with Ayanami she had stopped doubting Shinji. They pair were more siblings than romantic liaisons, at least she told herself now. He had been more open and willing to her advances for a man that had gotten his fill the day before. Added to the mix Rei's absence from testing and school, Asuka suspected the girl was lost too. "I'll see what I can do, but you'll owe me big for it," Asuka rubbed a little harder.

Her phone vibrated in the pile of clothing…time to get moving. Blast, why couldn't she just stay here, what real threat could the commander hold over the two functioning pilots. Spinning in Shinji's arms, she gave him another soul searching embrace. "You owe me for leaving me alone out there. Misato all but abandoned me for Ryouji…she…I don't know, forget it," Asuka didn't want to ruin the moment. Misato was trying, love made a fool of that woman, Asuka knew it. That didn't lessen the pain though, Asuka did not take abandonment well, and Misato was moving further and further away from her.

Getting dressed, the stench on both of them was telling enough, not that either cared, Asuka gave Shinji a big lingering hug. "You better get out of here soon and help me clean the apartment…and make me some good food," she demanded.

"I'm all for that, Asuka-chan, I want out of here even more than you do," Shinji's hand trailed after Asuka's as she left and shut the door. Unfortunately for both of them, the next day brought an unexpected visitor.

X-X

His clothing was disheveled and half of it was on wrong, but Kaji continued his mad dash to the command bridge. What had started as a good day, Misato and he had a really good night with a much calmer and happier Asuka, had taken a rather dramatic turn. One moment he's got his hand up Misato's shirt, the next his phone rings and the angel alarm was sounding. Once more into the breach it seemed. The current living condition, and his growing satisfaction with it, was cast to the wayside as fighting for survival came barreling down at him.

Fixing her hair as they slowed from a sprint to speed walking the rest of way to the bridge, Misato panted, "I suggest we use Ayanami rather than Suzuhara for this, he's just too big a liability." The sweat dribbling down her chin and body left her shirt clinging to her like a second skin. Opening the door to the bridge, "We get Asuka and Shinji to take point, worked good last week, and see how it goes."

Kaji wanted to agree with her, but the sight on the bridge immediately took the sails out of Misato's initial battle plan, Rei was on the bridge up by Gendo. Briskly walking up to the combat ready trio of subordinates Kaji barked, "Status of the Eva's and their pilots? What of the angel? Tell me everything you know." The cameras showed a untested and unknown adversary. The silly part of Kaji's mind saw the new angel as looking like a fat flag with odd design. Being so similar to a square with thin metallic arms.

It was Maya that spoke first, cutting the tension barely with her frantic voice, "Second Child is loaded and being deployed with as many weapons as available. Forth Child is…armed with a knife and put as first intercept, stalling tactic while we get Soryu ready." The woman's face paled as she essentially stated the boy was going to fail, had no hope, and was just bait. Sending children out to fight and maybe die, it never got easy. "I see no news on the Ikari-kun though…where is he?" Maya quipped at Shigeru.

"He's still in Solitary confinement, Maya, until the commander says I wasn't going to…what?" Shigeru screamed. The entirety of the bridge just stared blankly at the long haired musician. Spinning in his chair as Misato and Kaji seethed vehemently at him. With a wide sweeping gesture towards the command deck, Gendo and Rei gazing down, "He said not to let the Third Child out until he said! I'm just following orders."

The sheer stupidity of Shigeru's comment left Kaji floored. How could anybody take orders so idiotically? The world was at stake, all pilots necessary, and this fool thought a trumped up charge meant to punish disobedience took precedent. "Aoba, relieve Shigeru and somebody please get the Third Child out of his cell and to his Eva NOW!" Kaji couldn't believe he had to do that. Shigeru was going to let Shinji rot just because of some order that hadn't been rescinded due to the emergency scenario.

Calling from her station on the other side of the bridge, Ritsuko's emotionless voice lanced through the haze of hectic energy, "Energy build up in target." That simple statement caused everybody to stop and stare at the screen. The 'face' of the angel light up with light and then the explosion hit. The Geo-Front and Tokyo-3 had suffered many a blast before, from the Third Angel's attack to self-detonated N2-mines, but this was far surpassing anything they felt before. Many toppled over, the whole base rocking from the aftershocks.

He did look to see if Ritsuko was alright, she had fallen hard to the ground, but Kaji stayed to help Misato up. As much as he still cared for Ritsuko, Kaji was finally accepting his fate, he was Misato's man now. Pulling his woman close to him, a sense of bitter peace settled in, Ritsuko didn't want him anymore she had moved on without him. "What's the status after the blast, news on the Third Child?" he'd have to try and make time to meet with Shinji now. No longer would he have a home with his would-be son, but if they lived he'd try to do something.

Pressing his earbud in harder, Makoto's face went ashen, "Third Child retrieved and moving to Unit-01, but Section-2 is reporting he is greatly malnourished and weak. Third Child claims he hasn't received food in…two days?" The man's glasses fell forward as he spun to face his superiors, bad news compiled with worse, "Wait…spotters state that one blast destroyed all our defensive layers? Angel has entering the Geo-Front!"

"Re-route Unit-00 to bring support to Unit-2," Misato put her headset back on. Bringing up a channel with the heavily armed and anticipating Asuka, Misato's hand sought Kaji's for solace. Doing her best to keep her voice steady said, "Asuka, Shinji-kun is on his way, but the angel is already broken through. Can you hold it off on your own?" A blast that could take out so many defensive layers though, a single hit would evaporate the Eva, and everybody knew it.

He just watched as Asuka smirked and hefted up the larger of the weapons provided, at least the girl had confidence. But he had other issues to address, like the weakening of one third if not two thirds of the pilot corps. "Commander Ikari, why have you denied the use of Pilot Ayanami in this sortie, she has far more experience in piloting than our current alternative, and what of the starving of Pilot Ikari?" he knew it was wrong to question orders, but to hell with regulations. Not like he could help Misato plan the battle, she was the one in command here not him.

Showing none of the panic his underlings had, Gendo sat hunched over as impassive as ever. "Pilot Ayanami has been pulled from the roster for health concerns. As for the Third Child, additional punishment was deemed appropriate due to violations in the terms of his confinement. Or did you believe your infraction had gone off without notice?" he said causally and reclined back in his seat.

"Unit-02 has made contact with the target!" Maya's voice called out shrilly, all eyes were on either Kaji and the commander or the battle of Unit-02 and the newest foe. "Ikari-kun is being prepped for release," she added with that hint of hero-worship that made Kaji nervous.

Letting Maya's update sink in, Kaji was getting a bad feeling about the battle, but he didn't know why. "Aren't you taking this to far Commander? Shinji was ordered by me to make the best tactical decisions that he saw fit given the circumstances. And you deem it necessary to put him in solitary for almost a week and then withhold food? That is excessive punishment for a damn teenager! And now we have a weaker pilot to help stave off the angel!" he was shouting. Yelling at his boss, the man Kaji knew had problem employees eliminated, smooth move. Oh well, if they failed to stop the angel it didn't matter.

"Timing of the angel was unexpected, had foreknowledge been available…" Gendo trailed off and rolled his hand over. It was the closest to an admission of guilt or care anybody was going to get out of the man.

Misato belted out a fear laced, "ASUKA!" which broke Kaji's attention on the king bastard. The collective breath of all watching was held as the thin metallic tendril of the angel struck. First unit-02's arms were severed, Asuka's lower sync value likely saved the girl from passing out due to the shock, but the next attack took off Unit-02's head…Asuka had failed. "Arm Unit-00 with an N2-mine, you heard me!" Misato ordered over the line to whoever she was speaking to. Rage embodied the woman, not fear but pure rage, "He can't fight, the least he can do is run at it, slam it into him, and protect himself with the AT-shield."

In a show of either cruelty or benevolence, Ritsuko approached the duo with news. "The Second Child's bio-readings are all over the place. She's immobilized and unrecoverable due to proximity to the angel, in great pain, but she'll recover with no lasting pain. Assuming we live through the next ten minutes," Ritsuko offered with clinical detachment. Locking gazes with Kaji for all but a moment, Ritsuko's eyes appeared to glisten but the cause was unknown.

Holding onto Misato, he felt her body fighting his hold, Kaji didn't want to make a bad situation worse by having a catfight amid the top brass. "Maya bring up the video of Unit-00, and where the devil is Unit-01?" he asked anybody listening. To think Misato would order the untested boy out with a bloody mine was unthinkable, but he had heard it. Suzuhara could only occasionally deploy his AT-field from all reports, he could be rushing off to his death. Drawing Misato closer to him, Kaji was never more reminded of who he actually wanted to hold. Ritsuko, saw him, and then walked off without further word.

Standing up, anxious energy building in him, Makoto smashed his finger against his monitor with painful precision. "Unit-00 will make contact with the target in ten seconds, Unit-01 is being filled with LCL and Pilot Ikari is being…briefed. But with the current progression of the angel, we don't know where to deploy him to intercept," he said pleadingly, nearly begging somebody to tell him what to do.

With Misato shaking against him, Kaji looked down to see her tear stricken and broken, Misato was out of this fight too. With no recourse but to take command, "Leave Unit-01 as it is until we learn of what the mine does." They could only hope the mine worked, if it didn't Shinji was the last hope. Misato whimpered in his arms, he relaxed his hold rather than hurt her more. He just felt so useless now, one unit down, two to go…children off to war. Watching as the blue behemoth ran clumsily towards its target, Kaji cringed as it made contact, slamming the mine towards the creatures red center.

The explosion was a close second to the angel's initial blast as it was so close.

When the smoke cleared though, Makoto's depression was apparent, "Target still active, Unit-00 is down. It wasn't able to fully block out the N2-mine, damage to the armor is apparent, but pilot's life signs are strong." Two down, one to go…but where was their last chess piece? "ANGEL BREACHING THE GEO-FRONT!" Makoto shrieked in a fit of near insanity.

Gasps and shouts from just about everybody not Gendo and Rei were chorusing in the bridge. The metal defenses crumpled as if they were wet paper as the Angel forced its way into the tiny confines. Due to their close proximity to one another, Maya and Makoto embraced as they looked on in horror at their approaching death. Kaji openly drew Misato into his arms, eyes clenched tightly shut as the beasts face came before the bridge and began to shine. This was it, they failed…

Then Unit-01 crashed through the other wall, destroying much of the base on his way to save them all. From what the bridge crew could see, Unit-01 drew back its foot and smashed it against the Angel's side preventing it from vaporizing the lot of them. Using the kick's momentum, Unit-01 crushed the intruder through the last remaining wall and to one of the elevators. Calling out sharply and in full control, "Ritsuko-san, elevator five!"

The full events that transpired next, Kaji could only guess as the command center was smashed and no footage could be watched. Controlled yelling and shouting from Shinji could be heard over the comm line, but that was hardly detailed enough to understand the fullness of the battle. All Kaji was sure of was that they had to go see it…and they did.

All of the bridge crew that could or choose to follow outside via emergency elevators, watched in horror as Unit-01 powered down moments before killing its opponent. That horror turned to abstract terror as Unit-01 reactivated on its own, and proceeded to finish the job, and eventually devouring the helpless beast that had effortlessly bested Unit-00 and Unit-02. Only Ritsuko didn't join in the jovial nature that followed…Kaji could could barely hear her when she said.

"It's broken free…its woken up," she was crying as she started walking towards the roaring monstrosity that was Unit-01 as its armor shattered.

Two hours later, they all saw the terrible price Unit-01's miraculous restart had cost. Shinji had achieved a 300% synchronization rate, and was absorbed by his tool. Kaji didn't have words, he just fell into a chair dumbstruck, Misato was too busy seeing to Asuka to be there for him. He dealt with the pain alone.

X-X

Standing in his office, beneath a pillar of white light, Gendo Ikari was in council. Around him were the illuminated forms of Seele's audio representations. The old fools hadn't appeared in any physical manner in year, all save Kehl. That man, the only one Gendo ever gave any credence or worry to, appeared as he always did, seated with his visor masking his face perfectly. Given the rather unexpected events of the day, the emergency session wasn't fully unexpected.

Not showing the signs of stress he was feeling, Gendo stood firm and tall, "Gentlemen, if you might not have noticed we have a situation here. So if you would, make this quick so I can attend to the rebuilding of the Geo-Front." The primary command bridge was abandoned due to security and safety concerns. Large numbers of personnel were tasked with clearing up the debris that the battle caused Unit-01's dramatic save had been very destructive. Unable to keep his own dark humor from showing included, "Unless you are going to offer your assistance in the repairs.

The distorted English accented broken Japanese of Seele-13 crackled, "Yes we saw the bungling of the latest angel. But to think two would attack in such rapid succession was unexpected. Why weren't all of the unit's sortied at the start of battle?" A few crackles hinted at an additional statement, but nothing but static followed.

If Gendo did have any grievance about the previous battle, it was the lack of having Unit-01 ready. To think some fool on the bridge had actually suspected he had wanted the Third detained in the presence of the Angel. It was his fault to, he'd admit to himself, for not seeing the boy's release, distractions aside it had been an err in judgment. The Third did need to learn his place, had to be beaten back down into submission. A tool that rebelled was hardly useful, and perhaps Gendo had let that one tool slip further out of his grasp than expected. To think the boy would have disregarded his orders, not according to scenario.

Fixing his glasses, they always seemed to be slipping, "A miscommunication amongst the bridge staff had the Third Child still incarcerated. As you no doubt remember from the report you requested, the boy had been put in solitary in retaliation to violation of orders during the previous battle." Telling the truth sometimes was more advantageous than a lie, the old men would always be left guessing which lie was false and which was real. Cutting off Seele-4, "The moment the truth was learned, a detachment of Section-2 were dispatched to rectify the situation."

"Ikari," Kehl's aged and bitter voice silenced any potential others from talking, "the scenario is falling behind schedule. And we are seeing variances from it that we are not happy with. Unit-03's defeat was to have played out differently, its pilot was not meant to survive." The Dead Sea scrolls, Seele's divine doctrine, had been quite clear that 'the fourth would not aid his brothers but be a traitor'. Funny thing about prophesy was it was so open to interpretation.

Twisting to face the old and decrepit man Gendo was not intimidated, "If you look at it from a different perspective, you'll see that we are still in line with the scenario. Unit-03 did not aid in any battle and was in fact destroyed. Its pilot not mentioned directly in the prophecy directly, so his survival isn't impacting anything." Yui was the philosopher, not him, but Gendo did recall a few of her talks in the living room with Fuyutski. She had been adamant that all the 'deaths' needn't be the actual pilots, just the mechs.

The non-distorted and fluent Japanese of Seele-2, the only woman in the mix, did not sound happy, "What of the failure of the Dummy Plug system? We have the reports from its activation during the battle with Unit-03. It was a colossal botch! Part of your objective was to complete the system on time, we are well beyond that point Ikari. It is imperative we have it working before to long. What are you doing to insure its completion?"

Fuyutski's failure, how could he forget? That damned old man had cast more than one wrench into Gendo's plans. How much the old fools knew, he wouldn't wager a bet. "It is my intent to fully explain the situation to Akagi's daughter. She had made marked improvements since Fuyutski's removal. And as she is no longer aligned with the double agent, no needs for concern outside of the norm are present," he had to hope anyway. Ritsuko was an unstable quantity, but a vital one. Her mother had been a genius, but thankfully the daughter was weaker in resolve.

He was going to press the daughter, see how much she could take and how useful she'd be. The elder had been good, in bed and out, but the daughter was more capable but believed herself less. Now that she was out of reach with Ryoji, well Gendo had plans. Ritsuko was essential for finishing the Dummy Plug, not that they had any spare clones and the only plug they had was in Unit-01. It would buy him time.

As a general disagreement started amongst the members, Kehl silenced them with a grunt and slamming his gnarled palm on whatever table he actually sat at. "While it is risky, we have no other options. Though we would like to speak with others, Ikari. Fuyutski needs to speak for his actions," the man paused and his lips curled up showing decayed and yellowed teeth, "and the First Child. You can make this easy or hard for us."

Of all of them, at least Kehl new something Gendo bit back. "I cannot say for certain Fuyutski can be moved, his health is still in a monitored state. As for Pilot Ayanami, I will see to her preparation. If she cannot be made available, would a substitute be suitable, one with the same knowledge of the system?" he'd throw Ritsuko at them if they old men would bite. With the other clones gone, Gendo couldn't risk Rei to anything less he loss all his ambitions and plans.

The monoliths were silent, likely in private conversations with one another. One by one they dimmed out leaving only Kehl left. "We will discuss this again later, but we might be willing to take somebody that knows other than the First. Your command staff, Katsuragi, Ryouji, or Akagi are suitable replacements if you are unwilling to let the last be presented to us. Work fast Ikari, we await results," Kehl didn't give Gendo time to offer a rebuttal before vanishing.

If he hadn't expected it, Gendo would have showed some sort of shock, but he had not. The removal of Rei from the pilot roster had to shine brightly as a questionable action. His hand had been forced, no taking it back now. To kill Fuyutski or hand him over to the council was touchy too. Kozo had been a friend at one time, both Yui's and his. That time was long gone, the old professor was not who he had been before. He had time, he'd think on it.

Sending Rei wasn't an option though, so who could he send in her place…that was the tricky part. He couldn't get Ritsuko to submit to the harsher conditions and secrecy if he offered her up to them, she had no firm loyalty to him. Ryouji was the double agent, that had potential. The man hadn't been as helpful as Gendo wanted so losing him wouldn't be to hard. The last option, Katsuragi, would have been pointless had he not been keeping tabs on her sudden zeal for spycraft. The major was finding out things that were getting closer to dangerous. Whoever was sent, they'd likely not be safe to keep around, nobody took captivity well.

He had time to think, time to plan. Now Gendo had only one worry left to address, "Will you let him go, Yui? Or will you keep him?" Unit-01's actions…Yui's actions, what did that mean? That was not part of the scenario, Unit-01 with an S2-engine, the Third Child absorbed and with Yui, why hadn't he considered just doing that himself…to late now. Much too late.

X-X

Authors Notes

Man I keep forgetting how depressing the later half of this gets until I get to about here in my longer stories. Trying to have a mix of good/bad but its harder with how things get. Again the main purpose of this is more of the adult relationships and not the pilots, but I have to have them in to a degree. Sorry if you think the Asuka/Shinji scene was a bit out of left field.

I think it fits with the whole 'seeking comfort where you can get it' and with Asuka's personality of not wanting to appear weak. Well its up to you do decide or not.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	20. Chapter 20

Standard Disclaimer

So much swimming…so enjoyable. Hope you had a good 4th of July, I spent mine at the pool relaxing. Work has me freaking out a bit due to me not getting any project work…so I'm sitting around worried I'll be let go, not a good place to be.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 20

Staring at herself in the mirror, the steam from her shower frosted the glass nicely, Asuka hardly noticed her reflection. Had it only been three days since that disastrous encounter, the fall of the latest angel but also her greatest failure yet? It felt so much longer than that, months if not unfathomable time since Shinji saved the day. Yes, it was Shinji that was successful that day, not her. She had been beaten, disarmed and beheaded. How had he succeeded where she failed so miserably? The more important question was though where did that leave her?

Affixing her neural connectors to her limp hair, Asuka didn't notice the sunken expression and paleness of her complexion. Hell she wouldn't have cared if she had seen it, she had nobody she cared to look her best for. Lazily putting her uniform on, still pretending that school had meaning to please Misato, Asuka just went through the motions. Shinji, her Shinji, had paid the price for her failure! Why hadn't she been stronger! If she hadn't…if she had won they'd be together right now. But she failed, and now Shinji was-well she didn't know what he was.

"Asuka are you almost done in there, we have to get ready for work and you've been in there for over an hour?" Misato's voice boomed in the small bathroom. The moisture acted as an excellent enhancer for the less than supportive words. Trying the lock, Misato gasped slightly when the door effortlessly slid open when Asuka was oft to barricade the thing when bathing. Stepping over the pile of unwashed towels, "So you are ready, glad you're going back to school. Some time with your friends should help."

Friends, yeah the one real friend she had and the leagues of posers that sucked up to her for selfish purposes. Trying to avoid Misato's telegraphed lunge, Asuka begrudgingly let the woman hug her, "I was bored staying home anyway. And I promised Shin-chan I'd talk with Ayanami. He's not here right now, but when he gets back I'm going to have him pay me back for it as we agreed." Misato's heat was insufferable, it felt warm and inviting. Lies, all lies…she tried to tell herself. Misato loved Kaji more than her, she was second place in the woman's heart. If she couldn't be first, Asuka wanted nothing.

Stroking Asuka' s hair, Misato just about smothered the German girl against her chest. "Good girl, that's my good girl," Misato cooed softly. Gently disengaging from the younger girl, Misato kept her hands on Asuka's shoulders, "Things will get better soon. Akagi will think of something to get him back. And when he does he'll be so happy with you." A glaze, fear, marred Misato's face as she examined Asuka but went unspoken about. Twirling the girl around, Misato gave Asuka's butt a smack, "Now get out of here so I can get in assuming you left me any warm water."

Joke was on Misato, Asuka thought happily, she'd felt the warm water peter out some time ago. It was cold shower time for Misato and her boy-toy. Finding the man that had stolen Misato from her at the table, they exchanged a baleful look. Good, he felt the same for her as she did him, why bother with pretense. Grabbing some bread from the table, she didn't even offer him a word of greeting. He couldn't bribe his way into her life as Misato had tried. Her last two hours with Shinji might have been at his good graces, but she knew it wasn't done to make HER happy. Kaji had done it for Misato or possibly Shinji himself, but it defiantly wasn't for her benefit.

Before Asuka could leave the room however, "Asuka, we need to talk, so have a seat." Kaji drummed his fingers on the table next to his coffee cup. Shoulders slouching forward, he grumbled, "Things have been complicated here since the last angel. But you need to stop taking this out on everybody else. It's not our fault what happened, it's not your fault either, these things just…"

"They do NOT just happen!" Asuka spun around violently. Brutishly approaching the seated man, Asuka was full of loathing at his thinly veiled attempt to placate her. "First off you can call me Soryu or Second Child, Ryouji, I think we'd both feel more comfortable keeping each other at a distance," she didn't want to be his friend that's for sure. Any thoughts Kaji might be having of considering her his 'daughter' needed to be burned to ash. Her passion died however quickly, "And Second these things don't just happen. Weakness and failure caused the events of the last angel. Suzuhara being incompetent, Shigeru being a fool, and my…"

She was done, without another word she spun back around and left the kitchen. Behind her she could hear Kaji calling out for her, but she didn't pay him any heed, had no reason to. It was Misato's business to suffer the man, not hers. Going to her room, the one safe place she had left, Asuka gathered her MP3 player and one of her few working sets of headphones. Tossing them into her school satchel she paused and looked for her portable gaming units. She'd have to buy a new one since she broke her primary the night before in a rage. Unable to concentrate well on the game, she bungled a save, and smashed the unit against the wall. Weakly she picked up one of the few photos she had of Shinji and her, hugged it to her chest, and fought hard to keep from crying, "Come back soon Puppy-kun."

Tossing what working games she had left that she wanted to play in her satchel as well, Asuka examined her room. It was in tatters, worse than it had been a week ago, but she just…focusing on things was so painful now. Her posters were worthless, gave her no joy to look at anymore. The games were just distractions from her mounting failures, and her music was all heard before and offered no solace. Better to destroy the useless than wallow in pettiness and shallow simplicity. Shutting the door as she left the room, she was glad Kaji had either gave up or went off to rat her out to Misato for 'being difficult'.

Walking to school earlier than normal, Asuka just sat at her desk hoping Hikari showed up without the stooge in tow. She had noticed a marked fewer students on the grounds than she was used to seeing. The few times she had gotten to school early like this, oft to hang out with Shinji when she felt a little lower, she had seen far more students. Guessing they were being cowards and running from the city, she loathed them. "Not like being away from the city will mean they'll live if I fail next time," she pulled a game out. She was the only viable pilot right now, if an angel came before Shinji was returned it was on her shoulders to save them.

"Not like we can rely on that damn fool to do anything," Asuka wanted nothing more than to sock Touji in the throat. So much of her problems stemmed from that worthless husk of a male. It was Touji's activation test that put Shinji into solitary, it was said solitary that kept Shinji away from the initial battle, Touji had failed even worse than she did at combating the angel, and all that was summed up lovingly in Shinji's miraculous save that cost him his physical form. "Ayanami would have done better, hell a trained monkey likely would have done better," but Asuka was stuck with the pig, who had again 'accidentally' stumbled into her side of the changing area the day before.

Much to Asuka's dismay when Hikari did finally venture into the classroom she wasn't alone. "Touji-chan I told you not to do that in school! What if somebody-Asuka you're back?" Hikari's face went completely red. Propelling herself away from her boyfriend and the hand that was right where it shouldn't be. Breathing heavily, signs that Touji wasn't above hanky-panky on school grounds, "S-so are you going to stay all day today or…?"

"Oh don't feel you need to stop on my account, let him feel you up all he wants. Then he can fall into the girl's side again at Nerv to gape at Ayanami and me. Should we let him play with us too or do you think he has eyes only for you?" Asuka said bored as she played her older games. She had beaten this one so many times, she played for the art style more than anything, so she could talk and play without performance issues. Lowering her hands to the desk, to get a good view of both the new additions, "He hasn't mentioned his 'accidents' to you has he? Misato said she's seen him walk in occasionally."

Her head whipped so fast to face her boyfriend that Hikari's pigtails nearly hit Asuka's face. "Is that true Touji? You said it was only the one time!" the girl put her hand to her chest with a look of betrayal etched on her face.

Waving his hands back and forth widely, Touji seethed at Asuka, "She's exaggerating! I might have walked in more than once, but that base is confusing! I can never till if I'm going north or south since it all looks the same! And it's not like I want to walk in on Red or Blue! They're all depressed since Shin-man…" Touji's face went ashen after mentioning Shinji, eyes fixed on Asuka, he babbled for a moment before sagely shutting up.

Gently shutting off her game, it was the only unit she brought with her so breaking it would make for a boring day, Asuka set it inside her satchel. "He is only gone because of your lack of skill, abilities, and foresight. If Misato could be able to trust you, maybe she'd have given you better than a Kamikaze attack. But since you fail so hard, we had to rely on Shinji. And notice Hikari, that he didn't refute the claim of walking in on Misato," Asuka pointed out. Of course the pig wouldn't deny that…everybody loved Misato regardless of all the woman's faults. Even Asuka loved Misato, it was a more pure love than the bastard's lust…both Touji and Kaji's.

Alternating between both her boyfriend and her girl friend, Hikari panicked. Arms weakly reaching for one then shifting to the other, confusion on who to back danced about her face, a deer before headlights. "H-have you been sneaking peeks at that Katsuragi woman, Touji? And Asuka it's not fair to hold him up to your standards, he's only been doing this piloting for about a three weeks," she tried being diplomatic to weak results.

Pouncing before Asuka could retort, Touji aimed to capitalize on Hikari's point before a flaw could be found. "Yeah, like she said Red! Shin-man and you've been doing this for a lot longer than I have, so what were you expecting? I've only been inside the cockpit a dozen or so times, so don't expect miracles from me. And if the rumors I hear the other guys on base are half true, you're not the high shit you think you are! Something about Misato lying about your scores to keep your ego up," he made no mention of spying on Misato however.

Grumbling under her breath, Asuka gritted her teeth and counted to ten. When her mind hadn't calmed she counted to ten again, and finally one last time. When she stopped seeing red, "Funny, Shin-chan not only piloted Unit-01 on his first time in the entry-plug, but fought an angel. I fought an angel on my first official sortie and won as well. Your argument just shows you ineffective you are. As for those lies!" Asuka seethed again. Of course the men would lie about her scores, put her down and beneath the male pilots. She wouldn't lie, Shinji was a natural and almost as good as she was, but she was better…Misato had said so. She didn't want to doubt Misato, despite all the Kaji BS, not when it came to her Eva, no Asuka would trust Misato on that. "As for those lies, does it matter right now, I'm the only pilot capable of even walking in a straight line!" she hurled.

Without further ammunition to argue, Touji fell silent and Hikari looked happy for that small blessing. Slowly the room began to fill up more and more with students, most looking depressed and worried. A tech in the Eva's cleaning staff let slip about the incident revolving around Shinji and now the whole city knew of the current pilot status.

A few of the clinger girls waved at Asuka and offered a weak word of sympathy, one boy had the gall to hit on her saying that since Shinji was gone she could date without fear of cheating. Said boy was taken to the nurse's office after Asuka broke her game console by punching it into his stomach. Nobody would ever suspect Asuka as a cheater now, girl was loyal to those she loved and as defensive as a junkyard dog.

Without her game to play, Asuka sat and stewed on her hatred and self-depreciation , missing Shinji more and more with each passing moment. Maybe she should take a page from Rei's book and just sit staring at Unit-01's ugly mug as that freak Akagi tried to save him. It would be better than getting the odd looks from her 'classmates'. Noticing the lack of the third stooge, she instant messaged Hikari, "Where is Aida?"

Hikari's response was quick and to the point, "His father was transferred after the last battle. Something about his department being ruined during the battle, so Kensuke moved to Tokyo-2."

Opting to at least stay the rest of the day, Asuka ate lunch alone on the roof. The idle thought of hanging out with the few remaining girls was squashed by her lack of care. Hikari might have made for good conversation but, as she spied from the roof, Touji was leading her around like a love struck kitten. From her vantage point, Asuka saw the couple try to hide from the others for a private moment. "Guess Shinji deserves even more credit, that jerk was over and done in minutes," and Asuka doubted Hikari enjoyed those few moments.

Actually paying attention to class for a change, Asuka found it fun to count the inconsistencies and outright lies in the old man's lecture. But the sheep needed to hear the soothing barking of the dog to keep them inline. Let them have it, saccharine lies compared to hard truths. She'd not have that herself, no she wanted to know what things were and as close to real as humanly possible. Being made of firmer stuff, she wasn't afraid to know. If Akagi failed and couldn't save Shinji, Asuka wanted to know. If Kaji wanted her out of the apartment to have his unadulterated control over Misato, Asuka wanted to know. If the commander wanted to revoke her status as the Second Child…

Once Hikari let the students go for the day, again Asuka contemplated talking to Hikari but that damn jock was keeping her away. No matter, Asuka truly didn't NEED anybody. Those she wanted to be with were simply that, desired not needed, Misato and Shinji were not required for life, they just made it bearable. Alone again, she hated that word but was old friends with it, she headed in to Nerv. No tests today, but she'd sit with Ayanami as the albino held her vigil on the catwalks overlooking Unit-01.

Maybe they'd talk this time, or possibly Ayanami would ignore her again to stare unwavering. Talking to Akagi was on the agenda too, just to learn what if anything the blond gleamed. Hope…Asuka had hope that her Shinji would return, and a deep private part of her almost considered praying. She didn't want to be alone. That dark private place, unknown even to her, cried out for the death of her loneliness.

And that was why she sat by Rei's side for four hours in quiet contemplation. Her attempts to rouse the blue hair into conversation failed, but a small part of Asuka was ok with that. Why lie and talk to somebody when you didn't care. In that, Asuka respected Ayanami and as the days stretched on they did speak, if only a little. Asuka had been right about Rei, girl was strange and awkward but worthy of knowing.

X-X

He was almost there, almost to the point of throwing in the towel or the next best thing and finally speaking his mind to Misato. A little over a week since Shinji' absorption, Kaji found himself sitting in the remains of the old command deck just to avoid reality. This wasn't what he wanted his life to be, never once had he thought it'd become this much of a wreck. But a wreck it was, and the storm that caused said wreck was of German origin. While the initial gale was his own fault for not keeping it in his pants, the following maelstrom had the official designation of Hurricane Asuka, sorry Hurricane Soryu as it now had to be.

Getting out of the abandoned chair, Kaji popped his back and kicked at rubble. "Lucky we have a backup bridge," he mourned the passing of the nicer place in the headquarters. But with a new window to the outside Geo-Front complements of the angel and Shinji's saving of them, it wasn't structurally sound. Repair crews were slated to begin repairs with the week, but Kaji doubted he'd ever command from the 'repaired' bridge. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Guess I should go check in, see what new terrors we have to deal with."

Leaving the bridge, he spared it one last look around, memories faded with time flashed up making him recall the simpler times. "Just Ritsuko and me, and then came Shinji and I was happy," he pried the door open as it fell off its hinges since he had entered. But life didn't want him to have the simple comforts of life it seemed. Asuka, how he hated that girl but at the same time he couldn't fault her for her attitude. It was Misato's fault more than anything, Asuka and he were just the victims of Katsuragi's idealized world.

Walking with one hand on the wall, stepping over the cracked and buckled walkway that looked like crinkled tinfoil, Kaji felt it building. "Day in and day out that kid just bitches at me," and the real pain was she was right. Kaji agreed that Suzuhara was more liability than not, Ayanami being a far superior pilot. The fact Misato requested he follow the Fourth Child to the changing rooms to keep his peeping down was testament to that. But as much as Misato either not seeing or caring how Asuka hated him, she didn't listen to his comments about it. So he lived with one woman blindly in love with the idea of being with somebody, and her daughter that saw the truth. Kaji wanted out, wanted back to the person he really wanted to be with.

Waving at the few people that crossed his path, Kaji wouldn't lie to himself totally though. Being with Misato wasn't bad, he cared about the woman no doubt. But he loved Ritsuko, not that Ritsuko seemed to reciprocate it anymore. The rumors about Ritsuko were spreading, and he had the sneaking suspicion they were right. 'Akagi's gone off the deep end', 'Doctor Akagi is drinking on the shift', and worse were keeping the rumor mills happily fed with fresh contents. It didn't help that the only thing Ritsuko worked on anymore was saving Shinji and drinking at home, that bitter hit of guilt wormed deeper into Kaji's mind.

"So how do you like the new digs?" Kaji asked as he stepped into the decidedly smaller confines of the sub-bridge. Finding Makoto and Maya had somehow started to mend their broken friendship, very slim but some progress, Kaji wasn't shocked to see them conversing when he walked in. Misato, his body reminded him he still found her achingly beautiful while his mind called up the Asuka baggage, smiled warmly at him and waved him over. Taking the woman's waiting hand, "You liking the cozier bridge, babe?" Until he made the final push, Kaji wasn't burning any bridges.

Trailing her fingers against his as she pulled away, public displays of affection weren't normally allowed, Misato reached for the mountain of reports she had. "If by cozier you mean smells bad, cramped, and ineffective for our needs, then yes I like it," ever the joker despite the sour atmosphere. Reading from the headlines of her reports, "Going to take months to fix, if we get the budget, the sewage is shot, and the city is threatening lawsuits against us for not being more active against the angel. On top of that Asuka skipped school again!"

Right to the heart of the matter as always, Asuka, Kaji just grinned and bore it. "Not like she needs to go. Kid has a college degree, most the students are leaving, and would you like to be around her when she's," he grimaced. He now understood why Misato was afraid of Asuka's 'black' mood, it was scary. The girl, when they first met, had been positive, glowing, and narcissistic. Now Kaji was worried he'd find her standing over a dead Pen-Pen offering the bird's carcass to reclaim some of the things she 'lost'. Trying to shift the topic he asked, "She still sitting up with Ayanami watching Akagi work?"

"Yes, those two seem to get off staring at Unit-01, as if they're trying to summon Ikari-kun back by will alone," Misato did smile a little. Putting the documents back down, half of them not even reviewed yet, she listed against Kaji. Softly, secretly, she commanded, "Tell me everything is going to be alright? Promise me that Asuka is going to get over this, that if Shinji-kun doesn't come back she'll not go with him? P-promise me you'll stay? I know things haven't been great between Asuka and you…and that's strained things between us, but promise me?"

It always happened like this! Whenever he was certain he was finished, that it would be better to cut off the limb rather than let it get gangrene, Misato tossed the emotional blackmail! If he left now, she would blame him for everything that happened, and if she did something stupid it was his fault! He didn't want Misato dead, didn't want her hurting or in pain, but he just didn't feel this relationship working. "I promise babe," he kissed her forehead and felt sick inside, "Everything will get better. Akagi will find a way to bring him back, it's her whole world right now. And your girl is stronger than we give her credit for."

"My girl, not our girl," Misato nodded to herself with a selfish smile and pushed away from Kaji. Giving her cheeks a small slap, she headed to the chatting pair, "So what are you two up to? Not going to start fighting again are you?" Nobody was safe from Misato's teasing, and she teased a lot when nervous or worried. Kaji knew it as a defense mechanism of hers, if she dwelled on private matters to long she abused those around her.

It was Makoto that spoke up first, always quick to leap at Misato's little whims, "Rerouting defensive matrix's to avoid the damaged parts of the Geo-Front. And setting up the next trial for the Fourth Child, his first actual physical sortie since the battle." He didn't look at Misato, but he did lean a little closer to her, almost touching but never getting the bravery up to make the move.

Sheepishly, Maya tried to hid her actions in turning her monitor off, it was of Akagi in her lab working. Hiking her thumb at Makoto quipped, "As long as he doesn't get too smart with me, I'll tolerate him. He's been better since the angel, but only passingly." While she had been more accepting of the one-time betrayer, Maya did have a way of putting distance between them in most things. That bridge was gone, a light friendship was the most she would ever offer it seemed. "A-any news on the salvage operation? I know Akagi-sempai has been referencing a lot of old data from the Magi, but she doesn't talk about things at the apartment," she looked fugitively at Kaji.

Having watched her little act of stealth, Kaji wasn't going to let the timid girl off the hook. "You'd know better than us, Ibuki-kun. You were just watching her right?" he did wonder still why Maya was so fixated on Ritsuko. Just glad the scientist had somebody other than a fourteen year old in her corner, he didn't care as long as it was genuine. Picking up on the little tidbit Maya ended with, "So you've been at the apartment lately? Are the cats doing good…any truth to the drinking rumor?"

With all eyes on her suddenly, Maya blushed just a smidge. "W-well the black one looks a bit sick, but the white one is fine. As for Sempai," she shut up and looked at her balled hands. A war was going on inside the timid girl's mind, calculations running and evaluations of outcomes played out on the crease lines in her brow. In the end, after looking at Misato, "I think one of you need should talk to her. She might-she might need help. I think she's hiding her drinking and a f-few other things."

"Maya, did something happen at her apartment? Something you're not telling us?" Misato knelt down to get a good look of the tech. Keeping the woman from moving, Misato was all business, "Is it a personal matter, business, or something else? We know you're friends with her, we-we're her friends too regardless of the past. What makes you think we need to do this?"

Whatever happened at the apartment, Maya wasn't saying as she clammed up tight. "J-just one of you should talk to her is all. If you think she needs an intervention or even just a good group talk I'll be all for it. I'm worried about her, she's taking this salvage so seriously that it worries me," Maya forcibly shifted away from Misato and back to her work.

Not liking how Makoto helped himself to a free look at Misato's backside, Kaji was all for moving the woman away from the peeping tom. The Section 2 reports on Makoto's actions were to be expected, a lot of money on web-sites requiring a credit card, he tried contacting Aoi once a month, and a healthy booze intake. Just what any guy that lost the girl he had would do. Leading Misato back to the waiting stack of papers, "I'll go talk to her. If anything she'll be angry enough at me to actually tell me the truth."

Nodding, Misato tugged on her collar, one of her tells of relief, "I didn't want to see Asuka right now. Not after our fight about school this morning. J-just don't stay down to long and distract her." Misato could beat around the bush like an expert, but Kaji read the lines loud and clear. 'Don't spend to much time with Ritsuko.'

Finding Ritsuko was easy, the woman hadn't left the side of Unit-01 while at base unless she had to. She poured everything she had into the mission. Pouring over old documents about a similar case ages ago, running theorems and hypotheses through the Magi, giving her all to salvage Shinji, Ritsuko was dedicated to the task. It gave the staff hope to have somebody do dedicated, but they never stayed long or saw the feverish look Ritsuko wore. No they saw the blond working, thanked her, and left.

As Kaji approached her, he cast an eye up at the catwalk closer to Unit-01's face and found Asuka and Rei sitting there. Asuka appeared to be talking at Rei, but Kaji thought he saw the pale girl reply once or twice but couldn't be sure it wasn't 'shut up'. Rei…Kaji was even more terrified of that girl and what she represented now. Having stolen into Ritsuko's lab, sadly guessing she hadn't changed her password since the breakup, liberated some of Rei's samples. The results were telling, Ayanami wasn't wholly human, he could bet what the other aspects of her genetics were. That went a long way in proving what those spare bodies were for, and Rei's connection to the Dummy plug. Simply put, Kaji suspected those clones WERE the Dummy plug cores.

As if sensing his approach, Ritsuko spun around to face the man, thermos in hand. "What brings you down here? I wrote a report about my findings already, I'll have a working prototype shortly," she was casual in her dismissing nature. Sipping her drink, she rubbed at her eyes, "Maya sent you didn't she? She tell you about the little incident at the apartment last night?"

"Let me see that thermos Ritsuko, that's all I need to see," Kaji knew the girls were watching them now. Whatever reason the First and Second Children had, they were opposed to anything hindering Ritsuko. Feeling the need to press Maya for more information about the previous night, "And no, Ibuki-kun hasn't said anything other than she's worried about you. We all are, you're working yourself too hard on this. The Commander said you even refused to allow others to help." He held his hand out pleading with the Gods that Ritsuko would just hand it over…the gift he got her for their fourth anniversary.

Sealing the top of her beverage, Ritsuko tossed it at Kaji without hesitation. "Well that's good, yesterday wasn't by best day. Though I doubt she visits anymore," she shrugged without care and turned back to her work. Solely focused, "And I'm not overworking on this, others would just slow me down. Without Shinji we'll likely not live much longer so the faster I work the better. He'd do the same for me if he could, in his own way." She continued muttering something but it was to soft for Kaji to hear.

Taking the thermos, Kaji felt the heft and heard the sloshing around, it was half full. Gripping the top, he wanted to just throw the thing into the coolant below the catwalks and trust Ritsuko. But if he overlooked this, if Ritsuko was self-destructive he'd never forgive himself for not being there for her when she needed, not after all the pain he thrust upon her. Unscrewing the lid, he poised the to under his nose and took a deep breath. Gagging hard, the pungent stench of a vodka and rum mixture assailed his nose, "R-Ritsuko you're…why?"

"Helps me think, keeps me focused, and keeps my mind off of you," Ritsuko swiped it back and took a drink. It dribbled down her lips and stained her white coat. "Keeps me from remembering all the lies you told me, all the things we did, and that if Misato died it'd make my happy as I'd have a chance again. And that I'd trust you again just makes me sick cause I know you'd only betray me again," Ritsuko didn't raise her voice or even sound upset, no she spoke with cool detachment akin to Rei's normal mode of speaking.

Looking up at Asuka, Kaji knew the girl heard Ritsuko's little statement, sure enough the girl was standing gripping the support rail. If fury had a human form, it would have been Asuka at that moment, but she didn't speak, just balefully stared at Kaji until he slunk off to confirm with the others. Ritsuko needed help one way or another.

X-X

Staring up at the suspended entry plug, Ritsuko renewed her vow to save the soul trapped within it. Neigh on three weeks she'd toiled and struggled to formulate a manner of recovering Shinji's physical form and she was sure she was almost there now. It hadn't been easy, but nothing worth doing ever was anymore it seemed. Old documents she had been granted access too, very accommodating of the Commander she noticed, had been instrumental for her plan now. A modified version of the recovery procedure that failed to salvage Yui Ikari was to be done in roughly a week, she would not fail though.

"That's about all we can do for today without risking fatigue related accidents. You did good. Go home, get some sleep, and we'll pick this up tomorrow," Ritsuko ordered her subordinates. It was slower going without Maya helping, but whatever she did while she had blacked out must have scared Maya away. Her new troupe of lackeys weren't too shabby though, and they didn't question her thermos. Never drink more than you can handle, that was her credo at the moment. Plans to cut back already were in mind, it was expensive hobby to keep up.

The crew of eleven all thanked her for her hard work and dedication before rushing out to continue their lives. Several mulled about the staging area conversing or gathering there personal affects before leaving, but all eventually left leaving only three people still in the room. The First and Second Child continued to mull about on the overhanging catwalks, Asuka talking softly with the occasional counter from Rei, and Ritsuko.

Looking up at the plugsuit clad ladies, Ritsuko had to give Asuka credit since she hadn't expected the German to keep coming back day after day. "Turning the lights down to half, turn them off when you leave," she called before flipping half of the switches. Ambient lighting greeted her with its softness, and the floor lamps illuminated Shinji's prison. Tossing her stained lab coat over her console, she traced her hand over the bottom of the plug, "I'll get you out, don't doubt it."

"We have prior engagements, and will be leaving now," Rei called out amid the clatter of the duo standing. The girls made a racket as Asuka bagged all her necessities (music players, books, and portable games) and headed out together.

Whatever those girls had to do, Ritsuko really didn't care. Maya had taken over running the tests while Ritsuko was assigned to this task. The commander had been asking for updates on the 'side-projects' that she had taken up, but her reply was always the same. "I'll work on them after this is done. If we can't salvage the Third-Child a lot of those other projects have less value," she actually giggled. As big and gruff as the elder Ikari tried to look, Ritsuko knew how to manipulate him quite well, older men were always easier to play with. Give them the illusion of control and they bit in hook-line-and sinker.

Grabbing her thermos, it was only tea today, she slid it into her purse and sealed the black leather gift she had gotten as a birthday present two years ago. She only needed to drink on the job one or two days a week now, when the loneliness got too much for her to fend off. But having this little mental diversion had helped wonderfully in keeping her mind off the wreck her life was. "After I save him, I think it is time to hit up the singles market again," she was itching for something not plastic or rubber.

Standing at the doorway, her eyes turned back to the entry plug, her friend needed her and Ritsuko would do all she could. Kaji came at least twice a week to ask about progress, Asuka and Rei eavesdropping on all the important details. Maya would email, call, or make the dwindling visit to the apartment for her own detail updates. Other than that however, nobody really talked to her…nobody made her lunches, nobody cared about HER, just what she could do for them. But if she was successful, she'd get the one person who truly cared back, shame he was too young or she'd have popped the question.

Heading to the changing room, she hated smelling like LCL for prolonged periods, she undressed and listened. Others getting off shift were gabbing about pointless things, but it helped pass the time. Aoyama was expecting a baby, Kuramitsu was cheating on her boyfriend, and Ikutski thought Maya and she had something going on, Ritsuko gleamed. Taking her shower cold, it helped keep the baser thoughts at bay that didn't suit Nerv, she found the changing room empty when she got out. Well mostly empty, "Suzuhara, the male side is over there," she pointed at the door leading to the male side.

"I-uh-y-yeah, sorry Akagi-san," the Fourth Child stood mollified before Ritsuko's sumptuousness. Drinking in the vision before him, the boy didn't move for a few moments before slowly turning and rushing off without another word.

Gazing down at her shaved landing strip, Ritsuko had to admit she felt a shudder of pleasure from that. It made her feel good to know she wasn't unattractive physically. "Mentally however, men just don't…" what was it about smart women that turned men off? If she acted the brain dead bimbo like Misato did at bars, she'd have men lining up to booze her up and take her home. Drying off with one of the provided towels, Ritsuko stopped at her legs and contemplated going a little further. "Bet he's still watching," she thought she heard the boy still there. Nah, she didn't get her rocks off by teasing worthless teenagers.

What little Maya had to say about the Fourth Child's progress was daunting to say the least. He made Rei seem like a piloting goddess, and Rei was the least skilled of the original three. No matter, it wasn't as if Unit-00 could do much right now without an arm and damaged armor.

Changing quickly, Ritsuko wanted to be home with a good stiff drink, some instant food, and turn off the brain. The train had been half loaded with commuters from Nerv, another sign that most of the base had been transferred while repairs were underway. Ascending the stairs to the apartment however, Ritsuko got a sinking suspicion, hadn't there been more cars in the parking garage than normal? Her hand stalled on the door handle, she could hear movement inside. Depressing the latch it gave without her key being read, it was unlocked.

Only three people had keys besides her to the apartment and two of the owners seemed unlikely to visit. Shinji wasn't capable, and Kaji never visited the apartment saving his spycraft conversations for Nerv, which left only one person. Her heart was beating fast as theories and fears of armed men lurking behind the door popped into mind, "Ayanami, did you need something?" she had to hope it was the only other owner of a key. She was half right, Rei was among the visitors but she wasn't the only one. Stepping into the fully lit apartment, Ritsuko found herself the unsuspecting host to the command crew and the female pilots.

Standing at the forefront of the small assemblage of her coworkers was Maya and Kaji. An apologetic look on her face, Maya pleaded, "Ritsuko-sempai, we want to talk to you about how you've been acting lately. I-we're worried about you and how you've been at Nerv." The woman had changed into a casual black t-shirt and jean combo before heading for the little intervention. Gesturing to the chair that was open yet surrounded by 'peers', "Have a seat sempai, please?"

This was just darling, Ritsuko felt like laughing at the sheer audacity of it all. Humoring the people that she doubted really cared she chided, "Oh, so here I thought it was a surprise party for my birthday, but you're all two months early." Taking the open seat, Ritsuko saw the looks on most of their faces and it screamed of not wanting to be there. She had dirt on all of these people, some more than others, and here they came to lecture her. Pulling her thermos out, she set it on the coffee table, "So it's about this is it? Why not give it a try, you might like it. Shinji-kun taught me how to make it."

Looking uncomfortable and slightly annoyed, it was Asuka that leaned forward on the couch and grabbed the silver bullet. After opening it and sipping the beverage, "It's his sweet tea. Haven't had this in…" Asuka proceeded to take a deeper drink and set the thermos between her legs establishing temporary ownership.

Standing on the opposite side of the couch, blocking the television, Kaji's face was colored, "A-Ritsuko, this isn't just about your drinking, and you can't say you haven't been on occasion. You've been obsessing over the recovery project. Pushing yourself to hard will only burn you out, let some of the other members try it…let Maya take a hand so you can relax a bit. We're worried about you is all." Oh how he sounded sincere and caring, almost as if he actually meant it. Misato holding his hand and leaning against him didn't do him any favors though.

Crossing her legs, her skirt showing Makoto and Shigeru her black silk, Ritsuko just tittered as she reclined in her seat. From the corner of her eye she knew at least Makoto was enjoying the view, "No offense Maya, but differential string theory and applied neural kinetics in a wave solution is not your thing so you'd not really be able to replace me. I promised myself I'd bring Shinji-kun back, and I'm little under a week away from making good on that." Asuka's eyes, and maybe Ayanami's too, opened wider at that little factoid. "So unless you have a strong reason to keep our usable pilot corps limited, I'll be heading in tomorrow as usual," let's see them counter that.

"You could tell us what you have planned, Ritsuko, rather than keep it secret," Misato took a step away from Kaji closer to Maya. Rubbing her elbows, arms crossed, Misato was bound and determined to win as she always was, "If you're so close, as you claim, it shouldn't be a big issue for somebody else to take over. You just have to tell us what you know, and we'll take care of everything." Oh that sick smile, fake sympathy and care was so phony it was terrible.

But if they wanted truths, well Ritsuko was going to give it to them, let them feel a little of what she felt. Knowledge was power, but it was also a curse to be born, and Ritsuko knew an awful lot. Casually reaching across the table and tugging her thermos out from between Asuka's legs, Ritsuko felt how the metal had warmed from those young thighs. "You want to know my secrets, Misato, do you really? But where should I start?" she'd play coy, let the fools dig their own graves. She didn't want to hurt Ayanami, that girl had enough pain in life so she was exempt, but the rest…well there was a time to nurture as well as a time to destroy.

Makoto, who had helped himself to one of Kaji's old beers left in the fridge, had opened the can, "Why not start with something Ibuki-san can use?" He flinched the can at the woman, a small drop of foam shot out of the can and landed on the carpet. "That way she can take care of things while you get some rest?" he had finally stopped stealing peeks.

"Something for Maya to use," Ritsuko parroted as she found Kaji intently looking at her, he had to suspect something now. "How about the fact that you've been accessing her files lately, the Section-2 dossier about her movements? How is that for starters?" she leaned forward giving a look down her shirt to the man she just accused. During her very few breaks, mostly to insure she covered anything Kaji had done…old habits…she found Makoto's little cyber stalking.

The can fell from Makoto's hand, spilling on the floor quickly, "But I…it was only the few times. I've wanted to apologize again…trying to…find the best time." He turned to Maya pleadingly, but was met with stone faced anger.

Before Maya could retort though, Ritsuko found it only fair play to continue. "Oh, but don't let her read you the riot act, she stole a copy of the pilots walk through the scrubbers, namely the camera trained on Shinji. What she does with it, I don't know, but maybe she's off that brother kick of hers," Ritsuko was all about being fair. Maya had taken the footage, but Ritsuko didn't know to what end, but there were only so many things it could be used for. "Who next now?" she eyed the remaining.

Shigeru sealed his fate in trying to defuse the situation, "Akagi-san, maybe you should stop this. We only came her to help you, and you talking about stuff like this isn't helping. Being defensive about things only damages your case?" He had moved away from Makoto though, closer to his couch partners, the female pilots.

"Careful Asuka, I've seen logs of him accessing the cameras hidden in the showers. Mostly it's to spy on Katsuragi and Kuramitsu, but he was sampled almost all of the logs," Ritsuko was lapping this up like cream. The little lambs came to the wolf's lair trying to slay her well this wolf wasn't defanged was she? Her latest victim was red faced with anger and sputtering out denials, not that anybody was believing him. "Oh and Shigeru, I overheard that your Kura-chan is cheating on you with one of the Section-2 agents," guess bathroom gossip had its purpose as well.

After Asuka smacked the man hard enough to knock him off the couch, he got up and stormed off. "Are you finished now, Akagi, or are you determined to make everybody in this room hate you?" Asuka huffed. Her legs twitched, her fingers tumbled over each other, but the girl had a lone bead of sweat dribbling down her cheek. "So they're perverts, we get that. Everybody has moments like that…so what…going to tell everybody what Shin-chan an I did in the solitary cell?" Asuka blushed light red.

"Don't you do it, or I swear I'll…" Misato threatened and moved to advance on the doctor. Her advance was stopped by Maya's hand on her arm and a firm disapproving glare. Guess Maya was more on Ritsuko's side despite her little outing.

Thanking Maya for her small bout of helping, Ritsuko was glad she hadn't reveled the details of the log she viewed of the girl in the showers…or the name she called out. "No my dear Second Child, your little secret is something different. Would it shock you to know your scores are fabricated? That you're actually borderline unable to start your Eva? How about how Shinji-kun is so far beyond you now that it's laughable, Ayanami is nearly passing you," Ritsuko watched the fireworks.

First was denial, "No, that's total bull! There is no reason to…" Asuka turned to Misato expecting the cavalry only to find shame and horror marring Misato's good looks. "But then…then I…and…h-how ba-bad AM I? This is…MY fault?" she cried out pleading for it not to be true. "W-who knew?" her head pitched forward, masked by her hair, "WHO KNEW?"

Misato proved her guilt quickly, "Asuka-honey, we just wanted to keep you positive. If you knew about it it'd make you depressed, and that would only make things worse. The command crew knew, and that was it, Shinji-kun and Ayanami didn't know." Misato's fists were tight balls of white trembling rage, seething hatred for Ritsuko and the neigh contained desire to thrash her was emanating out of her.

"How dare you, how dare you say that do her just to hurt her!" Misato was now held back by both Kaji and Maya. "She's just a child! She's doing her best considering everything she's been through and you just…just," Misato again bucked against her confines. "What about yourself huh? What little secrets are you hiding? You with your higher security, access to that horrible room full of…things, what damn secrets are you hiding friend?" she finally stopped rebelling and pleadingly looked from Kaji to Asuka, he let her go.

Watching as Asuka shoved Misato away onto the coffee table and run off, Ayanami was quick to follow, Ritsuko felt she owed it to them a little. "Well thanks for confirming you're trivial attempts at hacking the Magi, as for myself? What secret am I hiding?" she looked bitterly at Kaji. A lone tear cascaded down her cheek, "I had an abortion. Just after Kaji left me for you, I found out I was pregnant. Rather than have him say I got pregnant to keep him from leaving…I took care of it." And she regretted it, but knew it was what she had to do.

The room was silent, Kaji torn between Ritsuko and Misato stood horror struck arms slack at his side. Maya gasped, hand over her mouth, while Misato continued to tremble with unknown emotion. "Now I think I've been a good host, and would like you all to leave, now. I've a lot of work tomorrow," Ritsuko tried to sound civil, but the creak was in her voice for all to hear. They didn't stay though, Misato left without a word, followed by Kaji who stalled in the door for a moment before leaving. Makoto tried to get Maya to leave with him, but she shrugged off his advances and stayed.

They talked a little, but not on anything serious, Maya played friend well…Ritsuko was appreciative considering what she had just done. They woke that morning together in her futon, much to Ritsuko's regret they were clothed.

X-X

It was all going to be over today for good or ill, and Maya didn't know if she actually welcomed it. If things went well she'd be overjoyed, but if it failed she would have rather lived with the hope of future success. Her apartment was quiet, she had insisted that she stay at her place today rather than sleep at Ritsuko's. Her ferret needed to be tended to and demanded some attention and playtime. But the week since Ritsuko's little outburst had seen three nights of Maya staying over to keep the wreck of a woman company.

Oh Maya still respected Ritsuko as the genius she was, but now she saw partially to the woman behind the delusion. It was amazing how Ritsuko had hid the pain she was living with for so long without anybody knowing, how she masked the fact she had at one point been with child. So while the other bridge crew gave Maya odd looks for siding with 'the traitor', she saw the sad truth Ritsuko hadn't done anything wrong. What had Ritsuko actually done but told the truths that they wanted hidden.

Yes there was shame in what they had done, her in particular, that they hadn't wanted others to know. But was Ritsuko a demon for throwing those details into the light of day? Maya didn't think so. So the others knew she had helped herself to some footage of Shinji in the buff…not her proudest moment. Since the news of her brother came to light, Maya had strived to distance her feelings for the young pilot and her brother. The odd result of that was, Maya realized that age aside Shinji was a very likable young man. Far better than the men she had dated, knew, or interacted with normally. She wasn't going to make a move on him though, hard to do when he wasn't technically alive, but even then Asuka had him wrapped around her finger.

Eating her breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs, Maya didn't really feel hungry but ate out of obligation. It wouldn't do for her to be tired due to malnutrition on the day of the salvage, nearly a month since the last angel. Dry toast and runny eggs though, her stomach turned and tossed in annoyance and anger but accepted them. Kamo ran past her leg to remind that ferret's need food too, Maya saw to that after she cleaned her dishes.

Slipping out of her sleep attire, an oversized blue shirt and biking shorts, and into her non-flattering work clothing Maya felt uneasy. "What if it fails?" she asked her pet. The ferret didn't answer, to busy gorging on dry crisps of food, not that Maya expected it. She had her own fears of what failure would bring: death. Having oversaw the last sync test, demanded by Asuka, Maya had been present for the breakdown. Girl just took the news so bad, Maya had never seen the girl cry or even get emotional, but you could tell by looking at the Second Child that the winds were not filling the sail.

Sliding her wallet into her back pocket, no bags for her today, Maya set out to greet the morning sun. Hopefully it wasn't a sign of things to come though, as the sun was hidden behind ominous clouds that threatened rain. Grabbing a newspaper from off the bench at the station, she paid the news headlines little attention. Petty crime was up, home prices were down, and the city planning commission was up in arms over construction costs. Nothing she cared about, her apartment was far away from Nerv and the general effects of Tokyo-3 proper.

She took her customary seat in the corner once the train arrived, it kept potential letch's at bay. Idle thoughts of calling Ritsuko to insure she woke up rattled around in Maya's mind, but she opted not to. If Ritsuko was still asleep the woman needed it, if not she was likely at Nerv already. How much suffering had that poor woman endured silently? The one grope Ritsuko got in that drunken night, one hand north while the other south, had rattled a lot of Maya's confidence in the woman and their friendship. But she was a big enough person to look past that, at least after the outburst at the attempted intervention.

"Is it so wrong though? I mean…I can't say I never thought about being with a woman," but Maya knew she didn't see Ritsuko like that. Her head jerked as the train stopped to let more commuters on, not many and fewer than the day before. Knowing herself, and starting to be more honest too, Maya knew she was a crooked arrow but a mostly straight one. "Here you go," she handed the paper to an elderly woman that had been eying it without speaking.

As loath as she was to admit it, if Maya had to pick a woman to try something with Katsuragi was more her type physically and that was why she vowed never to try. As for her taste in men, well after getting drunk alone last night and thinking about it, she allowed herself to be more earnest. For a short time she thought Makoto was a nice man, but that changed with his betrayals, and as time moved on…she did admit Shinji was a fine catch. Age limitations being more lax since the global depopulation known as Second Impact, it wasn't as if she was to much older than him. Kind, supportive, good cook, attractive, and either her first few boyfriends had been very lacking or Shinji had hit a growth spurt in an odd area.

Getting off the train at her stop, Maya chastised herself for her foolishness. "No reason to even think about that, I do hardly know him," she ran her card through the reader. A few trips to Ritsuko's, seeing him at base, and the reports she idly read on her off time…she knew him but he didn't know her. "Stop thinking about this, he is to young…and you'd be abusing…he's with…STOP IT!" she yelled at herself to stop her whirlwind of thoughts. Some were for, some were against, many rebelled saying it was stupid, subtle whispers said it would be worth the effort, and yet the most said any relationship was to much hassle.

"Stop what Ibuki-san?/You ok?" Rei and Asuka asked in unison as they rounded the corner of the hallway. They stood in school uniforms, Asuka looking paler and depressed while Rei had a hint of agitation and worry.

Taking a step back, hand covering her mouth Maya felt a burning sensation in her stomach at her shame. "Ever have a thought you want to leave your mind but won't? Like a fly buzzing around and no matter how hard you think you squashed it, damn thing pops back up?" Maya played off her sleep addled delusions. Seeing those two girls together had been so odd a month ago, now they were so oft together it was odd to see them apart. Added to the strangeness was fact that apparently Asuka moved out due to Misato's lies and into Ayanami's apartment.

Eyes brightening up a trifle, Asuka's lips curled up lightly, "Yeah, happens when I get song lyrics in my head but can't remember the title. Just keeps whirling around until I go look it up." As quickly as the joy came, it fled from Asuka, pushed off like an opposing magnetic charge. Briskly heading to the elevator, "You're going to the salvage operation right?" Rei followed suit but didn't speak, if anything that was the norm. If Asuka and Rei were friends, roommates aside, they weren't close. Asuka talked, Rei listened that's all people saw.

Giving the girls a semi-wide space Maya nodded and entered. Hitting the button for the floor, "I'll be helping Ritsuko-sempai the most for it. S-so I hear you two are living together right now? Have a fight with Katsuragi-san?" Maya had only heard offhand about the events, but apparently Asuka had blamed the obfuscation of her scores squarely on Misato, and had actually thanked Ritsuko for being honest. Trying to lighten the mood, it would be terrible if it got much dower, "I remember my first roommate in college, girl was a pig and had her boyfriend over far to much to let me study in peace."

"Soryu does not disturb my reading," was all Rei said. She bounced slightly on the balls of her feet, but her face betrayed nothing. Girl's appeared dead to the world, but her body was moving with excessive energy. Almost as if she was afraid of the salvage starting without her being present for it. Moving to the crack in the elevator door, "As for intercourse, as Shinji is not present and Soryu is faithful, it has not been an issue."

The elevator dinged as the tiny box descended, Asuka fidgeted from time to time, but kept her mouth shut. Only after the door opened, Rei leaving through it like a bullet, did Asuka speak up bashfully, "I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I was…am angry at Misato for hiding the truth from me. I was lying to myself thinking I was getting better, I need to…if the reason is…" Asuka swallowed hard and clenched her eyes shut, "Is Akagi doing alright? Betting she's getting shit for saying what she did, I respect that."

"Better, she's doing better. You better catch up with her, or she'll leave you in the dust," Maya pointed at the shrinking form of Rei. The two shared a look, Maya wanted to say something else but the haunted look stole any words of comfort Maya might have said. Asuka left her, Maya gave the girl some time to go before following. "That girl looks like she's going to do something rash," but what Maya wouldn't even try to contemplate.

She found her question about calling Ritsuko had no merit, the woman was busy working already once Maya entered the testing area. It was mostly empty, Maya felt contempt for the commander for not being present. She saw Kaji and Misato from the command bridge, and the other scientists that would be assisting in the procedure, but that was it. "Do people think so little of the pilots?" she couldn't think of a reason more people wouldn't want to be there.

"Get to your station, Maya, we're about ready to start," Ritsuko didn't bother looking up from her station. The woman was focused and driven to her goal, and that goal was salvaging her roommate and the highest performing pilot.

Rushing to the woman's side, Maya nodded, "Sorry sempai, was distracted." Whether Ritsuko cared about the cause or not Maya doubted the woman would comment and wasn't wrong. Having drilled the procedure into her brain over the last few days, Maya was as ready as she was going to be for this. "We'll get this, nothing can stop us," she hoped she wasn't damning them.

The next twenty minutes were full of anticipation, nervousness, and when things went wrong Maya panicked. "The rhythm is all over the place! The plug is refusing to stay sealed! W-we've failed!" she said utterly defeated as the LCL spilled out. Falling to her knees, Maya heard the muffled shout of Asuka and a loud swear from Kaji. Turning to Ritsuko, Maya's heart wrenched up in her chest, "S-sempai?"

Standing with her arms at her side, eyes glistening with tears, Ritsuko Akagi sobbed bitterly. "No…not again…why does…why does everything I love leave…GIVE HIM BACK YOU BITCH!" Ritsuko grabbed a nearby clipboard and chucked it at the suspended and plug. Falling to her hands and knees, the woman grabbed and hugged Shinji's empty plugsuit to her chest, "Why…why again…"

A moment later a loud pop, meaty and wet, was accompanied by the form of Shinji Ikari being found lying on the ground nude and sleeping. It took all of five seconds for anybody to recognize the event, it had been Ritsuko, and she refused to let go of him until he was checked out by a doctor. She carried him home, clad only in a hospital gown. She called Maya up at three in the afternoon to tell her he had woken up without any visible sign of impairment.

X-X

Rubbing the cat behind the ears, the black ball of fluff vibrated with purring, Shinji opened the door to the apartment with his foot. Nuzzling his face against the sleek animal he tittered, "Glad I got you to the vet when I did, Luna, bet Ritsuko-san will be to." The last two days had been strange, well day and a half really, but what else could he expect. The first half day of being solid again was spent laying in his bed being told by Rei what he had missed. After Rei had left, Shinji and Ritsuko chatted with the doctor staying in his room well into the late hours of the night. During which Luna had jumped up for her customary sleeping spot and Ritsuko's comment about the vet emerged.

Setting the convalescing feline on the ground gently, she scampered off to play with her male compatriot, Shinji pulled the medication and directions out of his back pocket. "Feline diabetes, never knew cats could get that," he marveled at the fact. It would be a bit more effort now, feeding and tending to Luna, but it would insure the cat lived happily and safely for a few more years. Calling out loudly, the apartment was dark despite it being only a little after noon, "Ritsuko-san are you in?"

Kicking his shows off, Shinji checked the lock and spent a moment gazing out the keyhole at Rei's apartment door. The girl who had to be forced to leave the night before informed him of her new roommate, a girl that had avoided Shinji since he woke. "Not good, but after what happened it had to be a scare for her," he shuddered to think how he'd react if it happened to either of them. The A/C rattled loudly as it chilled the apartment far lower than he was used to.

Getting a drink from the kitchen, no sight of Ritsuko meaning she likely was called into Nerv despite her saying they were giving her some time off. "I'll have to thank her, she worked so hard in," he shook his head hard. It wasn't a good idea to think about the event in question. The more he tried though, the harder it was to suppress the images that had assaulted his mind while he was strapped in Unit-01. Sitting at the table, the can of juice languished in his hand, "Was it real or just…I know the parts with them wasn't really-real, but some of the other bits.

Feeling the warm body brush up against his legs, Shinji was brought back to reality by the greedy pets. "Vet says we need to feed you more wet food," he got out of the chair and headed to the food. It didn't take long to drive the gluttonous beasts into a fervor once he opened a can and put it on two plates. Watching as Luna ate hers quickly then brutishly pushed her male compatriot away from his plate, "Like Asuka and me at times aren't you?"

Maybe some television would be good, while he did have a mound of school work to make up for Shinji had hoped Asuka would help him with it. At least they could START with the school work, he wanted to spend time with her more than anything. Turning off the light in the kitchen, the storm clouds made the apartment appear much darker than the time would have him believe. Distracted by the balcony, Shinji headed outside to observe the city for a moment. "A month, I was gone a month and it seems a lot has changed since then," Asuka and Misato's relationship not the least drastic.

Rei and Asuka getting along better, Rei claimed it was tolerating each other, but Shinji was happy regardless. Rei needed more people in her life, more happiness, and in time maybe it would be more than tolerating. He didn't know much about Asuka's situation other than what Rei told him, why she was avoiding him though he'd hopefully get an answer. Ritsuko's attitude was also different, before his incarceration she had been a little off, leaving him worried. But after yesterday, well she was smiling, accommodating, and just a pleasure. Owing it up to his convalescence, Shinji bet it wouldn't last to long before the cool, clinical, but occasionally teasing Akagi returned.

The people on the street moved about casually under the watchful eye of Shinji. People came home for lunch, couples walked lazily about the street, and the sense of life was permeating. "Two more days before I go back to school, tomorrow is Nerv," he twirled around and leaned against the balcony. "Maybe I'll try and talk to Kaji-san," that brightened his mood more. Reaching for the sliding door, "Wonder if he could explain what I saw."

Visions of Ritsuko, Rei, and Asuka merging into one being, all asking 'to become one' with him, didn't take a lot of thought to come up with a few ideas of what that meant. Having been with Asuka now, she called the act that once, and he agreed it felt like that to a degree. But why would he think of Rei and Ritsuko like that? His relationship with Ayanami was awkward yes, but didn't think he wanted that type of thing from her. Same went with Ritsuko, he had warmed up remarkably to the woman over the months. Dramatically more so since Kaji had left, with only each other now it was hard not to. But Shinji held the small hope that somewhere somehow the rift between his surrogate father and mother would mend.

"Mother," Shinji's hand gripped the door handle tighter. Yes there was that too, and this wasn't the first time he suspected it either. First had been when he had…died…while being in that void, even before that Unit-01 felt comforting. But after his month as LCL, Shinji just felt that his mother was there, the vision of her had been so warm and enticing. Pleading for him to stay but telling him to leave, it hurt his head to think about it. "Enough of this, I've got to clean. Ritsuko-san was a bit sloppy while I've been…aw-w-way," he had stepped into the apartment and his hand fell limply to his side.

Maybe his thoughts for Ritsuko weren't so friendly after all, not if what his tightening pants told him. Clenching his nose, "I don't…she just forgot that I'm back." But the large plastic green cup at her side pointed at something else too.

Lying on the couch sleeping, Ritsuko was clad in nothing but her undergarments. One of her hands cupped her bust while the other was snuggly fit under the silk restraints and between her legs. On her side, the woman snored softly, twitching every so often eliciting moans of the quite pleased sort. The ever present cool air from the A/C made the one point not covered by Ritsuko's hand very evident. "Mmmm…more," she sleep murmured as her hands wiggled a bit more.

Through sheer force of will, and the image of an angry Asuka in his mind, Shinji grabbed a blanket and covered the sleeping woman. The covering acted like magic, as the moment she was covered Ritsuko clutched at it and drew it closer against her as she drew into a ball. "Guess you've been having a bad time too," he fixed some of her hair that had fallen out of place. It was a shame, the more he got to know Ritsuko the more he came to wish for the best for her. "Why doesn't better things happen to you?" he wondered aloud.

A beautiful, intelligent, yet ignored woman. Such things just shouldn't happen. Shinji felt a spike of hatred laced with a smidge of jealousy at Kaji. Misato was a nice woman, Shinji wouldn't deny she was a captivating woman, but why had Kaji tossed away a rose such as Ritsuko? "He should have been nicer to you," he murmured. Memories of Ritsuko's old self and her current state, Shinji could see himself going the same way if Asuka ever…no…she wouldn't.

Almost sensing Shinji leaving, Ritsuko's hand snaked out from under the blanket and gripped his wrist. Not waking, she yanked him closer and as he stumbled and fell onto the couch she wrapped her one hand around his shoulder. "Don't go…lonely," she muttered something that might have been Maya or just random gibberish.

Warm and inviting, Shinji didn't resist at the moment. Still shocked from the ordeal, and without the woman he wanted to be with, he succumbed to the welcoming embrace. It wasn't indecent, well not at the start anyway. Just lying upon the blanket, with of Ritsuko's arms around him, he just let her have a moment of peace. It wasn't like he had anything he really wanted to do other than relax and not think about the entry plug. "Sleep well Ritsuko-san, you need it," she had looked so tired the night before.

After an hour of laying on the couch, going into and out of sleep himself, Shinji felt Ritsuko starting to stir and wake. Sliding out of her slackened grip, he made his way into the kitchen, just a little red faced. During one of his bouts of light slumber, Ritsuko had apparently pulled him closer and nestled his head against her silk covered bosom. That had been a startling wake up call, and here he thought Asuka was full bodied, well his girlfriend had time and opportunity to grow it seemed.

Twenty minutes later, Ritsuko shuffled into the kitchen with the blanket wrapped around her. "I assume you are to thank for this?" she drew it up and covered her lips coyly. Sitting as best as she could, the blanket did fill up a lot of space, "Sorry about…well sorry. Not used to having you back yet, and after a month I got a bit too casual about sleeping where and how I want." Taking up Shinji's abandoned can of juice, she swirled it before taking a swig. "How did the vet go?" she asked setting the can down.

Overwhelmed by a sense of protectiveness, Shinji was stunned momentarily by the vulnerability he saw in Ritsuko. "It went…well if we hadn't gotten her check out the vet said she might have died in a month or so," he went on to describe the meeting in greater detail. Explaining Luna's condition, the preventative steps, and the changes it meant Ritsuko sat nodding and petting said cat all the while. After the lengthy discourse, "D-did you want lunch, it's a little late or early depending on how much sleep you got."

Forcing the sleeping bundle on her lap to wake and jump down, Ritsuko stood up and shuffled over to Shinji. Not giving the lad a chance to react, she drew him into a hug, resting her head atop of his and not caring that she was pressing him to her mostly exposed skin. "That would be lovely Shinji-kun. Thanks for…thanks for everything alright. Living with me has got to be hell, everybody else thinks so and leaves in time, but you've stayed. T-thank you," she hugged him tighter for a brief moment.

Overwhelmed at first by the rather intimate embrace Shinji relaxed after he heard the woman's gratitude. This wasn't anything other than somebody seeking comfort from where she could, lord knows he knew how she felt. Tentatively mimicking her hold, just with a lot less pressure, he basked in her warmth. "It's not an issue Ritsuko-san, I like being here. It's comfortable, welcoming, and somebody has to keep an eye on you and make sure you're eating good. If I wasn't here you'd hardly get enough nutrition," he teased as lightly as he could.

Swaying and laughing at the brief attempt at banter, Ritsuko's hands glided down to just above Shinji's waist and held him. "Not as bad as Misato maybe, but I'm not the chef you are that's for sure, and those two ingrates would be far worse off," she let out a content sigh and release the boy. Gathering the blanket back around her, "Think I'll go put some better cloths on and take you out for supper instead. Shouldn't be working you so hard the moment you just got back to me."

His blush faded, but only until Ritsuko came back in a very provocative evening dress. Apparently Ritsuko was thinking fancier than fast food, and Shinji quickly changed into something more appropriate. The meal had been good, Ritsuko only drank a single glass of wine, and they chatted of what Shinji had went through and what Ritsuko had over the last month. He left out bits he wasn't sure on, and suspected she did as well. All in all, the day went well, and he was happy to see the smile on Ritsuko's face went all the way to her eyes…she was happy too and he was glad.

X-X

Author notes

Bit longer than I like to make them, but this was one of those types of chapters that needs to take its time. Hope it wasn't to…foreboding but that's the current atmosphere of the story.

Glad you're all still reading, getting up towards the end, it is in sight anyway, so that's something.

Zentrodie


	21. Chapter 21

Standard Disclaimer

Labor Day weekend! Going to just relax and enjoy the pool as much as I can. New TV is here and man was it pricey, but that's life. Going to see a few shifts and changes in this chap, but I think you'll dig it. Bit darker, but then again this time around the official canon it was getting murky.

X – X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 21

"That's all for today, you're down one point," Maya informed the pensive Second Child. "But don't let it get you down, it'll get better in time," she smiled weakly then shut down the channel.

Slamming her fist against the stirrup, Asuka's hair floated forward in the LCL. The showering of rainbow light ended and shrouded her in darkness. Moments later the sense of vertigo and spinning as the plug ejected from the test environment, opened, and drained leaving Asuka dripping and agitated. Two weeks of thinking and worrying since Shinji came back, and Asuka was still dropping points. He was a distraction, a hindrance to her return to piloting…that had to be it.

Climbing out of the plug, leaving a trail of behind her, Asuka forwent the towel opting to just make a mess. Let the janitors worry about it. "I have to get better, I can't be the worst, I can't!" she kicked at her locker with force. The pain worked up her leg to her spine, she hardly registered it. But she loved Shinji damn it! Despite that, she knew what she had to do, cut off the irritant before it goes too much further. Hitting the button on her wrist the suit fell to the ground and she sat back down depression growing.

Damn it, she felt the bitterness swelling again and threatening to overcome her. Punching the locker, her hand splintered a little leaving a small trailing of blood. Cocking her head back, "He'll understand, he's always been able to. It's just…I said we'd try it and it's causing me to be distracted now." Was it her running, no she was doing this for him and herself. If she kept getting worse they'd not survive the angels and what good was love if you were dead. Opening the locker, grabbing her clothing for the date, Asuka clutched them to her chest.

"You alright over her Red," Touji asked sauntering into the woman's side. Walking around the bay of lockers, he came to a standstill upon finding the nude teenager hugging her expensive clothing. Stammering but not looking away he muttered, "I uh-heard a loud bang-on my way for testing…just c-checking." Drinking in the view before him, Touji's eyes went from chest to below.

The pig was here, the worthless pig, and he was staring at her. Only Shinji was supposed to see her like this, but here was Touji invading her privacy. "Get out now, move or I'll tell Hikari about you walking into the shower on Rei," her tone was as flat and dead as her mood. She'd hurt him if he stayed another five moments. Let him see her untrimmed nether region as she shoved her foot between his legs, but Touji was smart enough to run. "Fucking hate him, if he was worth having here," she pulled her clothing on and finally noticed her bleeding hand.

Today was supposed to be the first real date Shinji and she were to have since his return, but she had to do it. Wrapping her hand in a hand towel from the provided Nerv stock, Asuka grimaced. "Wonder what Misato would say about this plan of mine," she stood at the dividing wall between the men's and woman's side. She could hear him, hear Touji unsealing his suit and grunting. "He's such a worthless male," she was disgusted in what she was hearing. Shinji truly was cut from a different cloth. But it was a cloth that was keeping Asuka from getting better, stronger. He had to go, at least until she got her act together again.

Wandering down the hallways of Nerv in a haze of regret and anger, Asuka bumped into somebody who had the audacity to exist. Shaking her head, the LCL that she left there sprayed across them, "Sorry, but I'm in a hurry today. Oh it's you!" Seeing stains of orange on Ritsuko's lab coat, Asuka had a spike of regret. The doctor had saved Shinji, and Asuka was grateful, and Ritsuko had the balls to tell the truth in this building made on lies! No, Asuka didn't blame Ritsuko for telling the truth, it was Misato's stupidity for keeping it from her. "H-how are you doing today?" woman looked a lot better than she had a month ago.

"Running off to meet Shinji-kun at the shopping arcade or is it the park today," Ritsuko asked while wiping LCL out of her eye. Flicking the irritant out, her eye reddened from the solution, she did have a miffed expression from the encounter. Sounding tired but content, "And I'm doing alright. Had a real nice breakfast today. Things are looking better, all other things considered." Leaning in and scrutinizing Asuka though, the woman soured, "You don't look good. Score drop again? Mental state is a factor, limiting stress and other negative emotions might help."

Breakfast, yeah Asuka had left the apartment early to avoid that meal. Rei was a great roommate for the fact that the girl either didn't care or try to interact much. But Shinji still came over to cook for them, two pans to avoid contaminating Rei's food with meat juice. The excuse was she wanted to clear her head for the test, reality was she just couldn't look at Shinji without feeling contempt. He was…better than her, even after the month of living as a solution. Jealousy, anger, and resentment grew from that fact, but she didn't WANT to feel those things for him. That's why she was doing this, end things now before she burnt the bridge completely. In time, she actually did pray that in time she'd get better and then things could go back to how she wanted. Maybe get Kaji out and Shinji into Misato's and…

"Yeah it dropped, but it wasn't that bad. I'm having my…well it's my period so I've been having issues concentrating," Asuka tried to excuse herself. Negative emotions, well she'd be lying if she didn't say Shinji was causing them. Offering Ritsuko the towel with a shrug, "Sorry about the LCL, in a hurry to get to the park. I know he's waiting, he's a dear like that." And he would wait, he had faith, he loved her, so he'd understand what she had to do and why. Flinching her head backwards, "And that spore is finishing off polishing his half inch staff so he'll be late. Guess Shin-chan's genetics are even better than expected."

Favoring Asuka with a laugh, Ritsuko took the towel and dabbed what LCL hadn't already soaked into her coat. "I'd put some iodine or rubbing alcohol and that hand, could get infected," she tossed the towel back. Walking past Asuka, Ritsuko headed towards the training rooms, "As for your Fourth Child, I think we'd be better off with his sister in the plug. If the Dummy System worked I'd…go have fun Asuka." Ritsuko just shook her head and left without another word.

The more time Asuka spent around that sullen beauty, the more she liked Ritsuko. Woman was a breath of fresh air in a room full of stagnant liars. "If Misato could have been," she grunted and headed out of Nerv into the Sunday afternoon. The other staff were smart enough to stay out of her way, good to know they were paying attention. Word about base was that the more her score dropped the less anybody wanted to be around her. "Damn cowards," she considered the train but with the weather being nicer she walked.

A grey cloud cover set in by the time Asuka made it to the park, Shinji sitting at the fountain as requested. It warmed her heart to see, but she had to squelch that. Be strong, don't let him coddle or weaken her! Waving at him, he had actually dressed up a bit and with his training his new physique made him stand out a little. "Sorry it took me so long, I felt like walking rather than take the train," she confessed. Taking the first step she kept herself out of arms reach. Was it worth having one last date before calling in the small breakup?

Either noticing her mindset or not in the mood himself, Shinji didn't try a second time to link arms with Asuka. Gesturing along the path they normally used for their morning jog, "I take it your test didn't go to well? You'll get back into it Asuka, I've faith in you." Smiling softly he kicked at a stray rock in the road. "Rei-san said you were upset this morning, something you want to talk about?" he spoke in measured care.

How was he going to take this, Asuka wondered as she approached a vending machine. It would hurt, more or less than it would hurt her was unknown. But he wasn't going to break, she had confidence in that, "I've a lot on my mind. Test wasn't as bad as expected." She had feared a bigger drop, but at least that didn't happen. "Been wanting to try talking to Misato, but she's been busy lately. Long hours at Nerv or something according to Ryouji . Bastard answering the phone like he owns the place," she seethed. She had tried calling Misato twice to talk, but no luck. Misato had some project she was working on and didn't even tell Kaji about it.

Buying Asuka and himself cans of tea, Shinji handed Asuka hers carefully. Cautiousness overcame him when she waved it off and bought her own. Pocketing the second can, "Anything you want to talk about. I might not be able to help, but talking about things helps. I mean…Ritsuko-san said I should try talking about my experience during the…" He popped the top of his can and sipped it, stealing looks at Asuka as she started walking again. "The things I saw in there…just like with the ball and I d-died. I thought I felt my mother," he whispered just loud enough for Asuka to hear.

Mother…that damn word. "How about not talking about it to me right now. You know how that word and I don't get along," first her actual mother than Misato, mothers were betrayers. This wasn't going well, she saw him flinch at her harshness. Hurting him, she was drawing this out and just hurting him with her uncertainty and cruelty. Others treated her like a bitch or not worth knowing aside from a pretty face, but not him. Why did life have to be so hard? Sipping her cola, she closed her eyes and summed up her courage. Taking a big breath, her chest puffing out, "Shinji, I think we need to take some time apart. Break up so I can get my head back together."

Spinning around, walking backwards, she heard he was still walking in step with her. Damn fear, her body and mind were riddled with it. Peeking at the man she loved, Asuka blinked hard as she saw him. "Look, I still like you, but it's just…you're distracting me from the tests. I can't be thinking about you or worried you'll turn to goop again when I have to deal with my own issues. I'm not saying its forever, but for a while, until I get my mojo back," she reached her hand out for him but drew back before he could take it. Tears stringing the back of her eyes, she fought to maintain control, "S-say something," she demanded after he remained quiet for a full minute.

Finally stopping his forward movement, more a shambling than actual conscious effort, Shinji's shoulders sagged. "I, I was expecting this from the start act-actually. You are out of my league," he came across as defeated. His voice cracked and his was pointed down, "You have to deal with this, it is important to you. M-maybe you can try talking to Misato about this too…A-are you going to wait, o-or is it just over for…for us?" His shoulders shrugged, his can of tea fell to the ground, spilled, and rolled under a bush.

Stepping towards the boy, his pain vibrating out of her and was in sync with her own. She tried to reach for him but he took a step back, she wanted to slap that small sad smile off his face. "Don't do that, don't make this a pity party. You're better than you give yourself credit for," but she didn't want him to move on. And that was what he was asking, 'are you going to date somebody else', and she didn't know. Wasn't like she planned on any of this, "As for us…c-consider us over. I don't want you suffering over this. I do…care for you Shinji, just I have to do this."

He understood, that small head bob was enough for Asuka to know that. But damn did this hurt, maybe she was wrong, maybe it wasn't Shinji holding her back. No, she made her choice, she had to purify herself of all distractions and outside sources for her to re-center herself. "D-don't be a stranger to the ap-apartment either. I-I'll be moving back into Misato's…Rei needs you too. So…so…" she couldn't take that look on his face. Behind the façade of acceptance, Asuka saw pain and heart ache in Shinji's eyes, or was that her own.

"I-I'll talk to you l-later," Asuka quipped and ran off unable to stand it anymore. Coward, she was a damn tiny coward! But she couldn't help it, she couldn't let him see her like this. Asuka wanted Shinji to see her as proud and strong, or he'd be tempted to try and help her. At this point if he had said one word, just one…she'd have caved and gone back to him. Shinji made her feel safe and secure, but that made her weak!

Running all the way the shared apartment with Rei, Asuka didn't know whether it was a lie or not if she planned on moving out. But she couldn't stand the idea of having to hide from Shinji every morning, and Rei needed the emotional support so Asuka couldn't stop that. Throwing the door open, tears now streaming down her face, the young confused woman shuddered against it, pressing her head against the divider. Stupid, stupid…she wouldn't have gotten involved with him if she knew it'd hurt this damn much to get rid of him. "But it's just more proof that…I needed to break up or I'd only get weaker," she slammed her palm against the door trying to staunch the flow of sobbing.

The soft footfalls of Rei sounded her approach to the grief stricken girl. "Has something happened?" Rei asked with a hint of concern. Probing just a bit deeper, "Were you not supposed to be out with Shinji-kun?"

Waving her hand angrily at the girl, Asuka didn't want anybody to see her right now. Her opinion of Rei had improved greatly over the weeks of shared living space, but not to the degree she'd let that happen. "I broke it off…we're not seeing each other," Asuka corrected accurately predicting a confused expression on Rei's face. Not hearing the girl move, "I need time alone, time to get myself back on track, and he wouldn't help me with that." To much had gone wrong to fast, her mind spiraling out of control, Asuka did the only thing she could think of, cut herself out of everything.

"Shinji-kun has helped me get myself when 'his' transgressions were made known," was all Rei said before leaving Asuka to herself imposed misery.

Slumping down to her knees, Asuka kept telling herself it was for the best. In time she'd get her score back, and then she'd force off the tart that tried taking her place. The moment those floozies heard they broke up they'd be all over him, but he'd take her back…right? The sound of Rei's violin didn't answer her, but for some reason she hated the sound. Her call with Misato several hours later, hadn't gone well either. They got in a fight before any actual talking happened, Kaji was eavesdropping, and well Asuka slammed the phone closed, "She doesn't care…not anymore."

X-X

Screwing the panel back in place over one of the Magi brains, Ritsuko nodded with satisfaction. Things were getting better, or maybe she was just getting used to living with less. Either way she was happier, and her roommate was vastly responsible for it. Crawling on her hands and knees out of the crawlspace, Ritsuko stopped at the hatch to watch the other techs moving about. They bustled about, their small lives and problems consuming them more than their real job. It wasn't that her own problems didn't bother her, but she was getting good as shunting them and ignoring them.

"Wonder how the date is going," Ritsuko quipped as she crawled out and shut the grate. If only one of them could be in a relationship, Ritsuko didn't mind that it wasn't her anymore. Asuka was doing Shinji good, his confidence and physical condition increased in spades. Plus as much as she hated to accept it, Ritsuko just couldn't get Kaji out of her mind. Though a few odd dreams of Shinji were making themselves known, she chucked those up to loneliness, lack of a sex life, and depression. "It's good to go Maya, start the tests," she did regret Maya's lack of exploratory nature.

The smile not as bright as it used to be, Maya's head bobbed lightly, "Alright Suzuhara-kun we're going to start now. Please try and concentrate so we can get this finished quickly." Hands dancing along the keyboard, Maya's boredom showed itself as she started humming. Once her hands stalled and stopped their dance, "He's just not getting this as fast as the other Children."

No, no Touji was not pulling his weight even several weeks after training, but Ritsuko never put faith in Unit-00 regardless of pilot. Leaning over Maya's shoulder to get a good look at the feed, she took a moment to bask in the smell of Maya's shampoo. It was mild today, rose peddles, "You going to come over tonight, Maya? Shinji's likely going to be cooking curry tonight." Maybe they'd share a nice drink, or if not maybe she could have one herself and tease Shinji a bit. Rapping the girl's shoulder, "That is unless you want me to have an emergency and come back in."

Having her slight feelings for Shinji shoved before all to see, Maya just blushed and shook her head. "Don't tease me right now, I don't want to give him the wrong impression," Maya pointed at Touji's feed below the camera line. Spinning the chair away from Ritsuko, the young woman got up and increased the distance. Checking a few of the other reads, "This is looking a lot more like it should, I'd say you fixed the problem. As for tonight." Maya stalled out and fiddled with her hands and frowned. A shade of depression marred her, "And it's not a good idea. I've laundry to do tonight, maybe tomorrow."

Her loss Ritsuko thought. Starting a few diagnostics to verify her fixes took, Ritsuko shrugged. "Well if you get done early come on over. Going to be a movie night, hoping to rope Shinji-kun into it since school is out for parent teacher conferences. I think they're trying to close the school due to the attacks," she liked the looks of the tests. Drinking and Shinji…they helped get through the pain of life. Work had lately become harsh again, Misato and Kaji had been all over the base seeing to repairs.

Speaking of the devil, Kaji took that moment to walk into the testing room with a small wave. "Afternoon ladies, coming to check the status of Nerv's resident peeper," Kaji came close but kept a respectable distance. Blowing the steam off his coffee, he stood on the other side of Maya's empty chair to steal a peek. After a sip, "How's Shinji-kun doing? Recovering from his…little accident?"

Damn emotions, she couldn't look at the man but she could still feel him close to her. When would she ever be able to stop feeling this way, it's been months! Eyes clenched so hard shut that she saw white, "He's doing a lot better. Off on a date with Soryu right now, and likely having more fun than we ever had on dates." It was a low blow, but her wit was the only weapon against him that she could use. But she couldn't maintain it for long, "Does want to talk to you though, much as I tell him it wouldn't do much good."

Hissing from either the poor read outs or Ritsuko's comment, Kaji stood back up tall, "Almost up to Ayanami's starting point. Just hope the next angel gives us more time for him to get his act together." Spinning around and leaning against the console, Kaji kept Maya at his right side. Tapping on his side with his left hand, the spy sent a few coded messages to his oldest and most trusted internal source at Nerv.

Seeing and rolling her eyes, Ritsuko knew the bastard had an ulterior motive for coming in. But a sense of giddiness overtook her as he signaled to meet her in the only non-bugged storage closet at Nerv. "Maybe we can just have him self-destruct on top of it while the others contain it," tempting thought if only to cut down on Maya and Misato's complaints. If the kid wanted to peek let him, not like seeing meant anything. Her heart fluttering she made to leave, "Back in a few, need to hit the bathroom, to much coffee. You got this Maya?"

Leaving Maya alone with Kaji, he'd have to excuse himself without rising suspicion somehow. Wondering if he was hitting on the timid girl, Ritsuko walked down the unused and abandoned corridors of Nerv closer to closet. It was stupid, more so on her part, but a small selfish part of Ritsuko wanted Kaji to make a pass at her in the closet. Hopes and wishing Misato again rebuffed Kaji or something bad happened to give him back to her…how pathetic. "But you have to have hope…worked with Shinji-kun," she smiled and opened the door only to see a gun pointed her way. Betrayed again.

Standing with a grim expression, gun in hand, Misato nodded once, "Sorry about this but it's the only way I can get into Terminal Dogma." Taking a step forward, gun pointed at center of mass, Misato loaded the chamber. Spinning Ritsuko around, hiding the weapon between their bodies, "He told me not to do this, but I have to know what Nerv is hiding. You've access, whether you know it or not, so please don't make this hard."

Holding her hands up in submission, Ritsuko lead the way towards Misato's demand. It was the room further down from that dreaded room that used to contain those clones, not that she knew she had access. "You're going to get caught from this Misato, I hope it's worth it. Even you have to know if it's so hard to get into it'll log all access, or have hidden cameras. Days almost over, how about we just turn around and hit a bar. Be like old times, you get drunk and go and sleaze your way into Kaji's bed, and I go home alone. Though I guess I won't be alone with Shinji-kun there," she felt the barrel press hard against her back, no go.

"Just had a very bad conversation with Asuka, not in the mood for jokes. Something happened, didn't have time to listen to her, so just shut up and walk," Misato whispered as she leaned in close to Ritsuko's ear. Their footfalls echoed down the unused corridors as they found the only elevator not in Gendo's office that lead down to Terminal Dogma. Waiting for the cab to arrive, "I'm sorry it came to this, but if nothing else you can say I forced you into this. Not like we're doing favors for each other after what you did to her."

Her hand went to her pocket only to have Misato jab her with the barrel, groaning, "Just getting my card key out. Going to need it to get the elevator to go down far enough. So either let me or shoot me now." Feeling the pressure lessen but not leave, Ritsuko slid the plastic card through the reader and watched the green light flashing. "Your little girl is still failing miserably to improve her score. Before you know it Suzuhara will be better than her. Commander is considering requesting the Fifth Child be pulled," Ritsuko didn't dislike Asuka but the girl was a nice bludgeon to use on Misato.

Shoving Ritsuko into the cab once the door opened, Misato made a point of keeping a palm at the base of Ritsuko's neck as she forced her against the wall. "I have you to thank for that! She was going to get better as long as she didn't know about it. You don't have to see that damn haunted look on her face when she comes home. Bet you don't even care, you drunken whore. Yeah Kaji told me about the guy you found at that wedding. Makes me wonder how safe Ikari-kun is with you now, you're likely to put the moves on him during a blackout!" she grabbed Ritsuko's collar and slammed her forward.

Her teeth rattled and her face hurt from the multiple slams, but Ritsuko considered it a victory. Old friends knew how to hurt each other the best. Forcing herself to turn around, her arm lashing out and smacking Misato hard, Ritsuko's vision swam. "What, not happy I'm taking a page from your book and just using my body to get men? Is that why you're afraid of leaving him alone with me? And here I thought I had no chance. Maybe I'll invite him over to talk to Shinji-kun," she smirked as Misato's eyes hardened. Expecting another slap, she was a little stunned when the gun was slammed into her stomach.

Grabbing Ritsuko's hair as the woman crumpled to her knees, "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, not today. Kaji loves me not you, sorry. Asuka will get better despite your efforts. Now get up and get walking. It's time to see what the commander and you have hidden down here." Keeping one hand on Ritsuko's shoulder, the other holding the lead slinger just at the heart level, Misato kept a steady pace.

The pain starting to subside as they walked, Ritsuko kept up the hastened pace easy enough. Not wanting to push her luck any further, she kept her mouth shut. Antagonizing Misato more might just get her a bullet in the back, and Ritsuko had her goal to live. She'd live to spite them all, Misato more than anybody now. Get herself a good guy, better than Kaji! Yeah, that would show them all…but she knew it was a pipe dream. It wasn't in her nature to date or carouse with men, despite her apparent veneer she was just as shy if not more than Shinji.

"Well I have work to do today, Shinji-kun's making curry and I don't want to be late. How about I leave you the key and let you dig your own grave?" Ritsuko held the card up, a trickle of blood dribbling down her lip. Coughing weakly, "Elevator works without the cardkey if you're worried about me."

Shoving Ritsuko's shoulder, Misato barked, "Open the door already. Let's see what this big door is for." Approaching the small door inlaid into the large Evangelions sized double door, Misato's grip slackened. Stepping to the side, watching as Ritsuko slid the card again, she pushed the doctor out of the way once it chimed and the lock was heard unlocking. "To many secrets here, far to many, what is one mo…" she stopped speaking the moment she walked into the room.

Now this was something Ritsuko had to see, something that could shut up the emotional and upset Misato. "What is it that's able to shut that gob of…oh my," Ritsuko back peddled upon the sight. A giant of white, an angel impaled with a red lance to a cross that was bleeding…was that LCL. The children were…she had her suspicion on what LCL was but it was never angel blood! Her mind, that wonderful and highly performing engine of logic and tactics quickly came to another conclusion. The Evangelions, the Dummy Plug, and Rei likely owed their creation to that thing. All the work she was doing for Gendo, all the special projects originated from their enemy.

In a blind panic of shame, denial, and disgust Ritsuko turned and ran leaving Misato behind. The notion that the woman might shoot her in the back couldn't prevent her from fleeing. How proud her achievements had made her feel, her accomplishments had been fueled by an abomination that had caused untold pain and misery. Softly she could hear Misato calling out to her, but she was already shutting the elevator cab. Panting hard, as she saw everything she had done as a lie…her life a lie. It wasn't her genius that solved the problems, it wasn't her surpassing her mother. No, it was her cheating using a monster…what…what now?

Well for now it was get home and seek what comfort she could. Only two things truly helped her anymore, booze and Shinji while Maya was a dwindling comfort. By the halfway point in her drive she had finally got her breathing under control. A damn angel, why did they need it, how did they know they could use it, and was it the unknown contributor to Ayanami's DNA? Parking taking up two spaces, let the complex complain about it, she didn't care. Walking up the stairs, she finally started thinking clearly after her small slip from sanity, she opened the apartment expecting the smell of comfort food to assail her senses.

Her soothing meal was not to be, and her stomach chilled and felt lowered as she walked in. While it wasn't fully dark out yet, the sun only while she drove home, the apartment was dark. "Shinji-kun, you home?" she hadn't thought the date would last THAT long. Kicking her shoes off, heart rate spiking again, she listened closely to sounds of teenagers exploring forbidden space. Chiding herself for actually wanting to see it, "Think they'd do that here?" What she found doused any randy thoughts she had, even the darker impulse to throw the door open and walk in on them.

There sitting on the couch in the growing darkness was the brooding form of one Shinji Ikari. Circling around him, Ritsuko found him staring blankly out with a dead expression neigh emotionless. He was petting each cat, one with each hand, as they seemingly sensed his discomfort and sought to aid him. Numbly his hands worked the ears of Luna and the side of Artemis.

Something happened, that damn tramp of a girl did something, Ritsuko recognized that face instantly. It was the same she had worn after she learned of Kaji's infidelity. "Shinji-kun, want to talk about it?" she sat at his side and grabbed the hand petting Luna. "Asuka did something right, that's why you're sitting here like this?" only thing Ritsuko could think of that would turn his emotions so quick. It was a truth that Shinji had an odd moment since the accident, but it wasn't this bad.

As if broken from a daze, Shinji's head jerked and shook about for a few moments. "Uh, oh! Ritsuko-san, you're home. It's this late already? I'll get started on cooking…s-sorry I got d-distracted," he stammered quickly and got to his feet spilling Artemis to the ground to run off. He tried to flee, but didn't take Ritsuko's grip into consideration, "R-Ritsuko-san?"

Staring into his eyes, Ritsuko just slowly rocked her head to the sides, "We'll order something tonight. You sit and tell me what happened." He was there for her when she had her dark moments, it was time to repay. He didn't end up saying much, just the bare basics of the 'date', but Ritsuko felt herself angered over the Second's choice. It was a dumb teenage decision, but so was Asuka. After he finished his small story, "Don't worry, Shinji-kun, she'll either come back or you'll find somebody else. Maybe it is a good thing that this happened. Don't…just don't take my experience to heart…things get better."

She had hoped he would have cried or something, shown something other than emptiness. But he didn't, whatever he was really feeling Shinji kept it inside. He perked up over supper, even splitting the cost, but Ritsuko felt she could do something else, something more. Well she had time, Asuka wasn't going to be getting better anytime soon.

X-X

Her lungs ached and her feet felt as if the ground was littered with jagged bits, but despite that Maya felt good as she ran. Thanks to the always on the watch nature of her job, Maya was happy that the random nature of days off provided her two in a row. Her first day off was spent lounging about the apartment, playing with her ferret, and avoiding others, just a day to herself. It was all well and good until she got on the scale, it seemed silly to worry about five pounds considering the state of the world but she did. So her second day off to a start with a good run.

Slowing her pace, her jogging outfit clinging to her as a second skin, she leaned against a post to catch her breath. "Guess, I'm more out of shape than I thought," she panted as other morning joggers passed her. The jog helped get her mind in order too, she had much to wonder about. Ritsuko had never returned from her bathroom trip, nor called her yesterday leaving the tech to worry. But with Shinji back, Maya had a lot less concern for her friend. Rubbing at the stitch in her side, "Still, not like her to take off early."

Still, for Ritsuko to take off an hour early without comment, left Maya puzzled. Kaji had flirted with her a little, but she saw the condescending look on his smug face. Was it so wrong that she felt a little for the young hero of Tokyo-3? If Shinji were like the new pilot, then yes it would be odd. The Suzuhara boy just came across as immature or posturing. Where Ikari would be polite and try and keep his private moments with Soryu hidden, Suzuhara appeared openly gawking. Aside from her fantasies about the already taken Shinji, her love life was abysmal, hence the attempt to keep herself slim. Makoto was out, she'd never trust him again, Shigeru was taken, Kaji was a jerk, and that was all the guys she knew.

"Can't catch somebody if I'm all pudgy, well I could but," Maya thought she'd have an easier time if she lost the weight. Shielding the sun from her eyes, she scanned the other runners with envy. They just had it so much easier, but they've been doing it longer right? Feeling herself ready to start again, Maya ground her teeth and off she went again. It was going to be a painful day at work tomorrow, but if the only problem was some achy legs it was good. "Rather have pain than fight an angel, or another of sempai's bad days," she wiped the sweat off her forehead.

Rounding the park for a second time, she just felt so self-conscious around those other women with the bare midriff and exposed thighs. Was that why guys didn't look at her, she was to conservative or plain? But Ritsuko was attracted to her, and from Maya's experience Ritsuko had high standards. "Maybe it's my personality?" she asked aloud. Stumbling as an unexpected sight came into view, a familiar patch of unique blue hair alongside a shaggy brown haired boy. "S-shouldn't t-they be in-in school?" she panted as she increased pace to catch up.

Was it really them? Her heart rate increased and it wasn't just from the jogging. That pale skin and complexion was to similar to be coincidence. "A-Ayanami, Ikari-kun w-what are you doing out here…on a…sc-school day?" her admonishment didn't go over well with the panting but she tried. Getting the duo to stop, she got them to face her and she suddenly found it incredibly hard to breath. Was that an annoyed look on Ayanami's face? She had never seen such a clear and readable emotion on the girl. Pointing to the bench along the track, "Have a sit?"

"Ibuki-san, are you unwell? You are asphyxiating and perspiring harshly," Rei did oblige the woman and headed off the track. Keeping in line with Shinji, Rei mirrored his every action perfectly. Sitting as he did, a good foot away but still closer than usual, Rei gestured to her side for the young technician to sit. Not exhibiting any signs of fatigue, "As for schooling, we have chosen to 'skip' for today, if Akagi-san's term is correct."

Leaning heavily against the back of the bench, Shinji sagged in on himself, "Not really feeling up for school right now. Rei-san suggested we get some exercise." He did warm up to the girl at his side, a small bit of light returning to his eyes. Leaning forward to get an unobstructed view of Maya he asked, "What about you Maya-san? I haven't seen you at the apartment since..."

This wasn't expected, not in the slightest, and it left Maya more than a little confused. Ritsuko had allowed Shinji to skip school? It was known that Ayanami missed about as much school as she attended, what with her medical needs at Nerv, but Shinji? And what was with that savagely depressed look on his face, "Something happening at school or you still not quite over you're um, accident?" She didn't want to mention she was avoiding Ritsuko due to confusion over the older woman's attraction.

After sharing a secretive glance at the boy, Rei uncomfortably patted his knee as if she was uncertain if she should. After he nodded, Rei answered for the two, "Pilot Soryu has ended the courtship process with Shinji-kun. As such he is not in a state conducive to learning. I did not wish for him to be alone in his current state." Rei's eyes twitched as several men, college age by the look, gave the two women a once over. Shifting her legs towards Shinji, closing in the distance, "It has nothing to do with the events related to his previous encounter."

Reaching across Rei's lap, swearing she heard a small grunt, Maya took one of Shinji's listless hands. "Don't let it bother you Shinji-kun, you're young and these things happen. I can't count the number of times girlfriends of mine in school broke up with guys and got another in the span of a week," she tried to console the lad. But why would the German break things off, despite her opinion of the girl they teens seemed enthralled with one another. Releasing her small handshake, she got a great idea, "Well if you two aren't doing anything today, how about we spend some time together? Get your minds off things?"

Pushing himself roughly off the bench, Shinji popped his back and put his hands to his hips. "If Rei-san is alright with it, I won't say no. And you're right Maya-san, I'm sure she'll be off with somebody before the end of the month," the smile on his face was so fake even Rei could tell. Pointing to the small locker room, "We brought a change of clothes here, did you?"

Standing herself took more effort than normal, her limbs resisting, Maya again noticed Rei kept herself in the middle. Wondering if the poor girl had feelings herself or was acting more like a concerned sister, Maya approached the question tentatively. "So, what do you think Ayanami-san? See a movie and maybe get some lunch? I won't take your whole day, I've planned on seeing how Sempai was doing this afternoon," well she was now, be good to see what Ritsuko knew about this whole scenario.

Following a few steps behind Shinji, Rei moved akin to a troubled toddler. Small telegraphed movements of uncertainty and confusion matched with that emotionless mask. "If you think it would do Shinji-kun well, I would have no issue," she parted from Shinji as the man entered the men's side. "Wait for us by the water fountain," Rei ordered as Shinji waved and vanished.

"How is he doing?" Maya asked as she stepped out of the way of a trio of co-eds walked past them giggling. Watching the larger busted girls start to undress for a post workout shower, Maya felt that pang of jealousy again. Would she stand out more if she had been gifted with a larger set, Misato's flashed to Maya's mind complete with a small blush. "He seems alright, sad but not to bad," Maya commented on her brief exposure.

Disrobing with no care to those around her, Rei was a machine of graceful and fluid movements. Clothing scattered about the ground, her bag simply sat on the floor, the girl didn't bother with a locker at all. "Shinji-kun is recovering," she eyed Maya speculatively. Moving to the shower, Rei just had to stand next to the co-eds who continued to share in some private joke, likely at the duo's expense. Turning the water on, "Are you asking out of concern or does it relate to Akagi's revelation?"

Having actually taken the time to fold her clothing and Rei's as well, Maya was a bit behind the teenager. Swearing she overheard one of the intruders comment at Maya's freshly shaved groin, she felt a stab of shame. Having just heard about the breakup, Maya hadn't even given any consideration to Rei's question, "Just worried is all. He's had a lot of, well both of you, have had a lot of bad luck in the past. It's too sudden for me to even think about the um other bit. What about you, Ayanami-kun, how are you taking the news?"

Eyes closed under the showerhead, Rei didn't immediately speak. "He was there for me when I needed him, I will be there for him," she stated firmly and without wavering. Not bothering with soap or shampoo, the girl just rubbed her hands over her skin for a few moments before leaving the stall.

Taking more time herself, more reason now than this morning, Maya considered Rei's comment. The teen didn't confirm or deny anything aside her motivation. Waiting for the others to leave, Maya found the changing area empty when she got out. Not surprising, Rei didn't seem to have the social knowledge to stay and wait for her. "Or she just wants more private time with Shinji-kun, maybe I shouldn't," she doubted if she should infringe on the two.

Drying her hair as best as she could with the city provided towel, Maya rushed out with her bag under her arm to find the pair waiting. "Sorry to keep you two, so shall we go?" she did notice Rei was no longer between Shinji and her. Taking what small blessings as she could, Maya headed out with the two to try and bolster the young Ikari's spirits.

The small 'date' was abnormal and it was nearly entirely the young Ayanami's fault. From Maya's observation, Shinji was depressed, maybe deeply, but he wasn't letting it get to him to hard. That was a good sign, she had worried he would take things to harshly. While Ayanami tried to be supportive, or at least Maya thought that's what the girl tried doing, but either didn't know how or came across awkward. To a point, Maya thought it was sweet in a sibling sort of way, but at the movie it was a bit more overt. Now she wasn't sure, never could be with Ayanami, but she got the sneaking suspicion that Rei was casually flirting with the recovering boy.

After the movie ended, Maya bid the two goodbye as call from Kaji summoned the two in for a sync test. Her spirit bolstered by the news of the breakup, selfish yes but Maya was human, she headed to Ritsuko's to check up on the scientist. The morning had been great too, the time with the two teens did her self-esteem good, she got Shinji to laugh a little. Knocking on Ritsuko's door, "Sempai are you home?" she had just a little extra oomph in her voice.

Opening the door, green cup in hand, Ritsuko had a slim smile and relaxed air about her. "Oh, hey Maya, I thought you might be over today," extending the cup outward, "care for a drink?" Twirling around like a ballerina, Ritsuko sauntered back into the apartment leaving Maya either to follow or leave. Calling out loudly, "How's the base been, I've taken two days off to see to Shinji-kun's recovery. And as long as I work from home on the Commander's little projects he doesn't seem to care."

Sliding her shoes off, Maya got a bad feeling as she shut the door. Drinking this early in the afternoon wasn't something she could just overlook. "I've had time off to, scheduling. Sakura's been on shift last two days," she observed the apartment as casually as possible. It was clean, Shinji hadn't shirked his duties, well lit, but something smelled off about the place. Sniffing when Ritsuko wasn't looking, she recognized the smell of musk, "Sempai did…did I interrupt anything?" Had Ritsuko…did she try something with Shinji?

"Oh I finished an hour ago, thinking of another go before Shinji-kun shows back up," Ritsuko crawled onto the couch, arms stretched across the top. "Did you know that Soryu broke up with Shinji-kun then? Girl thinks he was the cause of her lower scores. But I got a thought now," she twirled the cup of intoxicant around. Taking a large drink, Ritsuko's face scrunched up at the taste.

Sitting on the chair closest to Ritsuko, Maya noticed Ritsuko's 'friend' poking out partially from under the couch. "It sounds like something she would do, piloting and her status did seem to be her priorities," Maya was just glad she hadn't had to bring it up herself. Wouldn't look good for Maya to know to much, not around Ritsuko. Taking the cup from Ritsuko's hand, it was listing dangerously, Maya took a drink only to find it wasn't alcoholic. Eyes going wide, "Sempai, are you…tired?" Indignity filled her as she had assumed the woman drunk before anything else.

Letting out a yawn, Ritsuko nodded and lowed herself to a more laying position on the couch. "Been keeping an eye on Shinj-kun, not a lot of sleep. Day they broke up I was worried he'd do something rash, but I'm thinking he was expecting this. Not surprising with his earlier self-esteem. But the more important thing I've been thinking about. Shinji said something about feeling his mother in the plug the times he died in it," she yawned loud and rubbed her head against the pillow as her eyes fluttered.

Died…Shinji died in the plug? She and the other lower level techs thought that Ritsuko and the other higher ups were keeping secrets. But she'd worry about the sad fact of Shinji's mortality later, "W-what did you think of Sempai?" Did she even want to know though? One moments she's thinking of ways to 'casually' infringe on the young lad's life more, the next she was learning he nearly died several times.

Opening up her button up shirt, her black silk bra contrasted to her pale skin, Ritsuko paid her guest no mind. "After something I saw in the bowels of Nerv the other day, so much makes sense. The Evangelions are more alive than we thought or were lead to believe. They're clones…but they need souls. The recovery mission for Shinji-kun was based on a failed attempt before, on his mother. She was absorbed on the first test…I'm thinking she's still in it. The reason he can synchronize with it so well is partially due to the soul inside he's synchronizing with!" she muttered as a hand went to her chest. "So tired…horn…y too, Maya wanna fool around?" she opened one eye at her seductively, "guess not."

A moment later the woman was asleep, and Maya just sat stunned. If true, it explained a lot but asked a lot of other questions that she wasn't smart enough to answer. And Maya made the choice then and there…that she wasn't going to be concerned about it. She couldn't do anything, hardly understood the implications, so it wouldn't do her any good. Grabbing a blanket from Ritsuko's room, she covered the sleeping woman. The swell of Ritsuko's breasts did catch Maya's attention, they were lovely just like those college students. "Sleep well, sempai, you deserve better," she caressed the woman's cheek and left.

X-X

Pacing in the Nerv garage, Misato felt the overwhelming need for a drink. "Asuka please just come home alright? We can work on this together," she pleaded. Her mind still rattled from the discovery a week ago, Misato was trying to best to be patient with Asuka but it was hard. Reaching not her pockets hoping against knowledge that she somehow had a cigarette in her pocket, she needed to calm down. Where was Kaji when she needed him, at the apartment most likely? Lowering her tone, "This business with Ikari-kun, your scores, everything isn't related! Just come home, I don't like the idea of you having a place on base."

The phone was quite for a few moments, but when Asuka spoke it was cool and calculated. "I need to do this Misato. I need to remove all distractions, all stimuli! I can do this, you know I can. All I need is your authorization, do this for me," Asuka did not come across as asking. A dangerous edge to her voice rang out, "I gave a lot of thought to this. Shin-chan, school, that ass you live with, they've all distracted me from what I needed to focus on. They made me weak."

That's what made Misato worried, Asuka's insistence that people made her soft. It was how she was when they first met, and Misato hated that. A sound, soft but metallic, clattered somewhere in the underground garage making Misato spin around but it was likely somebody else leaving. Her hand weaving despite Asuka not being there, "Ikari-kun only means to help you, just like me Asuka. We're not trying to take anything from you. Can't you see that? We just want to help."

"I don't need help from him or anybody!" Asuka's anger seethed over the phone. Misato could imagine what the girl was doing right now, and it wasn't a pretty picture. The volume lowered from the shrill pitch before to a near whisper, "Just do this Misato, that way Ayanami isn't bothered anymore and you can make as big a mess in the apartment as you want. I know you'll make a mistake and marry that pig, and I won't live with Misato Ryouji."

A spike of anger caused a vein to throb on Misato's forehead. Was everything black and white with Asuka!? "Well I need people, Asuka. I'm not as strong as you, and I want you in my life, so please?" she tried the begging approach. It wasn't a lie either, Misato did not want Asuka out of her life, never. But to have to choose between Asuka and Kaji was…well…not hard but she didn't want to choose. Stamping her foot at the impertinent girl, "Can't you just do this for me, I'll ask Kaji to stay somewhere else while you get your act back together?"

Misato could hope that the silence on Asuka's side of the line was her contemplating the options. A full minute of nothing was sadly met with disappointment, "If you don't do this, I'll just go ask Akagi, and I bet she'd do it. I asked you because despite the others I…look just do this."

"No, Asuka I won't. It's either Ayanami's with Ikari-kun right next door or my place, make your damn choice!" Misato's patience was wearing thin. A long day of hacking into the Magi while dealing with the growing paranoia whenever Gendo was around was frying her nerves. All she wanted was Kaji and Asuka to get along at least civilly but for they just couldn't. "Damn it Asuka, this is for your own good. I saw a report today from the commander about possibly requesting the Fifth Child. Let us help you!" another crash, closer this time, caused her to spin around to investigate.

Asuka's retort was quick and abrasive, "Go fuck yourself Misato, I don't give a damn what you want and I'm not coming back." The line then went silent and disconnected.

Staring at the phone for a moment, Misato saw red and pitched the phone at the ground as hard as she could. The flimsy plastic device exploded in pieces of plastic, glass, and dust scattering amid the cars. Stomping on the larger pieces, "Damn girl! Why can't you just let me help you, why must you make everything so hard when you're like this?" Grinding a particularly large piece, she was angrier at herself for breaking down than anything but the damage was done. "Guess I need to go in and request it, she'll never for…" another sound, soft scuffling.

Now it was the softness that got Misato's attention, it could have been more of the phone bouncing about. But she didn't think that was the case. Reaching for her sidearm, she undid the clasp that held it in her holster, the grip was cool to the touch. "Alright you bastard, where are you hiding," she slide it out and held it up close to her face. Had the base been infiltrated? Cultists, extremists, or any number of potential threats could have reason to try breaching the base. "When it rains it pours," she stepped forward with her right leg and drug her left behind.

A loud crunching stunned Misato long enough to look down. It was the outer case, a photo sticker from Asuka and her first shopping trip in Japan stared at her. "I'm being stupid," she holstered her weapon again and sighed. Her nerves, it was all just paranoia. Reaching into her pockets for her keys, Misato felt the cloth going over her mouth, and her legs being lifted the moment she felt the key's in her hand. 'Not killers but kidnappers!?' her mind panicked as she breathed in deeply, chloroform.

Her body thrashed against the strong arms of her attackers, two by the feel of it. One arm was around her chest, a hand to her mouth, while a second set wrapped around her legs keeping her immobile. Lighter, darker, all her senses were dulled and dwindling, but she didn't see her assailants. Then she was out.

When she woke, Misato's head pounded as if she had the worst hangover of her entire life. Trying to move, she felt the metal cuffs against her legs and wrists, the cloth over her eyes was tied to tight to shake off, and the gag in her mouth kept her silent. 'Well I'm still alive, so they must have a purpose for me,' she thought as she drew her legs up to her chest. The ground she was on was cold, metallic, which told her something else, she was nude. Thankfully she didn't feel any moisture inside her, so either they wanted her awake for the defilement or it wasn't in the cards.

"She's awake, jerked her hands against the braces real soft like. Report was right, woman is dangerous," a throaty male voice called out. The sound of heavy boots on thick plating drew closer to Misato, then the cold press of steel to flesh and the man cut off Misato's blindfold. "Morning brown eyes, sleep well," the man was of dark complexion, not Japanese, his face a roadmap of scars. Kneeling closely to Misato, the knife, a foot long, dangled from his meaty fingers. "You ain't got nothing to worry about lady. You just have to answer some questions to our employer is all. Ain't going to touch you, I got a wife and kid, and we're professionals," his Japanese was fairly good but the accent was hinting to middle to south America.

Bucking against her confines, biting at the mouth gag, Misato didn't believe any of it. She wasn't going to trust some man that left her naked and bound on the ground no matter how sincere he sounded. The knife came close, she shied away expecting a small encouragement cut, but the gag was cut away. Coughing loudly, "W-why did you do this? I won't tell you anything!" But she didn't know what they wanted to know anyway.

Reaching towards Misato, she tried to roll away but his hand latched onto her wrist and held firm. "Stop resisting, I'm going to undo your cuffs. After you talk to your bosses you'll be, well I don't know. It's up to them," he tossed the knife away. Forcing the now less resilient Misato to her feet, he gave her a firm and commanding look, "You try and hit me, a whole platoon of my men are going to come in here and rough you up. There is no escape, the easier you make this for us the easier it is for you."

With a nod, her eyes blazing out in righteous anger, Misato had to resist the all-consuming need to hurt this man. "My bosses?" she quipped a she rubbed her unbound wrists. Fully aware of her shame, Misato was determined to not give the men satisfaction of seeing her uncomfortable with her current state. "I doubt Commander Ikari would do this to get a question answered," she felt the cool barrel of a weapon pressed to her back, it was time to walk.

"Even your boss has bosses, he's just not been doing his best for them," the man was firm but not cruel as he goaded Misato further. Taking a step away, gun always pointed for a kill shot, he opened the door and waved the weapon at his captive. "Just go in, stand in the circle, and…well lady you have my prayers. You did nothing wrong, but those people just don't care," he gave her a sad sort of look.

For a moment, just one, Misato felt sorry for the man. Part of her wanted to ask his name, but she shook her head. It wouldn't do good to become friends now, she did nod at him and offered a sad smile. Walking past him, the door shut with a hiss from the hydraulics, hi-tech, not your common thugs. The room was entirely dark save for a small circle illuminated before her. "Let's get this over with," she just prayed she actually got to live through this.

Once Misato was in the center of the circle, she was surrounded by holographic boxes with numbers on them. A heavily distorted voice from the one listed 01, "Major Katsuragi, we apologize for the need for this, but Ikari offered you to answer to us in lieu of the First Child."

Spinning around trying to read and memorize everything she could, Misato recognized the name atop the symbols. Seele, it was the organization she gleamed from some of her hacking. But she couldn't think of the commander selling her out for the freak child. "I don't believe you, this isn't standard military procedure for talking to subordinates," she felt the 01 was the one to watch.

"Believe us or not, this can go two ways. Answer our questions and it goes easy, resist and we administer necessary aids to get you to talk. Our scientists say the side effects are possible brain death, coma, or worse. Why show loyalty to a man that sold you out," 01's distorted voice masked a masculine voice.

Crossing her hands over her bust, and one between her legs, Misato flipped the circle off. "I'm not talking!" she decried and the moment later felt the sting of a dart in her neck. Pulling it out, a trickle of blood glistened on the end of the dart. Well great, she already felt her mind glazing over, worse than being drunk. "C-cowards, can't ev-even…face an unarmed…unclothed wo-woman," she tried to resist but it wasn't going well.

"Now, tell us what you know about Unit-01's pilot, the S2 engine it ate, the First Child, and what you know of Ikari's plans," a voice behind Misato, feminine sounding.

Consciousness fading, Misato heard herself answering the questions more than she realized she was answering with more rebuffs and mocking's. She resisted the effects for some time, but over unknown time she started to crack. Her will wavered as unknown chemicals ate at her spirit. Then she started talking in earnest. Images of Kaji and her together, memories of Ritsuko and her in college, and lastly a smiling Asuka brought a tear to Misato's eye before the blackness overtook her again.

X-X

The door to his cell opened and the nameless Section-2 operative entered holding a tray close to his chest. "Major Katsuragi has been found, you're being released," the gruff man set down Kaji's gun and access card. Gesturing to the door, "I apologize for the inconvenience."

Kaji didn't believe that for a second, but at least the asshole made the token effort to try. Re-holstering his sidearm, Kaji stood uncomfortably close the man in the sunglasses. "Where is she, she wasn't hurt was she?" he pulled his wallet out and set his card back in. Why he has been detained after Misato's kidnapping Kaji had suspicions, but until he talked to Gendo it was just that. A day in solitary though, that hadn't been fun. Gave him a lot of time to think though, and it was all about Misato and him. It was time to tell her the truth about his duplicitous nature.

Being shorter than Kaji, the gruff man had to lean his head back to maintain eye contact. "She has been taken to Nerv medical. Her condition is currently unstable, only reason you're not suspected is the camera footage from the garage cleared you," with a curt nod the agent walked off leaving Kaji to do as he pleased.

Nerv medical, she was hurt? Damn it! He wanted to end things but not like this! Tearing off as fast as he could, his aching lungs mocked his smoking habit now. Why Misato and not him? Why did this happen now? What did this mean for Nerv if Misato died? Mother fucker, life just had to be a double edged bitch at times. The elevator from the detention level seemed to take forever to arrive, but everything took longer when you wanted things to go fast.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Kaji tried his best to think of some reason Misato would have been kidnapped. She was attractive and it could have just been for sex, she had intimate knowledge of Nerv, but so did many others. Something just seemed to deliberate about this, a major at Nerv just doesn't get singled out and kidnapped on base. "Wonder how Soryu is taking this," it had been a blessing and a curse to have that girl out of the apartment. He didn't have to put up with her shit, but Misato was more depressed. A depressed Misato needed more attention.

The faint ding of the elevator opening broke Kaji out of his small revelry of his last night with Misato. Woman was still a demon in the sack, but her comment about marriage at the end…well he faked sleep. He was being an ass, he knew it, but he didn't know what else to do! Leave Misato and break her spirit, or stay in a fake relationship based on sex and little else and being alone. He feared solitude more than anything though.

Walking fast, nearly a jog, Kaji saw the irritated look of the few nurses as he brushed past them. Flashing his badge to the guard outside of Misato's room, he took a deep breath before opening the door. How bad was it going to be? Raped, mutilated, broken bones? Shuddering he entered to see the pure and raw rage and crumpled form of one Asuka Langley Soryu. Just fucking great. "How is she?" he hated how small his voice sounded.

Not touching Misato, but sitting at her bedside, Asuka's cold blue eyes were locked onto Kaji with as much malice as possible. "She's in a damn coma, how the hell do you think she is?" she spat out morosely. Grabbing the nearby clipboard of Misato's details, she chucked it at Kaji with a horizontal pitch. The fire doused as she sat back down, "Idiots don't even know what caused it, just a lot of unknown chemicals in her. Bastards don't even know if she'll wake up."

Letting the plastic bounce off his chest, he felt he deserved the girl's rage, he scooped it off the ground. "She's beaten stronger odds before, Second Impact will make whatever this is…" he knew this compound and hissed. Seele, only organization that could afford this type of truth serum, they had taken Misato. One didn't stay in the spy game as long as Kaji and not know a little about chemicals and their uses. What he was reading in Misato's medical profile was top of the line and experimental. While believable that somebody stole it, proper usage was something else. Misato wasn't dead…so proper usage was utilized.

"Well now that you've seen her, you can run off and fuck Akagi or whatever you've planned," Asuka slumped in her chair. Her fingers dug into the cheap plastic of the chair, her knuckles white and gnarled. A crouching tiger ready to strike, her body pulsated with energy. "Get your shit out of the apartment too. She was the only reason you were their, and since she's not you're not," she said matter of factly.

Flipping the pages, trying to recall the sparse things he read about what Misato was exposed to, Kaji stalled upon registering what Asuka was saying. "What, you…look Soryu, this isn't the time for us to be fighting with one another. Misato is going to need us to…" he tried to justify things, but the look she was giving him. No, this wasn't a battle worth fighting. Putting the profile down on the night stand of flowers, he saw they were from Shinji. "Shinji-kun was here?" why wouldn't he STILL be here though, "He in the bathroom?"

Shifting from anger to something Kaji couldn't recognize, Asuka drew her legs up on her chair and wrapped her arms around them. "Shinji came earlier today with Akagi and Ibuki. They all came to see how she was doing, then I asked them to leave," she offered nothing else on the matter. Hiding her face behind her legs, "Now I want you to leave as well. I'll be here for her where you won't be. Go running back to Akagi, we both know she'll take you back."

"I'll be back later," Kaji had nothing else to say. He tried to step closer to Misato, planned to caress her cheek or something, but Asuka nearly growled as he made to. Not wanting to make things even worse, he just sulked and left the two in relative peace. Once he was out of the medical wing, he headed straight to the commander's office, the bastard had to have some answers. "Would she take me back though," he had heard her say she would. But saying and doing were two different things, he had said he wasn't going to cheat on her.

Feeling numb, Kaji didn't bother knocking on the large doors, he just kicked them open. Misato in a coma, Ritsuko moved on, and he was left with nothing. Who did he have to blame, himself. Only himself. "I want answers, and you're going to give them to me," a certain degree of fearlessness filled him. Some might say he was growing suicidal as everything crushed down on him, Kaji thought he was being driven by a higher purpose. "What happened to Katsuragi?" his hand twitched at his side.

Sitting at his desk, Gendo showed no sign of concern of Kaji's outburst or aggression. "She was chosen to speak to Seele, she did not seem to want to, they had other ideas if the toxicology report is accurate," the commander pushed his glasses back up. "Now if that is all, I have no time for a lovers quarrel," he said dismissively.

Feeling the weight of his gun at his side more prevalently, Kaji was tempted to draw it. He had enough info on Gendo to know the man was up to something dangerous, that the world would be better off without him, but Kaji did nothing. "Why was she chosen, why not somebody else, why did they want her?" he leaned over hands gripping the edge of Gendo's massive desk.

Leaning back in his chair, Gendo tugged his gloves on tighter. "Because unlike Akagi and you, she had become to great a threat to me. Her forcing Akagi to break into Terminal Dogma was the last allowance I would give her. She was learning things she wasn't meant to, so she was culled. Now, I shouldn't need to remind you that if YOU become a threat something could happen to her while she sleeps, or even Akagi. Now, if you don't want that to happen, you will continue to do your job, AND you shall tell your masters what I want you to tell the," Gendo smirked.

That numbness, homicidal feeling, in Kaji drained and he felt the overwhelming urge to pee. Gendo was…fuck…backed into a corner, Kaji had no foreseeable option at the moment. His body trembled in a funny mixture of anger and fear. "Don't hurt them," was all he said as Gendo slid a folder over to him. Reading the contents, the first of the 'reports' Kaji was to make. Great, just great. Without ammunition, Kaji left broken and defeated, but not dead.

Gendo would rue the day he didn't kill him that day. Kaji was beaten, but not defanged! Oh yes, he just needed time…and now without anybody in his life…Kaji felt no fear. It was time to knuckle down, get the real info, and expose the whole fucking lot of them!

X-X

Author notes

Yeah…darker but not unbelievable. Now I don't normally like to explain things directly in my notes sections, but I fear I might not have been as clear with Asuka's motives as I wanted to be. Her break down isn't just because of the break up with Shinji, but the sum of everything hitting her all at once. Failing at the test, the realization to her that she needs to change or she'd not get better, it's a multitude of things.

Anyway I hope you can stick with this as we run wildly into the night that is the later portion of Eva and all the fun it has to offer.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	22. Chapter 22

Standard Disclaimer

Halloween is quickly approaching so I hope you have your costumes ready. Apparently my dead social calendar has exploded to life against my wishes and eating my time. Sorry about the delays but I can't really help it. Doing my best to keep up with all my obligations.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 22

In her post climax state, Maya had a relaxed smile on her face as she cleaned her motorized implement of self relief. It wasn't everyday she started off with a little private time, but today just felt different. That dream she had about her growing fixation had just been so hot that her body craved a little fantasy, even if it was only in her head. Was it wrong to take joy in things that were causing others pain? Bitterly she did have a sliver of self-reproach about it, but Maya admitted she was human. And as it appeared, Soryu had not improved in a week of self-imposed testing and the girl's attitude soured.

Stepping over her ferret, Maya put her motorized implement away in her bottom drawer with the few others she had. Modern single women had to adapt, and with all the stress she was living with she found they got a bit more use as the city deteriorated. Grabbing her clothing for the day, a wicked impulse had her put on her black silks just in case she had the option to stumble into the male side. "Just hope that Suzuhara boy isn't over there," she could stand without the leering for the day. Though as memory served, Soryu and he were spending time together due to all the tests Asuka insisted on.

"Shinji-kun doesn't like seeing that though," Maya stopped her dressing for a moment to scowl. Loyalty in men, Shinji had it in spades it seemed. A great trait to be honest, Maya just wondered if she was being stupid. They hadn't spoken much since the quasi-date with Ayanami, but Maya was just so damnably lonely. "I feel sick, the only real hope for a man in my life is a fourteen year old war veteran," Maya buttoned her top and reached for her perfume. Shinji was better than Makoto and Kaji though. Spritzing herself with the mellow scent, "Just have to hope Ayanami doesn't pounce on him. Sempai has said she'd been over more."

Pouring her spoiled pet Camo food for the day, Maya stepped out to hustle to her catch her train into work. There were marked fewer commuters, not surprising since more businesses were closing as the city's infrastructure was taxed and failing in places. Several other men and woman were clad in the Nerv tan uniforms, and they tended to keep their eyes downcast lest they see the incriminating stares of the other riders. Nerv was doing its best, Maya thought, but the civilians didn't offer much understanding.

"Morning Maya, you're looking particularly chipper this morning," Kaji waved with his right hand as his left clasped the hanging strap. More disheveled than normal, his facial hair had grown and was unkempt, Kaji was haggard but tried to be chipper. Waving for Makoto to join them, "Going to be a long day of testing for our four pilots. I know Soryu's been demanding constant drills, so I hope you're up for her royal bitchiness's royal decree."

Fitting how the two men ended up living together, Maya found her mirth for that boundless. Makoto who betrayed Nerv for a little sex, and Kaji would cheated on Ritsuko now shared Hyuga's tiny apartment. Maybe there was a little justice in the world after all. Shifting in her seat, pointing her legs away from the men less they consider her a target in their own loneliness, "Morning Ryoji-san, Hyuga-kun. Guess I had a better night sleep than normal." If every night she dreamt of getting a tongue lashing from her crush she'd be sleeping in a lot more.

Holding the bar next to the door, Makoto swaggered as the train swerved. "That girl is just a pain anymore. At least when she was with Ikari-kun she was happy, now she's just a terror. Never thought I'd say I miss the egotistical and self-glorifying girl that we started with," the man shuddered and pushed his slipping glasses back up.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't constantly slipping," Maya offered with a small shrug. To her, Asuka was always just a fame hound, one that rightfully deserved the accolades though. Asuka was beautiful, intelligent, athletic, and the envy of those that saw her. Girls like that got the good guys, got the promotions, and left the mousy girls like Maya in the dust. Well, what comes up comes back down it seems, and Maya was going to try and catch what Soryu threw away. "And if Ikari-kun wasn't improving so much. Even Suzuhara and Ayanami are improving at slower paces. She just can't accept that she's not the best," she prayed that she imagined the joy in her voice. Jealousy made fools of us all.

It might have been just Maya's imagination, but Kaji appeared to have raised an eyebrow for a moment. "Well having lived with the girl until she kicked me out, I can confirm that she does not take losing at all. Girl was if nothing else bound and determined to be the greatest thing on earth. Misato fueled that girl's ego to, but then again Soryu tempered a lot of Misato's lower qualities," he stared off out of the train window, eyes unfocused and lost.

"How is Katsuragi-san? I've been trying to get a chance to visit her, but every time I go she's there and won't let anybody in," Makoto gripped the vertical bar with both hands as the train started to slow. "They ever find the guy that doused her at the bar?" he offered Maya a hand up off the seat.

Opting to stand on her own, Maya at least gave Makoto a brief smile in thanks…he was trying to make amends and that was enough for her. "I can't believe that, Katsuragi got slipped some fancy new drug at a bar," Maya feel in step behind Kaji and Makoto as they disembarked. The whole command staff had been shocked at the news of Misato's kidnapping, some scoffed when they learned the truth. The woman had been drugged at some club and left for dead. Thankfully section-2 got to her before anything happened. Scanning her card at the door, "You said it was an allergic reaction to whatever she was given?"

Sliding his card back into his wallet, Kaji shrugged with a defeatist air. "Yeah, doctors don't know what exactly she was given. They just know her body reacted badly to it, and she might not recover. Could have been worse, and we just have to hope she'll come around," he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Saying goodbye to Makoto as the man took the first elevator to the mostly repaired command bridge, Kaji scanned the hall for something. When they were alone though, "Maya, can I ask you a few questions. About R-Ritsuko?"

Already trying to get back with Sempai? Maya had to lower Kaji's standing on her rankings another notch. At first Maya had a small crush on the roguish man. Handsome and rugged, smooth talker, and with an air of mystery about him, Maya fantasized heavily about the man for the first two months of knowing him. But having seen Ritsuko and him as a solid couple those feelings dwindled into a firm liking and friendship as thoughts of Makoto slowly started to build. Well Maya knew those two better now. Kaji betrayed Ritsuko and now that his token bimbo was in a coma he wanted to crawl back to Ritsuko?

"What do you want to know Ryoji?" Maya did not hint at enjoying the topic. Misato had been a competent officer, Maya wouldn't take that away from the woman, but the damage done to Ritsuko had been severe. Maya knew her friends and Misato was not one of them, and by relationship now Kaji was the same. "Thinking that with Katsuragi gone you can just slide right back up to her and back into her good graces?" sadly Maya knew he could if tried. For whatever reason Ritsuko still loved the man.

Hissing through clenched teeth, Kaji leaned back and examined the ceiling intently. Taking a few looping steps, he clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Does look that way to you doesn't it. But as much as I would like to, I'm not on the make for Ritsuko. Just want to know how she's doing. Up until my mistake, Misato and Ritsuko were friends. And I'm thinking they had a…fight the day of Misato's accident. Just wanting to make sure she's doing alright. She gets different when she gets stressed out," Kaji stated, his eyes pleading for anything Maya would offer.

Damn her nature, but Maya just couldn't be overtly cruel to anybody. "She was a little out of it that day. I went to visit, and she…well I stopped over after she finished with a little private business. Ever since she's been a little off, we all are. The only thing I can see as being quirky is she avoids LCL as if it were some toxic sludge," Maya hoped she answered the man well enough. What she didn't say, couldn't really, was the odd looks Ritsuko was giving. They were hungry looks, and they were for man and woman alike. Though Maya feared that once or twice she saw Ritsuko spending too much time on Shinji.

Nodding Kaji tapped his finger to his chin. Then offering Maya a genuine smile that reached his eyes, "Thanks for telling me Ibuki-kun. I know you don't forgive me for what I did to her, I'm still glad you told me." Walking past the woman, he patted her shoulder gently before stopping. His head going angling down, "Don't know if I should tell you, or if you know already, but she gets 'needy' when she gets stressed. Bet that was awkward for you to walk in on. Just hope she keeps it away from Shinji-kun. Doubt he'd want to see that, make living with her a little odd. When we were together I'd knock that out of her. But with things as they are." Trailing off, Kaji just continued his trudge off to whatever job he had to do.

Ritsuko was just reacting to the change as they all were. It was a shock to them all, the command staff had the sense of invulnerability. It was the children in harm's way, if anybody was to get hurt or die it'd be them first and the command staff last. Funny how mankind was its own worst enemy, and the price for their blindness was losing one of the lead strategists to a thug that wanted a quickie. Filing that little tidbit into her memory bank, Maya wasn't going to be hitting any bars anytime soon. Nope, if she wanted a drink it'd be at her apartment or maybe a visit to Ritsuko's. Be nice to talk with her sempai, just to check on her.

Walking into the testing room, Maya was greeted with an emotionless shout, "I don't know why we have to have everybody here? Can't they do this somewhere else? I can't focus with them staring at the failure!" Asuka's voice reverberated with a shrill tremor that wasn't fitting for the proud German.

Taking her seat next to Ritsuko, Maya winced at the sound. "Not doing too well today is she?" she quipped as she logged in. Scanning the readings from Ritsuko's console, Maya's heart went out to Asuka for a moment. Girl was even lower than before, now equal distant between Shinji and Ayanami with no signs of stopping. It was never fun to watch others in pain, for Maya anyway, and that's what Asuka was. The girl who prided herself for being the best was being routinely beaten by her ex, and her friend was catching up in leaps and bounds. Seeing that odd gleam in Ritsuko's eyes, "You alright Sempai?"

Reclining in her seat, the cheap plastic swivel creaked as it was stretched to its max. "Girl is going to be the death of me if this doesn't change soon. I have more work to do than cater to her shattered ego," Ritsuko rubbed the brim of her nose. And hand went to a dangerous place on her lap, but didn't stray further, "Others are doing better, well Suzuhara is stable at this point but that's a blessing. If Soryu gets passed by him I'm betting it's going to end badly."

Now that was the understatement of the day, Maya fathomed. For the boy Asuka had nothing but contempt for to surpass her would be devastating. "Well with his readings I don't think we have much need for concern," she never thought that'd be a saving grace. Suzuhara just wasn't up to snuff for piloting, that or Unit-00 just didn't like him. Booting up her software, Maya let herself enjoy a small glance at Shinji and Rei. Both of them had their eyes closed and concentrating on the test, at least they were doing well. "Think the commander will have Ayanami pilot again? Maybe try Suzuhara in Unit-02 and put Ayanami back in Unit-00?" she contemplated a coffee but decided against it.

"Asuka I told you before, you have to relax and deal with it! After we finish the test proper you can have the test room to yourself as long as you want!" Ritsuko retaliated to Asuka's latest rant. Flipping the audio back off, Ritsuko just let her shoulders sulk and rested her forehead against her palm. "Going to recommend that myself Maya. Commander is very protective of Ayanami, cut at this rate I don't know how long until she's unable to sync at all. Her downfall has slowed, but this Misato business will only worsen things," Ritsuko's tired face graced Maya with a half scowl.

They were very mother/daughter like, so it had to have some effect on the girl Maya consented. "How are the others taking it? What will happen to Soryu if she is taken off the active pilot roster?" Maya doubted the girl would leave. Though if no longer a pilot, Asuka could seek comfort. STOP! Maya fought to keep her selfish impulse from voicing it's want. This was a girl's life, and all Maya could think of was trying to hit on the girl's ex-boyfriend. She wasn't that egocentric , Maya might not like Asuka but she didn't wish the girl harm.

Eyes going back to the monitors, Ritsuko just shrugged. "Likely she'll stay around to keep tabs on Misato. But as for other things, she'll only be around if she has use. Shinji would be a little upset to see her go, but I think he was expecting what happened between them. Think I should do something to cheer him up? Not worried about him, just you know…want him happy since he's been there for me," Ritsuko's typing stalled for a moment as she considered some thought.

Just as sudden as she put down the selfish impulse of Asuka, Maya picked it back up again. "I think you're doing him just fine being there for him as you are. Kids go through relationships all the time, and he looks fine to me," very fine indeed. He wasn't Akito, Maya accepted that, and with all the isolation she'd been feeling lately he was growing into a fixation. Not unhealthy, she hoped, just something nice to fantasize about. A man that wouldn't hurt her, abandon her, cheat on her, or demoralize her…no she was not wanting that. But to sweeten the deal of changing topics Maya made herself feel horrible, "Ryoji-san asked about you just before I showed up. Wanted to make sure you were alright."

Soon Ritsuko was asking a few questions about just what Kaji wanted to know. It shamed Maya to know she brought up the bastard because she knew Ritsuko still cared about him. Two hours later the primary test ended. Asuka stayed behind while the other three went to simulators for combat drills, Maya stayed with Asuka while Ritsuko moved on. Not what she wanted, but Maya felt it best. Try and help the poor broken girl who had the most haunted eyes. But after another three hours of testing, Maya was witness to Asuka having a breakdown in the plug. The girl slammed her fists against the yolks and cursed long stream of German expletives. Maya turned off the video feed to let her have her privacy.

X-X

"Well I think I'm going to continue this party back at the apartment, Sonouske," Ritsuko twirled her empty glass around in her hand. Two days of just Asuka and Touji testing had not been good on Ritsuko's nerves so she opted for a little post work binge drinking. Handing her debit card over to her favorite bartender, "Place is full of couples or men I wouldn't trust not to give me diseases if I let them fuck me." But she was still a little tempted.

Ringing up Ritsuko's tab, Sonouske could only chortle. "Keep talking like that and one of them will follow you out, honey," his lisp was, as he told Ritsuko before, intentional. Handing the bottle blonde back her card and the fairly small receipt, "If I was straight I'd be all about you. Smart is sexy so you're a double whammy. If you're desperate though, why not hit up that roommate you're always talking about. You said he broke up with his girlfriend right?" The man leaned on the clean bar and winked.

Sleep with Shinji? Maya would have a fit if the girl ever found out, not that Ritsuko was giving much thought to bedding the young Ikari. Her face was warm with the affects of the potent intoxicant, "He's the faithful type. And his bitch of an ex did say they might try again after she sorts her shit out." Though the itch was growing harder to deny. Sex had always been a stress relief for her, but with her male options limited it was hard to get the fix. Her plastic and electronic friends just weren't cutting the bill anymore, and it was making it harder and harder to resist just grabbing any random man again.

Sliding a glass of water across the black painted bar top, Sonouske tapped its rim. "Have this before you go walking home. And so what if this guy has a one night stand with you? Afraid he'd move out or worse want a committed relationship?" the man's lisp was heavy but understandable.

"Afraid I'd not give him the option really. You know me, once I sink my claws in you need to stab me in the back to get me off," Ritsuko eyed the water then knocked it back in a single gulp. More booze at the apartment and likely a porno and her purple vibrator. Shinji had taken to walking again leaving her plenty of time for self abuse. Imagining sleeping with the young man, "I've seen him accidentally in the shower too…he's big enough to please and I bet that bitch of his likely trained him a bit. Nice, attractive, and knows you to please a woman…like being with a yo…another Kaji. One that wouldn't fuck my best friend."

Taking the empty glass, Sonouske gave Ritsuko a sympathetic look and rolled his hand over. "You were too good for that man after all. I'm still shocked he was such an ass. I say go for the roommate then, ex girlfriend be damned. You only live once, and I'd hate my best customer to get some STD from a bar pickup," he set the glass back down. Leaning closer to Ritsuko after scanning the few early hour patrons whispered, "Or you could…try and get Kaji back. I know you love him, you could try to get him back."

Try and get Kaji back, she wouldn't lie and say she didn't consider it. "I'd be viewed the whore for that, but not like I'm liked by many people anyway," she sucked a smoke out of her pack and flinched. "See you next time, Sonouske, you keep yourself clean," she waved and left the man to the eight p.m. rush.

Stepping out into the evening, the sun having set while she drank her few rum and cokes, she sighed in disgust. "I'd take him back if he even hinted at it," Misato be damned. Walking on unsteady legs, she wondered what Kaji was doing or who. "Bastard likely has some floozy while he's waiting for Misato to recover," she slurred at an elderly couple walking by. It wasn't like Ritsuko didn't know Kaji's flaws, she knew nearly everything about him. Kaji couldn't be alone, funny how others considered him so put-together and suave. He hid it well, she knew, but Kaji would cling to the first woman that came around.

Intentionally walking between a couple as they approached her, Ritsuko spat as she heard the man curse at her. If she had to walk alone, why couldn't everybody else! She hated being alone, loathed it, but she could handle it better than others. "Another thing Shinji-kun and I have in common," she snickered and paused her walk to light her smoke. That boy knew solitude as well, but he wasn't likely to remain single for long. "Maya might actually try something with how's she's looking at him, or 'nami might since she's been odd lately too," she pulled her cell phone out.

Stumbling around the corner, she flipped over the tiny plastic device and let it illuminate her face. "Never did change that picture," she grumbled seeing faces grinning back at her. It was taken on one of their anniversaries, she forgot which, at the cheesy Italian place Kaji took her too. Flipping down the numbers, she felt her self revulsion rising again. First on the list of contacts was Maya, sweet and adorable Maya. Maya who just couldn't take the chance to experiment with bi-sexuality it seemed.

To call her or not, best not too Ritsuko rationalized. "She's likely at work with Soryu," Ritsuko mumbled. Non-stop testing wasn't going to get Asuka any better, not when the issue was in the girl's head. But Ritsuko would give Asuka an A for effort, but an F for common sense. "Blaming others for her problems is just escapism!" and Ritsuko new better forms of it. Her fuck ups were all her own, she just hid from them with booze and work. Sex had been an option when she had a stable relationship. Now that was just a potential at the bar or worn out self-aids.

"Not calling Shigeru or Makoto, those two aren't worth the effort," Ritsuko said with disdain. Shigeru was a maybe if she didn't get anything soon, assuming he gave up on his ex as well. No force on earth would have her willingly sleep with Makoto though, man was beneath her. Leaning against a building, Ritsuko felt her stomach churn as a particularly bad memory came to mind. "Guess he is above one man though," Ritsuko confessed and spat out what little vomit had made it to her mouth.

Seeing her apartment coming to view, thankfully the lights were off, Ritsuko fumbled for her keys. "The commander, to think I even for a moment," she shuddered. During the day's meeting on the lack of progress on the Dummy System, she almost asked the commander out for a drink! Those cold beady eyes glaring back at her, the lack of any warmth or compassion ended that line of thought soon. Added to it she could tell he was angry at the lack of progress was the fuel to leave his office. "Not like it's my fault the old bastard destroyed all the materials. Can't make a tool without the raw components," and those components it seemed were clones of a teenage human and angel hybrid.

Yup that did it, Ritsuko doubled over and expunged the contents of her stomach, all liquid today. "Just means I get to drink more," she tried looking on the bright side. Liberating her cardkey by the time the elevator ascended to her floor, Ritsuko pitied the poor sap that stumbled upon her mess. Looking out over the city as she approached the door, she stopped by Ayanami's as the sounds of a cello and violin emanated from behind the door. "Maybe you'll be getting what I want today, Shin-chan. Treat her good if you do, both of you deserve better," she flashed the door her thumb and continued on home.

Flipping on the lights after kicking her shoes off hard at the wall, Ritsuko's mind went back to her phone. "I could call Kaji, ask how he is, how he's taking her coma," Ritsuko's voice cracked horribly. Maybe it would just be one more romp for old times sake, possibly they'd get back together. Her finger trembled as it moved towards the send button. "Just call him, tell him about how I'm doing…what I'd do for him," she felt that stab of self hatred again. Men didn't like her for her brain, or her looks…only what she'd be willing to do for them it seemed. A fuck rag…was that all she would be known for after she died?

Mixing herself a drink and grabbing a bag of chips, she spotted Luna and Artemis had full bowls of food. "Shin-chan is good to you two, I've been neglectful so much lately," she bent over and pet her felines. If it wasn't for Shinji she'd have shipped her cats off to her grandmother's by now. To much time drunk, at work, or in growing depression. Putting in a horror movie rather than porn, she settled into the couch and glared at the phone. "He could come home any minute and I'd not want to scare him," she took a deep sip.

Call him…plead…beg…offer him anything…everything…anything to not be alone anymore.

Picking up the phone again, tears threatening to break her eyes, Ritsuko's face hardened. "No! I'm not that low!" she hurled the phone at the wall. It splintered into its component pieces. She smiled at that. No, she wasn't going to whore herself to Kaji or anybody. She'd seal off that part of herself too if she had too. Reaching under the couch, she grabbed the first of her 'hidden' toys. Shinji had to know about them since he did so much cleaning. Hell she found them arranged once, she'd have loved to see his face for that one.

Rolling the egg vibrator in her hand, the tiny pink end was still gleaming from its last use. "Well its quite while in me," her drunken self rationalized. Skirting her panties to the side she sighed in pleasure as she popped the device in as deep as her fingers would allow. Turning up the volume of the movie, she flipped the egg on and promptly forgot about it as it whirred and tried to eat away her anxiety and sadness.

Halfway though the movie, she had flipped the power up to max after ten minutes, Ritsuko was making a nice little puddle on the couch. "Flip the cushion over before bed," she hoped it didn't smell. Her evaluation of her seepage, her craving and pleading for more growing, was interrupted as the door opened and shut hurriedly. A bullet in human form walked briskly into the room, calling out to the boy before he could flee, "Something wrong Shinji-kun?" He was never so abrupt or hurried without cause.

Red faced and panting, Shinji eyed Ritsuko speculatively and looked back to his room. "N-no nothing is wrong Ritsuko-san," he sniffed the air for a moment. His brow scrunched in confusion for a moment, and again he looked ready to flee. Quite against his own wishes it sounded, he asked, "D-did you need me for anything?"

Drawing in her almost empty drink, Ritsuko evaluated the situation with her powerful intellect. While she was drunk, it didn't make her stupider it only lowered her inhibitions and sense of right and wrong. "Ayanami ask you to get a condom, is that why you're so anxious to get to your room?" first thing that came to her mind. The little oddities next door was wanting to steal Asuka's place? Well that would be a sure sign Rei was over what abuse the fucking scum sucker Fuyutski did.

"N-not really, well I don't think she wanted to go tha…" Shinji sputtered out and covered his face. His chin connected with his chest as his head bowed, "I think we scared each other with what happened."

Patting the cushion next to her, Ritsuko forgot about her little friend or the mess she made. "Sit, tell me about it. As a woman I might help explain what was going on through her head?" fat chance with Ayanami being who she was. But Ritsuko was willing to listen and offer help if necessary. Maybe she'd offer to show the two how to do it really well…Rei could watch as Shinji practiced on her. Wrapping her arm around Shinji's shoulder as he sat, she pulled him close. Her mind was hit hard by his scent, "Take it you two did something?"

Wiggling against Ritsuko's side, his elbow accidentally connecting with her left breast, Shinji confessed, "Yeah." Keeping his hands on his lap, Shinji fumbled them over each other as he tried to think of what to say. Finding the television very interesting to look at, "S-she kissed me after we stopped playing. I was so fixated on the music I didn't notice her until she did. Bu-but after she broke it she looked afraid…like she didn't know why she did it."

He was so warm against her, and she could feel his pulse beating, all she had to do was just pluck him and she'd have him. Her mind told her to stop, that it was a mistake, but her loins demanded attention. "Well, with her past it's not surprising she'd have a few intimacy issues. Maybe she didn't even know why she was doing it. Not everyday a girl gets her first 'real' kiss from a handsome man. Whatever that pigshit did to her doesn't count," Ritsuko took another deep drink.

"H-handsome?" Shinji actually looked over at her with an odd hope in his eyes.

Linking gazes with Shinji, Ritsuko felt the emptiness in her class and the burning inside her grew. "How about a drink Shinji-kun. With your school likely to close soon, I've no problem if you skip tomorrow, and I don't want to drink alone," she patted his cheek and stood up. Not giving him an option, and grateful the egg's controller was in her stalking, she headed to the kitchen and made herself and Shinji a nice drink. Seeing that bashful expression still adorning his face, she handed him the drink. "And you are handsome, Shinji-kun. Maya sees it, shocked she hasn't asked you out now that you're a free man," she sat back down and pulled him against her again. This was what she wanted…somebody at her side, somebody she trusted.

Dutifully drinking the beverage, either to calm his nerves or at her behest it wasn't know, Shinji shivered as it hit him. "Little stronger than you usually make for me," he chose to ignore Ritsuko's little info.

This could work, gauge his wiliness using Maya as a foil, Ritsuko swirled the drink in her mouth to savor the flavor. "How does that make you feel Shinji-kun? Knowing that an older woman is interested in you, in both an emotional and sexual way?" she shifted her legs up on the couch. She was getting warmer and warmer, she could feel her lower lips puffing out. "And potentially Ayanami as well, not that Asuka as chosen to end things?" she couldn't come on to strong.

Looking at the drink for a moment, Shinji was driven by an unknown force to drink it fast. "I can't believe it really," Shinji said rubbing his arm against his lips. "Before Asuka-san, I thought I'd just live alone. That nobody would want to date me…but if you think…if she's willing I'd like to get to know her better first of course," Shinji found himself lost in Ritsuko's eyes. "S-so what do you think I should d-do about Ayanami-san? I wouldn't want her to…to be afraid of me like s-she is him," he sniffed again.

Getting Shinji and herself an hour later Ritsuko set it down next to hers on the table. They talked about Rei and Maya mostly, Ritsuko leading with more suggestive topics until she was sure the red on his face wasn't just form the alcohol. "Give her some time to come to terms with what she did. Likely she's not thought of others in that way, and what happened was a spur of the moment thing," she was practically drenched now! Acting on impulse she drew Shinji to her and kissed him openly in a quick act. His mouth opening in shock or protest allowed her tongue to slip in and play. Oh…Asuka had trained him how to kiss well.

After a few minutes of shocked kissing, Shinji gently pushed himself back. "Ritsuko-san you're drunk…we-we shouldn't do this. Y-you love Kaji-san, I-I hear you calling for him some nights," Shinji tried to explain. Despite himself Shinji gave the woman a butterfly kiss as his own hormones leapt up from slumber.

"I'm tired of being alone, Shinji-kun…so tired," Ritsuko felt herself sobering up and felt disgusted with herself. This isn't want she wanted…to taint Shinji's innocence with her foulness. "I'm sorry I did that…but…tonight…just tonight…sleep in my bed with me? J-just sleep?" she quickly amended as Shinji's eyes popped open wide. And he did let her, it was awkward to take the egg out of herself…she sheepishly put it back under the couch as Shinji looked away. Hand in hand, the two lost souls headed to Ritsuko's room, and clad in their day cloths laid down on the futon. What alcohol was in their systems worked at putting them under fast.

In the morning, Ritsuko woke spooning Shinji from behind, her hands against his bare skin. Apparently during the night she had slide her hands under his boxers, whatever dream thankfully she didn't make a mess of things or woke him. But he woke a few moments after she freed her hand from him…a bit bigger than she had expected a dark part of her noticed…the angel alarm was sounding.

X-X

It was a funny dichotomy, Shinji thought. He felt safer knowing Rei was being loaded into Unit-00, but worried more about her safety over Touji. Due to the early hour of the attack, and Touji's unknown location, Rei was the only viable pilot for the blue behemoth. Later Shinji would ask Touji where he had been, he'd learn that Touji had spent the night at Hikari's. Not that it mattered that Touji lost his virginity that night, no darker things were in the memory books for that day.

"Asuka, we're going to launch you first while we get Ayanami's profile set up. Unit-01 is still on lockdown," Kaji was speaking business and not letting any past transgressions take hold. Giving Shinji a side profile of his face, Kaji turned to somebody off camera for a moment. Offering Shinji a small pittance of sympathy, "Sorry Shinji-kun, I can't do anything about the commander's orders right now."

Nodding in the goop, Shinji didn't feel any animosity towards Kaji, "I understand. But if things go bad, please reconsider." How had life gotten so confusing so quickly and so badly? He saw the 'mute' symbol under Asuka's picture meaning she wasn't going to let him talk to her. Oh she could hear him, but she'd just ignore anything he said. So many things he wanted to ask her, to tell her, but she just couldn't let him. The issue of Rei, that soft and confusing kiss she gifted upon him left him troubled. What did Rei really feel about him, and that look of confusion maybe fear after she did it.

Then there was the other shock of the previous night, Ritsuko. Shinji had seen the woman drunk before, but over the last few weeks it had been lesser and lesser that she blacked out. Well last night had to have been one of those seldom events. He'd not believe the long rambling explanation on how Ibuki liked him. That had to just have been the booze talking, Maya couldn't feel anything for him.

That kiss though, Shinji couldn't deny it made him squirm and part of him stir. Asuka and he had taken to the sex quite easily, and he admitted he missed it. And, deep in the blackness of his mind hidden from him save for long sleepless nights was, he did feel something for Ritsuko. And Asuka and he never just slept together like what happened last night. Shinji liked that, it felt comforting and warm. Even if it never happened again, even if Ritsuko's actions were just alcohol confused and a mistake, Shinji would cherish the memory that he had been there for the woman.

"I'll show all of you what a real pilot can do," Asuka's sunken eyes gleamed with a dangerous light. She did spare Shinji a momentary exchange, her face softening with a mixture of longing and regret. The mute icon finally vanished once her unit was launched up to the city proper. Regulations forced the channel open, not any conscious effort could be seem only hoped for. Arming herself with a modified positron rifle, Asuka took aim with cool confidence. Licking her lips, odd considering the LCL would have kept them wet, "I'm not just cannon fodder, I am worthy…I am."

Absently listening to Kaji and Ritsuko comment about the angel, Shinji's whole attention was on Asuka. Aware that Rei was watching him, he allowed himself to give the albino a small smile…they'd have to talk later. His fingers twitched in time with Asuka's shots, his hopes for a simple and clean victory were dashed as the ball of energy dissipated without reaching the target. "Why couldn't this be easy, Rei-san?" he'd not risk distracting Asuka. Being a spectator was harder than anything.

"Our foes learn, they adapt to our tactics it seems," Rei commented with a small twitch to her eye. "Shinji-kun, about yester…" Rei's voice was then drown out by a most unfortunate event.

Asuka's voice rippled through not only the other units but the base as a whole. A blood chilling scream that lanced through any thought anybody had for an easy solution. "NO! NO! Stay out of my mind! STAY OUT!" Asuka's body reacted faster than the command staff could. The rifle she had fired wildly, but no longer pointed skyward, destroying building and road alike with sickening ease and speed. "SHINJI! MISATO HELP ME!" Asuka cried out her feed linked directly to the only people she'd ever ask.

His body going ridged as steel, Shinji turned to Kaji. "Launch me, Kaji-san, you have to!" Shinji pulled on the stirrups of his Unit. Not waiting for authorization, Shinji powered up his monster and readied himself for combat. Nothing was going to keep him from getting up there, nothing. While his life was confusing regarding his love life, funny considering a year ago he thought he'd never have one. But between Asuka, Rei, and the oddity of Ritsuko he had people to protect, and he'd not let how Asuka hurt him stop him now!

"Request denied. Unit-01 is to remain in standby," Gendo Ikari's voice countered anything Kaji would have said. The man fixed his glasses and tried his damnedest to intimidate Shinji into cowing down. Switching his attention to the other available pilot, "Ayanami, get the lance."

With Asuka's cries and pleading ringing in his mind, her mind being raped before him, Shinji snapped. "No father! Either launch me now or I'll climb my way out! I will NOT leave her to suffer this!" Shinji found courage within himself. Ages ago he stopped caring about his father, but never did he actually hate the man. Now he could not make that statement, as contempt was all he knew. Shattering the bindings on Unit-01's arms, Shinji glared at the man, "I'll give you one second before I start using the launch tube as a ladder!"

"Shinji-kun, I know how you're feeling, but you have to think about this," Kaji tried to rationalize. More people were talking to Kaji, some sounded to be with and others against what the man said. Waving his hands, calling for silence…what little there could be with Asuka's screaming, "We don't know what it's doing to her, what it can do to you."

While he did still respect Kaji, missed the man terribly, Shinji couldn't listen to his command this time. "So be it," Shinji thought he saw Maya and Ritsuko's faces appear disappointed as it appeared he was backing down. Then Shinji willed his beast to leap as high as it could. The foot bindings tore like tin foil as Shinji vaulted nearly straight up. Bracing himself against the shaft, he buried his unit's hands and feet into the shaft to provide leverage. Again and again he leapt higher and smashed into the shaft, but the lift never was authorized to get him. No all Shinji got was his father ordering Maya to knock him out again, well joke was on Gendo as Ritsuko pulled the tech away from her station.

Once he got to the surface, Shinji scanned for Asuka's position in relation to his own. "Hold on, I'm coming!" he prayed she heard him over her own cries. They each pierced him deeply, cries about mother, Misato, begs and pleads to stop the psychic assault each so pitiful and weak was a stark contrast to how the girl normally was. "Faster, must go faster!" he ran faster and faster. Unit-01 literally blurred as it tore up roads and broke buildings as it dashed.

"Get out of my mind…Shinji…please," Asuka clawed at her head. Drawing herself into a ball, floating before the camera, the girl just hugged herself and shuddered. The rifle fell to her side, Unit-02 hunched over as the golden light continued to shine down from the orbital invader.

What the beam would do to him, Shinji never considered for even a moment. Diving into the light, knocking Unit-02 and his own to the ground just out of the halo of light, Shinji shook off the sluggishness the blow caused. Getting up, finding Asuka unresponsive in her Unit, he lifted Unit-02 over his shoulder and chanced looking at the angel. The light beam was moving towards him, "Kaji-san, Ritsuko-san any ideas on what I can do to stop it?" Now that Asuka was debatably out of current harm, he gave thought to his own safety.

It was Ritsuko that answered, sounds of fighting could be heard just behind her, "Get Unit-02 to an elevator. Ayanami is off doing something on the commander's orders, so she's not an option to help right now. Just get Asuka to a lift and we can get her out of there." More shouting, Kaji and Maya were having a very heated argument behind Ritsuko's head. "Shinji, flip the switch under your chair when you get a moment, that will prevent the pressure of the LCL from being increased," Ritsuko's screen then blinked out suddenly.

He'd worry about the consequences of his actions later, Shinji was committed to his task. Finding Unit-02 didn't hamper his speed much, he gave a passing consideration to his sync ratio and glad he didn't need a power cord anymore. Setting Asuka down on the first elevator he could find, Shinji insured the beam of light followed him and not settle on the prone Unit-02. "Ayanami, are you…where are you?" he asked the static filled box that had once been that mysterious friend of his.

Arming himself with one of the pallet rifles from the building armaments, Shinji found large swatches of the city in ruins. "Asuka…what did it due to you," Shinji wondered aloud. Never staying still for more than a moment, he started to feel fatigue setting in. Odd that since he wasn't really running, just willing Unit-01 to do so, but it was taxing all the same. More shouts, harsh slurs and angry words proved the fight at Nerv was escalating. Didn't they have something more important to do than fight? Taking aim Shinji took a few potshots at the angel, hoping for some freak event of it hitting, sadly it never did.

Sure he was sweating Shinji felt his adrenaline lowering and post battle fatigue starting to set in. "Not sure, I can keep this up," he said to however was listening. Stumbling over a chuck of building Asuka had unintentionally destroyed, he fell to the ground and rolled to his back. Latent instinct, knowing the angel's attack was soon to show him exactly what it did to Asuka, Shinji kicked at the ground hoping to push himself along the road. Being far too heavy to do so, all Shinji's actions did was to destroy even more of the already devastated street. Shielding his face as the beam crept up Unit-01's leg toward the cockpit, Shinji winced waiting for the event…it never happened.

"Shinji-kun, are you alright?" Rei's tone heavily hinted at worry and concern. Her tranquil face was marred with heavy lines about her eyes, her lips a delicate frown adorned her face. Making careful steps across the ruined section of city, several blocks were beyond repair, she helped Shinji to get back up. Gesturing to the place the angel had been, "I was tasked to get a weapon capable of ending it. You tended to Soryu?"

Leaning heavily on Unit-00, Shinji felt himself ready to collapse as fatigue rushed in. Another battle over, only this one took more damage than the previous. "I don't know how much good I did, but I couldn't leave her to that alone," he pointed at the elevator he deposited Asuka at. His mind cleared of its haze of sluggishness however at seeing Unit-02 still sitting there, "Why is she still there!? Why isn't she in a hospital or at least out of the battlefield!" He knew it wasn't Rei's fault, but his gaze was at her and full of shame and anger. Why hadn't he stayed until after she was lowered!

"Stand down pilot or you actions will not be overlooked," Gendo appeared where Ritsuko had previously. Nodding at Ayanami, sending her some unspoken signal, the man pushed his glasses back up. "Unit-01 and Unit-02 will be quarantined due to contact with the angel. The Second Child will be as well due to possibility of mental contamination. The Third Child is to disembark from his Unit now, or suffer punishment," Gendo then blinked out.

"I am sorry," Rei said with every indication that it hurt her more than she let on. Grasping Unit-01 by the neck gently, Rei gave Shinji all the time he needed to release his plug. With the gentleness of handling the finest china, Rei lowered Shinji's plug to the ground. After a moment of hesitation, "I shall see you at my apartment, if you wish to see me after my transgression yesterday."

So she was worried about that, Shinji felt shame at how good that made him feel. "If they let me, I'll be over when I can," he smiled at Rei as the sense of vertigo assaulted him. Then he felt his plug leave Unit-01 on the elevator he had made it stand. Without power, Shinji was left in darkness only feeling the sway as Rei set him down. Opening the hatch, he watched as the three Unit's, 01 and 02 on the same platform descended back into the base below. Then his heart lurched, Asuka wasn't in Unit-02, she was sitting precariously at the edge of the platform lowering it. "Asuka, a-are you…" Shinji didn't get a chance to finish.

"I hate you…" Asuka said without any sense of emotion. "Everything comes so easy for you. You're worthy of life…I'm just a worthless sack to be saved now. You took it from me, left me to that thing. You should have let me die," Asuka punched the concrete hard. "I'm worthless, weak, powerless…mama should have tried harder to take me with her. I hate you…hate you for being better than me," her fist continued to punch.

Approaching the yellow and black quarantine lines, Shinji broke them down and approached the girl regardless of the danger. He had to hope, "You don't mean that, Asuka. You're not weak, never had been! This…whatever it did to you, you can fight it, beat it like you did everything else!" She couldn't hate him, not over this, not over that damn curse that was Eva. Reaching out to her, Shinji was suddenly on the ground with Asuka on his chest, hatred and rage. Punches rained down on him along with tears from the girl's eyes. He feebly tried to protect himself but to many and random were the blows.

"Hate you! I HATE you!" Asuka cried out before just crumpling down on his chest sobbing bitterly. She didn't try to shake off Shinji's arms when he wrapped them around her holding her close. "Why did you have to save me, why aren't I worthy anymore," she just rubbed her face against Shinji's chest until she passed out.

"S-she doesn't mean it…" Shinji stroked her hair as he felt her relax against him. What any of this meant for either of them, Shinji didn't know…he just had to hope it wasn't too painful for them.

X-X

Pacing outside of the hospital room that now hosted both Misato and Asuka, Kaji waited for Makoto to stop his rambling. "Sure, I'll pick up some milk on the way back and toilet paper. Just have to take Shinji-kun and Ayanami back to their apartments and I'll be on my way," Kaji fought to keep the annoyance out of his voice. Living with Makoto was a royal pain, man was a real nazi when it came to chore sharing. Thankfully he had a few appointments with apartment retailers for a new place. Who knew angel's destroying the city would allow for so many openings in rentals.

"Alright, I'll be heading back after my shift. I might try talking to Maya a bit before leaving. She's been nicer to me lately and I want to see if I can't mend the bridge I burnt," Makoto said with a hint of exasperation.

Giving the man a snowballs chance in hell, Kaji just rolled his eyes. "Well if it fails, maybe we can hit a bar. Betting a lot of the women left in town are single," Kaji at least tried to make the man less depressed. Hearing the line go dead, he flipped his phone back up and slid it back into his pocket. Three days post the last battle, the city was finally getting what meager sense of peace back that it had before. Most of Asuka's damage had been to non-crucial buildings, but not all of it. Some residential structures were gone, the power grid was in shambles, and one of the shelters was partially hit. They didn't tell the pilots that the death count was substantially higher this battle.

"Wonder how the girl would react if I walked in," Kaji wondered aloud as he spied in the door window. Laying on the bed, looking brooding and sullen, Asuka tolerated her two guests. Unable to hear them, Kaji gauged the conversation bad by the look on Shinji's face. Poor kid didn't have a poker face at all, way to expressive. And right now it was trying its best to be strong, but Kaji could tell Asuka wasn't welcoming him back with open arms and stretched out legs. Putting a smoke in his mouth, "At least she's still not screaming that she hates him and wants to die."

Tapping the man on the shoulder, a cute young nurse Maya's age scowled as best she could at him. "Sir, this is a non-smoking building. I'll have to ask you not to smoke that," her green eyes showed interest in more than what was in Kaji's mouth.

Chuckling lightly, he put the cigarette back in his pack before running a hand through his hair. "Sorry about that, darling. Just anxious to be out of here," he didn't recognize this one. She smiled at him, winking as she walked off, he examined her firm white smock clad rump and felt himself stir a little. It was alright to look, but his touching days were over. "Maybe I can try talking to Ritsuko today. I'll look like scum though…talking to her so soon after Misato," but damn it he had wanted to break it off so many times before! Was he stuck forever waiting for the girl he didn't want to wake up, while the one he did was still single?

The door to room opened with an audible click as Shinji and Rei exited and resealed it. "Sorry for taking so long, Kaji-san. I just wanted to make sure she's going to be released tomorrow like the doctors said," Shinji tried to appear positive but failed. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he jerked just a little as Rei's hand trailed down his arm.

"She is adamant that the attack was her fault, and that we were partially to blame for distracting her," Rei met Kaji's gaze with her cold calculating stare. Trying to imitate consoling actions, Rei kept her hand on the small of Shinji's back. Just as blank as ever she added, "And she re-iterated her desire to no longer consider Shinji-kun her significant other."

Leading the duo to the elevator that took them to the parking garage, Kaji wondered how Rei felt about that. Knowing now that the girl was a clone of human and angel origin, Kaji wouldn't lie and say he wasn't unafraid of her. Anything of alien origin could react to things differently, added the mental trauma from before might be a powder keg. They talked of Asuka's condition, how they felt about school being closed, and how Rei's violin playing was going. But Kaji kept his eye keenly on the girl, she didn't seem upset or pleased at Shinji and Asuka's breakup.

The car ride was quiet, the soft raid amplifying the mood of disquiet and somberness. Kaji listened as Rei and Shinji conversed in the backseat together. Simple teen stuff, he was glad Shinji was still bothered by such, that the forced adulthood hadn't ruined life for the lad. "So, Shinji-kun, if you're on the market now, have you given consideration of playing the field a bit? I heard some rumors about Ibuki having a thing for you," he'd not mention Rei that was up to the girl herself.

Finding Kaji's reflection in the mirror gazing back at him, Shinji just blushed a little. "I haven't given much thought to it, Kaji-san. With the attack so sudden, and with the school closed, not like I have a lot of options. As for Ibuki-san, I think that's just a rumor," he did exchange a look with Rei and swallowed hard. Something was there, but neither teen had acted on it.

"Well it wouldn't hurt you to ask and find out. Or do you not like the idea of older women? They could teach you a thing or two," Kaji teased a little further. It had been so long since he had a chat with Shinji, he found himself starving for more. Oh how he had fucked up his perfect life for a little pussy. "She's a good woman…just in case you're worried. And it's not like you don't have another option," he tossed Rei a bone if she needed it.

Speaking to Kaji directly for the first time since getting in the car, Rei was harsh and blunt. "We are uncertain if a relationship between one another is a good idea. Both being 'friends'" she used the word carefully, "with Soryu she might take greater offense if we sought anything."

Nodding as he pulled into his spot, Kaji couldn't help but notice the glut of empty parking spaces at his old apartment. "That's nice of both of you. You could bring the idea up to her if you're worried. No reason to go through life alone if somebody does care about you. Just don't do what I did and throw it away stupidly," he opened his door. Pulling up the seat so the two in the back could exit, he could have sworn he saw a look of appreciation on both of their faces. "Shinji-kun, how IS Ritsuko doing? Think she'd mind if I…" he yearned to talk to her so damn bad.

Stopping for a moment, Shinji turned to Kaji with a panicked expression that faded almost as quickly as it appeared. "She's doing good. Drinking a bit more the last few days. S-she was acting o-odd the day before the attack, but it was just nerves I'm betting," he said nothing else as Rei grabbed his hand and pulled him to the stairwell.

"Let those two be alone," Kaji nodded and hoped thing worked out. Either with Asuka, Rei, or even Maya it didn't matter, Kaji just wanted quasi-son happy. Eyeing the elevator for a good hard minute, giving the teens all the time they needed to get up the stairs, Kaji made his decision. Something had happened to weird Shinji out regarding Ritsuko…he'd just be asking her what was wrong. He was bouncing on the balls of his heels by the time the elevator door opened spilling him out onto the floor.

Stopping outside Ayanami's door, Kaji spied the sounds of a cello and violin playing. Whatever floated the two's boat it seemed, he was glad for whatever joy Shinji could get. The reports he was filing for Gendo were painting the boy as a pillar of ruin and broken spirits, Ayanami as an empty vessel ready to do the councils bidding, and the only truth being Misato showed now signs of progress.

Moving back on to his old apartment, Kaji pulled out his key and almost opened the door before catching himself. "I don't live her now, I live with Makoto," he bounced his head off the door accidentally. Stupid, but he only had himself to blame for all of it. Had he told Misato the truth, hell had he not let his penis ruin a good thing, he'd just have walked in. But now he had to play as Gendo's puppet or who knew what the bastard would do.

"Did you lose your key Shinji…Kaji," Ritsuko opened the door clad in her relaxing cloths. A long t-shirt that Kaji had given her as a joke years ago, big hearts over her breasts with the word 'love muffins' under it, reached down to Ritsuko's knees. "Took you longer to sleaze over here than Maya thought it would. Here to pretend you care so you can have a body to fuck until Misato wakes up again?" she sipped out of her favorite green cup.

Yeah he deserved that, as it was how it looked. "H-hey, see you kept the shirt," Kaji said lamely. Now that he was looking her in the face, that cold and calculating mask of indifference marring her beauty, Kaji was dumbstruck. Wondering if this was how Shinji felt when talking to girls, "H-how are you doing, Ritsuko? I wanted to see how you were. Shinji-kun said you two had a little problem the night of the attack." He could smell her, her cigarette smoke hung about her like a cloud yet it was perfume to him.

Peeking at Rei's door, Ritsuko stepped further into the apartment and pulled the door open. "I almost did something stupid, but I'm not that far gone. Had he wanted to though, we could have scratched each others itches," she shut the door after Kaji entered. "All that happened was we slept in the same bed. I got him drunk, took no prompting actually, think he's just as stressed as I am if not more so," Ritsuko wobbled deeper into the apartment side stepping her cats.

His heart relaxed at hearing that, Kaji did have a small speculation that sex was part of what sent Shinji all frazzled. Ritsuko, the new Ritsuko, didn't seem to care about things the way the old one did. Nothing mattered much to her, at least that was Kaji's observation, so if Shinji and she did want to shag they'd shag and she'd not care. "I see you're still watching those movies. Don't think I recognize this one," he pointed at the screen. A woman was in a chair with an odd metal device on her head.

Sitting back down, her legs lifting the shirt higher up showing nothing but leg, Ritsuko tittered. "Since I can't chance watching porn when Shinji might show up I've opted to try an odd American sub-genre of horror called torture-porn. Not nearly as good," she reclined on the couch fully. After a moment of silence, her eyes much like her cats were examining the man like a mouse to destroy. "So, how about you drop the pretense here Kaji and tell me why you came. You know I'd not rape anybody, so drop the worried about Shinji bit. I love that boy, I wont' lie, but not like I…" she filled the void of words with a drink.

"I fucked up, alright, I fucked up the only good thing in my life, you. And I know it doesn't look like it, and you can't confirm it…but I've wanted to leave Misato so many times to plead for another chance," Kaji found himself helpless before the woman's gaze. He had stared down bullets, lied to Gendo's face, but seeing those baleful orbs of Ritsuko's on him reduced him to a quivering mass. She wasn't perfect, but she was what he wanted as a partner damn it! He could feel himself getting worked up, "Fucking Misato was the dumbest thing I ever did in my life. A stupid mistake, and my cowardice…my fear of being alone kept me from telling her the truth."

Rolling onto her back, kicking her legs up on the couch, her panties visible to her guest, Ritsuko showed not concern for her state of dress or his comments. "So what? I'm just supposed to take your word for it and take you back? Take the word of the man who swore he wouldn't cheat on me? Is that what you want?" she never wavered in her tone or conviction. No, Ritsuko appeared stone cold sober and of right mind and body, bore down on the man with ferocity.

He had no argument, no ammo to support his request at all, Kaji knew it. The wrong he did to Ritsuko was unforgivable, but he just had to ask. When his life was spiraling into hell, the whole world going along with him, Kaji had to at least try. "I can't ask that. All I can do is ask you give me the chance to prove it. I don't know what I initially meant to say to you when I came up. I doubt I had anything really in mind," it was true. All he wanted was to see her, be in her presence alone without anybody to spoil it. "I just wanted you to know, if nothing else, that I do love you, Ritsuko. That had Misato not gotten to close to the truth…I'd have left her. She wasn't what I wanted, never was, and to ask if their was anything I could do to get you to give me a second chance?" he got on his knees and bowed his head to the ground.

Shuffling off to the bedroom, Ritsuko walked back to Kaji and gently touched his spine. When he gazed up at her, eyes red threatening tears, she showed him what she had on her hand. "This all started because of this coin, only fitting we use it again wouldn't you say?" she flashed the coin that years ago set the chain of events in motion. "Heads I give you another chance, tails we're co-workers and co-conspirators and nothing else," her own voice caught with hidden emotion.

He hard her flip the coin and smash it to the back of her hand. Looking up at her, his heart he swore stopped beating. "What-what is it?" had it really come down to this again? A coin toss determined if he was given a chance again at true happiness? Fear chilled his body, numbness spread throughout him. She dropped the coin, and pulled him to his feet. "R-Ritsuko?" her face that damn unreadable mask. Then she kissed him, not a soft kiss, not a delicate kiss. No she rammed her tongue into his mouth as if she were trying to eat him.

He woke the next morning, aching in the crotch and covered in fluids, but Ritsuko wasn't there. All that was their was a note… 'We can try again, but last night was just for me. You're still dog shit and get to live with Makoto. P.S. Shinji heard and stayed at Ayanami's. Take him to Nerv.'

She was giving him another chance. Where they really stood he didn't know, but she was at least willing to try. Kaji smashed the paper against his face with both hands and let out loud whooping cheer. "I won't fail you again, baby. When we do that again out of love…I won't let you go again," he shuddered as potential rippled through him.

X-X

He had the cards and knew what his enemies were holding as well, but Gendo's façade didn't show any of his holdings. With the city defense down so low it was basically worthless, one of the pilots dangerously close to useless, and another close to a mental break it wasn't unexpected the council would call him. Let the fools poster and threaten him as best they would try, they were worse off than he was.

"I am busy with finalizing the repairs the primary command deck and the city restorations. Was it necessary you call this meeting so sudden?" Gendo didn't feel concerned in the circle of white. Surrounded by the cowards that disguised their voices and hid their faces, they weren't the threat. The real threat lay right before him, in the ancient and marred face of Keel who had the gall to show himself. "You have my reports on the battle and of the projects," he gestured dismissively.

Only five symbols surrounded Gendo at the moment, not surprising as they never all appeared. It was the heavily disguised European accent out of Seele 4 that spoke first. "You speak as if you do the work yourself, Ikari. Don't make the mistake that Katsuragi did and not answering us directly. The Dummy System is hardly functional. Less than ten percent of the trials end in any form of success. We had your word you'd get it running by the end. And we have only but two remaining," the thick accent and garbled voice made the angered pitch even harder to understand.

"Maybe if you hadn't spoiled Katsuragi I'd not have to spend as much time officiating the small things," Gendo didn't even face the square. He had known Seele was responsible for Katsuragi's kidnapping and ruining, he had given the word to allow it. But it was nice to know that Seele was running out of threats against him. Using already known pieces of knowledge as menace, it was almost cute. Pushing his glasses up he pushed, "As for the Dummy Plug, you know we lack the physical materials to continue researching. When Fuyutski's mind broke and he spoiled the tank, we lost all but one usable tank and it wasn't fully prepared."

Raising his hand, Keel silenced the murmuring of the other voices before they could protest to much. "You play dangerous Ikari, but we have no option. If we do however find one, you may find your position more tenuous then expected. The bell you have around your pawns necks might suddenly stop ringing," Keel's hand gestured to Seele #14. "Inform him of his alternatives," the tone was neigh mechanical as it left the antediluvian man's throat.

A female voice, hints of a Chinese accent graced her warbling pitch, "We have some spares you may have access to. They are not female however." As the voice echoed, a general dismay rambled through the assembled council members. "As we are finalizing the training of the Fifth Child, we will have Nagisa-kun ready to take the place of one of your failing pilots soon," at least that had the hint of bite to it.

Now that was a speculation he had, but it was nice to have it confirmed. Raising his eyebrow Gendo couldn't hide his smirk, "So you've been trying to make your own plugs. For the Mass Production series I assume. If you have them though, why haven't you made progress with your own system?" He had half suspected they'd just modify the Rei system for their needs, not make their own wholly. No matter, when the attack they were no doubt planning came, Gendo would not be there for the capture. Rei would be under his full control, he'd see to that. And when the last angel was down, he would fulfill his own plan.

Cutting off any of his subordinates attempts to defend their actions, Seele pounded his hand on the desk he sat. Barking harshly, "We have only the initial data from Fuyutski to work with, and it was flawed. Your Akagi should have been working on the system from the start. Had she been, we'd have a working system already. But you allowed her to play with the spy, compromising her position. With the new raw materials we're giving you, we expect her to deliver quickly, Ikari. We are running out of time, and the system is required at the end."

"Do not fail, Ikari," Seele 2 said before blinking out. "You're replaceable still," was the threat of 14. All the symbols commented similarly before blanking out leaving only Gendo and Keel left behind.

His head bowing forward, Keel rubbing his bald head with his left hand tiredly. "Our goals are coming to an end Ikari. The Human Instrumentality project is nearing completion, and I know you've plans that aren't as we want them. Cull them, fall in line, it would be a shame to destroy what you made prematurely. Unless you want to see the Ayanami girl's body mangled, broken, and spoiled before the last trial comes…you will have results for us," and with that Keel vanished like the rest.

Gendo didn't feel threatened. So they knew Rei was some part of his plan, they'd not openly attack her until they were certain things were going in their favor. With his pet spy, Gendo would feed them only what they wanted to know. The UN Security council's mole would read of Kaji's report and feed it right to the rest of Seele. Everything was going as planned. Only a few variables existed, the Third Child for one, Akagi another, and until he brought her back fully under his control Rei. "If only I could just kill the current and replace with another as the plan had been. Sensei you tried to ruin it, but in the end it was only a setback," Gendo headed to his apartment in Nerv to sleep. Only two angels and then he'd be with Yui again…only two.

X-X

Authors notes

Man work's been being a real beast lately, and its messing with my head. Oh well, that's life. Trying to keep things moving but not to fast. I hope that the Ritsuko thing didn't appear out of nowhere for you, been trying to hint at a little tension between the two, and no she's not just going to accept Kaji back quick/easy/possibly never. She's going to give him a chance…well enough of my defending myself.

Ja mata

Zentrodie


	23. Chapter 23

Standard Disclaimer

Man the holiday's eat time. Added to the mix is some family issues and work adding up for a lot less time for me. I keep trying, but as you notice my once a week thing is a bit more once every two week with the occasional once a week thrown in. See what I can do, but this doesn't pay the rent, doesn't pay at all, so I have to make due.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 23

Examining her face in the mirror for the fifth time of the day, Maya splashed her face with water. A full week after she heard the news of Ritsuko tentatively making amends with Kaji, Maya's heart and head were ready. The city was looking worse and worse with each passing day. Stores closing, people moving out, crime on the rise, the city just seemed to be dying. The damage Asuka did during the last battle was the ringing of the cities death bell. So with most of the entertainment options closed, humanity took to the other options it had, dating and human relationships.

Maya was only human herself, and as such she was ready to make good on her hopes and dreams before it was too late. Fueled by the subtle change in Ritsuko's attitude, more upbeat and happy, Maya was going to make her play on Shinji. After hearing the news story of the rise of youthful marriages, well Maya put her unease about dating a fourteen year old aside. Anything to put the dower and depression of daily life was worth a try. Soryu was still adamant that she wanted to be away from everybody, Ayanami hadn't made a move, and that left Maya ready to pounce.

"I can do this, he looks just as lost as I do," Maya nodded to herself as she grabbed for a paper towel. Drying her face off, she applied just a smidge of makeup to accent her subtle beauty, well she hoped anyway. Putting her mascara away, "Just ask him out on a little date. Ask him over to watch a movie and some food. Nothing much, not like we're going to declare our undying love." But her stomach rumbled, her legs unease, she hadn't felt this uneasy since she got promoted to work with Ritsuko.

Walking out of a stall, Ritsuko startled the woman who had thought she was alone. Pulling her lab coat back on she asked, "Finally going to ask Hyuga-kun over to your apartment? Bought time you got over that stupidity of his. Been months since he made that mistake, and he's still mooning over you." Turning on the tap, the natural attractive woman quickly washed her hands and dried them. "And don't forget, in today's day and age it's alright to go all the way on the first date. Especially here where we keep staring death in the face."

Her heart rate spiked at Ritsuko's sudden appearance, Maya grabbed at her uniform. Damn it, why hadn't she checked the stalls before she got herself fixed up? And of all people to overhear her, it had to be Ritsuko. The woman's earlier flirtations, openly coming on to her, Ritsuko's position as Shinji's guardian, and the shift in attitude the bottle blond and pilot had for each other left Maya cursing her luck. "I'm not talking about Makoto-kun. I guess I forgave him for his stupidity back then. Men are fools for sex, and he's always been weak," Maya held the door open for Ritsuko.

Pausing outside the door for Maya, Ritsuko spun around on one foot. Raising an eyebrow she questioned, "Somebody new in your life then Maya? Aoba-kun? I thought he was trying to get together with his ex." Something in how the woman stared was confrontational almost dangerous. Leading the way to the testing chambers, Ritsuko stifled a yawn into her palm. Kicking her shoe on harder, "Or is it somebody else, somebody I know?"

She'd have to tell Ritsuko eventually, especially if Shinji took up her request, but Maya wanted to prolong that as long as possible. "You know him, but I don't think I'll ask, not the right time. So how goes things with Ryoji-san?" Maya hoped the woman took the bait. Distract the woman with her fixation on the roguish man, get her happy and maybe a little moist, and then drop the bombshell. Hard to tell a woman you plan on dating her underage roommate.

Heading into the test chambers, Ritsuko took her seat at the lead console. Watching the pilots as all four climbed into their respective plugs, Ritsuko's eyes stayed on Shinji. "Things have been going better for us. We've been talking about what happened back when…the unpleasantness happened. I know you say I shouldn't trust him, but knowing him like I do I can see what he's been saying as true," she booted up the sequencer. Leaning in to the microphone, "Ok, this is just a standard test today for you four. Suzuhara I'll need you to stay later for additional testing, Soryu it's up to you if you want to stay."

"Ritsuko-san, I left your lunch with Kaji-san," Shinji said with a small smile on his face. Shuffling in his stirrups, Shinji had a sense of contentment but didn't meet Ritsuko's eyes.

Interrupting anything Ritsuko would have said in response, Asuka's deadpan and flat voice cut through any joy their could have been. "I'm staying until my score increases or I'm kicked out. This tin can won't deny me forever," her eyes were haunted and sunken.

Flipping off the sound, cutting short the boisterous and heady comment from the testosterone fueled Suzuhara, Maya sighed in relief. "Well Ikari-kun seems happy, but I just feel so bad for Soryu-kun. At least there was no permanent mental damage from that last angel. She's not taking her depression out on him is she?" she tried not to sound too eager. While Ritsuko knew Maya had a passing fancy for Shinji, Ritsuko didn't know Maya was about to make good on it. Batting her eyes coyly at the woman, "And what was that about a lunch with Ryoji-san?"

It was Ritsuko's turn to be coy, as the scientist's hands stopped their rapid typing and effort. After getting the tests started, "No, Soryu isn't directly causing him any additional depression. She her attitude in the hospital, well she still holds a grudge for saving her. As for Kaji and lunch…" Her face blossomed into confusion with a nervous twitch on the corner of her eye. "Well Kaji was over last night to talk. Things got a little more heated and, well we chased Shinji out to Ayanami's again. I feel bad driving him out like that, but I can't seem to control my voice like I used to. I need to start stuffing a sock in my mouth to keep the moans down."

As the image of Kaji and Ritsuko entered her mind, Maya felt a full body quiver rock her. How long had it been since she was with a man? College and the two hit wonder her lab partner had been, and that man was all about self-gratification at her expense. Shinji wouldn't be like that, hell she knew it from the look Asuka used to have, and the equipment was far better based on the footage she still watched to relief her itches. Trying to flatter herself with a little daydream, the angry look of Soryu and the half accusing stare of Ayanami kept her mind on task.

If Ritsuko and Kaji being back together was forcing Shinji into late night visits and sleep overs at Ayanami's, Maya knew she couldn't hold off any longer. Willing her courage up, her innards felt aflame with anticipation and worry, "Akagi-sempai, can I tell you something important?" She would go forward regardless of Ritsuko's blessings, but she hoped she'd get it. When Ritsuko turned to her, rubbing at her tired eyes, Maya felt her mouth go dry and itchy, "T-the man I was talking about in the bathroom, the man I'm going to ask out is Ikari-kun."

Slowly Ritsuko spun back to her console, but didn't say anything for full on a minute. Drawing a cigarette out of her pocket she popped it into her mouth though she didn't light it. "I won't say I didn't see this coming, but I will say I don't approve of it," she drummed her fingers on the keyboard. "Shinji-kun is in a delicate position, both physically and emotionally, and what you're looking for might be too much for him right now," she finally turned back to Maya. An unreadable mask of emotionlessness, the doctor bore down on the mousy tech probing for weakness.

A sense of disappointment, a cold numb of regret ate at her, but Maya was determined to keep herself from breaking down. "Why do you disprove of it? Sure I'm a little older than he is, but it's not that big a difference. I know about his psychological issues and I think I can help him with that. I'm not asking to marry him, just to see if maybe we can have something," she monitored her readings. It wasn't a sign of weakness she hoped, to not continue the staring match, but felt she lost ground. "Soryu is a little down, Suzuhara is holding just below minimum threshold, but Ayanami and Ikari-kun are higher still," she recounted her side of the test.

"I disprove of it, because I know he's still unstable after the Soryu incident. Do you want somebody on the rebound?" Ritsuko typed in Maya's readings. Flipping the switch to open the comm channels again, "Alright that does it for these tests. Suzuhara and I'm guess Soryu can go to the actual plugs for further testing." Waiting for the plugs to drain, she waved at Shinji and Rei as the lad helped the girl out of her plug. Sagging into her seat after the pilots left, Suzuhara quick to get behind Soryu, Ritsuko rubbed her brow, "And I'm thinking you just have a case of misplaced emotions. You had a thing for Makoto until he 'betrayed' you, now you're looking for somebody you think won't do the same to you."

Anger, pure and unadulterated, started to grow inside Maya's small frame. "So its ok for you to just take Ryoji-kun back, you who were on the rebound as you say, but it's wrong for Shinji-kun?" she slipped and used his first name. The hypocrisy was making her see red. Makoto's actions had nothing to do with her growing feelings for the young man. At first it had just been the sense of familiar, the memories of her departed brother, but over time she saw Shinji for what she did now and it was not the love of a brother. Getting out of her chair, her goal changing from subtle asking Shinji to direct, "Sorry Akagi-san, but you're not his mother. I had hoped you'd give me your blessing, but you seem content to just screw around with that pig Ryoji and rub it in Shinji-kun's face."

Walking out of the small testing chamber, Ritsuko's rebuttal cut short as the door closed between them, Maya shook with rage. But at least Maya knew she had tried, did what she thought was best in telling Ritsuko. It didn't do any good though, the woman was a slave to Kaji's libido it seemed. A waste of a talented mind, but Ritsuko wasn't the same driven woman Maya started working with. Misato and Kaji's infidelity broke the woman's sanity it seemed. Now back with the fount of sin, well Maya doubted she'd ever talk to Ritsuko the same way again. "Drinking, perversion, and constantly working…she can't even care for herself let alone others," she shook her head.

Waiting outside of the changing rooms, Maya tried to push her disappointment to the side, to get ready for the important meeting. "To think I used to respect her so much, that I almost…" in her weaker moments Maya considered Ritsuko's offers. It hadn't lasted long, a few stray thoughts at night after a nice drink. Maya had thought maybe, just maybe it could be fun to be with Ritsuko that way. Another friend turned work-acquaintance only due to Maya learning the truth beneath the surface. "But I know he's not the same as them, he's honest and kind," she smiled softly to herself. Yes, Shinji wasn't a fake like Makoto and Ritsuko, wasn't ruined by selfishness.

"Ibuki-san, are you here to tell us our scores?" Rei asked as she walked out of the changing room. A towel hanging around her shoulders, her hair still dripping wet and her clothing clung to her body. It was as if she ran out of the shower and dried as fast as possible to avoid missing something, or someone. Her head whipped to the side the moment the familiar crop of brown hair joined them, "Shinji-kun, Ibuki-san is here with our scores."

Walking up to the two women, Shinji kept a respectable distance and nodded gently. "Oh, we could have come to the room if it was that important. But thanks regardless, M-Maya-san," he was still a little uneasy with her first name. If he was still hurting from Asuka's apparent anger and frustration, he didn't let anybody see it. Leaning back he scanned for either of the two pilots, when they weren't seen, "Guess it would be good to hear it without Asuka-san around if either of us are doing better."

Oh her heart was fluttering, and her thighs rubbed together as memories of that pilfered tape resurged. "Well she has reason to be a little lower than before, and I'm sure she'll get better in time," Maya hated lying. Soryu was up for replacement as soon as the Fifth Child was brought into Nerv, she'd be kept as a backup. Taking that hard but oh so worth it step closer to Shinji, Maya noticed Ayanami doing the same, "As for you two, congratulations you both have new high scores. And…uhm…Shinji-kun if I could have a moment alone with you?" She could have sworn she saw a scowl on Ayanami's face, but she had given the damaged girl enough time to act. Rei hadn't and Maya wasn't going to make the same mistake.

"I'll catch up to you Rei-san," Shinji gave the albino's shoulder a gentle caress. Scanning the changing room again, Shinji followed Rei's walking away from them. Perhaps he let his gaze linger to long as Maya grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the doorframe. Blushing a little at the closeness to the older woman, "What did you need from me Maya-san? Nothing bad I hope." He sank his hands into his pockets to hide their fidgeting.

It was now or never, Maya knew that now. That little gaze after the younger albino showed her enough, Shinji was over his shattered relationship with Soryu and ready to move on. Wait too long though and either Ayanami would make a move or he would. Closing her eyes, Maya took in a deep breath to steady herself. She could hear her heart beating between her legs, her breathing was too shallow and was leaving her light headed, but she fought on. "Shinji-kun, if you're not doing anything tomorrow. W-would you like to come over to my p-place? A d-date, just you and me watching a movie, a little supper, you know…get to know one another better?" she said it!

"Maya-san, you want…with me…t-tomorrow?" Shinji stammered as he took a step back. His eyes were wide and his mouth opened and closed a few times but didn't say a word edgewise. "I don't know…are you s-sure it's a good idea?" he didn't sound opposed just worried about it.

Walking between the two of them, Asuka swung her wet hair in Shinji's direction smacking him in the face with her long locks. "Of course he will. He's got no reason not to, bet he's pent up like you wouldn't believe," Asuka crossed her arms and gazed bored at the two of them. Leaning in closer to Maya, her scowl fierce and raw, she sniffed the woman's neck close, "And she is too. Positively reeks of pheromones. So when he breaks you in, you have me to thank for his tongue skill." And with that she shoved past Shinji by knocking her shoulder into his.

Aghast, Shinji just hung his head in shame, the mood broken by Asuka's emergence and departure. Nearly to soft to be heard, "If you still want me to visit I will. Kaji-san has been coming over a lot and I want to give them space. Plus I don't want to impose on Rei-san to much. Things are…awkward between us right now." He finally found the courage to stop looking at the floor, "S-sorry about what she said too."

Clasping his hands between hers, Maya found strength in Asuka's animosity. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it. And don't let her bother you, Shinji-kun, she's just having a hard time," but she'd use it to maximum advantage. Giving his hands a shake, she reveled in the warmth they generated. "Well I best get back to work, Suzuhara and Soryu will be waiting for me for the next tests. Akagi-san is doing other work nowadays," she waved at him as he skulked off. She'd make him happy, make him forget that bitch, yes this could work well.

X-X

Crawling deeper into the air duct, one of the larger ones used for air conditioning, Kaji felt his satchel swaying back and forth. He had to get several more junctions down before he found the entrance port Ritsuko mentioned. So much data to find, so many secrets that Gendo was hiding from the command staff. The angel in the bowels of Nerv, whatever that lance Ayanami used to kill that thing attacking Asuka, and so much more were just the icing on the cake. They, Seele and Gendo, were plotting something big and he had to stop it.

The cold air kept him from getting to bothered by the small cramped space and the agonizing work of crawling through the vent. This sort of thing would have been better suited to a woman, smaller frame, as his shoulders ground against the sides. But Ritsuko had tests to run, and was under closer scrutiny to keep him under thumb. She told him about the new bodies, clones, she was working on to finish the Dummy System, only these were male. Well he hoped to find the details about that poor male today, and he prayed it wasn't Shinji.

Finally getting to the overlay junction, the computer wires intersecting with the A/C allowed him a place to hack in without fear of being seen. Rolling onto his back, he unpacked his laptop, and his wires. He had don't this song and dance enough times that it was routine, but he gave it every consideration. It only took one mistake to electrify him, or alert security, and that would be the end of him and likely others. Splicing several wires, clipping out the security protocols, Kaji booted up his system with his connection to Nerv's mainframe.

"Well you sick bastard, let's see what you're hiding today," Kaji mumbled as he put his pocket screwdriver into his mouth. Pulling out another of Ritsuko's presents to him, a modified access card, Kaji ran it through his USB reader. "Baby, I'll make it up to you, really will," he felt a stirring between his legs. She was an animal lately, raw and unbridled passion when they stopped their spy game. Damn near bruised him last night, but he'd suffer that over and over as penance for his crimes.

Chuckling as he watched the booting sequence processing, "Going to have to apologize to Shinji-kun. Most be odd for him right now, and with what I know about Ayanami." He shuddered, but he didn't know what to do about that. The lab results on Ayanami's DNA tests were late, likely intercepted, but without them he'd never get either teen to accept the facts. Ayanami Rei wasn't wholly human, she was part angel and an integral part of Gendo's plan, in multiple ways. "Alright let's start with Ritsuko's," Kaji typed in Ritsuko's password.

Grateful the programs he was running scrambled his login, Kaji was privy to Ritsuko's current work session down in Terminal Dogma. While Kaji was a smart man, he wasn't however an expert in cellular biology and genetics, which Ritsuko was working on. Capturing what he could to an external drive, he'd pass this on to his contact in the Japanese Government. They'd know better what she was doing, even her description of it was to hard for him to understand. Images from the camera showed a headless male body connected to advanced circuitry, left Kaji's stomach queasy. Just what the hell was Seele doing?

Screen capturing images of the bodies, the new systems, and blurring out Ritsuko's face, Kaji moved onto his next target after a half hour of observation. Pulling out the other card, a parody of Gendo's, Kaji licked his suddenly dry lips. "Let's see what your password is you freak," Kaji loaded up his list of words gleamed thankfully after Ritsuko installed it. While he was expecting something silly and sentimental, something to prove the man held some sense of emotion, but in the end it was a mixture of random numbers and letters. "Fitting, even in private you're devoid of anything resembling human warmth," Kaji started scanning files.

Uploading to his drive any file that appeared usable or telling, Kaji set the laptop further up the shaft. It would take time to finish the download, so until then it was just waiting in the cold and stale air. "He's going to regret trying to blackmail us," he was aware of the wait of his sidearm in his waist. A quick take down wasn't what he wanted though, no Kaji wanted to break Gendo and his horrid funders. They might have put Misato into a permanent coma, and were threatening even worse to Ritsuko if he didn't bend to their will. Well he wasn't helpless, and they'd pay for that.

"Wonder if I can visit Ritsuko again today, or should I give her a day?" he wondered as he started packing up. It took another hour to get all of the files he took from Gendo, but his window of egress was dwindling. From what he scanned, Gendo had the embryo he brought from Germany into his hand. The new body Ritsuko was working on was from a child born on the exact date of Second Impact…and had just as much history as Ayanami. "Another freak I bet, but maybe Ritsuko can deal with that one," he bagged his computer and started crawling.

It was slow going, to fast would make noise and alert anybody to 'somebody' in the vents. A spy in the grid would be intercepted by Security on escape. "I'll stop by to see how Shinji-kun is doing," Kaji climbed down from the vents onto the ground. Patting his treasure trove of dark secrets, he was going to get these details off as fast as possible. Going to check in with his cover story, Kaji made his way to the command deck to talk to his current roommate. Waving at the seated man, "Makoto-kun, things going good? Plans for the night?"

Casting a sidelong glance at Kaji, Makoto shrugged, "Not much to do really. Soryu tore up most of the automated defenses during that last fight. Crews are working around the clock, but the damage is likely too much to repair. But at least I don't have Ibuki's job today, seven straight hours with that girl. She just doesn't quit, even though nothing good comes from it." Pushing his glasses further up his nose, Makoto let out a big sigh of fatigue. Leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head, "As for tonight, nothing. Maybe go to one of the few open bars or just stay in to watch a movie or something. Going to Akagi's again?"

"Won't be staying the night this time, just want to see how Shinji-kun is doing. Haven't had time to talk to him in awhile," Kaji took a stroll about the command deck. It was mostly empty, Makoto and a few tech's he didn't know. It was getting late, and with so many of the crew abandoning their posts in fear had more empty seats than occupied. Spotting a heavy sealed folder at Makoto's side, "That for me?" was he wrong about those DNA evaluations?

Broken from his small bout of fatigue, Makoto rocked forward in his seat and slammed his feet on the ground. "Oh yeah, that came for you today. I signed for it for you, hope you don't mind," he grabbed the yellow inch thick envelope and handed it over. Rotating his arm around, "Think I'll ask Ibuki-kun if she wants to come over for a movie. So give a call before you come back, just in case things go good. She's been odd the last few days. Looking all dreamy and distracted, maybe she's forgiven me enough to try something." He looked oh so hopeful it was sad.

Cradling the document under his armpit, Kaji nodded in anticipation. "Sure thing. Tell you what I'll try to stay over instead. That way you won't have to worry, if I call its only to say I'm coming back," he wouldn't tell Makoto his real feelings. Maya wasn't going to ever forgive the man enough to date him, nobody would. Makoto exposed those not deserving it for a little tail, that type of thing couldn't be forgiven. But since Kaji was just as guilty of abusing trust, "Hope it goes good for you. Later." He waved and walked out thanking the gods for Ritsuko's forgiveness.

During the ride to the apartment, he fought the urge to tear into that report to see if his theory was correct. Reading it at Nerv though threatened exposure, getting that blood sample had been disgusting enough, stealing bandages from Rei's trash. "But it had to be done," and he just hoped that what he found didn't cause more problems for the girl. Rei wasn't to blame for her origin, or Gendo's plans for her, but she wasn't normal. Lighting up a smoke, Kaji noticed he had a pack of Ritsuko's instead of his own. "She's different though…not quite the same as before," but he still loved the woman beyond compare.

Pulling into his spot next to the numbered slot that was where Ritsuko parked, Kaji shoulder rammed his door to get it open. It groaned as the rusted joints resisted any motion, but finally relented. Rushing up the stairs, breathing heavily as he got up to the right floor, he vowed to get more exercise in the future. "Anybody home?" he asked walking in. Not hearing any music at Ayanami's he ventured either Shinji was home or the two gave up resisting teenage hormones.

"Oh, hello Kaji-san, Ritsuko-san isn't home yet. She called saying she has some unexpected tests to do with Ayanami," Shinji looked up from his book. Seated on the couch, the television was on a news station but wasn't paid any attention. Going back to his book, "I expected you so I have a plate of food for you in the fridge." The cats on the couch didn't even bother to thump their tails in Kaji's entrance.

Now this was what it felt like to come home to a family, Kaji thought. A meal waiting, people who cared, and just a sense of welcome, but sadly he couldn't stay as long as he wanted. Eventually Ritsuko would let him move back in, he prayed. Pulling his plate out of the fridge he put it into the microwave. "So you're running solo today then. Good! We haven't had a male bonding night since…" way to bring up sour ground quickly. After the ding, he grabbed some silverware, popped a beer into his pocket and joined Shinji on the couch. "Well it's been awhile since you and I had a talk just us. How have you been?" he set his bag on the coffee table along with his food.

Setting the book down next to Kaji's bag, a school book that was part of his home schooling, Shinji nodded. Grabbing his glass of juice, "It's been a little strange lately. Ritsuko-san and you not being the most of it." He blushed a little at his insinuation, but didn't sound angry or reproachful. "M-Maya-san asked me on a date today after my tests and Asuka-san overheard it. Other than that, things with Rei-san are…I don't know. Ritsuko-san said Rei-san might be confused, confusing her thanks for me being there for her with 'deeper' stuff," he turned to Kaji expectantly. Sipping his drink, he relaxed heavily against the armrest.

Ouch! Poor Makoto, losing his chance with Maya to Shinji, but Kaji had to admit he rather Shinji be with her. "Well that is something to be proud of. I was never with an older woman like that. But I'm thinking you're more experienced than she is. As for Soryu, Shinji-kun I think you're better off without her," she wasn't going to be around much longer. Kaji read the reports from Gendo, once the Fifth Child came, Soryu was on the outs and maybe destined for a bed right next to Misato's. Digging into his food, he washed it down with his beer and a mighty belch. "As for Ayanami, how do YOU feel about her and being in a relationship with her, Ibuki to for that matter?" he didn't know what to expect or what to hope for.

"Well," Shinji shuffled about in his seat as he thought about the question, "Maya-san has always been nice to me. She seems nice, and she's v-very attractive." He broke into a toothy grin as Kaji gave his shoulder a soft punch and a smirk of his own. "When she came over to check on Ritsuko-san…I won't lie and say I wasn't moved a little. As for Ayanami, I don't…I don't know. I KNOW I like her, but I'm afraid if I did try something with her and it didn't work out…who would be there for her when she needs help?" a fragile quality overcame the lad.

Turning the station from the news to a game show, Kaji polished off his food. Reclining back against the couch, "What if a relationship with Ibuki makes Ayanami upset? What if being with her helps her overcome her pain, or you not being with her leaves her open to some unscrupulous sort." Kaji beset the boy with questions. He had been in Shinji's place, and knew the only way to get an action is to force one. Shinji couldn't stew in doubt and fear. Handing his beer over to Shinji, he winked at him. "I'm not trying to force you into anything, or even question you, just know that good and bad will happen to you. Make the choice you feel is right, and don't doubt it. I doubted myself when it came to Misato and Ritsuko and that's why I made my mistake," he regretted that.

Eying the mouth of the can dubiously, Shinji hesitated for a moment before he took a sip. Almost thrusting the can away, his tongue comically out of his mouth, "That tastes nasty." Once the can was out of his face, he gummed his mouth a little in distaste, before he burst out laughing. After he recovered from the bout of the giggles, the pair settled into less serious conversation. While watching the show, they talked about how life had been for Kaji over at Makoto's, what Shinji did over at Ayanami's, and shared tales of Ritsuko's exploits as they knew them. After little over an hour of bonding, "Well I think I'm going to lay down. And Kaji-san…I'm glad your back and I'm sure Ritsuko-san is too."

"I missed this," Kaji stretched his legs out on the coffee table. Shinji was such a good part of his life, just like Ritsuko. He did wonder what exactly happened between Ritsuko and the boy, at times Kaji half suspected things went further than they said. Something about how the two looked at each other, so different than how they initially were. That fear, the apprehension both had been oozing those first few months, it was gone. Replaced with something that threatened to be stronger than what Kaji and she had. "Just being paranoid I think" he pulled out the DNA report and started reading.

He quickly felt the need to expunge the delicious supper he had. "I was right…oh how I wish I wasn't," he set the papers down. It took Ritsuko showing up later to re-evaluate the papers but in the end they knew the truth. That the passive and quiet girl that was living next door, was a human/angel hybrid. The human parentage was too muddled by the dominate angel DNA to get a solid match, not that it mattered. The girl was barren, Ritsuko confirmed, she didn't know why Gendo insisted she never do x-rays, but now they suspected why. It was doubtful Rei had a full complement of human organs…she was a freak, a monster. At least there was only one of her now, and not a tank. But what of the new bodies?!

X-X

Rolling off her bed, the blankets pooling on the ground, Asuka crawled over to her pile of clothing. All her more fashionable clothing was in a pile needing to be cleaned, so she put on a dirty school uniform. It didn't matter though. Who did she have to look good for? Who did she have to impress? School was closed, so all those people who she used to dress up for were either gone or she wouldn't see them. Hell she didn't even have Pen-Pen at the apartment anymore, she shipped that perverted bird off with Hikari when the girl left.

"Everybody leaves, or I drive them away," Asuka got off the ground and found a pair of semi-clean panties. Stepping into them, she pulled them up and let her finger linger a little. How long at been since even that part of her felt good? "Last real date I had with Shinji," she snickered at that. God she missed that, that feeling of being loved and accepted. But she let that get to her, let it distract her, and now she suffered for it.

Shambling to the kitchen, through the mess that the apartment had become, Asuka stepped over the tattered remnants of a happier life. "I miss Misato…Shinji…" she sniffed hard but would not cry. She still had her pride! Nothing was impossible for her, she'd reclaim it all…just watch. The couch was over turned, a pillow ripped apart, garbage from instant food and take out littered the floor along with bottles of water and soda.

Fixing herself some toast, the last of the loaf of bread, she slathered it in butter and jam. "Only thing I have to eat here anyway," she washed it down with water as she ran out of coffee a few days ago. It wasn't her place to go shopping for food, she had to focus on her score, had to recover. Then maybe Misato would wake up, her reward and things could start getting back together. A glob of jam fell on her shirt, she wiped her finger over it and licked it clean. "I need to work out too, getting fat," she patted a small little pudge she'd developed.

Not doing her exercises had left her with a little added weight. But the lack of food would soon take care of that. Since all the plates were either broken or dirty, she just dusted her skirt off, grabbed her shoes, and headed to Nerv for another day in LCL. She'd make whoever was the stooge and her caretaker today work well into the night. If she was exhausted maybe it would stem the dreams. Dreams of her mother, her real mother, calling her useless, telling her to join the woman in death. Sometimes the dreams got better with Misato breaking into the room to hug her, or Shinji smothering her in kisses and slow passionate lovemaking.

That last type of dream was the worst, it made her remember the actual act. Funny how something so simple and basic would be missed, but it was. Masturbation, she had tried it to keep the gloom and depression at bay, but it only worked for a moment and helped her fall asleep. How she went to sleep last night, and every night for the last week. "Sheets smell like a damn brothel, but I can't clean them…not until…" not until she was better, until she deserved to live.

Taking the train to Nerv, she found it sparsely populated. Not surprising when two of the four pilots were worthless, what hope did the civilians have to survive. Asuka caught sight of an older man, in his thirties or forties, giving her an appraising eye before disembarking the train. "Not even worthy of an old perverts attention now. I hate this…I hate everything," life was just pain. Walking the last bit of the way to Nerv, she just wallowed in her self pity.

Once she was a Child, a defender of humanity with a great boyfriend a wonderful role model, and the future was her oyster. Now she was scum, worthless, just some flotsam to be saved by those that shouldn't bother. Maybe that was why she told Ibuki the other day about Shinji's little skills, pushing him to see her. It would be better Ibuki than Ayanami simply because she saw Maya as easier to bump off if she ever recovered. Ayanami, girl was far stronger and better than Asuka had initial thought, sure lasted longer than she did.

Not even waiting until she got into the changing room, she was already taking her top off. Who would want to look at her anyway, the girl that was loosing ground every day. "Oh, you're here?" she asked deadpan as she found Touji staring blankly at her. Looking about the room, "Oh this is the men's side. Whatever." She just dropped her shirt and headed to the divider sans top since she hadn't bothered with a bra in days.

"R-Red you alright? You look tired," Touji asked while following closely behind. His suit was depressurized so it made flapping sounds as he hustled after her. "Sleeping alright?" he continued to gawk over the now nude Asuka.

The pig was watching her, getting off on her body, the old Asuka would have beat Touji down for that. Current Asuka couldn't care less, all he was doing was fawning over garbage. "I'm fine, and I'll be better once we get testing started," she had to crack that stupid toy! She was being denied by a tin can, a piece of shit that was to broke to realize she was in it! Everything defied her, everything hated her…so she hated it all back.

His eyes focused on her breasts, Touji let his eyes wonder down to her unkempt nether region. "Y-you sure you're a-alright?" he swallowed hard mollified by what he saw.

"Just go, Suzuhara, I'll deal with my problems myself," Asuka's eyes finally recaptured a little of their flame. Once he was gone though, she sulked again. What difference did any of this make? Try as hard as she could, and the only thing she was good at, the only things that mattered to her, were stripped from her. Slowly pulling the suit on, her fingers again traced her flower but only momentarily. "God…if you exist…make the hurting stop?" she crooned her head back to stare at the ceiling. It didn't answer.

After giving herself a moment, just one of peace, she got herself back up and headed to the testing chamber. Touji was there and still giving her a good amount of fixation. Maybe she'd let the pig fuck her, what she deserved anyway. Just a piece of meat to take the pain away for a little while. But what of Shinji? She loved him, and Touji was his friend! Shinji…that bastard just had to have everything go well for him without trying. Why wasn't he testing so hard to get better, why wasn't he alone, why did she have to push him away!

"I'll be keeping you two company today as Akagi-san is working on a special project for the Commander," Maya told the two pilots after the plugs began to fill with LCL. The tech offered the two pilots a sympathetic glance, as if she had any idea what it felt like to be in the shit for hours. "So just relax and do your best. I'll let you know when its over,"

Asuka hated that look of pity on the bitch's face. 'Oh how was your date with Shinji yesterday? Did he eat you out like you wanted? Did you soil your sheets on his face?' And countless other barbs flittered about Asuka's mind, but she didn't say any of them. No, she tried her best to clear her mind, tried to focus, but all she could see was Misato in a hospital bed…holding a doll of her and stroking its hair. Both her fears merging into one monstrosity and refused to leave her mind.

A solid hour of testing later, Asuka opened her eyes to see Maya talking to somebody she couldn't see. Akagi, Ryoji, maybe even Shinji whoever it was Maya had a smile a mile wide. The perturbed girl could see a blush on the girl's face, bashfulness, and desire lingering like shades of light out of a stained glass mural. Despite her better judgment, Asuka discreetly opened up the audio to spy on the slut who had the audacity to be happy.

"It was perfect! I couldn't have asked for a better evening…well maybe a little better. He was a perfect gentleman! And well…it took some coaxing and a little wine, but you wouldn't believe the things he could do with his tongue! I…I love him!" Maya squealed to her unseen partner. "Now I know this isn't officially a start of a relationship, he was drunk and I shouldn't have done that. But he needed it as much as I did I bet. Just…just have to wonder about Ayanami though. He said he doesn't know how he feels about her too, and then there is always…but she's well…once the Fifth gets here," Maya continued to prattle on but the topic changed to movies and other actives to stem off boredom.

Turning the volume back off, not that Asuka suspected Maya cared or even noticed her act of spying. No, Maya was enjoying the fruits of her labor…well it wasn't all hers. Shinji had been an apt student that wanted to please, and please he had done. So this was it then, she was going to be replaced if she didn't straighten up and get better. On top of that news was that Shinji wasn't waiting patiently for her to sort her shit out. Couldn't push and push and expect him to stay loyal. Loyal, HAH! Loyal to what, an out of shape and hollow girl who couldn't do the one this she was made for? She wanted to hate him, truly wanted to, but couldn't. No, she loved him and wanted him happy, and he couldn't be happy with her. Not the girl she was now, maybe that's why Misato was sick too. Maybe it was all her fault.

Stewing in her growing depression, thoughts of death and it relieving her of the pain of existing grew in her mind. Nothing remained of the life she had cherished, that she wanted. Just bitter reminders of what she had squandered. Several hours of dark thoughts ended eventually.

"Well that about does it for today, unless you want to go another round Soryu-kun," Maya still had that blasted happy face on.

A bitter part of Asuka wanted to go warn Ayanami about this, hell…tell anybody just to share the misery. 'Guess what Ayanami, Ibuki is going to start fucking Shinji soon so unless you want to lose your chance at him you better drop your panties!' But she knew Shinji wasn't the type to want a girl just for a warm body. He wasn't…Asuka eyed Touji as she climbed out of the plug. "I'm done today," she told Maya as she dripped LCL all over the floor.

This could work, he was a boy and a pervert. It would take the misery away for a while, never know maybe he was better at it than Shinji was! They said the athletic types had big dicks, though Shinji had been nearly to big for her, she could just lose herself in lust. "Not like I have Shinji to turn to anymore. He's moved on, gotten a better model," she snickered at that. A few months ago she was top of the line, well this brand was defective!

Finding Touji fighting with his suit, Asuka pushed the release button for him. "Suzuhara, want to fuck?" she asked dead pan. It wasn't an emotional thing, not like with him, no this was just an act. Part of her understood now why Misato had her boyfriends back in Germany. Misato was running from her past, and Asuka was more Misato's daughter now than Kyoko's. Pushing the button on her suit, as Touji had yet to move or respond, "Do I have to spell it out for you? Sex. You and me, right here and right now." She grabbed his hand and pulled it to her exposed breast.

Touji for his part, swallowed hard and gave the flesh a hard inexperience grope. "B-but what about Shin-man…and I got Hikari over in Tokyo-2," he spoke slowly but tried squeezing again. To much pressure, far to much force as if he was turning an old fashion TV dial.

Weak, this jerk was far to weak to resist any offered body, Asuka realized. "Shinji's moved on. Over heard Ibuki talking about a date she had with him, and Ayanami has had a thing for him for ages. Now that we're done…and hell not like I'll tell Hikari about this if you don't," she grabbed the shoulders of his plug suit. Pulling them down so she could get a good look at him, she nearly laughed. He was rock hard, and only half the size of Shinji. Guess that little bit of bathroom gossip was wrong. "Come on, lets get some towels to lay down," she was dragging him to the women's side.

Touji followed willingly and even helped set up the four towels that made their 'bed'. "I-if ya sure…I still feel bad though. Shin-man keeps saying he hopes you take him back. But if you's saying its over," he shrugged he had convinced himself all he needed. "And not like you and me going to date or shit, right? I like Hikari," he let his hand trail down her little less taught stomach.

Wasn't this rich, she wasn't even good enough for Touji to date, just a fuck for him. "No, this isn't a relationship, this is just two people fucking who can't get anybody else," Asuka announced. When Touji moved in to kiss her though, that last bit of pride the little she'd never be without flared, "Who the hell said you could kiss me. I said fuck me, not kiss. You don't get that." She yanked back on the scruff of hair at his neck to emphasize her point.

He didn't even last three minutes before filling her with his essence. Asuka laughed as he panted and asked her if he was better than Shinji. Leave it to men to make even sex a competition between one another. No he wasn't better than Shinji, they were in separate leagues. But at that moment, it didn't matter, all that mattered was the sensation…the drowning out of her mind and sanity with that one little act. And when Ayanami showed up, called in by Ritsuko for some testing…well Asuka didn't even bat an eyelash as Rei found the two of them together. She did wonder if Rei was going to tell Shinji…she hoped not but knew better. A moment of stupidity, weakness that now permeated her, likely ruined everything. Figures, life hated her and she it.

X-X

Sitting in the galley, a plate of bland tasting food in front of him, Gendo enjoyed his late supper. It wasn't necessarily the food, it had been ages since he ate a meal he considered good. The company was what made the meal slightly more enjoyable than his standard instant meals. He had to insure his pawn was still loyal, and he did hate to admit it but meals with Rei were a pleasant distraction. Basking in the image of Yui was nice, provided him the memory of what his actions were for. But today he couldn't refute the fact that his little toy was distracted.

Glad that his mere presence was enough to drive the normal crew out of the room, Gendo didn't have to monitor his speech. "Is something wrong with the food, you are not eating," he was famished himself. Going without food for a full day or longer was expected when one had as much work to do as he had. The last time he ate was at least a full day ago. Tilting his head in Rei's direction, "My supper request was not inconvenient to you was it?" If she was starting to drift out of his control, he'd have to make efforts to change that.

The salad she was eating, devoid of any dressings or flavors, was half eaten and at a leisurely pace. "Not inconvenient at all, I saw an event yesterday in the changing room that I was not expecting," Rei sipped her water. Her clothing was mussed a little, hair unkempt, and unlike normal she had the faintest look of perturbed. Dabbing her lips with the napkin, "I apologize for my distraction."

His eyebrow peaked at the unexpected comment. What would the normally oblivious girl have to see to make her act this way? Picking at his chicken and noodles, "What was it? It's not normal for you to let external things bother you, aside…" Oh he was to enjoy the rest of his day today, Kozo was finally going to be dealt with. Thankfully the committee no longer cared about the man, so it was time to get that pain dealt with.

"I saw Pilot Suzuhara and Pilot Soryu engaged in the act of coupling in the changing rooms. They were not expecting my arrival, yet Pilot Suzuhara did not stop until he reached his end," Rei pushed her plate away from her. Whatever she fully saw, the memory of it left her without appetite. Tilting her head to the side, "I am unsure what to do with this knowledge. Soryu has been in a declining mental state, and that perplexes me. And if it was an issue of forced engagement, would he try such why myself."

So the girl saw some raunchy act and it was messing with her head, possible problem. Was it because she was interested in such, or was it just the memories of what happened to her? Grabbing her bowl of lettuce, he started finishing her food. No reason to let it go to waste. "And why does this concern you at all. Who the other pilots relate with should be no issue of yours. If it starts to be a distraction, I can have Akagi start scheduling your testing away from the others," he couldn't risk losing her. Without the other clones, he could not lose this copy, not when he was so close!

Sitting daintily, Rei simply nodded at Gendo's command. "It will not be a matter of concern to bring Akagi-san into this. She is busy enough with my additional testing." Rei sounded almost trying to change the topic, the girl refused to meet the man's gaze. "It was only an unexpected event to see, as memory of Pilot Soryu in the past contradicts what I saw on the floor," a soft almost indistinguishable blush adorned her cheeks.

"Rei," Gendo pointed his chopsticks at her as his voice raised a single octave, "the time is drawing near for your true purpose. I cannot have you getting distracted by useless things now." He let her see his anger, it always worked before. She was loyal based on fear of disappointment, her upbringing a constant reminder of failure is met with replacement and abandonment. "I have allowed you liberties in light of my negligence in the past, but I can take those away if you start to let your loyalties waver," he finished off his food and hers.

Her head bobbed in a sharp motion, snapping back to attention. "I am aware of the time, and I apologize for causing you to doubt me, sir," Rei was back in full on military mode. The small bonding session was over, Rei slipped back into official pilot status as easily as pulling on socks. Getting out from under the table, her hand going to salute, "I will not allow Pilot Soryu's new relationship with Suzuhara to influence my state of mind. And I will not let it interfere with your plans."

For a moment Gendo hesitated, he doubted the sincerity of his pawn. But with her standing at attention, eyes hard and devoid of feeling, he relaxed. She was damaged true, so he had to allow for some small changes to the planned scenario. "You are dismissed. Get some rest as the next angel is overdue," he saluted her to put her at ease. As she started to walk away, "Rei…" he almost asked about the Third Child but couldn't, "continue to distance yourself from the Second, her time is nearly up."

"Understood, sir," Rei nodded again and after a moment of pause headed off to whatever she did when alone. It was all documented by cameras outside of Nerv, but her apartment it seemed had faulty wiring as all the spying devices failed to work properly.

Taking the dirty dishes to the garbage, Gendo deposited them and fixed his bunched up sleeves. "So the Second is even closer to useless than expected," he had expected better from the pride the girl had. If nothing else she had kept the Third in line and piloting, a noteworthy distraction. Now though she'd just add to the Third's pain, another notable necessity for the scenario's completion. Making his way towards the detention cells, the man smirked widely. "Maybe her decline will even serve me," a broken Third would keep him away from Rei. That was an issue he dreaded, losing any additional control over Rei.

The two guards outside the entrance to the security wing both saluted as Gendo approached. "Sir," they mirrored in perfect unison. The man on the left opened the door for the approaching commander.

Pulling his security card out of his pocket, he opened the room to Kozo's private cell. Unfolding the metal chair that only he used, Gendo sat next to his old sensei. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor and respirators echoed in the room, "So, enjoying your time down here?" The rage he saw in that old bastards eyes was exquisite.

"Going do it yourself are you? Not going to use your lackeys to do it for you?" Fuyutski forced his aged body to sit up. Breathing heavily, deathly pale and sweating, the old professor had a dazed and fanatic countenance. After a bought of coughing, "Expected you to force Ryoji to do it, coward, keep him under thumb. Or have you given up on that and now he's your master?"

Pouring Kozo a glass of water, Gendo could hardly hold back his jovial state. "Ryoji is now my errand boy. Telling Seele and the JSSDF exactly what I want him too. I got his women, so he won't risk any action against me," Gendo was particularly proud of that. The great spy that the UN tried to use against him was now at his beck and call. How the confident double agent was undermined was poetic justice. Anybody that took Gendo lightly was in for a surprise. Handing the water to the man who snatched it bitterly, "Only two angels remain before I am reunited with the REAL Yui. It's a shame you won't be here to see it."

Sipping the water, coughing up more than he put down, Kozo started laughing. "Fool, the real Yui was before you and you couldn't accept it. You could never accept things you didn't like or want. Just like your son! Terrified of a four year old, how I wish the committee could see the real you," he reclined in his bed again. "Go ahead, do what you came for. But when you fail in your goal, I'll watch you fall to hell with Yui in my arms," Kozo hurled his glass at Gendo. Sadly due to his weakened state the glass didn't even get halfway to the target before hitting the ground.

Turning down the oxygen output from the machines, Gendo sneered at Kozo's last barb. "I am not afraid of the Third, and you were wrong old man. Yui will never be there for you, and it's you who will have a private circle in hell," it was only fitting for somebody who abused children like Kozo did. Hearing the rasping breaths, the gnarled hand clawing at Kozo's chest flailed about…flailed…stopped.

Standing over the man whose breath was going shallower and shallower, Gendo felt satisfaction in this. "Should have done this the moment I learned what you did," Gendo put a pillow over Kozo's face. Rei wasn't Yui, but she was a living creature and a child. Even Gendo wasn't vile enough to bring about what Kozo did to that girl, and it wasn't all related to needing Rei either. After observing Kozo's last breath, and smelling the voided bowels, Gendo left the room and informed the guards of the unfortunate accident. Good men, they didn't even question it, one he thought smiled at him.

X-X

Damn did she need a cup of coffee, but Ritsuko didn't have time to refill the pot. No, Gendo insisted that due to her breakthroughs on the Dummy System she continue working on it to finalize some deadline. Joke was going to be on the fucker and his little friends in Seele. Kaji's hacking and her own encounter with the Angel in Terminal Dogma exposed a lot of potential pain. She'd make the system for them, it'd look like it'd work too. "But just see what happens when you run the thing for over twenty minutes without the Magi correcting the flaw," she cackled.

Rubbing her eyes, nearly twenty hours without sleep, Ritsuko left her lab and made for the upper levels of the base. She wanted food, sex, and silence but was likely only going to get the first and last of those. "Thank god for Shinji-kun. Without him I don't know what I'd do," she mused as she got the lunch he made for her out of her office. With cloth covered bundle in hand, Ritsuko made her way towards her next stop, the galley to eat. Passing a few engineers who appeared to be mournful, she had an extra skip to her step. "We'll recover from the loss of Fuyutski, don't let his passing bother you," she said idly as she passed the duo.

They were shocked at her flippant and happy attitude, openly appalled at how little she cared. Good, who cared what they thought anyway since they didn't know the truth. Idiots believed the cover story that Kozo wasn't a sick child molester, let them believe he died peacefully in his sleep two days ago. Oh Ritsuko hoped whoever killed the old coot made him suffer.

"Let's see what he's made for me today," she licked her lips as she unpackaged her meal. With Kaji off turning in more of the gleamed hidden intel, Ritsuko didn't need to kick the poor lad out of the apartment as she got a hot meat injection. So she let her boy bring a friend over, and that friend was Ritsuko's favorite hybrid. Opting not to tell either Rei or Shinji the truth, Ritsuko figured it didn't matter really. They were friends, so why complicate things. And, a small grudge against Maya, she hoped the teens hit it off. Judging by the sneaking glances during the movie, and the ten minutes it took Shinji to walk her 'home' as the night ended…well Ritsuko hoped it went well.

Overjoyed at the food options Shinji provided, Ritsuko felt even better. Sure she had to sneak into Shinji's bed last night, the night terrors were back with a vengeance, but he didn't even seem to mind. What an odd turn of events for them, but Ritsuko wouldn't let him down ever. Kaji had betrayed her, and while she was tentatively taking him back, she'd never let him as deep into her heart again. The deepest parts of her were sealed off to him, but she couldn't refuse Kaji the rest of her. Shinji though, that odd boy she was so afraid of nearly a year ago…well that little bastard was special now.

"And then we watched a movie until we were both feeling good from the wine," Maya gushed to a few of her new found work friends. Smiling broadly and talking in tones just a little to loud to be secret, "I didn't know how good it could feel. He went d-down between my legs…but when I went to return the favor he said didn't have to!"

And then there was that nonsense, Ritsuko groaned inwardly. Calling out loudly, "Maya how are the tests going today. Sorry I haven't had time to check in on Soryu or Suzuhara." One little bit of foreplay and Maya was on cloud nine, never once questioning why Shinji didn't let her suck his tool. To Ritsuko was evident, Shinji stalled the girl and gave her what she wanted. If he let things go further, well they'd be in relationship territory. As they were now, well it was just drunken fooling around, and he didn't have the guilt of being serviced. Smart kid, placate Maya's inebriated advances while leaving himself an out.

Alternating between the two women with her, Maya's face went full crimson as she stood up suddenly. "Oh, Akagi-sempai, I didn't see you come in," lies as Maya had honed in on the woman instantly. Let the games be played though, no matter. "Suzuhara-kun is in Unit-00 now on some routine defense drills, but Soryu-kun is…well she's late," Maya shrugged a little. Mayhap in her joy the tech didn't check on her duties in favor of trying to dispel the rumors of her being Ritsuko's lesbian lover.

All Ritsuko had to do in order to ruin Maya's cultivated illusion would be to tell those little bitches WHO Maya's date was. Doubt they'd be so interested in hearing Maya had her hopes likely on marrying a fourteen year old. "No matter, Maya, she likely still needs some time to get over the issue with the angel," Ritsuko would let Maya have her lies. It didn't matter, just like those fools with Kozo, ignorance was rampant at Nerv. But time was running out apparently. From the data Kaji gathered only two angels remained, then humanities greatest enemy would strike at them, itself.

Listening half heartedly to Maya's continued ramble, Ritsuko ate in peace. Such a simple thing as a homemade lunch, had Kaji ever done something so basic for her in all their years together? No, but then again Kaji wasn't the type of man to do such. Apples to oranges. Kaji would surprise her with a midday romp in her office, or snuggling on the couch with a drink. She could really go for a drink and a movie right now. So maybe she was selling Kaji a little short, but with Kaji came the memory of betrayal.

Snapping the lid shut on her now empty food, Maya had left a few minutes before she finished, Ritsuko patted her belly contently. "Another delicious meal," she licked her fingers to capture the last of the juices that dribbled. Getting up she stopped upon seeing something unexpected, a mop of blue hair peeking at her from the doorway. "Hello Ayanami, didn't expect to see you skulking around here today," she expected her to be with Shinji.

Approaching Ritsuko quickly, Rei cautiously scanned the room for others. "I had want to speak to you if you have time. I have…something I wish to tell you," a foreign sense of fear ebbed out of the girl. Leaning in close, hot breath peeling from her mouth down Ritsuko's neck, "In private."

Normal people would have been unnerved at knowing a half monster was standing in front of her. Ritsuko was beyond that, had been weeks after the tank was discovered and destroyed. Leading Rei to her office, the albino didn't say a word the entire walk. Once the door was closed and locked, "So what is so important you couldn't wait until our Dummy System work later today? Is it related to Shinji, Maya, both, or something else?" Knowing Rei as she did, Ritsuko suspected a little unfathomed jealousy.

Rei wasn't momentarily stalled from her mindset. "I…well I am confused when Shinji-kun and I touch, it doesn't feel bad…I have no ill sensation and in fact enjoy it greatly. Ibuki I am unaware why I should be concerned with her. No, my reason for being here is more important," Rei rattled off. Had her eyes not wandered away from Ritsuko's she'd not have looked as adorable or as lost. Thoughts of boys, kisses, and sex were not on her mind, Rei moved within an inch of Ritsuko. "Commander Ikari plans to destroy humanity in its current state," she said in one rushed and nearly silent breath.

Gasping loud, not at the news since she knew that already, Ritsuko was stunned that Rei was turning sides, or at least trying. Leading the girl to the small couch in her office, the one Kaji would take her on from time to time in better days, Ritsuko sat her down. Just as softly, "I figured as such, considering what we know about what is in Terminal Dogma, and what we've been testing you with. You…likely suspect a few things yourself." Rei had to know she wasn't a normal girl after everything that had been brought to life.

Nodding her head one time, Rei gripped the hem of her skirt. "I suspect I am the key to his plans, I…I am not normal. He said I was replaceable before my sisters were destroyed. Now he keeps me away from my only bond to humanity, no…not my only bond. But if he knew my origins, Shinji-kun would…no it is better he be with Soryu if she recovers or…" Rei stopped once Ritsuko grabbed her shoulders and gave her a violent shake.

"Stop that shit right now," Ritsuko was grim and her grip hardened, "You're no less a person than that snooty bitch or that timid mouse of a girl. You're better than them if nothing else." Ritsuko wasn't going to see this girl that suffered so much lump more pain on herself for things not her control. "All I'll say about the former is that I know and plans are in the works, the latter…I say don't let it bother you. Nothing matters in this life other than trying to survive it the best you can. Shinji-kun, even if he learns of this, he won't judge you. Do you think he's that shallow?"

Stunned, Rei slowly went to agree with the woman, but the angel alarm cut her off. Both women just sat without breathing as the siren churned louder and louder in the small office. "I must go get suited," Rei was on her feet and out the door leaving Ritsuko to her own fate.

Now of all times, why couldn't these bastard things take years between attacks! Ritsuko ran to the command deck as fast as her legs could carry her. Kaji was there smiling at her when she walked on deck, and damn it all if she didn't smile and wave back. Yes, no matter how hard she tried her heart was tied to that man. "What is the status?" she asked after closing the distance.

"Bad," Kaji said somberly. "Shinji-kun is getting suited up, he came in with me to see somebody, who he didn't say," Kaji eyed the back of Maya's head but only shrugged. "Suzuhara is being launched now to stall the angel, but the real problem is," Kaji just pointed at the third screen that showed Asuka.

Over the speaker they could all hear the once proud and mighty German crying out pitifully. "It won't work…it won't…won't accept me," she was curled in a ball, arms wrapped around her legs. Her sync ratio was zero, no hope of activating her mighty beast. She had failed utterly.

Ritsuko found it funny that she got no joy in seeing Asuka like that. Hadn't she once hoped for the brat to be brought low? Well she was regretting that now. "Get her out and replace the harmonics with Ayanami. It'll take time, but as long as Suzuhara and Shinji-kun aren't defeated or kill it we might need her," Ritsuko started working on her station to do just what she ordered.

The angel the could all see was a dual halo hovering over the earth. It made no motion, no attack, it just spun endlessly around in its spirals. That changed however when Unit-00 emerged from the ground, Suzuhara's additional testing providing the youth less start up time. That was when the newest angel made its move, diving inward towards the blue colossus.

"We don't know what it's capable of, so try to do…dge," Kaji called out but it was to late. Even if Touji had been a more skilled pilot, the speed and reaction time of the angel would have gotten them. Shinji now and Asuka in her prime could have dodged, but sadly Touji and Rei weren't up to snuff in actual combat. "What's the damage, what is it doing to him?" Kaji asked trying not to hear the horrified scream.

Shinji's frantic calls to launch him were also ignored by the command staff, Gendo was still leery of sending the Purple behemoth out it seemed. It was Maya that turned down Touji's painful bellows, "It's attempting to merge with Unit-00 through its hand and chest. Contamination at twenty-five percent and rising."

Whatever the commander wanted, Ritsuko didn't care and with a glare at Kaji, "Launch Unit-01 to try and distract it. If we can get it away from Unit-00 we might fight off the invasion." She was releasing the locking mechanisms on Shinji, but she didn't have the launch controls. "We can't lose Unit-00," and Asuka was fighting her extraction tooth and nail.

"Agreed, we cannot lose Unit-00," Gendo relented and pointed at Kaji who launched Shinji into the fray.

The command staff, all of Nerv that could, watched as its mightiest champion landed into the battleground. With most of the camera gear destroyed it was spotty at best, but the could fill in the blanks from the reports from Maya and Makoto. Shinji was dodging the side of the Angel not imbedded in Unit-00's chest. But whenever Shinji scored a hit, it was Touji's agonized cries that filled the base.

"I can't hurt it, it only hurts Touji!" Shinji cried out in frustration. His face a mixture of concern and building battle fatigue.

Working faster and harder, Ritsuko was doing her best to hack through Asuka's stubbornness. "I can't get the overrides to work, I can't get her out!" she cried out angrily and slammed her hands against he panel. "What is the contamination at?" she asked Maya who was paling by the moment.

"O-over fifty percent, the pilots readings are…I don't know," Maya covered her mouth with her hands. Tears building at the corner of her eyes, she continued to watch horrified as Touji's face mutated. They could all see the pilot inside the cockpit as veins pulsated across the youth's body and face.

"S-SHINJI!" Touji bellowed over his own screams, "I'm sorry! Oh god this hurts so bad…SHINJI! I'M sorry! I didn't mean to!" Unit-00 waggled on the ground trying to shoot and stab the intruding angel to no effect.

Unable to attack without hurting his friend, Shinji just dodged and countered when he could. "What are you talking about Touji? You can't give up, you have to fight this! I'll…I'll find a way to save you," Shinji cried out as he rolled Unit-01 to avoid a furious onslaught of blows.

The base wasn't expecting what Touji said next, not given the dire situation. "I slept with the Kraut. Shouldn't have…knew she was," he grunted as the pain increased but his body stopped moving as fast. "She was acting odd…I missed Hikari…s-s-o…oh god make it stop hurting please!" he croaked out pitifully. "T-tell Hikari I-I'm sorry…w-w-watch over Mari for me," he reached out at the camera on his screen towards Shinji.

"Contamination at eighty-nine percent and rising, the angel will have control soon!" Maya nearly screamed.

The room went silent though when Gendo gave the order, "Activate its self destruct. Do it before we lose control over it. Unit-00 is lost as is its pilot, but we can use its defeat to kill the angel. Ibuki now!" Gendo slammed his fist down in a rare show of anger.

Either due to the stunned nature of the command, her own fear, or purely accident Maya did as ordered. Shinji's cries not to, that another way could be found weren't heeded. No…the mighty Cyclops exploded in a ball of terrible light after the angel and it mutated into a parody of human sight.

An hour later, Ritsuko walked over to Shinji sitting at the new lake formed from Unit-00's destruction. Rei was with her, but Ritsuko went the last twenty yards alone, the albino's resolve failed her. "Shinji," was all she got out before she felt Shinji's arms around her waist hugging her fiercely. "Let it out," she asked him, but he didn't cry he just hugged her harder. What else could she do now, his friend was dead, and now they were down an Evangelion.

That night Ritsuko ordered Shinji to sleep at Rei's as she took Kaji into her bed again. It wasn't that she wanted anything, but hoped Shinji got some form of relief. A relief she couldn't give him but he deserved.

X-X

Authors notes

Yeah lot darker chapter, but I think it fits. I had worries that the Asuka scene was to much, but it fits with self destructive tendencies. When the pain gets to much people take any option they think they have. Hope you agreed to some degree and enjoyed the chapter. Ritsuko is still not fully taking Kaji back, hope I got that part across. This story is/was written more to have the adults perspective than the pilots, they're rich and interesting characters that I think get overlooked to much.

Well enough of my prattle, have a merry 'insert holiday here' and hope we don't all die on 12/20/2012 (don't personally believe it but the world is odd)

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	24. Chapter 24

Standard Disclaimer

Well this story really is approaching its end, makes me a little sad since its one of my few 'serious' stories. No matter pleanty more where this came from. Work's gone loopy again, but that's what happens in big business. Weather has gone all cold to…I want to SWIM!

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 24

Staring into the soft smile and wavy grey hair of on Kaworu Nagisa, Ritsuko felt her skin crawl and her bowels loosen and threaten to spill. Having advanced knowledge of what Rei was and Seele's plans, Ritsuko knew what she was seeing while her new subordinate had not a clue. Watching the trio of pilots, working at synchronizing with their test plugs, she lowered the value on Kaworu's deeper. He could sync at any level he wanted as if it was nothing. He was an angel or a hybrid made from the real angel Seele had, and he'd been seen with Shinji on multiple occasions. Just great.

"To think Nagisa-kun could be so skilled at this so quick. It took Ayanami and Soryu nearly years to get this good," Makoto bobbled as he struggled at Ritsuko's side. Four days past the detonation of Unit-00 and the sixteenth angel, the man was not taking to being Maya's replacement well. Stealing a glance at the woman's exposed calf, "Any word on Soryu-kun by the way?"

Her leg jumped slightly as her crossed legs fidgeted, but Ritsuko didn't care if the little perv continued to eye pump her. "Well Nagisa-kun has been off in a UN training facility for most of his life, much like Ayanami. Maybe he just took to it better than she did," Ritsuko found the fake data atrocious. Kaworu was born on the exact date of Second Impact? Seele had to either think Nerv idiots or simply didn't care for subtly. Putting her feet back down on the floor, no more gawking for Makoto she mumbled, "As for Soryu…I don't know."

"Is it true she ran away after they got her out of Unit-02?" Makoto pressed on regardless. Having not been privy to the sensitive details until recently, Makoto didn't know of Asuka's planned replacement. His hands bungled and hammered awkwardly on the keyboard as he read from a notebook of shortcuts he garnered. Rolling his hand over as he finalized some processes, "How they mighty have fallen. When that girl got here she was always so proud and full of herself. Now she's replaced and running from Section-2."

Leaning into her microphone and flipping it on, "You three are done. Nagisa-kun you have to report to medical for a check-up, Ayanami…" Ritsuko saw Shinji's face cloud over. How much pain was life going to throw at that poor child? She hated being the bearer of bad news for him, why couldn't she tell him good things. "The commander has requested your presence again," she offered Shinji a forced smile. The commander had been taking nearly all of Ayanami's time since the last angel, leaving Shinji nearly alone…alone save for Kaworu.

"Ah so I'll get to see the lovely Tachibana-san again. She's such a charming woman," Kaworu sounded nonplused by the required poking and prodding. "Ayanami-san, Shinji-kun I'll see you two tomorrow, or later today if you're not busy Shinji-kun," the boy was polite and just a little off putting.

Watching as Shinji helped Rei out of her tank, Ritsuko only hoped that soon something good came Shinji's way. "As for Soryu, she had a hard childhood until Misato got ahold of her. Add to it what happened to the Major and how would you react?" Ritsuko's eyebrow rose just a little. This man was just impossible at times. Mocking children for suffering and pain even after he sold secrets for time between the sheets. Rubbing her bridge she just wanted to leave and get a drink with Kaji. "So how are you doing learning Maya's old job? I know it was sudden to spring on you, but with what happened we don't have a choice," odd how swiftly Ritsuko found herself missing the girl.

Either not caring about being seen or expecting Ritsuko to be focused elsewhere, Makoto openly watched Rei's plugsuit clad body walk off. "Maybe you're right about Soryu, just odd is all I'm saying. Odd like that new pilot, kid gay or something?" Makoto continued to ogle the teenager until she was out of view. Once his perversion was filled, he picked up his collection of papers, "As for this little job, I'll get it soon. So Maya really quit huh, think she's leaving the city?"

Starting the shutdown process to her console, Ritsuko knew the answer to that but considered what to say to others. "Well I spoke to her yesterday about Shinji's schedule. She wants to tell him goodbye before leaving for Tokyo-2. She's going to visit him tomorrow since he doesn't have any tests," Ritsuko made a mental reminder to cancel Rei's meeting. If nothing else it would allow Shinji to have some time with somebody not a double agent. Rei's purpose in Gendo's plans was unknown, but Kaworu's was known…to be Seele's agent. Smirking at Makoto's open faced stare she had to twist the knife, "Apparently Maya had a small thing with Shinji starting before the incident. Didn't get too far but she wants to tell him she'll wait for him until things here to end here."

"But she…I thought she was…that I…" the man was completely crestfallen. Slumping back into his chair, his papers splayed across the floor. "He's only fourteen! That's, that's sick!" Makoto yelled out at Ritsuko.

Patting his shoulder, Ritsuko just shrugged, "Maya was always a bit different. Either being considered my girlfriend, a prude, and now a pedophile. Must be hard for her to be so quickly judged by people who like her." Sure Maya spurned her so she should be more bitter, but at the time she wasn't very much herself anyway. While Kaji had been off with Misato, Ritsuko knew her life had been…different. If it hadn't been for Shinji she doubted she'd still be alive with her depression being what it was. Now she was keeping secrets from him while helping Kaji. "Well Kaji and I have to get going, make sure to put Nagisa's physical into the system before end of day," she waved at the sulking man and left the room.

"You really put the nails to him, hun," Kaji surprised the good doctor with a hug from behind and a peck on the cheek. Shifting his weight from leg to leg, he swayed with her while keeping his lips close to her ear. Whispering softly, "I got access to Gendo's private reports about Ayanami's health. She's not sickly at all, healthier than any of us. Mainly because instead of a uterus she's got an S2 organ." Releasing her, Kaji slid his hand over to hers and grasped it, speaking louder, "So how went the newest day of testing?"

Heading to the changing rooms, Ritsuko gave his hand a solid squeeze. Kaji had moved back in after the sixteenth angel, no more halving it. Things were going to escalate quickly now that Seele had played its first move. It was hard, but Ritsuko had to take extra effort to not expose or dispose of the would be usurper that was the Fifth child. She had the means and the desire, but the only thing stopping her was fear of exposure. But if Nagisa hurt Shinji, Ritsuko's hands clenched even harder…In a way Shinji had replaced Kaji in Ritsuko's heart, but while she loved Shinji she was 'in love' with Kaji and that was the difference.

"Ouch babe, lay off a little or you'll take some of them with you," Kaji yanked his hand free of Ritsuko's mad clench. Wiggling his hand as he leaned against the wall by the door, "Take it tests went poorly, or is this just your way of revenge for me leaving the seat up this morning." His foot tapped nervously against the ground making for an echo akin to bb's dropping on tin. They were always cautious now, they had to be with both Seele and Gendo breathing down their necks. One slip now and they'd never be seen again.

Eyes going distant, Ritsuko pulled back into her mind her vision 'seeing' but not processing any of it. "Just thinking of the cruelty of it all. Kid gets a girlfriend, I might have thought it bad at the time, and then loses her to the girl's breakdown. He has friends only to see them either leave like his classmates or die like Suzuhara. Then there is Ayanami and whatever you want to make of that. Now he's got a new friend that is likely the last angel according to your sources. And while he supported me while you were gone…" she felt herself spitting out the last part with a mixture of fear and revulsion. "There is nothing I can do for him…how is any of this fair?" she finally started seeing again and first thing she saw was a very concerned Kaji gazing back at her.

"We do what we can is all, babe, we do what we can," he reached out for her but she stayed out of grasp. Kaji had to know he'd never get a full pardon for his crimes, not after the severity of them. But the lovable oaf tried to make up for it. Pulling his pack of smokes out of his pocket, the spy offered Ritsuko one who took it. "When this is all over we can focus on making things better for our favorite pilot. But until then we have to play it safe. Keep him in the dark or he'd expose us and all we're working for," though Kaji didn't sound to enjoy the fact himself.

After a few minutes of pure silence, Shinji and Rei both walked out of the male side of the changing room. "Kaji-san, Ritsuko-san are you two done for the day too? I thought you would be working all night again," Shinji's sullen expression brightened a tad upon seeing his pseudo-parents. Taking an unconscious step further away from the young Ayanami, they had been nearly shoulder to shoulder, he turned to the girl with a soft smile. "Guess we won't be able to play that duet again today. M-maybe one of these days you'll not have to stay so late," those pained words sent the lad into a crestfallen almost haggard expression.

"Speaking of that, Ayanami," Ritsuko was going to get started on what little she could do. "I have enough data to work on the system without you know. So tomorrow you won't have to come in," the commander be damned. Angel or hybrid it didn't matter to Ritsuko, not now. Rei was going to be there for Shinji where she couldn't, and it was obvious the girl had feelings for Shinji. "So take the day to relax and keep yourselves from burning out. We're nearly at the end," she gave Rei a knowing look. It wasn't hard to see what the Commander was doing with his late night meetings with Rei. He was prepping the girl for end game, maybe tomorrow Rei could fill them in on those little secrets.

Her hand trailed down Shinji's arm as a ghost of a smile crested her pale features, Rei took Ritsuko's news well. "Tomorrow we shall speak about matters," a quaint hint of joy was barely discernible in the girl's voice. Moving down the corridor, Rei stopped turned and saluted her two superiors, "Ryoji, Akagi, and Shinji-kun." And just like that the enigmatic girl turned down another corridor clad in her school uniform (odd since school had been canceled for weeks now) leaving only her footfalls echoing down the hall.

Giving Shinji's shoulder a small and painless punch, Ritsuko leaned in close to the blushing lad. "Seems you two are quite cozy right now. It's a shame she has to be onsite so much, you could use a distraction from all this madness," this was how she liked seeing him, happy. Wrapping a guiding arm around his shoulder, Ritsuko led the boy towards the car with Kaji close behind sandwiching Shinji between them. Shinji felt warm at her side, a small blazing furnace. "You did well on your tests too, all three of you," a sense of unity wafted over her like a blanket.

Close, but not as close as Ritsuko, to the boy, Kaji took up flanking position just in case. They both agreed that they needed to keep Shinji safe from any potential kidnapping plots. The details Kaji gleamed from the Seele mole in the UN was that Unit-01 and its pilot were the only aspects of Nerv to be spared. But couldn't tell Shinji that or he'd panic and make things complicated. "Yeah, couldn't help but see that little arm stroke she did, and I'm pretty sure she was blushing when she left. So what matters are you talking about?" Kaji pulled out his lighter and tossed it to Ritsuko.

"N-nothing of any real importance," Shinji tried to draw in on himself but his smile was too big to fake. "We've been wanting to play our instruments again…and the night after the incident she was there for me. Not my proudest moment…wanting to cry but not able to. She, I think I confused her a little, and we…" he sagely shut up and his voice died out. It was pretty evident by his body language that something happened between them, something physical, but it wasn't too big an event.

Standing at the elevator that would take the little family to the car garage, Kaworu stood smiling and humming some Beethoven. "Ah, Shinji-kun, I wanted to see you off. I apologize we won't be able to chat tonight, it seems I'll be here quite late thanks to Akagi-san," Kaworu smiled thinly at the faux blond. Walking closer to Kaji rather than Ritsuko, the teen stopped and bore his ruby red eyes deeply on Kaji, "A indignity we have to follow our orders to such degree, but without order we'd have chaos. Maybe tomorrow?"

Pushing Shinji further down the hall towards the elevator, Ritsuko felt that bitter pill of coldness in her chest. This thing knew what was going on, knew what Kaji and she were doing and was testing them. "I apologize Nagisa-kun, but being so new to staff we have regulations to follow. You weren't given to us with proper documentation, so we have to fix that. As for order, I'd rather have freewill than blindly follow what I'm told," she eyed Kaji ready to act at a moment's notice.

But it wasn't necessary, Kaworu's eyes just softened as his lips pealed back showing a toothy grin. "Couldn't agree more with you Akagi-san, freewill is a wonderful thing. Nearly as much as lilim's capacity for love, understanding, and music," he stuffed his hands into his pocket and nodded at the trio as they all got into the elevator. He was still watching them as the door closed, that smile never changing an iota.

"Where did you first meet him, Shinji-kun? That kid is an odd one if you ask me," Kaji held the close door button and hit his floor. Tapping his shoe on harder, Kaji did everything he could to not sound accusing, and it worked it seemed. Lighting his smoke off of Ritsuko's, Kaji took a deep drag, "But I guess growing up in a UN base on his own would do that. If I were you though, Shinji-kun, I'd spend tomorrow with the fair lady. You been spending a lot more time with him than her." He exchanged a look with Ritsuko over Shinji's head.

Making their way to the car, Shinji told the two adults of meeting nearly a week ago. It had been at the new lake Unit-00's detonation created. With Rei being held on base by order of the Commander, Asuka had embarked on her journey of solitude, left Shinji alone and depressed. Kaworu had approached him while he skipped rocks across the water. And they just talked, Kaworu listened to his troubles, his uncertainty, and never complained. The following day Kaworu had been waiting for him outside the changing room and they continued to get to know one another and their friendship progressed from there.

Now 'safely' in Kaji's broken down and barely running car, Ritsuko's mind was screaming at her. Kaworu was exploiting Shinji's emotional state, and that would only make the bastard's disposal hurt all the more. A pinch in her chest was all she felt after Shinji finished his rather charming tale. "Sounds like he's just a little strange like Ayanami is, bare that in mind. Oh and before you head out with Rei on your date tomorrow," she saw him smile sheepishly in the rearview, "Maya wants to have a talk with you. I said you'd be home. She was very forceful in getting me to tell you this."

Shinji nodded but said nothing, the smile fading but not disappearing as they drove. Lost in his own world, Shinji just gazed out the window at the dilapidated buildings and cityscape. Only a handful of shops remained opened, stubborn or bribed to stay for the few forced to live in the city. His mind a closed book, Shinji offered no further details leaving Ritsuko and Kaji to fill the air with talk of work, their plans for the night, and other things. Finally though, as Kaji pulled into his parking spot Shinji ventured a sullen, "Has any news about Asuka been found? Have they tried Katsuragi-san's apartment?"

"No, Shinji-kun, nothing on her. She'll be found, and I bet it was the first place they looked," Ritsuko lied as she got out of the car. Section-2 was paying only a weak head service to finding the useless Second Child. They had more important matters than finding the broken and unusable girl. "How about I cook tonight?" she offered the two men as they made their way to the apartment. Shinji said he wanted to, it helped keep his mind off things, so they let him. They ate in silence, Ritsuko and Kaji playing a little footsy under the table. When it came time for bed, Ritsuko found using her panties to muffle her moans helped and removed the need to kick Shinji out of the apartment.

X-X

Sanding at her door, Rei did something she rarely did spy on Shinji. With Akagi's word that she wasn't going to have to go into Nerv for the day, the girl felt her body an anxious bundle of energy. She'd be spending the day with Shinji, one of if not the sole joy in her quiet life. Other children were gone, school closed, and the oddity that was the Second child gone Rei had nothing but Shinji. Thoughts of the boy left her mind flustered and warm…and from her reading on the subject it was something she actually feared.

But right now she was watching ex lieutenant Ibuki talking to Shinji at his door. Rei had heard everything from Ritsuko already, how the woman quit her job after the incident. But what Rei didn't consider was that the woman would actually go to speak with Shinji before leaving. What reason did Maya have for coming, was she going to ruin the plan of a day with Shinji? Oh she hoped not, Rei had a lot to tell Shinji about a great many things. Gendo's plans for her were considered, but what would he think of her after hearing the truth? She was going to be the implement of humanities destruction if she went along with it. She wasn't human, a freak, if she told him that he'd abandon her. But to lie would be worse.

"Shinji-kun," Maya's voice was heard softly through the apartment door, "I wanted…to say goodbye to you. I know you don't blame me, nobody does, but I just can't go back there. Back to any place that would just have me d-do that to somebody so young." Maya could he heard sniffling and shuffling about. "I-I wanted to tell you too that…if you want I'll wait for you. When this mess is over, if you can still, if you want…maybe we can pick up where we left off?" she added just the right emphasis on 'pick up'.

Watching from the spyhole in the door, Rei held her breath as Maya leaned in and embraced Shinji. Her hand clenched tightly as she was sure Maya kissed the boy at the door before pulling back and holding his hand. Could she do that with Shinji, Rei wondered. They had done so, it felt wonderful yet scary. Yet as time passed the fearful component dwindled. The night after the last angel things went even further, leaving Rei light headed and for the first time she could remember actually craving contact. They slept in the same bed, she being held in his arms after a few clumsy on her part acts of petting. Light touches and simple caresses, Shinji never made her feel bad like he did.

For the next ten minutes Rei heard but didn't register Shinji and Maya talking about banal things. Shinji again stated he didn't fault Maya for the accident, but understood why she was leaving. Maya told him about the friend from college, a woman, she was going to be staying with and maybe working with. The details about Asuka's leaving was quickly brought up and put down. Both Shinji and Maya wanted to avoid that topic. While they spoke, Rei watched and worried. Such emotions were new and terrifying to her. Wanting, longing, loneliness were things she had so little exposure to that they were practically alien.

"I thought he would be with Soryu, but after…" Rei spun around and leaned against the door. She could hear the two saying goodbye for the last time for the day, and that made her heart skip a beat. He was going to come to her, to visit her…that made her special to him just as he was to her. If only she was better versed in these confound emotions maybe things wouldn't be so hard for her! Acceptable, not acceptable, to fast, or too slow her mind whirled to fast and hard. But knowing of Asuka's infidelity and departure, it opened doors to Rei she had thought were permanently closed. She had seen Shinji crumple and cry after confirming what she had walked in on between Touji and Asuka.

Five minutes after Maya left, a light knock on Ayanami's door signaled Shinji's arrival. "Rei-c-chan I'm here, are you up?" Shinji asked with his standard uncertainty with her surname. In private he was a little more open about his emotions regarding her. Silence greeted his first knock as Rei was rendered paralyzed with uncertainty. Another knock and call, "Rei-chan I'm coming in so if you're nor presentable please-please say something." The sound of the keycard going through the reader and the soft beep and whir of unlocking filled the room.

A sense of vertigo washed over Rei as the door she was propped against pushed open sending her tumbling forward. She stumbled as her balance was shifted, but several steps forward she got herself corrected. "Shinji-kun, I apologize for spying on your conversation with Ibuki. I lost track of time as I contemplated what to do today," her cheeks were pink with embarrassment. She spun around to see that sad yet heartfelt smile on his face. "So Ibuki is moving to Tokyo-2 then?" Rei tried to hide her shame. To get so distracted with her own inner doubts that she didn't hear him, that was poor form.

Closing the door behind him, Shinji let out a sigh of relief upon finding Rei fully clothed and just a little distracted. Since Rei never took her shoes off, Shinji opted to do the same. "Yeah, she's going to move in with an old classmate of hers from college. She's going to try and get a job with the woman too. I'm…I'm glad things didn't get to complicated between us before now. Would be painful if she…if we…you know," Shinji shrugged a little. Slapping his hands together to cover the uncomfortable silence, "So what would you like to do today?"

She knew one thing Shinji wanted to do, and Rei would offer it out of her affection for him. "You desire to check Katsuragi's apartment for the absent Soryu. As we became closer I to wish to know of her current status," Rei approached Shinji. Linking her arms with his, shyly looking down at the ground she hoped he didn't rebuff her small attempt at closeness. They never really spoke about it, what their relationship was, but both acknowledged it wasn't simple friendship. Opening the door she pulled the lad through it, "Afterward I am pleased to do anything you wish. It has felt ages since we have spent time with one another alone."

Patting the hand that was linked to his with his free hand, Shinji's appreciation could be felt through his touch. "You sure you don't mind, Rei-chan? I know things between her and me are strained. More so since what Touji said and you…saw," Shinji shuddered a little. Opening the door to the stairwell, the two walked as much as possible, Shinji pulled her closer to him. "So I know we're likely officially over, but I still care about her. Not knowing where she is, especially after the last angel, leaves me worried," he offered Rei an apologetic look.

Crime was running rampant, news stories of muggings, rapes, and worse were on the rise, which left Rei feeling the same. Stepping out into the morning light, Rei thought maybe she saw Maya's car leaving, she shielded her eyes with her free hand. "Your concern and feelings on the matter are matched, but likely not their intensity. I know you care for her," but did he care even a fraction of that for her? Could she just ask him, was that acceptable? Remembering Ritsuko's drunken ramble from months ago, Rei wanted to just tell him. Hell everything from Ritsuko spoke to Rei about just doing what she wanted. But without telling him the truth it'd be a more hurtful in the end. Today…after they saw to the Katsuragi apartment she'd tell him, maybe even at the apartment.

"So have you spoken to Kaworu-kun much? I know things on base are odd, with my father demanding your time so lately. He's not…things are alright between you two right?" Shinji's voice became gruff. His body bristled and his eyes hardened in a protective fierce glow. They stopped as a random car sped across the road without stopping at the light. Rules of the road weren't adhered to much when the roads were mostly empty. When Rei just shook her head softly to the negative, "Good. I'd hate to have to hurt him, but I would. If you ever need me for anything Rei-chan just ask. I'll always be there for you."

Again her heart warmed so much that if it wasn't comfortable she'd be frightened. It was soothing and wonderful, so she hugged his arm tighter. "I have only had one altercation with Nagisa-kun," Rei didn't like that boy. The only thing Kaworu said to Rei was that they were the same. Hearing from the commander about her nature, created in a lab with angelic DNA, Rei did not want anything of that nature aside herself interacting with Shinji. She would never voluntarily hurt him, Kaworu she couldn't know for sure. If the boy tried though, Rei would protect Shinji as he said he would her.

Approaching the Katsuragi apartment, thankfully devoid of damage but depopulated, Shinji laughed a little. "I guess you wouldn't go out of your way to talk to him. He had to approach me or I would have kept my distance too. After the last two friends I made…left…I'm a little leery of making more," somberness pervaded the boy. Interlacing his fingers with Rei's, the two just basked in the solace the other gave them. As Shinji pried the door open, garbage piled up to block it, he put in the additional, "But he's a good guy. Listens to me ramble on, a lot like Ritsuko used to before Kaji moved back in."

Stepping over either a dead animal or rotten takeout food, Rei heard something in Shinji's voice that was a little stunning. "You are upset that Ryoji has restarted his relationship with Akagi?" she accepted Shinji's help in stepping over more refuse. Since Ritsuko had taken over for Kozo, Rei found herself like Shinji in growing fond of the unfortunate woman. Nights watching odd movies, eating new and delicious foods, and drinking intoxicant, were odd but Rei held those memories like priceless gems. "Do you have feelings for her as you do…" Rei didn't know who she wanted to say.

Spying through several of the open doors as they headed through the apartment, Shinji failed to reclaim Rei's arm after helping her over the blockage. "I won't deny I care for her, but it's hard to describe. She's a lot like me I guess. After Kaji-san betrayed her she was so broken and beat down, like I knew I'd be when Asuka did the same to me. I feel like she cares for me and worries, it's just so confusing. I'm glad Kaji is back too, he's more a father to me than my actual one, no offense," Shinji cringed away from Rei after the small slight against the commander.

Watching Shinji's hand hover empty, Rei understood Shinji more than he knew. "Your comment about the commander's parental qualities is not without merit," he was not a parent at all. He was a cold and affluent man, who had planned and plotted the end of humanity for a single selfish goal. Rei owed the man her life, but she would not allow him to take others. "As for your thoughts of Akagi, I sympathize with that. She has been…kind to me since she took over my personal testing," she confessed. But it was Shinji that Rei felt the sense of familiarity. Both were alone and craving affection, but were afraid to reach out for it. But Shinji had Asuka to take the initiative, Rei had only her fear laden self.

At that, well Shinji did grin at her and take her hand. "Yeah you would understand wouldn't you," Shinji gave her a squeeze. The conversation lulled into Shinji talking about what she'd like to eat and play when they got back to her apartment. More doors were open, empty and rushed evacuees that packed up and ran in the night had the two quicken their pace. Getting to Asuka's old apartment though, the door was closed firmly. "It's locked, they never tried here!?" Shinji raged as he yanked out his wallet and pulled out Asuka's keycard.

Rei's pulse quickened as Shinji frantically worked on the door. Was Asuka actually here? The odd girl that forced herself into Rei's life and made her life strange could be beyond this door. Rei would never consider Asuka her best friend, but she did care about her wellbeing and wanted her safe. The door opened in a slam as Shinji strode in, Rei watched his body dash in leaving her behind to watch. Did she feel abandoned? No. Only herself control had prevented her from doing the same.

"Asuka! Asuka are you in here?" Shinji called out as he rushed about the dirty apartment. The fine furnishings were in tatters, garbage from food containers littered the ground, and a stench they both recognized permeated the air. It was the same when Rei was first taken off the active pilot roster, the small of human waste and neglect. "Asuka…oh god Asuka! What have you done to yourself?" Shinji's voice screamed out from deep in the apartment, an amalgamation of pain/fear/sorrow.

Whatever force that kept Rei from panicking was thawed upon hearing Shinji's cry. Her body was chilled, ice water flowed through her veins having only heard Shinji speak that way once before. When he saved her from herself, Rei remembered Shinji's voice more than she recalled the bath and soothing motions he took. That horrified and nightmare fueled voice, Rei feared what she'd see when she found Shinji. When she finally saw Shinji, he was in the bathroom cradling Asuka in his arms and with a towel wrapped around her wrist.

Weakly the German reaching up with her incredibly pale arm and smeared blood on Shinji's face incidentally. "S-Shinji…I didn't want you to see me like this…l-let me just die," the nude German forced out with quickly weakening breath. "S-sorry…so-sorry, Shinji…I l-love you…idiot…but I'm not…worthy anymore," she wrapped her arms around the sobbing Ikari. Asuka's pale blue eyes were so devoid of life and light it was almost as if she was already gone. "Just couldn't…keep going on…everything…I lost everythi…" her eyes closed and her head fell forward.

"Rei-chan, call Nerv now! We…we can save her," Shinji ordered as he lanced Rei fierce glare. Pulling the woman out of the tub, her body dirty and caked with days of dirt and refuse, Shinji's arms bulged as he clamped down on the wrist to staunch the flow of blood. "Oh god, Asuka, what did you do to yourself. Rei-chan please I can't leave her like this," Shinji pleaded to the still stunned Rei.

Asuka wasn't supposed to do that, the girl was supposed to get better! Rei fumbled out her phone and nearly dropped it. After several failed attempts at calling, the girl finally got through and told Hyuga of the situation and there location. After, phone dropped like a paper cup, Rei saw to helping Shinji out with the girl she thought too strong to succumb to this. Ideas of dating, telling Shinji her secret, everything went out the window while they replaced towel after towel to keep the girl alive. When the paramedics arrived, Asuka was still breathing slow and shallow, they saved her.

Their little date ruined, Rei and Shinji went back to her apartment to wait for word which came three hours later. Asuka was alive, but comatose and non-responsive. She was to be kept in the same room as Misato for now. Both teens felt relieved, had Rei not did what she did in letting Shinji have his selfless request Asuka would be gone. They both saved her life. As long as the girl was alive there was hope for recovery. So overjoyed with the news Shinji kissed Rei full on the mouth…then again…they she initiated things. They woke up the next morning together having crossed a border Rei thought impossible. It had been incredible, unexpected, joyous, and while she felt a little ashamed at what spurred it, Rei knew she was in love and the healing progressed exponentially.

X-X

When the alarm rang, Kaji was already awake and watching it slowly tick forward. He felt the swell of Ritsuko's breast in his hand as they spooned on their futon. She shuffled as he unconsciously gave her a squeeze, moaned sultrily, but remained asleep. Guess the previous night took more out of her than it did him, a rare change since she'd been insatiable since he moved back in. As much as he wanted to just bask in the softness of the mattress, and the warmth both physically and emotionally Ritsuko offered Kaji had to move. His bladder had reached critical, but more to the fact he had to meet his UN contact.

Kissing Ritsuko's cheek, she smiled in her sleep making her beauty mark vanish, Kaji pulled the blanket off and basked in vision of his would-be wife in the fetal position. "Sleep well, babe, I'll see if I can't make the bad things go away," he smoothed her hair off her face and got out of bed. Covering her again, Kaji crawled out of the room and shut the door. "He up already?" Kaji heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Shinji, kid took another blow two days ago but thankfully it wasn't worse.

"Shinji-kun, is that you?" Kaji stumbled as the duo of felines raced past him chasing each other. Damn things still hated him to no end, but loved Shinji. There went his thought that the cats hated men. Finding the lad cooking a very large breakfast, as he had since Asuka's hospitalization, Kaji found a cup of coffee already waiting him. Chuckling as he sniffed the rich aroma, "You're spoiling us again Shinji-kun. And as much as I love your breakfast, cooking won't fix what is bothering you."

A box of eggs at his side, Shinji cracked two more into his skillet and continued cooking without turning. "I have to stay busy, Kaji-san. If I don't I start thinking that I'm partially to blame for what happened to her," Shinji worked his spatula in the pan. Deft fingers spun spices, diced vegetables, and made fanciful omelets. Tasting the sausage he had grilling in another pan, "Not intentionally, but my skill just set her off. Made her feel less and less, driving her away, and driving her to what she did."

After hearing the German as things started getting bad constantly state the same, Kaji could see where Shinji to that impression. Leaning over the boy's shoulder, sipping his coffee, he couldn't help but notice he was cooking Asuka's favorite breakfast yet had a vegetarian option set to the side. Spinning around to lean against the counter, Kaji wanted a good look at Shinji's face. "You can't blame yourself for what Asuka did, Shinji. You, all of you, were doing what we forced on you. Asuka just…she just hit a stroke of bad luck is all. And if it wasn't for you she wouldn't be here right now, right?" Kaji hated that haunted look in Shinji's face. The boy was too young to look so haggard.

Flipping the omelet over, Shinji put Kaji's on a plate and handed it to him. It was a spicier variety, just as Kaji preferred. "I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help but feel bad Kaji-san. And it wasn't just me that saved her. Rei-san knew I wanted to go, but wouldn't have went if she didn't offer. She's saved her just as much as I did," Shinji reached for two more eggs and stopped. Closing the carton, Shinji lowered the heat on Rei's omelet and took off his apron. "What is going to happen to her, Asuka? She-she'll get better right?" Shinji's desperation was so fluid it oozed out of him.

Taking not only his plate but Shinji's as well to the table, the spy sat down. This wasn't how he wanted the day to start, but Shinji deserved his full attention. The meeting with his contact wasn't until after twelve so it wasn't like he didn't have time. Pulling out Shinji's chair, "I'm not a medical doctor, but I know what I know. She's responding to stimuli, so her doctors say it's a mental thing. When she comes out of it, if, it will be on her terms." He didn't want to tell him more bad news, but Kaji was a realist. The doctors had been quite firm that Asuka could wake up in a minute, a year, or maybe never. "Until then, you should live your life how you want, Shinji-kun. Don't let this stall your life," he flinched at the seat.

Sitting down, picking at one of the two vegi options he made, Shinji's shoulders sagged. "That's what Ritsuko-san said last night before you got home," the life was just out of his voice. Picking and nibbling on the food, Shinji ate listlessly and without joy. "That's another problem…Kaji-san can I tell you something? I don't…I don't know how to feel about something I did. I mean I'm not upset I did, but I feel that…maybe it was…I don't know," Shinji looked up pleadingly.

At that moment, eyes locking on with Shinji's and seeing that silent begging, Kaji knew what it felt like to be a parent. He knew that for Shinji and for Ritsuko he'd give his life, this was his family now. Shinji was depending on him, as was Ritsuko, and he wanted to be there for them. This feeling was what was missing at Misato's. Savoring the rich blending of spices and meat, Kaji rolled his hand over, "Not going to tell me you've shacked up with Ibuki and got her pregnant are you?" That would have been hard to tell Makoto.

The chopsticks falling out of his hands and his eyes going wide and face flush was the most emotion Kaji saw in Shinji all day. "N-no-no-no! Maya-san and I never got further than a little…" Shinji quickly shook his head, he wasn't the kiss and tell type of guy. Recapturing his utensils, Shinji cast a quick glance at the stove to insure Rei's breakfast wasn't burning. It wasn't, so a small sheepishness overtook him, "I and uh…Rei-san…I was so overcome with joy when I first heard Asuka was going to live I-uh kissed her…then again, then she kissed me and…"

Ah a little emotion overload caused Shinji and Rei to tumble over that last hurdle into couple territory, Kaji had that happen more than once. "I'll ask you this, Shinji my boy, do you love that girl next door? From the day you moved in I thought you kept a soft eye on her, then the unpleasantness happened, and finally Asuka stole you. You likely feel it went to fast, and it probably did, but how do you actually feel about her. I remember you saying Asuka was pretty firm that it was over between you two, and you did go on a date with Maya," Kaji saw his coffee was half gone. The parallel though between Shinji and himself was pretty evident. Shinji thought he cheated on Asuka like he had cheated on Ritsuko. Only Ritsuko hadn't thrown him out and all but screamed at him to go to Misato.

Heading to the stove, Shinji took Rei's breakfast off and put it into a plastic container. "I…do. I've had feelings for her for a long time, just not as clear in mind as with Asuka. I was, am, afraid I'll push her into something she's not ready for, or make her feel pressured. We sort of click in a way that even Asuka and I didn't. But since my fa…the commander had been keeping her on base so much we really haven't spoken much since the following morning. I'm afraid of her, Kaji-san, afraid she's afraid of me for what we did. It was so…and it was the same day as Asuka…d-did I do wrong?" he closed the top and cradled it.

"I'll do the dishes this morning, Shinji-kun. Ayanami is at her place now right? Go and have a nice talk with her. Sort all this out," Kaji got out of his seat and headed for the sink with plate in hand. Gently shooing the bow away from the counter, container in hand, Kaji prayed Shinji was wrong about the young Ayanami's feelings. After Rei confessed to Gendo's plans, well Kaji was willing to overlook a few things with the girl. She was alright, and Rei did work well with Shinji he'd admit. Turning the water on, "As for your little tryst, Shinji, emotions happen and we can't be certain when they will. You didn't do anything wrong, if Ayanami didn't kick you out the next morning she thinks so too. Now get and let me get started here."

There it was, the small shine returned to Shinji's face as he stood uncertainly with the girl's breakfast in hand. "I-uh…I'm still not sure, but you're right. If I don't talk to her I won't know what to think. And when Asuka wakes…I'll have to tell her what happened. If we are done, maybe she'll grant us her blessing," he didn't sound convinced but it got him moving. With a nod to whatever internal logic he had, Shinji left the double agent to a sink of dirty dishes.

By the time Kaji finished the dishes, his shower, and getting ready for his day to 'officially' begin, Ritsuko made her way out of the bedroom to the table. Kaji found her eating the meal Shinji sat out for her, "Morning good-looking, sleep well?" Hugging her from behind, he kissed her cheek and nuzzled her with his beard stubble. It always elicited a giggle from her and today was no exception. "Shinji-kun is already off at Ayanami's. It was like you thought though, and he's beating himself up over it," Kaji hadn't suspected Ritsuko's theory about Shinji/Rei on the night of Asuka's accident was real.

Red juice from the chorizo sausage she loved so much, Ritsuko just hummed in a dead like daze. "Told you didn't I. Girl was waiting for an opening, and he's too sweet to leave a woman hanging," she sipped her coffee then pressed her head to the cup.

Fixing his tie, he was going to be late for his early meeting with Makoto which was his cover for the day, Kaji stalled. "Did you just call Shinji-kun sweet? Am I going to have to ask him if he took any liberties with you while I was away," he teased. While Maya had said a few odd things about Ritsuko's state of mind back then, he didn't think Ritsuko would ever do that. Feeling in his waistband for his derringer, his only line of defense for the day, he headed for the door.

Still half asleep, her face pressed against the soothing heat of the porcelain cup, Ritsuko shrugged. "He is sweet, different than you. And no, not that I didn't consider it at times but haven't done anything. Glad we didn't cause then all of us being together would be strange. But yeah, Shinji's got a spot in my heart," Ritsuko slowly laid her head on the table. A few moments later she was snoring again, her coffee cup pushed but not knocked over as she did.

"Well, now that will be a talk with Shinji later," Kaji was more than a little rattled at Ritsuko's sleep churned confession. Knowing the woman as he did, Kaji realized that when she was tired she wasn't human. A zombie was a much closer comparison to how she reacted to things, and that went to her talking. So maybe Ritsuko had been a little bit further down the pipe than he realized, but she admitted to only considering things, never actually doing them. Grabbing his car keys, Kaji left the apartment and paused at Rei's door. The sounds of soft conversation were heard, not bad or fighting he knew…good for him.

Checking his watch after five minutes of eavesdropping, still just pleasant conversation, Kaji reluctantly headed in for the day. The drive had been dangerous, with lawless driving being par the course these days, he had nearly got hit twice. The Geo-Front was looking as empty as ever, with only a skeletal staff running at any one time. People were fleeing, just up and running in the night, and Kaji couldn't blame them. The city was in tatters, horrible things happening all around them, and people wanting to enjoy life before the end. There was little hope for continued survival from those not in the know. Those like Kaji that did know more…the hope was even less.

Sadly the thought of a little preemptive strike was running through Kaji's mind. While Makoto went over the failure in repairing the defensive line, and moaning about how Ritsuko was a slave driver, Kaji plotted. It made him feel sick to his stomach, how easy he came to taking out children as a solution. But it was the quickest and more direct way. Take out Ayanami and Nagisa and then their wouldn't be a chance. Ayanami was Gendo's tool , while Nagisa seemed to be Seele's.

"So you going to get your stuff out of the apartment soon? You have moved back in with Akagi right?" Makoto said during the lull between topics. Spying up at the empty command deck, Makoto pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Man, I feel like I'm the only one without a girlfriend nowadays. Shigeru got back with his old lady, you're back with Akagi, and Ibuki ran off…not like I had a chance with her anyway," he collapsed in his chair head crooned back.

He hadn't left much at Makoto's, suits, a laptop, toiletries, but he guessed he could pick it up. "Yeah I'll get it tomorrow, I work the night shift then," he had tuned out much of what his friend said. Standing up and popping his back, Kaji was tired of looking at pointless things. The missile defense system was never effective even when it was working at one-hundred percent, even N2 mines just slowed the angel's down. And the last angel was a trim looking teenager anyway, Makoto was wasting his time. Not liking the bitter look on Makoto's face, "You're not upset with Shinji-kun over Ibuki are you? Look just because she like him doesn't make that his fault."

Spinning his chair around taking in the sight of the mostly vacant bridge, half the crew were gone. "No not mad at him, jealous I guess. When I was his age girls laughed at me or just ignored me I guess. Just upset that I threw out a chance at a good relationship for a girl who just wanted…god what am I doing with my life," Makoto groaned and sank heavier into his seat.

Checking his watch, Kaji felt his chest tighten, it was time for his little break. "Look, I have to hit the head real quick. Think I'll check on Katsuragi on my way back, then we can finish this alright?" he shuffled over towards the corridor without waiting for a reply. Pulling out his phone as he made his way to the junction box, Kaji depressed the button on the device in his pocket. It knocked out the surveillance devices that could potentially still working despite the broken down state of the facility. The lack of people did help with access to the secure phone line.

Crimping his wires and splicing his phone into the line, Kaji waited while the beeping and harsh noises connected him to his faceless contact in the UN. They knew he was compromised by now, he let out several coded messages, but that didn't mean who he was talking to wasn't in Gendo's pocket. This could be the end if it was, after the talk, a hidden signal, and bam he'd never walk out again. The gruff voice on the other side of the line was quick and to the point. In two to three weeks, regardless of any details Kaji could provide, they were coming in. Only thing holding off the effort was word from the Prime Minister. Once they said the word, Nerv would be razed, Unit-01 and its pilot the only things to be spared. Problem was they didn't have a picture of the pilot…so likely the pilot was expendable as well.

Kaji tried, tried his hardest to get more time, hell to get the attack called off since he could prevent anything. No good came of it, whoever Seele had in the UN they were pulling strings that couldn't be countered. No further communiqué would be taken from Kaji until after the even, he was told to avoid the base at all costs until clean-up was needed. Recall orders issued, get out before the hammer came down on him. He suspected it was a lie, that whoever he was talking to was just wanting to take him down himself. Well, at least they had the timeframe now…

Taking his gear down, Kaji looked at it and then just cleaned his prints off it and threw it away. No reason to keep it now was there? Walking his way to the infirmary, Kaji had one thing he could do, a last apology to Misato. Waving and smiling at the on-duty nurse, she blushed as expected, he walked into Misato and Asuka's room. No change in the beautiful woman, she did look as if she was sleeping. "Hey Katsuragi. Just wanting to say goodbye. Going to have you transferred to Tokyo-2 General, I won't be able to get Soryu due to her pilot status, but you I can," he took Misato's hand.

Kneeling down at Misato's side, he shuddered at the feelings inside him. He wronged this woman, almost as much as Ritsuko. "I, I'm sorry Misato. Sorry I wasn't the man you wanted me to be, for not loving you like you wanted. But, I love Ritsuko, I have ever since we started going out years ago. What we had…it was fun but it wasn't real. I'm going to marry her, Misato. If we live through the month that is. Going to adopt Shinji-kun to. I lost…we lost our actual child due to my stupidity, maybe we'll have another, maybe not. I'll try to keep Soryu safe for you too, so sleep easy, get better," he patted her hand. The beeping of the machine answered him, he kissed her forehead once, and hated the cold chill of her flesh. Heading out of the room, he paused to see the comatose Asuka, he filled out the forms to transfer Misato.

X-X

While he didn't mind being on base at times, Shinji was never one to enjoy sudden calls in. Sure there was a test schedule for later in the day, but it wasn't for several hours. But anything beat stewing in his own confusion while attempting his home-schooling. After his talk with Rei the morning before, he hadn't seen the albino or even heard from her. Wandering about Nerv, he could at least hope to run into Kaworu and chat with him. Something about that boy just made it impossible not to like him. The added benefit of being called in from the apartment was he could bring in Ritsuko's supper since Kaji didn't work till later.

With bento box in hand, the mildly depressed boy headed into the nearly empty galley and found his target. Ritsuko was sitting alone drinking out of her thermos, full of the tea he made for her, and reading over some reports. "Ritsuko-san, I have you lunch for you if you haven't eaten yet," he called out garnering looks from the few others in the room. With their eyes on him as he walked, he kept his head down and shuffled his feet. Handing the box over to her extended hands, "Not interrupting you are you? You never did say why you wanted me here."

"Not much to interrupt really," the doctor opened the box and sniffed its contents. Finding the included chopsticks, she snapped them apart and dug in. "Thanks for the food, I tend to forget. As for calling you in, well…I didn't want you in the apartment while Kaji shipped the cats off," her eyes gleamed a little with moisture. "You're going to be confined to the Geo-Front until things in the city get better, we all are. So I'm sending them off to be with my grandmother," Ritsuko popped a piece of broccoli in her mouth.

As much as it hurt to know the cats were going to be gone, Shinji would rather they be safe than at risk. "I guess it's for the best. The building was almost hit by when Touji," Shinji sat down at Ritsuko's table. He knew others were watching, they always did sneer and glare at the poor woman, but who cared what they thought. Ritsuko was happy with herself, and if those fools didn't realize how great a woman she was it was their loss. But the thought of Touji, it still hurt and was raw. He failed his friend, couldn't think of a way to save the unfortunate boy. "Any word on his sister?" he couldn't look up from the table.

Sipping the special tea she was given each day, Ritsuko drummed her fingers across the metallic canister. "She's being shipped off with the others we have on base with the exception of Soryu. With the chance of an attack, we need her near Unit-02 if for a last ditch effort," the woman sounded sincere. Almost as a side note she continued with, "Her father was transferred with her, so she'll not be alone."

There was at least one good thing then, at least the girl he crippled had company. The entire Suzuhara family was ruined by his actions, Shinji reasoned. "I never did meet her, I'll have to at some time to apologize to her," he felt like going for a walk. Keep his feet hammering down in the base until they hurt and was all he could think of. Don't think of comatose Asuka and Misato, don't care about how he failed Touji, and don't worry how Rei was gone. She said she had something to tell him, something important, but then the phone rang and she had to leave…that was the last time he saw her.

"You have nothing to apologize to her for, Shinji. What happened, both times, weren't your fault," Ritsuko reached out and grabbed hold of his wrist. She applied pressure, not much but enough keep his attention focused on her. Her tone grew harsh and firm, "Look at me Shinji, don't you look away." Pulling his arm across the table, the woman was deep into her inner self. Once he acquiesced to her demand, "What happened to Suzuhara was due to the angel. Given hours or even days we might not have found a way to save him. By the time the unit was detonated, his body was so corrupted by the angel it was too late. You did NOTHING wrong, Shinji."

He saw her like this before, and that was the only reason Shinji wasn't afraid of her. Had anybody else grab him like this, speak in such a tone, Shinji would have panicked and yanked himself free. Though with Ritsuko, Shinji knew it was just her way of showing affection. Ritsuko was odd like he was, which made this even easier for him. "I, I know I couldn't do anything. But it still hurts to have him…die like that right in front of me. I keep thinking I should have done something more," those eyes of hers looked so compassionate.

Releasing her harsh grip she let go but all but his fingertips. With a nod, Ritsuko ate with one hand, "It always hurts to lose friends. But lose is a part of life, Shinji-kun. You've been doing your best, more than most really. Don't let anybody say you haven't done your best." The intensity in her face softened to her normal stoic detachment. She finished the rest of her meal without speaking, holding Shinji's fingers or flipping pages in her report. "You're going to be sleeping in the barracks, room right next to Kaji and mine. So I hope you brought your school work to keep you occupied," she smirked at him.

At least he'd be by people he cared about, maybe he'd even get to see Rei and Kaworu more. "I guess I can find that after the testing. Are Kaji and you going to be alright in here though? You have…you two work so hard at the apartment," Shinji wasn't stupid. He saw them talking enough behind closed hands, hushed conversations, hidden passing of flash drives. They were doing something, they didn't tell him about it but he trusted them. Whatever they were doing, he'd support them before his father.

Jerking back from the lad, Ritsuko's shocked expression lasted all but a moment. "Tricky little man you are, Shinji-kun. Whatever your speculating keep it quiet alright? We'll let you know when we feel we can," she covered the bento box and slide it back over to Shinji. Sliding off the bench, fixing her lab coat, she gathered up her papers. "Now I have to go and keep the fires burning under Makoto or he won't be ready for Nagisa-kun and your test," she nodded and left the boy in thought.

Guiltily Shinji watched the swaying behind of the attractive woman leave the galley. "I'll keep quiet," it wasn't like he knew anything. Half heard statements were one thing, but nothing concrete. All he knew was Nerv wasn't JUST working to stop the angels, Rei was part of it, and things were quickly escalating. Why else would he be moved into the base, a new pilot show up, and Rei be forced to see his father so much. "I just hope he doesn't do anything…she trusts him so much," if his father hurt her though, well Shinji owed that man nothing.

Carrying the box to a bathroom, Shinji cleaned out the leftover food into a sink. It helped to keep those hands moving, being on base he'd have even less to do. Couldn't cook, clean, or escape while on the base. All that left him to do was school work he didn't care about, and worry about things. Would Asuka forgive him, did it even matter if she did? Despite what Kaji said, Shinji felt he betrayed Asuka. The day she nearly killed herself he made love to Rei, and it was making love. He…he loved two women, well three if he included Ritsuko but that was just something different.

How could she forgive him for that, but he had just been so elated to hear she was alive that he needed an outlet! Didn't help that the outlet was an achingly beautiful woman that he had feelings for, had feelings for him, and his spirit was near breaking. It hurt to hear she slept with Touji, even more to know Rei had actually saw it, but that didn't justify him doing the same. Only with Touji, his deathbed cry was that it was just the act no feelings, but Shinji had feelings for Rei! Circles, his logic kept running in circles!

He loved Asuka, Asuka told him they were breaking it off. Shinji held out hope they'd get together after she recovered her score. Asuka moved on or did something in desperation. That left him bitter and mournful, more so that he couldn't even yell at the other man. Asuka ran off leaving him even more upset. Rei and he find her and she says she loves him but wants to die! She's saved but comatose with no knowing when/if she'd wake. Rei and he admit their feelings…but Asuka is still alive and they had no concrete closure! Was it all just mixed up emotions, or was it something more! Rei thought it was, she had said she cared that next morning, he concurred. But was it real or just…it felt real…felt like how he felt with Asuka only different.

"Shinji-kun, you going to just sit there or are you going to change," Kaworu said with a slight chuckle. The other male pilot was already striped down to his skin and holding his plug suit. Pressing the back of hand to Shinji's cheek, "No, you don't feel hot. Come on, Shinji-kun, not good to keep Akagi-san waiting for us." He started humming as he reached for Shinji's shirt and started taking it off.

Blushing and yanking away from the male who was doing what Asuka and Rei had done in more intimate situations. "Sorry! S-sorry Kaworu-kun, just thinking is all, didn't mean to space out," he hadn't even realized he was in the changing room. His thoughts just kept going in circles, like the trains he would ride when he wanted to be distracted. Changing quickly, shying away from his male friend when he got out of his boxers. Like Rei, Kaworu had some social issues that could be seen as either odd or quaint based upon the person viewing it. Pressurizing his suit, "Didn't keep you long I hope? Hey, you live on base, anything you can tell me about it? I'm moved in as of today."

Standing closer to the boy than guys normally did, Kaworu shrugged with his noncommittal smile. "I walk around and listen to music when I'm not talking with you. The other people here don't seem to like me or are too busy," he didn't seem upset by it. "But you'll likely be spending your time with Ayanami-san if you're here. She has been spending most of her time here correct? She is an interesting woman," Kaworu lead the way to the testing chamber.

Yes, whatever Kaworu was it was either the same as or similar to Rei, Shinji could tell. He wasn't oblivious to the world around him, Shinji just didn't find the need to comment on it. Things were best left inside, letting things in could only hurt. It hurt that Asuka and Maya were gone…Touji dead…Rei taken…everything was a small dull throb. "Rei-san has been working with the commander a lot lately. I haven't seen much of her lately," he confessed and climbed into his test chamber.

"Then you and I can spend our time…" Kaworu's drew downcast, "what time we have left anyway, together." Opting to stay focused on the test, Kaworu hardly if ever spoke during testing, didn't say anything. Ritsuko wasn't running this test, wasn't even present, as Makoto was doing his first solo run. The geeky man said the commander needed Ritsuko for something, another thing the commander was taking from Shinji. Once the take was drained, Kaworu dripping with LCL offered simply, "Take a bath with me?"

Odd request for a man to ask, but Shinji found it fitting with Kaworu's more open attitude. "No reason not to. Normally I take showers since the baths were so full, doubting they'd be that way today," he hid his laughter behind his hand. Since Kaworu's locker was on the other side of the room, Shinji was quick to disrobe and wrap a towel around his waist. "Hope he does the same," though Shinji half doubted the odd boy would. Finding his only present friend thankfully donning a towel as he was, Shinji made his way into the large communal bath.

Sitting in the water, the heavy white towel billowing out but thankfully hiding any shame, Kaworu let out a sigh. "Baths are strange things. Enjoyable too though," he let his hand fall atop Shinji's but didn't think to move it. "Why don't you tell me what had you staring at the locker for so long?" he reclined his head back and gazed lazily at Shinji with one eye.

Quite despite himself, Shinji didn't want his relationship issues to be too well known, he spilled his heart out to the new boy. His fears of hurting Asuka and Rei, the worry of perceived betrayal, his pain at failing those he cared for…he told it all. It felt good to just vent. With Kaji and Ritsuko, Shinji always kept a little back a little hidden. But with Kaworu he poured his soul out, never once freeing his hand of Kaworu's imprisonment. It was eccentric, holding a boy's hand, but so was Kaworu.

Standing up abruptly, the water cascaded down his trim body, Kaworu offered to help Shinji up. "They both care about you, you care for them, why not care for both of them? As for your friend, you tried your best," Kaworu pulled Shinji's hand up and held his towel in the other. "You're such a fragile creature Shinji-kun. All these hardships, all these trials, and yet you cling to fears of hurting others and of being hurt by them," he stepped out of the tub and headed for the dry towels.

"You make it sound so much more elegant than it is. I'm just a coward is all. Afraid of pain, of abandonment," Shinji felt strange hearing Kaworu's comments. He wasn't doing anything great, he was just acting. Softly he couldn't stay his voice, "You seem stronger than I am."

The moisture in the room made Kaworu's laugh rich and echo. "I like you Shinji-kun, I like you a lot. Of all those I've met, you're one of the most unique," he glanced over his shoulder and headed into the locker room.

Left rattled at the overly affectionate words, Shinji stayed in the bath a little longer to give Kaworu time to finish and had out. Was he unique? Maybe, maybe not. But Kaworu made Shinji think, think that his actions weren't just random. What happened between Rei and him was a good thing, and when Asuka woke he'd tell her about it. Maybe she'd forgive and forget, maybe she'd ask him to leave Rei for her, or maybe she'd be angry. Just like Kaji had told him in the past, he couldn't please everybody. What mattered was doing what he thought was right. And right now, being with Rei if he could was. When he got into the locker room, Kaworu was gone. "Maybe I'll hunt him down after I finish my homework," but Shinji never found Kaworu when he went looking. The next time he did see the boy, it would be as enemies.

X-X

Walking up on his couch, the DVD he had been watching repeated its menu music, Makoto scratched as his sparse chest hair. Reaching blindly for his glasses, those loath coke bottles, he popped them on and sat up. The lovely ladies of his mail order video gazed wantonly at him filling the sad man with a spike of bitterness. Another glorious night as a bachelor with three cans of beer, an adult video, and an instant dinner boy did he know how to live. At least with Kaji taking his few possessions the day before it left Makoto without need to conceal his nocturnal actives.

Turning off the television, the player remained on, Makoto rolled off his couch and crawled to his bedroom on hands and knees. God he hated mornings, his body was just so weak and sluggish. The nightly drinking didn't help much he waged he had gained a few pounds. Who did he have to be trim for though, all the women in town were taken or not to his liking. Once he felt the carpet change, his bedroom had a nicer floor, he forced his tired body up and set about getting his clothing. Being a night showerer, he didn't need to hit the bathroom. Nope, he just found a pair of underwear his normal work attire and was ready for a quick breakfast.

"I wish the cleaning services were still open," he whined as he smoothed his hair back. The mirror in his bedroom showed a beaten and lonely man trying his best. Pressing his forehead against that cold and familiar face, "I miss Aoi even if she didn't really care. I miss Maya even if I ruined things with her." He missed standard human interaction outside of a work environment. When times had been better, his life had been quite grand. Card games, suppers with friends, and feeling part of something greater than himself.

Buttoning up his top, Makoto headed to his small dirty kitchen for whatever food he had left to eat. "Maybe I'll move into the base like Kaji. They'd at least have MRE's to eat," he choked down some hard bread, stale coffee, and re-microwaved supper. After his meager breakfast sat heavily in his stomach, Makoto just sat there. He could go watch the morning news for the twenty minutes before he had to leave, or he could just sit. So sat he did, why add more depression on himself. News would either be more doom and gloom for Tokyo-3 or show how bright and vibrant everyplace else was.

"But I won't leave, I'm not a coward and they need me," he clenched his fist so hard his knuckles popped. That was one of the few things about Maya that enraged the man, her running. She hadn't been the only one responsible for the unfortunate accident, but she took the cowards escape leaving more work for everybody else. Then again, he had to admit, he hadn't pushed the button that caused that dreadful light. "Maybe after all this is over I'll look her up or she'll come back. Doubt Ikari-kun waits for her," kid had his pick of the litter.

Makoto's wrist watch beeped, time to get moving, and his pity party went on the road. He knew he had nothing but himself to blame for his loneliness, but that didn't stop his want for company. A day didn't go by where he didn't think he had been blind with Aoi, the woman that never once tried to contact him. No, why should she? He was just the man that sold out his comrades for a little piece of action and a fake relationship. "Not the best thing to be remembered for," he shut his door and headed to the train that serviced the Nerv personnel.

"You're looking chipper this morning," Shigeru waved at Makoto as the man boarded the train car. Unlike Makoto, Shigeru did seem wide eyed and bushy tailed as he read his paper. Scooting further down a seat, there were enough for everybody to sit now, he gestured for Makoto to sit. "Still mooning for the lack of home cleaning services? I told you, you should learn to clean after yourself and not rely on those places," he folded and set his paper on his lap.

With nobody else to talk to, he had no other close friends, Makoto took up the offer. Sitting down, "Yeah I know. The place isn't that bad. I throw out the food trash, just feels dirty." He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Stomach rumbling, he just rolled his eyes, "Not having easy access to grocery stores and convenience stores is killing me too." The local places that used to be so easy to just walk to were no more, closed up shop thanks to intermittent power.

Nodding to the shared pain, Shigeru strummed in the air playing an unknown tune. "Don't know where she's getting it, but my old lady has been keeping us good on food. I'd move in the base if they'd let her move in though. Worried about her walking around alone," Shigeru's tone quivered slightly. Stopping his imaginary guitar solo, he reclined in his seat and stretched his arms out. "So is it true Kaji moved out of your place? Was hoping we could have a card night or something. But if he's back with Akagi…she creeps me out lately, she's changed," he eyed the few other people down at the other side of the car.

Watching the scenery blaze past, hardly any stops now with the stations being consolidated, Makoto groaned. They were almost there, and that would mean more strange and odd work. "Yeah she never did get back to how she was before Kaji cheated on her. Just be thankful you don't have to work alongside of her," he confessed. Seeing those odd moments of detachment, her shifts in emotions, and other worrying signs from Ritsuko did not leave Makoto wanting to see her.

"Well you never got back to yourself after you betrayed us. So that type of talk should be avoided," Shigeru warned. Their friendship was tenuous, based more on need and lack of options than anything else. The harsh warning left his tone though as he stood up and said, "Now tell me about that new pilot? What was his name? He playing for the other team?"

Grateful that Shigeru had chosen to forgive him, at least partially, for the Aoi-incident Makoto was more than willing to let it go. Glad to have something to distract as they disembarked, "Kaworu Nagisa, I don't know. At times he seems neutered like Ayanami seems to be. But at others he does get awfully close to Ikari-kun. Maybe they're all one big love-in?" He doubted it, but something was odd about Nagisa. The kid was just creepy though, like Ayanami. Pale, red eyed, and peculiar in nearly any social eye.

Opting to talk about more fanciful and happy things, Shigeru went into a long description of a movie he had watched with his girlfriend the night before. It had been a comedy, one Makoto had seen once before and vaguely remembered. They waved at the few guards they passed and the techs. Unlike the guards one third of the techs had been voluntarily let go, no need for all of them without Unit-00. Taking his desk, Shigeru gave the command box a look finding it populated. "Didn't expect the commander here today. He's been gone last few weeks," he found his seat and sat down.

Openly looking up at the man, Makoto locked eyes with him he suspected. The man's head swiveled towards him, but with the sunglasses it was unsure if he acknowledged Makoto. He considered waving, but decided against it. "Maybe he knows something we don't," Makoto did wave at Ritsuko who paced the room. "Akagi-san, where is Kaji today?" normally the suave man was on deck if she was. Ritsuko, Makoto noted, reverted to old practices of not leaving the lab without Kaji or Ikari.

"He's checking out some defense installations in person today," Ritsuko stopped her pacing for her answer. Something about her body language screamed out that she was insincere. Adjusting her direction she headed to the two new additions, "You have Nagisa-kun's reports ready for us to see?"

Right to business as normal, woman didn't know how to have fun did she? What Kaji saw in her, Makoto would never know, "I set it up to finish over the night. Should be good about now." He called up the files and the reports about the newest Child's skills. Reading the outcome though, something struck Makoto as odd, "This is strange. Whenever we increased the difficulty he increased his ratio perfectly along with it. Almost as if he could set his rating at whatever he wants." But nobody could do that, not even Soryu in her prime! "What does it mean?" he spun to see Ritsuko's beautiful yet marred with fret face.

Her lips drew into a thin white strip on her face as Ritsuko considered. "I have a theory, call him in," Ritsuko's arms fell limp at her side. Standing up, her arms swaying, she gazed up at the ceiling lights and a low guttural sigh left her. "And get Shinji-kun into Unit-01 for a test," she almost spat that out, something played heavily on her mind.

Knowing Shinji's number more readily than Kaworu's, Makoto made that call first. It had been brief and professional, Makoto didn't hate Shinji but he didn't like the boy either. Rather than make things queer, he just did his business, no reason to bring up Maya and what the two did together. When he called Kaworu though, "I'm not getting through, he's not answering."

It was that moment that Shigeru's station light up in alarms and the sirens started blaring all around them. The man's voice was shrill and reached a level likely not hit since puberty, "Pattern blue detected! It's inside the base!" His actions were a flurry of controlled chaos and panic, "It's stronger than we've ever recorded before!"

"Get Pilot Ayanami to Unit-02 and get her ready," Ritsuko glared up at Gendo daring the man to counter her. When no such event transpired, Ritsuko shook Makoto's shoulder angrily. "What are you waiting for? Get Ayanami moving and let Shinji up to date on the situation," Ritsuko shoved Makoto towards his station.

Why hadn't Akagi mentioned Nagisa though? He was the pilot of Unit-02 not Ayanami, so why did Akagi simply ignore him? Dialing up the number as Shigeru's frantic details continued to get more tech's into a state of panic. Ayanami's number though rang and rang, another no go. Kids were ordered to keep those damn cellphones on them at all times, how could the Commander's golden child make this mistake! "Akagi-san, she's not answering…neither is Nagisa," he tried the Fifth Child after the First failed.

Pushing Makoto away from his station, Ritsuko grabbed the headset off his head and put it on. Shinji's face, dark circles under his eyes and haggard, appeared on screen before them all. "Shinji-kun this isn't a drill. You need to be ready," Ritsuko said almost apologetically.

"Unit-02 has activated without a plug inside! The path to terminal dogma has opened? How is that even possible?" Shigeru stood up so fast his chair fell not that anybody noticed. Grabbing at Akagi, Shigeru pulled her over to some of the few working monitors and pointed at Unit-02 and the figure floating before it. Makoto could scarcely see it from his angle but Shigeru confirmed his thought by saying, "Tell me that isn't the Fifth child? Please tell me that thing is some joke?"

The commander's voice bellowed out cutting off the chatter of the fearful. "Pilot Nagisa is to be designated the Seventeenth Angel. Orders are to terminate," he sat down after his decree was given.

The Fifth child was an angel and was sent right to them?! Makoto felt the overwhelming need to urinate but held it. "My god, what is happening here…what?" Makoto watched and listened in terror. He heard the frantic pleas of the Third Child begging the Fifth to stop, to admit to an elaborate joke. Then God's Door opened, something he didn't even know what was behind only that if it opened he was to put his head between his knees and get ready for the afterlife.

"Get me radio contact! Shinji-kun! Shinji-kun tell me what's happening?" Ritsuko called out with such emotion people stopped to look at her. She never sounded that way, not in public they wagered. "What is the status of Unit-02? And where is Ayanami!" Ritsuko ordered everybody but nobody was moving. They just listened to the static over the radio and waited…waited for the end.

Makoto saw that Unit-02 had been put down, but not before doing some savage damage to Unit-01. Shinji kept on chugging though, Makoto preyed the boy held out and kept going. "I'll never look down on him again for anything…just don't fail," he rubbed his hands together.

Static over the radio, nobody knew what was happening, but they imagined some impressive battle. Ritsuko, Makoto noticed, never stopped trying to gauge what was happening to contact the vanished pilot. Readings of the strongest AT-Field ever recorded spiked their readings only to be countered by yet another…another page in the legend of the Illustrious Third Child…who else could be making it.

The static was finally broken by an ear splintering and heart rending shriek finally filling the still air. It was the Third Child, and he was sobbing bitterly saying again and again, "I killed him."

When Unit-01 was brought up, Makoto couldn't help but see the blood stained hand. Good kid, he saved the day again. They'd worry about the why and how's of the UN sending an angel to them, and where pilot Ayanami went later. Today was a day for celebrating, Makoto was going to buy that kid something to drink. To honor his victory. As the battle had to have been hard and painful to bring about such an anguished bellow and outcome, but Shinji was successful and Makoto was ever so happy.

X-X

Author notes

And just like in the anime Kaworu shows up and goes away leaving nothing but sadness and pain. As for the Asuka bit…another bit that was taking (with liberties) from the actual anime. Asuka was found by Section two naked in an abandoned bathtub with red stains in it…at least this time she had more reason to. Hope you don't mind the darker parts, but darkest before the dawn they say.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter and sorry for the wait. I try to keep up my schedule but its hard at times…fatigue and the like. Thinking for my next story maybe something in OMG or another more unique pairing…I do like Shinji and the older ladies of Nerv. Ritsuko doesn't get enough fan cred as I think she deserves…maybe…or a dark story with Rei and emotions those are always fun! Ideas overload!

Ja mata

Zentrodie


	25. Chapter 25

Standard Disclaimer

Well this one is just about finished. After this chapter all I have left is the epilogue. Work has gotten a bit better so I'm not super paranoid now which is great! Hope you're all doing good.

X-X

Due to Chance

Chapter – 25

Walking up, Shinji stretched his arms out from under the thin barracks blanket. Instantly the chill of the base's A/C hit his bare chest cause him to shiver and pull the itchy shield around himself. Sitting up, he strained his eyes to see if he was alone or not. He was, Ritsuko had left to do her own work while he stayed behind. Not like this song and dance hadn't happened like this for the last three days. A full week after the death of the last angel and the last appearance of Kaji, Ritsuko and Shinji started sharing her room.

Yawning loudly, Shinji kicked his feet over the side of the bed and winced. "Cold floor," he had a nasty taste in his mouth. Living off base food was a cruel punishment, not that he didn't deserve it. "I killed a friend, no matter what she says," Shinji moaned. Life had come crashing down on the poor boy with cruelty and spite. "But it's not just me that's suffering," despite himself he smiled a little. Memories of last night surged through his mind like a bolt of lightning. Forcing himself off the bed, Shinji found the light switch and regrettably turned it on. "Going to need to clean," he didn't like the state of the room.

It was small, featureless, and yet Ritsuko let what little clothing she had with her dirty the place. Kaji's were folded neatly though in one of the provided dresser drawers, untouched yet staring at them. "I hope she's wrong," Shinji picked his boxers off the ground and slide them on. Ritsuko feared Kaji was dead, removed by either Gendo or this Seele group after Kaworu was dealt with. She took it hard, worse than Kaji left for Misato so long ago. Apparently they had some system set up, if he had to leave and couldn't come back he'd contact her somehow, he hadn't.

Putting on his dirty clothing, Shinji kept his own belongings in his own small room adjacent to Ritsuko's. It wouldn't do good though for him to walk out of Ritsuko's in naught but his boxers though. Ritsuko might not care how people saw her, but he did. "She's been through to much, glad I can be here for her," Shinji buttoned his shirt and pulled up his pants. It had only happened once, last night, and they both were realistic about it. It was the only way thing they could do to show that they cared, both were beyond words. Words were too weak, both hearing more lies than they could count. Both were in love with others, but…last night they were able to share one moment. Their wouldn't be another, it wasn't needed.

Finding the corridor empty, not surprising with so few staff returning, Shinji stole into his room without being spotted. Most of Nerv was empty now, many celebrating their great 'victory', and Ritsuko's efforts to lower the body count. "If they only knew what she was doing for them," Shinji found a book of his. One of the many Asuka had insisted he read, it was brilliant and he caressed its binding. "I miss you," he sniffed heard. He'd go visit her today before his 'tests' with Unit-01. To think after his triumphant slaying of a young man filled with wonder and warmth, Shinji was going to be attacked by his fellow man.

Changing out of his sleep clothing and into a plugsuit, Shinji sat hard on his bed with his hands to his head. "Rei…Asuka…Touji…Kaworu…please don't make me add Ryoji-san's name to that list," Shinji pleaded. Why must everybody he love or even like slightly leave him? Two of which he blamed himself for. Rubbing the irritating out of his eye, Shinji gazed up to one of Ritsuko's presents to him, a small photo of Rei he had hung on his wall. Forcing himself to be strong, not fall into despair, "Rei-san, where are you?"

Much like Kaji, Rei had vanished from his life completely as did the commander. Nobody knew where they were, but nobody cared. To them the trials were over, humanity was victorious and it was time to live again. Thoughts of the bastard commander and the 'creepy First Child', as Shinji overheard them called, were an afterthought. Won't they be surprised when the attack force eventually came. "Wish they had let me know before, I'd have tried to help them more," Shinji pulled his shoes on.

The night before, prior to Ritsuko's slow caress of his face that eventually lead to them seeking their sole means of comfort, she told him everything. He had been beating himself up over Kaworu, blaming himself for the boy Shinji considered friend's death. After her shift, setting up covertly for the eventual assault, she found Shinji sat by him and they held hands. Kaji's duel role, her work on the Dummy System, Rei's origin, and all she had learned the woman imparted to Shinji. It didn't change Shinji's feelings for Rei in the slightest, but Gendo was even less cared for.

Leaving his room, one that seemed even less lived in than the one back in the apartment, Shinji prayed today was the day. "Just to get it over, and we can finally leave," Shinji wanted to be done with the whole mess. His hands were stained red, but his heart and mind were only strained not broke. Flexing his fingers in the suit, clenching them into a fist, Shinji scowled, "I won't dishonor them, I won't fail." Too much had happened, too much pain, for him to be beaten now.

"Good morning, Ikari-kun, off for more tests?" Makoto asked as he waited at a vending machine. Waiting for his coffee, the man had dark circles under his eyes but a warm smile. Pointing at the other machines, "Get you a drink or something?"

It wasn't that Shinji disliked Makoto, he just didn't know the man enough to care. Making things worse, Makoto made a big deal over Shinji's single handed slaughter of a friend unable to resist his nature. Being hailed as a hero for his actions, Shinji hated that. "No thank you Aoba-san, not hungry this morning. Think I'll just get my testing started after I check on Asuka-san," he hoped Makoto didn't insist.

Grabbing his cup, Makoto shrugged and turned to face Shinji officially, no easy escape. "Wonder why Akagi-san is forcing both of us to worry about this still. I thought they said there would only be seventeen angels. So if you killed the last one, why keep all this up? I'd like to get out of here and back to my apartment. Right?" he waved his cup around widely. Walking over to Shinji, wrapping a friendly arm around the boy's shoulder, "How you taking everything? To think Kaji-san turned coward."

Uneasy was how that arm made him feel, disgusted that this man turned on yet another friend. "I don't believe that rumor myself, I think Kaji-san is off doing something important," Shinji had to. Kaji was no coward, so the options were he was unable to contact them or dead. Kaji, to Shinji anyway, wasn't the type to die easy. Stepping out of Makoto's reach, "And yeah, I'd like to go home too. The beds here are to hard, and the food is terrible. I miss my kitchen and Ritsuko-san's cats."

Sipping more of his coffee, Makoto's head bobbed in agreement. "I did hear you cooked a lot, I should take lessons from you. Might help me with the ladies a bit, though I doubt you have problems in that department," Makoto eyed a few people walking by. His eyes strayed over form of a taller woman walking with one of the guards. "You doing to stay with Akagi-san after this is over or going to get your own place?" he started walking along side Shinji towards Unit-01.

Getting to the intersection leading to the hospital ward, Shinji felt a sense of foreboding. Maybe today really was the day, he had a dark feeling as if sensing his impending doom. "If she'll let me stay I will. To many people think poorly of her, and they just don't know her. Akagi-san is a wonderful lady. The things she's done for us all…I don't know who her mother was but I think Akagi-san is a better woman," Shinji's features were set. With nothing else to do for the last week, Shinji walked the base and listened. Makoto and many others had little good to say about Ritsuko oft comparing her to Naoko. To Shinji there was no comparison, Ritsuko was superior.

Laughing a little, Makoto stomped his foot on the ground, "Well Ikari-kun, you just don't know her good enough. Akagi is a strange one while her mother was a true genius. But any port in a storm. Think I'll check in on her." An odd glint in the man's eye marred his general good natured expression. "Anything you can tell me about her, Ikari-kun? I mean…we're both men here and…you know what, never mind. It wouldn't work between us I'm betting. See you in the tank," he waved and headed off to his station.

"She'd eat you alive," Shinji whispered but grinned regardless. Makoto was just a sad little man who thought the wrong things were important. Looks were nice, but a personality was better. Physical shows of affection were wonderful, but emotional trumped them. Maybe in time Makoto would learn, if not maybe he could try talking to Katsuragi when she woke up. If Kaji was gone, Shinji hoped Ritsuko ended up with somebody a lot better than Makoto. Making his way to Asuka's room, Shinji let himself in as the nurses' station had been empty for the last two days. The beeping machines greeted him, "Morning Asuka."

Laying their unmoving on her bed as she had since her admittance, Asuka did not react to Shinji's cordial greeting. The monitor beeped out her heart rate, the IV stand dripped, and her steady and unbroken stream of breaths was all the sounds in the room.

He hated seeing her like this, it was unnatural and alien for what Shinji knew of the girl. Approaching her, Shinji just gazed down at her. Fixing her hair, Shinji brushed the back of his hand gingerly against her cheek. "You won't believe what's been happening around here Asuka. Kaji-san is gone and I haven't seen Rei-san in well over a week. At least Katsuragi-san has been moved out of harm's way," he grabbed Asuka's hand. Taking the appendage not hosting the IV, he fell to his knees cradling her hand to his face. "I miss you, miss Rei-san. Come back to us soon," he sniffed hard and got back up.

Fixing her hand back up on the mattress, Shinji sat back down next to her. He talked at her for thirty minutes. Told her all about Kaworu and the encounter in terminal dogma, life on the base, and everything he could. If she heard him or not was debatable but he felt better talking to her. The issues with Touji were already forgiven and forgotten. It didn't matter much in the long term after all. His own activities after their 'time apart' started was proof. Not wanting to bother Ritsuko as she did her more important work, Rei gone, Shinji had nobody else to talk to now save Asuka's comatose body.

After seeing the clock alerting him to his need to move, Shinji got out of his chair. Fluffing the flowers he had brought in the day before, the room was so drab without it, he just watched her for a minute. Kissing his fingers he touched them to her lips, "Ritsuko-san said she'll have you loaded into Unit-02 if anything happens to the base. I'll be…be waiting for you to back me up if it does." If nothing else she'd be safer in the mighty red behemoth than strapped to a bed. Disgust and anger started to grow in his gullet.

She just lay there, sickly and pale, a betrayal of all things Asuka used to be. The strong willed genius, full of confidence and beauty was not here. Only somebody that let life take advantage of her, somebody that didn't trust him and eventually self-destructed. Somebody that made him love her and then left him behind…like Rei and his mother. Everybody he loved left him, and Asuka was at the forefront of his feelings. "When you wake up I'm going to demand an apology from you for running away like this," he just couldn't stay angry at her. All he could hope was that she came back from wherever she was.

Shutting the door, that slimy feeling starting to subside, Shinji headed towards the hanger bay. The few people he passed had the same lost and confused look he wore when Ritsuko told him of the impending attack. They didn't know why they were still there, what purpose they kept coming in to work for. It was hard, damn hard not to fall into a funk or depression over everything. Failing and what it meant was the only reason he kept on going. Ritsuko deserved to live, Rei should have a chance at a free life, Asuka potential to recover, and all his friends a future.

Climbing into Unit-01's entry plug, Shinji entered the commands to begin the startup procedure. He'd done it so many times over the last few days it was second nature. Since they didn't know when the attack was due, Ritsuko made up a lot of false reasons for him to be in the cockpit. Only the command staff and security knew the truth of why Shinji was doing it. The technicians were kept to a minimum, claiming lack of need of a full time staff due to only one pilot on hand. No reason to risk their lives unduly, but if they knew the situation they'd tell somebody or stop showing up and they were needed.

"Let's get this over with already, I'm too tired," Shinji prayed aloud as he started the sync procedures. Linking into the command bridge's chatter, Shinji listened to the banal chatter. Closing his eyes, he focused on synchronizing with his unit, Shinji couldn't help himself. "Hello mother," Ritsuko had told him that part too. To think all this time, those hazy dream like times he nearly died in Unit-01 were real. "We'll do this together," Shinji was awash with the rainbow effect of starting up his Eva.

An hour of sitting in Unit-01 listening to the nothing but boring talking on the bridge, Shinji heard a sudden spike of agitation. Something was happening, security guards weren't checking in. When he was about to ask Makoto or Ritsuko if he should do anything a shot rang out over the line. "Shinji-kun, we're launching you now! The Magi are under attack, base was infiltrated by a stealth unit and they let in their forces. Somehow they got through blind spots in our security net, not surprising with it full of holes," Shigeru gushed out hotly as he could be seen arming himself.

"Shinji, I have Makoto heading to Asuka now, he'll get her to Unit-02 and we'll launch it into the lake. You…watch yourself," Ritsuko popping in looking worried and haggard. A moment later Unit-01 was being launched into an awaiting armed force trying to take over the base.

X-X

Placing his satchel charge, Kaji felt his adrenaline pulsating through his body. All his senses were overly heightened to levels he was not comfortable with. The smell of blood and death was all around, and it was coming mostly from people he had been working with for years. Arming the remote detonator, Kaji signaled for his crew to move forward deeper into the bowels of Nerv. The men they encountered here were Gendo's handpicked security detail, likely unwilling to surrender.

"Continue onward down that hall, clear every room, destroy all instillations of high-tech," Kaji waved at his small squad of four. The men saluted and ran off leaving Kaji to set another charge. They were going to bring this part of the base down, melt it to slag and hope it prevented Gendo from fulfilling his plans. Running his gloved hand against his forehead, Kaji took off his protective facemask and helmet and dropped them to the ground. After entering the startup sequence, "Are you two safe up there?"

He had feared he was a goner when he got brought back in, but Kaji was not yet gone from this world. Just before the final angel struck, he was forcibly recalled to assist in planning the siege of Nerv. It took three days of intense questioning and interrogation to get the plotters to even consider Kaji for being part of the infiltration team. Those were dark moments, painful moments, but Kaji pulled through and here he was. It all ended here for good or ill, the next two hours would determine everything. And he just betrayed his own small squad, they were all the disposable men anyway.

"They'll be fine without me, and hopefully Ritsuko has all the innocent crew out of here," Kaji felt sick at his knowledge. Above him his friends were being attacked and possibly killed, Ritsuko and Shinji among them. "It's funny, if they valued me more they'd have either kept me out of here or put me up there in the slaughterhouse," Kaji was always one to enjoy a good ironic joke. His crew of four headed east, Kaji went west towards Heaven's Gate and likely Gendo. Not one to enjoy the use of assault rifles, Kaji dropped it and drew his sidearm, he knew its use better.

The body armor was heavy and chaffed, but it had already absorbed one potential life ending round fired by a security guard he recognized. It had come from a beast of a man that Kaji never cared for, but did he deserve what happened? Kaji didn't know. "Be safe, please be safe," Kaji prayed as the whole facility shook as a blast went off above them. Aerial bombardment or maybe those mass production Eva units finally showed up. Sliding down the wall, Kaji's head never stayed focused one place for more than a moment.

Warning klaxons sounded, the sound of men screaming, heat billowed out of the many of the hallways as security features sealed off tunnels. Nerv was fighting back but losing and falling back. But Kaji didn't run into any more people as he made his way towards his goal. What happened here while he was away, did Ritsuko fear the worst? All his means of contacting her had been either cut or compromised so he couldn't use them. Did she tell Shinji about what was going to happen, they had planned on bringing him up to speed on things. And what was this he heard that Kaworu truly was the last angel, did Shinji have to kill a friend?

Heaven's Gate was open as Kaji walking into the open chamber towards it, Gendo was likely there already. "No more time to waste," Kaji pulled out his clip and checked it again. Full, not that he'd need more than one or two to put a stop to the madness. After the commander fell, Kaji would radio in the fact and hopefully Nerv would surrender. Seele wouldn't be able to act if the UN took control, and if Kaji could find Adam on Gendo and destroy it…well it was a gamble but should put a stop to both groups. "That is if what we learned had any truth to it," to many possibilities but Kaji had no other option.

His days in confinement back with the JSDF were productive at least. Corruption was everywhere, some of the higher ups in the JSDF were in Seele's pocket. They knew about Ritsuko and his relationship and even tried bartering her safety to betray Gendo. Funny thing that, Kaji willingly sided with the JSDF to spare her and to get into the base for this. His allegiance was to the truth and humanity, and he would use every option he had to insure its survival.

Using a piece of glass, Kaji checked around the corner of the door and found nobody. Holstering his sidearm, Kaji walked into Terminal Dogma and took in the giant beast with its mask. They'd have to do something about that eventually. "Shinji-kun can easily take that thing down," but Kaji got the suspicion that wouldn't be the case. The legs had grown back since the lance had been removed, just what was that thing?

With his dominant foot forward, Kaji stepped and dragged his foot as he turned briskly. Where his eyes went his barrel went with his finger on the trigger. "Ikari I'm here for you, so don't do anything stupid. You're under arrest for crimes against humanity!" Kaji yelled out as he finally saw the frame of his target. Standing like a tiny mite before the giant, Gendo's black suit was a stark contrast to the being of white in front of him. "Stop what you're doing and get on the floor now!" Kaji was tempted to just fire but he couldn't. What if Gendo knew something, something to prevent further tragedy?

Turning around, bringing an unexpected guest with him, Gendo stood with a nude Ayanami Rei standing in front of him. "Ah Kaji-kun, I don't have time to waste on you right now," Gendo reached into his jacket and stopped. Holding his free hand up in a show of non-force, Gendo slowly pulled out a small pad. "This is what you want, details, I don't need them anymore," he tossed it at Kaji's feet. Clearing his throat, standing directly behind the teenager, "All you want is there. Take it and go."

"R-Rei-chan are you alright? Come over here," Kaji called out to the girl. She looked bad, eyes were full red with dark circles under them. Drugged on something he couldn't fathom, but she was so doped up she could hardly stand. Getting on one knee, Kaji made his big mistake taking his eyes of Gendo for a second to grab the pad. The moment his hand touched the cold plastic device, Kaji's peripheral vision saw Gendo move. Rolling back, the round Gendo fired would have destroyed him or the pad, Kaji's reflexes saved both. "Coward, but then again what else can you call a man afraid of his own son," Kaji reaffixed his aim.

Now standing in front of Rei, the hand not holding the small pistol was pushing Rei back. "You were always dependable, Kaji. But I should have just sent you instead of Katsuragi those months ago," Gendo kept his aim on Kaji. If Gendo took any of Kaji's jibs to heart he didn't show it. "Either women would have been good choices, Akagi's have always had varied uses. The mother was good, had I sent you I wonder how the daughter would have been," Gendo smirked. Taking a step away from Kaji, Rei's drugged body fell heavily into Gendo's arm.

"She'd never consider a bastard like you. She'd sooner be with Shinji. Good kid that one, going to adopt him after this is all over," Kaji mocked. This wasn't good, standoffs never were. They'd goad and snipe at one another, but in the end they were here to end the other. Rei needed medical attention, Gendo needed to be stopped. Letting the man try and get under his skin, get him riled up and emotional so he'd miss when the time came. Gendo had it easier, if he missed nothing happened, if Kaji missed he could hit Rei. Shinji might forgive him for it, but Kaji wouldn't forgive himself. Slowly getting back up to his feet, Kaji felt inside his vest for the detonator, "But what would a pedophile like you know? What did you do to that poor girl?"

A small tremor rippled through the building, a roar of metal on metal from far above signaled something massive was happening up there. Gendo didn't react to the small earthquake, "Having her fulfill her purpose. She was created for this moment. Had I my way I'd have replaced with after she was defiled, but that old fool had to try and ruin things." His glasses obscured his eyes and his focus, leaving Gendo's plans vague.

The room went silent, the small talk was over they were waiting for the moment to strike. Kaji holding his pistol in one hand and the detonator in the other, he waggled his trump cards. "Well she'll have a new reason to live once she's free of you," Kaji hit the button. The explosion was mighty behind him, the satchel charges doing their work, only it wasn't enough. Where Kaji stumbled from the tremor, his body armor setting him off balance, Gendo was quicker to recover. The sound of the round being discharged filled Kaji with that moment of panic. Pain exploded in him, but in a most unexpected area, his left leg.

Spinning outward, his sidearm flung from his hand, Kaji fell to the ground helpless clutching his wound. It was glancing on the inner side of his thigh, if he was two inches shorter he'd have lost his little friend and likely Gendo's target. Scanning the floor for whatever his weapon went, he couldn't see it. "Do it then…but Shinji-kun won't let you succeed," Kaji looked up at Gendo and that infernal smirk. It was going to end here like this? It wasn't fair! Closing his eyes, an image of Ritsuko in his mind he prayed she survived, that she found happiness somewhere. He loved her, he wanted her happy, and he failed her so much. Maybe this was the best, he couldn't hurt her anymore.

"I must go, Shinji is calling me…he needs me," Rei said with sudden clarity and fierceness. Even before the echo of her voice left the room, Gendo's scream covered it with deafening intensity. The girl didn't stop to look at him, the hand that had been placed against her stomach to steady her was gone, a stump ending at the wrist.

Capitalizing on Rei's sudden return to cognizance, Kaji shuffled over to the screaming Gendo. Grabbing the gun, Kaji tossed it into the lake of LCL and spun Gendo over. Handcuffing the man's good hand to his ankle, Kaji looked up to find Rei, "Thanks Ayanami you really saved…A-Ayanami?" Oh did he miss something important. She was flying, flying towards that monstrosity. "Ayanami stop! You don't need to do this! Stop!" He held up his sidearm and targeted her small body as it moved further away from him. Gendo's crying lowered to a weak mewling. To fire or not…what was Rei going to do?

Flapping alongside Kaji's side, slamming his chin against the ground so he could get a view of Rei, Gendo pleaded loudly. "Rei come back! I forbid this," his face was caked with snot and tears of pain. The blood poured from his open wound, but Gendo rocked Kaji off of him and got to his knees. "You're supposed to take me to Yui! Come back!" he reached out with his stump but to no avail.

Seeing Shinji's sad face, Kaji couldn't help but think he was betraying the lad as he fired. Rei was doing something that shouldn't happen, it was what Seele or Gendo wanted and not to humanities best interest. "Forgive me Shinji-kun," he let fly all the rounds in his magazine. Most went wild, but one was on course only to be deflected by the orange hexagon of her AT Field. Eyes going wide in horror, Kaji witnessed Rei being absorbed into the giant of white. Grabbing Gendo by the collar, Kaji yanked the man to face him, "What happened, what the fuck just happened here?"

Rei/Lilith pulled herself off her giant red cross sending a tide of LCL flowing towards the two men. All at once all of Gendo's pomp and flair left him. The commander of Nerv for the first time in Kaji's time with the man looked like the forbearer of Shinji. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, this isn't what I wanted," Gendo couldn't meet Kaji's gaze.

As the wall of LCL was approaching, Kaji braced himself for the force of it. So there was some of Shinji in Gendo after all, funny how they didn't realize it till the end. A loud explosion again drew Kaji's gaze to the Rei-thing, she had destroyed the ceiling of the cave all the way up to the surface! "I can see the…light is, mother of god," Kaji braced himself using Gendo as a shield against the LCL wave.

Both men watched in dumb horror as the being of white formed into a giant Rei and ascended through the hole it created. Moments later the LCL hit them and sent them spiraling backward. Kaji's grip on Gendo failed after their spinning increased in speed. Breathing deeply of the LCL, Kaji had a new found respect for Shinji as the taste nauseated him. They nearly brushed up against the wall, then the wave started to recede pulling them with it. Then it was all back in the lake, Kaji stood up and pulled Gendo, nearly completely pliable, as well.

His leg ached, but oddly enough the LCL seemed to have helped seal the wound. Small blessings were still blessings, Kaji wagered. "Well whatever happens with that it's out of my hands. I can only hope Shinji-kun can stop her," he shook Gendo harshly and left him. Gendo wasn't responsive, not surprising after having a plan of over ten years ruined in the last five minutes. Shambling out of Terminal Dogma, Kaji still had something to do. He had to find Ritsuko, if only her body, and wait the inevitable. Life or death, it wasn't up to him anymore.

Pulling out the pad he got from Gendo, Kaji shook the LCL off it and thanked the technology gods for waterproofing. "Maybe this will tell us something, maybe not," what was worth was might never be determined. All he wanted now was to find Ritsuko, if he was going to die he wanted to die with her in his arms.

Finding the crew he came in with huddled by an elevator he held up the pad and nodded. "Threat accessed and neutralized as best possible," he tossed the pad to Sagara who defected. They clapped and congratulated him for doing the hard work. Offering to see to his wound, clearly seen by the destroyed cloth, he waved it off, "Just point me towards a working elevator. I need to get to the command bridge. Get them to stand down or something." Likely Rei's arrival threw everything into upheaval, but if not Kaji had to try.

"Sir we can't get a line out. Everything went to hell a few minutes ago. Those giants we brought with us…the two eva's fighting them, some new giant…things are all confusing and we've got the order to withdraw," Sagara informed Kaji. "I don't know what's happening sir, but I'm all for leaving the way we came in. It's the only real option with most of the shafts full of Bakelite.

More tremors hit the base, Kaji felt that chill work on him again. What was happening up there? Two eva's? Did Soryu wake up or something? No matter, he had to get to Ritsuko. "Point me at the clearest shaft, I'm going climbing. You'd be doing the same if Tessa was up there?" Kaji had struck up an odd friendship with the gruff Sagara. They were the expendable lot for not being fully trusted, but they knew each other. The man nodded and pointed Kaji in the right way, and Kaji headed towards his destination and hopefully his living soon-to-be fiancé.

X-X

"Makoto I told you to decouple that subroutine to prevent multi-thread access!" Ritsuko yelled at her incompetent subordinate. Things were uneasy, Ritsuko could just smell the incoming battle. What would be first? An attempt on the Magi, a frontal assault, or something subtle like poisoning the Geofront to weaken them they were all viable options. Somewhere on the other side of the base Shinji was sitting in Unit-01, she didn't want him in that tin can. "We don't want to be any security holes," she leaned over his shoulder observing his work.

Trembling just a little, the mousy man fidgeted as he typed out the orders. "I don't understand why we're so worried about this. Shouldn't we be more worried about closing things out not bolstering them up?" Makoto was not one of the few to know truth. Finishing off the current request, the man peeked over at Shigeru who was giggling at him. "What is so funny!" he finally yelled.

Shifting to stand between the two bickering men, Ritsuko put a stop to distractions. Oh she knew Makoto was hard up for a woman, any woman, since moving onto the base. She knew he was eying her more and more after Kaji went missing, but also knew he was to cowardly to act. Makoto was either intimidated by her or not desperate enough to approach her, not like he'd get anywhere. Appling a good sampling of pressure on Makoto's shoulder, "Pay attention, this is important. I want you to recheck all of the I/O gates for any pings. The JSDF said they were going to try out security as a precaution and I will not have us fail," she lied.

Until the attack came, on Shigeru and her knew of its incoming nature. Kaji and Shinji knew, but they weren't here. God she wished Kaji was here, but with each passing day it was more likely he was dead. After days of waiting, checking all of his known contact methods only to be greeted with stone silence she was nearly without hope. But this time, unlike with Misato, she was already hardened. Likely she'd be joining him soon anyway, their defenses were comical with the exception of Unit-01. Though Shinji couldn't protect the inside of the base, and he'd have his hands full with the mass production units.

"Akagi-san, I'm seeing some strange radio frequency coming across the city," Shigeru pushed his ear bud in harder. Twisting some dials the man shifted in his seat with a growing sense of fear. "Not so much what I am hearing but what I'm not. A lot of commercial chatter has just went down, the city is silent in a five mile radius around the GeoFront," the man nodded with grime realization.

So it was ground first then, Ritsuko's hopes for surviving went even lower. "Alright, everybody listen up," she called what little staff was nearby to her. "Soon we'll likely be under attack by the JSDF. Don't bother asking why, I don't have time to inform you now. Go to a weapons locker and get yourself something to protect yourself with," she heard the commotion growing. Of course they'd be afraid, to blinded by pettiness to even consider what was likely to come. As they opened the armaments, "Continue about your work, we don't know for sure, but Shigeru is spotting a signs of approaching forces."

After little over a dozen command staff members armed themselves, Makoto approached Ritsuko with a dark look. "Why didn't you tell us about this earlier, Akagi-san? If we knew this was going to happen, why bother even staying here!?" he yelled out petulantly. Chambering a round into his new weapon, the man retook his seat glaring at Ritsuko the whole way. "This is insane, we're down to nearly a skeletal staff and we have to worry about this?" he continued his working but markedly slower.

This was why they didn't tell anybody save those that needed it, they'd panic and show their hand to early. Whatever forces moved against them would only attack faster before they ran out of time. Well Ritsuko didn't care about those cowards. If a fourteen year old could face death nearly every day, these few could face it once. She just hoped Shinji survived this, and maybe Asuka or Rei returned to him, even Maya if those two didn't. The previous night, a warm sense of connection, was going to be her last was it. She could die happy with that knowledge. Even if they both did survive there would be no repeat of last night's passion, they transcended that. Kaji, Ritsuko would hold out for him until she found his body, and even then…there would be no replacement of him.

"Akagi!" Makoto shrieked aloud and nearly put his face through the screen he was leaning in so fast. "The Magi! We're under cyber assault from dummy magi's from all over the world! What can we do they're already invaded Caspar!" he hammered his fingers as fast as he could. The man was talented, but to green about the system to be a real contender.

Pushing Makoto out of the chair, the doctor was in for the pound. "Go get Soryu loaded into Unit-02 and jettison her into the lake. I'll take care of this," she was already opening up of her secret weapons. Sparing the man a quick glance, he was sitting prone on the ground, Ritsuko snarled at him angrily. "Get your ass off the ground and get moving! She'll be safer out there than in some bed. If they're hacking the Magi the attack won't be far off!" she couldn't allow for any further delay."

"Ma'am" Makoto gulped out and got off running towards the exit. He slammed against the doorframe and quickly rebounded down the hall out of sight.

Queuing up her defenses but not starting it, that would shut down all options, Ritsuko opened a channel to Shinji. Seeing his face, it gave her courage and the will to continue. Without Shinji, well Ritsuko would have just let the attack go off without a hitch. She had nothing else anymore, not if Kaji really was gone. Shinji deserved better than a broken woman to have to watch over. He'd of course be accommodating and darling to her as always was, but she'd not limit him. Shinji had a life ahead of him with one of three lovely ladies. And while they both did love one another, it was not the same…they were two souls that shared the same pain and connected and supported one another. She'd give him that chance.

Feeling old, tired and haggard she informed him, "Shinji, I have Makoto heading to Asuka now, he'll get her to Unit-02 and we'll launch it into the lake. You…watch yourself." Entering in the launch command she sent Shinji off to be their first line of defense, and then filled the tunnels with Bakelite but leaving Makoto a clear path to where he needed to go. Then her '666' program was invoked and the cyber assault was temporarily halted. "Be safe out there, Shinji-kun, and come back to those who waiting for you," she knew he'd survive.

"Akagi-san, I'm not getting any reports from any of the gate sentries," Shigeru informed. A small ripple of explosions sent the base trembling and more than one person off their feet. Wincing and plugging his ears, the man scowled. "Before you cut us off I saw a whole battalion approaching, land, sea, and air coming. We won't last long," he hardly kept his composure. The echoes of gunshots down the corridors filled the command station with its tolling sound.

Working to bypass some of her own blocks, Ritsuko got a small selection of cameras back running. "They'll hit the blocks of flooded hallways and funnel them down below us if they're coming here," Ritsuko pointed at the lower half of the command deck. Pulling off the comm speaker, Ritsuko flipped the switch to broadcast to the whole base. "The base is under attack, repeat the base is under attack. Report to the command bridge via open hallways. Repeat report to the command deck," Ritsuko hoped what few people heard her listened.

Over the internal video the few armed defenders watched helplessly. Against all odds Makoto could be seen avoiding the patrols with Asuka in a wheelchair towards Unit-02. Makoto was one of the few lucky staff. They all watched as helpless staff were gunned down by armed and trained men. Friends where trying to drag the wounded out of harm's way only to be spotted themselves. Even the invading force could be seen suffering as the molten rubber flooded over them. Through it all, Ritsuko showed no emotion, she didn't care to watch what she had no control over.

"Don't worry about them, Shinji, they wouldn't do the same for you," Ritsuko slammed her fist against the console. Aware of her own mortality, Ritsuko had done all she could already and that was it. Asuka was launched into the lake, how the JSDF got a ship there would always be a mystery to her. What she desperately wanted to have was the ability to talk to Shinji, but he was just out of range, so she tried to free up more hacked towers. "Just take them out, don't scare them away," but she could see that was what Shinji was doing.

Standing at the exposed entrance to Nerv, a whole blown by an N2 mine, Shinji shielded them with his AT Field. He would strike at vehicles only to damage and force retreats, but he wouldn't destroy them. It was helping though, not many would risk a frontal assault against an Eva with unlimited power. However he couldn't block all of the entrance so the smaller detachments got in regardless.

The doorway in the lower corridor dinged loudly and finally blew inward followed by a small group of invaders. Equipped with riot shields and small arms they ran in firing. Shigeru had to pull Ritsuko down or she'd have been a clear target. Reinforcements from the other parts of the base were turning up and helping to keep the JSDF from advancing, but they were limited. Out armed, out defended, those proud few defenders did the best they could.

Eyes not leaving the monitor, Ritsuko felt her stomach loosen as she saw the small shapes of mighty planes on the horizon, the Mass productions Units. "Twenty minutes after they're deployed they'll shut down…last that long," she hoped he could. But he was alone, how could he face…wait, "Is the ship moving?" Ritsuko asked pointing at the screen. She couldn't believe it, Unit-02 was running and the crackling sounds of its pilot could be heard.

"St..p playing…ce with them! You…to give to them….give to us!" Asuka's triumphant voice was much what it had been months ago. The mighty red behemoth did what Shinji couldn't and tore into the forces opposing Nerv.

Falling to the ground as a round ricocheted near her head, Ritsuko rolled to her back. Staring up at the ceiling, "Well she did like to be dramatic didn't she." If there was a later she'd test Asuka to see how she recovered as she did, but for now there was something else to do. Joining the defense, Ritsuko undid the safety of her own sidearm. Taking am she let fly, when she saw Kaji again, at the apartment or the afterlife, she thank him for the training.

Rushing back into the room, a small detachment of other Nerv employees with him, Makoto rushed over to them. "Akagi it seems like they're withdrawing for some reason. We hardly saw anybody on are way back, but we saw more than a few of our own," he didn't have to finish. Holding up a bottle of soda refilled with cleaning solution, he tore off some of his shirt and looked around the others. "Anybody have a lighter so we can clear it up down there?" he set the improvised weapon down.

Wiping out her lighter, Ritsuko couldn't keep her smile off her face. "Glad I didn't give up smoking," she light the shirt and handed it to Shigeru. "Toss it right on top of them, maybe that will chase them off," she hoped anyway. Watching as the man did as ordered, a shot send him falling back to the ground with a small red line along his face. Running her finger along the wound, "Nearly got you there." The sounds of screaming below them was proof he had been successful though.

A small cheer went up from the bridge as the aggressors retreated for now. The wounded were tended to, those less fortunate moved to the corner out of the way. Makoto had a timid looking tech in his arms, she was trembling but unhurt. The sense that they might survive was growing ever so slightly, that was until Shigeru went and took a look at the monitors showing the battle.

"Those mass production eva's are acting strange! They're retreating from Unit-01 and 02 but…not leaving," Shigeru corrected a chair so he could sit.

Another rumbling hit the base, they were coming in lesser increments but this was almost right below them. Ritsuko stumbled over to the screen and took a deep breath. "They should be shutting down any minute now unless they found my virus," Ritsuko wouldn't think them skilled enough to find it. Hadn't thought of that! If they found it out then how would they take them down. "Get comm back up now! I have to talk to them, those units likely have a core like the angels!" she had erred in pride damn it!

Over the channel the broken sound of the freshly awakened Asuka called out triumphantly, "We found that out about ten minutes ago. And those weapons of theirs break through our fields. Not that you've had time to notice down there. Puppy here was the first to learn both." Unit-02 tore after the mass production with a confiscated blade in its hands.

"Thank god for small fav," Ritsuko was awash with relief until the Mass production units went into the sky. Flying high above the ground, even the two destroyed units were being supported by the others. A symbol matching the one in Gendo's office filled the sky between them. "Fall back you two, fall back before whatever those things are planning happens," she had no idea what she was seeing and it sickened her! Wasn't it her job to know what these things were capable of?

As they watched the bizarre action of their enemies, Shinji's voice cut through the air like a razor. "I…I can't control it! I'm being lifted! Asuka I can't control it!" Unit-01 tore off into the air with Unit-02 holding onto its foot. The mighty red beast did its best to keep Unit-01 down, but whatever was pulling it overpowered them. And there hanging in the air surrounded by the mass production units, the ground under their feet erupted.

"A-A-Akagi-san what is that?" Shigeru asked as he pointed at the screen. A being pure white, with the face of Ayanami Rei and the size of an Eva flew out of the ground. "WHAT IS THAT?" he pleaded before falling to his knees and covering his face in terror.

It was what they feared, Ritsuko knew that. "It's all on them now, whatever happens," oh she wished Kaji was here. If she had to die, she wanted to be with him when it happened. Maybe she tell him what happened with Shinji if they survived, maybe not. A tear came to Ritsuko's eye, despite it all the scene before her was beautiful. Lights and symbols, the magnificent body of Rei taking hold of one of Unit-02's hands and one of Unit-01's. They formed a circle, purple to red to white back to purple. "Do what you three have to do," Ritsuko collapsed to the ground she was spent and had nothing left in her to do.

They all watched though, as the giant Rei and Eva units spun in circles of ever increasing speed. So fast did the trio move that they lost a unique form, just blurring color. Above them the lance Rei hand launched to the moon flew down to them and twirled above their spinning form. Voice could be heard, both Shinji and Asuka though nobody could make sense of any of it. Then the lance flew out in increasingly wide circles until it hit the outer circle of mass production units. They exploded into vitreous gore and fell to the ground.

Then they slowed…and slowed…and slowed…and lowered back to the ground. Only the giant Rei was gone when they landed. Later when the tapes were reviewed, her nude form of natural size could be seen climbing into the open plug of Unit-01. Then Unit-01 and 02 finished off the remaining forces that had started retreating after Instrumentality had started and ended with only three people knowing it.

X-X

He felt sick, Makoto hated how weak and powerless he felt. A week after the attack on the base, the world had still not fully calmed down from the news of all the atrocities. Rich and powerful old men hiding in palatal mansions were plotting the end of the world to attain immorality of a sort. The commander of earths defense had planned on using the sum of humanity to reunite with the soul of his trapped wife. Far too many Nerv employees lost their lives when the base was attacked to meet this end for no reason other than trying to protect humanity. Makoto felt sick, the psychologist said it was survivors guilt.

Working his way into his dirty uniform, the laundry service on the base was still nonfunctional, the tired man looked at his reflection in his room's tiny mirror. "I look like shot," he pawed at his growing beard. Recovery efforts were going twenty-four seven, and his body took the toll. Bringing up the system seemed pointless now, but until the city started to rebuild the base was going to play host to the newly homeless. Walking out of his room, morning shifts were the worse, he passed the Akagi/Kaji room and stalled. Rolling his eyes, "Guess they're having a better morning."

The sounds coming out of the room were anything but public, not that those inside appeared to care. Not like they had much to worry about, the base was nearly empty. Those who survived the attack, most quit and left the city's remains and nobody blamed them. The command staff though were pleaded with to stay, Ritsuko and Kaji were among the first to reenlist. "You have to get going, Ryoji, he's likely waiting for you outside," Ritsuko's relaxed voice oozed pleased.

"Yeah you're right, but how can you tempt me like this," Kaji's muffled voice emanated through the door. After some shuffling and a small crash the door opened with a shirtless Kaji with an unlit smoke in his mouth. Blinking back surprise the man chuckled, "Sorry about that, give me a few minutes to get ready?"

Arms crossed, Makoto tapped his foot agitatedly against the ground. "Take your time. Not like we have much to do right now anyway. I for one could go few more days without looking over casualty reports," Makoto felt like punching the man. Who was Kaji to feel happy!? Kaji who rode in with the same people that killed their colleagues should not be so content with life. Walking a few paces away from their door, Makoto found himself standing before the plaque saying Shinji Ikari. That knocked the wind out of his sails, "Just hurry, Kaji-san. The sooner we get started the sooner I can get out of here. Going to check to see if my apartment survived after work today." He needed out of the base.

Holding his hand in admonishment right against his face, Kaji bowed his head. "Thanks, give me just a few!" he ducked back into the room with a heavy slam. More rustling and muted conversation was heard from within. Whatever banter was being heaved it was mostly coming from Ritsuko at Kaji, again not surprising. Anybody spending more than five minutes with the pair now could see it, Kaji was at the woman's beck and call, and he couldn't be happier. Four minutes later Kaji spun out of the room and shut the door, "Sorry about that. Power must have went out last night, clock was flashing."

A lie, Makoto knew that, but he'd respect Kaji's attempt at privacy. "Not a big issue. Things will be strange for a while," he waved off the apology. As Kaji approached him, Makoto could smell the faint musk of a woman on him and the sleepless look on Kaji's face. So the happy couple had another night of enjoyment. Makoto had spent the night reading a book and wondering whatever happened to the woman he saved. He never got to know her name, she had been one of the many to leave. "So what is on the agenda today besides waiting for the official government word?" they all wanted the public apology soon.

"Go over repair requests, talk to the city planners, force those fucking pencil pushers to talk about reparations, and see about getting the wounded to better hospitals," Kaji fixed his tie as he walked. They passed bullet ridden hallways, chalk outlines, and more than one bloodstain as they went to the bridge. The reminders of the tragedy all around them, the two men did their best to ignore it, to not let it break them. Hands in his pocket, Kaji stopped walking when they got to a break in the hall, "Mind if I go check in at their room?" Kaji flinched his head towards the recovery wing.

A cold spike of terror and shame worked from Makoto's neck down to his anus. Nobody knew what happened to those kids, but the world had seen it. Only those who knew the pilots knew who was actually in those things and Rei's face had been altered by Ritsuko before the footage had been released. "Y-you think that's a good idea? They've not…" he was ashamed. He was terrified of those kids, that whole nightmare was surrounded around them, and they had literally saved the world. But were they human still or were they beyond that? Something like what happened between them, it changes you doesn't it?

Seemingly grasping Makoto's fear, Kaji held out his hand palm up understandingly. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to. I just want to check on Shinji-kun and the girls," oh how tenderly Kaji said that boy's name. Three days after Nerv's survival Kaji and Ritsuko were already talking in not so hushed words their plans to formally adopt Shinji. Gendo and all of Seele not already dead were going to be locked away for a long time. Spinning on his heel Kaji sounded tired, "Just hope they wake soon. Be a real shame for them to miss the celebration."

He owed those kids more than to think them freaks, Makoto reasoned. Stuffing his own hands into his pockets, the heat of his legs warmed his clammy palms, he followed. "An informal party on the bridge, you'd think we'd have a better place for it. Not many would want to be reminded of this place," Makoto flipped his head back hard to fix his glasses. But if anyplace onsite should host it, it was the bridge. Ritsuko's quick thinking and forethought to use it saved more lives than anybody wanted to admit. Peeking at Kaji, "So when are you two getting hitched? Ritsuko Kaji…odd sounding."

"Well it's going to be Ryoji Akagi when it does happen, she's getting her claws in deep and hard," Kaji sniffed and rubbed his nose. Waving at the nurse behind the desk, an older woman with graying hair and a slightly fat but kind face, Kaji winked at her soliciting a blush. Writing his name down on the pad, filled with only Ritsuko and his name so far, "And once the city starts running again its first on our plans followed by getting ourselves a young Shinji Akagi."

Filling his name out below Kaji's, Makoto felt he was marring some personal space with his name breaking the pattern. Nodding at the nurse, she gave off the vibe his mother did before she died. "Guess having the last name that's going to be synonymous with attempted global genocide isn't a good idea," Makoto hoped Gendo's insanity didn't hurt the kid. Those pilots suffered more than anybody, would be a shame for any of them to have more pain thanks to those behind the mess. Following close behind Kaji as he walked into the pilots' room, Makoto took a deep breath to steady himself. So what was it, mangled bodies, deformed, missing limbs, or worse? Only Kaji and Ritsuko had seen them aside from the nurse.

Unblemished and sleeping were the trio of saviors. Three of the four beds in the room hosted one of the pilots. Asuka and Shinji shared the vertical cross while Rei and Shinji the horizontal. The machines monitoring them all read normal and good, but the trio all lay on their back unmoving and sleeping. A vase was by each bed with a single flower savaged from somewhere was the sole color in the room.

Starting at Rei's bed, Kaji made a round of the room with a grave countenance. "Ritsuko said they're all fine physically and mentally, just exhausted," Kaji answered the question before Makoto asked it. He picked up and handed Makoto the most recent details. "If they stay this way long enough I'm going to try and get Katsuragi moved back in with them," he scouted the room and ended on the lone sleeping male.

Some unbound impulse in him forced Makoto to move. He was not keen on much physical contact with guys, as little as possible, but at that moment he had to do something. So…he hugged Kaji lightly, a friendly expression. "I understand man. They'll get better, we can't have our heroes laying in the hospital forever," he did his best to soothe the man. It was evident right beneath the surface, a shared shame. Survivors guilt…here they were totally fine where so many others weren't. Children, no they were adults now, had hatred, pain, prejudice, and mocking while they saved those that never truly understood them. But Kaji did, Ritsuko did and Makoto saw how that weighed on Kaji.

The ever cool and collected Kaji stood rail stiff for a moment before his façade cracked. Shoulders going lax he nearly collapsed against Makoto. "They have to! They HAVE to," Kaji yelled. And just like that he was back to himself, calm and in control. Awkwardly removing himself from the other man's grasp, "Sorry about that. Just the more I think about what it means if they don't. That they suffered for us only to lie here to rot…no. We'll find a way to bring them back."

Opening the door so Kaji could walk through it, Makoto was touched by the sincerity of it all. "They've been through worse already. Soryu's recovery was a miracle and this looks to be less than that," he admitted. How the Second Child had awoken was truly either a miracle or a mystery, but they were all happy for it. Changing the topic to more banal things as they headed to the bridge, Makoto could almost forget all the bad that happened. Stepping around a chalk outline, "How long till people start coming back to the city?"

Avoiding a blood smear, Kaji shrugged noncommittally. "Either they're already starting to come back or they never will. I'm betting they're coming. Just hope our apartment survived too. Think we'll go look too after the shift is over," not that they had 'official' shifts right now. Just working until they couldn't stand it anymore, or waiting for word to come over their half broken comm system. Once things got back on track it'd go a lot smoother. "Hey babe, thought you were taking it easy today," Kaji waved at the blond sitting at the computer.

Waving at the men without looking at them, Ritsuko worked one handed. "Rather have something to do to keep my mind occupied than lay alone in that room," the woman yawned. Drinking water from an old bottle, she kicked her leg pensively. "They're going to be sending in a few more groups of technicians to get us up and running. And they'll be…be taking all of the injured except the three," for a moment she sounded emotional as if she cared.

He'd never understand that woman, but he suspected he wasn't meant to. Makoto just took up his place, Maya's old seat, and got to work. Material request forms, forms for workers, forms for this…forms for that…why couldn't they just send people with what they needed! "I hate paperwork, I think part of their punishment for what they did is doing this for us WITHOUT paperwork!" Makoto groaned as he worked. It was maddening how easy they got back into standard procedures, never doubt mankind's ability to adapt.

Her voice tittered lightly as she got up to stretch, "I think it would take even more than what happened here with those things to get them to give up their precious paperwork." Ritsuko linked her hands above her head and pushed standing on her tiptoes. A series of pops erupted from her back like a burst of gunfire. "Can't wait to get back to the apartment or the closest one like it. Those bunks are not meant for comfort," she sat back down. Kaji sat next to her, whispered in her ear, the little smile she had went away.

"Still can't believe they did it, any of them," Makoto sagged deeply into his seat. It would take weeks if not months for things to get back up and running if they ever did. He'd stay as long as they needed him, his penance for his earlier crimes against them. Let those that it affected worry about it, Makoto was just going to try and survive for now. The city wasn't destroyed, just the part near the GeoFront. People would come back, make things better. Could be worse, they had running water and power and passable phone lines. It'd get better. Stealing a glance at Kaji and Ritsuko, envy seeped out of him, maybe not everything would get better.

The day was long and mostly boring, more people coming to help out as it pleased them. After several hours Kaji went off to meet some official with the newest group of workers. Those new members took over for Ritsuko and him, so the trio of them left for the day. Kaji had his car, strangely still working, while Makoto got a ride part way. He got out at their apartment, closer to the base than his and still in perfect shape, it was a good sign. Kaji had offered to loan Makoto the car, but he declined, a walk was never bad. When he found his building, lights on in some of the units already he let go of the breath he was holding.

Yes things would get better, it would just take time and effort. And you better believe Nerv was going to let the JSDF and the government do all the heavy lifting. They had done enough hard work already.

X-X

When she woke it wasn't the gradual reintroduction to wakefulness that one normally got it was more a jolt of electricity coursing through her. Asuka's eyes went wide, her arms and hands pumped like well-greased machines slapped against the thin sheet of her bed, and she launched herself to a seated position. Awake, no alive again! Her heart hammered in her chest so powerfully she worried for a moment she'd have a heart attack. Air, even if it was medicinal, had never smelt so sweet!

Then came the memories, unwanted and unbidden blossomed like mold on her mind. Her mother was in Unit-02, her attempted suicide, that pig Touji, the battle, and finally what came afterward. It was like watching a movie of her life with her outside her body watching it. "What did I do…why did I…momma I'm sorry I hated you," Asuka pulled her hands away from her face. Her hair cascaded down around her obscuring her vision of her hospital bed. For so long she hated her mother for abandoning her, for going crazy and wanting her to die. It was wrong, Kyoko was really in Unit-02. That was why she couldn't sync, she was blocking herself. Her problems had all been her own making.

"You feeling alright, Asuka?" Shinji asked from the bed next to her. He shifted to face her better but not enough to knock the other occupant sitting on his bed over. "You've been asleep a day later than we were. We were getting a little worried," low mellow tones.

Head jerking like a bird's, Asuka honed in on Shinji's voice and nearly gave herself whiplash to see him. He had saved her from herself. After pushing him away, driving him away and hating him for nothing but being open, he saved her. "S-Shinji," she mewed out with a bright smile on her face. The hospital room came into focus with all its plain white glory, the light from the window assailed Asuka's eyes so she couldn't quite make him out, just one big blob. Their fight against those white bastards, the talk they shared…he forgave her everything, he still cared. "W-what happened after you started flying," her mind was still too jumbled to remember that.

The right side of the blob that was starting to come into focus was topped with blue. Rei spoke in reserved and carefully, "Give yourself a few moments and it will come to you. Do no panic when it comes to you though. We are here with you." The blob that was now more limbs than one giant mass of pale slithered off Shinji's bed and approached Asuka. Depressing the mattress to the frame, it was a very thin bed, Rei gently put a hand over Asuka's. Directly and flat Rei ordered, "Just relax and let the memories come. Do not fight them as I tried to, you will not win."

Rei was there…Rei? Asuka inhaled so sharply she started coughing on it. She felt Rei's hand on her back patting softly, Shinji took her other hand having come during her fit. Relax, how could she relax when what she saw was so bizarre and wrong! "You were flying, we beat some of them, you grew wings of light, and then…and then Ayanami was there and huge and," she started hyperventilating. More memories assailed her against her will, but Shinji and Rei were there with her. "And then it was all white, just us three. What happened to us?" she got her breathing under control and lanced Shinji in place with a look.

Nodding and looking away bashfully, a feature Asuka always found endearing, Shinji gave Asuka's hand a squeeze. "We're not too sure about that exactly. Rei-san was drugged and kept in seclusion since a few days after your…accident," his sad blue eyes met hers. There was no judgment there, no blame to be forced on the girl. He reaffixed his grip to be gentler. "But from what she remembers and the stuff Kaji-san gave us to read, what happened was supposed to 'change humanity'," he whispered the last.

Forcing her head to turn against her body's wishes, Asuka found Rei staring intently at the two of them. "We didn't change anything though. All I remember in that white place was the three of us just…" her face went red. The imagery was impossible to fully sort out, but what she remembered was quite personal. Thought forms, their forms merging together. The will to live, to continue on together. "I remember the two of you. I remember feeling warm. I remember my mother…your mother," she kept her eyes on Rei, the likeness was uncanny.

Getting off the bed, Rei moved back to Shinji's and sat down across from the two. "That is what we remember as well. Likely all we will ever recall, and I am comfortable with that," Rei rubbed her elbows as she crossed her hands. Shyly looking at Shinji, Rei's cheeks tinted red, "We also came to an agreement regarding what we will do regarding one another."

She saw it then, in how Rei looked at Shinji even if he didn't notice it. Vague recollections of that white space, what Rei was referring to. Rei loved Shinji, and while she was in her coma Rei acted on it and Shinji reciprocated. Anger, she was supposed to feel anger in this situation but she didn't. Asuka was a smart girl, smarter than most, and she knew at the time that was exactly what she wanted to have happen. Without a doubt, Asuka loved Shinji, still was head over heels, and wanted him happy. Was she back to herself again, pre-breakdown? No, but recovery was a possibility. But she wouldn't put him through that again, no emotional rollercoaster. No pushing him away with one hand and pulling him with the other.

"I don't remember that, wondergirl, but I know one thing for sure," Asuka cupped Shinji's cheek and reveled in the warmth. Strength, this was what she prided herself on. Being worthy of life, wasn't that what she always fought for? Well she was worthy, she fought through monsters and man to reclaim what she had lost. But so had they, Shinji and Rei, and she had her chance and squandered it. With that pig Touji, well he wasn't to blame for that fully so she couldn't even blame him. Pushing Shinji off her bed he stumbled to his feet, "And I know that you two did something while I wasn't here…and I guess I have to accept that." The moment he was off the bed she felt cold work back in.

Shinji didn't move and Rei came to his side. "Asuka-chan, you forgot it didn't you?" Shinji put a hand on her shoulder. He sat at her side again while Rei took the other. Laughing a little, Shinji tried speaking a few times only to stop each time. "R-Rei-san maybe you should tell her. I can't…it sounds wrong coming from me," he couldn't overcome his mental block.

"We are three, not one or two," Rei said simply. Leaning just a little against Asuka's side, Rei's arm was cold compared to Shinji's heat. "We are…different from them, the others. You are my friend, Shinji is more than that. While we were connected we shared our want to stay that way, but in this world," her head dipped to her chest.

Gently prodding Asuka to face him, Shinji had the cutest bashful expression, "D-does that make sense to you? Odd I know, but maybe you'll remember that part in time. Our childhoods, yours and mine, were anything but rosy. Rei-san had her own problems. But we found each other. You opened me up to people again, made me a better person. I helped Rei-san come back to trusting people again. And Rei helped you when Kaji and Misato caused you to start doubting yourself. I love both of you." Shinji vibrated with embarrassment.

"Dirty little pervert," Asuka teased him, she couldn't help it. "You just want two attractive girls at once don't you, Puppy," she wrapped an arm around his waist. Yes it made sense, and yes it made her happy. But she was to tired right now to really think about all this goody-goody feeling crap. "Both of you get back to your own beds, I want a nap. I know I've been sleeping for way to long, but I want sleep now. And don't you go sampling MY man while I'm sleeping here Rei," Asuka pointed at Rei with a finger only to gap.

Rei's face went positively crimson as she propelled herself off the bed and towards her own. "Yes sleep would be welcome. I too find myself taxed by the recent ordeal and the news from Akagi-san. Apparently I have…I am no longer what I was before the event. Changes in me have forced me to rethink my life with both of you. My genetic structure has changed," she wouldn't meet either Shinji or Asuka's eyes.

"You sneak!" Asuka yelped at both of them, they had done something in the room with her sleeping! Crawling back under the blanket, head concealed she again tried to be angry but found herself smiling. She was alive again, she would recover! Unit-02 had worked for her better than ever before, and she would insure it did so again! Shinji was going to be hers, he hadn't abandoned her like she feared, like she tried to get happen. "I'm not talking to either of you right now," she informed them but her tone was to light.

She fell back to sleep some twenty minutes later, and when she woke Rei was absent from the room. Shinji claimed she had wanted a shower, but they both knew it was to give them time to talk. And talk they did, about everything. What Asuka had tried doing and why, what Shinji did during it all. They all needed a lot more time to come to grips with what happened to themselves not alone one another. This little triumvirate business, well they'd deal with that nonsense when it came about. But for now it was recovery, regain their strength, and be there for one another. Oh she cried, hit him, called him horrible things, but he held her despite it all. And then she kissed him, and he continued to hold her, well when Rei came back in she quickly left the room again and came back a half hour later.

X-X

Authors Notes

And this was a lot of action and not as much character development as I want. Instrumentality occurred and only Asuka/Rei/Shinji experienced it. This was a bit of a wild ride from start to finish and I'm glad you took this ride with me. I don't do notes for epilogues so I'll get my fill here.

I started this mostly as a what if…I saw Kaji and Ritsuko getting to much flack and fan hatred for reasons I didn't understand. I hoped to make people see Ritsuko if nobody else as more a tragic hero. Her life sucked, living in her mother's shadow, abandoned by friends, intellectually removed, and just really lonely. She and Shinji had a lot in common and I wanted to explore that in a non-romantic way. Kaji always is a mixed bag in my stories as he's so open in the story he could be taken anyway good or bad.

Again, thank you for waiting as long as it took me to finish this thing (yes the epilogue is truly the end but…) I had a lot of fun writing this, being silly/comic all the time loses its punch and a nice drama makes the heart yearn.

So with this, thank you my dedicated readers who put up with my poor editing and odd timing for chapter releases. I'd not stay around so long if it wasn't for all of you. I could just recline and fill my brain with this, but you make me feel…important. Like my little stories have an impact or something even slightly greater than nothing.

I'm not much, really not, but when I see the listings of 'so-in-so is following' or favorited me or reviews (even bad ones) it makes me feel like I've reached out somehow and made some connection. You see into me as I write these, and its risky to do. Thank you for not making me regret my continued writings, thank you very much.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	26. Epilogue

When Misato woke up, nobody was at her bedside, nobody cheered, and nobody noticed it. Her body felt odd, stiff and uncooperative as she felt about herself. She was alive, she felt tired despite everything, but she needed to know what the situation was. Sitting up, her body felt alien to her as she did, as if she didn't fit in her skin anymore. The room was well light, a vase of flowers sat at her bedside but they looked older and starting to wilt. Plucking the card, she smiled softly as she read the names. Most of her coworkers names were there, even the three pilots. "Of course Asuka's is the biggest on it," but that was great!

If Asuka was willing to put such flourish on just signing Misato's card there was hope that Asuka had forgiven her! The card slipped through her fingers, she was having slight issues gripping it. "My head hurts," she grasped at her head and brushed away her hair. That was when she first noticed something strange, her hair was far longer than she remembered…far longer. Just how long was she sleeping, how did she get to this hospital anyway? Last thing she remembered were those pricks asking her questions. Reaching for the nurse-call button, she sighed, "No time like the present to find out."

It took the nurse, a young looking man in his thirties and quite burly, a full minute to arrive. He dashed into the room, not a great sign, wide eyed and stunned. "K-Katsuragi-san you're awake! You're awake! This is…I need to get Akagi-san!" the man gushed looking between the seated woman and down the hall. His thick fingers gripped the door, torn between what he should do. Licking his lips he took a slow tentative step in, "Anything I can get for you Katsuragi-san?"

She didn't recognize this man, not at all, but he knew her? Flipping her locks over her shoulder, Misato nodded and pointed at the jar of water. The condensation on it gleamed in the light from the window. "I'm thirsty enough to drink out of a rusty tailpipe and eat my weight in expired lunchmeat. But I'm betting you have better for me?" she winked at the man hoping to get him moving. Where was Kaji, Asuka, hell she'd even take that little cutie of Asuka's right not. Anybody to tell her what was going on. Hopefully Asuka got her thoughts together regarding that boy, they had been great for one another.

Reacting fast, but not Misato's best time, the man quickly poured a water into a plastic glass. "Sorry about that, Katsuragi-san, just wasn't expecting you to…" he handed her the cup and looked away. His green hospital issued uniform hung loosely on his frame. Pulling off his belt a small walkie-talkie, he twisted the dials on the top as he tapped his foot against the ground. "Yes, galley, this is Nori up on three, I need some breakfast sent up to room 312, yes she's woken up," he shyly looked out the window as he put his walkie away. "It might not taste better than expired lunchmeat, but it's better for you," he joked.

"As long as it's ready for consumption I'll love it," oh how Misato didn't like how he was avoiding looking at her. It was as if she was a celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Men had a way of looking at her, a casual lust in their eyes, that was not what this man had. "So care to tell me how long I've been sleeping? Where I am? How I got here? Anything about the angels?" she had to know. Oh how she wanted a phone so she could try calling Kaji or Asuka, they'd tell her all she needed to know. And just knowing they were alive would be great. Sipping the water, it soothed her parched throat like a divine mist, "Nori-kun, d-don't just leave me in the dark."

It was comical to see a man nearly twice Misato's size gazing at the woman fearfully. Falling back to the safety of the door, he pointed at the hallway. "I'm sorry Katsuragi-san, but I don't have a lot of time to stay and chat. I've rounds to make. But I will inform your doctor that you woke up, that's Akagi-san. What I can tell you is this is Tokyo-3 general hospital, you were brought in from Tokyo-2 after things calmed down," he informed. Without giving Misato anytime to respond he fled and shut the door softly behind him.

"When things calmed down? Ritsuko is my doctor?" Misato said aloud and fell back down. Spotting a television hanging in the corner, the woman groaned. Something was telling her to leave the thing off, just wait for her ex-friend to show up. Temptation was resisted for a full three minutes before she found the clicker on the nightstand by the flowers. "Likely somebody had it installed so they could watch while I slept," but how long had it been? Flipping through the stations, paid adverts, comedy shows, and plenty of other things she didn't recognize filled the woman with more fear. "Finally the news," she saw the welcome face of her morning news anchor looking back.

The plain woman, a few more lines around her eyes than Misato remembered, smiled pleasantly at the camera. "Good morning Tokyo-3 I'm Takano Aribitaki, and welcome to week two of our retrospective from last year's tragic yet triumphant end to what some call the Angel War," the anchor droned on. Images of Nerv, the Eva's, and crowds holding signs claiming how appreciative they were up. The screen went dark a moment later, the controller fell to the ground.

"A year? I've been here for a year?" Misato felt her chest tighten as her pulse quickened. How the hell was she sleeping for a year? The war was over too? What did that leave here to do now? Closing her eyes, her consciousness faded in and out as her mind played circles with that little tidbit of information. She tried to roll to her side, but found her strength lacks for the task. Friends, family, pets, and how many other things have changed since those bastards got their hands on her. As the exasperated sigh plunged out of her, "A whole year on my back."

Taking that moment to announce her presence, Ritsuko tapped Misato on the shoulder, "It's more like eighteen months to be accurate. We didn't 'officially' end the war, or even name it that, the press took the name and date from the end of the trials against those responsible." Helping Misato to sit up, Ritsuko kept a hand on her shoulder for a moment before hugging the woman tightly. "We've missed you Misato," she gave Misato's back a small rub.

Basking in a familiar face for a few moments, Misato clung to Ritsuko like a life preserver. "You have to tell me what's happened, Ritsuko, everything," Misato found her fingers running through Ritsuko's hair. After she had her fill of hugging one of her least favorite people, Misato gently pushed the woman away and was awestruck. The year absence had been GREAT for Ritsuko apparently, the woman appeared rejuvenated and brighter than ever. Against her better wishes, Misato let her hand move down Ritsuko's arm to her hand, she felt the ring. Was it what she feared, likely, considering how long she'd been sleeping. "Sit and talk while I…you have my food with you!" Misato saw the cart at Ritsuko's side.

"You were zoned out when I came in, not surprising," Ritsuko handed the tray over to Misato and some silverware. Getting the woman another cup of water, Ritsuko just had a small content smile on her face. A face that was lacking a lot of the hard lines it used to feature, relaxed and at peace with herself and the world. Fixing herself back into her chair, Ritsuko felt the wilting flowers and knocked a few petals off. "So work or personal info first, I know you want answers to what's been going on," she crossed her hands on her lap and tried to hide the ring.

Eating the bland tasteless food, Misato grimaced as it offended her palette. "That nurse was right, this doesn't taste good," she hesitated. Ritsuko was married, she knew that without a doubt now. The ring and how the doctor tried to hide it were perfect tells, and the fact she did try to hide it was also pretty evident. She wanted to cry even harder, but she'd no balk before this woman. "Tell me what happened to me, to Nerv, and what the rest of you have been up to while I got my beauty rest," she felt a liar for smiling but something about Ritsuko's expression was contagious.

Taking her phone of her pocket and turning it off, Ritsuko gazed at the door over her shoulder and shook her head. "Well you were injected with a synthetic drug designed to get answers out of you. Thanks to what info we got after the fact, we learned why it's considered illegal to use. It induces a state of torpor that the mind might never recover from. You might have woken up the day after injected, a year and a half away, or maybe never at all," Ritsuko took hold of Misato's hand as it started to tremble. "You were moved about to keep you safe until after the attack on the base and the city recovered. Then you were put here until…that was about a year ago you were moved back," she gave the hand a squeeze as true emotion, joy, radiated off the woman. Ritsuko was damn happy to have her friend back.

Sadness shifted into pure anger at the audacity of those thugs, Misato gritted her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. "I remember…remember them telling me about it. But I knew I wouldn't let it beat me, knew I'd survive," she had thought it bravado at the time. Now that she woke up, and those assholes were gone, Misato knew she was victorious. Sniffing hard, and freeing herself from Ritsuko's light embrace, Misato continued eating. "So tell me about this attack?" she stuck her tongue out at the runny eggs on the plate.

For the next ten minutes, Ritsuko informed Misato of all that came to light post invasion attempt. Nerv's hidden purpose, Seele and the months of hunting them and the rich fools stealth attempts to reclaim Nerv assets, everything she knew. Through all of her talking, the blond kept checking the door with increasing aggravation and impatience. "And after that we found the last of Seele's hidden caches of money, and Kehl, arrested him, and that was the last we had to worry about the fool and his aims," Ritsuko got out of her seat and took the now empty tray of food.

Having known part of Gendo's plans for post angels, Misato was still disgusted that the betrayal didn't end there. To think people in the UN were hoping to destroy humanity too, and that even after the aborted Third Impact they hid like roaches trying to achieve it. "If I was awake back then…I'd run them over with a tank!" she felt fatigue working back on her. "Why am I so tired, Ritsuko, why does it hurt to move my arms and legs?" she held her hand up shakily no longer able to ignore it.

Tugging on her collar, Ritsuko's face lost some of its joy, "We did move you and exercise you while you were in your coma, your muscles did atrophy a little. You'll recover fully, but you will need some physical therapy and you won't like it. But judging by the fact the door is about to break open, you won't be alone for it." With an exasperated groan, Ritsuko slithered out of her chair and headed to the door. "Just say the word and they go though. Your recovery is imperative and you'll need sleep, funny, to get your mind and body back up to shape. We still need majors for Nerv's new purpose," and with that Ritsuko opened the door.

A flash of red was neigh instantaneous to the door opening, followed by a metallic clank as Misato's bed glide across the floor and hit the wall. Rubbing her face against Misato's chest, a teary eyed Asuka cried, "I knew you'd come back to me! I just knew it!" Laying on the woman, Asuka just wormed herself fully onto the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around the woman. "You are SO in my mad book for how long this took you!" Asuka took a moment to scowl before returning to her blissful.

Her hair was longer too, a fuller figure, and just as vibrant as back when they first arrived in Tokyo-3, Misato marveled. "Asuka you're…not angry at me anymore?" she said dumbly. The memories of the fights over Kaji, Asuka moving out, the depression from the lowering sync score…it was as if none of it happened. Movement caught her eye as Shinji and Rei walked in hand in hand, oh bugger. "Ikari-kun, Ayanami-kun you're visiting me too huh? This is all a bit much for me right now!" both other teens looked happier too if more subdued. Misato had never really seen Rei happy, but she could pass for it now. Shinji though, Misato had come to really like that boy and what he did for Asuka. But with the open display of affection, it was likely Asuka and Shinji called it quits during her time asleep.

With her ever present lack of social graces, Rei grabbed the old flowers and just threw them away. "We came with Akagi-san, but she would not let us into the room until she let us. Asuka nearly came in regardless," Rei dusted the fallen plant off her onto the floor. Offering Misato a small smile, more than most ever saw, Rei bowed slightly to the woman. Turning to Shinji, a look of utter caring etched on her face, "They were most worried about you, but they never lost hope."

Walking around the bed, releasing Ayanami, Shinji took the open side of the bed. "Asuka-chan never lost hope ever. Each day was always the day you'd wake up. Figures the day you do we had a…memorial to go to," Shinji reaching out and took Misato's extended hand. He gave her a small shake. "We don't want to overburden you today, but we'll be back…if we can get Asuka-chan to ever let go of you. We have therapy today," the lad ran a hand over Asuka's mane of hair.

What was this? Was the caring and polite boy she had thought so perfect for Asuka two-timing her? Well Misato was not going to let that happen. "So Shinji-kun, any reason you came walking in here holding Ayanami's hand and now you're petting my soon-to-be daughter?" Misato felt Asuka wiggle against her. But when Ritsuko hid a laugh behind her hand and walked out of the room, Misato could only look at the three sets of eyes fixed on her. "D-don't take me for a fool now, I know I've missed a lot but…but…" she didn't know what to say. She HATED being in the dark and everybody had a year and a half of secrets on her!

"I became Asuka Langley Katsuragi over a year ago," Asuka propped her chin between Misato's assets. Propping herself off and accepting Shinji's help to the ground, Asuka kept hold of his hand. "As for this one," she flicked Shinji with her free hand, "Aside from his new last name, Akagi by the way, he's a sexist pig who has two girlfriends. We take turns with putting up with him, but Puppy-kun is worth it." Wrapping her arms around him, Asuka showed Misato she wasn't kidding with a very open and amorous showing of affection.

Quick to act, Rei was over to the two and separating them. "You speak as if this was not fully agreed upon by all of us, and that you are not the one seeking his bed just as much as I," the flat tone was just a little more edgy than normal. The firmness of her eyes was evident to everybody then softened just a little. "Now we are keeping doctor Sakomoto waiting. You may visit with Katsuragi-san again afterward," Rei took both hands and started leading them to the door. The trio did stop to individually wish Misato a speedy recovery and to assure they'd be back once they could be.

"What the devil was that," Misato still couldn't believe what she had seen. The Asuka she had known would never share her man with another, but what she had just seen was to real to be an act. Just more fuel on the fire of things she needed to learn. Pointing at the trio, Asuka had stopped to wave at a window, to Ritsuko, "Details now…you adopted Ikari-kun? I adopted Asuka? What were those three playing at…and why are still trying to hide that ring?"

Shutting the door to the room, Ritsuko reclaimed her chair. "Yes I adopted Shinji…we adopted Shinji," Ritsuko started off averting her eyes. "You can blame that daughter of yours for her new name, she claimed you wanted it and we didn't refute her," Ritsuko had to roll her eyes at that. Crossing her legs the woman popped a piece of gum in her mouth and offered one to Misato. "As for the ring, I didn't want to upset you when you just woke up. We got married three months ago. We didn't want to rush to quickly into it," Ritsuko ran her finger over the ring.

"I…after hearing the time that has passed…I suspected he moved on," Misato felt the bile in her stomach rise. For them it was almost two years, for her it was a matter of days. But that didn't make the hurt any less. Sniffing hard, fighting back the itch of her eyes, "So woman, tell me the details! Your punishment for everything…tell me about my d-daughter and your son's tawdry little relationship and your own."

And tell Ritsuko did, of the odd situation that only the trio of pilots understood. Ritsuko didn't even both trying to explain the trio, they'd have to do that themselves when Misato was ready to hear it. As for Kaji and her though, Ritsuko spared no detail. They married a little over three months ago after enough time had passed, the situation at Nerv relented to allow it. No longer sending one of the Pilots in Unit-01 that now accepted all three of them, after remnants of Seele, the command staff was given time to act. And, Kaji took Ritsuko's last name and joined Ritsuko and Shinji's family, Shinji having nearly instantly being adopted.

It was hard on Misato, but the woman fought to keep herself in control. Life had moved on, and she had to accept it and recover. As much as she thought she should feel pain at Kaji's betrayal, she didn't. Almost as if she had always expected it, that Kaji was never fully committed to her. Oh he'd get one hell of a smack and a kick to the balls, likely never really talk to him again. But she was alive, she could adapt. A chance at a new beginning, a chance to live again without the yoke of the angels over her neck.

X-X

Life was good for Rei, it wasn't perfect but she didn't want perfect she liked things just as they were. A month after Katsuragi woke up, things were going even better than before, now that Asuka was no longer worrying. Shinji and Asuka were the two most important things in Rei's life, and she wanted them as happy as they could be. In turn they did the same for her. Sure Shinji was primarily focused on making her happy, but Asuka and she got long far better than when they first met.

Opening the window in her bedroom, the smaller of the two as Asuka needed the larger, Rei stood in her shirt and nothing else. The sun streamed down high from the sky, Rei liked to spend her Sunday's lazing about the apartment. Well she'd spend her days off being lazy unless Shinji or Asuka wanted to do something with her. Then it was music, movies, or any other number of things she enjoyed. "I should see if Shinji-kun is available," she favored herself a small smile. To think she almost gave up on all this.

Gathering some clothing, Asuka approved of course, Rei donned her attire and only gave it a moment's thought. Shinji didn't really care how she dressed, but Rei would humor Asuka and wear 'trendy' cloths. She found a small breakfast/lunch already prepared for her thanks to Shinji. Reading the note on the fridge Rei nodded as she recalled, "Asuka is helping Katsuragi-san's rehabilitation." Putting the plate in the microwave she warmed it up and got herself some juice. Food was much better than before, and Rei had taken to really enjoying some of the new things she was still discovering.

A pile of dishes lay in the sink, a testament to some of the problems life still did hold. Asuka and Rei were just not the best roommates with dynamically different approaches to how to keep the apartment. While Asuka liked to keep things clean and orderly, Rei just didn't care as much about it. Shinji would clean up and play arbitrator when the arguments got too big. And he was a part of the problems too. Sharing was hard when both of them wanted to do something with him, he hated taking sides between them in personal reasons.

"But Asuka is busy right now," another smile crested Rei's lips. Putting her plates in the sink, she contemplated washing them but opted out. Grabbing her violin, the girl headed next door and fished about her pocket. Both Asuka and Rei had cardkeys to the Akagi apartment, a fact both of them used to their advantage from time to time. Walking in, still shoeless, Rei listened for sounds of life, "Shinji, I wish to spend time with you." He never turned her town, not since this started.

A shrill yelp and a crash accompanied a more joyous call from Ritsuko, "What did I say about picking movies from our private selection young man!" When Rei entered the living room she saw Ritsuko on her knees and elbows over a laying Shinji. With one hand up holding a dvd she waggled it before the young man's face, "Care to explain why this wasn't where I put it last?"

Taking a seat on the couch, Rei placed her instrument on her lap and tilted her head. "I requested it for our last 'date' as Asuka puts it. I do not want to bore him with my lack of…" Rei found both sets of eyes on her with different expressions. While Shinji was flush for more than one reason, Ritsuko's eyes were wide with disbelief. Pounding her right fist to her left palm, "Oh this is another of the items I was not to tell others, as Asuka reminds me." Social stigmas would forever be her bane, she just didn't understand or care about them. Why would Shinji's adopted parent care if he was having relations with people.

Sitting down on Shinji, Ritsuko just grabbed her forehead and shook. "Sometimes Rei I worry about you and wonder if therapy is helping at all," she groaned. Getting off Shinji she slide the DVD back in the smaller binder on the counter. Helping the young man who was content to gaze at the ground up, Ritsuko patted his back. "Shinji-kun, I know you three have some odd little relationship going on, and I won't get in your way. Just ask us first before taking things. Ryouji and I wanted this one last night, its new," after realizing what she said Ritsuko quickly fled the room.

"So that was why you stayed over so late yesterday with Asuka and her games," Rei nodded checking off that fact. It was rare for Shinji to stay late for no reason, guess he had one after all. Her heart still warmed to this day when Shinji sat next to her at slim distance. "Would you like to play in the park today or maybe the roof? Or something you would like to do?" both Asuka and he had great ideas.

His head flipped from side to side for a moment before he got off the couch. "Walking the cello to the park is a pain, but you do like it, and I've not been in a while," he relented. Shinji truly had a habit of spoiling Rei. Asuka attributed it to Rei having much less than either of them in the past, but used the fact to force him to spoil her too. Grabbing the cello case he gestured to the door, "Enjoy the breakfast…lunch? And I thought you would be working on that project for the literary club."

Ah yes school and her 'growing social life', Rei thought that a mixed bag. Outside of the Akagi family and Asuka, Rei really didn't want to interact with others. They confused her, they alienated her, and some even hated her. Thanks to the efforts of the new defunct Seele group, a lot of her rather questionable creation was known to the world. A lot of people hated her for being a clone, feared she was different or a monster. Those that didn't know her anyway, but while she didn't care if they treated her bad she did get offended when they drug her significant others into it. To try and help Rei socialize outside her small circle though, Shinji got the Literary club to accept her. The books were great, one other girl in the group was to, but the others she could do without.

"Shinji-kun, if you're leaving could you pick me up some coke for tonight on your way back?" Ritsuko called out from the kitchen.

With a hand on Rei's back, gently guiding her to the door and just to enjoy the sensation, Shinji crooned his head back, "Sure thing, Ritsuko." He never called Ritsuko mom, but Shinji would occasionally call Ryouji dad. Nobody questioned it, but Asuka said she wondered why at times. The duo chatted as they walked, Shinji asking how the morning was and how the club was going. Rei was content to listen, and from time to time ask a small question. It was just a blessing to be with him, somebody that understood, somebody that accepted her regardless of everything. Stopping by a small grocery store on the way to the park, "I'll just buy this now so we can have some drinks too. It's going to be a hot one today."

Her own instrument case held in both hands, Rei nodded as Shinji headed in. Still finding no real reason to speak unless necessary, she watched the crowds moving. Areas of the town were still being repaired to this day, but it was mostly back to normal. Both of Shinji and Asuka's friends, Hikari and Kensuke, had returned to the city as did one Maya Ibuki. A small part of Rei felt bad for the tech, but neither Asuka or she were going to hint that Shinji was free. The girl took it harder than most would have expected, but not everybody could have what they wanted. Though Rei had observed Aoba had been snooping around the girl from time to time.

"Hey good looking want a date," a smooth sounding voice called out at Rei from behind. "Got a nice butt on ya and being alone on a Sunday is a crime," the guy casually grabbed Rei's arm and spun her around. Upon seeing her face the guy's eyes went wider, "You are a looker, familiar too."

Her mind froze up, this THING was touching her…Rei's eyes hardened. "I did not give you permission to touch me," Rei's brow creased angrily. Jerking her arm out of the man's grasp, Rei took a defiant step back from him. To this day only Asuka and Shinji could touch her without her bristling up. Her therapist said in time she'd get over it, but she didn't want to! She could tell when it wasn't somebody she trusted, and she saw no reason to trust others. Life had proven that most people had nothing but selfish interests in mind, and Rei wanted nothing to do with them. "I am waiting for my boyfriend who is procuring drinks. Leave," she said flatly.

Rebuffed the man, a good foot taller than Rei and apparently older by at least a year, took a step closer regardless. "Look I got off on the wrong foot. And I…wait…aren't you one of those," the teen's face scrunched up in disgust. Pointing a finger in Rei's face, other people walking about stopped at the display. "You're that mutant Nerv made that nearly killed us all aren't you! I saw your picture on the news," he yanked his hand at her as she tried to escape into the store, "No running freak! My buddy lost a sister thanks to you!"

Memories, dark and disgusting, flooded into her mind. Memories of 'Fuyutski', again her therapist said to use his name to gain power over it and not fear him. Similar times of people recognizing her and starting a scene. It was real bad the month after the Seele documents were made public, released to discredit Nerv as ex-members of Seele fought back. Asuka suggested Rei dye her hair for a while, but she wouldn't. Shinji had commented he loved her hair, soft and silky despite its unkempt nature. Prone and seeing the eyes of the crowd on her, Rei panicked. Again emotions were a double edged sword.

A comforting hand clamped down, a familiar hand, on Rei's shoulder and didn't say a word. Shinji just smiled at her and shook his head. It wouldn't help Rei for others to fight her battles, but they could stand with her. Shinji did however grab the prick's hand and painfully remove it, Asuka had returned to teaching her favorite 'Puppy' some tricks.

Bolstered by the confidence Shinji imparted to her, Rei remembered the truth and it shone through the dark. "I was not responsible for the details in those reports. I am a human being who fought and suffered to save all of you. If you do not agree I cannot change that, but your opinion of me doesn't matter," Rei reclined into Shinji's chest. It was warm and sturdy, gave her confidence. "As for you, your words are only fueled by regret at being turned down, and the smaller size of your genitalia. Which I have no need for as Shinji-kun here is more than I can handle," Rei did take joy in watching the man pale and run.

"Rei-chan, you learned that one from Asuka didn't you…and please emit that last part next time?" Shinji kissed Rei's cheek. Her bravado eroded a little, but Shinji was there to help her through it. Later Rei helped Shinji when it came to other people. It was give and take for all three of them. They played in the park for a good hour, then just went for a walk. Eventually they returned to the apartment, Asuka was home. Shinji bid the two goodbye, and Asuka and Rei spoke of their days.

Katsuragi was going to be released in another month, and wanted Asuka to move back in with her…and Rei. Misato knew it was a package deal now, and since Misato wanted to live with her daughter extended the invite to Rei. It would be a bit longer walk to visit Shinji, but Rei agreed to it. Asuka loved Misato, Rei wanted Asuka happy, and living with Misato would make Asuka happy. And since it inconvenienced BOTH of them, Rei relented. To celebrate the decision Asuka forced Rei to play some of her games till late night…then they called Shinji over to tell him. He was obviously upset, but knew it was the best thing. Well then Rei listened as Asuka gave Shinji his reward for being the bigger man on things. He stayed the night. Rei benefitted as much as the others.

Their memories of choosing life over Instrumentality faded in time, but nights like this Rei was reminded of it. They had become one in spirit, they had communed, and they all had reasons to want to end Instrumentality or to let it continue. Individually they'd have let it continue, but together they chose to live. And they would stay together, as years went on they never once hinted at separating, life for the surviving pilots was a matched set. None of them regretted it, despite the fights they got into, they never regretted.

X-X

Holding a can of Yebisu in his hand, Kaji surveyed the madness before him. Katsuragi's 'welcome home' party was in full swing and the moderate apartment was packed. Work friends, old and new, mingled about over one of Misato's long standing cans of swill. Ritsuko and Rei were off in a corner chatting to one another, they just weren't party people. In the center of the small group of teens were Asuka and Shinji. The mighty Germany had an arm dominantly wrapped around Shinji and a can of Yebisu in the other. As it was a special occasion Misato allowed her daughter and Rei to drink if wanted.

"I'd never suspect that was the same girl in a hospital bed in a coma," Kaji just shook his can at the pair. His two drinking companions at the moment were Shigeru and Makoto. Makoto, Kaji noticed, had been spooking around both Maya and Misato all night but with little luck. Rubbing at his elbow, Kaji laughed as Asuka gave Shinji a spin in response to something the boy in the glasses said. Pointing at them again though, "But at times she does get a bit dark. They all do, the pilots. But then again they have each other to rely on."

Eating from the chips he had cupped in one hand, Shigeru nodded as he chewed. "Well she looks a lot better than the last time I saw them, they all do," Shigeru had quit Nerv and never came back. Dusting his hands free of the crumbs the local musician reached for his plastic cup. "So how is the married life treating you? My girlfriend is heavily hinting she wants me to pop the question. How bad is it?" he smirked with an upturned eyebrow.

Married life? Kaji had to admit he hadn't expected much change from pre-married to married, and he was right. "It's a nightmare," Kaji joked, "I have to help clean, cook, and the sex is just draining." That part was true, but he was more than willing. Life with Ritsuko and Shinji was as close to his ideal life as possible. A son without deep emotional scars would be nice, but Shinji handled it like a champ. Both Kaji and Shigeru eyed Makoto who squirmed under their gaze, then they broke laughing. "Seriously though, I couldn't be happier with things. We fight, but it's never over anything to important. Mostly who works to hard, and what to do with the pilots," Kaji watched Ritsuko from the corner of his eye.

"Are you serious about those three are really like that? Seems a bit farfetched to me," Makoto was well into his sixth can. Still wearing his Nerv uniform, he had come right from work where the others had taken time off. Taking a savage bite out of one of the sandwiches Shinji had prepped for the party, Makoto was making a mess of himself. "Kids freak me out still, can't get that image of the three of them flying out of my mind. Blame the news for all this," he sank heavily against the wall the trio leaned.

Some things never change, and Makoto's fixation on the wrong things was one of them. Kaji pushed himself off the wall, "Well they have it worse than you do, Makoto. They had to live through it, had to weigh the option of life and death. We should be getting on our hands and knees and thanking them for us being here," Kaji did take offense to it. Nobody was going to criticize the pilots around him, and heaven help those that did so around Ritsuko. Dusting his slacks smooth, Kaji tipped his can to the two, "Think I'm going to go mingle a bit. And Makoto, don't repeat the incident from six months ago. Don't want the wife giving me another reason she doesn't want to go out."

Grabbing himself some finger food Shinji made, Kaji winked at a gaggle of teenagers who giggled at him. Asuka had invited a few friends, Shinji had one or two over, and Rei invited a sole girl from some club she was in, so mostly it was adults at the little shindig. New Nerv had taken to Misato and his command quite well. While Misato had been only part-time with her recovery, she still made an impact on those old and new. With the last threat of Seele gone, Nerv was starting to consider downsizing and deconstruction, but that was years out. The shift to commercial production was the direction Ritsuko was suggesting. The tech used to create and repair the Eva's could really help the world.

"Ssho Kaji-shan, h-how are you doi-doing tonight?" Maya waved at Kaji before stumbling into him. The drunken ex-Nerv tech held onto Ryouji to stabilize herself. After she got her bearings, Maya helped herself to a large plate of food. "Shinji-kun really could make shum good food," she took a long sensuous bite. Waving her arms wide, spilling her mixed drink on the table, "Ho-how you and sempai going?"

Kaji had known Maya was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking, but this was something else. The woman had come to visit Ritsuko more than once since moving back to Tokyo-3, but she never did take kindly to him. "Well just enjoying a nice evening out. Ritsuko and I don't get out as much as we'd like, Nerv is taking a lot of time right now. Ritsuko is doing good since your last visit," he leaned forward to observe her face. Kaji wasn't a fool, he knew Ritsuko still had trust issues and always would. It was his own fault, but was amazed she had suggested they come to this party. A good sign.

"Kaji-san don't go eating all of Puppy-kun's food! Save some for the rest of us! Oh hi Ibuki," Asuka chastised as she came over to the table. Asuka of course did not come alone, she had been attached to Shinji by the hip since the shindig got started. Nobody ever questioned it, Asuka was showing everybody what was hers, long and hard fought over. Listing into Shinji, her can set on the table, she draped her arms on him, "Think you should take me to my room, Puppy-kun, need to work off some of this booze."

Girl just had to antagonize Maya at every turn it seemed, but Kaji wouldn't get in the middle of that. Shinji had to deal with it. "Oh I'm hardly touching it today, Soryu," Kaji and Asuka never would like one another. Stepping out of the way between the warring women, Maya had that look of somebody going to fight. Waggling a finger at Shinji too, "And don't you be making a scene here, son, this is a party for Katsuragi not…" Well Shinji had taken Rei and Asuka's move two weeks ago a little hard. Guess having his lifelines further away was a scary thought.

Freeing himself from Asuka's embrace, easy once Asuka had a target to latch onto, Shinji got to Kaji's side. "S-she's just acting tough right now. Asuka-chan has been so worried about Misato for so long, today is a day for her to unwind," Shinji sipped his soda. Having been Asuka's accessory for the last few hours, Shinji had the expression of extreme fatigue coupled with relief. Tugging on his collar and spying the corner with Ritsuko and Rei enviously, "And I wouldn't even think of doing something like that. I think Asuka is just trying to get Maya upset."

Leading Shinji away from the table, where Asuka and Maya were increasing in volume. "Wise of you, and I guess it's time for the two of us to see the woman of the hour," Kaji wouldn't face Misato alone. First time he ran into Misato after she woke the woman laid him flat out and gave him more than a few bruises. Maybe with Shinji to act as a buffer she'd not make a scene. "So how are your friends enjoying the party? Good I hope, don't get to see them to often," Kaji asked after overhearing the brunette girl yell at the geek.

"They're having fun, it helps to take the nerves down about our upcoming tests," Shinji shrugged. Waving at a few of the workers that they didn't know personally, Shinji tensed up as they came to the couch with Misato on it. "Misato-san is doing a lot better today, Kaji-san. Last few weeks have been hard on her adapting to living with people again," Shinji was ridged and hardly moving.

Ah so the mother was not happy to know her daughter was getting it god from time to time again, Kaji smirked. They didn't care, Ritsuko and him, the time to be worried about such was long gone for those three. "Well more reason to talk to her without Asuka clinging to you like a wet shirt right?" Kaji teased as he pushed. He had observed more than one person interact with Misato tonight, and it normally went quite standard. But he had to laugh when he watched the tentacle like arms of the woman latch onto Shinji and suck him into the couch next to her. Guess she wasn't to upset with him, maybe Shinji feared something else?

"And here is my little girl's pet," Misato gave Shinji's temple a kiss and settled him next to her. Locking eyes with Kaji, Misato's face went stone hard for a moment before she shook her head free of whatever dark thoughts she had. "Kaji, nice of you to stop hiding in the corner with your friends. Though it did keep Aoba from oozing over me," she offered a small smile. With her left side occupied with the couch armrest and Shinji on her right, Misato appeared the queen of the apartment.

It pained him to see that look of contempt on Misato's face, but Kaji knew it was warranted. He had hurt her, not as bad as Ritsuko, but he had. But he had to choose one of them, and he had always wanted Ritsuko more. "Well I could call him over if you wanted. He'd love more time with you," Kaji waved at the man. The look of abstract fear on Misato's face told him to stop teasing, "But I could do without the doom and gloom of his 'I need a girlfriend' right now."

"Shinji you left me with that nasty mouse of a girl!" a very drunken Asuka dove at Shinji on the couch. Making a sandwich of the three of them, Asuka nuzzled close against the boy. "She said all sorts of nasty things about me. Why don't you go defend me like you do Rei," she asked sleepily before closing her eyes.

Laughing at how quick Asuka went from firebrand to unconscious, Kaji couldn't believe it. "That girl of yours is something else. I don't think I've seen her that happy when we lived together," and that was the truth. For the next twenty minutes they tried to talk civilly but it was harsh going. They'd be much like Maya and Makoto were, work companions and little else. That didn't bother Ryouji though, he had all the woman he wanted. He could feel Ritsuko watching him, and Rei had taken to sitting next to the dozing Asuka.

The party continued for another few hours and ended when Maya threw a bowl of chips at Makoto. Shinji, carried both sleeping girls one after another, to their rooms. As the party goers left, Ritsuko took Misato aside and the pair spoke outside of Ryouji's range. It didn't matter, those two were patching up their friendship as best they could. It would take two years for Ritsuko and Misato to truly become friends again, but for Misato and him it never got past strained platitudes. That suited him fine, Misato was a mistake and he was to happy with life to chance another.

After the party, the Akagi family went home and Shinji quickly hit the sack. Boy was smart enough to know to put his headphones on that night. Ritsuko was firm that Kaji perform his husbandly duties, a reminder of who he married. Fights and accusations of cheating would occasional pop up, but they never separated for long. Three years after their marriage a new woman at Nerv made a play and caused Ritsuko to throw him out for a week, but a public blowout cleared things up.

For Shinji and his companions, Kaji had been there as much as he could for them, but they was little he could do. Mostly the three tended to one another, but Shinji would ask questions from time to time. And it made Kaji's heart swell. They tried once again to have a child, but it never took, but both were content with their son. Not everybody could say they had a child that was one of the triumvirate that saved the earth. And he had chance to thank for it, a simple coin flip in his youth set into motion everything that happened. At one point Kaji did ask Ritsuko if the flip she made regarding taking him back had been legitimate but she didn't answer. Life had been hard ride to this point, and not everybody had it as good as him, but Kaji was content he was happy and he didn't doubt it. He'd never chance ruining it again, he had his wife and son now and couldn't ask for more.

- The End -


End file.
